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“We’ve got another one!”
Jihoon spun on his heel from where he’d been straining to reach the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard, holding up a tiny tooth for his boyfriend to see as he heard him come in the front door. Seungcheol fell somewhere between a laugh and a groan as he entered the kitchen, eyes bugging out at the little tooth in his boyfriend’s hand.
“You’re kidding!” He shook his head with an incredulous laugh, taking it from Jihoon’s hand to examine a moment before reaching over him to plop it in the jar on the shelf as he muttered, “I don’t know who will bankrupt us first, Santa or the tooth fairy…”
He turned his attention back to his boyfriend he’d sandwiched between him and the counter, snaking an arm around his waist and leaning down to give him a kiss with a smile. “I’m home. TGIF.”
“I’ll say…” Jihoon agreed, allowing one more kiss before extracting himself from his boyfriend to close up the cupboard. “Did you eat? I saved a plate for you.” He said over his shoulder as he saw Seungcheol pull open the fridge.
“Perfect, I’m starved.” Seungcheol rubbed his belly with one hand and pulled out the wrapped plate from the fridge with the other.
Jihoon nodded his approval as he crossed over to perch in the archway into the living room, sighing as he took in the sight. “I did more decorating today, I think it’s the last of my boxes. Finally got the stockings up.”
Seungcheol left his food heating in the microwave and joined Jihoon in the doorway, leaning a hip against the frame and humming with pursed lips as he looked over the living room.
They’d put the tree up last weekend — a real one for Jihoon and Seungkwan, who couldn’t get behind the red and silver tinsel Spiderman/Hello Kitty Choi tree from last year. But there was still plenty of character to be had in the ornaments and little figurines throughout the room, which were mostly Disney/Pixar themed, as well as the rainbow string lights. That being said, Jihoon’s decorations were definitely more on the traditional side - Nutcrackers and gingerbread and the like - and it was glaringly apparent now that he’d lined up the stockings on the wall: two red and white cable knit stockings adorned with a cursive J and S , joined by Hello Kitty, Spiderman, and Spongebob.
“It looks kind of…” Jihoon trailed off, knotting his fingers fretfully in front of him, but Seungcheol laughed.
“It’s fine, not everything has to match, that just gives it character!” He patted Jihoon on the back, peering down at him. “Or, I could pick up some new ones for me and the boys? No big deal.” It was about 100 compromises a day, these days. It was just the period they were in. But it wasn’t always easy to tell what warranted a compromise.
Jihoon shook his head. “Nah, these are perfectly fine. No need to spend the money.”
It was especially hard to balance compromise with saving every penny they could.
When Jihoon’s lease had ended shortly after the school year started, they had agreed it made the most sense to move in together rather than Jihoon and Seungkwan enter another lease on their own. Jihoon’s words at that time still stuck with Seungcheol these months later, warm in his chest, though of course his boyfriend had muttered it like it wasn’t much: It feels more like home at your place, anyways.
Seungcheol wholeheartedly agreed: his apartment only felt complete when Jihoon and Seungkwan were in it. Now that they had lived here a little less than three months, that was still true. It was just also true that his apartment felt a little cramped with Jihoon and Seungkwan in it. Thankfully Chan and Hansol were excitable enough to get pumped up about bunk beds, since the boys had to triple up in the bedroom with Seungkwan. Everyone was excited, and being great sports about this big change. But it was apparent to Seungcheol and Jihoon that they would need a bigger place. Just as soon as they could scrape together the money — and the time .
“Speaking of matching, I had the kids try on their Christmas pajamas.” Jihoon crossed into the front hall to begin bundling up in his coat and scarf and outdoor fuzzy slippers, relaying to Seungcheol as he did, “Looks like Hansol fits in Seungkwan’s set from last year and Chan fits in Hansol’s, so it’s just Seungkwan who needs new ones.”
“Got it, I can take him shopping tomorrow morning.” Seungcheol nodded, following after Jihoon to capture him around the waist again once the man finished doing up his coat and shouldering his bag. “But do you have to go …” He whined dramatically and pouted, swaying his boyfriend in his arms, knowing the answer already and whining harder before dissolving into a giggle as his own antics.
Jihoon scoffed but it turned into a bit of a laugh too as he nudged off his boyfriend. “You sound like Seungkwannie.”
Seungcheol just huffed, clinging onto Jihoon again with a pout. “Well he’s right and he should say it.” Then he sighed, rubbing his cheek into the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I’m sorry this season has been so brutal. I should’ve warned you about the year-end tax filings.” He squeezed Jihoon tight. “But I’ll get it all done before Christmas so we can just enjoy it.”
“It’s okay, we’re getting through it.” Jihoon gently extracted himself from Seungcheol’s grasp again and straightened to face him, patting the man’s pouty cheek. “I’m working hard, too, so I can ignore it over the holidays.”
“Yeah!” Seungcheol agreed with a whine, wagging a finger down at his boyfriend. “No studio after December 23.”
“Wednesday.” Jihoon agreed with a nod, then turned to go. “I’m off.”
Seungcheol rattled off the usual Be safe text me when you get there don’t stay out too late please don’t overdo it until Jihoon closed the door behind him and was gone, then dragged his hands through his hair with a groan. This period they were in was kind of the fucking pits.
Now that they were one big happy family in this two bedroom apartment, Jihoon didn’t have his in-home studio anymore. He’d found a studio space to rent just a few blocks away instead, and had been an absolute angel adjusting to a new normal of working there during the day before picking up the boys from school and watching them until Seungcheol got home before heading back to finish up his work. Now with Seungcheol having to work later and later, even missing family dinner, they were functioning like two ships passing in the night. But…
We’re getting through it. If Jihoon could keep positive through this, then Seungcheol owed it to him to do the same.
“Daddy, daddy! Look!” Chan suddenly came bounding down the hall from where he’d presumably been playing with the other two boys in their room and struck a pose in front of his father, beaming wide to show off the gap in his two front teeth. “It fell out!!”
Seungcheol felt a pathetic pang in his stomach at the sight. Jihoon hadn’t mentioned it was a front tooth that had fallen out! The immense guilt of being a deadbeat father who was never home with his family and missing their formative years and abusing his poor sweet stay at home boyfriend and sweet, sweet sons with his absence all came flooding back, but he smiled for Chan, lunging down to capture him in a tickle-hug and congratulate him on the milestone, just sure it must be the second tickle attack Chan received today if he knew Jihoon at all.
Christmas just couldn’t come soon enough.
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“Boys, don’t run!” Seungcheol called after Hansol and Chan for about the hundredth time since they’d made it into the store, then sighed as he watched them pivot to playing hide and seek in the clothing racks instead. He led Seungkwan by the hand into the boys clothing section a little faster, just trying to get this done. “Come on Seungkwannie, let’s get you some pjs and then we can go write letters to Santa, sound good?”
Seungcheol had told Jihoon he would take care of getting Seungkwan his matching pajamas while he was at his therapy appointment, but he had to admit that it was a bit of an undertaking to bring three kids to the mall at Christmas time by himself. If having two boys had made him feel outnumbered, three was just - well, he didn’t even have enough hands for them all.
“Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to.” Seungkwan frowned as he followed Seungcheol through the clothing racks, adding, “I heard that maybe Santa’s not real.”
“Oh yeah? Who told you that?” Seungcheol slowed down a little, peeking at Seungkwan out of the corner of his eye but not trying to make a big deal out of it. He pointed a finger down the aisle at one of his running and giggling sons, calling, “Hansol, stay where I can see you!”
