Chapter Text
"Steel and leather..."
The voice hummed, louder than any conversation around the table. Lucan is' companions around him were muffled and distant, as all of his focus was on spite and trying to minimize the spirits shenanigans. Lucanis sat between Rook and Bellara, who were both equally engaged in conversation with the others. usually the crow got away with little spouts of disassociation to keep spite at bay, but recently they and Rook had been spending more time with Rook... and when he wasn't around they'd spend time thinking and talking about him.
"I want to smell their hair. they've just washed it. The soap,"
Spite’s manifestation stuck their face between Lucanis and Rook's, demanding their host to look at them before giving up and twirling around to stand behind Rook himself.
"I can just barely smell it.”
Lucanis tightened his grip on his fork, closing his eyes as he resisted Spite’s urge. The two mostly lived in an understanding with one another, trust had developed between them but spite still wanted things. They still argued and bickered when Lucanis gave push back. Mostly, that pushback was about Rook. and their shared infatuation with the warden. Spite was ever eager to give in to every urge they felt, and Lucanis, well... He was more reserved and nervous to do more than make eyes and do favors for him. At a certain point, it was almost impossible for either of them to tell the difference between who's feelings on desires were who's.
The urge to stand and stick his nose into Rook’s hair made Lucanis stiffen again, resisting Spite made his stomach turn. Internally, he hushed the loud spirit and tried to force himself to take a bite of the food in front of him.
"I think it's Antivan - he changed his soap for us. Lucanis, I want-"
"Lucanis?"
Rook's voice ripped Lucanis back from his thoughts and his focus from Spite all together.
"I'm sorry?"
Lucanis responded in confusion. As he regained his bearings, the crow quickly assessed how quiet the table was. A quick glance around also made him realize that everyone was looking at him expectantly, which understandably made him uneasy. The whole back and forth between himself and spite had made him so unaware he should be embarrassed to call himself a professional assassin at this point.
"I had just asked if you had use white button mushrooms for the meat substitute?"
Emmrich spoke up, who repeated his question with his usual patience and a knowing smile.
"Ah, yes, I picked them up at the market the other day- I remember you mentioning enjoying them."
Lucanis returned the smile for the sake of politeness. Spite had manifested again, purposefully staying in Lucanis' line of sight despite the man's efforts to ignore them now. He remembered Emmrich could hear the spirit as well.
"Oh, yes! I'm touched you would remember a passing comment like that."
"Enough food talk, I want to talk to Rook."
Both spoke at the same time, causing their words to jumble into nonsense, all Lucanis could do was manage a guess as to how he could respond.
"Well, you know me- food is quite important."
Seemingly happy with that, Emmrich turned to continue another conversation with Bellara and Neve. Relief was quick to come and go as Rook's sudden touch to his wrist brought Lucanis' attention to the other in an instant. Even with Spite suddenly leaping off the walls, the spirit ceased all efforts to pull their host's attention. Lucanis could not differentiate who was feeling what when Spite did this. It was like the Spirit was suddenly in the passenger seat instead of everywhere but. This was what terrified Lucanis when it came to giving into their feelings for Rook.
"Is Spite giving you trouble?"
Rook spoke softly, leaning in closer so no one else could hear. Spike's heightened smell bled together into Lucanis, allowing him to smell exactly what they had described earlier. It made his hair stand on end. The way Spite heightened his senses was truly something powerful, and as equally frightening. How easy it would be for Lucanis and Spite to hurt him, a spirit of passion was not something to overlook. Lucanis glanced down at Rook’s hand, the other man's warmth was enough to set his own skin ablaze. He tensed his jaw to maintain composure.
"We're just disagreeing on something. It’s nothing to worry about."
Rook’s hand didn't move, not that Lucanis wanted him to move it - it was just how distracting his touch was. Lucanis could feel Spite buzzing in his head, making his own body heat up. He wanted to reciprocate, but his own inner turmoil resulted in him just sitting stiffly.
"You’re sweating, Lucanis. Are you sure?"
