Work Text:
A Different Sort of Peace
By doodsxd
He Xuan sat down, appreciating the silence. Black Water Island had been somewhat neglected these days, especially since he had been staying at Qingxuan’s palace in the Heavens. His bone dragons had been restless, and the bone fish almost sour towards him.
“Yes, yes, I missed you too.” He mumbled, feeding all of them with the meat of a shoal he had redirected into his waters, and inside his fish’s bellies.
Once he was done with that, the current Water Master sat down on the shore, over the fluffy white sand. Black Water Island was different now.
“Love has made you weak, Black Water.” Crimson Rain had told him, and he rolled his eyes.
“Love makes no one weaker.” Rain Master insisted. “If anything, it makes you stronger.”
He wasn’t sure if love interfered in his strength at all, but it was an essential experience for other facets of him. Like his relationship to Qingxuan.
He had barely taken two sips of his wine — one of the many advantages of standing as Lord Wind Master’s lover was he could always count on him to have impeccable taste — when he heard the sound of chains shimmying, disturbing his peace.
“What are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too.” Crimson Rain was, at least, carrying another jug of wine. Maybe he had learned manners, after all.
The red-clad menace sat beside him, pulling another cup from his sleeve.
Black Water discreetly took in Crimson Rain’s appearance. He looked the same, except for the slight twitch on his left temple.
“He’s been taking on Dianxia’s mannerisms.” Feng Xin pointed out to him. “He scrunches up his nose when he disagrees, and the twitch on his temple? That’s cause he’s sad. Tilt to the eyebrow and he’s angry. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. It’s—“ The General had winced in that way he did when there was something unsavory about to leave his mouth. “Kind of adorable? Don’t tell him I said that.”
With that in mind, He Xuan sipped on his wine. He had known Crimson Rain for a few centuries now. The man had always been impassive, an inexpressive wall, impossible to read. But ever since he was reunited with his love, he had been slowly but surely lowering his walls — at least to what he would now call their inner circle.
“For what is worth,” Feng Xin had said, laying his head back down on the wet dirt after Crimson Rain’s Troubles had called for all of them together. The bastard, couldn’t even do that alone. “As long as you’re good to him, there are a lot of people who would die to protect your ashes hiding place.”
And he had been right, too. He Xuan held no love toward Xie Lian, they were not close, but he was close to Feng Xin, Shi Qingxuan, Yin Yu — hell, even Crimson Rain himself, so to speak — so defending a person who was important to them was a given.
He had been pondering on the merits of warning them of how other gods started seeing their “group”. Suspicion and fear had been growing on the Upper Courts. Of course, they would never show outright hostility toward Xie Lian, who was too strong to be challenged, but he saw Shi Qingxuan be mocked more than once.
“Don’t worry about that, He-xiong.” Qingxuan dismissed it quickly. “They do this to everyone who has been poor. Money is the only language some gods speak.”
He had been furious, but did his best to respect Qingxuan’s wishes. Naturally, that implied making a small, off-handed comment about it in front of Mu Qing during their after-training tea time, and watching the dominoes fall on the wake of his wrath.
Having well-positioned friends was worth more than having millions of merits, indeed. And while Pei Ming had been an unexpected addition to their group, his unwavering will to protect Shi Qingxuan in his brother’s absence and Ling Wen’s inexplicable fondness of him made him a worthwhile addition, especially since having Rain Master by his side toned his insufferability levels to that of a large, excited old puppy. He Xuan wasn’t necessarily fond of dogs, but he could deal with them no problem.
Maybe love did make them a little weak. As long as the weakness worked in his favor, he was fine with that.
Back to the present moment, He Xuan placed his cup down and stared.
“Are you so jealous of me that you wish to lose an eye too?” Crimson Rain didn’t even look at him. Bastard.
“Speak.” He urged. He had no time for that long-drawn drama, nor did he have the patience. He would not postpone or be late for his nightly appointment because of Crimson Rain, of all people.
“I didn’t know you were that fond of the sound of my voice, Black Water.” Crimson Rain and his teasing.
He had watched Xie Lian working his trick times enough to know that it would work. Crimson Rain abhorred losing anything, regardless of what it was. They could end on a feedback loop of teasing and talking around the subject, or He Xuan could press him into anger or challenge his security, and the truth would spill out of him much faster.
He Xuan was all for expediency, so he pondered on the merits of each option. He wasn’t in the mood for a physical altercation to break out. Anger was probably not the path to go, he concluded.
“These days, I would rather listen to Pei Ming.” He watched Crimson Rain’s eyebrow tilt minutely. “At least when he waxes poetry about Rain Master, he doesn’t take my whole day to annoy me with his ramblings.”
Crimson Rain placed his cup down. “That’s because he has no artistic talent to speak of.” His face turned to He Xuan, red eye finally visible to him. Crimson Rain was so rude, he couldn’t even sit to his right so his eye was visible to the person he was speaking to, unless that person was his Dianxia. Brat.