“Soonyoungie.” Seungkwan shrugged, and Seungcheol pursed his lips, ready to have a talk with the Yoon-Hongs about that little menace of theirs.
“Well I don’t think that’s very fair of your cousin.” He commented instead, staying on more neutral ground.
Chan suddenly came galloping over and held up a Grinch t-shirt to Seungkwan, giggling, “How’s this?”
Seungkwan just whined and Seungcheol shooed Chan away, warning his son to go put that back where he found it before adding to Seungkwan, “I mean, they can decide for themselves if they think Santa is real, but you can decide for yourself what you think, too.”
Seungcheol wasn’t sure if Jihoon was the type of parent to really push the Santa thing, since some found it to be like lying to your kids, and he was worried this conversation could get into tricky territory if he wasn't careful. They really should’ve talked about this sooner, but it felt like they had more time, if it wasn’t for the older kids’ influence… but really, Seungkwan had always been sharp.
Seugncheol peeked over at Seungkwan again, asking honestly, “What do you think?”
Seungkwan shrugged again, looking thoughtful. Seungcheol could tell there were a lot of thoughts swirling through the boy's head, though he couldn’t imagine what they were. He was a little like his father in that way.
Finally when it became apparent that Seungkwan wouldn’t be offering up any more, Seungcheol petted the back of his head with an encouraging smile, not trying to put him on the spot. “It’s okay, Seungkwannie, you don’t have to decide right away. Maybe you can write Santa a letter just in case, while you think about it.”
“Okay,” Seungkwan agreed with a nod, “Just in case.”
“Good idea, kiddo, just in case.” Seungcheol reiterated, hoping that this had been an appropriate navigation of the Santa conversation and making a mental note that he had to check with Jihoon on that when they got back. As if the mental list wasn’t already a mile long.
They rounded another aisle and finally Seungcheol snatched up a pajama set. “Aha! Here they are.”
“Dad! Dad!” Chan came running up again, Hansol by his side, and the pair both held up more random clothing they’d found while getting up to no good. “This would be perfect for my dog costume!”
The boy held up a fuzzy brown cardigan that was about 300 sizes too big for him, but Seungcheol was more fixated on that other part. “What dog costume?”
“And this might make a good octopus costume?” Hansol held up his fit next, a blue, floor length, sequined skirt.
“What octopus costume? What dog costume?” Seungcheol furrowed his brows, looking between the kids for answers.
“We’re dressing up as animals for the Christmas pageant at school!” Chan explained enthusiastically, lit up as he admired the sweater in his hands and added, “We got to pick whatever animal we want!”
“You guys need animal costumes for your school concert this week?” Seungcheol clarified, looking between the three again and landing on Seungkwan, who confirmed with a nod while busying himself pulling his new pajamas off the rack.
“You could’ve chosen any old easy animal to make a costume for and you chose a — Christmas octopus?” Seungcheol turned on Hansol next, who nodded just as enthusiastically as his brother.
“I chose a cat,” Seungkwan offered with a shrug, the good, sensible child that he always had been, and that Seungcheol wished would rub off on his boys even a little bit. Though even Seungkwan had forgotten to clue him in on this little costume detail — well, at the end of the day, he was still a six year old.
“Okay, thanks for letting me know, boys.” Seungcheol said with a deep breath exhaled through his nose. “Channie and Sollie, go put those back where you found them while I check out with Seungkwan, then we’ll go write letters to Santa. And then we’ll all go to the craft store.”
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“Am I eating too many Christmas cookies?”
Seungcheol leaned back against the kitchen counter to frown down at his belly, as if there was much to see when he was in such an oversized and thick sweater and as if he wasn’t holding a half eaten cookie in his hand.
“You’re eating the right amount of Christmas cookies,” Jihoon reassured him, patting Seungcheol’s belly as he passed him by to pull out the big bowl and dump the bag of popcorn he’d just microwaved into it.
Grandma had come by earlier to bake her usual bajillion Christmas cookies with the boys, which had thrilled newcomer Seungkwan, who seemed awed to encounter this new kind of grown up — grandparent — an adult that not only allows but insists the children eat as many sweets as they want. Seungcheol noticed how Jihoon lurked at the outskirts of the cookie bonanza in the kitchen all afternoon, peeking at his son and Mrs. Choi with one of his usual unreadable expressions. It wasn’t just Seungkwan’s first Christmas with a grandma in the mix, Seungcheol knew.
He was glad that they were finally going to have a little time together now, after a sugar rush of a day and a whirlwind of a week (or month). The boys had been put to bed, the kitchen had been cleaned up, and the pair had decided to actually do something festive for themselves and watch a Christmas movie together.
Seungcheol joined Jihoon in the living room and curled up on the couch, watching as his boyfriend picked out a DVD from the shelf.
“You have a lot of holiday movies!” Jihoon exclaimed, flicking through all the titles.
Seungcheol laughed. “I’m guessing you don’t, since Pixar hasn’t made any.”
“Yet!” Jihoon held up a finger as he sat back on his heels in front of the shelf, finally deciding on a DVD and standing as he added, “I think a Ratatouille 2 set at Christmas is a no brainer.”
Seungcheol threw his head back and laughed as Jihoon popped the DVD in and joined him on the couch. Seungcheol pulled the throw blanket from the back of the couch down over the both of them, then snaked his arms around Jihoon’s waist to pull him close against him, desperate to get his cuddle on. Jihoon squirmed as he got himself situated with the blanket and the popcorn bowl and the remote then settled back against Seungcheol’s chest and hit play on the movie.
Seungcheol had a few handfuls of popcorn as the movie started then just rested his arms around Jihoon, very content to finally be getting some festive quality time in with his boyfriend. They both laughed together at a joke in the movie, and Jihoon shifted his shoulders against Seungcheol’s chest, getting cozy. Seungcheol smiled to himself.
The next thing he knew, he was blinking his eyes open to the cheering and merrymaking at the Christmas wedding at the end of the movie. Seungcheol lifted his head slightly to peer around blearily, confused as to where he was and what was happening before realizing he must have dozed off during the movie. He glanced down and was met with a sleeping Jihoon in his arms, the man’s face tucked into the sweater at the crook of Seungcheol’s shoulder and his lips hanging open slightly as he breathed softly. The music swelled and Seungcheol glanced up to see the credits begin to roll on the screen, and he huffed a little laugh out his nose, exasperated, before leaning down to press a kiss into Jihoon’s hair. He couldn’t believe they’d missed the whole thing! But how could he be mad at a sight like this.
Jihoon stirred against him, sighing, and Seungcheol kissed his head again and pulled him closer as he asked softly, “Hey, how was the movie?”
“The best,” Jihoon breathed groggily, reaching up to rub a hand into his eye as he woke up. He tilted his head back to blink blearily up at Seungcheol, and after a beat, the pair cracked up.
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Twas the night before the boy’s school pageant and all through the house, not a creature was stirring — except Seungcheol, who was desperately trying to get the animal costumes put together and found himself spread out with all his crafting tools on the living room floor by the Christmas tree. It had been hours and seemed like it would still be hours more before he was finished, and Seungcheol wasn’t sure what was doing more of the hard carrying at this point, his hot glue gun or his glass(es) of spiked eggnog.
Suddenly the front door was keyed open, making Seungcheol jump slightly at the disturbance to his workflow, though Jihoon did always make a point of coming in quietly from his late night studio treks.
