Archive of Our Own

I. At 16

Chuuya was truly so fed up with working with this shitty Mackerel. Really, couldn’t Mori have assigned anyone else as his partner? Preferably someone who didn’t talk so much, who wasn’t so annoying, and who didn’t insist on calling him short over and over and over again. But NO. He was so unfortunately stuck with the bandaged menace that was Osamu Dazai. All the time. Really, he just wanted to spend a single peaceful day goddamnit!

“Chuu~yaaaaaa!” An all too familiar voice drawled right next to his ear. Chuuya groaned, took the pillow that he was so comfortably resting on and chucked it at where he knew his dumbass partner was. Dazai wailed dramatically. “Chibi! How dare you! This is domestic abuse!” He complained loudly. Chuuya’s head was ringing already and he’d been awake for a total of 20 seconds. Seriously. How in the world did Dazai have this much energy to annoy him every single morning despite being the one to sleep less?!

Of course Dazai wouldn’t accept Chuuya doing something like ignoring him at - Chuuya looked over at his radio clock - 7:51 AM. And, like the floppy fish his dumbass of a partner was, he put his whole weight into letting himself fall on top of Chuuya, squishing him further into the mattress. Chuuya tried raising one of his legs to kick him in the shin, but the Mackerel simply wiggled just out of reach.

It was another typical morning in Chuuya’s apartment. Another typical morning where he didn’t even have to wait for his alarm clock to go off because he had a giant pet fish who took over said alarm clock’s job of waking him in time for work. He sighed and admitted defeat, far too tired to deal with Dazai’s antics this early, simply leaving the other boy to sprawl all over him. Like he did almost every day, whenever they were at home.

It had been a rough couple of weeks. Mori kept sending his ‘newly acquired special unit’, as he sometimes called the duo that was Chuuya and Dazai, out on all kinds of missions. Most of the time they had to leave rather early, spend their day on said missions, and then spend an additional couple of hours on writing up the reports. They’d get home late at night, usually somewhere between 2 - 3 AM, just to wake up 5 hours later and repeat the whole thing again. Chuuya desperately needed some days of vacation. Even just a weekend would be fine, just so he could finally, finally get some decent sleep in. In the time he’d been working with the Port Mafia now, these were definitely the most exhausting weeks thus far. An endless cycle of work, a few hours of restless sleep, then more work.

Chuuya finally found the strength to turn around, coming face to face with two deep, brown eyes of one shitty Mackerel who moved his position just a little bit to rest comfortably on Chuuya’s chest, staring up at him from beneath his annoyingly long eyelashes. Chuuya absent-midedly wrapped his arms around Dazai’s torso, staring right back at him. “Let me guess: Mori has another mission for us today?” He asked, although already very aware of the answer. Dazai dropped his head and nuzzled into Chuuya’s chest. “Yup he does. He sent me a text that we should be at the office at around 9 AM.”

Chuuya wanted to scream. He just wanted a goddamn break. But the boss's orders were the boss's orders. So instead of complaining about something he couldn’t exactly change, he pushed Dazai off and sat up. His partner pouted and wrapped his arms around Chuuya. “Chibiiii! I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay in our bed!” He whined. Chuuya scoffed. “If you didn’t wanna leave you shouldn’t have woken me up! Plus, it’s my bed and my apartment, you fucking freeloader.”

Dazai then proceeded to sulk, leave the bed and stalk over to the kitchen while Chuuya continued his attempt at waking up without his annoying fish squishing him to death. Really, what was Dazai even doing here?! Sure, Chuuya might have forced him to permanently sleep in his apartment when he found out the other lived in a shipping container of all things. But still! Why was he always around! It’s like Dazai fully moved into his house without his knowledge!

Chuuya sighed and got up, stretching, before finding some clothes to put on for the day. Once he entered the kitchen, Dazai was already there and handed him a cup of coffee. It was exactly how Chuuya liked it. For how annoying his partner was, he definitely knew Chuuya’s exact favorite coffee combination. And he’d make it for him each and every morning without fail, filling up a white mug with a poorly drawn orange slug made with permanent marker. Dazai had his own coffee mug. His was decorated with an equally as poorly drawn blue fish. They’d gotten each other these mugs as mock christmas gifts and somehow they became their most used ones immediately. The cups themselves had a good quality, okay! There was nothing more to it.

“Any information about what we’re supposed to do on our mission today?” Chuuya asked, leaning against Dazai who was leaning on their kitchen counter. Dazai shrugged and pulled out his phone, scrolling through what might be the message history between him and Mori. “Apparently there have been issues with a jewelry shipment. A small ability group sabotaged the transport ship and took the containers for themselves. From what we know, they plan on selling the jewelry on the black market and make lots of money. Shallow motives, really. It shouldn’t be too big of a deal. No especially dangerous abilities either, so we’ll be fine. Honestly, I don’t know why Mori is sending us there. We’re much better than this!” Chuuya stared at his coffee mug in contemplation. Mori’s motives were often not easy to understand.

“Well, not like we can say anything. Let’s just get this done and over with and maybe we’ll be quick enough to write our report so we’ll manage to get more than 5 hours of sleep tonight. Go get dressed, Mackerel.” Dazai whined and complained but in the end he shut up when Chuuya caved and offered to wrap his partner’s bandages for him. Dazai seemed happy enough with that. Another part of the routine they established in the time since they met. To say Chuuya had been mildly surprised when Dazai willingly let him see under the bandages would be an understatement. But he wasn’t one to take such amounts of trust for granted, not even if they came from his annoying idiot.

As always, the ‘thank you for changing my bandages’ came in the form of a kiss pressed to his cheek, making Chuuya’s skin feel unnecessarily hot. Really, what was it with this Mackerel and causing his blood to heat up! Not even in the usual anger, no. This was a feeling Chuuya had never felt before Dazai and couldn’t categorize for the life of him. Obviously, that meant his answer had to be to return the gesture by kissing his partner’s forehead. It was just natural, really. And after successfully changing the Mackerel’s skin tone from pale to red, Chuuya dragged him out of the door and to their work.

—

Their mission went by without a hitch. The group wasn’t even enough of a threat Chuuya actually had to use his gravity powers to defeat them. And as always, Dazai barely moved a finger, watching Chuuya fight in delight, only occasionally joining in by shooting someone who deemed him a more interesting target. It didn't take long until all of their opponents were either dead or had managed to run away in time. Chuuya judgingly stared down at the dead body in front of him. The group’s leader, and the one who orchestrated their attempt at stealing from the Port Mafia.

“It’s your fault we had to get up early today, fuckface.” Chuuya grumbled and, just for good measure, grinded his foot into the man’s face until his skull cracked and caved in. Afterwards, he turned over to his partner who was watching him with a grin on his face. Chuuya walked over and kicked the container Dazai was sitting on, the sound echoing throughout the warehouse they found themselves in. “What’re you staring at?” He asked. Dazai’s grin widened. “At Chuuya~ He looks hot like this, all covered in enemy blood~” Chuuya once again felt his own blood’s temperature skyrocket.

Obviously, as it had been many times during their missions, his form of dealing with the annoying warmth was to drag in his Mackerel by his tie and smash their lips together, even if just to silence him. Another part of their dynamic, present almost every mission since they took each other’s very first kiss a few weeks after meeting for the first time, during one of their… More emotionally vulnerable nights.

A shot rang behind them, Chuuya slowly pulled back and opened his eyes, seeing a smug Dazai expression in front of him. Over his shoulder, the other boy had his arm stretched out, gun raised and directed at a body that now toppled over with a thud. “One of them was alive and tried getting up.” Dazai explained with an innocent smile, pushing himself off of the container and strolling over to another one. One that was open and filled with boxes. “Call the cleanup crew and Mori so they come here and get rid of the mess will you? I wanna check something.” 

Chuuya pulled out his phone - thankfully, it wasn’t damaged - then dialed their boss’s number. “Chuuya-kun! How’s the mission going!” Mori chirped. Chuuya still had to suppress the urge to punch him for dumping what felt like half of the entire Port Mafia’s workload on them. “The mission was successful. The cleanup group can come here now.” Chuuya hung up before Mori could mutter another word. He was far too tired for this.

“Chibi! Come here!” Dazai yelled from the container. Chuuya sighed, already sensing an incoming headache. “What is it, Dazai?” He grumbled and walked over. Dazai turned around with a wide grin. “Look what I found!” Then he held up his closed fist to the redhead’s face, opening it to show off two silver rings adorned with black gemstones. “They’re Double Black diamond rings!”

Chuuya couldn’t help but laugh at his partner’s visible joy. Dazai was the biggest menace to grace planet earth. “Just ‘cause Mori gave us a duo name doesn’t mean you gotta refer to it anytime you see two black items y’know. Put these back!”