Concern grew in both Rook’s expression and tone. his thumb brushed over Lucanis' wrist as a sign of reassurance, but the effort only made them burn hotter.
"Kiss him."
Spite's voice returned even more desperate now, the gravel in their words spiked every syllable. Lucanis' eyes dropped down to Rook’s lips. They were shaped so perfectly, even when they were pressed into a frown. Lucanis couldn't stop himself from imagining the exact image that Spite was encouraging. How they would feel against his own, what it would be like to part Rook’s lips and dip his tongue into his mouth. Lucanis was sure if he were a mage he would have burst into flames just at the thought.
All the Crow could do was nod, cotton mouth caught any response he could have come up with. He was at the other’s mercy, and there was no way Rook even realized. Lucanis broke his focus in favor of reaching for his drink, the water helped, thankfully. A roar of laughter turned both Lucanis and Rook towards the conversation, Taash slammed their fist on the table to emphasize their recount of such a funny encounter the last time they were out on assignment.
"I swear, and then Lucanis swooped in and just wiped the whole blight cluster right off the map!”
“Even after I called dibs on it."
Davrin added with quite the amused smile. It was nice that the team always made an effort to include everyone in the conversation. No one was ever left out or forgotten about, it was incredibly thoughtful... even if it wasn't always wanted, like right now. The last thing Lucanis needed was more attention on himself in this state. Another brush of Rook's thumb over his wrist was the final nail in the coffin. He needed to remove himself before Lucanis snapped into the feral animal that Spite so desperately wanted to be.
Lucanis stood abruptly, pulling his arm away as he did so. Feigning composure, Lucanis forced a polite smile and glanced around at his companions,
"Please, excuse me."
As quickly as he could manage to, Lucanis hurriedly left the dining room.
Being outside helped, not as much as it would have if they weren't in the fade - but it was better than the situation he was in before.
"Running away, AGAIN!"
"This is never going to work with you like this."
Lucanis shot back, not even bothering to speak internally. No one else was around to hear him talking to himself. Spite's manifestation appeared in front of Lucanis for a more genuine conversation. Shared frustration twisted both their features to mutual frowns.
"Why not?"
"Because -"
Lucanis pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. His jaw tensed, trying to differentiate his own feelings and spites.
"Because you need patience and self-control”
He knew how ridiculous he must have sounded, telling the embodiment of spite to learn self-control, but a conversation needed to happen nonetheless. Before Spite could manage a retort Lucanis interrupted them, motioning between them.
"The understanding between us must go deeper than just letting me control my body. I want what you want, but we could hurt him.”
"Hurt? No! we wouldn't.”
Spite clenched their fists at his sides, they were quite calm though despite the earlier protests.
"We don't want to, but we could if you lose control - or if I lose hold and you take over- how could he feel safe?"
Spelling everything out for the spirit appeared to actually get through to them, or at least got him to take a moment to think.
"We wouldn't hurt Rook. We protect him. He is ours."
Lucanis was about to correct them when Rooks voice turned him around.
"Lucanis?”
Instantly, Spite appeared over Rook’s shoulder, eyes looked onto the man's face.
"Talking to our dear spirity friend?"
"Ah, yes... we're just working something out."
Lucanis couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face. Even through the stress, Rook was always a comforting sight. Lustful desires aside. Sometimes all Lucanis wanted was to fall into Rooks' arms. Somehow, Lucanis felt the simple act would cure all his problems.
"I hope I haven't caused a rift between you two."
Rook wrung his hands nervously.
"No, no, nothing like that- you haven't done anything wrong."
Lucanis reassured, crossing the remaining distance between them. A mixture of steel, leather, and a familiar Antivan soap filled his nostrils, though he tried his best to not let a thought linger on it. He let himself reach and take Rook’s hands, feeling a surge of excitement from his passenger. Rook was taller than him, but for a moment he seemed smaller and what clicked for Lucanis made him share the insecurity between them. Lucanis had been so fixated on keeping Spite in check, the way he had been behaving around Rook was cold and borderline neglectful.
