Work Text:
Today 8:37 am
Timbit: @bigbird, is the amusement park plan still on?
Demon Spawn: @drake of course. Why would it not be? Do you not wish it to be?
Timbit: @annoyingmosquito are you Dick? I didn't think so.
Timbit: And Idk i'm just making sure. I still wanna do it but smth might have come up idk
You: @timbitlikethedonuthole, knowing @d!ckhead, he's prob been up since 2 planning how to make it the perfect day
Timbit: @gothams_resident_zombie, then why isn't he responding?
You: Prob fell asleep again
Timbit: I'll give him a few mins then call him.
Timbit: If we're not doing this today then I got smth to do
Demon Spawn: Like what?
Timbit: None of your business
Demon Spawn: If you would rather be doing something else, then you are welcome to not join us today @drake.
Timbit: u wish u could get rid of me that easy
Timbit: @bigbird, still waiting for an answer btw pls be quick
Today 9:04 am
Timbit: @bigbird, u there? Last call b4 I potentially wake u up with a phone call
Today 9:12am
Timbit: @gothams_resident_zombie @annoyingmosquito he didn't answer and I called twice. Either of u know if smth happened?
Demon Spawn: I know nothing of any current problems in Blüdhaven and he has not informed me of any.
Timbit: I don't want to be asking, but we were supposed to be leaving at 10ish so @annoyingmosquito can u try calling? He'd prob answer your call more than mine
Demon Spawn: He did not answer.
You: @timbitlikethedonuthole stop worrying, he'll show up and if he doesn't I can go drag his ass from his apartment if u want
Timbit: appreciated @gothams_resident_zombie but we can wait until 10:30 before drastic measure
Timbit: speaking of Jay, what time u coming over?
You: Was gonna meet u there at like 11 tbh
Timbit: ur coming tho right?
You: if @d!ckhead ever shows his ass yeah
Jason frowned at his phone, swiping up the group chat to see if there were any new messages but there were none.
He couldn't care less about the actual trip. Dick had planned a day at the amusement park for the four of them, and Jason had been debating whether or not to go since the plan had been made a week ago. He knew Dick was mainly doing it as a weird apology or something, the first time they'd all be able to hang out since he'd come back but he wasn't off to a great start.
He checked the time at the top of his phone.
10:13am
He shot a text to Tim to see if Dick had shown up by any chance and just forgotten to let them know when he left.
Timbit: No. I called again but he still didn't answer
You: How's the Brat?
Timbit: trying not to look like he's watching the driveway
You: Give it another half-hour
Dick was starting to take the ghosting thing a little too far. There was the possibility that he'd just got home from patrol extra late last night and was still sleeping, but he'd been the one to make the plans so it was a stupid move if that'd been what had happened. Of course, there was the possibility something worse had happened to their brother.
He sent a quick text to Oracle to see if that might be the case. Even if it wasn't, she had access to the security in and around Dick's apartment so she should be able to give him something.
The Smart Redhead: gimme a sec
The Smart Redhead: looks like he got home late but not super late or anything. Can't see inside and he's not still wearing his suit. Not answering my call either, sorry
You: Thanks anyway Babs
No point him going to the manor or the amusement park now if he wasn't sure what was going on. He might as well start doing some chores he'd been putting off and check later.
Today 2:01 pm
D!ckhead: shit sorry slept though my alarm and just woke up
D!ckhead: we're still doing this just not today guys so sorry
D!ckhead: does friday work? @little_d you don't have school that day and @ceobro I don't think you have anything major at WE
Demon Spawn: @richard are you unwell? Why did you sleep through your alarm?
Timbit: I have one thing on fri but I can push it to mon
D!ckhead: @little_d I'm okay Dami, just had a busy night
D!ckhead: @ceobro great as long as it's not too much of a hassle
Timbit: it's one small meeting that I didn't want to do anyway
D!ckhead: @littlewing does friday work for u?
Jason stared at his phone.
It wasn't that he was mad their plans had been postponed. It didn't even count as blowing them off, really, because he'd remade the plans so he couldn't be mad at that. It wasn't even that Dick had lied, made excuses to them - well it was that but not right now.
It was the fact that Dick had made Tim and Damian wait for five hours. It was the fact that Jason knew how much the two had been looking forward to it - Damian because he'd felt like he'd missed out on a lot while he'd been dead himself and Tim saw this as an opportunity to try and amend things with Dick because the poor kid didn't want to be mad at his oldest brother but he was. It was the fact that Jason knew that and he wasn't sure Dick did when Dick was supposed to be the older brother.
Except all of that had changed, hadn't it?
Dick had died and come back. They'd lost their oldest brother, mourned him, had to find a way to manage without him holding them together, only to find out he hadn't actually died and had been lying to them, staying away for months.