Instead of doing as he was told, Dazai merely grinned. “I don’t think so! I think we’ll be keeping these!” Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “So we’re stealing from our own organization? What do you even want with the rings?” Dazai typed something into his phone and then looked back up again. “All clear! I told Mori we’re keeping them and he said yes!” Chuuya groaned. Of course Mori would give Dazai whatever. The Port Mafia boss clearly had a favorite subordinate.

“So. What are we doing with them then?” He asked. Dazai looked at the rings and then handed one to Chuuya. “Each of us takes one and then we’re matching. Double Black diamond rings for Double Black!” Chuuya scoffed and took the ring, inspecting it. Well, at least it looked nice. But both rings were too big to fit their fingers properly.

“And just how do we intend on wearing them? If we put them on our hands they’ll just fall off and get lost, idiot.” Apparently, Dazai also had a solution for this specific part as he snatched their rings and two silver chains, transforming them into two necklaces. He handed one necklace to Chuuya and put the other on himself. “We’ll just keep them on these necklaces for now. And maybe they’ll fit if we grow some more, not that I think Chibi will grow much taller~” 

Chuuya immediately sent him a glare. “Stop the nonsense about my height already you asshole! Do you really have no other ideas to annoy me?!” Dazai smirked. “Doesn’t that just mean Chuuya likes it when I annoy him and wants me to do it more?” Chuuya punched his shoulder. “Fuck off.” He grumbled. Then he put on his own necklace and pressed the ring close to his chest. For some reason, his heart was running a marathon in there and it didn’t feel like the battle-typical adrenaline from whenever he fought someone.

He brushed the feeling off. It was just Dazai’s annoyingness messing with his heart function. Nothing strange about it.

A while later, when Hirotsu came to pick them up, he immediately noticed their new accessories and raised a confused eyebrow at them. “These rings- they–” Dazai interrupted him. “They’re pretty, right?” Hirotsu regarded them with an unreadable expression. “Aren’t you two just a little too young to–” But neither of the boys were listening anymore, simply jumping into the back of the car. Hirotsu shook his head, mumbling something about kids being kids and started the engine.

Chuuya used the drive back to HQ as an opportunity to get a few precious minutes of sleep, head leaning on Dazai’s shoulder. He decided not to think too hard about the way he instinctively leaned into the bandaged hand that took off his hat and carded through his hair, simply enjoying the touch.

Back at HQ, the two of them reported back to Mori who, for some unknown reason, took one look at the ring necklaces and simply smirked amused, saying something along the lines of congratulations? Chuuya didn’t know what that shit was about. But Mori was nice enough to let them leave early for once, telling them to do the reports the following day. Chuuya was so relieved, he ended up grabbing Dazai, lifting him up and spinning around in circles while the Mackerel was holding onto him for dear life. Mori only laughed and sent them off with a ‘Good Job’ and Chuuya was just about ready to drop down into his bed and sleep for the next 20 hours straight.

===

II. At 18

Dazai may like alcohol, but he hated overcrowded bars and clubs. The air was thick and stuffy, it was far too warm, and loud, and everyone always seemed to throw stray looks at him, their expressions visibly judging him and everything about his appearance. Dazai made himself appear smaller by pulling his black coat tightly around himself, scooting closer to Chuuya who was sitting on the bar stool right next to him.

Chuuya’s arm found its way around his waist, pulling him closer, red hair tickling the side of Dazai’s face. “You good?” He asked, quietly, only for them to hear. Dazai managed to force a nod but remained glued to Chuuya’s side regardless.

It had been a long day of finishing a whole desk worth of paperwork regarding one of their more complicated missions and after finally getting that done, they decided to go to some club to unwind with a few drinks and good music. Unfortunately, it was a Friday evening. Meaning: Just about every young person in the entirety of Yokohama had the same idea. So now they were sitting together amidst a crowd, feeling almost claustrophobic with everything around them.

Dazai took one look around and shuddered. A group of blackout drunk university students were yelling along to the song playing. Their voices were so loud and off-key, Dazai barely even knew which song it was they were ‘singing’. Looking at the wall wasn’t much better. There were at least five couples standing around in his line of sight, sucking each other’s faces off, some wearing a concerningly little amount of clothing. Dazai looked away before he caught something he definitely did not want to see, focusing on Chuuya instead. 

Looking at Chuuya was much better. Pretty, amazing, breathtakingly beautiful Chuuya who was wearing a black leather jacket, a red shirt, ripped jeans and platform boots, along with his usual choker and hat, his hair tied back to a ponytail. His cheeks were flushed from the wine he had. He was already drunk, being the lightweight he was. Yet somehow, he still managed to regard Dazai with a concerned, caring look that made the brunette’s heart jump up and down in his chest at a speed that shouldn’t be possible.

“Lots of people.” Dazai stated and took another sip of his whiskey. “And they’re doing lots of things.” He added, vaguely gesturing to what he’d internally dubbed as the inappropriate wall. Yes, sure, he did end up in a similar situation with Chuuya pressed up to him quite often, but that wasn’t the same! At least he and Chuuya had the decency to keep their clothes on until they got home! Other than certain people like that one couple he caught a glimpse of while gesturing. He wanted to delete the image of a bra dropping to the ground next to said couple out of his brain immediately. How was it that no one else here seemed to care?

Chuuya sighed and flicked his forehead, almost falling off the chair with his alcohol-induced lack of balance. “Just don’t look. Look at me instead. Pay attention to me. Don’t look at them.” His words had something possessive to them. Something that made a shiver run down Dazai’s spine. He smiled and did just as Chuuya told him to, focusing solely on him. 

Chuuya emptied his wine glass and smirked, moving forward as though he was about to climb onto Dazai’s lap, when they were suddenly interrupted by some guy who would have slammed Chuuya against the counter had Dazai not pulled him out of the way just in time. Chuuya jumped on Dazai and hissed like an angry cat, blue eyes glaring at whoever dared interrupting.

The man was tall. Taller than Dazai and with much more mass. He looked like a college jock with a sports major. “Excuse the intrusion, but may I talk to the redhead?” He asked, voice dripping with higher amounts of alcohol than a human being should be able to ingest without dying. Chuuya scoffed and clung tighter onto Dazai. “I have a partner.” He stated, voice suddenly cold and dangerous. Dazai found himself pulling the Chibi closer. There was something warm in his heart. And soft. And maybe a little possessive. Chuuya was his dog after all.

“I haven’t even said anything!” The man replied, voice mildly angry. Chuuya crossed his arms, trusting Dazai to keep him seated. “You were about to. You’re far from the first guy who tries something on me. And no matter how many people do, I’m not interested. I have a partner.” Again. Yet somehow, the guy still wasn’t getting it.

“Come on. Me and the group have an extra room. There are no rules in there. You can drink, smoke and take whatever you want. And there’s hot guys and girls ready for anything.” Chuuya somehow looked almost sober as he glared even more. “What about ‘No’ Is so difficult to understand?” Dazai asked and joined in on glaring at the stranger. The guy laughed. “What? Because a bandaged freak is so much better than some of the most popular students at university? Come on, shorty, you can do so much better than this.”

Oh well, he’d certainly done it now. Chuuya was seething with anger. Dazai, knowing very well what was about to happen, released his Chibi from his hold, feeling no remorse as the tiny mafioso jumped up and dragged the tall guy down to his height, eyes lit up with his ‘I’m about to kill someone’ expression. 

“Alright you fucking asshole. One: I’m not short. Nobody but my partner gets to call me short. Two: How fucking dare you insult him. I get to do that. You don’t. Fuck off.” Apparently, the guy still didn’t get the memo because he simply smirked. “Aw, what a feisty little redhead. If you’re really that insistent, your apparent ‘partner’ can come too. Though I really don’t understand you. He’s gloomy and weird. What do you see in the guy? I’m better. Every single one of my friends is better. That, I know for sure.”

Well, Dazai prided himself on developing a strong armor against other people’s opinions, but it still did sting a little at times. And while he did agree that Chuuya could get just about anyone he wanted, certainly someone better than Dazai, this stranger was a massive asshole and Dazai wanted nothing more than to punch him in the face for even thinking he could have a shot at someone like Chuuya. Chuuya was far too good for him. For any of them. And while Dazai certainly did hate himself, he definitely knew he treated Chuuya much better than any of these people could, despite the fact they weren’t even dating in the first place.

The man who’d been standing and smirking just a moment earlier was brutally slammed through the crowd and into the wall by a gravity-powered fist. People screeched and jumped out of the way. Everyone’s eyes were on them. On the guy, and on Chuuya, who was standing in front of the person that crashed so hard he’d caused a vaguely human-shaped hole in said wall, a red glow surrounding his body. There was nothing left of his original drunkenness as he stood there. This Chuuya wasn’t a drunk 18 year old, no. This Chuuya was a Port Mafia Executive. A very angry one at that.

