Chapter Text
There were a few things that everyone knew, no matter the sea or island you came from. A set of rules you needed to memorize if you hoped to live past the age of 10 in this bizarre world.
The majority of those rules focused solely on the dangers out there, ie. be wary around pirates, keep away from revolutionaries, do not mess with the Emperors of the Sea - all basic things that everyone and their mothers were well aware of.
But there was one seemingly out of place bullet point added to the pile. An almost off-handed remark, a casual sentence thrown into a mixture of well meaning warnings. However impractical the addition, it was no doubt one of the most important rules out there:
”Hair care matters.”
_______
Sun glaring up from above, air stagnant and heavy all around, a trio of bounty hunters continued their trek into who-knows-where for the fourth consecutive day.
Zoro was, of course, leading the way. Johnny and Yosaku had only met the guy days ago and he was plenty competent at his sword, so they had no problem putting him in charge of their small group. What's the worst that could happen?
They’d practically been walking in circles the entire time, but surely there was a reason for that, right? This master swordsman they just happened to stumble upon was just teaching them a lesson on patience. Or maybe it was a profound take on letting your feet do the walking, trusting yourself to go where fate needs you to.
Zoro seemed pretty confident at least, so they were perfectly fine just going with the flow. Besides, neither wanted to piss the guy off - they both felt a mixture of absolute awe and abject terror whenever they saw him in action.
And they saw plenty of action. If there was one method to the madness that was Zoro’s navigation, it was that they attracted pirates like damn flies.
Made sense - they were exclusively circling around one of the busier towns on the island. Criminals and less desirables often chose to stay outside city limits after stocking up. It felt like they had an absolutely showstopping, epic battle every two hours. Johnny and Yosaku hadn’t had this much action in… well, never.
It was honestly kinda tiring at this point. Not that they were doing a lot of the actual fighting - Zoro was all too happy to deal with the brunt of it - no, it was the cheering that really did them in. Most of it was unconscious - I mean, have you seen Zoro fight? It was bordering on a religious experience. The two just couldn’t help themselves - both of their voices were shot due to their near constant shouted chants. They’d already come up with a few choreographed dances - it was the least they could do after being allowed to see Zoro in action up close.
They’d come to know a lot about their new idol. His fighting forms especially - the two had taken to practicing what they’d observed on the weaker opponents. Zoro was a lot of things - amazing, cooler than shit, savage - but he wasn’t the best teacher around. If you wanted to learn anything from the guy, you had to just study him mid-battle. There was something outside of swordsmanship they’d noticed however.
The man had a vendetta against fellow green haired opponents. Absolutely dead set on taking them down first. No mercy, no particular honor. It was on sight. They usually didn’t even need to have a bounty on their heads.
The moment Zoro caught sight of green hair, he was on it. Sword drawn and bandana already worn, blood bath following quickly after.
This current fight had started the same way. There were two green haired pirates this time, both of which were swiftly attacked before they’d even seen Zoro coming. A flick of his wrist and they went down with a spray of blood, dead before they even hit the ground.
There weren’t any other pirates to speak of, so Johnny and Yosaku got to flipping through the most recent batch of posters while Zoro went through their belongings, hoping to at least get rewarded for this most recent altercation. After a moment of silence, Zoro let out a loud cheer.
“Fuckin’ finally!” Johnny and Yosaku jolted, heads snapping downwards to where Zoro was knelt to the ground. “About time - I can finally take a damn shower now.”
Zoro stood up from his latest victims, walking towards them with a small bottle in his hands. Closer inspection revealed it to be green hair dye.
The two shared a look - ’Oh…’ A lot was starting to make sense.
Yosaku spoke up, tucking away the posters for now. “Uh.. Zoro? Was this-” He gestured towards the two bodies still sprawled out behind them. “- all because you were due for a dye job?”
“Huh?” Zoro looked up from the bottle, still wearing a triumphant grin. “Oh, that. I mean, yeah… It’s been awhile, y’know? Another wash and it’d all fade away. I was working on a damn time limit - shit was dire.”