“I have seen your calligraphy.”
The glare he received in response was ever so satisfying.
It only took a few more sips of wine for Crimson Rain to start speaking.
“Gege wants me to talk to him.”
That… sounded strange. “I can’t fathom why.” Irony seemed like a safe bet.
The other Calamity’s jaw worked, tensing up. “You don’t understand.”
“Of course I don’t.” He agreed, just to speed things up. “Think who my partner is.”
Crimson Rain grunted and shifted to face forward again, watching the sun glitter on the dark sea.
“He told me he wants to learn things about me.”
“Well, from what I hear, your Dianxia is considerate like that.” He Xuan still failed to see the issue, but he was trying. That was probably the only reason he was still sitting upright, and not pressed down on a crater on his own island.
“I don’t—“ Crimson rain sighed. “He should not waste his time like that.”
“Oh?” He Xuan frowned. “Why would it be a waste of time for him to learn more about you?”
“Because—“ It was rare to see Crimson Rain struggle. Making a big deal out of it would only make him clam up, overthink and make the situation worse; alas, He Xuan still didn’t wish to play any longer. It seemed serious, and he wanted to treat it as such. He had to be smart about it, but he would not jest over relevant matters.
So, he waited. If he was to be a mind healer for a Calamity, he was probably severely underpaid, but. Oh, well. He was the Water Master, and although he wasn’t a Water Tyrant, he knew eventually he would have all the money he needed to shower Shi Qingxuan with the things that made his eyes sparkle in joy. They had time.
“—I should care for him.” Crimson Rain voiced finally. “There is no need for him to concern himself with anything other than his own wishes.”
“He wishes to concern himself with you.”
“I know.” A frustrated sigh. “But he shouldn’t.”
Oh, heavens. It was one of those conversations. In his innermost mind, he prayed for help. Once again, he was not only severely underpaid, but also worryingly under-equipped for such things.
On the outside, however, he watched the Calamity. “I told this to Feng Xin, I will tell you the same: it’s not up to you to decide what Xie Lian deserves, or what he wants.”
“I am aware.” Crimson Rain’s eyes fleeted to He Xuan’s face once more. He looked younger with such a softer expression, somewhat sad. “Being by his side has been my sole dream for over eight hundred years.”
“So what’s the issue?”
“Did someone pray for me?” Pei Ming’s voice sounded exceedingly confused.
Both He Xuan and Crimson Rain looked behind them, finding the self-proclaimed God of Love standing a few feet away from them.
“I’m honestly sorry to interrupt,” He continued, still frowning. “But I heard a prayer, and when I realized it came from here, I thought it might be serious.”
Crimson Rain had detested Pei Ming before; so had He Xuan. Still, he was discreet, and was known to give out good advice.
Maybe that was his solution.
“Crimson Rain is having love problems.” He announced hurriedly, before Crimson Rain could dismiss Pei Ming.
Pei Ming, thankfully, didn’t ask which of them had prayed for him. Honestly, He Xuan wasn’t quite sure if it had been him or Crimson Rain who unconsciously summoned the God of Love himself to aid with his issues, but, well. It was paramount that they made the best out of the situation.
“Wine?” He Xuan offered politely, watching Pei Ming sit near them.
Pei Ming accepted. Crimson Rain’s jaw started working again, tensing up.
“So.” Pei Ming eyed them both, cup in his hands. “What’s the problem?”
“He’s bothered that his husband wants to know him better.” He Xuan hid his smirk on a sip of wine, facing Crimson Rain’s glare once again.
Pei Ming nodded. He Xuan wasn’t sure he understood. Maybe Pei Ming did. He was the God of Love, after all.
“I will assume we are under secrecy here?” Pei Ming asked, looking from He Xuan to Crimson Rain. He Xuan nodded, confirming; Crimson Rain ended up tilting his head in defeat. Pei Ming nodded again. “Good. Well, Crimson Rain. With all due respect, what you two are telling me fits with things that are common among people who don’t like themselves.”
The only sign of Crimson Rain’s wrath were the flapping of wings of his butterflies as they crawled over his shoulder.
Pei Ming didn’t budge.
“With all due respect, General, I believe you are wrong.” Crimson Rain’s voice was light and dangerous, like it was before he squished an insolent ghost under his boot. “I built myself from the ground up. I like who I am.”
He Xuan was known to constantly badger Crimson Rain about how self-obsessed he was with himself, but Pei Ming might be onto something, so he kept silent.
“You like who you built up yourself to be, but you built that using as landmarks other people’s standards.” Pei Ming left his cup on the sand, gesturing. “You like the image that you made for yourself so the Xie Lian in your mind would love you. That’s all idealization.” The General tapped his own temple. “But now Xie Lian is here, and he’s yours, and he wants to know who you are.”
“He knows who I am.”