The stranger was writhing in pain. Even from his own position a few feet away, Dazai could identify at least 5 different broken bones. His Chibi didn’t look like he regretted possibly ruining this guy’s life at all. Chuuya stepped closer. The guy curled in on himself and winced. The music continued on, but there were no more people singing along. Everyone was much too busy staring with wide eyes and trying to back further and further away from the highly dangerous slug.

“Listen here, fuckface. Do you have fucking ears? Or do I need to carve the words into your face with a knife?” Chuuya asked. The guy quickly shook his head and made a small sound that was probably meant to communicate that he was listening. Chuuya seemed happy enough with that.

“Good. Then let’s get one thing straight. Because apparently you didn’t listen the first time. You are not fucking allowed to insult my partner. It’s not your fucking place to be an asshole because you’re not getting what you want. Also: For fucks sake, if someone says no. That means no. You don’t ask further. You don’t bother them further. You accept their answer and move on. Understood.” It wasn’t a question, it was an order. The guy nodded quickly, unable to speak through his very possible concussion. Chuuya smiled and stepped back, kicking him again for good measure, then returned to Dazai. 

“And while we’re at it: Let me demonstrate how it’s supposed to be.” He was speaking loud and clear, ordering everyone to listen, frightened stares following him as he walked up to stand in front of Dazai, looking up at him from under his hat. Dazai, following his instincts, pushed his head closer so the two were basically nose to nose. “Hi Chibi~” He greeted. Chuuya rolled his eyes. “How many times do I gotta tell you that that nickname fucking sucks?” Dazai shrugged. “Keep trying, Chibi!” The other sighed, then looked up. “Alright alright. Can I fucking kiss you already?” He asked. Dazai found himself smiling. “Sure you can.” He confirmed.

Chuuya’s lips were as soft as always. They moved against his own in the perfectly synchronized motion they’ve practiced since they were two 15 year olds admitting that neither of them had ever kissed anyone in their lives. Chuuya gently bit Dazai’s lip to which the latter opened his mouth, letting a familiar tongue poke in. The Chibi tasted like wine. And while Dazai usually wasn’t too fond of that specific alcoholic beverage, from his partner’s lips, he actually found himself liking it. Maybe even more than his usual whiskey. His arms found their place, hugging around Chuuya’s neck and pulling him closer.

Dazai didn’t know whether they made out for seconds or minutes, but frankly, he couldn’t care less. Eventually though, they had to pull away due to the lack of oxygen in their lungs. The room around them was filled with quiet murmurs and movement, and a lot of the people present were still staring at them. Chuuya placed a bundle of money on the bar, probably enough to pay for their drinks as well as repair the wall. Then he turned his attention to Dazai again, pulling him off the bar stool. “Now, can I take you home?” He asked. And Dazai agreed, because of course he did. They left the club without a care in the world, leaving only chaos and scared people behind.

—

It was just about 4 AM and Chuuya and Dazai were outside on a spontaneous trip to a 24/7 grocery store because the short redhead had been hungry but was too exhausted from their multiple rounds of certain activities to spend much brain power on figuring out what to cook for them in the middle of the night. They’d have a free day ahead of them so it didn’t really matter how late they went to sleep. Not that it ever mattered too much to the severe insomniac Dazai knew he was.

The inside of the store was cold. The walls were lined with huge fridges, the rest of the isles were filled with non-refrigerated products. The cash register was near the entrance and the cashier sitting there looked like she was about to fall asleep in her sitting position, trying to keep herself awake with whatever it was she was reading on her phone.

The two mafiosi walked over to the fridge that offered bento boxes and Chuuya picked up one with fish and one with crab while Dazai was looming behind him, letting his chin rest on Chuuya’s hat. “What’re you buying two for? Did my performance really leave you this hungry?” He asked with a small smirk. Chuuya didn’t even look as he slammed his elbow into Dazai’s ribcage. Dazai whined and dramatically folded over, both arms wrapping around the Chibi’s waist tightly to stabilize himself. Despite the action, Chuuya’s cheeks were slightly pink.

“No you idiot! One for me, one for you. You don’t really think I’ll let you go to sleep without eating something now do you?” Dazai pouted. “But Chibi! I’m not hungry!” Chuuya poked his cheek with a finger. “You’re never hungry, Mackerel. That doesn’t mean your body doesn’t need sustenance to function like any human being does.” Dazai lamented how stupidly caring his partner was. Chuuya was doing truly horrible things to him. Like making sure he ate at least two full, healthy meals a day unless something was wrong and he simply couldn’t.

The cashier startled when they walked up to her to pay. She gave them a strange look but didn't ask any questions, simply ringing up what they bought. Chuuya paid with his card and then pulled Dazai back outside into the cold night air. “Let's find some place to eat, shitty Mackerel.” Dazai allowed him full control over wherever it was they were walking. Chuuya had his unconditional trust.

They ended up at a deserted playground. By day it was probably overrun by children but right now, at such a time, it looked more like the setting of a horror game. Neither of them minded. After all, they were Mafia Executives. There wasn’t much that could scare them. Together, they climbed up on the roof of one of the tall playhouses, sitting shoulder to shoulder, looking into the distance where, despite the late time, there were still cars driving around and lights everywhere. Though on the playground it was silent. Silent enough to listen to each other breathe. Chuuya pulled out their food and handed one box to Dazai who quietly took it, both of them starting to eat.

“...That guy was an asshole.” Dazai commented after a while, angrily chomping down on some rice. Chuuya raised an eyebrow, then sighed. “Still hung up over the strange dude from the club?” He asked. Dazai nodded. “He deserved all the broken bones. He tried hitting on you and didn't want to accept the ‘no’.” 

Dazai hated the flash of possessiveness he always felt when Chuuya was involved. Chuuya wasn't even his in the first place but somehow even watching someone attempt to get him felt terrible. What if Chuuya one day decided he wanted to go with one of the people hitting on him? What would Dazai do then? He and his partner weren’t dating. They were just- them. Soukoku. Yes, they did kiss and fuck occasionally. And yes, they never did any of that with anybody else. But still. What if?

“You think too much, you possessive piece of shit.” Chuuya said and scooted closer, resting his head against Dazai's shoulder. The taller snapped out of his thoughts and stared at his partner. “What?” Was all he managed to ask. Chuuya chuckled and reached up a hand to ruffle brown hair. “No one's taking me away from you. There's no need to worry.” Dazai's heart missed a beat. Of course Chuuya would know. Chuuya always knew.

“Well- You don’t know that. Maybe one day one of these people hitting on you is just your type and then you go home with them rather than me.” His partner gave him an unimpressed stare “Dazai. No.” He said. Dazai looked at him with a pout. “But-” Chuuya sighed and shut him up with a kiss. Somehow, that always worked as the brunette immediately found himself freezing and then kissing back. Chuuya tasted mildly like his bento. Dazai didn’t mind as he felt his muscles relax.

“For a certified genius, you’re really stupid sometimes, shitty Mackerel. I wouldn’t let anyone else close like that. I trust you and you only. And I’ll happily reject any advances.” He said, once again causing Dazai some form of heart malfunction. Really, maybe he should get a professional to check that out. Dying from a Chuuya-induced heart attack didn’t sound like too much fun.

A small smile tugged on Dazai’s lips as he returned to look into the distance. “Well. Same goes for me. You’re the only one who gets to be close to me too, Chibi.” Because it was the truth. Because Chuuya knew him in and out. Because for as much teasing and fighting as they went through day by day, in the end, Chuuya was the only person he’d let his guard down around. Chuuya was the one who got to see all of him. Scars included. And as if to prove just that, Chuuya slightly unraveled the bandages around Dazai’s neck and pressed a kiss to one of the purple-ish marks he had left there earlier. 

The two of them were partners. And Dazai really couldn’t imagine anyone else in Chuuya’s spot. The small redhead was the only one he wanted.

“Chibi?” He asked quietly. “Can you promise me something?” Chuuya hummed as he shoved some more rice into his mouth, Dazai went on. “If you ever do end up finding someone you like better, can you just- tell me? I wanna be aware of it.” Chuuya gave him another unimpressed glare. “Fucking- sure- you bandaged fish. Even though I can tell you that that’s not gonna happen. I promise.” Dazai continued eating as well. “Thanks~ After all, I can’t just give my dog over to anyone! They have to know how to treat him well! I know him best!”

Chuuya yelled at him for the dog comment. Of course he did. Dazai merely laughed and secured his food, just in case the Chibi decided pushing him off the roof would be the best course of action. Thankfully, he managed to get through the night without broken bones. And with what was basically full permission to claim Chuuya every time they were faced with a similar situation! And he certainly made sure to use said permission.

Chuuya didn’t mind. And if the two of them got banned from half the clubs in Yokohama for injuring other people, that was only for them to know and laugh about.

===

III. At 18, again

When Chuuya first heard of Dazai’s defection, he was angry at many things. At everything, to be more precise, but mostly at whatever caused his partner to leave the organization without notice. On the first night, he got himself drunk on expensive wine and cried into his pillow. Later down the line, he’d most definitely deny the crying part and replace it with celebrating the Mackerel’s disappearance.