"Rook, I want to apologize to you,"
He squeezed Rook’s hands, looking down at them as he drew in a self-composing breath. When their eyes met again he managed to give his most genuine apologetic look.
"I have been abhorrently neglectful and rude to you- and even with my problems with Spite, there is no excuse for me to treat you the way I have been."
"Oh, Lucanis, you don't have to-"
Rook began, gently tugging himself closer to the other, but Lucanis insisted further.
"No, it's true, and I need to be able to work through this with Spite and not drag you just barely along. You deserve more than that and I want to do better for you."
Lucanis felt a release, as if Spite had been pressing all their weight onto his shoulders and then suddenly let off. Maybe they understood? Lucanis hoped. He knew there would at least have a conversation about it later.
"I appreciate that."
Rook accepted, despite the clear looks in his eye that held the same as he had with his initial push back.
"For what it’s worth, I think you are great company.”
The pair smiled at each other, although they were quite small and timid, they were happy at least to accept each other's efforts. Lucanis felt a blush grow up from beneath his collar the longer they smiled so closely together. Tension grew quickly between them, and with that came the nerves. Ever since the ossuary intimacy, physical intimacy especially, was exceptionally difficult for Lucanis. At times, Spite's obsessive nature made this worse - a conversation the two have had before but getting them to understand was a different story. Rook inched closer; their intertwined hands being lifted towards his chest. Lucanis could feel his breath catch as his eyes looked to Rook's lips. They were a mere distance away. Everything in him wanted to close the gap, especially Spite as he could feel the spirit begging too. But he couldn't do it himself. Even with all the breakthroughs and progress he's made with himself and with Rook’s help, there were still times he struggled. Pleading eyes pulled away from Rook's lips back up to meet the man's unwavering gaze.
"Rook..?
Lucanis hesitated. unbeknownst to him, Rook could feel the tremble in his hands and without another thought, Rooks lips were on his.
For a moment, there was nothing else in the world. but each other. In an instant everything was Still, silent. Calm. Rook was warm, his lips were like velvet and ever inviting as Lucanis returned the kiss tentatively. The move was shocking, but the other was ever patient, gentle, giving more than enough space for Lucanis to break away, but he didn't. The great Demon of Vyrantium melted into a Grey Warden, A hand moving from Rooks in favor of reaching for his cheek to deepen their kiss. Rook sighed in agreement, abandoning Lucanis' hands to take his hips instead and pull their bodies together. Desire burned through Lucanis' core and reached something deep within himself. For the first time outside of combat, he felt spite as one with himself. His wings sprouted, wrapping themselves around Rook. Parting to breathe, Rook couldn't help but smile at the sight. The purple hue around them brightened as Lucanis settled,
"Are you happy now?"
He spoke towards the spirit, earning an amused laugh from Rook who squeezed them closer together. The light emanating from their wings pulsed brighter.
"That's definitely a yes."
Rook mused as Lucanis turned back to him. They were both blushing, cheeks flushed as the two basked in the moment.
"You don't mind them?"
Lucanis asked, feeling Rook's hands move around his hips towards his lower back. It made Lucanis' Stomach flutter.
"Not in the slightest.”
Rook replied definitively. They started to sway slightly.
"you're two separate people to me, but also one- if that makes sense... maybe it doesn't, but it does to me. I care about you both-and I want this to work for both of you."
"Mine! mine! I want to kiss him again!"
Spite shouted, they were practically jumping up and down in the back of Lucanis' mind. The feeling was deeply shared, but Lucanis held back for a moment longer.
"I think we're in agreement."
Lucanis replied, feeling Spite give a push towards Rook's lips despite his resistance. He had to bite back the urge, which was noticed by the other.
"I definitely need to talk with Emmrich and see if there's a way for me to be able to hear Spite like he can."
Rook leaned back in as he spoke. Lucanis held his breath as it became increasingly difficult not to give in again.