He appeared in the living room entryway to beam down at Seungcheol, cheeks rosy from where they poked out of his scarf and coat collar, still fully bundled up. “I knew you’d be up.” Jihoon crossed over to pull Seungcheol up off the rug with both hands, who took them with a curious tilt of the head. “Come see.”
Jihoon led Seungcheol to the front door, motioning for him to put on shoes and his coat, reassuring his boyfriend it would be “just for a few minutes”. Seungcheol followed his boyfriend out the door and down the hall onto the elevator where Jihoon hit the button for the roof. When the doors opened onto the rooftop patio and the pair stepped out, Seungcheol knew what Jihoon was showing him.
Snow was drifting down all around them, light and fluffy like in the movies, and beginning to coat everything in a thin layer of white. It was the middle of the night and it seemed like the whole world was silent and still, not even a breath of wind to disturb the gentle dance of snowflakes falling down. Seungcheol stared up at the sky and watched his own breath puff in clouds above his head, then beamed over at Jihoon, squeezing his gloved hand tight.
Jihoon beamed back at him, exclaiming, “The first snow!” He gazed up at the sky again and squeezed Seungcheol’s hand back. “It started on my walk back home just now.”
“If it sticks for a few days, we’ll have a white Christmas,” Seungcheol commented, meandering slowly across the rooftop and taking Jihoon with him by the hand, shuffling his feet a bit into the white blanket to check the slipperiness and how deep it was getting.
“I hope we do,” Jihoon agreed with a nod, swinging their arms a bit where they were connected as he shuffled around too, switching between gazing at the sky and tucking his chin down into his scarf with a shiver.
Seungcheol turned to Jihoon and cupped his boyfriend’s rosy cheeks in his hands, chest tight as he admired his pink nose and the stray snowflakes accumulating in his eyelashes.
But Jihoon chattered his teeth and shrugged off Seungcheol’s grasp with a giggle. “Your hands are cold!” He whined, taking Seungcheol’s ungloved hands between his mittened ones and rubbing. Then he leaned up to kiss him, closing his eyes and humming his satisfaction when Seungcheol kissed him back. Everything was a movie to Jihoon, of course he wanted to kiss in the snow, Seungcheol thought with amusement. When they finally broke apart Jihoon stayed close, looking over his face enough that Seungcheol felt a little extra color come to his cheeks before his boyfriend reached up and ruffled his hair with a laugh. “The snow is all sticking to it!”
Seungcheol laughed too, nudging him, and they played around on the rooftop in the snow for another few minutes until Jihoon started to whine about the numbness of his cheeks and nose. The pair quickly retreated inside, changing into sweats and brewing up some hot cocoa to warm them up before kneeling together by the Christmas tree to finish up the pageant costumes. Well, Seungcheol worked on the costumes and Jihoon sat nearby and wrapped gifts for the boys and occasionally cooed for Seungcheol that he was doing a great job with the glue gun.
When the costumes were getting to the ‘as good as they were gonna get’ stage, Seungcheol sat back on his heels with a huff and dragged a hand through his hair before finally laughing, “I’m realizing, I think we’re both perfectionists.”
“Yeah, definitely.” Jihoon agreed immediately with a nod. Seungcheol just huffed out another laugh.
Considering how much compromising they’d been doing these days, Seungcheol had to admit he and Jihoon were pretty uncompromising . They definitely made things harder than they needed to be - there was no real reason why they needed to be doing so much decorating and baking and crafting and wrapping while also still helping Jihoon and Seungkwan get settled in and adjusting as a family to being a family . No real reason except that Jihoon and Seungcheol were greedy and always wanted their boys to have the best pageant, the best cookies, and the best Christmas ever. Not even just for the boys — Seungcheol wanted the best for himself and Jihoon, too.
“That’s why I like you, though.” Jihoon piped up, in just that way that made Seungcheol a little paranoid that the man could hear what he was thinking, “That’s why we make a good pair, I think.”
Seungcheol’s stomach fluttered. He’d always thought he’d make a great half of a power couple. Jihoon, as always, was making his dreams come true.
“I think so, too.” Seungcheol smiled for his boyfriend, then pulled it into a grin. “I’m gonna need you to say that to me again in the morning after I’ve only had four hours of sleep before work.”
Jihoon tsk ed, expression unsympathetic. “Isn’t it worth it so your son can look great in the pageant?”
Seungcheol just held up his masterpiece for Jihoon and the pair cracked up, then got up to tidy and head to bed.
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“Nevermind, we’re a terrible pair.” Jihoon hissed to Seungcheol as they both struggled to wipe at their tears without jostling the digital camera they were using to record the show from their seats in the auditorium. They had once again set each other off getting all choked up over the children’s holiday pageant, because once Seungcheol started sniffling at the little preschoolers dressed as sugar plum fairies wandering around the stage in what could be loosely interpreted as a dance, Jihoon was tearing up too - and their boys weren’t even on yet. When they weren’t crying they were elbowing each other trying not to laugh at some of the painfully off-key though highly spirited singing they’d been subjected to, hissing to each other “Don’t even look at me!” and “Cut it out, shut up!” until they were bursting at the seams and the other parents around them actually sent them glances.
Of course, all the other parents knew exactly who they were, because Seungcheol had taken the opportunity before the show started and everyone was mingling to introduce himself and Jihoon as partners to pretty much anyone that would hold still long enough to listen. He just wanted it to be clear!, he explained to Jihoon as his boyfriend dragged him away to go find their seats.
When Seungkwan, Hansol, and Chan finally took to the stage, Seungcheol was somewhat relieved to see that they had conveyed the situation accurately to him and his boys weren’t the only ones dressed as random animals for their number. Every kid was in costume, and the stage was an eclectic mix of dogs, cats, lizards, cows, sheep, horses, lions, tigers, bears, and one octopus. Seungcheol’s chest swelled with pride at the sight of his boys in the costumes he’d made for them, clapping on beat and singing along to the guidance of their teacher standing up front. Sure, there were some kids who were staring off into space or barely clapping along, perhaps overwhelmed by the rows of onlookers before them, but not his boys. They knew the drill — they’d been to music camp.
After running through a few standard Christmas songs, the group seemed to be reaching their grand finale, and the teacher announced that this last song was an original of the school’s and would feature Seungkwan from the first grade class as a soloist. As the pianist began the opening chords of the song, Seungkwan made his way down from the rows of students and up to a mic at the front of the stage. He watched his teacher for his cue to come in, keeping time with little nods of his chin, and beside Seungcheol, Jihoon was nodding too, watching just as closely for the start.
When Seungkwan came in with the opening verse of the song, his voice was clear and projected well enough that the mic was hardly needed. He smiled around at the audience as he sang his few lines, a true performer, and with his verse done, the rest of the class came in with the chorus and he returned to his spot in his row. The audience rippled in applause as he turned away from the mic, and Jihoon nodded his approval and gave a little fist pump by his side much in the same way he did when his son scored a point playing volleyball or soccer. Seungcheol beamed and elbowed Jihoon, feeling just as proud.
The song was a cheerful one about the sound of jingle bells being the reminder at this time of year to spread joy, and on the final chorus, the kids all pulled out little handheld jingle bells to shake along with their singing and clapping. When the song came to an end the parents all jumped up to clap and cheer, and row by row each class came to the front and took a bow.
“So there was no reason whatsoever for them to be dressed as animals, just so we’re clear?” Jihoon leaned over to Seungcheol to clarify as they both continued to clap and take pictures.