Kouyou had talked Mori into giving him a week off. To recover from his most recent mission, but also to come to terms with the loss of his partner. As if Chuuya had to come to terms with such a surreal thing. Especially since he, just the day after Dazai’s defection, found the same Dazai breaking into his apartment through the window. And by the end of that night, Chuuya had willingly taken on the possibly highly dangerous responsibility to keep his Mackerel safe in his home while he was in hiding. Could that end with him being labeled a traitor as well? Sure. Did he care? No, not really. Plus, he knew that Dazai was good enough to keep it a secret.

It went down something like this.

—

Chuuya genuinely didn’t know how much sleep he’d gotten. He was given some time off and, considering the circumstances, had spent a lot of this time sleeping and avoiding the very real fact that Dazai was gone. It was weird. Usually, Chuuya’d never get much rest in his home. The fish was always just around the corner, ready with yet another plan to make his life harder and cause him chronic headaches. But right now, it was silent. There was no Dazai. No pranks. Just his home. He’d gotten so used to his partner’s presence that it felt weird without him.

Chuuya dragged himself up from his bed, throwing on a big hoodie over his sleeping shirt (Both of which belonged to Dazai, but Chuuya would insist on it being pure coincidence), and moved out of his room into the kitchen for some water and maybe some snacks as breakfast. Or well, dinner, Chuuya supposed. It was 11 PM. He slept the day away.

Chuuya was in the middle of making some food (A crab dish. His muscle memory had taken on the task of cooking) when he heard a quiet thump from the living room. Now, Chuuya was a Port Mafia executive, so he wasn’t really scared of someone breaking in for whatever reason, but he still made sure to immediately cease all movement and listen up after swiping a kitchen knife from the counter to use as a makeshift weapon.

Footsteps padded across the carpet floor and he immediately dropped his knife the moment he recognized their pattern. A pattern so familiar, he could never mistake it for anything or anyone else. These were the same footsteps that walked at his side for three years. Without a doubt. And so he immediately rushed to the living room where he came face to face with the person who broke in. Said person froze and stared at him. He was missing the bandages on his face, but Chuuya would recognize him anywhere.

“Hey Chibi.” His voice sounded dead, defeated, and like it was about to break. “Mind if I borrow your couch? Just for one night. Sleeping on the streets is uncomfortable and I’d like to get some rest before I inevitably have to make do with that.” Chuuya didn’t even know what to say. Here he stood, the traitor who escaped the Port Mafia, looking at him with barely held back tears, asking for a place to stay the night.

Chuuya walked up to him. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Dazai didn’t move. Chuuya punched his chest (But without actually harming him). Dazai nearly fell backwards and looked at him, before turning back towards the open window he must’ve come through. “Alright then- I’ll- be on my way. Sorry. It probably wasn’t my best idea to come here.”

And really, Chuuya couldn’t have that now could he? This was Dazai. And despite the fights and bickering, Chuuya still cared about the guy. So before he could leave again, the smaller man rushed to wrap his arms around his partner from behind, holding him in place, face buried against his back.

Chuuya felt Dazai’s entire body shudder violently as he stopped in his tracks. “...Chibi?” He asked. Chuuya simply hugged him tighter. “Why take the couch if you could just come to bed instead?” He asked quietly. An invitation. A silent question for Dazai to stay, even just for a bit. Because Chuuya knew that whatever may have happened, they could figure something out. Together. As always. And Dazai knew that too.

Dazai sacked into his arms as though all his bones suddenly turned into liquid, trusting Chuuya to not let him fall. Chuuya sighed and carried him to the couch where he laid him down, nudging his legs to the side so he could sit next to the taller man. Like a magnet, Dazai immediately turned over, wrapped his arms around Chuuya’s waist and permanently attached himself to his body, face buried in his lap. The redhead didn’t say a word as he ran his fingers through brown hair. The strands were stuck together. Dazai really needed a shower. Chuuya would most certainly force him to take one after an explanation.

“So?” He asked. “Got anything to tell me?” Dazai’s grip tightened. Like this, he looked so much smaller than usual. A sudden feeling of protectiveness washed over Chuuya, one that couldn’t be pushed away. And so he turned his partner over carefully, before resting their foreheads against one another. Dazai allowed one of his hands to come up and grip onto the back of Chuuya’s head tightly, pulling him close. And Chuuya let him.

It didn’t take long for the brunette to break after that. It started with shaking, then continued with silent sobbing, then Dazai buried his face against Chuuya’s stomach and the latter felt the telltale wetness of tears seeping into his clothes. Neither of them spoke, but there was a quiet, mutual understanding between them.

Chuuya allowed his partner to cry until no more tears came out, then he pried Dazai off of him to wipe the wet streaks from his face. The bandaged male took a few deep breaths before speaking again. “Odasaku. He killed him. Well, let him die. Just like that.” Chuuya wanted to strangle someone and it wasn’t Dazai himself for a change. Of course he knew the name. He was one of Dazai’s closest friends, someone he genuinely cared about. Chuuya could relate to the feeling of losing someone close to you. His personal example and a story that always came with some hurt: The Flags. Chuuya also didn’t have to be a genius to know who it was that let Oda die.

“Sorry for your loss.” Was what he settled for. He couldn’t say much more to make the other feel better about this. Dazai sighed. “Odasaku told me something, right before he died. He told me that he wants me to go live a life in the light. A life where I help people. I don’t know if I can do it, Chuuya. I mean- Me? Becoming a good person? You growing six feet tall has a higher possibility of happening.” Under normal circumstances, Chuuya already would’ve yelled at him and pushed him off the couch, but these weren’t normal circumstances, this was different.

“Well, but it was his dying wish. And I don’t want to go against that. I’m having my records cleared. And in two years, I’ll be employed at a Detective agency. I’ll just- have to stay in hiding till then. Can’t be that difficult now can it?” Dazai attempted to chuckle. It didn’t work out that well.

“So what? Were you just gonna stay on the streets for two years then?” Chuuya asked in mild disbelief. Dazai shrugged and stared at the ceiling. “Not like I’ve never done so before. I managed before Mori took me in, I’ll manage for two years until I have a place to stay again.” And really, Chuuya couldn’t believe this nonsense. Sometimes this guy truly was such an idiot.

“Okay. Two years then. We can manage that. You’ve got any belongings besides what is here already that you have to move in?” Dazai blinked at him, as though he wasn’t quite able to process. “Chuuya. What do you mean?” He asked, carefully. Chuuya flicked his forehead. “You’re staying here, obviously. With me. Unless you want us to move to a different apartment? We can arrange that, I’m sure. Not like this is the only place I own.” 

Dazai stared at him, wide-eyed. “Chuuya- Did you miss the part about me leaving the Port Mafia?” He asked. Chuuya started brushing some of the knots out Dazai’s hair. “No you stupid fish, I didn’t miss that part. Doesn’t mean you have to make do with the streets when you have a perfectly good place to stay at. You’ve already intruded on my home for three years so I don’t see why you wouldn't just do so for some more years. You never leave me alone after all, no matter what I try to tell you. Plus: Someone has to take care of your lazy ass because you’re notoriously horrendous at doing so yourself. You’ll starve or simply die due to a lack of self-care and then you won’t ever be able to make do on your friend’s dying wish.”

Apparently, what Chuuya said must’ve broken the great demon prodigy. Because Dazai visibly malfunctioned at the other’s words. The expression of disbelief on his face was so funny, Chuuya couldn’t help the smile tugging on his lips. Dazai locked eyes with him. “Chibi. If anyone finds out you’ll be labeled a traitor as well. Do you know how much danger you’re putting yourself into by simply letting me stay the night? Nevermind letting me stay further!” Chuuya shrugged and poked his nose. “I know. I’ll be fine. I’ll just have to play my part as the heartbroken partner now while you stay home and hide. We’re gonna be alright.”

It devolved into a staring match between them. But Chuuya already knew he won before it was even concluded. It was as though all tension left Dazai’s body the moment he visibly gave up on convincing Chuuya that this was a bad idea. “You’re too nice, Chuuya. You’d do a million times better than me in the light.” Dazai mumbled. Something in Chuuya twisted at that and he dealt with it the only way he knew how to- Pulling Dazai’s head up for a kiss. “You’ll do just fine, Mackerel.” He concluded before getting up, dropping his partner on the couch. “Go take a fucking shower while I make us food. You stink.” And with that, he returned to the kitchen.

Somehow, in his earlier daze, he made enough food for two. Probably another part of his damned muscle memory from so many years of feeding not only himself, but also his pet fish. 

