Chapter Text
Jenny Noble was six years old, blonde, and possessed of a short stature and indomitable personality.
Jenny had a daddy, the tallest, strongest, handsomest, bravest daddy in the world. He had sticky-uppy hair (her Grandad's words) and a big smile and sad eyes. She had her funny Aunt Donna and her grandad Wilf, and her grumpy Granna Sylvia, but that was okay, she could always make Granna smile. Jenny's daddy was always telling her she was so lucky to have so many people who loved her, and he was at the top of the list.
What Jenny didn't have was a mum.
Jenny sort of remembered her. She'd been sweet and gentle and had curly blonde hair like Jenny's. She had liked to sing to Jenny. She had sung "Blackbird" a lot and whenever that song came on Daddy's iPod now he'd get sad. Mummy's heart had gotten sick one day and couldn't get better, and then she had been away a lot and Jenny had lots of sleepovers at Aunt Donna's.
One night right after Jenny's third birthday, Daddy came home late and told her Mummy was an angel now, her special angel, and she would see Mummy again someday in Heaven, and that he and Jenny would have to be really brave together. He held her and they both had cried a lot. Aunt Donna and Granna had cried a lot too. She didn't like to think about that night much.
When Mummy first "passed on", as Granna called it, Daddy had been sad all the time. At first his tears had scared her because Jenny didn't know that daddies cried at all, but then she sort of got used to it. After a while, Jenny could make him smile again, and after a couple of Christmases, Daddy wasn't quite as sad anymore. That was nice. He laughed a lot more. They did a lot of fun stuff together and he learned how to braid hair, (finally).
Jenny was smart, and she could see how her daddy smiled sadly whenever he saw Aunt Donna with Lee, who wanted to marry her. Or when he dropped her off at Melody's and Mr. Williams was leaving to go be a nurse and he kissed Mrs. Williams goodbye. Jenny had told Aunt Donna how sad he still looked sometimes but made her pinky swear not to tell Daddy about it because she hated it when Daddy worried.
Jenny's daddy always did his very best, even when he was sad or tired. She loved her daddy with all her heart, but sometimes she noticed the other mums. That silly Alfie had Mrs. Owens. Tony's mum was really nice. Her other best friend Melody had Mrs. Williams, who took care of her after school some days. It made her sad sometimes to see them.
One night Jenny got up out of bed, as was her habit, and wandered downstairs looking for Daddy and Aunt Donna. She loved it when Aunt Donna came over and she had protested having to go to bed. She knew Daddy would just send her back up to her room so she sat on the bottom step and listened as Aunt Donna and Daddy cleaned up dishes in the kitchen.
"Why?" Daddy asked. He sounded annoyed. "Because. Because I am busy at the university. And with Jenny."
"Babysitter, anytime, right here," Aunt Donna chimed in. Jenny chafed at the term 'babysitter,' but continued to listen. It sounded interesting.
"You have a boyfriend and aren't always available."
"I'm blatantly auditioning Lee for the role of dad, and he's performing admirably. And he knows the rule: love me, love my Jenny. No problem there."
"And there's the problem. I can't bring someone new into Jenny's life! I can't upset her routine like that. It's already been turned upside down at the age of three. She comes first, no questions asked. Her happiness is what matters, Donna."
"What, so you don't get to be happy?"
Jenny heard that sigh, the one Daddy did when he was grumpy about something he couldn't fix. Then he spoke. "I don't know that I'll ever find someone who makes me as happy as Astrid made me. We were together for so long. She got me through my doctorates and we made that beautiful girl together. Where would I ever find that again?"
Jenny listened anxiously. Daddy's voice sounded like it did when he was about to cry. She almost wished she hadn't listened in.
"First of all, you're underestimating Jenny. She's mature for her age and she'd adjust. She wants you to be happy, and believe me she knows when you're not."
"Did she say something to you?"
Jenny sat up taller to listen, anxious.
"She might've, but there was a pinky swear involved. She's concerned, 's all I'll say."
Jenny relaxed. Aunt Donna always respected the pinky swear.
"Are the pair of you conspiring against me?" Daddy said with a chuckle.
"Not yet," Aunt Donna said, and Jenny could hear the smile in her voice. "Oh, John. We just want you to be happy. It won't be the same, if you do find someone else. But who's to say different is bad? Who's to say it can't be a different kind of wonderful?"
There was a long silence. Jenny yawned. She thought she'd better get back up to bed before Daddy found her sleeping here again.
She heard her daddy speak just as she was starting to get up. "I suppose I could try. I do miss the companionship. I'm not promising anything, Donna Noble. It might be a disaster."
"Are you saying that to shut me up?"
A laugh. "Maybe."
"Just try. Go make a friend if nothing else right now. And don't expect it's going to be a disaster from the beginning. God knows if I had that attitude if never would have met Lee and gotten over Lance."
"I'll think about it. And that's all you're getting from me at this point. I'm going to check on Jenny."
With that, Jenny shot back up the stairs and dashed back to her room. She dove under her covers, trying to slow the excited quick breathing that would be a dead giveaway that she'd been out of her bed.
Jenny heard his footsteps on the stairs and then her door creak open. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. Daddy knelt down by her bed.
