Work Text:
Where Liu Qingge is an unusually early bird compared to most others, there are those who rise earlier than him on Bai Zhan peak — which is why he doesn’t think anything is wrong upon hearing conversation on the way to ablutions. Upon cleaning up and returning in fresh clothes, however, breakfast still isn’t ready, but somehow Luo Binghe is in his kitchen. Liu Qingge’s hand flies to Cheng Luan, only to hesitate when Yang Yixuan saunters into view with tray of ingredients and no weapon.
“You’re a dirty liar, Luo Binghe,” Yang Yixuan accuses while emptying the tray into a simmering pot.
“Who’s a liar?” Luo Binghe replies coolly, chopping ginger. “If I say I did it, then I did it.”
“Then you must have cheated, tricked shizun somehow.”
Now Liu Qingge is more curious than furious. What in the world were they talking about?
Luo Binghe chuckles. “Isn’t it your shizun’s responsibility to avoid tricks?”
“You’re a demon, probably used sex magic.”
“I’m not that kind of demon,” Luo Binghe replies. He continues cooking, but Yang Yixuan keeps staring at him from behind the stove and trying his patience.
“Do you wait till he’s asleep and put it in his mouth or something?”
What the fuck?
Luo Binghe’s shoulders tense, as if he’s laughing. “If I said yes, would you also give it a try?”
“Of course, I would!” Yang Yixuan replies. “I’ll try anything, I love shizun!”
Liu Qingge’s face heats. What sort of way is that to talk about one’s teacher, you brat?!
Luo Binghe’s shoulders shake harder. “Do you?”
The teasing lilt to his voice makes Yang Yixuan sputter. “Shameless! You think everyone’s like you and Shen-shibo—”
This time, Liu Qingge sees Luo Binghe’s cleaver flash and leaps into action. He blocks the knife with Cheng Luan, slicing the inferior blade in two. Part of it drops heavily on to the cutting board while Luo Binghe holds on to the other half by the handle. Liu Qingge glares in the ringing silence, and the demon stares back, brow raised.
Instead of taking the chance to arm himself, Yang Yixuan scrambles before Liu Qingge and bows. “Shizun, I—”
“You?”
“Luo Binghe is making breakfast,” Yang Yixuan finishes lamely.
Liu Qingge pulls back his sword. “Why, is my own head disciple so useless that he needs to call on a demon?”
“Ah, don’t be grumpy, Liu-shishu,” Luo Binghe rounds the counter with a tray of fresh food. “This lord was merely showing Yang Yixuan how to prepare a new ingredient.”
Yang Yixuan hurriedly comes over to help him lay out the food. Congee is spooned into small bowls, joined by eggs and various meats in little dishes. Liu Qingge looks over the whole thing. “What’s new about rice and eggs?”
“Shishu,” Luo Binghe coyly slides over a pair of chopsticks. “There’s more than rice and eggs.”
Liu Qingge looks again. “Beef?”
Yang Yixuan gasps. “It’s not beef! Oh! Oh, that’s how you get him to eat a vegetable!” Abruptly, he claps a hand over his mouth. “Shit.”
Luo Binghe breaks into the grin he’d been holding back.
Liu Qingge scowls sharply, processing the fact that Luo Binghe has apparently been tricking him into eating some kind of demon realm vegetable disguised as meat. As if that weren’t bad enough, he was teaching Yang Yixuan how to do it.
“Are you two friends?” Liu Qingge demands.
Yang Yixuan and Luo Binghe look at each other, and just as quickly look away with twin expressions of distaste. While Yang Yixuan mumbles something that doesn’t actually answer his question, Liu Qingge sits back and vindictively thinks: there, idiot child, figure out your own relationships before casually talking about who loves whom.
The next day, Yang Yixuan finds a basketful of raw meat in the kitchen that’s actually just more of that strange demon realm produce. There’s a note in Luo-shixiong’s precise characters: To be clear, nobody is like me and shizun. But we wish Yang-shidi luck with Liu Qingge.