This only worked to reaffirm their need to stay on the guy’s good side. Sure, a lot of people took their signature looks seriously. But this? A targeted killing spree, drawn out for days at this point? Probably longer in fact - they’d likely met Zoro towards the end of this little mission. It all seemed a tad bit excessive and even more so dramatic is all.
Well, they were all due for a bit of hair care. Yosaku had an inch of grow-out; dark brown roots against his usual bleach blond locks. Johnny was an even worse case. He’d been trying to grow out his hair past shoulder length but had done nothing to take care of it. It was a total mess of dark tangled strands and split ends.
Yeah… now seemed as good a time as any for a little salon action. And they weren’t about to say no to the guy who probably killed over 30 people for it.
“Well, let’s go find a fucking river then I guess.”
____
“So, uh, why didn’t you just buy some dye? There’s plenty of shops around town and you definitely have the money, right?” Johnny busied his hands in Zoro’s hair, bleaching his dark roots. Their set up was nowhere near professional, but it worked, okay? Using leaves as makeshift foils and a brush they’d stolen from the pirates, he managed to do a half decent job.
Zoro’s face was carefully neutral, but Johnny noticed a slight flush to his ears. It was hard not to, being as close as he was to him. “Damn shops kept movin’. It’s another one of those islands where they like to rearrange everything - couldn’t keep track of it. Whole town straight up moved across the island…”
“Oh… uh, well, sure buddy, sure.”
He was slowly beginning to realize that maybe Zoro wasn’t as otherworldly as he’d thought. Didn’t take away from his intimidating accomplishments, but painted him in a more human light. Made him seem like a friend more than someone to worship. The ridiculous salon scene they were playing out only added to that sentiment.
Yosaku was balancing a mirror between his legs, carefully trimming his waist length hair while he waited for his turn with the bleach. It seemed this time he was going for something slightly new - framing his face with shorter pieces and leaving the rest longer. It was downright majestic - his partner’s pride and joy. He’d been growing it out for a few years now which was a feat in itself when your job entails tracking criminals down.
It was a tad bit strange seeing Yosaku, someone who’d killed dozens of men over their shared career, wear a look of complete concentration while carefully cutting away at hair. Every once in a while he’d pause, turning his head back and forth to model whatever new cut he had made. He looked borderline domestic.
Tossing the bleach towards Yosaku, Johnny moved to sit beside Zoro. They had about 15 minutes to wait for the bleach to finish, so he had some time to think over what he wanted his new look to be. Something tough… something that just screamed intimidating. Should he dye it? Red like the blood of their enemies? Maybe green to create a sort of theme with Zoro? Or maybe -
“Oi, want me to do yours?” Zoro’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. It took Johnny a while to tune into what he had said - had he really heard him right? The Roronoa Zoro was offering to do his hair? How could he say no to that? Zoro was practically announcing their friendship for all to hear - everyone knows that hair time was the best time to bond!
“Yes!!” Okay, he was maybe a bit too over eager. “Uh, I mean, sure…” It was a futile attempt at being suave, but Zoro didn’t seem to notice, already standing up to move behind him.
Johnny heard a clink of metal - likely one of the daggers they were using. Well, might as well decide on what style he was going with. Yosaku was sticking with his longer length, so maybe he should too…
He felt movement from behind - Zoro seemed to be ready to start. “Okay, so I was thinking about layers? Maybe something to add a bit of volume? It’s pretty dry on this island and my hair’s been sort of dull. So, something shorter at the top and maybe even it out towards the-”
Zoro’s muttered “Two sword style…” interrupts him, followed quickly by a whisper of blade on either side of his head. In seconds, Johnny feels what could only be naked skin against warm sun where once there was hair.
“UM?!” his hands shot up, confirming his suspicions. Yosaku tuned into the commotion with a barely concealed snicker. “Zoro!? I wasn’t done!”
Johnny whipped around to face him, eyes widening when he caught sight of what Zoro was holding in both hands. “Were you… were you using your swords to cut my hair?! Two at once?!! You could’ve cut off my ears, bro! And, and-!” He paused as his hands moved to the top of his head where the hair was largely untouched, merely a few inches shorter than before.