“He knows what you show him.” Pei Ming shrugged. “And you only show the parts you like. What about the parts you don’t like?”
“Gege doesn’t need to see such unsavory things.” Thankfully for all of them, Hua Cheng’s scowl was re-directed to the ocean.
“Look, I get it.” Pei Ming shifted closer. “I almost fainted twice when Huang asked me on a date. It was not my best moment.” He chuckled fondly at the memory. “But she wanted to know that part of me so she could love it, even if I don’t. Xie Lian wants to love the parts of you that bring you shame and disgust and fear. Are you telling me he’s not worthy of having what he wants?”
Oh, that twist of words. It was cheap, but beautiful. He Xuan almost applauded.
“I’m telling you that I won’t gift gege with trash.” Crimson Rain’s wrath pent up like a tide.
“You forget he’s a scrap collector.” Pei Ming’s smile made his eyes wrinkle. He Xuan forgot, sometimes, how much older he was. “What’s trash for you is gold for him.”
“And it’s not up for you to decide what’s trash and what’s gold.” He Xuan added, just because that little pearl of wisdom shouldn’t get lost in the conversation.
Pei Ming’s face did something strange, but settled in a smile. “Yes. That.”
Hua Cheng was silent for a few moments. They let him stew on that until he shot the wine from his glass in and laid back on the sand, eyes on the sky.
“I don’t know who wished for lightning to strike them dead, but you should know that didn’t work out for Lei Gong, so I’m not risking it.” Feng Xin's voice startled them, coming from the same spot Pei Ming occupied minutes ago. For some reason, Feng Xin had a bottle of baiju on his hand. It was alrady a quarter gone.
He Xuan supposed he should feel uncomfortable with all of these people showing up on his island without permission, but he knew it could backfire quite quickly. Black Water Island reacted to how he felt. If he didn’t feel guarded, then the island would open up to visitors, like it was doing right then; otherwise, it would reject them and keep them away.
Unlike Crimson Rain, he was a grown man and could take ownership of things that were his own fault.
Crimson Rain groaned and turned to his side, hiding his face on the sand, giving himself completely to his toddler side. He Xuan wondered if anyone but himself had ever seen it before.
Feng Xin sat beside He Xuan, taking in their collective appearances. His eyebrow arched up — he was getting better at that — when his eyes found Hua Cheng trying to bury himself in the sand.
“Is this about Dianxia?”
He Xuan could kiss him. “Bingo.”
“Oh.” Just like that. Feng Xin was an easy man, even easier than Pei Ming. He would just warmly accept things and go along with them wholehearted. He Xuan envied that type of confidence. “I hope it’s not bedroom problems. I can’t hear about Dianxia’s sex life. No offense.”
Another groan from Hua Cheng. He Xuan laughed, Pei Ming smiled.
“No, nothing like that.” Pei Ming assured him.
“Good.” Feng Xin took another gulp of his spirits of choice. “Then what’s the issue?”
“He’s having a bit of a moment with his self-esteem.” Pei Ming threw a significant look towards the other general.
Feng Xin frowned. “Is that because of what Mu Qing said?”
“This has nothing with your beloved husband.” Hua Cheng hissed, which told him He Xuan that Feng Xin was, surprisingly, spot on.
“What did Mu Qing say?” He asked then, curious. This was new information.
“Nothing.” Crimson Rain insisted. His glare didn’t work that well with sand all over his face.
“Back in Xianle, he wanted to apply to serve in the army.” Feng Xin explained, eliciting a frustrated growl from Hua Cheng. “But Mu Qing told Dianxia that he was too young, and had him sent away.”
“He wanted to keep gege all to himself.” His voice sounded vicious.
“He wanted to protect you.” Feng Xin counter-argued.
Which. What?
“What?” Pei Ming echoed his thoughts, looking just about as confused as He Xuan felt.
“How would his egotistical, selfish arrogance be about protecting me?” Hua Cheng finally lifted himself from the sand, wraith butterflies wiping the sand off of his skin and clothes.
Feng Xin’s frown deepened. “Don’t be an asshole about it.” His hands crackled a bit with static, like they did when he was upset. It didn’t mean he would fall into the pattern of physical aggression, but it was also not something he could help or avoid. He was the god of thunder; lightning would react to his mood like water would trickle from He Xuan. It was in his nature.
Hua Cheng said nothing. Silence spread as they all drank a few more sips, letting both parties calm themselves.
“I just wanted to fight alongside gege.”
It was a bridge if He Xuan ever saw one.
“Now we know that.” Feng Xin nodded. “But think about it. Both you and Mu Qing came from poverty. He was given the chance to cultivate, but he had no other options, had he? So when the war came, he couldn’t desert, even if he wanted to.”
“You do not need remind me of your joined betrayal.” Hua Cheng’s eye glinted red. “I am well aware of it.”
Feng Xin huffed. “You are impossible.”
