Work Text:
It’s a lot to take in. It always is. Sydney’s never been good with emotions. All he’s ever known is hiding away, like a frightened bird. He knows one thing. He’s not okay; that’s for sure. It’s hard to be okay in a state like this. But he’s here, and he’s breathing. He’s alive, and that’s more than enough for right now.
The forest is calm. It’s empty. Still, he clutches a mirror in his hands. Reflective glass framed in faux gold, a beautiful thing with horrible intent. It’s a late-summer evening. The air is crisp, the sun is setting. Golds and pinks shine through the gaps in the trees, coming down like an angel from heaven. Does it hurt when you fall from such a distance? Did it hurt when Elijah fell from the pyre? The deepest parts of Sydney hoped it did.
The trees go on forever. It’s nostalgic, almost. This was the forest he and Jedidiah hid in as kids. Back when the moon would sing lullabies and the sun would kiss their foreheads. It was horrible; how he lived back then. But a tiny part of him, deep down in his coronary sinus, he missed it. He missed the humble innocence of those times. When he wasn’t afraid to climb trees and get a bit of dirt under his nails; back when he still could. When he’d wear hand-me-down crochet hats and make flower crowns. The world was brighter back then, you don’t appreciate all the hot pinks and oranges until they’re replaced with grayscales.
Sydney’s never been the type of person to want a lot. He needs a lot, sure. But all he ever wanted was to be loved. Was that so much to ask for? Love, with no ulterior motives. Other people seem to find it so easy, so why can’t he? It’s not a lot, just forever.
There were breaths of life everywhere. From worms crawling around in the dirt, to birds soaring in the pink slurry of a sky. The bracelets on his arm were made by campers. Laughing, having fun, with dirt in their hair, like Sydney used to be. So free; nature still looked upon them and smiled. Unmolded clay, every opportunity was held on a silver platter just out of reach, awaiting for them to take it. All he could do is pray it wasn’t taken from them, like his was.