”And you didn’t even get all of it?!” Yosaku started outright laughing at that. He was still in the process of bleaching his roots and touching up the rest of his hair, but this was just too good to miss. Zoro’s nonchalant attitude towards it all only made him laugh harder.
“Huh… I should’ve done three sword style…”
“No! Wrong! That is not what you should do! You’re done - I’m done. We’re just gonna leave the rest of my poor hair be!” Swiping the mirror from Yosaku, he started to examine the damages. Yosaku was thoroughly distracted at this point, hair forgotten as he studied Johnny’s hair with a grin.
“Little top heavy, huh Johnny~” Yosaku dodged all of his hits, ruffling the tuft of remaining hair as he fought to steady the mirror.
To be fair, it was remarkably even on both sides. He really shouldn’t be surprised - Zoro was probably better off using swords rather than daggers after all. The image of how much worse this could’ve been helped to sooth his distress a tad, though it didn’t stop the regret at losing almost a year's worth of growth. He’d gone through the awkward growing stages for that, okay? The few months where hair kept curling directly into his eyes, flipping above his ears in weird swoops. Johnny had worked for that hair.
“Eh, s’cool if you leave it I guess. Looks kinda punk.”
“Oh! Uh, yeah! Right, punk - that’s sooo me…”
Zoro moved to rinse out the likely tingling bleach, silencing Johnny’s thoughts. Well, if Zoro thought it was cool, then it was pretty fucking cool, right? Suddenly all regret was out the window and he began brainstorming ways to liven it up even more. Maybe he would dye it…
Roots now bleached, Zoro ran a towel through his hair before grabbing at his treasured dye bottle. Yosaku had long since relinquished the mirror, so Johnny returned to his spot behind Zoro without another word, hands working through slightly damp hair.
He was going to have green fingers for at least a week after this, he was sure. The pirate’s dye was a particularly bright shade of green. It was a lot different to Zoro’s pale green, though he suspected that was mainly due to it being washed out. He didn’t seem the type to be into pastels at least. This was more up his alley - a lot more ’punk’.
Dying his hair was a lot easier than bleaching had been. It was merely a process of covering each strand up evenly - not a lot of thought was needed. The method as a whole was rather soothing as well and Johnny soon found himself deep in thought about how to make his hair more punk.
That was going to be the theme of their little trio, right? All the cool bastards out there had a theme. Matching outfits and all that jazz - the fact that Zoro initiated this little group activity was evidence they were all friends now. Might as well make it all official to anyone who saw them.
Hmmm… He should probably dye it then… Maybe not green - he honestly thought the shade was a little too much - but the whole blood red idea seemed pretty cool to him. Probably easier to find than the green was anyways. If he was going to be following Zoro around, he’d have to get used to avoiding towns.
Johnny had worked through most of Zoro’s hair when an unmanly scream sounded from the river edge. A quick glance revealed a devastated Yosaku, kneeling at the ground with clumps of blond hair tangled in his clenched hands. The very picture of dramatic distress.
“I didn’t - the bleach-!” He raised his arms up, grasping at his rapidly shortening hair. “I was laughing at your hair, bro - I was laughing and I wasn’t timing-!”
It was Johnny’s turn to grin now. His friend now sported a sort of bob, the previously straight, glossy locs turned into damaged waves. He’d gone overboard this time with the bleach - too trigger happy with touching up the already altered ends. To make matters worse, rather than the muted blond from before, Yosakus' hair took on a much yellower shade.
“Trying a new look, eh Yosaku? Shorter for the summer? Little tropical banana theme?”
“Shut up! This is the worst thing that could happen to me and you know it! Years, bro, years. Outlasted all of my relationships - outlasted my ma! And now it’s - it’s ruined -!”
A low chuckle caught both of their attention - to their surprise, Zoro was the cause of it. It was the first time either had seen the man laugh.
Looking up at each other, they couldn’t help but to laugh themselves. They really did look ridiculous. Wannabe mohawk and burnt through mustard- lime green grass to complete the picture. Maybe their theme was to be as mismatched as possible.
“Eh, it’s punk.”