"I'm dying to know what they're saying."
"You think you want to hear them, but I don't think either one of us would ever get another word in."
Lucanis joked back, unemotionally lurching forward from another jolt thanks to Spite.
"Kiss him, Lucanis, I want more!"
"what're they saying?"
Rook's grip tightened to steady the other, his head tilted with a mixture of intrigue and amusement. Having to say anything like this at all only made Lucanis blush more- he felt like a damn teenager, it was ridiculous.
"Um, Well..."
He laughed, stealing a glance down to Rooks lips again.
"They seem very intent on kissing you again."
"Oh, just them?"
Rook teased, leaning in to steal a kiss though both couldn't help but to linger. Spite wanted to speak, he could feel them bubbling up in his throat-it always felt like an intrusive thought that he had no control over saying.
"You taste better than you smell.”
Spite's voice spoke through Lucanis' mouth, not uncommon, but the remark itself brought a mutual shock to their host and Rook.
"Wow, Spite, tell me how you really feel!"
More laughter between them only encouraged the spirit further - and it seemed to Lucanis they were hell bent on embarrassing them both.
"I'd like to taste-"
Lucanis slapped a hand over his own mouth, biting the meat of his palm before Spite could finish their sentence. A moment of upset with eyes squeezed closed in concentration, Lucanis fought internally until he was able to drop his hand. He and Rook slowly parted.
"I think it would be best if I turned in for the evening."
Lucanis said finally, and Rook agreed. Despite the faint awkwardness between them, the mutual excitement and infatuation was palpable. It was reassuring, to simply be accepted for the awkward situation of sharing a body and mind with another. He knew spite had never even had a relationship before- they were a damn spirit, the only life experience they've had has been tied to Lucanis. One could only hope that they would be able to adapt and learn along with their crow. At least it was new for all three of them.
-
"Hate swamps, they smell of rot and mud.”
Spite's complaints surged adrenaline and anger for both themself and their host. They, Rook, Emmrich and Davrin had set out to the Hossberg wetlands after Antoine and Evka had sent word about a darkspawn and blight outbreak. More and more outbreaks seemed to be popping up, which was a concern in of itself, but this one in particular stock out. Two ogres and what felt like a small army of Hurlocks and bursting darkspawn poured out from an uncomfortably large cluster. The group had taken most of the corrupted creatures down, but the ogres seemed to be rather. challenging while there were still other darkspawn to deal with. Lucanis had taken to the skies to provide support with an advantage.
"The sooner we take care of this, the sooner we can leave.”
Lucanis grumbled back. his eyes scanning the battlefield for another opportunity to dive. Davrin and Rook were fighting side by side-forming an impenetrable wall as Emmrich stood further back from them offering ranged support. Another circle around, and another, then, an opportunity arose. An Ogre turning its back to grab a rather large boulder, Lucanis dialed in immediately. He landed heavily on the creature's shoulders and plunged both blades deep into its neck. Roars of pain shook Lucanis' eardrums as the beast swung around. clawed, blighted hands grabbed and clawed for the crow. Dodging the best he could, Lucanis docked his head and dropped his legs down its back to flatten himself as best he could manage. It wasn't until several blasts of necrosis seared into the ogre's chest did the beast drop, finally allowing Lucanis to push back off,
"Nice work guys!"
Rook’s voice fell away as the rogue flew back up into the sky.
"Mine! mine! It was mine!"
Spite's voice forced its way out of Lucanis' mouth, gritted teeth and tensing muscles surged even more adrenaline throughout their body.
"Again, we have to go again! Find another!"
Both voices contorted together as the crow grew more eager, demanding a true kill. It was nearly impossible for either to know where Lucanis ended and Spite began. The power that the spirit wielded was indescribable, it granted confidence in Lucanis' prowess and skills, but there was always room for error.
Spite dove back down, rage and momentum building until the abomination impacted the second ogre. Blades gliding through blighted leather-like flesh down the ogre's back and clean through both shoulder, the momentum and force jerked the beast backwards with a rage dying along with it.