Chuuya heard the shower quietly in the background and moved to the bedroom to pick something for Dazai to wear. Knowing the guy, he surely forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom with him. He made sure to pick a comfy outfit. Dazai would never admit it, but there were certain clothes he owned that made him feel better whenever he was going through a bad day. And today certainly was a bad day, that was for sure. Tonight’s outfit would be a blue hoodie with a few fish printed on the front, as well as some gray sweatpants and some fluffy socks. He left the clothes on the counter next to the bathroom sink, followed by a muted ‘thanks’ from his partner, and returned to finish their meal.

The redhead was just about done with cooking when quiet footsteps tapped through the apartment and stopped at the entry to the kitchen. Feeling the eyes lingering on him, Chuuya hummed to beckon the other closer. And closer he came, wrapping his arms around Chuuya from behind, face buried in his shoulder. Much to his surprise, neither of Dazai’s wrists were bandaged, the long, white scars that littered his arms peeking out from under the hoodie. Something that, as he found out just a few moments later, also applied to the rest of Dazai’s body. None of his usual bandages were present. None.

Dazai seemingly understood the question without it being asked in the first place as he avoided Chuuya’s look. “Too tired. I’ll put them on if Chibi wants me to, but I thought that since he’s seen all of them many times, and since no one else will see me for now, it would be alright.” He whispered. Chuuya punched his shoulder gently, then pulled him into a hug. Dazai’s bandages, like so much about him, functioned as a mask, an extra layer of protection so no one would truly see him or any of his vulnerability. But here, in their home, he was willing to drop the mask and be himself. Something Chuuya would never take for granted. “Sit down at the table, Mackerel. Food’s ready.” He said, sending him off with a kiss to one of the scars on his neck. They ate in silence. But that was alright. Between the two of them, there was no need for words.

Later that night, when Chuuya finally managed to convince his partner to get some sleep, they laid in bed together with familiar domesticity, limbs intertwined, holding each other close. Chuuya was playing with Dazai’s hair again. “See. Isn’t this better than the streets? At least it’s comfortable. I can’t believe you were just gonna leave like that you fucking idiot.” Chuuya said. Dazai curled into him further. “I was trying, y’know. I tried- But-” A break in between words, Chuuya patiently waited for whatever came next. “...I couldn’t just leave Chibi behind.” Dazai then finally admitted. 

Now that caught the redhead off-guard as he looked at his partner surprised. Dazai hid in Chuuya’s chest. “Yea- I- the couch and sleep wasn’t the only reason I came here. I couldn’t leave you. Not like that. I kind of hoped you’d immediately kick me out and tell me to never come back so I wouldn't feel too bad about disappearing from your life. I just wanted to hear your voice one more time. I also briefly thought about asking you to run away with me, but I wouldn’t want to make you drop the entire life you built with the Port Mafia just for me. So that was out of the question.”

Dazai’s voice made a warm feeling crawl into his skin and around his heart. His partner couldn’t abandon him. His partner missed him. His partner wanted to see him again despite leaving the mafia. His partner cared about him. Not that he didn’t know the last part, but hearing Dazai admit to it was just different. In a good way. Almost romantic. Not that there was any romance involved. This was just their own version of partnership. They’d always been different from what people would call ‘conventional’.

“Well. You’re here now. And I’ll be damned before letting you abandon me like that.” Chuuya responded. Dazai looked up at him for a moment, then smiled. “You’re right~ A good owner would never abandon his loyal dog! So I’ll stick around for now.” Of course Chuuya punched him in response to that. But hearing Dazai’s quiet laughter, despite the circumstances, was worth the tease.

The following morning, Chuuya was awoken by his fish bringing him breakfast in bed.

When Chuuya started working again and came home exhausted, Dazai was there to offer him coffee and snacks.

That was how it went from then. 

At work, Chuuya perfectly acted as a bitter partner, getting his job done and making sure to complain lots and lots about Dazai to Kouyou as well as his subordinates.

But at home, there’d always be a certain someone waiting for him.

Dazai may have left the mafia, but he didn’t leave Chuuya.

===

IV. At 20

Dazai had expected as much when he started working for the ADA. Being a ‘good’ person, as Oda wanted him to, was downright exhausting. No longer could he solve problems by the means of violence. Sure, his strategies and manipulative abilities still came in handy, but it was different from taking out people who were in the way with a gun. Old habits die hard at times. And especially in some cases, it required a lot of mental strength to not give in and kill someone.

“I’m off.” He told his fellow agency members, Ranpo, Kunikida and Yosano. It had been far too long of a day and so many things almost went wrong. All he wanted at that moment was to go home and demand hugs from the Slug he knew was waiting for him already.

Ranpo grinned as he waved him goodbye, Yosano absentmindedly mumbled something along the lines of ‘See ya tomorrow’ and Kunikida regarded him with a weary look before sending him off. Dazai stepped out of the agency, walked down through the building and took a long breath of fresh air to calm his pent-up anxiety about the day down.

Before he could move to walk home though, he was interrupted by a familiar bike that stopped right in front of him. The biker was wearing a helmet for once, Dazai couldn’t see his face, but of course he knew all-too-well who this was. “Chibi?!” He asked in surprise. The man threw an additional helmet at him. “Get on before someone notices us.” He hissed and Dazai did just that.

Usually, Dazai wasn’t the biggest fan of Chuuya’s bike driving, but today he was careful and therefore it could almost be called a ‘comfortable’ ride. Soon enough, they arrived home and parked the vehicle in the underground garage of the giant building where Chuuya’s penthouse apartment was. Chuuya pulled off his helmet and shook out his hair before grabbing Dazai by the hand and dragging him towards the elevator, up the building, and to the apartment. 

“Any reason you decided to drive to the agency to get me today, Chibi?” He asked once they were both inside, putting their outside clothes away. Chuuya sighed. “Had a feeling you were having a shitty day. So I decided to come and get you just in case your way home would give you some ideas of rivers you haven’t jumped into in a while.” Dazai regarded his partner quietly for a moment, then smiled slightly. “So Chuuya does care about me~” Chuuya visibly blushed and sent him a glare, but both of them knew that it was all just part of their dynamic. 

Sometimes, Dazai thought of himself as undeserving of Chuuya’s presence in his life. The short mafioso not only hadn’t held it against him when he left the mafia, no. He also provided him with a safe home where he spent two years being unemployed, making no money and waiting for his new job without many complaints. And for all the times Chuuya scolded him for using his credit card for the most mundane of purchases, he never actually got mad. He kind of just- let him. 

Dazai walked to their living room and dropped face first onto their couch, burying himself in the soft cushions. Next to him, Chuuya got down on his knees on the floor and rested his head on the edge of the couch, one hand messing through the other's hair. “Alright. Out with it. Something happened today, right?” The redhead asked. Dazai sighed and turned over to look into Chuuya's eyes. “What gave it away?” He asked. Chuuya flicked his forehead. “The fact that you're in your overly exhausted mode and the fact that you haven't made a single height joke since I picked you up from work. Plus, I had a feeling. And you know that whenever I have a feeling about your mental health, I'm right 99% of the time. So, what happened?”

The bandaged man watched him for a few moments. Chuuya waited with all the patience of someone who knew exactly how to deal with Dazai. And Dazai knew that there was nothing he could hide from his partner.

“I almost killed someone today.” He stated. Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “Oh? How did that happen?” Dazai shifted uncomfortably and avoided looking at the other. Chuuya knew him. Chuuya had seen all of him. But even now it was difficult to talk about how much of a mess he made earlier that day. 

“We were sent to a case involving an organization that makes money by trafficking young children with abilities. They kept them in an old, abandoned research institute outside of the city and imprisoned them within glass cages. All equipment indicates that they were also experimented on. We were just supposed to raid the building along with the police, apprehend the group and free the children. But it kinda spiraled out of control a little.” Chuuya's hand stopped moving through his hair, now resting on his cheek. The hand was warm, infusing his body with the energy he needed to keep talking.

“There was one special kid involved. A young girl with bright red hair and blue eyes. We walked in on one of the scientists taking her hostage via threatening to hurt her with a strong taser. She looked really scared. I don’t know why it made me so angry. Maybe she reminded me of someone.” Chuuya remained silent, which Dazai was quite thankful for. But he knew that Chuuya knew what he meant. And Chuuya knew that Dazai knew that he knew what he meant.

“Anyway. I ended up firing at the scientist. Wanted to hit him right between the eyes but managed to redirect my shooting direction last second and hit his shoulder instead. Still, it didn’t fool anyone. They knew where I was initially aiming at. But well, at least he let the girl go. Was pretty easy to apprehend the guy after that. But my colleagues haven't exactly spoken to me much since then. And Kunikida kept throwing me these cautious glances like I was about to pull out a gun and open fire on the agency office at any moment. Not that I blame him. But my day still sucked.”

Dazai found himself being lifted up into the small man’s arms who then proceeded to carry him off the couch and towards their bedroom. Once there, Chuuya deposited (More like threw) him onto their bed and then jumped in next to him and pulled him in his arms. And while Chuuya was small, that didn’t mean he didn’t have a comfortable chest to bury his face in. So that was what Dazai did. And for a couple of minutes, they just lay there, hugging, relaxing in each other’s company.