“Yup, seems that way,” Seungcheol agreed with a nod, and tried not to think too much about the amount of sleep he lost sewing crudely crafted octopus tentacles onto an old hoodie.
After the bows, the children were released to their parents, and the auditorium descended into a cacophony of energetic kiddos running around finding their family, posing for pictures, and chasing after each other, still buzzing from the show.
To Seungcheol’s surprise, when the boys found them in the audience and came bounding over, Hansol went straight past him to Jihoon.
“Jihoon, Jihoon! Did you see the song we did? The Bells one??” Hansol’s eyes were wide and he was vibrating with energy, taking Jihoon’s hand and bouncing up and down with it. “Can you play it on your piano at Christmas?”
Chan perked up at the suggestion and cheered, taking Jihoon’s other hand and jumping up and down along with his brother. “Yeah yeah, I want to do it for grandpa and grandma, you can play it, right Jihoon?”
Seungcheol and Jihoon blinked at each other, then Jihoon shrugged for the boys. “Sure, if you help me learn how it goes.”
“I can sing my solo for grandma, too!” Seungkwan chimed in and Jihoon smiled and patted his son’s head, launching into telling him what a good job he’d done up there.
Seungkwan had caught on quickly to calling Mr. and Mrs. Choi grandma and grandpa like Hansol and Chan did, and Jihoon and Seungcheol figured there was nothing wrong with that, considering Mrs. Choi would be everyone's grandma if she could. What was more of a surprise was Hansol and Chan both remembering Jihoon’s singalong Christmas tradition, having gathered around the piano with him a year ago to sing songs with the Yoon-Hongs at Jihoon’s apartment. Clearly it had made a big impression on them, since the boys were looking forward to and even planning the songs for this year’s celebrations already.
Seungcheol watched the four of them chattering together and smiled to himself, happy they were gaining a new holiday tradition together. He’d figure out how to get a piano to his parent’s house later.
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“Ho ho ho! Santa’s helpers are back!” Seungkwan came barreling in the front door of the apartment, followed by a much slower and belabored Jihoon, who was lugging a huge bag of wrapped gifts with both arms.
“Oof- A little help-”
“Woah!” Seungcheol dropped what he was doing to hurry over and help his boyfriend get himself and the gift bag through the door, the pair working together to get it into the living room and deposited under the tree.
“This is all from Joshua and Jeonghan?!” Seungcheol exclaimed when he stepped back to catch his breath, peering between the giant sack and his boyfriend.
Jihoon had his hands braced on his hips as he recovered from the heavy trip up from the car, but nodded and shrugged for Seungcheol. “Well, since we won’t get together for Christmas.” He turned to head back into the front hall and finish toeing off his shoes and hanging up his coat.
Seungcheol watched him go. “How was the kids’ recital?”
But before Jihoon could answer, Seungkwan came bouncing back in, energized from the outing and with Chan and Hansol in tow, the pair easily drawn in by his excitement.
“It was great!” The boy exclaimed, throwing his hands up in front of Seungcheol for emphasis as he added, “There was snow at the end!”
“Huh? Snow in a concert?” Hansol furrowed his brows, tilting his head at his friend.
Seungkwan nodded enthusiastically. “They sang Let It Snow and then snow really started falling down, Soonyoungie and Seokminnie really had white stuff all over them when we hugged them after the show!”
“Wow, cool!” Chan exclaimed, then instantly switched to a pout. “Why wasn’t there snow at our pageant?”
“Well yours had an octopus,” Jihoon came over to pat Hansol on the head with a little chuckle, “Their show didn’t have anything like that .”
Seungkwan nodded, lips pursed like he was mentally reviewing his cousins’ Christmas concert, going over the pros and cons in his head. “And no Bells song! Our favorite!”
Chan lit up at the mention of the song like he did every time. “We’re gonna sing that at grandpa and grandma’s tomorrow! Right??”
“Of course,” Jihoon patted Chan’s head next, turning to start leading the way back to the trio’s bedroom. “You’ll all have to sing it for me again so I can check that I have the chords right…”
Seungcheol watched them go then turned his attention to unpacking the Yoon-Hong santa-sack of gifts under the tree, pausing to shake the one labeled to Jihoon a few times before deciding it was suspicious enough to be placed up on the mantel away from where any kiddos might get into it. When Jihoon had moved in, Seungcheol had witnessed personally the kinds of “gifts” his boyfriend’s demon friends had given him over the years… (And that Jihoon had kept…)
Well a tradition was a tradition, and Seungcheol appreciated the Yoon-Hongs doing what they could for Jihoon even if the holidays were going to be a little different this year. About a month ago, Seungcheol had found himself cornered by Jeonghan and Joshua while out grabbing his morning coffee one day, which was terrifying for a lot of reasons, only one of which being the mystery of how the pair knew his location at any given time.
They’d asked him about holiday plans, and he understood pretty quickly why this couldn’t simply be done over text like normal people might inquire. Jeonghan and Joshua wanted to know what Seungcheol had planned to do with Jihoon and Seungkwan for Christmas in a logistical way, but the pair were obviously also checking more fundamentally that there was a plan, and that Jihoon and Seungkwan were being properly considered, and what level of involvement the Yoon-Hongs would need to have in all of it.
What Seungcheol had told them must have passed the test, because about a week later when the couples were spending a day at the park with the kids they’d announced to Jihoon and Seungcheol that they’d be spending Christmas with Joshua’s mother. If Jihoon was surprised, he did a good job of simply joining in the couple’s obvious enthusiasm to be visiting Mrs. Hong for the holidays after so many years.
The Lee Family Christmas was in Seungcheol’s hands this year, he knew that’s what the Yoon-Hongs had entrusted him with.
Compromise. This was one of the most classic compromises that all couples faced together: who’s family to spend the holidays with. It was just another “adulting” thing to tackle, like year-end taxes and moving boxes. Seungcheol saw it like that, but he couldn’t help but wonder how his precious brickwall boyfriend was taking it. It didn’t seem like a great sign that Jihoon was finding any excuse to go play music with the boys instead of be in the same room as him.
It wasn’t until after the kiddos were tucked into bed that Seungcheol had a moment alone with Jihoon again. Bedtime had turned into a fairly tedious affair, Christmas eve jitters notwithstanding. Extra time needed to be built in for all the whining and bickering and compromise that came with trying to put three extremely opinionated boys to sleep in the same room when one was too hot, and one was too cold, and one was too wired, and one was too tired, and on and on… sure, Hansol and Chan liked the idea of bunkbeds, but they hadn’t quite settled on who wanted top and who wanted bottom, and Seungkwan hadn’t decided yet if he felt left out or not, though he definitely needed his nightlight and noise machine, which both Choi boys agreed on detesting.
“They’re driving me to drink,” Seungcheol finally muttered after the bedtime war had been won and he and Jihoon had retreated to the kitchen to pour some eggnog and recover.
Jihoon just huffed a laugh as he slunk his way past him into the living room with a quiet, “It’s Christmas eve…”
Seungcheol tilted his head at his boyfriend and followed after him, not sure what to make of the comment. Was he admonishing him, encouraging him, defending the kids’ fussiness, or what? But it didn’t take much to see that Jihoon was a million miles away anyways and probably not meaning anything at all. The man had started busying himself tidying up around the tree, making room for the wrapped presents they had to put out from Santa, and Seungcheol sidled up beside him, joining in setting up Christmas.
