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“Oh,”
Gem is eighteen the first time she notices- or at least, the first time she notices and remembers. She’s on the floor of her best friend’s living room, stretching after a three-mile run, and the more she stares at her outstretched legs, the more she wonders how it took so long to see it.
“Oh? What d’ya mean, oh? ” Pearl asks from the kitchen.
Gem shimmies a bit on the floor, just to make sure her hips are straight. Just to make sure what she’s seeing isn’t some kind of illusion.
… yeah, no. Not an illusion.
“One of my legs is longer than the other one,” she says.
“Oh, what?”
Gem looks up as Pearl leans over her, brown hair tickling her face. Pearl stares at Gem’s legs.
“Yeah, that one’s definitely longer,” Pearl agrees. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t notice until just now. Guess I’ve just never stared at my legs.”
Gem huffs, not quite sure how she feels about it. Does it mean anything? Probably not; the body is rarely symmetrical, after all. If anything, it’ll make a great fun fact for parties.
“Well hey, now when people ask you for a fun fact about yourself, you can tell them about this!” Pearl exclaims, her hair framing her bright smile.
Gem smiles back, any hint of nervousness fading away. “You read my mind.”
After her discovery, nothing really changes.
Until it does.
The change is gradual- sparks of pain when she runs that she’d never noticed before, an ache in her hip when she stands in one place for too long.
Gem ignores it, for the most part. The pain is never too awful, fading quickly with some stretches or painkillers. Pearl buys her a new pair of running shoes with softer soles, and Gem learns to shift her weight from side to side when she’s standing. She learns to ignore the pain.
It’s nothing to worry about. It’s manageable.
Until, one day, it isn’t.
“Should we get some of those cakes you like?” Pearl asks. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
Gem knows it’s her fault. Her hips and leg are aching today, more than normal, and she’s been a little snappish. She shouldn’t be. Pearl just wants to help her feel better.
“Sure,” Gem says, trying to smile back. “I’d like that.”
Pearl’s grin is genuine, but it lacks its usual brightness, and Gem just feels numb. Pearl weaves through the crowd and heads toward the frozen aisle, presumably to find a box of the little cakes Gem fell in love with the last time they came here. Gem watches her go.
The store is small, and they came during the evening rush. Gem doesn’t even try to keep up with Pearl, lagging behind as she vanishes into the crowd of people huddled around the freezers.
Gem hisses as a shock of pain runs up her right leg and into her hip. It’s been like this all day- she worked a long shift with few breaks, and it’s starting to catch up to her. There’s a noticeable dip in her stride whenever she puts pressure on her right leg and Gem prays Pearl hasn’t noticed.
Through the crowd, Gem can see Pearl reading the ingredients on the box of cakes.
Gem takes two steps into the freezer aisle, and then the pain hits.
Gem had gotten shin splints before, from old running shoes that needed tossed. She’d wrecked her bike and gotten a bruise the size of a grapefruit all across her knee.
None of it compares to this.
The pain is so sudden and overwhelming that before she can even process what’s happening, Gem is sobbing in the freezer aisle of her local grocery, unable to take a single step.
Someone lays their hand on her arm, and Gem looks up to find a middle-aged woman standing next to her. Gem attempts to wipe away her tears, but they just keep coming and coming-
“Are you alright, dear?” the woman asks, her concern clear.
Gem can barely focus on anything but the pain. She manages to nod, promising the woman she’s fine even though there’s no way anyone is going to believe her right now.
“Gem!”
Pearl reappears at Gem’s side, and instantly, Gem is sobbing again, curled against Pearl’s chest like a child against their mother. Pearl hugs her close and pets her hair and whispers confused, empty comforts into Gem’s ear, and guilt swirls in Gem’s chest like a searing heat.
"My leg, it hurts so bad-"
"Oh, Gem..."
Pearl had wanted to help her feel better. Pearl had been trying so hard to help her feel better.
But nothing was working.
Her leg hurts, her hips hurt, and nothing was working-
“We’re going to the department store,” Pearl says firmly. “We’re going to get you a knee brace and a lift for your shoes, and if the pain doesn’t go away, we’re going to the doctor.”
Gem had never even considered a knee brace. She hadn’t thought she’d needed it.
But Pearl’s words leave no room to argue, so Gem doesn’t.
Pearl walks her to the car, their groceries abandoned inside the store. Pearl drives them to the department store even though it’s late and they have to be up early the next day, and she takes it slow with Gem as they walk to the pharmacy section where the athletic supplies are sold.
Pearl helps her pick out a knee brace and Gem puts it on in the department store bathroom while Pearl fiddles with her left shoe, pulling out the insole to fit a floppy rubber lift beneath it.
The pain is still there, even with the brace and the lift, but Gem feels better nonetheless.
Pearl drives them home, and Gem falls asleep in the car.
The brace and the lift don’t solve everything, but Gem doesn’t know what she’d do without them.
Most days, the pain is as manageable as it ever was. She still gets the sparks of pain when she runs or steps too hard, and her hips still ache when she forgets to move them.
But the brace helps. She can feel how it supports her knee, how the pressure of it heats her skin and soothes the subtle ache she feels so often. And the lift helps, too, balancing out the length of her legs so the gap isn’t so obvious. Gem feels the difference when she forgets to use it.
And through it all, Pearl is there, with a heating pad and painkillers and a smile.
Gem couldn’t ask for anything more.