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The moment he takes the checkered flag, Taiyo indulges in the exhilarating feeling of knowing that he secured a place on the podium. Of course, nothing beats the feeling of winning a race, but a podium is always exciting. It is also the first race of the season, and scoring a podium is always welcome - a mark that he has the potential to be among the top guys in this long season.
He admits that he did not expect that it would take him this long to start bagging success in this moto3 class; it takes the 2023 Thailand GP for him to finally step on the podium with second place. He is well aware of the words circulating online of the people who doubted him, saying they expected more from him as the 2021 Asia Talent Cup champion. It left a bitter taste in him, but he is proud of his progress and the continuous hard work he puts in despite the rough moments when he struggled to make a name of his own in this class.
But now is not the time to think of others’ opinions. Right now, he should indulge in this sweet taste of small victory that comes as a third place in this Qatar GP, letting the dopamine tangle with the adrenaline rush until it makes him feel slightly lightheaded.
When he reaches the parc fermé, he is immediately greeted by the familiar faces of his crew. They all give him loving pats and engulf him in comforting hugs, which feels nice. They all have broad smiles, and he feels pride in his chest that he manages not to disappoint them after all their effort this weekend and give them something to celebrate instead. They mutter their congratulations and how happy and proud they are of him. Those compliments make his face slightly red, and he is somewhat embarrassed by the attention he receives.
He absorbs the exciting feeling of walking down the podium and smiles at the loud cheers he receives. As he stands on the third-place podium, he can see his crew, the Honda executives, Tatchakorn, the Asia Talent Cup riders, and Hiroshi.
Hiroshi is beaming proudly at him. Aside from the pride which Taiyo knows well, there is evident relief on his face from how nervous and anxious he must have been watching the race. It feels nice seeing him smile, and Taiyo is reminded of how stressed the Idemitsu Honda Team Asia manager had been, especially in the second half of last season.
There was an unspoken tension between Ai and Hiroshi, especially post-Assen. None of them knows exactly what it is since Ai does not say anything about that, and they all know better than to peer at others’ personal affairs. It does not take a genius to connect it to the more frequent meetings Ai had with the manager and the other Honda executives.
Mario told him that he had heard from Somkiat that it was related to Ai’s future for next year. It is no secret that Honda has been trying to promote Ai to MotoGP by taking Takaaki’s seat in the LCR Honda MotoGP team. Ai declined last year, stating his wish to gain more experience in the Moto2 class, which they had given in. It seems they are trying again this year, and from how things are, it looks like the outcomes of those meetings are not favourable for both parties.
Knowing Ai, he must have declined again. The injuries and struggles make him unable to fight for the championship like the media predicted he would, and he seems pretty frustrated from that, even though he hides it very well. He also can be very stubborn when he wants to, making it hard to change his mind once he is set on something.
Taiyo has seen people online calling him stupid for not accepting the offer, stating it was a wasted opportunity. But as a racer, he understands Ai’s decision. Of course, competing in MotoGP is their dream, but it would have been nice to achieve other accomplishments before making that dream come true, such as winning the world championship in the lower class.
If that is the case, Hiroshi may have understood. However, he works for Honda, and the Honda executives must put much trust and responsibility in him to persuade Ai to accept the offer. Whatever is going on in those meetings must be frustrating, especially when they have different goals in mind.
One night, when Taiyo was on dish duty after dinner, he heard muffled, angry voices from the backyard while drying the last plate of the pile. He silently makes his way to the window to peek out, and he can see an angry Hiroshi and a very pissed Ai. They are too far away for him to make out whatever they are saying, but he sees Hiroshi saying something, making Ai look even angrier at those words.
“-so don’t try to act like you know what’s best for me!” Ai exclaims loudly in Japanese and storms off, and Taiyo immediately recoils from his position by the window and pretends he is still doing dishes. His heart beats wildly against his ribcage, and he is surprised at how angry the older Japanese rider is, which is a total contrast to his usual calm demeanour.
Seems like the situation is more severe than he thought it was.
As he returns to the garage for a post-race debrief with his race engineer, he walks past the KTM Ajo garage and catches a glimpse of Celestino preparing to head out for the sighting lap. It feels weird to see him in the KTM leathers, but as far as Taiyo notices, since his first season in Moto3 back in 2022, the older rider has been wearing a different coloured race leather every season anyway.