They worked quietly together like that, humming along to the holiday music Jihoon seemed to have playing at all times as they pulled the stashed Santa gifts from the hall closet and arranged them under the tree for the boys. It wasn’t until they were satisfied with their work and Jihoon plopped down on the couch to relax that Seungcheol took the opportunity to retreat down the hall to their bedroom and retrieve something, returning to gently hand it over to his boyfriend as he joined him on the couch with a, “Hey. Jihoon.”
Jihoon blinked at the soft ompangi plushie being handed to him and then up at Seungcheol before huffing a shy laugh and taking it from him. He sat back in his seat and turned the little guy around in his hands, peering down at it as he finally spoke up. “Sorry, I’m not unhappy or anything. I’m just zoning out. It’s just…”
He squeezed at the plushie’s face as he considered his words. Seungcheol sat back patiently, prepared to listen. It was amazing every time how well this tactic his therapist had taught them worked. Being handed the ompangi plushie simply meant, “Talk to me.” It was easier that way for Jihoon rather than feeling put on the spot if Seungcheol was direct, and it gave him something to do with his hands while he found his words, too.
“I guess it felt a little weird seeing Jeonghan and Joshua at the pageant, and knowing we won’t get together tomorrow.” Jihoon finally confessed, peeking up at Seungcheol to frown. “We’ve spent Christmas together for a long time now... And it’s not that I don’t want to go to your parents, it’s just…” Jihoon dropped his gaze back down to the plushie in his hands, swallowing a few times before falling on the word he wanted, “Different.” He shook his head. “I’m… Not used to…” He swallowed again, trailing off, the words out of reach again.
Seungcheol could imagine there were too many things Jihoon wasn’t used to to even pick: grandmas; Christmas cookies by the millions; triple the amount of kiddos — which meant triple the amount of gifts to wrap, and Christmas pajamas to fold, and pageant costumes to make; his son sharing a room; Jihoon never being alone in a room for more than a minute anymore; and no home studio to slink away to…
“None of it’s bad,” Jihoon jumped in, possibly reading Seungcheol’s train of thought, and blinked up at him to show his honest expression as he reiterated, “But it’s a lot of change at once. I worry about…” He dropped his gaze back to ompangi, giving it one more squeeze before setting it aside with a sigh, “...Seungkwan handling it all.”
Seungcheol nodded. Yeah, he got what Jihoon was saying. Possibly even more than Jihoon did. He reached over to take Jihoon’s folded hands in his own, squeezing tight. “Hey, I hear you that it’s not easy blending our holidays together, there’s some things we do differently and I don’t want what’s important to you to get lost in the fray.” He shook his head sincerely. “But I also think that you’re really going to like spending Christmas with family, my parents and I are going to take care of you so you can just enjoy your time with Seungkwan and everyone.” He squeezed his boyfriend’s hands again with a warm smile. “And eat a lot of food.”
Jihoon huffed a little laugh, peeking up at him through his eyelashes. Seungcheol took the opportunity to lean down close, meeting his boyfriend’s eye. “You trust me, right?”
A satisfied warmth spread out from Seungcheol’s chest at the way Jihoon nodded right away and blinked up at him as he answered, “Of course I do.”
They had come a long way. Seungcheol would never squander or compromise away such a precious thing.
“Thank you.” Seungcheol put an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders and squeezed him tight until his boyfriend laughed, reiterating with a laugh of his own, “I promise I won’t let you down.”
Jihoon laughed again and sighed, relaxing against Seungcheol’s side now that the weight of his words were off his chest.
Seungcheol relaxed too, satisfied with the conversation, and nudged Jihoon with a little grin instead. “Speaking of trust, what are the odds your gift from those two will be family friendly, do you think?” He nodded at the wrapped gift up on the mantel and when Jihoon spotted it he made a face.
“Let’s just bring that to our bedroom.” He sighed, defeated. When he spotted the sideways look Seungcheol gave him at the suggestion he shoved his shoulder, sputtering, “Not like that!”
Jihoon moved to jump up and make a run for it but Seungcheol caught his waist and pulled him back down onto the sofa. “Not so fast, Mister Clause!”
Seungcheol leaned over to grab a plate from the end of the coffee table, selecting a Christmas cookie from the pile and holding it up for Jihoon as he explained, “Santa wouldn’t stop by without sampling the cookies the boys left out for him, would he?”
Jihoon chuckled and rolled his eyes at Seungcheol munching on the cookies before jumping in to help, following his boyfriend’s lead and taking cartoonish bites out of the cookies to leave behind some Santa evidence for the boys in the morning.
“Are we being perfectionists again?” Jihoon asked around a bite of cookie, and Seungcheol laughed.
“Maybe so, but we don’t have that many years left of Santa duty — I think Seungkwan is figuring it out, no thanks to his cousins.”
Jihoon sighed. “Yeah, Seungkwan is sharp…”
Seungcheol observed Jihoon was about to go deep into his thoughts again and stood, setting the half eaten cookies back out on the table for the boys to find and making his way over to the mantel. He grabbed the suspicious gift and shook it lightly, shooting Jihoon a mischievous look. Seeing he had his boyfriend’s attention, Seungcheol began to sway his hips in a dance that was somewhere between sexy and silly as he made his way back towards the couch, singing in an overly sultry voice, “Santa baby…”
“Stop!” Jihoon cut him off as immediately as Seungcheol had anticipated and it made them both crack up. Seungcheol crawled onto Jihoon’s lap and laughed again at the way Jihoon grunted and divided his efforts between shoving Seungcheol off of him and snatching the gift out of his hands.
“You’re being— naughty!” Jihoon huffed as he successfully got out from under Seungcheol and grabbed the gift on his way onto his feet, ears and cheeks going red at his own joke.
Seungcheol took one look at him and cracked up, grabbing his sides. Jihoon huffed again and crossed his arms, still keeping the mysterious and no doubt nefarious package close to him and away from Seungcheol as he reasoned, “We have to get to bed, everyone knows the whole house has to be asleep or Santa won’t come.”
“Oh, I think Santa’s gonna come.” Seungcheol grinned as he shuffled to catch up with Jihoon heading for their bedroom and slung an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders, though he was immediately shoved away with a disgusted grunt that only made him laugh more.
♪♬｡*ﾟ*∘˚˳°✧‧❄☃❄°✧*∘˚｡*ﾟ*｡♪♬
Seungcheol actually slept. Deeply, undreaming, both a miracle with his insomnia. So deeply in fact, that Jihoon was gently petting the hair away from his sleeping face for a few moments in the morning before Seungcheol blearily blinked his eyes open. He pulled his eyebrows together in confusion — where was he, what day was it, had a Christmas angel floated down from heaven into his bedroom? — which made Jihoon giggle.
“Good morning, it’s Christmas,” Jihoon breathed, voice softer than a whisper as he gently explained the situation for his apparently confused and more than half asleep boyfriend. He wiggled up the pillow enough to reach Seungcheol’s lips with a light kiss, feather light, as if it would help at all with the Christmas-angel-from-heaven confusion.
“Merry Christmas,” Seungcheol managed to rasp out, clearing the sleep from his throat, though his voice was still deep in his chest as he asked, “The boys aren’t up yet?”
Jihoon shrugged, Seungcheol felt it against him as the man supplied, “A Christmas miracle?”
Seungcheol wasn’t about to squander a miracle. “Five more minutes,” he declared, snaking his arms around Jihoon’s middle to pull him closer against him and digging them both deeper into the blankets.
