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Language:
English
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Published:
2024-09-08
Words:
185
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
3
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23

The Band Director

Summary:

My experience with my band director. He’s a funny guy but I can’t stop waiting for him to finally be proud of me.

But that will never happen.

Notes:

I’m sorry if this is bad. I wrote this in a whim; I don’t even know if this counts as poetry, but it feels like poetry to me. I hope you can enjoy it at least.

My band director’s not a bad guy though, I’m just more sensitive to his attitude than others.

Work Text:

I don’t know why I crave your approval like I do.
You’re nothing special.

But when you let other kids go play with the olders
It makes me fear.

Fear that you won’t like me as much.

Fear that when I do something wrong, you’ll move me down a position.

Fear that when I’m not as good, you won’t notice me.

So why does that make me hope that you’ll look my way?

I shouldn’t feel this way
But everytime I do something wrong, I hope you’ll look at me the same.

It makes me want to stick out so you’ll so much as glance in my direction.

I would let you do anything to me if it would let me be put in the same category as the special kids.

Is this wrong?
That I wait and wait for you to praise me?
That I play louder for you to hear me?
That I want you to rely on me?
That all I want you to say is a simple ‘good job’?

Maybe I’m not good enough for that.

Maybe I never will be.