Taiyo is not close to him by any means, and they are just on friendly terms at best, but the Italian is pretty close to Norman, Ai’s crew chief and Ai himself. He has seen him around their motorhome sometimes when he is not around with the academy guys. He has no idea how close Ai really is with Celestino despite their long history of racing with each other. However, they must have been close enough for Ai to confide in him.
Taiyo is walking around the motorhome searching for Ai, fiddling with the soccer ball in his arm. Somkiat said that Ai had left to change into his shirt a while back, but he is taking quite some time, so he is forced to go look for the other just because he is the youngest, even when Mario is only older than him by a year.
He spots the familiar back of Ai and immediately quickens his steps to reach the other. “Ai-”
“What if it’s the wrong choice?” Ai’s voice halts Taiyo on his tracks as he realises that Ai is not alone. Ai must not have noticed him as he does not turn around, and Taiyo contemplates leaving when he notices the slightly heavy atmosphere.
“What if it’s the right one?” A deep voice laced with a thick Italian accent replies. “You never know. I don’t know if what I choose is right or not, but it’s worth a try, no?”
Ai’s slightly tensed shoulders relax at those words. “Yeah, you’re right. I just can’t help but worry.” Taiyo takes a step forward and finally sees Celestino in the long-sleeved Fantic shirt, who gives Ai a comforting smile.
“Me too. But let’s just hope all is okay.” The Italian answers, and he looks up and makes eye contact with Taiyo, who instinctively tries to hide. “Ah. Football match?”
Ai turns around at that, and Taiyo silently curses his fate as he must have appeared to be an eavesdropper. “Mario and Somkiat are waiting.” He says, and Ai looks flustered as he must have realised that he must have been gone for too long.
“You want to join?” Taiyo looks at Celestino, and the Italian smiles but shakes his head as a no. “Thank you, but Marco is waiting for me at the hospitality. Ciao!” He then turns to leave, waving at them, who wave back.
Taiyo then leads the way, and Ai follows close behind. He is relieved that Ai didn’t pester him if he heard anything, as he does not mean to hear whatever that is, as it seems like a pretty private conversation. He looks behind his shoulder, and Ai seems to be lost in his thoughts, but there is a slight smile on his face.
It has been quite a while since he sees Ai smile that contentedly.
When Taiyo enters the garage, he is met by Somkiat and Mario, who are also on their way out. They both give him a brief hug, promising a huge celebration later. He wishes them good luck on their race, saying that he will be watching and rooting for them and watches as their bike makes its way down the pitlane, disappearing out of his sight.
It feels foreign to see Mario come out with Somkiat when he used to be his teammate. He knows the Indonesian will move up sooner or later as the Moto3 bike is too small for him now that he rapidly grows taller and heavier as puberty hits him. He just did not expect it to be this soon, though. In fact, none of them really did.
It was the free weekend before Austria, and they were having a slow evening after a tiring training in the morning. He is playing FIFA on the PlayStation with Mario while Somkiat is scrolling through his phone; the audio from whatever video he is watching contributes to the overall noisy atmosphere in the living room. Ai comes out of his room and sits on one of the vacant spots on the sofa. He watches them play silently, occasionally laughing when Mario misses his opportunity to score a goal.
When Taiyo finally wins in a close match, Ai finally breaks the silence. “I have something to tell you guys. I think you guys already know about what.” The fun atmosphere immediately goes still, and they both immediately put down their PlayStation and focus on the other.
“About the thing with Hiroshi?” Somkiat cautiously asks. That makes Ai sigh, and for the first time since Taiyo knows him, he looks timid, which is so uncharacteristic of him.
“Yes. About that.” He then places one of the sofa pillow on his lap as if it can give him strength. “So Honda still wants to promote me, and Hiroshi is the middle man for that. I declined like I did last year, and that.. didn’t go well. Other things happen too, and they said that if I reject the offer, then I need to find another team as they want to move up Mario.”
Mario looks guilty at that, but it is obviously not his fault. “I will still be with Honda, but I will be on a different team.” Ai looks up, and he looks a bit sad. “I will not be able to train with you guys anymore.”
There is a thick silence, and Taiyo clears his throat to ease the tension. “Do you know what team you will be in next year?” Ai shakes his head at that and looks down. “No, not yet. I still look around and hopefully will be able to find one soon.”
Ai is an excellent rider, so Taiyo is confident he will find a ride quickly. He looks at Somkiat, who looks upset at the news, but that is understandable. Somkiat always gets attached too easily, and his long years of friendship and bond with Ai must have hit him hard. Separation never comes easily to him, so it must hurt him.