Jihoon giggled again but it dissolved into a sleepy sigh, and the pair instantly went limp again, too warm and cozy to fight off the sleep.
It really was just about five more minutes before the kids came barreling in.
“Santa came! Santa came!”
With the power and energy of five more minutes now under their belt, Seungcheol and Jihoon threw themselves right into it: New Christmas, blended Christmas, with someone to wake up next to and tag team entertaining the boys while pulling on a robe and pouring a cup of coffee, someone to help snap the perfect picture of the moment the kiddos see that Santa ate up all the cookies they left out for him, and a shoulder to lean on in the quieter moments while perched on the couch together watching the boys open gifts.
New Christmas was taking turns to open gifts so moments weren’t missed between the three excited boys, and blasting Jingle Bell Rock between every other Christmas carol. It was Christmas cookies for breakfast along with cut up orange slices from their stockings. It was a new piano song book for Hansol that color-coordinated to his favorite rainbow keyboard, new light up sneakers that Chan had begged for to wear to dance class, and a new, matching Frozen -themed, blue fur-lined coat and boots set for Seungkwan.
“It’s a perfect fit,” Jihoon said with relief as he finished helping a gasping, wiggling, cheering Seungkwan try them on, shooting a thankful look at Seungcheol who had encouraged him to size up so they could last a little longer.
“Yay! Yay! Look at me!” Seungkwan was completely overjoyed with his gifts and how good they looked on him, and how perfectly they matched, stuck in a kind of shoulders-knees-and-toes dance as he petted at the fur lining of his hood, and his boots. Even Chan joined in petting at the fur, looking intrigued.
“Can we go play in the snow?!” Seungkwan turned back to his dad, eyes wide, whole body buzzing with the possibility of getting to take his Frozen set on an immediate test run.
“Uh, well…” Jihoon nibbled his bottom lip and peered uncertainly up at Seungcheol after glancing at the clock, knowing they had to get over to his parents’ place.
But Seungcheol just gave an enthusiastic thumbs up, as much for Jihoon as for Seungkwan. “Sure we can, let’s go!”
The boys cheered and the apartment turned into a flurry of bundling everyone up and herding out the door, so it wasn’t until the boys were set loose on the deserted rooftop patio to play in the few inches of snow that had accumulated there that Seungcheol found an opportunity to circle back with Jihoon on the little looks he was still peeking at him.
“Aren’t your parents waiting on us?” Jihoon finally voiced, mittened hands clasping together and apart continuously, unsure.
“It’s Christmas, Jihoon, we can do whatever we want. Of course I’m not gonna tell Elsa over there ‘no’ on Christmas!” Seungcheol squeezed a reassuring arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, rubbing his arm warmly to try and shake away his boyfriend’s fretting. “My parents won’t be mad, they wouldn’t even mind if we don’t make it over there at all. Except that we’d miss out on my mom’s pie.”
Seungcheol kept his tone light because he could only imagine the kind of dark thoughts that could be fueling Jihoon’s parental worries . This was New Christmas, he wanted to reassure his boyfriend. Any experience he’d had before with parents on the holidays wouldn’t be this.
“Okay.” Jihoon answered meekly as he swirled one of his boots in the snow, staring down at his feet.
It was humbling, Seungcheol knew. Vulnerable, opening up his little family of two’s holidays, allowing it to be shared. Different, even if it was good. Seungcheol took Jihoon’s mittened hand in his own and squeezed it tight.
“I’m okay.” Jihoon lifted his face to smile for his boyfriend and huffed out a sheepish laugh, his breath clouding in front of his face from the cool air as he admitted, “I think I’m just greedy for this time we have together. I’ve been kinda missing you…”
Seungcheol instantly felt warm despite the winter air, and he knew his cheeks must have gone red cartoonishly fast judging by the way Jihoon laughed again at his expression.
“I have another gift for you later.” Jihoon added with another little squeeze of his hand, and he looked so bashful that Seungcheol spared him the eyebrow wiggling and elbow nudging. He had a feeling he knew what it might be, because he was possibly the most spoiled and loved musician’s boyfriend of all time.
Instead Seungcheol nodded with a little grin of his own, agreeing, “I do too.” Then he tugged Jihoon in the direction of the playing kiddos, adding, “Now if we hurry, we can jump in on verse two of the Let It Go performance happening over there!”
Jihoon wasted no time hurrying over to jump in with Seungkwan’s very enthusiastic performance, providing backup harmonies and vocalized instrumental swells as necessary. Seungcheol dove in with Hansol and Chan who were providing the special effects, which mostly meant throwing armfuls of snow in the air and in the directions Seungkwan waved his arms in between giggling and hitting each other with snowballs. The performance was eventually interrupted when Chan refused to freeze when Seungkwan waved his arms at him, pretending to dodge the magic with his own provided swishing sounds as he jumped around.
Seungkwan finally huffed, stomping his new little fur-lined boot in the snow. “No! You’re supposed to be frozen, I froze you!”
“Well, you missed me!” Chan cackled, running a circle around Seungkwan and then off across the patio. “You’ll have to catch me, first!”
Seungkwan lunged for the boy’s hood as he passed but missed and took off after him, still attempting to shoot him with his ice beams.
“Not too fast, you two!” Seungcheol called after the pair, throwing himself in as referee.
Hansol, apparently less interested in the Frozen -turned-freeze-tag, returned to a line of little snowmen he’d been working on at the edge of the patio.
“They’re a family,” He explained when Jihoon came over to crouch and watch him work. He wrapped his mittens around a mound of snow to make a ball, then another, stacking them together, and using his thumb to poke eyes.
“Who’s who?” Jihoon asked, tilting his head curiously at the line of little guys.
“They’re all brothers,” Hansol answered without looking up from his work, eyebrows furrowed in focus.
“What about a daddy? Want to make a bigger one?” Jihoon offered, pointing to more snow piles that might make it possible.
Hansol sat back on his heels to peer up at Jihoon, then back at his snowmen, thinking about it a moment before turning back to Jihoon. “This family’s just brothers.”
Before Jihoon had time to unpack what Hansol could be getting at — if anything?? — the boy suddenly looked inspired and got back to work, forming another identical little snow guy in the line, but this time, adding a little bit of extra snow on each side of the head.
“That’s their cat.” Hansol declared with a nod of satisfaction at his perfect little family of five snow brothers and a snow cat. Jihoon tilted his head at the art piece and finally took out his phone and snapped a photo.
When the kids were out of snow to play with and their noses had frozen red it was time to head inside and thaw out. Everyone changed out of their snow gear and into their matching pajama sets, and as each person came into the kitchen to retrieve their to-go cup of hot cocoa, Jihoon would freshly crack up at the sight.
“What — are you kidding!” Seungcheol exclaimed dramatically when he came into the kitchen and saw three (really four) giggling boys in their patterned pjs just like the ones he was wearing. “Now one of us is gonna have to change!”
“No, it’s perfect!” Jihoon waved his hands in protest between throwing his head back to laugh.
“Let’s go show grandpa and grandma!” Chan clapped his hands together and Seungkwan and Hansol agreed with a cheer.
They were enthusiastic enough to help Seungcheol and Jihoon gather the bags of cookies and presents and get everything down to the car together, and they were off. Jihoon video called his brother on the drive to wish him a Merry Christmas and was floored to see Bumzu pick up the phone wearing the same pajama set, which was a huge hit with the back seat boys. Then they lost it all over again when grandma and grandpa answered the door also in the patterned pajamas.