“I wasn’t the one who left gege alone when he needed you the most.”
“We didn’t know!” Feng Xin threw his hands up. Electricity built up in his fists. He took a deep breath, just like He Xuan taught him. If he was a softer man, he would have felt proud. “Mu Qing is a practical man. Do you know what his secondary godship is?”
“I do not care to know.” Hua Cheng tilted his nose up.
“He’s the protector of children.” The golden god’s voice sounded sharper. “You were a child. Fighting wars is no place for children. Hell, Xie Lian was too young to be there, but he had no other choice, did he? All Mu Qing saw was a lovesick child who wanted to join a war to be near a man who was, let’s be honest, way out of your reach.” Feng Xin’s finger landed on the sand, drawing on it to distract himself. “It was not uncommon for people to have crushes on Dianxia, but Dianxia was a prince. Even as a fallen god, if the war hadn’t crushed Xianle to the ground, he would have married a princess or something. You know that.”
“Mu Qing is a practical man.” He Xuan could feel Hua Cheng’s betrayed look upon him, but so what? He was right. “It makes sense that he would send you away so you would give up childhood daydreams and focus on fundamental issues like survival, safety and sustenance.”
“Exactly!” Feng Xin nodded repeatedly. “Wars are more often than not just petty issues between royalty. Yeah, sometimes it’s about resources, but others is just about a wish to get access to jade mines, gold mines, more land, and things that don’t do anything good for anyone but the nobility.”
“And the people are the ones who suffer the most with wars.” A shadow covered Pei Ming’s face.
The general nodded again. “Yes.”
“It wasn’t the case with Xianle.” Hua Cheng’s voice dropped.
“I know, I know,” Feng Xin lifted both hands in an appeasing manner. “I was there too, remember? What I mean is: at that time, Dianxia saw everyone as subjects. Mu Qing saw you person. One who could have a whole life ahead of him. Someone who, unlike him, didn’t need to go through the war, and that could potentially thrive even if coming from hardship. You were very stubborn, Mu Qing sees that as a good thing.” He sighed. “So he tried to save you, from Dianxia and from yourself.”
“You’re making this up.” Hua Cheng shook his head. “And even so, it wasn’t in his right to tell me what I wanted. I would have died, I did die, for gege, a thousand times if I needed.”
“Yes.” Feng Xin nodded. “I would have, too. So would Mu Qing. None of us thought you were unworthy of serving just because you were poor. Mu Qing himself was poor, remember? All Mu Qing thought was that you were worthy of a change for a normal life. A job, a wife, a couple of kids, even. You were underfed, under trained and way too young. Your chances of survival in a war were very low. How could he imagine that you would be so stubborn? If things had gone Mu Qing’s way, you would have lived a happy, long life away from foolish daydreams about the crown prince of Xianle, which was the most realistic, not to say optimistic, fate for you at that time.”
Silence reigned for a few more moments. Even for He Xuan, that was a lot to take in. Of course, none of them could have known that Crimson Rain would die anyway and rise as a ghost. They couldn’t have known his obsession would take him so far. Mu Qing’s decision had been one of a practical nature, born out of class-conscience and kindness. It was difficult to fault him for that.
“All that is enlightening.” Pei Ming broke the uneasy tension. “And it points out to our solution.”
“How?” Hua Cheng still sounded poisonous.
“It’s the calligraphy challenge all over again.” He gestured a lot while he talked. Just then, He Xuan noticed his bottle of wine was more than half gone now. When did that happen? “No one can be perfect.”
“Gege is.”
If that eye-roll had been choreographed, they wouldn’t have gotten it it so synchronized.
“No one can be perfect.” Pei Ming repeated. “But love is not about that. Love is about, as Mu Qing aptly put in your wedding, a choice. It would be an easy choice if all you needed to love was the light, beautiful things about a person. But no, it’s also…” He looked down, fiddling with his hands. “It’s also cleaning up puke when one of them has an anxiety attack and can’t stand up.”
He Xuan sighed. He hated having developed a righteous side, because it forced him to follow those stupid examples such as Pei Ming’s, if only to take him out of his misery while he tried to do good by another.
“It’s your partner refusing to trust good things and to see beauty, and having to convince them over and over again that it exists.” He added, just to contribute. There, it was done. He Xuan rewarded himself with a sip of his wine.
“It’s doing your partner’s diplomatic work in secret because your partner gets so fucking frustrated they could qi-deviate from it.”
“It’s having to explain things again and again and again to your shidi because he doesn’t understand people!”
They all snapped their heads back.
The scene was ludicrous. Quan Yizhen sat on the sand with his legs spread. Between them, a small fire sat underneath a hanged cauldron, simmering colorful vapors on his face.
“How long have you been there?” Feng Xin looked just as horrified as he felt. He was sure Hua Cheng felt the same. When did they become so careless that they didn’t notice when a god descended near them?
“A while.” He shrugged.
