Chapter Text
The day was going like any other, filled with various practices and meetings. ATEEZ was slowly starting to prepare for a comeback and their schedule was getting fuller by the day.
Currently, all the members were rassembled in their practice room, slowly learning the choreography of their new title track. The song was blaring from the speakers and the hot air was starting to become suffocating and blurring up the mirror.
The song ended and Hongjoong called for a break.
“Okay let’s take five, everyone. We’re making good progress though!”
The members all exhaled sighs of relief before some starting to flop down on the floor, catching their breaths. Their new dance was incredibly demanding and even the most athletic members were having a hard time keeping up.
Hongjoong went over to his bag to pull out his water bottle and took a few long sips. From the corner of his eye, he saw Seonghwa crossing the room to sit down to Yeosang’s right and handing him a water bottle. That wasn’t what surprised him, however. What made him look twice, was the fact that the oldest put a hand around the younger’s shoulder and the latter seemed to melt into the touch instantly. Yeosang put his face in the crook of Seonghwa’s neck and burrowed himself in the other’s chest.
Skin-ship wasn’t a rare occurrence in the ATEEZ dorm, although Wooyoung and San were usually the culprits. Seonghwa also enjoyed it most of the time, but he didn’t initiate it much. Yeosang, on the other hand, was usually not very comfortable with it. Sometimes he liked it and shyly asked for hugs, but mostly he only tolerated it. Living with Wooyoung for so long kind of forced one to get used to being coddled all the time.
That’s why Hongjoong was a bit surprised with the turn of events. Yeosang had looked very eager to cuddle his hyung just now. And Seonghwa was unusualy happy to comply with him.
Hongjoong noticed the incident but didn't think about it much and had already forgotten it a few days later. He was only reminded of it when he saw a similar moment, this time while they were all watching a movie.
The captain had been focused on the screen that portrayed some definitive battle in one of the Avengers movie. He only looked to his right when he heard murmuring accompanied by a quiet shuffling sound. He looked to where the sound came from and was relatively surprised when he saw Yeosang quite literally seated on Seonghwa. The younger had his back facing the TV while he straddled his hyung’s thighs, his face on the older’s shoulder and turned towards Hongjoong. His eyes were closed and he seemed to relax more and more as Seonghwa rubbed circles onto his back.
Hongjoong was suddenly hit with the image of a mother who was putting their child to sleep. Embarrassed by his thoughts, he quickly shook the image out of his head and faced the screen again, attempting to continue to watch the movie.
———
This time, the incidents stayed on Hongjoong’s mind a little longer. He was still thinking about the movie night they had when Jongho came to speak with him while they were on a break with dance practice. They had finally started to make real progress with the choreography, but were all still struggling with it.
Jongho stood by Hongjoong’s side while they both took long sips from their water bottles. Suddenly, the youngest turned to him.
“Hyung. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Seonghwa and Yeosang are really close these days.”
Hearing this statement, Hongjoong looked to the other side of the practice room. Sure enough, Seonghwa and Yeosang were in deep conversation and seated a little too close for comfort in this sticky and hot room.
“It’s nothing bad, obviously, but it just struck me, continued Jongho.
I know what you mean, and yes, I had noticed this as well. But neither have told me anything.”
Jongho hummed before making his way to his starting position, Yunho having ended the break.
During the rest of the practice, the conversation with the youngest member was stuck in Hongjoong’s head. He didn’t know why, but this newfound closeness between two of his members seemed a little different than the rest of the relationships between the other ATEEZ members.
———
Hongjoong could officially say that the entire group had caught on to the shift in dynamic that was caused by the new relationship between two of their members.
He could see the members glance at Seonghwa and Yeosang every time they cuddled together or did something that they hadn’t done before. Which was happening a lot lately. The two members could more often than not be found having hushed conversations with each other or exchanging touches. It was becoming so frequent that Hongjoong started to expect them to hang off of each other’s arms. Which was in itself a bit strange, considering the previous nonchalant attitude they had regarding skin-ship.
It got so bad that Hongjoong almost acquired a third roommate. Every time he came home from the studio late at night and everyone was already in bed, he made his way to his room and saw Yeosang cuddled up to Seonghwa in the latter’s bed. And every time, Hongjoong’s brain didn’t fail to conjure the image of a mother holding their child protectively to their chest. Yeosang just looked so young and innocent when his face was smushed in their oldest member’s embrace! Could you really blame him?
It was now normal to look for Yeosang where Seonghwa was and the other way around. The captain of ATEEZ had tried to question the two of them about their new relationship, but he was brushed off every time. Seeing nothing wrong with it, he decided to let it go and continue his observations from afar.
———
In addition to the skin-ship between the two members, Hongjoong had noticed that Seonghwa had started to use pet names when speaking to Yeosang. The first time it happened, he had been dumbfounded to hear what came out of the oldest’s mouth, but he quickly became accustomed to hearing the words of endearment coming from him. Although, sometimes it was still a little off throwing to hear them.
“Come here sweetheart, I’ll arrange your hair, said Seonghwa, gesturing to Yeosang to get him to sit on his lap.”
