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Fucked Up Ferret Freezing My Four-AM Coffee

Summary:

Danny has noted that Tim has been awake for far too long, and decides to go to extreme measures to make him go to sleep.

Notes:

I will never apologize for what I’m about to make you read. Suffer (or don’t, there’s a legible second chapter that is screen-reader friendly and won’t give anyone a headache … probably)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Danny knew thiws was hiws onwy chance. Tim was nowmawwy vewy obsewvant, but maybe, juwst maybe, danny couwd get away with iwt thiws time. Tim was pushing tuwu hiws fouwth day without sweep; if he did thiws wight, Tim wouwd dismiss Danny’s ghost fowm as a hawwucination awnd he wouwdn't have tuwu tawk abouwt iwt. Evew.

He owed the waynes so much. They'd taken him in at hiws wowest, aww because he'd kept a smaww tewwitowy safe aftew thawt huge eawthquake. He knew they wewe vigiwantes, actuaw vigiwantes. They knew he had powews, thawt he'd patwowwed whiwe invisibwe, thawt he had many mowe awthough the wumows wewe nevew consistent. They knew he used the nawme phantom.

They'd pwobabwy heawd abouwt the mute awnd mutated fewwet thawt fwew thwough hiws tewwitowy, wike a weiwd sky wowm.

Danny hoped the Waynes didn't know the fewwet thing was him. Because thawt was the onwy way he was going tuwu get away with thiws.

Twansfowming was awways weiwd. Going fwom so wawge tuwu so smaww was jawwing. He was juwst gwatefuw iwt didn't huwt, becoming something nowt much wongew than hiws human foweawm.

Fiwst stowp: Tim's woom. He hoped the othew teen was thewe, he weawwy didn't wawnt tuwu twy awnd find the Batcave. Who knew whawt kind of sensows they had down thewe. He'd bewn bwought diwectwy tuwu the manow awnd had stayed away fwom the cave so faw. Danny wanted tuwu keep iwt thawt way.

Wuck, iwt wouwd seem, was own Danny’s side; Tim was in hiws woom! Now, tuwu buwwy him intwo bed. Aftew aww, he did owe thewm.
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