Chapter Text
For the first time in what felt like years, there was a silence that settled on everything like a thick layer of dust. Unaccompanied by the voice in Tav’s head and her companions’ constant quips while travelling, she felt so uncomfortable. Like there was this deep unrest squirming in the pit of her stomach for a reason that eluded her.
By Gods, heavy encumbrance is no joke. Even in her mind Tav sounded exhausted.
Beads of perspiration dotted her forehead and her back strained under her immense pack. She chuckled wryly at her past self who never really had to worry about her carrying weight. She thought of fonder times where she was able to share any loot she found with her companions, distributing precious supplies, and making sure everyone was within their weight limit.
She had been the last to retrieve her belongings from their place of camp, and now that she was lugging all of her belongs to her accommodation, she had the time to fully comprehend what happened in the few short hours after the cataclysmic fight with the Netherbrain.
Karlach left for Avernus after some persuading, with Wyll by her side. Laezel left immediately after on Orpheus’ dragon to liberate her people. Shadowheart sought to reconnect with her Selunite roots and left to seek out her friend Nocturne. Despite wishing to celebrate at a tavern before fishing the Crown of Karsus to give to Mystra, Gale decided against it and thought it best to get the Crown before anything could happen to it.
Of all the companions that have left, two of them left her with a particular sinking feeling in her gut. Astarion, fleeing from the sun, had slinked into the shadows and disappeared. And despite knowing that the only reason Halsin stayed in Baldur’s Gate was for her, it didn’t hurt any less when he had to leave for the formerly cursed Shadowlands to repair the damage that had been done.
It seemed that everyone had their own stories to finish, their own lives that were halted that they now needed to pursue. Everyone except Tav.
Before being kidnapped and waltzed away aboard the Nautiloid, Tav was just a regular everyday Baldurian. Going on an adventure to save the city was something was something that didn’t happen even in her wildest dreams. Before everything, it was just her and her little trinket store in a more obscure part of the lower city, no doubt thoroughly looted and abandoned now.
Upon reaching said store, she was surprised to see that the front of her store had been boarded up with a few planks of wood. Nothing a simple cantrip couldn’t destroy, but she was surprised nonetheless.
The paint of the storefront was weathered, and the signboard was creaking pathetically in the wind. Heading inside, her pack fell to the floor so hard it shook the floorboards.
Tav took a deep lung full of musty air. Surprisingly, everything in her store had been left untouched, although much dustier. The sound alone of her exhaling seem to take up the entire room before disappearing into the night. The din from the Blushing Mermaid that she still could hear faintly on her way here was now completely drowned out by the silence of her store.
As her heartbeat started to settle from the earlier exertion and Tav could no longer hear the hammering in her ears, she chewed at her bottom lip. It was so damn silent. Her thoughts began to race and that was when it truly dawned on her.
She was truly, and utterly, alone. In the huge city that was Baldur’s Gate, she was the only one in her small and cluttered shop, her pack still packed with items and memories of her travels on the floor.
She could no longer seek the comfort of Astarion’s presence whenever she was sleepless. The starry night which she would lie under with Astarion from time to time was replaced by a dull ceiling, unimaginative and boring. Despite the hug Halsin and her had exchanged before he went on his way, she had already started to miss his embrace, along with the nighttime trysts they would share. Before she knew it, her face grew hot and her eyes began to sting.
And then she was bawling. While there was a tear shed for the joy of having survived and beaten the horror that was the Netherbrain, she mostly cried for the end of things as she knew them. That despite all the hardships and horrors that she had witnessed, she was not alone and had people who she could fall back and rely on. Crying because she missed the horrible vinegar Astarion and her would share when there was no wine. She missed the comfort she would feel in Halsin’s arms as he held her and murmured reassurances in her ear. She missed the rush of relief she would feel when she would peek out of her tent after jolting awake in the middle of the night to see Astarion poring over a book, bathed in moonlight.
Tav realised that she would never get to see those sights again. Everything was over now, and there was a possibility she would never see any of them again. The times she spent with them were glorious and something she would never forget, but they had failed to define anything before everything ended. With the end of the world being a constant threat on their travels, it was hard for her to discern if their feelings for her were truly genuine or merely a distraction to keep them all sane.
Crouched on the dirty wooden floorboards in the pitch darkness, her head buried in her knees, she sobbed until her head pounded and could no longer produce tears.
Maybe in the morning she would ask around if anyone had spotted a silver-haired man lurking in the shadows, or if anyone knew of any travelling carts that left Baldur’s Gate for the Shadowlands. But for tonight, she could barely find the energy left to crawl upstairs before she collapsed into her bed.