"Lucanis!"
Emmrich Shouted urgently, but the warning was too late as everything happened too quickly. The ogre fell backwards, flat, with Lucanis beneath it.
Everything went dark.
-
"He's coming to."
Emmrich echoed distantly. magic seeped deeper into Lucanis' body, soothing, healing magic. Purple eyes blinked open and darted around. Emmrich was beside them, Davrin further back, and after another moment of regaining their senses, Spite realized their head rested back against Rook’s chest.
"Spite.”
Rook signed in relief, fingers pushed through Lucanis' hair and moved several loose strands from his forehead.
"Is Lucanis still in there with you?"
"He's sleeping."
Spite answered, sitting up more. Dizziness made them sway slightly, only stilling again when Rook's hand steadied their shoulder.
"The ogre is mine. Where is it?"
"You got it. Took the damn thing down with yourself."
Davrin budded in, he was pacing and keeping a safe perimeter. It didn't matter. Spite didn't pay too close attention to him, or Emmrich for that matter. Spite growled in disappointment,
"No satisfaction.”
"You're 2- 0 on all of us for ogres."
Rook laughed, Spite turned enough to look at him. They seemed more disgruntled than anything else.
"The first one didn't count he stole it from me!"
Spite jabbed a finger towards Emmrich.
"That was a joint effort, the kill is just as much yours as it is mine."
Emmerich retorted politely, though anyone would know that the score of the battle was rather low on the list of things the professor cared about. It seemed to appease the spirit anyways.
"You did awesome, seriously.”
Rook reassured. The mage continued to cast some sort of magic towards Spite and their host.
"Quite so, and they continue to amaze. It appears that Spite's life force is actually healing Lucanis at an accelerated rate."
Emmrich added, withdrawing his efforts soon after. A hand smoothed up Lucanis' back, affectionately but also to check for any injuries that hadn't healed just yet. Spite instinctively leaned into Rook's touch, not even realizing why there was so much concern. They couldn't see the state Lucanis' body was in. They were covered in muck and blight, and blood had began to dry in their ear. The bruising in various places across Lucanis had already worsened and then eased as if someone was fast forwarding their recovery.
"It seems so, but we should get back to the Light house anyways. The blights dealt with here, let’s not waste time.”
Rook helped Spite to their feet, there was a considerable difference already, but concern was foremost in Rook's mind.
"The professor and I can report back to Antoine and Evka while you get Lucanis back to home-base?.”
Davrin circled back around, exchanging hods of agreement with the others. The group traveled back to the Grey Warden out post together, which took longer than it had to get out there in the first place. Not only was Lucanis' body still healing, but Spite seemed to be more affected by the situation than expected. There were noticeable changes in the spirit the longer they and Lucanis co-existed. More 'mortal’ sensations and desires manifested within the entity. A sense of humanity had developed, a rather warped and twisted version of humanity. A spirit of determination was never supposed to be more than that. Yet here they were. Many of their desires and interests stemmed from Lucanis; yet it was their own as well. Their passion, lust, infatuation for Rook was just as real as Lucanis; but did it only develop because of their host’s feelings for him? Would they have developed it on their own without him? or was it a coincidence?
Battle was a different feeling. Similar to love when the rush of adrenaline flooded into their host, but there was rage, bitterness, a challenge. The desire to dominate. To protect. But on the edge of losing the fight? Fear. Fear of being the cause of Lucanis' death but also the risk of never seeing Rook again.
Somehow, Rook seemed to know something was wrong. A touch on the small of their back brought Spite's head to him, looking up from the path they walked along.
"What are you thinking about?"
Rook spoke softly, the others were ahead far enough that they probably wouldn't even hear at a regular volume. The spirit blinked, unsure of how to even respond to such a genuine question. Normally, their behavior resulted in rejection and chastisement from others.
"Nothing, and everything. I can't explain."