“It’s difficult, being in the light.” Dazai whispered after a while. Chuuya hummed, running a hand through his hair. It was nice and comforting. Chuuya had always possessed the uncanny ability to know exactly what it was that Dazai needed. “Day by day I question if I can do it. My blood runs mafia black. And especially days like this make me question why I even try to pretend that I’m a good person.

Chuuya sighed next to him and pulled Dazai up to bump their foreheads together. “But you’re doing great, aren’t ya? Take today’s mission as an example. You freed a bunch of innocent kids, didn’t you? Wasn’t that exactly what your friend wanted for you? Just ‘cause it’s difficult sometimes doesn’t make it impossible! I don’t think it’ll ever be a linear road. But I believe it’s part of the journey. So don’t worry, shitty Mackerel. I’m more than certain your stubborn ass will manage. I’ve known you for 5 years, and I know you’re not one to back down from a challenge.”

Dazai regarded him for quite some time. There was evening light falling in through the windows, bathing Chuuya’s face in a warm glow, his freckles out on display. He looked good like this, and Dazai still couldn’t fathom how it was somehow him who got to see Chuuya like this. Something he’d most definitely cherish until the day Chuuya went off to settle with someone who could give him all the happiness he deserved. It was moments like this, where he had to remind himself that they were just partners. Not lovers. And that he merely functioned as a placeholder until Chuuya found someone. But sometimes he couldn’t help but allow himself the illusion that this was how he’d spend the rest of his life, with Chuuya by his side.

“Y’know Chibi, sometimes I think you’d be more cut out for a life in the light than me.” Dazai admitted. Chuuya snorted and leaned closer to bite his nose. “Shut up you ass. I’m the mafioso, you’re the detective. I wouldn’t do well in the light, not after everything, and not with what I am.” And well, Dazai was unfortunately used to Chuuya disregarding his own humanity. But that was okay. That just meant Dazai had to believe in said humanity even harder.

“I think you’d be a great detective! You could easily sniff out clues about any case, considering the dog you are!” He cheered. Chuuya sent him a deadpan look, then rolled away from him, releasing him from his arms. “And here I was trying to be soft. I’m taking away your cuddle privileges for tonight.” The short male mumbled. 

Dazai gasped in disbelief and immediately jumped up to throw himself on top of his partner. “Chuuya! You can’t just do that to me! You’re so cruel! How dare you! Come right back and hug me again!” He whined, trying to pry Chuuya’s arms open so he could slither in the space between them and the other’s body again and make himself comfortable close to Chuuya’s heart. But Chuuya simply didn’t relent!

It was of no use. Maybe Dazai really just had to use his secret weapon. A weapon that always worked wonders on the small redhead. Chuuya seemed like he read his mind. “I swear to fucking god Dazai if you actually do what I think you’re doing, I’ll make you sleep on the couch tonight!” Obviously, that wouldn’t do. And so Dazai happily grinned at him. “Too late!” He spoke before attacking Chuuya with his hands, wiggling them all over the man’s sides. Chuuya’s threats were swiftly cut off by the ensuing cackling and Dazai already knew he won. Chuuya screeched out profanities between Dazai’s aggressive tickling and the accompanying kisses that were placed all over his face. “God fucking damnit Dazai! I am actually going to murder you!” Chuuya complained loudly, but Dazai didn’t want to listen. He simply continued stealing the Chibi’s breath with tickling and kisses alike.

Dazai only really stopped when both of them were thoroughly out of breath, leaning down one last time to kiss the other and shove his tongue in his mouth. Chuuya seemingly accepted his predicament and sighed into the kiss, his now once again free arms coming up to wrap around Dazai’s neck. They kissed and kissed, until both of them were severely lacking oxygen and begrudgingly had to stop. Chuuya was under him, spread out on the bed, looking oh-so-pretty, his messy red hair surrounding his head like a halo made of flames. Blue eyes locked with brown ones and Dazai couldn’t find it in himself to look away. But that was alright, because Chuuya didn’t look away either, both of them simply staring at each other softly. Though eventually, Chuuya broke the silence.

“Like what you see?” He asked, a small smirk playing on his lips. Dazai grinned, already feeling much better than earlier. Chuuya was simply too powerful. “I certainly do. And I think that, since I had such a shitty day, you should comfort me by letting me bottom today!” Chuuya rolled his eyes but then smiled. “Alright alright, you can have this today you fucking idiot.” Then, Chuuya rolled them over so now he was the one on top while pressing Dazai into the mattress.

Yea, the day might’ve been annoying, but Chuuya was good at making him feel better. And the moment the redhead leaned down to press their lips together while simultaneously removing Dazai’s shirt, Dazai let himself forget about everything else temporarily and simply focused on his partner.

===

V. At 22

Chuuya looked up at the building in front of him, contemplating what he was about to do. While it had been two years since Dazai started working here, he’d never exactly been at the agency on friendly terms. The alliance between their organizations was still fresh and Chuuya was aware it was risky, but…

But it had been three days! Three days of Dazai being stuck 24/7 in his office, he and his colleagues working on a difficult case! Three days since he’d last seen his partner at home! And that was just unacceptable. Plus: The agency had no idea how to deal with Dazai full-time. How to get him to eat, to drink, to take care of himself, none of them knew how to do it! 

The house had been annoyingly quiet with the shitty idiot’s absence, the only contact being messages and occasional calls. And Chuuya couldn’t even sleep properly! He really didn’t know how others did it, sleeping without a giant leech-mackerel hybrid clinging onto them all throughout the night. 

Chuuya was also mildly concerned for Dazai’s coworkers. As a professional at existing around Dazai, he was more than aware that the bandaged beanpole wasn’t easy. He was a menace through and through, always messed with everyone around him, always manipulated others to do his bidding and never gave anyone a single moment of genuine rest! So of course, to support the agency in having to deal with Dazai, and to see whether the man was even still alive without Chuuya reminding him of basic survival instincts such as hunger and the need for water, the mafioso was using his day off to pay them a visit. He took a deep breath, and then he walked inside.

The employees at the coffee shop under the agency didn’t bat an eye. Considering who the ADA were, it wasn’t unusual to have strange guests stroll in and up the stairs. Plus: Chuuya was wearing a casual outfit today. Gray jeans, a large, blue hoodie he was pretty sure belonged to Dazai, a black jacket he was also pretty sure belonged to Dazai, as well as his regular hat and choker. He wasn’t wearing his mafia getup and that probably made him a little more difficult to categorize.

Chuuya, unlike his partner, was a polite person. And so he did knock on the agency door rather than barging in in typical Dazai fashion (Really, Chuuya had no idea why the mafia allowed a literal traitor onto their grounds which usually led to said traitor breaking into Chuuya’s office and occupying his couch). The muffled voices from inside stopped whatever discussion they were having. Chuuya picked up on the weretiger’s voice telling everyone he’d go get the door.

A few moments later, the door swung open. Dazai’s new protege stood in front of him. “Hello? How may I help you sir—- AAAH-” Atsushi immediately jumped at least 5 feet back with a startled yell, staring at Chuuya who winced at the scare. Well, seemed like this kid recognized him, at least. “CHUUYA NAKAHARA?! W- WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE–” He stuttered out, voice far too loud to have any shot at masking the fear it held. Chuuya sighed. “I’m not here on business. More on private terms.” He stated.

His attention drifted away from the startled weretiger. Everyone in the room was staring at him with varying types of caution. The only people who didn’t look at least mildly surprised were the genius detective with the snack obsession and his dorky fish whose eyes widened with glee the moment he spotted Chuuya. “Chibi!~” He cheered loudly, nearly jumping over his desk to rush forward and crush Chuuya in a hug, the mafioso barely managing to float the items he brought to the next table before his stupid Mackerel barrelled into him and buried his face in his shoulder.

“My Chuuya battery is empty. Need to recharge.” He mumbled, only for the two of them to hear. Chuuya shook his head and hugged him back, petting his hair with one hand. It felt slightly greasy. Chuuya made a mental note to at least take the man home for one night to get him into a shower. “There there, recharge all you want, asshole.” He said in return.

When he looked back up, all eyes were on them. It was so silent, the drop of Kunikida’s pen to the floor could be heard echoing around the room. Chuuya made an effort to shut the door and stalk over, closer to the agency members, despite the octopus-like entity clinging onto him. “Sorry for the sudden intrusion. I came to check whether shitty Dazai is still alive and to see if he’s driven you all to insanity yet.” An amused laugh could be heard from the corner of the room. It was Ranpo. The only one who wasn’t frozen in disbelief at the display of a clingy Mackerel in his natural habitat that was Chuuya’s personal space. “We’re doing fine, Mr. Fancy Hat. Though Dazai has spent these past few days whining about how he misses his dear slug so, so much! So I’m glad you’re here now!” Dazai’s quiet ‘shut up.’ was easily muffled in Chuuya’s shoulder.