The younger obeyed without even blinking at the nickname and went over to his hyung. After Seonghwa was done with the younger’s hair, he patted him on the thigh while pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Okay angel. I’m done, you can stand up, baby.”
Hongjoong could only watch this interaction, baffled at what he had witnessed.
———
ATEEZ had been invited to an interview with a fellow idol. She was a soloist who had her own little show and frequently interviewed groups.
Putting on his mike and preparing to introduce his group, Hongjoong took a place on the far left of the available seats, so as to be able to see every one of his members from where he was.
The interview started well and the idol who interviewed them was friendly and welcoming. They had covered the topic of their new album and a few fun facts about their current life, when the soloist asked another question.
“Now, I’m sure that as a group of eight members you have many different kinds of relationships between you all. Is there any that is particularly different to the other relationships you have within this group? Is there someone you are very close to? Yeosang, maybe you want to say something?”
It was true that the currently blond haired idol had not had a very big chance to speak yet, and Hongjoong was thankful that the host had noticed this. He watched carefully as Yeosang seemed to consider his words before saying his answer.
“It’s true that we all have different relationships between each other, even if they all are precious in their own ways. For example, nowadays, Seonghwa hyung and I are very close. We spend a lot of time together and I find a certain comfort in him that I don’t find in anyone else. But that is not to say that my relationship with, say, Wooyoung, who I’ve known since many years, is any less important or fulfilling than the one I have with Seonghwa. And we obviously have to take in account that they change all the time too.”
The members were nodding at what Yeosang had said, even if most of them were surprised about the part concerning Seonghwa. The two members involved hadn’t spoken of this development yet and hearing one of them talk about it in a an interview, no less, was surprising.
The interviewer hummed thoughtfully before asking about Jongho’s opinion and Yeosang’s answer was quickly brushed to the side to continue the interview.
———
A few months after the beginning of the whole deal about the change in dynamics between two of their members, the situation was pretty much the same. Seonghwa and Yeosang were still wrapped up in each other and it became their new normal.
Currently, all of the members were once again in their practice room, rehearsing a few of their songs for an upcoming concert. They had been at it for a little more than four hours and were starting to feel the effects of their prolonged practice.
Hongjoong could see how his member’s limbs started to hang slightly even during their dances and how their footwork became sloppier and sloppier. He was about to call for a break when he heard a dull thud coming from behind him.
He spun to face where the noise came from and froze when he saw Yeosang hunched up on himself with his back to one of the walls of the room. He was shaking and pulling on his hair while his whimpering was heard over the silence that had fallen over the practice room.
Seonghwa was the first to react and quickly went over to their shaking member while making sure to keep a light distance between them. He spoke to him gently.
“Yeosang-ah. Hey baby, can I touch you? I promise I won’t hurt you, darling.”
Seonghwa seemed to get a response, even if it was inaudible to the rest of the members, and he slowly approached Yeosang to put an arm around his shoulders. When the younger didn’t seem to object to the touch, the eldest gently put his arm around the other’s waist and lifted him up just enough to put him in his lap. Yeosang seemed to relax almost instantly, now that he was curled up in Seonghwa’s embrace.
The eldest started to rub his members’s back while he whispered words of comfort in his ear. As Yeosang started to relax a bit, he seemed to sink into his hyung’s embrace even more, boneless and exhausted from the preceding events. This went one for a few minutes while the rest of the members could only watch, helpless.
Hongjoong observed the scene from afar, not wanting to interrupt now that Seonghwa seemed to get Yeosang to calm down slightly. The latter wasn’t shaking as badly as he was five minutes ago and his whimpering had almost ceased.
The captain decided that it was high time that they finally stopped working for today. He quietly went to disconnect his phone from the speaker and motioned for the rest of the members to get ready to leave. He looked in Seonghwa’s direction and found the older’s gaze already on him. He still had Yeosang wrapped protectively in his arms and continued to rub his back affectionately. Hongjoong motioned to the oldest that they were going and the latter nodded before bringing his attention back to the boy in his lap.
Hongjoong busied himself by shooing the worried members in the direction of the cars and when he turned back to the two remaining in the practice room he almost melted at the cute sight he discovered.
Seonghwa had picked up Yeosang bridal style and the latter had his face buried in the oldest’s neck. His hands were gripping Seonghwa’s shirt tightly and the duo truly made an adorable sight. Hongjoong almost would have taken a picture if it wasn’t for the still fresh tear tracks on the younger’s face and Seonghwa’s worried expression. Seeing this, he ushered the pair out of the practice room and in the direction of the company cars.
The car ride passed in tense silence as everyone kept shooting Yeosang worried glances. Hongjoong knew his members had many questions; he himself had some. But they would have to wait, Yeosang’s comfort was more important.
Arrived at their dorm, the members went to the living room while Seonghwa brought the blond haired idol to bed. They all waited in tense silence which was only Brocken when Seonghwa came back to the living room a few minutes later.
“Hyung, what was that?”
Wooyoung was the one who asked the question and he looked scared and confused to have seen his best friend in such a state. Hongjoong would like to know too.