Then he has the audacity to come back and just assume everything will be alright and they can just go to the amusement park like nothing happened, like for a few months Jason didn't have to be the oldest brother without having someone supporting him. Like he stepped up for nothing. Like he wasn't mourning too only to find out one of the few people he'd finally begun to care about and have a good relationship was gone, having only just grown close enough again for his death to hurt and even that was all a lie.
The one person who'd given him a chance straight off the bat when he'd come back, who'd trusted him even when Jason had held a gun to his head and Jason had come to trust the same way had broken that.
The part that hurt Jason the most though, was the fact that no matter how much Dick's actions had hurt him, no matter how much Jason wanted to hate his brother for all of it, somewhere along the way he'd lost the ability to think of Dick as anything but his older brother. And he couldn't bring himself to hate the very thing he'd wanted his whole life when he finally had it. It was almost entirely out of spite that Jason kept himself from hating Dick. He cared about his ass of a brother too much.
He was different in another way too though. Jason hadn't understood then as much as he did now, didn't understand Dick as much as he did now. After Tim had come along, it'd taken a while but eventually Jason had understood what it felt like to be an older brother. Then came Damian and Steph and Cass and suddenly his family was so big. But there was a difference between being an older brother and being the oldest brother.
He hadn't known until he'd been forced to do it. He couldn't call what he'd done before 'caring' exactly, but he'd felt a responsibility to the younger ones in the family. Sometimes that responsibility had cost him, but he'd always had someone above him to go to, he'd always had Dick. And then he hadn't. And he'd been the top. Even then when it'd gotten to be a lot, he'd talked to Dick.
"You've reached Dick Grayson. Sorry, but i guess i'm a little busy right now. I'll get back to you as soon as I can but feel free to leave me a message after the beep. If it's urgent, you know how else to reach me. Talk to you soon!"
The same message that played through his phone now had played every night in the earlier weeks, growing scarcer as Jason had grown more comfortable. Sometimes, like now, he'd barely realised he'd done it but hearing Dick's voice even if it wasn't really him - at that time he'd known, thought it never would be again - had just made Jason feel safe in a way he almost never did and he spent long nights talking into the answering machine saying everything he always wished he had but never could to his brother.
Right now though, he could talk to his brother. He had a second chance. He wasn't going to leave any words unsaid. If Dick wasn't picking up, then he'd try the next best thing; Dick could ignore his calls but he couldn't not open the door especially when Jason had made all that effort to drive out and tell his brother just how much he was living up to his name.
What he didn't expect was Dick to not answer his door until the fifth time Jason knocked. Even when he eventually did…
"Slept through your alarm? Pfft yeah that's one way to put it."
Jason hadn't planned for that to be the first words out of his mouth but he was a little shocked. A little… scared.
"Wasn't a lie," Dick rasped, shrugging and already turning away but leaving the door cracked open; leaving it to be Jason's choice whether it was his right to come in or not when he'd gotten things so wrong.
"You could have told us the truth," he whispered, deciding to step in and close the door behind him but not leave the safety of the doorway.
"What, that- " Dick paused, wincing as he limped over to the bathroom. "That I slept through my alarm because I went on patrol after having a couple of drinks and got into some trouble? That I never heard my alarm because I was flat out unconscious until 2?"
"That you almost died again?" The words tasted bitter in Jason's mouth. 'Again' wasn't meant to be used in the same sentence as 'died' when talking about anyone else but him, especially not in his own family but it applied to too many people he cared about now? "We would have liked to know."
"You would have worried for nothing."
"I mourned for nothing," Jason hissed. "I think I deserve the right to decide for myself what I waste my time and energy on when it comes to you now."
Dick leaned against the wall, placing a hand on his bandaged side where a red stain was growing. Jason avoided looking at the rest of his brother's bare torso, covered in so many bandages that still couldn't hide the purple and red let alone what covered his brother's arms, shoulders, legs, face.
"Why are you even here, Jay?" Dick asked quietly, a voice so defeated that if he hadn't been standing right in front of him, wouldn't think was his brother's voice.
"I was here to make sure you didn't disappoint the other Robins again but I guess instead of doing it by lecturing, I just make sure you're still alive by Friday."
He'd already started walking over, but he had to run the last few steps to catch Dick as he fell.
"Got my work cut out for me," Jason muttered, pulling his brother's least injured arm over his shoulders. "Don't know how you're still alive right now."
"Didn't really enjoy the whole death thing. Not eager to try it again soon," Dick grunted.
They reached the bathroom where it seemed a highly-stocked first aid kit had been dumped on the floor and counter, bandages spilling from the cabinet along with pill bottles. The red was already half-dried on the bathtub.
Dick let out a pained hiss as Jason helped him sit on a towel on the edge of the tub. His brother immediately leaned against the wall next to him, eyes screwing shut in pain.
"Jeez Dickie, Alfred would have a heart attack."
"Sorry I tend to be clumsy when bleeding out," Dick bit back but there was no malice behind it. He hadn't even opened his eyes.
"Okay, um, what have you already taken? Painkiller-wise."
