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- "Poor Little Rich Turtle" is a spectacular episode
- almost entirely because of Buffy Shellhammer
- all the boys need more friends their age, Raphael especially
- and these two could have gotten along SO WELL
- in that episode, Michelangelo’s level of attraction to Buffy is inversely proportional to Raphael’s begrudging respect for her
- I bet Raphael tells her about Michelangelo's crush as a joke
- and she declares she has no interest in anyone human, turtle, boy, girl, or otherwise, and they high-five/three about it
- he would love having a rich friend that lets him hang out in her mansion
- he makes fun of her for said mansion but still shamelessly takes advantage of her wealth
- which is fair since she’s been trashing his sewer home since day one
- Leonardo’s joke about seeing "how the other half lives"? Yeah, they run that bit six feet under
- she does not care that Raphael and his brothers are local heroes they’re just some weird little dudes from beneath the city to her
- she is, however, so excited to learn about all the hidden sewer routes around the city so she can escape her more boring responsibilities
- they're both made of pretty tough stuff and predictably bond over their abnormal childhoods and limited connections/friends
- "don't get out much, do you?" he says like he doesn’t have equally negative amounts of experience with normal teenage fun!!
- zero understanding of typical friendship rituals between them
- they wrestle, gift each other weird stuff, and spend a lot of time trying to figure out what normal teenagers do, only to give up and do something else because the things they thought of sounded boring
- they'll just randomly ask each other stuff like, "did you know most people only eat three meals a day with specific foods for each meal?" and be totally confused together about it
- they also have the most skewed concept of money
- Raphael has never paid for anything in his life other than pizza, and while Buffy knows the exact value of super niche chemical tech supplies, she could not give you a reasonable estimate for produce
- a lifetime with Donatello has made Raphael a surprisingly good sounding board for the more technical aspects of Buffy’s work
- which she does enjoy, as well as cutthroat business operations, she just hates her public persona and sucking up to adults who think they know better than her
- he likes to hold the fact that t(he)y saved her life (multiple times) over her head, but like as a joke
- except for when he tries to use it to win arguments
- unfortunately, it never works, she is the most ungrateful brat ever thank you much
- they very much share that I don’t owe anyone anything attitude
- EXCEPT for Master Splinter, whom they mutually respect and agree is the only acceptable adult
- she unironically complains about humans with him but particularly has beef with adults, and he heartily encourages this
- they love that they can be total jerks around each other without hurting anyone else’s delicate feelings
- THEE besties who judge people and hate each other affectionately
- all the insults: "martian" "nerd" "pet store reject" "spoiled brat"
- when they’re not coming up with colorful insults for each other, they’re doing it together for other people
- it's their favorite bonding activity <3
- since she enjoyed their initial misadventure so much, she asks if she can go out with the turtles to fight and stuff again, and Raphael laughs at her
- until she takes a bunch of martial arts classes and totally kicks his shell
- and, well, he supposes a nice easy patrol or two might be fun
- unfortunately, the team cannot handle the strength of their combined sass, and she’s forbidden from ever joining them again, even though she has a mean left hook
- ultimately, I think they’d mellow each other out now that they have an outlet for their angst and eventually grow and learn a lot from one another
- but, mostly, they just talk so much crap together