"Jenny," Daddy whispered. "You left Taggy on the step." Her eyes popped open and he handed over her little pink tag blanket she'd slept with since the age of six months. It had little satin tags sewn all around the hem. It still smelled a little like Mummy. When Aunt Donna had tried to wash Taggy when Jenny was very little, Jenny had cried and cried until Donna figured it out. Her daddy decided to spray a little of the perfume Mummy had worn on the corner of the blanket. That had been enough. He'd done it every laundry day since.
"Busted," Jenny murmured. She hadn't even realized she'd picked up Taggy. Daddy chuckled, his eyebrow raised, amused.
"You need to get to sleep, little wanderer. You don't want to be tired for Ms. Oswald tomorrow. It's a big day."
"You're coming, right? You'll be at career day?" She sat up to look him in the eye. His smile was brilliant. She loved it when he smiled like that.
Daddy kissed her forehead and tucked her back in. "Of course I will. I love you, Ladybug. Now close those eyes and go to sleep."
Jenny opened one eye. "Rub my back?"
"Aunt Donna's waiting for me but I will rub your back for five minutes. And that is all. Stay in bed."
"Yes, sir!" She said with a giggle and a salute like she'd seen Grandad Wilf do. Daddy rolled his eyes.
"Sleep, Ladybug." Jenny giggled again and settled down. She felt him sit on the edge of the bed and then her daddy's big strong hand was gently rubbing her back.
"Daddy?" Jenny asked, yawning.
"Hmmm?"
"I'm nervous about talking in front of everybody. What if I mess up?"
"You're going to be brilliant. You know your speech, and how to demonstrate that experiment. You're ready. And if you're nervous tomorrow...just look for me and give the speech to me. Don't think about anyone else. I know you can do it."
"Maybe I can," Jenny said, still sounding doubtful.
"I believe in you, Ladybug. Now sleep." Jenny sat up once more and kissed Daddy's cheek, then flopped back down and grabbed Taggy. Daddy resumed rubbing her back.
Whenever Jenny had trouble sleeping she'd tell herself stories in her head. She'd cast herself and her Daddy in adventures flying through space. Eventually she'd doze off to dreams of becoming an adventurer, following Daddy headlong into danger. Tonight, though, she thought about the ladies at her school. She wanted to think of a friend for her daddy. Maybe even someone to kiss. She thought of the school ladies because that was her main frame of reference.
Ms. Oswald was really pretty and had dark hair and wore cute dresses. In fact, she was almost who Jenny picked to emulate for Career Day, but in the end she had to be a scientist like Daddy. Thinking about it, Jenny recalled that Ms. Oswald might already like Mr. Pink, who taught the big kids. They surely did spend a lot of time smiling at each other. She thought they probably kissed sometimes. She hoped not at school.
So Ms. Oswald- out. Ms. deSouza, the gym teacher? Nope, she wouldn't listen when that Angie was cheating at Capture the Flag. If she wouldn't listen there, she wouldn't listen at home.
Miss Redfern, the head mistress? Um, no, thought Jenny. If she became her new Mum, she could just about see Alfie Owens trying to get her to get him out of trips to Miss Redfern's office. She might only be six, but she couldn't see any advantage to having the head mistress live at her house. She'd just have to keep thinking.
The combination of her daddy's hand and his soft humming lulled Jenny to sleep before she could think of any more.
******
It had been a very, very long day for John Noble. And he still had tests to grade. Not that he'd sleep anyway, after talking to Donna that evening. He loved her dearly, but sometimes she got to be a bit much. Of course, he thought, she was a bit much when she was telling the truth.
John sighed heavily, removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, thinking of the promise he'd made to his sister. Knowing by now she'd reported that promise to Mum and she'd hold him to it as well.
He remembered how long it took him to get up the courage to even talk to Astrid. He finally shyly spoke to her after watching her singing on open mic night at the university. It had turned out she'd hoped he'd be there and she wanted to talk to him. They'd been inseparable after that. Friends to lovers to spouses to parents, to the very end. They'd lived a wonderful lifetime in ten short years.
And now Donna, and apparently Jenny, were hoping he was ready to start over again, just when then excruciating exhaustion of getting through the day without Astrid was finally starting to abate. Maybe they saw something in himself that he had realized yet, and he just needed a push in the right direction. It didn't hurt as much to consider the possibility, and he thought that day would never come.
It would be nice to make a friend, he mused. It would also be nice to feel alive again, as opposed to just existing from day to day.
It was just the getting started part that made him want to beat his head on the wall in frustration.
He could hear what Astrid would say, if she knew he was dithering about something. "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a first step, or some such nonsense, so get your arse in gear, Doctor John, and step." Then he'd invariably start singing the Proclaimers song "500 Miles" to her as she laughed and sang along. He smiled at the memory. It hurt, as always, but the edge had been taken off the pain. Maybe he'd even be able to listen to the song again.
Perhaps he was ready. For a friend, at the very least. But, at any rate, he was done grading for the night. He yawned, exhausted by the day. He dropped his red grading pen, and decided to turn in for the night. He did have a date, an early date, with a tiny blonde force of nature who wanted to be a scientist when she grew up.