Spite's voice graveled, despite the still animalistic rumble they were
uncharacteristically gentle. Calm. The intensity of their passion was held in their gaze alone.
"That's okay. How about Lucanis? Your bruising seems to have gone away."
Rook's hand started to burn, in a good way. They didn't want him to move it, ever.
"Sleeping still, everything hurts too much for him to wake."
"Well, it’s good he's sleeping then. It's not hurting for you?"
Their bodies brushed so consistently together; it was gradually becoming more distracting. Spite hadn't looked away from Rook.
"No, and yes. It hurts, but it hurts less because Lucanis is sleeping. Healing. Once he feels better I will sleep."
Rook nodded understandingly, gently sliding a hand up between their shoulder blades and then back down again.
"Well, when we get back to the lighthouse you both can rest at the same time. I'll watch over you guys until you feel better."
The rest of the trek was rather uneventful, the mission had been a success, but the energy was drained. The lack of happy banter and conversation always happened when a member of the party takes a hit. Especially with such a close call. Davrin and Emmrich parted from the other two when they reached the fort, heading straight for Antoine and Evka while Rook and spite returned to the Lighthouse. It was rather silent. Everyone else was still busy out on various assignments. The lack of other souls made home feel foreign, empty. It could have been worse though. Rook was beside them, and his presence alone ensured the spirit's needed security. The walk from the mirror to Rook's room was long, but not necessarily in a bad way. Spite slipped their hand into Rook’s. Their fingers slotting together perfectly. It made Rook look over, but in his surprise there was a smile. Spite liked his smile. They almost liked it as much as his laugh, but either weren't as rich and satisfying as they are when Spite is the cause of them. They selfishly wanted more. Spite walked confidently again, but they were quite tired. Much of their energy was depleted due to how extensive Lucanis wounds were. Rook pushed the door to the study open, letting Spite in ahead of him.
"Start taking off your armor and boots, I'm gonna get a bucket and cloth to help you clean off all that dirt and shit."
Rook instructed, Spite begrudgingly let go of his hand to listen. It wasn't very long before Rook came back, bucket of soapy warm water and a few cloths in hand. Spite had just about stripped down to nothing but their underwear, thankfully they left Lucanis' undershirt on.
"Blight and Rot."
Spite practically spat at the pile of clothes and armor on the stone floor.
"Smells like death and anger."
"I know, it's disgusting."
Rook agreed, he spread out a towel on the floor and gently guided Spite to stand on top of it. A flush had reddened Rooks face, and the man seemed to avoid letting his eyes linger on the other for too long. Spite wanted him to look more. Spite watched as the man submerged a cloth into the water, then lift it out to squeeze it. Strong hands, large enough to kill - Spite knew they could, they've watched him do so, but seeing them so... gentle. Intently focused on Rook, the spirit let him wash their host’s body. It was quite enjoyable, especially to have Rooks complete attention for such a long time. They liked the scent of the soap, the sensation of the cloth smoothing over their Skin, feeling Rook so closely. There was a long time between conversation, it was simply peaceful. A fresh cloth was used for Lucanis' face and hair, and somehow it was the most intimate part of the whole endeavor. Rook tentatively held and moved Lucanis' face as needed, still trying to avoid eye contact while Spite’s eyes were unrelenting.
"Your hands burn deeper than fire.”
Spite remarked, stepping off the towel and closer to Rook- wetting the floor. Rook blinked at them, hands stilling for a moment.
"I'm sorry?"
Rook looked like a deer frozen, as if his heart had just leapt from his chest.
"Your hands."
Spite repeated bluntly.
"Your lips too. They burn me.”
Rook lowered his hands from Lucanis' face, swallowing thickly. His gaze flickered down to their lips. Spite mirrored him, almost copying the way he tensed and moved his shoulders.
"In a bad way?"
Rook hesitated, the tension was growing worse. Emotions were high, naturally, after what had just happened, and now Lucanis - Spite- was in their underwear, damp and holding eye contact as intensely as one could manage.
"No, it’s thrilling. I want more of it. Lucanis does too, when he’s awake."