The four of them exchanged looks.
“And what, pray tell, are you doing?” He Xuan asked, suspicious of that cauldron. Quan Yizhen wasn’t known for his patience. What could ever bring him to cooking?
“Oh, I’m brewing a potion.” He said as if it was the most natural thing ever.
Hua Cheng was behind the cauldron in a moment, evaluating the mixture. He Xuan was, as always, less paranoid than that. Especially about Quan Yizhen.
Lending him the bone dragons for the Heavenly Capital fight had been a kindness and a mistake. The youth refused to leave him alone after that, having decided they were friends. Friends. Surprisingly, he could out-stubborn He Xuan, especially since the young man was still grieving his shixiong’s absence and waiting for Hua Cheng to come back and put him back together, so. He let him stay. Which was another mistake, but, oh, well. He Xuan was too weak to say no to the insistent-innocent-sweet type of person. And being around him was what made him feel Shi Qingxuan’s absence like a missing limb, which drove him to stalk him (just a little, to see if he was okay), which drove Shi Qingxuan to figure out it was him, and that drove them into talking and deciding to try to patch things up.
He Xuan couldn’t help it, he held fondness for Yizhen.
“Why are you brewing a potion in my island, Yizhen?”
“I blew up the last one, so shixiong told me to do it where I couldn’t hurt anyone.” Yizhen answered easily. “I thought it would be empty, and then I thought that an explosion can’t kill you. And your conversation was interesting.” He took a small vial and added a few drops to the concoction, mixing it up with a long spoon. “Made me think of shixiong.”
“I have no clue what he’s brewing.” Hua Cheng walked back to them. “You might want to be careful not to inhale that.”
Yizhen, instead of answering, threw a vial at Hua Cheng, who caught it easily. It had a clear, pink tinted liquid inside.
“Shi Qingxuan tested it, it’s safe.” He assured them.
That made He Xuan perk up, looking at the vial, watching as Hua Cheng opened it and took a whiff. His single eye widened barely a fraction, but, as he had established, he had known that brat for centuries.
He was impressed.
“What is it?” Pei Ming asked, extending his hand towards it. Crimson Rain handed the vial to him, who also smelled the liquid, passing it to Feng Xin with a small smile; Feng Xin’s eyes were wide as saucers when he offered the vial to He Xuan.
“Why are you brewing potions, Yizhen?” Feng Xin made the question they were both thinking about.
Meanwhile, He Xuan let his nose hover over the neck of the vial, smelling it. His eyes widened just like Feng Xin’s, in awe.
It smelled like cherry blossoms and peaches, like sun-dried linen and a misty breeze. It smelled perfectly like Shi Qingxuan’s skin, underneath it; a feat He Xuan did not know was possible. Had he taken the essence from Qingxuan himself?
But no, there was no reason for Feng Xin or Hua Cheng to be impressed with something that smelled like Qingxuan. Which meant the scent probably adapted itself to whoever was smelling it. He could sense the faint magical aura around the liquid, although he, just like Crimson Rain, had no idea what was in it.
“Shixiong told me he wished the pillows would still smell like me when I’m gone answering prayers for a few days.” He answered like it was obvious. “So I picked up a book at Pei Ming’s library.”
“There is no such recipe in my library.” Pei Ming narrowed his eyes. “I would have known.” And used it, and sold it to everyone was left unsaid. As a business idea, it wasn’t all that bad.
“I know. But I saw similar things, so I combined stuff until it worked.”
He Xuan had to admire the single-minded determination the youth had about pleasing his Shixiong. It wasn’t quite comparable to Crimson Rain’s, but it was a hairbreadth away in intensity, if that.
Pei Ming smelled the mixture again, looking impressed. “Good work, kid. This is good.”
“You’ll like the one I’m making now too.” His eyes never left the cauldron.
“Will I?” Pei Ming’s smile came easy. Yizhen made it easy, he supposed.
Quan Yizhen nodded. “You’ll all like it.”
“What is it?” Feng Xin asked.
Yizhen was about to answer, but stopped himself. He looked around and motioned to Hua Cheng, who was closer to him, to move nearer.
Crimson Rain did so, kneeling beside him, only to be pulled by the god’s two hands as he positioned himself to whisper in Crimson Rain’s ear, cupping his hands around his mouth so they couldn’t read his lips.
Hua Cheng’s expression morphed from surprise to amusement, and then full-blown laughter.
“He’s right.” He said as he plopped back where he was before, now grinning like the loon he was. “We are all going to enjoy his new creation very much.”
At least he looked calmer. He had heard Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan gushing over how sweet Hua Cheng’s lines were, things like what matters is ‘you’, gege, not the state of you, but apparently he only applied such rules to Xie Lian, excluding even himself from them. And yet, the ease came back as things slotted into place. A single conversation would not fix Hua Cheng’s balance of mind, but he trusted them enough to talk about it, in front of Feng Xin no less. It was a good step forward into knowing himself better, like Pei Ming said, seeing himself, shadow and all, reflected on many different people, instead of just one. All he had to do now was keep moving one foot in front of the other, and he’d eventually arrive where he belonged.