Jason started assessing Dick's wounds and the supplies around him, trying to figure out where to start. Dick had done a surprisingly good job patching himself up considering, but the implications of it made Jason sad.
"I threw up anything I took like half an hour ago so doesn't matter."
"Fuck Dick," Jason breathed, staring at his brother.
Dick just smirked bitterly. "It's been a great night, day whatever," he said sarcastically. He opened his eyes and looked up at Jason, expression sobering. "I'm really sorry we couldn't go out today."
"Yeah, me too. Timmy and Dames were really looking forward to it."
Dick gave him a funny look but he pretended to ignore it as he started to get out more bandages for his brother's side.
"Were you?" Dick asked quietly after a few moments.
Jason paused and thought. "Yeah," he admitted, to himself and Dick.
"I'm sorry," Dick whispered, closing his eyes again as a tear slipped out. Jason looked away, focusing on making sure his brother's wouldn't bleed out again.
"For all of it," Dick continued. "I'll keep saying it for as long as I need to."
"And I'll keep not listening until you show me you mean it." Jason tied off the bandage and looked Dick right in the eyes. "I won't forgive you until you stop doing everything you're sorry for. It's up to you to decide how long that is. I don't want to be mad at you, Dick, but… we all know how I can hold grudges."
He sighed, and sat next to Dick on the edge of the tub.
"Look," he started. "I know… I understand why you have to lie sometimes. When you were… gone, I had to be you, and I… I hate that I get it but I do. I'm not your level of compassionate or self-sacrificial or caring or whatever but I still had to do things that I hated, or am not proud of, or wished I didn't have to but I did just to make things a little better, a little easier for Tim and even for Damian. I know I can't ask you to promise to tell us the truth all of the time because sometimes it's the things you lie about, or hide that save us, that make things okay even in the worst situations."
"Talk to you soon!" Words, lies not even really said by him, but they'd made him feel so much better nonetheless. Gotten him through nights that felt like the morning would never come, on top of countless other night, days, weeks, months, years that Dick had always been there, physically or not and instantly brought a sliver of hope to the most hopeless situations. It was who he was and Jason had gotten a glimpse of how he had gotten there.
"All that I ask, Dick, is that you at least… you don't have to do that with me. Promise me that at least between the two of us, there are no lies, no half-truths, no hiding things or anything. I'll…," Jason swallowed, knowing the weight of what he was about to say, about to do. "I'll do it too. Trust is a two way street, right? No secrets between us. I promise. Do you?"
He turned to look at Dick but Dick was already leaning towards him. Jason didn't think a hug had ever felt so good. They stayed there for a few moments, arms tight around each other, both shaking slightly for different reasons. He felt Dick nod into his shoulder, then heard his voice, quiet but still thick with emotion.
"I promise."
Today 8:49am
Timmers: Hey, @bigbird, we're still on for today, right?
Dami: I personally ensured he had multiple alarms set.
Jay: See, @bruceslittleaccident that only works if he actually slept. I'm telling you he's been up since 5
Timmers: Then where is he?
You: Driving rn can't text
Timmers: @bigbird you said we leave at 10!?
Dami: @richard pay attention to the road
You: At a red light rn dw @little_d
You: @ceobro had to pick up some breakfast for us
You: and I'm picking up jay, ur good for time @ceobro
You: @littlewing im ten mins out btw
Jay: imma go enjoy my last ten mins of peace and quiet then @d!ckhead
The ten minutes went by too fast and soon Dick showed up at Jason's doorway.
"You ready?"
"What happened to 'hi Jason, how are you?'."
"Hi Jason, how are you?" Dick parroted, shit-eating grin on his face.
"Hungry as fuck so no promises that there'll be any of whatever you brought left over for the others. You?"
"I'm good." "I'm fine, Jay." "I'm okay." "It's not that bad, I'm fine." "I'm not sick, it's just- not smoke inhalation either, I'm perfectly oka-"
"A little tired. I think I'm coming down with something and I'm still sore but it's not too bad."
"We don't have to do this today if you're sick."
"I'm not sick yet and I want to do this. I promise I'll tell you if we need to leave early and I'm spending the rest of the weekend at the manor."
Jason looked his brother over then gave a small smile. "Well, looks like you're doing pretty good keeping your promises so far so I'll take it. Tim never mentioned anything about you spending the whole weekend…"
"I decided for sure last night, they don't know yet."
Jason raised an eyebrow, thinking about it before giving in with a groan.
"Okay give me five minutes and I'll have a bag ready too."
"Jay you don't- "
"Yes I do," Jason called behind him, already heading towards his bedroom. "If three out of four of the kids are in the manor, Alfred's gonna ask me to stay for dinner and then he'll say it's too late in the night to drive home and ask me to stay and I can't say no to Alfred so I might as well have my stuff ready because I'm not getting out of this."
Dick just laughed, waiting patiently for Jason to come back with a small backpack.
"Okay let's go before I really do get hungry enough to finish that box of donuts you got in the back."