Laughing and hugging and kissing hello led straight into group photos taken in front of the tree — a smart move to get it done right away because then the boys were off, Chan and Hansol very excited to show Seungkwan around the big house and where their playroom of toys could be found. Seungcheol and Jihoon greeted Seungcheol’s brother and his wife, who was tending their baby daughter that was fast asleep in her car carrier. The trio had come to grandpa and grandma’s for an earlier visit and were on their way out, but not before Seungmin gave an apologetic and giggling Jihoon hell for not clueing them in on the pajama memo and Soyeon gently fended off a grabby-handed Seungcheol from scooping up the sleeping baby. Jihoon and Soyeon worked together to get a good photo of the Choi family in front of the tree for them, and then the trio were off.
Grandpa and grandma wasted no time in calling the boys back and kicking off gift opening, and Seungkwan seemed as equally intrigued as delighted to learn that Santa somehow had left some gifts for him here as well as the apartment, just as was the case for Chan and Hansol.
“Yup, I told him we’d be stopping by here today, so if he forgot to leave any gifts for you at home he could leave them here, too.” Jihoon explained easily to his son, since as Seungcheol had come to learn, the man did not have any moral issues whatsoever lying to Seungkwan about Santa. He paid attention to Jihoon’s lying face and mannerisms, trying to learn anything from it, but chillingly and as he already knew, the man was too good at it.
“So I really have more presents to open?” Seungkwan eyed the pile of gifts under the tree that the Chois were beginning to close in on, then he shook his head. “Wait, but — how did you tell Santa that?”
“Yup, there’s more gifts for you,” Jihoon confirmed, skipping over the second question as he took Seungkwan by the hand to lead him over to the tree, “Want to see what Santa brought?”
Even the most discerning child like Seungkwan couldn’t resist presents and he quickly joined in with Chan and Hansol opening gifts for grandma and grandpa who were cheering and taking pictures. Seungcheol and Jihoon snapped pics together from the couch, too, enjoying getting to sit back a bit and just watch their kids being kids. They also opened a little something of their own from grandma and grandpa: matching knit hats and scarves, and a customized ornament printed with a photo of the boys at summer music camp that was dated, and read Campfire across the bottom with little music notes.
“For your song!” Mrs. Choi exclaimed as Jihoon turned it over in his hands, as if he would need reminding, “I thought it was such a precious memory!”
“Thank you,” Jihoon smiled for her, a little choked up, and Seungcheol nudged his boyfriend with a laugh.
After that, the flow of food began and never stopped. There was the sit-down proper Christmas meal, but there was also chips and dips and bread rolls and rangoons and mini sausages and tarts and cookies and fruit and nut bowls tucked away seemingly on every surface of the house, not to mention the homemade pies, and the bowl of punch, and the Irish cream. Seungcheol had actually never seen the bottom of Jihoon’s appetite in all the time he’d known him, and he’d never seen his mom’s hosting ability truly put to the test, so it was a fascinating sight to watch the pair circle around each other in perfect harmony, his mother refilling cups and plates and offering bites to try constantly, and Jihoon gladly taking them all with a smile and many compliments to the chef.
Eventually though, Seungcheol had to step in. It was finally time. The boys were rotating between dozing on the couch and munching cookies in front of the TV playing Christmas movies, and Jihoon was looking similarly droopy-eyed from his curled up perch in the arm chair, occasionally sipping at his glass of Baileys and smiling contently at the boys, the Chois, the tree, the snow outside…
Seungcheol made a beeline for his boyfriend from where he’d been in the kitchen and chuckled at the state he found him in, gently prying the glass out of his hand and setting it on the side table as he asked, “Before you go too crazy on these, want to take a quick drive? My mom asked me to go pick something up.”
“Sure,” Jihoon shrugged, allowing Seungcheol to pull him to his feet and checking back at the boys over his shoulder as he was led to the door. But the kids were fine and the pair easily pulled on their coats and made their escape, giggling a little like they got away with something as they shuffled to the car and pulled away.
It was a quick drive, and the pair rode in comfortable silence, holding hands loosely over the car console and staring out at the snowy night. Seungcheol eventually took his hand back, afraid Jihoon might feel how hard his heart was beating, and pulled into a neighborhood with rows of townhouses on the edge of the city. One house had an empty driveway and he pulled in, hopping out and crossing over to take Jihoon’s hand and lead him up the front steps.
Jihoon looked over at him in surprise when Seungcheol didn’t knock or ring the doorbell but just opened the door — which was unlocked — and went in. He continued to look surprised when inside was completely vacant, and their footsteps echoed on the wood floors as Seungcheol flicked the light on and led the way into the center of the apparent living room.
“Cheol, what are we doing here?” Jihoon asked, eyebrows pulled together.
Seungcheol took his hand back to turn and face Jihoon, rubbing at the back of his head sheepishly. “You like it?” He was a mix of nervous and excited as he fished in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, offering them out to his boyfriend. “Welcome home, Jihoon.”
“What?” Jihoon went wide eyed and he stared between Seungcheol and the keys being offered him, finally reaching out slowly to take them in his hand, hesitant, like they were a foreign object to him.
“Yeah, I uh, I bought us this townhouse.” Seungcheol nodded rapidly, too keyed up and nervous not to let it all out, maybe there was a more articulate way to explain it all to Jihoon, the version of this that he’d been daydreaming about the last few weeks, where all his words were perfect and Jihoon understood instantly, but he just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“There’s an extra bedroom for Seungkwan, and a room for your studio, and obviously it’s close to my parents so they can help out with the boys more, and it’s closer to Jeonghan and Joshua, too, I did the drive already, they’re right down the road.” He gulped, eyes rapidly searching Jihoon’s face for any indication of what he was thinking, of what he was feeling, as he continued to make his case, “There’s a garage, a backyard, nice big kitchen — it’s got everything we need.”
He paused to catch his breath and let Jihoon speak, who just stared up at Seungcheol, hand still frozen with the keys.
“This is real?” Jihoon squeaked, eyebrows still pulled together, and Seungcheol gulped again and nodded.
“I hope…” This was the scariest part, and Seungcheol rubbed at the back of his neck again, blinking down at his feet as he got it out, “I hope it’s okay I did this without you.” So many late nights, financial paperwork, endless tours and negotiations. He’d shielded Jihoon from all that, that had been his instinct, but there were times he wondered if it was the right thing to do.
Seungcheol raised his gaze again to look at Jihoon, taking his hand as he tried to explain, “I could tell it just needed to be done as soon as possible. You’ve done such an amazing job of fitting your and Seungkwan’s lives into mine these past few months. You deserve space of your own. And I didn’t want to burden you with the details.”
Seungcheol squeezed Jihoon’s hand tight, and it seemed to bring the man back down to earth from wherever he’d gone, the pair locking eyes as Seungcheol promised, “If you can just hang in there a little longer, this is the last move you’ll have to do for a long, long time, okay? You’re home.”
Seungcheol allowed himself to revel in it, memorizing the feeling of the moment, how charged it was in this entirely empty house alone together, staring at each other and seeing their future stretched out in front of them, one solid, clear line. This was Seungcheol’s one chance to see what Jihoon’s reaction would be to getting surprised with his first home, and yeah, Jihoon’s wide eyed, mouth-opening-and-closing-uselessly face was kind of priceless. Mister Brick Wall who? Jihoon might as well have been wearing his heart on his Christmas pajama sleeve.