Spite's lips curled into a mischievous grin, somehow his teeth looked sharper when the spirit was in control: their eyebrows arched more and their shoulders seemed broader. They made Lucanis look like a completely different person, which they were, of course, but it was odd to think that Lucanis and spite coexisted..
"Well, that's nice."
Rook chuckled, then cleared his throat. Before he could put more space between them though, Spite had reached and taken ahold of Rooks sleeve. Pulling him in and kissing him. It was feverish, as if Spite was chasing something within Rook. The warden's hands moved to take their arms, tightly, readying to break away, but he didn't. Not immediately, anyways.. It wasn't until Spite grew ambitious enough to press their tongue into his mouth that Book finally forced them apart.
"By the Maker, Spite..."
Rook panted, his lips swollen from the attack. He nearly had to plant a hand in the middle of Spite's chest to keep them in place.
"We can't do that without Lucanis here.”
His denial earned a rather displeased groan, Spite pushed against Rook's hand. Their mouth creased in their upset,
"Why can't we?"
Spite relented, they would only listen to Rook the first time being asked or commanded. No matter how badly they wanted to push on. To take what they want.
"Because it's still his body, it's still him. And I need both of you to want it. And be present."
Rook explained gently, lowering his touch to move away.
"Besides, you both need your rest right now.”
He removed his own outer wear, tossing it in the same pile he had tossed Lucanis', and then gathering some sleep clothes for both of them. After they both changed Rook pulled out a blanket and set them up on the expansive sofa that Rook had been using as a bed since they started using the lighthouse as a base of operations. Initially, Rook was simply going to sit on the floor beside them and read a book, but spite had asked particularly convincingly for Rook to hold him instead. Rook laid back, allowing the other to use his chest as a pillow. He was soft to lay on, much softer than the cot Lucanis normally slept on, and incredibly warm. Spite buried their face into Rook's chest more and drew in a deep breath, letting his scent seep into every part of their being. They could smell so much more of him when they were like this, they could also feel so much more of him. Their legs tangled together and Rook wrapped a secure arm around their back to hold them in place. The thrum of Rook's heart sounded much like Lucanis; but in some way Rook’s soothed the spirit. It disarmed them. Like a guarantee they were truly safe with him. They didn't even realize when they fell asleep.
-
Brown eyes blinked open. The world around himself formed once again, though the quite large gap in memory concerned Lucanis. He remembered the fight, and the Ogre, but then nothing. Just darkness, and now he was in Rook's room... and lying on Rook's chest. Lucanis hand rested in front of his face, palm flat, slowing rising and falling with every breath Rook took. Anxiety bloomed in his stomach at the endless possibilities that could have happened during the length of his black out.
Carefully, Lucanis lifted his head to look around at the situation he was in. Rook was asleep, his free arm supporting his head and his face turned into where Lucanis had been resting. The blanket still wrapped primarily around Lucanis, and then he noticed he wasn't wearing his own clothes. Spike's presence was no where to be seen, leaving Lucanis feeling oddly exposed.
"Uh, Rook?"
Lucanis croaked out, his throat scratched and honestly it felt like he had just woken up from a coma. The Sound of Lucanis' voice stirred Rook the moment he spoke, his legs shifting to stretch out with a bum,
"Hey there, sleepy head."
Sleep was also thick in Rook’s words. He smiled, and brushed his hand through his bed head before letting it join his other on Lucanis' shoulder.
"How're you feeling?"
Lucanis eased more, but this predicament was still dizzying. This image of Rook alone felt like he had stumbled into a dream he's had, but this was real. Lucanis could feel the other’s warmth, their bodies pressed so closely together, borrowing Rook's clothes.
"Ah, I'm not sure, to be honest."
Lucanis answered, looking around more.
"What... happened?"
"What was the last thing you remember?"
Rook's features were soft; his eyes scanned over Lucanis, studying him, as if Lucanis was about to fall apart right there in his arms. Something drastic had happened. Clearly. And that alone was terrifying. Lucanis' tongue darted between his lips, wetting them before responding.