That’s what He Xuan did, after all. It worked wonders for him. He would never stop mourning his family and fiancée; Qingxuan would rightfully never stop mourning his brother, but it was an undeniable fact that they belonged at each other’s side. It was something He Xuan was determinate to fix that very night; hence why he had been drinking alone, seeking a moment of peace in his island.
Trust those idiots to ruin it, and then make it better. A different sort of peace.
Pei Ming and Feng Xin traded a look and shrugged to each other, He Xuan hid his smirk behind his wine cup.
“Are you better?” He directed his eyes to Hua Cheng.
The menace nodded. He looked better, at least.
“How about this,” Feng Xin perked up. “I’ll tell you the worst stories I know about Dianxia.”
“Gege is perfect.” Hua Cheng insisted. This time he didn’t look mad, though, just amused.
“Sure, Mu Qing is also perfect.” He said easily. Hua Cheng scrunched up his nose. “See! That’s what I mean.” He laughed easily. “I’ll tell the stories of when Dianxia was spoiled, mean, selfish, cowardly, all of those things. And you’ll love him all the same.” Hua Cheng nodded, studying Feng Xin’s face. “Why don’t you trust him to do the same for you?”
“I do.” Crimson Rain downed his own wine. “Gege is amazing like that. But he deserves better than having to see ugly things, even if they are part of me.”
“How would you feel if Dianxia did the same?” Feng Xin challenged. “If he hid parts of himself because he thought them too shameful for you to see?”
Crimson Rain’s nose scrunched up again.
“Exactly.” Feng Xin shrugged.
“Maybe he’ll see beauty in what you think is ugly.” He Xuan couldn’t help but say, Qingxuan’s smile firmly etched in his mind. “Maybe he’ll help you see it, too.”
“Because he loves all of you, not just parts.” Pei Ming contributed. “He can teach you to love your own darkness.” The general looked half-lost on his thoughts.
“Because you chose to love him, and you will keep choosing to love him, and that’s what love is.” Yizhen recited behind them, barely paying attention, eyes solely focus on the cauldron in front of him, like the sentence just popped into his mind. It did pop into people’s minds quite a lot these days.
Feng Xin’s smile was smug, irreproachably proud of his husband for coming up with it; Pei Ming chuckled at something He Xuan did not understand, and Hua Cheng’s lips found their way into a wistful smile, probably remembering his wedding.
And he, himself, felt a little better too. Not that he would let them know, lest they never left him alone again.
The bright blue sky slowly morphed into an orange sunset with pink-ish fluffy clouds. The breeze was gentle, the silence was comfortable. He watched Feng Xin lay down after finishing his bottle and stare intently at the clouds. He Xuan traded a look with Hua Cheng, who shrugged, just as puzzled; Pei Ming laughed, looking up, attracting their attention.
The clouds had spread themselves thin until they were barely a translucent sheet of white in the sky. When sunlight inevitable went through them, everything was covered in rainbow-colored light. It was an inspiring sight, and an impressive display of Feng Xin's hard-earned control over his powers. He Xuan was very pleased with his shidi.
While silence was blessed and he had not quite worked through his bottle of wine, He Xuan lifted himself from the sand.
“Going somewhere?” Pei Ming asked him. Their peace was a fragile thing, based solely on Shi Qingxuan’s love. Well, now Rain Master decided to date the guy, and He Xuan was actually fond of Rain Master, which made it all the more difficult to antagonize him.
They settled on now getting in each other’s way. It worked, so far.
He wiped the sand off of his robes, wondering if he should tell them. Eh, what the hell. Hua Cheng had already made a fool of himself that afternoon; surely they wouldn’t remember his own shame after that show, would they? Especially since most of them were half-drunk.
Still, Pei Ming was a wild card there. He had to thread the news carefully.
“Yes.” He answered, standing to his full height to look a little more dignified. “I have a special date with Qingxuan tonight.”
“Special?” Feng Xin propped one hand behind his head to see him better at an angle.
He hesitated. All eyes were on him.
In for a penny, in for a pound.
He took the box from inside his robes. Even before, when he was still Ming-xiong, Shi Qingxuan always told him that he hated the idea of his brother being gifted things in exchange for his own hand in marriage. He would rather, he told Ming Yi, if he himself was asked in marriage, foregoing tradition entirely. And, as he knew, He Xuan was too weak to say no to the insistent-innocent-sweet type of person.
Hua Cheng reached for the box faster than He Xuan could stop him, opening it. In a moment, both Feng Xin’s and Pei Ming’s heads had joined him in looking, Yizhen slowly making his way there on his knees to look over Crimson Rain’s shoulder.
The Calamity whistled. “This is quite the comb.”
