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Eloise doesn’t bother to hide the cigarette in her hand. After all, only one other person would come out there in the dead of night.
Without prompting, she hands her cigarette to Benedict.
“Feeling generous today sister?” Benedict asks, taking the cigarette and breathing in deeply.
“It is to be expected of a woman who is to be married is it not?”
Benedict turns to her, hearing the resentment in her voice. “El-”
Eloise just shakes her head. “Do not bother yourself with lies, no matter how reassuring you wish to be. We all know mama is going to turn her sight on me again. Now that Franseca too is married.”
Benedict grimaces. “If it is any comfort, mama will also be expecting me to find a wife.”
“I thought perhaps you and Lady Tilly Arnold had something.”
Benedict looks at her with wide eyes.
“How did you know about that?”
Eloise sniffs. “Well, you certainly weren’t being subtle about it. You both danced at a ball. And I saw the both of you disappear off together.” She looks at him and smirks. “And I’m afraid your bedroom has never been as clean as it has been recently.”
Benedict feels his face burn at the implication. He wasn’t surprised Eloise knew all about sex. After all, she had been curious how Marina had come to be with child, she would have never rested till she found an answer.
“Ah, well that is over now. “
“How so?”
Benedict stares at the dark sky, seeing the smoke from the cigarette float up. “My world had opened up, and well, I didn’t quite want it to close too soon.”
Benedict looked over at Eloise, wondering if perhaps he had said too much.
“I wish my world too, would open up. There is much beyond Mayfair that I could never see, simply for the fact that I am an unmarried woman. And if I were to be married to a man, I would be expected to devote every ounce of my time to him - I would no longer be perceived as an individual with her own wants and needs.”
Benedict frowns. There is something about the way she says it. Eloise had always been against the whole prospect of the marriage mart and Benedict had assumed she had never liked the societal impact of it, not the actual act itself.
“Do you believe Daphne and Franscea are no longer individuals? Penelope?”
Eloise flinches. She looks at the ground. “ Of course not. It’s just well - I can never find myself meeting a man in Mayfair who would entertain me.”
Benedict attempts to reassure her. “There is a whole world out there - with more men than you could possibly count. What about the apprentice boy you used to hang out with?”
Eloise smiled sadly. “At some point, I thought perhaps I did feel something for Theo.” Benedict absently notices that it’s the first time she said his name. It truly has been too long since they met on these swings.
Eloise continues, oblivious to his inner musings. “I enjoyed his thoughts I suppose. He always treated me well. Wanted to listen to my thoughts and cared about them. No one in Mayfair had ever done that.”
“Yet when we..” Here. Eloise trails off, a dark blush spreading on her cheeks. Oh. Oh . Well, Benedict certainly didn’t need details on that .
“I now see I underestimated the lengths you would be willing to go to for answers.”
Eloise sniffs. “Brother, need I remind you you are in no position to talk? Women have needs too.”
Benedict laughs fondly. It was such an Eloise answer. And well, if she was a willing participant, he had nothing more to say on the manner.
“Yes, well, when we did that, it wasn’t as I expected. It was … lacking I suppose. I believe there might be something wrong with me.” Eloise looks away from him, tears shining in her eyes.
“Sister.” Benedict says, wiping her tears away. “There is nothing wrong with you.” He stares at her, still so stubborn and unconvinced. He knew what he had to say but it didn't make it any easier.
Benedict looks away from her. “I’ve always enjoyed being with women but lately -” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve come to realise I’m not unopposed to men either. In fact, I quite like them too.”
He looks at Eloise, at her shocked expression. “And you like both? Is that.. Is that normal?”
“Perhaps not in the eyes of society. But well. To love someone regardless of sex is truly such a human thing don’t you think sister.”
He sees it when it clicks in Eloise. “After all, when have we ever cared what society has thought of us?”
Benedict smiles at that. “We, sister? A certain woman caught your eye?”
Eloise averts her eyes, her cheeks turning bright red instantly. “Eloise, you must not keep me in suspense. I shall need to meet her to know if she is fit for my younger sister.”
“Benedict!” Eloise exclaims as she pushes his swing away as he only laughs. She folds her arms. “Only if you show me who has caught your fancy.”
Benedict smiles. “He’s not too fond of the ton as it seems.”
“I like him already.” Benedict smiles, thinking of Paul. Yeah, Eloise and him would certainly be friends. And while it was still a casual relationship, Benedict did truly consider Paul a good friend.
Suddenly out of nowhere, Eloise gasps. “I am a fool. A complete and utter fool. How did I miss this?”
Benedict simply raises an eyebrow, curious to know what had brought Eloise to this revelation.
“Lord Debling - No wonder she wanted a well travelled man. I am truly blind.” Suddenly she gets up, and starts sprinting to their horses.
“Eloise! Where are you off too in the dead of the night?” Benedict asks, watching his sister in confusion. Eloise had never been one for riding, always preferring to stick to her books and even, at times fencing when no one was there to admonish her.
“I have to meet someone. Immediately. I cannot afford to waste more time. I have refused to see what is in front of my eyes for so long.”
Benedict shakes his head, figuring he would hear about it more tomorrow. He knew Eloise could take care of herself after all.
Just before she’s almost out of sight though, Eloise turns around. “For the record, you are my favourite sibling Benedict.”
Benedict smiles widely. “And you are mine Eloise.”