"I know we were out in the wetlands, helping the wardens with some blight outbreak. Spite and I were working on picking off dark spawn...”
He recalled the situation, and along with that was how hyper focused he and Spite were on killing the biggest beast on the board. How he let himself be egged on by them,
"We went after those ogres, and I know I got the second one then nothing."
Rook nodded along, there was something else in his eyes that Lucanis couldn't quite name. He could feel the man's heart beat faster, his breaths were deeper. self-calming.
“Uh, yeah, the damn thing fell right on top of you. It took all three of us to get it off of you."
Rook huffed out a laugh, but it was hollow. His smile dropping briefly.
"Spite woke up once Emmrich started trying to revive you, but there was a while where we weren't sure if you come back or not.”
The conversation stilled between them at the significance of what happened. Lucanis had let himself get careless, taking too many unnecessary risks. He would be dead right now, over nothing. His blood felt cold, guilt seeping into the bottom of his stomach; Lucanis pulled back to sit up, Rook did the same. The blanket was moved off of them and draped over the back rest of the couch. Moving, he was still sore, stiff in his back and Shoulders, his body felt as though he had just ran an unbearable marathon.
"I'm sorry for putting you through that.”
Lucanis looked down at the clothes he wore, fingers fidgeting with the material of his shirt. It was something he would never wear for himself, but the fact that it belonged to Rook made them so comfortable. Rook moved to sit closely to him, an arm supporting his weight behind Lucanis.
"Lucanis?
Rook's closeness made the crow's heart ache, the sick in his stomach turned. There were a million reasons that he should break this off and walk out of the room at once. He should be better than this, he knew he was. And yet he still put himself in an unnecessary situation that resulted in his own death.
"Lucanis?”
Rook repeated, but it wasn't until he turned Lucanis' head that he returned from his thoughts. Their eyes met with equal worry and guilt.
"Don't apologize for this."
He cupped Lucanis' cheek, a thumb brushing over the peak. Rook's touch was unbelievably gentle, it almost made the other burst into tears right then and there.
"We don't get lucky like this just for us to throw it away with blame. Shit happened, and you're okay- you have no idea how relieved I am that you are."
Lucanis didn't have the words, they stuck in his throat to choke him with things he couldn't even describe if his life depended on it. He leaned deeper into Rook's hand until Rook pulled him into his chest. Arms wrapped around each other as they fell into a long silence.
As things seemed to ease, the two parted enough to look at each other.
"Spite behaved quite well, by the way."
Rook's tone shifted to something lighter, his crooked smile tilted at the corner of his mouth despite the upset that was still vibrant in his eyes.
"Define ‘behaved’.”
Lucanis raised his brow, trying to not bring attention to their hands intertwining in his lap.
"They were calm, and they listened to me - granted they were using pretty much all of their energy to heal your body."
Rook looked down, drawing a deep breath to maintain his smile. He continued lightheartedly.
"After I got you cleaned up they came onto me and kissed me."
"They did?"
Lucanis' eyes widened, embarrassment darkened his cheeks,
"Mierda, Rook, tell me that was all that happened."
"Yes, don't worry. I gave them clothes to change and then they asked to hold you guys as you slept."
Rook reassured,
"I stayed awake for as long as I was able, but once I knew you were safe and healing I just Couldn't help it."
"you're sweet for doing that. And thank you... for taking care of me.”
Lucanis squeezed Rook's hand gently, letting himself focus on their touch. Rook was larger than he was, which wasn't a bad thing nor a surprise as Lucanis wasn't exactly the tallest man in Thedas. It was an assessment, which along with many other things needed to be now that things between them were growing more serious. Getting emotionally involved was yet another rule broken, but it seemed that rule breaking was Rook's specialty.
"I know you would have done the same for me."
Rook replied, his thumb brushing over Lucanis' knuckle.
"Now, what sounds good to eat? I'm starving."