Chuuya made his way over to Dazai’s desk and deposited the taller onto his chair. Dazai whined at the loss of contact and made grabby hands towards Chuuya, a pout on his face. Chuuya rolled his eyes and bent forward to kiss the idiot on the forehead. Tsk. He hated how Dazai, despite sitting down, still somehow was almost as tall as Chuuya standing up. “Oh get over it already, Mackerel. I’m not fucking going anywhere. I’m just getting you the coffee I brought.” And with that, fully ignoring the entire agency’s gaping expressions at what he just did, Chuuya summoned the items he placed on the other desk towards himself, setting them down on Dazai’s desk before taking his seat on Dazai’s lap so the man could go and continue leeching onto him again. Though he did happily take the coffee to go he brought, thanking Chuuya by pressing an obnoxious kiss to the back of his neck. Chuuya accepted his fate, fully aware that Dazai probably wouldn’t let him move for quite some time.

“I brought cookies for everyone. Dazai told me you’re working hard so I figured you could use some. I baked them myself and they’re not poisoned or otherwise laced. Feel free to try some.” He offered. The entire agency remained silent, some of them unable to move, jaws basically on the floor. That is, until the blond boy with the hat, Kenji, Chuuya believed, stepped forward and opened the box, trying one of the cookies. His eyes lit up with sparkles and he immediately took another one. “They taste good! Thanks gravity man! Everyone, come try them!” And, well, that was enough to break the remaining agency out of their trance as all of them took some cookies as well. The expressions on their faces were enough to confirm that they liked them.

Soon enough, the discussion about the case continued after much reassurance from Chuuya that he wouldn’t mind if they continued, nor would relay any of the sensitive information to the Port Mafia. The agency still seemed skeptical at first, but once Dazai spoke up and told them that Chuuya really wasn’t here to cause problems, it wasn’t difficult anymore. Apparently they trusted the bandaged beanpole enough. 

The tall guy with glasses was pointing out things on a whiteboard while everyone else listened and occasionally commented ideas. Well, everyone except Dazai who, as Chuuya soon noticed, had fallen asleep, truly fell asleep, while hugging him, chin hooked over his shoulder, all despite the coffee. Chuuya noticed the eyebags. He looked fucking tired. It was quite obvious that he hadn’t been sleeping well the past days, most likely not at all. At some point, the glasses guy Kunikida almost yelled at Dazai, but immediately shut up upon realizing the man was dead asleep. He opened his mouth in disbelief, then closed it again, then regarded Chuuya with a calculating expression.

“Is he asleep? Like- Actually?” The doctor, Yosano, asked as she noticed the situation as well. Chuuya reached up a hand to card his fingers through brunette hair. “Yea. Idiot looks like he hasn’t slept at all. Seriously, did you guys not take any breaks?” He asked quietly. Everyone was staring at him intently and Chuuya found himself asking whether he had said something wrong. But his questions were answered soon enough.

“We did take breaks. But Dazai-san didn’t sleep. He said that he couldn’t.” Atsushi said. Chuuya looked over at his tired partner who he knew was genuinely asleep. Goddamnit Dazai, he just could’ve told Chuuya that he couldn’t sleep well without him. Chuuya would’ve come over sooner. But alas, Dazai still fucking sucked at asking for help.

“He’s got severe insomnia. And it gets worse when I’m not around. Could you do me a favor and tell me next time he’s not getting any sleep on one of these all-nighter investigations? I’ve been spending the past seven years trying to fix the 15 years of issues before that. His sleep problems are some of them.” Now everyone seemed even more confused. Chuuya sighed. “Haven’t you noticed that he barely stays at the dorms at night?” He asked the group. Tanizaki was the one to answer the question. “Sure we did. But we usually just assume he’s off trying to kill himself or bothering some women. He always comes back at some point, so we’re not too concerned.”

Chuuya took one of his own cookies. The slight lean forward made the arms around his waist tighten in their sleep. “Well. He isn’t doing either of these things. He lives and sleeps with me.” He didn’t think too much of it. But the agency apparently did. The room gasped and Chuuya pressed one hand over Dazai’s two to ensure that the man would continue to rest, even if the sounds woke him up.

“Wait a minute? What do you mean, Dazai lives with you?!” Kunikida whisper-shouted. Chuuya shrugged. “He does. What about it?” Well, it was safe to say that the agency took quite a while to calm down after the newly uncovered information. Chuuya let them wallow in their confusion, instead focusing on drawing patterns on his partner’s arms. The room quieted down again. Chuuya could feel all of them stare at him.

“What?” He snapped, though still maintaining a volume that wouldn’t wake his idiot pet fish up. The agency exchanged looks and in the end, it was Yosano who spoke up. “Well, it’s just- We would’ve never expected that Dazai is dating someone. Much less a mafia executive. And now I feel betrayed that he never even told me about it!”

Now, it was Chuuya’s turn to be confused. “DATING?! HAH?!” He shouted, just to then immediately wince when Dazai stirred and blinked his eyes open. “Chibi? What–” He started, but couldn’t continue much further. “Dazai you traitor! I thought we were friends! How dare you not tell me that you have a boyfriend?!” Yosano accused, arms crossed. To his credit, Dazai looked almost as confused as Chuuya felt. He stared at her. “Boyfriend? What- I don’t–” “–LIES! All LIES! If he’s not your boyfriend then what is he?! Your husband?!” Yosano continued. Dazai looked around the room perplexed. But everyone looked just as betrayed and confused, save for Ranpo, who was cackling in a corner, and Kyouka with her non-expression.

“Who are you even talking about?” Dazai asked, exasperated. Yosano looked at him like she couldn’t believe her ears. “Who are we talking about? It’s obviously Nakahara! Y’know, the guy who's sitting on your LAP and who you just fell asleep on?!” Chuuya felt an incoming headache. What even gave these agency members such a stupid idea? Him and Dazai weren’t–

“We’re not dating, Yosano-sensei! What even made you think that?” Dazai voiced the thoughts Chuuya was having. Yosano seemed exasperated. “Don’t lie to me! You guys are literally clinging onto one another like only lovers do! Plus, you literally kissed each other earlier! It’s disgustingly sweet! If you’re not dating, then how the fuck would you explain that?” She complained. The headache intensified, and apparently it came with the addition of warmth in his cheeks. Chuuya suddenly felt the urge to take Dazai, go home, throw him into their bed and spend the rest of the day cuddling and sleeping.

“We’re partners. Not boyfriends.” Dazai insisted and Chuuya agreed with a nod. Ranpo apparently decided that it would be his time to join in. “You guys were partners back when Dazai was still with the mafia. You’re in different organizations now. Shouldn’t it be impossible to be partners for you two then?” He asked, a sly smirk on his face. Chuuya glared at him. “What's got the nature of our work to do with us being partners? We’ve always been partners! Whether in different organizations or not!” He stated. Ranpo looked like he’d won the jackpot and Chuuya suddenly felt like he had fallen into some kind of trap. “But if the organization doesn’t matter, doesn’t that just mean you two are romantic partners?” He asked. Chuuya stared at him. His brain wasn’t quite cooperating with him anymore at this point.

“Nah. We just live together, kiss, and occasionally fuck! We’re not dating.” Dazai continued. Now everyone in the agency was giving them various funny looks. Yosano locked them with a deadpan stare. Kunikida broke his pen. Atsushi flushed bright red, The siblings looked like they really wanted to leave, Kenji looked confused as to what their words meant, Kyouka was Kyouka and Ranpo was laughing again.

“...So. You’re not dating. But you are dating.” Yosano asked. It was more of a statement than a question. Chuuya groaned. “We’re not dating goddamnit! What’s so difficult to understand about that?” And now, everyone looked like they wanted to die, an awkward silence lingering in the room for a few seconds. Then Yosano stalked over to them, dragged them out of the chair, pushed them towards the door and glared at them. “Alright then. You guys get this disgusting PDA out of the office until you figure yourselves out!” She stated and crossed her arms.

And well, Chuuya didn’t exactly know what was wrong now, but he wouldn’t complain about getting out of there, and Dazai probably wouldn’t either. So instead of asking the exasperated Yosano further questions, they settled on leaving. Home was a much more comfortable place to cuddle anyways.

They weren’t dating.

They were partners, sure, but dating?

Dating, as in lovers? Now that wasn’t them now was it?

…Right?!

===

+I. At 22, again

To celebrate the successful conclusion of their difficult case, the ADA invited themselves over to Dazai’s place. Well, Dazai’s and Chuuya’s place. Chuuya had begrudgingly agreed to cook dinner for everyone and Dazai was helping him. Well, if helping could be defined by sitting on the kitchen counter next to Chuuya and annoying him as much as possible. But Chuuya hadn’t thrown him out yet, so Dazai wouldn’t leave.