What happens next goes by in a blur. He does not remember who or when they changed the topic, but they somehow get into a long and random deep conversation. The atmosphere is still heavy, but it is slightly lighthearted now. They are friends, but before that, they are just individuals with the same dream. Their path may cross, and they create friendships out of those times, but their road may not tangled together forever.
After the long talk, they begin to retire to their own room to get some rest, but Ai remains in the living room, his head hanging low and deep in his thoughts. Taiyo thinks of saying something, anything, to the other. Maybe try to comfort him by saying how everything will work out in the end. But after some hesitation, he decides to leave Ai be and leaves for his room, too.
He has no idea how he really feels about the news. He has a suspicion, but hearing it from Ai himself makes it feel like it is happening. The thought of Ai leaving the team and that they may not be able to hang out and be as close as they are now leaves a foreign feeling in him that is tough to decipher. Is it sadness? Well, he is not na ï ve enough to think that they will be teammates forever. They may be close, but if they were to race against each other, they would immediately be rivals. It is a world of every man for himself, and he knows it very well. Still, there is this weird longing feeling in him that dreads the time Ai will leave and is confusing. For now, he decides to just ignore it and tries to act like he always does.
By the time the Austria weekend rolls by, the paddock is filled with news that Ai has been going around and sending his resume in search of a seat. It comes as quite a surprise to others, and the most prominent news was that he may race for Marc VDS. There is also various other news of other moves that may occur for next season, a typical commotion that arises during the second half of the season.
When the news of Ai securing a seat on the Moto2 MT Helmets-MSI team is announced on the 15th of September, Taiyo is one of the first people to congratulate him. That news comes three days after the news of KTM Aki Ajo securing Celestino and Deniz as their Moto2 lineup. Taiyo is immediately reminded of Ai and Celestino's conversation during the Silverstone weekend. And at that moment, he silently mutters a prayer that both moves will work well for them.
As he walks towards his crew chief, who waits for him at the back of the garage to go through the data together, the team's press officer stops him. “Taiyo, did you meet Norman on the way here?” Taiyo raises his eyebrow at that, confusion written all over his face. Why would he meet Ai’s crew chief?
“Uh, no? Wouldn’t he be in the grid with Ai?” He asks, and the press officer nods. “Yeah, but he was here just now to congratulate you. Well, he will need to catch you later if he wants to properly congratulate you.” And with that, he walks in a different direction.
Taiyo continues on his way, a bit touched by Norman’s sentiment, who could have just congratulated him later and focused more on the race ahead of him instead. Norman has always been kind and friendly, but his best trait is his loyalty.
It is a chilly morning here on Phillip Island, and Taiyo sees Norman already nursing a warm cup of coffee in his hand. Other team members are striking light conversation with each other while having their coffees and breakfast to gain energy for another long day awaiting them. Taiyo grabs his breakfast plate and sits with Norman, who greets him with a good morning.
They get into a simple conversation, mainly regarding the weather and the possible track condition for the morning practice, before Taiyo finally decides to ask the question that has been in the back of his head. “Will you stay here next year or go with Ai?”
Norman takes another sip of his coffee before setting the cup down. “For a second, you reminded me of Ai because of that question.” He chuckles. “Ai has been asking me for some time to come with him. He says I am the only one who will ever fully understand him and he needs me to be with him at the new team.”
It is not a surprise. Norman has been Ai’s crew chief since his Moto3 days and has worked with him long enough to understand him. Taiyo imagines that Ai must have felt fear in this transition to a new team and at the thought of being in a completely different environment than the one he is used to. He wonders just how lonely Ai must have felt to keep things to himself and deal with all this.
“So, did you accept it?” He asks, and Norman gives him a smile - the fond smile he always has when he talks with Ai. “I will be a man of no heart if I can turn down such a persistent request.”
He meets Tatchakorn later after all the media duties, and things slow down. The Thai rider can be spotted from afar with his faded orange hair. His dyed hair kind of reminds him of Somkiat’s fried blonde hair, but at least Tatchakorn’s hair seems to not be in such a disastrous state despite his frequent dyeing.
Tatchakorn immediately leans in to give him a hug and say his congratulations. They have known each other since the Red Bull Rookies Cup, so Taiyo has always felt comfortable with him. It is quite easy to adapt to the other’s presence on the other side of the garage since they have been friends for quite some time, even though it feels a bit weird not seeing Mario instead after two seasons of being teammates.