After a long time of trying and failing to find what to say, Jihoon finally broke out into giggles, somewhere between nervous and hysterical. Seungcheol laughed too, acknowledging how kind of absurd this was of him to do.
“Are you crazy?” Jihoon nudged him, still laughing, but all at once it dissolved into tears streaming down his face, and he was crying. Seungcheol still giggled along even as his heart ached a little for his boyfriend, though he wasn’t surprised the tears had come. Jihoon shuffled closer, reaching out for Seungcheol, not trying to hide his crying face, but just needing to be closer.
Seungcheol gladly pulled him into his arms, commenting with a teasing chuckle, “No, I think what’s crazy is us having to share an underwear drawer.”
Jihoon laughed wetly from where he’d pressed his cheek into Seungcheol’s shoulder, muttering, “Perfectionist…”
“Maybe.” Seungcheol conceded, leaning his chin lightly atop Jihoon’s head. He smiled to himself. “Man, I can’t believe I ever thought you were cold. You are the world’s biggest softie, Jihoonie.” Even as he said it, Seungcheol was choking up, too. It was finally sinking in: Jihoon was standing here in the living room he’d painstakingly picked for them, and he wasn’t running away. He was leaning in. He was reaching out and holding on to Seungcheol. That had to be a good sign of his feelings, right? Had Seungcheol really done it? Did he get to have this life with Jihoon — the home, the family, and the partner? Oh. Yeah, Seungcheol was crying, too.
It was more of a misting versus Jihoon’s waterfall of tears, and Seungcheol was able to giggle and pet and coo his way through his boyfriend’s sobfest, meeting all the incredulous questions that Jihoon managed to choke out — Did you really? Is this really? All those nights? — with gentle affirmations, yes yes yes, Seungcheol had done all that, and he had done it for him.
The moment Jihoon was able to catch his breath from crying he took a step back enough to try and blink up at Seungcheol through his teary eyes, and gulped several times like he was going to get these words out if it killed him. Seungcheol wiped at his own tears and offered his boyfriend a watery smile.
“Cheol, I don’t know what I can say, really, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. Thank you so much for always taking care of me and Seungkwan.” The man reached out to take both Seungcheol’s hands in his own trembling fingers, holding on tight and taking a shaky breath. “It feels lacking just to say I love you, but I really, really do. I just don’t know how I’ll ever pay back all the love you’ve shown me…” He hung his head, shaking it, and Seungcheol left like he could really see the weight on Jihoon’s shoulders, how much he burdened himself thinking he didn’t deserve this life, as if he wasn’t an honest, kind, patient, and loving person to everyone around him every single day.
Seungcheol squeezed Jihoon’s hands, making him look at him so he could smile warmly for him. “You pay me back every day just by being there, Jihoon. Just keep showing up and letting me love you.” He hoped Jihoon could see how earnestly he meant what he said. Seungcheol would say it every day for the rest of their lives until Jihoon knew. “I love you too. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas…” Jihoon’s voice wobbled, bottom lip starting to tremble, and the reminder that it was Christmas sent him right back over the edge, fresh tears welling up in his eyes and spilling over. Seungcheol laughed and pulled Jihoon into another bear hug, swaying them together and pressing a few kisses to the top of his silly tenderhearted boyfriend’s head.
He allowed Jihoon to work out some more of his big feelings, waiting until the man was sniffling pitifully against his chest before leaning down to quirk an eyebrow at him with a grin. “Now, you mentioned earlier that you had another gift for me,” Seungcheol commented, tilting his head at Jihoon. “It’s not another house, is it? I hope you kept the receipt…”
Seungcheol cracked up laughing at Jihoon’s face, which was stuck somewhere between mortified and wanting to laugh, too.
“Oh my god, no, it’s nothing, it’s really nothing,” Jihoon stepped back to wave his hands in front of him and shake his head, backpedaling majorly, “It’s just a song, I’m sorry, it’s nothing compared to this …” He waved his arms around at where they were standing.
Seungcheol planted a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder and squeezed. “Hey, your music is not nothing. Buying you a house was the only way I could ever compete with the beautiful music you make for me.” He tilted his head at his boyfriend again, encouraging, “Can you sing a little bit of it for me?”
Seungcheol watched Jihoon step back a little to try and compose himself enough to sing, swallowing around the lump in his throat and wiping at his wet eyes, but his bottom lip was still wobbling, and finally Seungcheol laughed, throwing an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and squeezing tight. “It’s okay, Jihoonie, you can sing it for me later. Howabout I show you around a bit before we head back to the boys.”
They were building a life together.
They had demonstrated how good they were at it already — at fitting together, at compromise — and now they had this home to serve as the foundation they needed for the new family they were forming. A year ago, looking over at a tipsy, giggling Jihoon on his couch by the Christmas tree and realizing that he was ready to ask the man out, Seungcheol could never have believed where they would end up today. Jihoon had added so much love and joy into Seungcheol’s life already — he didn’t know what next Christmas would look like for them, but he was looking forward to it. And the Christmas after that, and the next hundred Christmasses, too.
“No, I can do it — I’ll sing the chorus.” Jihoon gulped and nodded, straightening up to do it properly, then shook his head slightly with a shy laugh as he added, “The song’s kind of — taken on new meaning, now…”
He sang very softly, clearly shy to have no instrumental behind him and voice still a little wobbly from crying, but he got through the chorus just to give Seungcheol a preview:
What do I do? Without you
My heart has no home
I’ve kept my insides empty for you
Things might seem hard
But I’ll always be here
So don’t think too difficultly
'Cause I'm your home, home, home, home
♪♬｡*ﾟ*∘˚˳°✧‧❄☃❄°✧*∘˚｡*ﾟ*｡♪♬
“We were just getting the keyboard from the car!” Seungcheol announced with a giggling Jihoon as the two of them carried his piano in the front door of the Choi’s house and were met with cheers from the boys.
They worked together to set it up by the tree, moving quickly as the boys were vibrating with enthusiasm to get started and already beginning to loudly sing and dance around the room. Grandma and grandpa laughed along, not knowing what exactly they were in for, but they soon found out once Jihoon was settled on his chair in front of the keyboard and shaking out his fingers, preparing to play.
“Okay, any requests?” He asked with a grin, practically keeling over from the wave of “THE BELLS” that was screamed at him, and he clapped his hands together once and dove into it without further ado.
The boys cheered and then hushed to allow Seungkwan to perform his solo, the boy turning to grandma and grandpa on the couch and singing for them with a smile just as he had at the pageant, which the pair absolutely ate up. Chan and Hansol came in with the chorus, and Seungcheol hummed along a bit, too. He was amazed that Jihoon was playing a song he’d only heard one time a few days ago. Sure, the boys had sung it for him a few times since, but only as best as five and six year olds could. Jihoon was only proving once again that he was not only an angel, but an angel of music.
Seungcheol stood by the keyboard and rubbed his boyfriend’s back with his palm as he played, jumping in to sing along on the ones he knew once they’d gotten Bells out of their system. Hansol and Chan were right after all: this might be their new best Christmas tradition. There was nothing like the feeling of everyone singing and laughing together by the tree, the kiddos and his parents and Jihoon. The singalong attendees might change year to year, but the shared joy was the same.
Seungcheol couldn’t believe Jihoon thought he was lacking in what he could give to him in their relationship. Jihoon had given him everything. Seungcheol had gotten the house, but Jihoon was what would make it home.