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"Carter.. Hey Carter.." Sam shook my shoulder lightly from the front seat but I was out cold, drained of energy from the long hunt we had just returned from.
"Come on Sammy let her sleep she deserves it we've had a long week." Dean chided shutting off the impala and putting it into park. He got out of the car and opened the door I was leaning against. Dean catches me before I fall out into the gravel on the driveway. "Easy there Carter." he says, Sam getting the duffles of clothes from the trunk. Dean picks me up like a baby. "She's a handful. Get the door for me Sammy will you?" Dean asks adjusting my weight in his arms so he can carry me through the doors.
Sam opens the door to the bunker and Dean carries me inside. Dean carefully carries me down the stairs from the front door and through the halls Sam not far behind with my bag having already dropped theirs by the library on his way past. As we get into my room I mumble in my sleep a bit and my head rolls to the side. Dean lays me on my bed "Carter are you awake? What did you say?" He questions pulling off my boots and quietly placing them next to the bed. Sam sets my bag by the dresser and looks at me.
"I've gotta find them." I repeat and sit up my head dangling.
"Is she sleep talking?" Dean asked looking at Sam confused.
Sam nodded returning his eyes to me "Find who Carter?" He questioned leaning against the door jam.
"Demons." I growl bluntly and start crying quietly my head still just hanging forward. Dean steps closer and tries to lay me back down but I smack his hand away. I sob harder and start wheezing.
"She's gonna throw herself into a panic attack. Sam help me wake her up." Dean proclaimed trying to jostle me from my sleep but I just started panting heavily and smacking at them as tears streamed down my face.
"Dean, grab her!" Sam instructed backing off. Dean turned me around and wrapped his arms tightly around mine. He slowly laid me down on ground and I kept struggling. Sam knelt in front of me as I struggled in Dean's arms.
Sam held my face and spoke gently "Carter you've gotta wake up now, come on." I relaxed a bit but kept panting, making little sobbing noises as tears rolled down my face onto Sam's hands.
"I think she's waking up. Carter, wake up now. Come on you can do it, just wake up." Dean coaxed still keeping his hold on me and shaking me slightly. My eyes open wide, bloodshot, my pupils the size of a pinhead. I kept panting my limbs beginning to tingle from lack of oxygen. I tried weakly to move them, kicking my legs and clenching my hands.
"Carter calm down. Look you're safe here no demons. You're safe." Sam whispered trying to soothe me. It would've worked if I hadn't already been having an attack.
"Alright Carter." Dean said laying me back on the floor. I whimper and my chest rises and falls rapidly.
Sam places a hand on mine squeezing it, "Carter you need to calm down." He says in a soft even tone holding eye contact. I hold his hand and stare back at him. I swallow dryly and choke a little bit when the dryness of my throat rubs together, I continue panting.
Dean comes and kneels on my other side taking my other hand between his own and then rubbing my arm soothingly "You're okay Carter just come down. You're safe with us Carter." He spoke in the same soothing way as Sam. I squeezed their hands and held my eyes shut. I closed my mouth and started breathing through my nose to control my panting. I focused on my secure surroundings. The boys keeping me grounded, reminding me of the safety the bunker provided. I took a deep breath, held it, and slowly released it. I did that seven times over until my breathing returned to the same way it was before. I let go of their hands and opened my eyes. I sat up and wiped the tears off my face with my jacket sleeve. I swallowed and coughed. My throat was still dry so I made to get up to get a glass of water but Dean stops me and goes to get it himself. I sit there cross legged on the floor of my room. Sam rubs my back trying comfort me despite me telling him I was fine. Dean came back carrying a tall glass of ice water and I took it with shaking hands. "There you go drink up." Dean encouraged as he helped me hold the glass as I drank it all. I set the glass down on the floor. I looked at both of them then back at the floor. I felt my lip quiver and I started to cry softly wrapping my arms around myself.
"Carter? Carter it's okay." Sam said as Dean pulled me into his chest and Sam pulled my legs into his lap. I sniffle and try to cover my face to hide my tears but Dean moves my arms and carefully wipes my face. "How about you go get cleaned up. You'll feel better after you get all that blood off of you." Sam suggested moving my legs off his lap and standing up. He held his hand out and I let him pull me up and away from Dean who stood up behind me. Sam walked me into the bathroom and Dean went over to my dresser to grab me some pajamas. Sam walked back out shutting the door behind him. "She's gonna take a shower." Sam explained sitting on my bed.
"Alright I’ll just leave these here then." Dean said setting the pajamas on the chair next to the bathroom door. "Come on Sam we should go get cleaned up ourselves." Sam nodded and left my room with Dean.
***
I turned on the shower and peeled off the grimy clothes. I tossed them in the hamper and stepped under the cool spray letting the water cascade down my body. I watched the rust colored water circle the drain. I lathered myself up and rinsing off all the blood, some mine some not, and dirt. I scrubbed at my skin making sure every last speck was gone. I moved back under the water and washed my hair. I shut off the icy shower and climbed out. I wrap a towel around my body and walk into my room. I see that no one is in my room and I drop my towel and grab some underwear from my dresser. I see the clothes laid out for me and put them on. I pad of my room to the kitchen. I stand on my tip toes, attempting to reach the whiskey on top the fridge. I huff my 5'3 stance wasn't tall enough to reach the liquor. I pull a chair over from the table and stand on it. It wobbles slightly as I strain to reach for the bottle. Curse my brothers for being giants.
"What are you doing up there?" I almost jump out of my skin when I hear Dean ask that. I am almost too literally like a kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Umm I was just.. I was gonna." I stammer standing on the chair my hand wrapped around the neck of the whiskey bottle.
"Looks like you're trying to get the whiskey." Dean said crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame.
"I uhm..." I turned to look at him only to be met with a glare that could scare a demon back to hell and I turned my face to the floor. We stood like that for what seemed to me to be the longest minute of my life before I heard him sigh.
"Come on down." I glanced over in his direction before I climb down from the chair and put the chair back.
"I'm sorry" I whisper under my breath.
"It's alright come here." Dean said standing up from the door frame. I shuffle over to stand in front of him staring at the ground ashamed of getting caught. Dean pulled me into a bear hug and I let out a shaking breath. "I understand the life is stressful. Maybe you should take a break from hunting." Dean suggested squeezing me tightly petting my hair in a ways to soothe me.
"No, Dean! I don't wanna take a break from hunting! I’m fine I just had a bad dream it's not that big of a deal!" I argued pushing him away.
"I’m not just talking about you. We all could use a break for a little while. We’ll take a break to get ourselves together before the next hunt this last one was hard on all of us." Dean explains squeezing my shoulder.
"Alright. I guess so." I relent unable to hold back a large yawn.
"Alright, let’s get you back to bed. You've barely slept." Dean said turning me around and pushing me towards my bedroom.
"Carry me, brother." I say holding out my arms.
"Oh, you want me to carry you? Oh, I’ll carry you!" Dean exclaimed throwing me over his shoulder. I yelped and then laughed. I dangled over Dean's shoulder like a sack of potatoes as he carried me to my room. He tossed me playfully on my bed and we shared a giggle-filled smile. "Goodnight Carter." He laughed throwing the covers over me and turning on my CD player. Hey Jude playing softly through the speakers.
"Nighty night De." I yawned in return snuggling in my blankets. Dean flicked off the lights and shut the door behind him. I smiled to myself glad that I have two understanding half-brothers to help me through this. I fell back asleep and didn't dream for the rest of the night.