Tatchakorn moved into their dormitory about a week after Ai left for his new base with the MT Helmets-MSI team. He is really lovely and fits right into their dorm lifestyles. He is initially shy but quickly gets rid of the shyness once he settles in. He usually engages in loud conversation with Somkiat, spewing rapid Thai that he and Mario have no idea about. Somkiat seems very happy about that, and Taiyo feels that he must have felt at home now that he can talk freely in his native language. He understands that feeling well; living abroad is lonely, and you crave that familiarity that reminds you of home as an effort to heal the void in you that is missing your family.
Tatchakorn’s presence fills the emptiness surrounding the dorm when Ai left, and Taiyo gets used to it pretty quickly, or that is what he thought.
One evening, when they are eating out with the other crews to try the new Italian restaurant down the street, Taiyo cannot find his phone. He searches everywhere in his room but cannot remember where he puts it after returning from the gym. He asks Mario if he has seen it anywhere, and the older person tells him to look at the living room or the kitchen, so he immediately heads to the living room to begin his search.
The living room is, to put it simply, a mess. Taiyo admits that they are not the tidiest bunch around and tends to put random things anywhere, but he has yet to realise that the living room has been so messy that he is taken aback by it. Piles of unfolded clothes are everywhere on the sofa, the random board games and the PlayStation are scattered all over the coffee table and the floor, and there are random chargers, wires or earphones around the mess from their late-night gaming. There are used tissues everywhere, as well as random spills and crumbs of chips or whatever he has no idea about.
He is reminded of how Ai will silently clean and pick up other stuff, and they will immediately scramble to clean up. Ai will always complain that if he does not initiate the cleaning, then no one will, and they will just sheepishly smile as he playfully nags them. It was still messy back then, but it was still manageable. He knows they have been quite busy with training to clean up, but this is the messiest he has seen so far.
And somehow, standing in front of the unrecognisable living room that no doubt will earn them an earful of nagging from Hiroshi if he sees it, he is suddenly hit full force by the longing that lingers around when Ai leaves, and it hurts. Perhaps he has become more attached to the older Japanese rider than he realised.
The long day finally ends, and he can feel the exhaustion deep in his bones. He did meet Norman, and the German gave his best wishes for his success that weekend. He also helps the engineers pack up a bit, and they all mutter their thanks to him as they store away the last of the equipment. He feels for them as they always are the first and the last ones at the garage, ensuring that everything is complete to ensure a smooth sailing weekend for the team. They deserve more credit than they receive for all their hard work.
Despite the tiredness, he still feels pretty energetic, though he knows well that he will pass out right away on his bed when he gets back to the hotel. He is in a good mood, his steps light, and he carefully cradles the trophy in his arms as he makes his way to his motorhome. His crew chief said they would go for a barbecue later, and he was excited about that.
It is a really wonderful day. He received a lot of hugs and congrats, and he cannot wait to display the trophy in his collection back home. His family back in Japan must be proud of him, and he is happy that he has another fond memory to look back on. He will try his best to step on the top step of the podium this season, but as of now, he will reflect on today as a positive step that will help him get closer to his dreams and goals.
As he makes his way through the paddock, he hears someone call his name.
“Taiyo!”
It is a familiar voice, and he knows he can recognise it anywhere. He immediately turns around and sees Ai, still clad in his MT Helmets-MSI race leathers, smiling widely at him. It is evident that he just got out of media duties and has yet to get the time to change into a more comfortable team shirt. Those colours look weird and out of place on him since the Idemitsu Honda Team Asia colours have been his default colours for so long. Yet that toothy smile is so Ai; somehow, it makes Taiyo feel choked up.
Ai opens his arms, and Taiyo immediately runs to him, pulling him in for a bear hug. His grip on the trophy slackens a bit before he tightens it in fear of dropping it. Ai chuckles and pats his back, muttering his congratulations and saying how proud he is of him. He feels safe in the embrace, and if he snuggles deeper into it, Ai makes no comment about it.
He knows it will take some time for him to get used to Ai in different colours and even longer until he can get rid of the ghost of Ai’s presence in the dorm, but he will get there one day. Because Ai is still the same Ai Ogura that Taiyo has known for years, and while distance and time may break their bond as seasons change, he wishes to savour the comfort he seeks in Ai for as long as he can. Despite everything, the man before him is still the Ai Ogura that Taiyo thinks of as his older brother.