Meanwhile the ADA members were looking around and exploring the apartment. To say they had been basically blown away by just how expensive everything looked would be an understatement. But well, Chuuya was a Port Mafia executive after all. And the mafia paid well. They allowed Dazai’s colleagues access to every room besides the bedroom and the bathroom that belonged to it. Those spaces were private, just for him and Chuuya to see.

“You think they’ll like the food?” Chuuya asked for the 10th time that minute. Dazai sighed. His partner was simply too nice of a host. He wanted everything to be perfect for the guests, despite his initial annoyance at even having to do this. “They’ll love it, Chibi. I’m sure. You’re good at cooking, in case you haven’t noticed.” He tried to reassure the tiny mafioso. Chuuya responded with a nod, then stirred the pot that held the seafood soup they’d eat along with the fried rice and homemade sushi.

It didn’t take much longer until the food was done. Everyone who was there was already sitting at the table. All agency members besides the president were there. No one knew where the man even was. He was probably out and about playing with some of the stray cats he liked to feed. And all of them looked impressed at Chuuya’s cooking.

Dazai felt a warm sense of pride well up in his body as he watched his colleagues enjoy his partner’s food so much. This was his Chuuya. And he was doing a great job, fitting into the small group Dazai could almost consider his family. It felt nice. Despite their reservations towards the mafia, they’d given Chuuya a chance. And Chuuya was doing his best to not disappoint them. And in Dazai’s eyes, he was doing a great job. Such a good dog, his Chibi.

“I had no idea you were this good at cooking, Chuuya-san!” Atsushi said with a bright smile. Chuuya smiled back at him. “Well, if you spend seven plus years taking care of a picky Mackerel who would burn down the kitchen if you were to let him anywhere near a stove, you learn a lot of things.” He said, elbowing Dazai’s shoulder. Dazai gasped. “I have never set the kitchen on fire!” He complained. Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “15. After I got injured and you were trying to be a nurse. You set soup on fire. SOUP! How does one set soup on fire?!” He asked, exasperated, staring at the agency members. Dazai pouted and crossed his arms. “You promised me we’d forget about that!” He complained, making everyone laugh. The atmosphere was nice. In fact, maybe Dazai could even get used to doing this more. He’d just have to convince Chuuya to play along.

—

Obviously, things didn’t stay peaceful. Not with the agency who were suddenly very interested in Dazai’s personal life. Because after dinner, when they were all sitting in the living room and enjoying some drinks, everyone went into interrogation mode. It seemed as though they had collected a bunch of the pictures hanging around the apartment while Chuuya and Dazai were busy cooking. Pictures of the two of them, dating all the way back to their first selfie when they were 15.

“Now, we obviously didn’t only come here to chit-chat. We want information!” Yosano started, pointing an accusing finger at the duo who were sharing a plush chair. Dazai tilted his head. “Information? About what?” Ranpo clicked his tongue. “About your relationship, obviously! And this cheesy collection of selfies of all your dates!” He said. And oh god, were they really still on this? Dazai sighed. “We told you already- We’re not–” He started, but Kunikida cut him off. “By all means. Even I can see it. As much as I’d like to be in denial about it.” He said. Atsushi nodded along. “Mhm. We’ve been thinking, and since you’re so insistent on your answer, we figured that you two might be the ones who don’t get it.”

And well, Dazai really didn’t understand what they were referring to. But maybe they could at least hear them out. And so he shrugged, sending Chuuya a sideways glance. “Alright. Out with it then. What do you want to know?” He asked. Yosano’s smile turned downright evil and Dazai had a mild feeling he may have just gotten himself into some problems.

“So. You two are not dating?” She started. Both halves of Soukoku nodded. “Good good.” She continued. “Then: Have you two ever dated another person?” Both of them simultaneously shook their heads. Yosano gave them a contemplative nod. “And you’ve been living together since you guys were 15, right?” Another nod, Yosano sighed and facepalmed, gesturing at Ranpo. “You go on. I can’t with them.” And Ranpo happily took on the task.

“Well, you guys! So you say you’ve been kissing and other non-pg-things I wish the kids weren’t present to hear about?” He asked. Dazai answered. “Kissing since we were 15. Sleeping with each other started at 16.” The ones aware of such implications looked at them in disbelief. Dazai shrugged. Ranpo continued. “And you’ve never kissed or slept with anyone else?” He asked. “Nah. Neither of us do. Such things are based on trust. And that’s not something I’d give so much of to anyone else.” Chuuya answered. Dazai agreed with a nod. Ranpo sighed. “I see what you mean now, Yosano. They’re hopeless.” Dazai still didn’t understand what they were on about.

Surprisingly, it was Kyouka who continued. And of course she chose the question that would throw the group in chaos once again. “The matching rings you exchanged. You still have them, don’t you?” She asked. Well, seemed like she found a detail even Yosano missed as she spluttered and choked on the sip of wine she’d been drinking. “Matching rings?! Ex-fucking-cuse me?!” She exclaimed. Kunikida looked close to fainting again. Dazai happily pulled out the necklace with the ring, as did Chuuya, showing them to the group. That was too much for Kunikida, as the idealist finally fainted.

“...You guys are aware these are wedding rings. Right?” Yosano asked. Dazai looked over at Chuuya, Chuuya looked back at him. Dazai opened his mouth. “Well- That much we know- But–” Ranpo interrupted him with loud laughter. “And you’re STILL in denial?!” He asked. Dazai suddenly felt a little unsure. Ranpo spent a good two minutes laughing before pulling himself together again. “Alright then. Atsushi, please run back our discoveries…” He started. Atsushi seemed all too eager to take the job.

“So: You’ve been living together for seven years. And neither of you has dated anyone before. And you started kissing at 15 and… other activities at 16. Both of which you never did with anyone else. You also have matching wedding rings that you’ve been carrying around for a presumably long time. Did I get that right?” Nods from everyone around him, including the duo in question.

“And let me guess: When Dazai left the Port Mafia, you were the one providing him with a home? You kept him safe, despite the danger of being declared a traitor yourself?” Ranpo added. Chuuya gave him a nod. Yosano sighed. Long, and loud, then she looked at the duo again.

“Dazai. Nakahara. Everything you just said all but confirms that you’re dating. And you’re still in denial?” She asked, voice strangely gentle and genuine. And suddenly, Dazai didn’t know what to say. Apparently, neither did Chuuya, as the mafioso sent him a somewhat helpless look. Dazai found himself growing pale. Him and Chuuya. Their bond. Everything they did with each other. Putting it like that, it really did feel weird. Chuuya’s brain seemed to go through a similar train of thought and he stared at Dazai with somewhat wide, confused eyes.

“Shitty Dazai. Are they… right?” He asked, sounding like he still couldn’t quite believe it. Dazai swallowed the lump in his throat. “Uhm–” He started, not quite sure what to say. In front of them, the ADA members quietly seemed to disappear. Dazai didn’t get up. Didn’t speak to them. Didn’t follow them. He was far too preoccupied with overthinking every single life choice that led him to this moment in time.

The door slammed shut. And the two men were left alone.

“So.” Dazai started.

“I-” Chuuya said at the same time.

Both of them immediately shut up at the realization that the other was speaking. Suddenly, Dazai felt like a huge idiot. Like a child, confessing to his first ever crush in elementary school. Well, apart from the fact they weren’t children in elementary school, the sentence wasn’t that wrong.

The silence stretched on for a while. Chuuya was the one who finally broke it. “...Would you like to be? Dating- I mean.” He said. Dazai felt himself blush. “I mean- if you want to? I mean I do- I’ve been having a crush on you for the longest time. But I’d understand if you wouldn’t wanna be with someone like me and find someone better and–”

His ramblings were interrupted by a kiss pressed to his lips. And while they had kissed thousands of times, somehow, this one felt different. Chuuya pulled back, a blush on his cheeks. “Dazai. Shuddup. Why wouldn’t I wanna be with you?” The redhead mumbled. Dazai found himself shrinking. “...Because I’m broken? I’m not easy to love- I think.” he spoke quietly. Chuuya squeezed his cheeks, making him wince. “And I’ve apparently loved you for seven years regardless, haven’t I?” He asked. “Just took a while to realize that.”

For another minute or two, they simply sat there. And then, as though a spell broke, they both started laughing. And it was loud, and bright, and them , and Dazai felt happy.

“We’re so stupid.” He mumbled between giggles. Chuuya shook his head amused. “At least we’re stupid together, boyfriend. ” And well, if Dazai short-circuited at the title being used, that was no one’s business but his and Chuuya’s. 

And if they fell into bed that night, whispering long overdue love confessions, then that was also only between them.

…And if a few weeks later, the agency members all received invites to an actual wedding along with ‘Thank You’ notes, then that was their business to laugh at and feel happy about.