“Yes.” He Xuan couldn’t look up.
“Are you popping the question, then?” Feng Xin leaned back, arms around his bended legs.
“It’s the right season.” He explained simply. “Cherry trees are in full-bloom, and there are ripe peaches in the south. He likes those.” He looked back at them. "I'm going right now."
“You are doing no such thing.” Pei Ming’s frown was no surprise to He Xuan.
He bristled. “Excuse me?” Hell. He didn’t want to do this today.
All heads were turned to Pei Ming, who lifted himself from the floor.
“Look, I know Qingxuan isn’t your traditional give-betrothal-gifts-to-family person, but there are standards,” Pei Ming looked him up and down. “You can’t wear that to ask for his hand in marriage.”
He Xuan looked down, struck dumb. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”
“It’s a big day.” Pei Ming insisted. He Xuan felt there was an underlying reason for that opposition, but he couldn’t pinpoint what. “You need to dress the part.”
"You will never hear me say these words again: Pei Ming is right." Traitor, Crimson Rain was a traitor. They were doing so well. “Is your husband available?” Hua Cheng asked Feng Xin, who nodded.
“Sure, I’ll talk to him on the array.”
Crimson Rain nodded and bent his head back until he could see the young man with the cauldron. “Yizhen, where is your shixiong?”
“He’s home.” The young man looked a tad bit confused. “Why?”
“He’s the only one my tailor will take specific requests from.” Hua Cheng stood up, rolling his eyes. “Otherwise he just sews whatever he wants in red. We’ll need Yin Yu to get proper robes in such a rush; Xuan Zhen can adjust them to Black Water’s size.”
“I can do your hair, if you want.” Feng Xin shrugged. “Nothing too elaborate.”
“What—?” Things were happening too fast around him, it was hard to keep up.
“I know a jeweler who has a good pre-made collection, I’ll go pick something that suits whatever robe Yin Yu gets for you as soon as we know what it looks like.” Pei Ming clapped his shoulder. “Man up. We’re doing this.”
Dizzy, he nodded, brain still trying to pick apart what just happened. Was it an elaborate plan to delay him? He had to contact Qingxuan in case Pei Ming ordered Ling Wen to imprison him somewhere, although he would be with Xie Lian until it was time for their date, so he was probably safe until—
“Breathe.” Crimson Rain placed both his hands on He Xuan’s shoulders, grounding him.
“I’m a ghost.”
“Do it anyway.”
He Xuan scowled, but took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. The salty, cool air soothed him a little.
Shi Qingxuan wouldn’t let himself be taken. He was in heaven, and safe. Pei Ming was right there, chatting about the merits of gold versus silver thread with Feng Xin. He was not Shi Wudu.
It was alright. He was safe.
He looked in Hua Cheng’s eyes, nodding. “Thank you.”
“What happens in Black Island, stays in Black Island.” Of course the brat was trying to protect himself from his shame as well, but who cared? He Xuan just nodded.
“Alright, we got Dianxia to stall Wind Master while we get you dressed.” Feng Xin announced. “You ready?”
He was safe.
He Xuan nodded again. “I am.”
“Not yet!” Yizhen stirred the liquid inside the cauldron one, two, three times, then pushed sand onto the fire to put it out. They waited, watching as it turned from silvery blue to misty purple. “Ahá!”
“What’s that?” Hua Cheng’s smile was ever so amused.
“None of you will accept my gold bars.” He hurried to them, taking vials from his sleeves. “Will you accept this?”
“I suppose.” Feng Xin eyed his own little glass bottle with suspicion.
“Good. Drink it while it’s warm.” Yizhen’s smile was blinding. “I’ll go find shixiong!” And he was gone, leaving the cooling cauldron behind.
The four of them looked at the vials. Hua Cheng smelled his.
“What do you think?” Regretfully, more often than not, Crimson Rain was the most knowledgeable among them.
Hua Cheng picked the vial and put it on his lips, taking a sip, to He Xuan's utmost horror.
“The worst that can happen is we blow up.” He shrugged as if it was nothing. “Now, let’s go. We have a lot to do.”
He was scurried away from his own island, barely having the time to take a last look at it before leaving.
The moment he stepped foot on the balcony of the venue he reserved or them, overseeing a field of cherry trees, he cursed the menaces for making him late.
Qingxuan was already there. She looked gorgeous, as always. Facing the cherry trees, her smile was wistful and sweet.
She was also wearing something special, draped in shimmery pink fabric that accentuated the flush on her cheeks and the green in her eyes beautifully. Not that Qingxuan needed fabric to look beautiful, but the fabric made her feel beautiful, and it shone through her like the stars through the dark veil of the sky.
He approached in silent steps, but she was too used to him now, picking up his presence from afar. Her face turned to him, eyes widening in surprise.
“He Xuan?” It sounded breathy, bewildered.
“Hello.” He answered lamely.