Seonghwa sighed and let himself down on the sofa, putting his head in his hands. He stayed that way for a few seconds before looking up.
“Yeosang asked me to explain to you what happened. I will try to answer your questions so we can let him rest. But let me explain before you ask away.”
The members all accepted in various stages of agreement. Seonghwa gestured for them to sit down and they all chose different places in the living room, making themselves comfortable.
“Okay, I’ll explain the best I can, said Seonghwa. Firstly, you have to know that I came to know this information without him having told me. It just happened and had I not accidentally discovered it, he wouldn’t ever have told anyone. Don’t take offence to it, you know how Yeosang is. He always thinks he burdens us with these sorts of things.”
Hongjoong could see Wooyoung becoming more and more worried. He was one of the members who was well acquainted with the disregard Yeosang had for his own comfort and needs. If he thought that something he needed would bother someone around him, he squashed it down and hopped he didn’t hear of it again.
“Firstly, continued their oldest member, not looking any of the others in the eyes, you need to know that Yeosang didn’t have the best childhood. Maybe it comes as a surprise for you, maybe not. We all know he doesn’t often talk about it. To put it simply, he didn’t get the love and attention a child needs to grow up.”
Hongjoong was growing more and more uneasy, something sitting uncomfortably in his stomach. He imagined that the rest of the members felt the same as he did, judging by their expressions.
“What does that mean? asked Wooyoung gnawing worriedly at his bottom lip.”
Seonghwa sighed sadly.
“Yeosang’s parents never really cared for him. He told me that almost all of the memories he has from his childhood are spent locked away in a closet in his previous room. He said that he doesn’t remember even a single day where his parents paid him any attention. That he doesn’t remember a time when he went to bed and wasn’t hungry, because his parents were not bothered enough to make him some food. He learned at five years old to make himself some, or he wouldn’t survive at all.”
The words were ringing in Hongjoong’s ears. He felt disbelief and horror coursing through him, knowing that one of his members had grown up in such horrible conditions. He heard distant noises of distress passing through the fog in his ears and he turned towards his left, where San was seated next to a few of the other members. He looked ready to cry, a hand covering his mouth as he stared at the oldest.
Seonghwa looked pained, but continued on.
“When he was a bit older, his parents started to show real hate towards him. They insulted him and everything related to him, locked him out of the house or inside a cupboard for a few days. They punished him if he didn’t have good enough grades and Yeosang confessed to me that they even sometimes hit him. The worst of it all though, was that he didn’t care. He didn’t care because he was so used to being ignored and forgotten, that he relished in the fact that they put their attention on him. He didn’t care if he missed a whole week worth of meals if they just spared another glance in his direction.”
Seonghwa was crying when he finished his rant, wiping his cheeks furiously. He seemed relieved to have said what weighed heavily on his mind, but also thoroughly sad to remember what he had been told by Yeosang.
The rest of the members weren’t any better, a few of them now also crying. Hongjoong himself fought back tears, trying to imagine the pain his dongsaeng had been going through. To think he had been happier to receive the harsh treatment from his parents instead of being simply ignored by them, said a lot about the severity of the situation.
“He hasn’t told me everything, continued Seonghwa shakily, and I know that there are a few important things he hasn’t said to me. But I also know that he’s been seeing a therapist and this really seems to have helped him.”
Hongjoong was relieved that Yeosang had managed to get help from somewhere, even if he was feeling slightly guilty of having not been able to do it himself.
“Recently, he was also diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder. It’s what makes him cling onto me most of the time. His therapist thinks he developed it because of the lack of affection and attention during his childhood. He unconsciously seems to try to make up for it now. He might come off a bit clingy; sometimes, or so he told me himself, he knows that he can do something without help but he will ask for it anyways. He’ll want to be reassured and coddled to feel better. It helped him a lot when he let me provide this comfort for him, even if it took him a while to accept it. I simply hope this doesn’t change your way of viewing him.”
At the last sentence, Seonghwa squared his shoulders while lifting his chin and looking them defiantly in the eyes. The members were quick to reassure him.
“No, of course not! cried indignantly Wooyoung. He’s my best friend! His needs won’t affect how I see him. Actually, do you know any way we can help him? Something we can do to make him more comfortably?”
Seonghwa looked reassured at his member’s answer.
“I think it would be best if you spoke with him yourself and asked him, said the elder with a hum. He will know better than me.
Okay. I will speak to him when he wakes up. It think it would also be important that we all discuss this with Yeosang so we can all be up to date with what he tells us. Is that ok?”
Wooyoung had spoken with determination written all across his face and his eyes strayed towards Hongjoong at the last part.
The latter nodded and his members seemed to agree with him.
Seonghwa smiled gently at them before standing up.
“I’m glad you are all taking this so well. Yeosang will really appreciate it. Now, I will go see if he’s feeling better. The stress that has been building up the last few weeks must have been too much for him. We’ll discuss things when he wakes up, ok?”
The members agreed and the oldest nodded before taking off towards the room of their resting member.
Everything had gone well, and Yeosang would finally get all the support he deserved.