Her eyes scrutinized him from feet to hair, taking it all in. He had convinced them he wouldn’t wear anything brighter than navy blue; they in turn convinced him to pair it with green jade and gold jewelry, gold embroidery and a ponytail with a central braid, to which he reluctantly acquiesced.
By the way she took a deep breath in, eyes darkening as her pupils occupied more of its space, it had been a good decision.
Scratch that. He had to thank the menaces for that.
Blood curling darkly in his veins, he stored it for later. It was not the time yet.
“Hungry?” He Xuan moved to pull a chair for her.
Her smile echoed his own impulses. “Starving.”
He Xuan was sure she hadn’t meant for food.
He sat down anyway, placing their order with things Qingxuan liked. The woman watched him with an adoring smile on her face, suggesting the wine once He Xuan deferred that choice to her.
Dinner went without a hitch. Everything was delicious, the ambiance was pleasant, and so was the conversation; Shi Qingxuan was enough to enrapture a whole crowd to her in her bad days, let alone tonight, when her smile was clad in moonlight.
“I was going to ask you to change into your female form too,” She batted eyelashes at him, greatly pleased. “But I can’t make myself do that now.” Her hand smoothed his robes over his chest. She used to do that a lot while he was Ming Yi, copping a feel. Of course, he knew what she was doing, and he’d let her. “Not when you look like a snack.” He felt his chest puff out like a peacock. He had done that. He pleased her.
Hell, but he owed them now. Stupid pests.
Once they finished, he offered her his arm and they took a walk among the cherry blossoms.
“Qingxuan.” He called for her, capturing her attention. It was a always a rush.
“Yes?”
“Do you remember the spring festival you took me to when we met?”
Her smile grew. “I took you to the balcony of the best inn in town.” Qingxuan smiled brightly.
“Do you remember what you did, then?” He felt his voice crack, trying to keep it together.
“Hmm.” She brought her fan to her lips, tapping it. Then her eyes brightened, remembering. “The sakura dance!”
He Xuan nodded, smiling. “Could you do that again?”
Her eyes widened again, but she nodded.
He let go of her hand, stepping back. He would never get tired of watching.
Qingxuan took a few steps forward, and then back, arms willing the winds to obey her. Like an old friend, it did, collecting cherry blossoms from the trees and swirling them in an impressive and fragrant spiral, just to fall onto them later as a pink, delicate rain. It was a wonderful sight.
When Qingxuan managed to look away from the falling petals and back at He Xuan, he was already on his knee.
“Oh.” Her teal eyes acquired a new brightness as the sheen of tears covered them. “Oh, He-xiong…”
“I was hoping you would give me the honor of calling me your zháng fu, Shi Qingxuan.” He offered her the box.
Qingxuan lowered her head for him to place the promise comb on it, wiping her tears with her hand. When he stood, cupping her delicate face with both hands, she jumped into his arms to kiss him, tasting of peaches and salt.
They stayed like that, in each other’s embrace, for a little while.
Qingxuan was the one to part them, chuckling wetly, hand chasing away the last of her tears. “Well, He-xiong…” She took one step back, eyes taking his form in again. “I don’t know who styled you today, but I could kiss them.”
“Please don’t.” He said automatically, holding her hand and pulling her to himself.
She went without resisting, chuckling again. “Crimson Rain?”
“Among others.” He admitted begrudgingly, tucking away her hair behind her hear, just to have a reason to touch her.
Qingxuan, of course, looked delighted. “You had a team? Oh, I’ll send them chocolate boxes.” Her lips found his again, and again, until he couldn’t feel his feet on the floor anymore. “Later, though.”
“Ah?” Dazed, he followed her where she pulled him by the hand, a mirthful smile on her face.
“Yes, zuì qīn'ài de rén.” Her hands found the lapels of his robes again, pulling him against her fiercely. “Now I have to peel that amazing wrapping they put around the second part of my dinner, don’t I?”
He nodded along until he remembered. “Oh. Yes, I almost forgot, there’s—“ He picked up the purple-tinted vial, handing it to Qingxuan. “Do you have any idea what this is?”
Her eyes told him she did. “Oh, my dearest… where did you get this?” Her eyes looked almost fully black now, pupils covering most of the available space of her iris.
He swallowed dry. “Huh. It was a gift.”
“Be sure to thank that person too.” She pecked his lips. “I’ll show you how to use it. Come with me.”
And he followed her. He followed her because he would follow her anywhere. When his revenge was done and he didn’t dissipate, he didn’t understand what was happening. The first time he laid his eyes on Qingxuan again, he understood immediately.
Beside her, he could not doubt the existence of beauty and goodness in the world. Beside her, he knew he would learn how to love his own darkness, just as he would coax her into loving her own.
Looking into her eyes, he knew it was the time for the trust fall. He would step backwards into beauty, and trust Shi Qingxuan would be there to catch him.
FIN.