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Red eyes observed the children, following their unpredictable paths and listening to their incessant screeching. They focused on the noise and movement, steeling the face to hide the rising emotions. Yet there were eyes, always looking, staring into their direction. Paper, caught between slender fingers, twisted and morphed but not never tearing. It was creased, dampened by sweat, but held so tightly as though it meant the world.
There was no need to worry, came the repeating lie. No one cares. No one is looking.
You are so ridiculous, answered the lie. They think you are stupid. Everyone saw you.
A body, feeling too small, forced itself further into the corner. Hardened brick bit into the spine, shadows hiding the form from the furious sun. A pain bit at the eyes, the red iris muted by watery pain. They looked away from the public, afraid to meet the pitiful gaze. They didn’t need this.
They didn’t need to see how pathetic he was.
C:C:
If there was one thing Techno would say was interesting about the world, it would be the existence of cat people.
Yeah, he was scared to ask how, too.
But it was a type of human cat–a variant that had existed for a few centuries now, breeds of all sorts existing in this shared world of humans. Techno supposed it could have been cool, if not for how ridiculous it made the people look. Having two fuzzy ears stuck out from a mismatched shade of hair was always unfortunate, and if you were part of the majority of those with long tails they would be stepped on.
Though Techno supposed, there were fates worse than being a feline-hybrid. The people were typically the children who were adopted out the fastest, normal humans finding the cute ears and behavior “adorable.” “House cats,” as many lovingly described them, were your average hybrid who shared the traits of a normal domesticated cat. Siamese, Maine coon, whatever an elf cat was, they were all found within the category. Or, as Techno liked to classify them, the lucky ones.
To be given a title in the first place they had to have a need for one. In the eyes of the people, it was the need to differentiate the tame from the dangerous. “Wild cats” the ones who matched with tigers, lions, and servals were wild cats. They were natural-born predators, only known to kill, and therefore too dangerous to be in the average household. If you took one, you said to be putting your family in danger.
It was the boat Techno was left in, a wild cat that no one wanted. It wasn’t too bad, if he were to be optimistic, he was left alone most of the time meaning he could read more. He was also considered “passing” with his blond ears and tail mistaken as some sort of birth defect. So long as he didn’t linger for long, the people were too busy to notice.
However, his type was his downfall in the end. Stuck in foster care for most of his life, Techno was often overlooked by interested parents or he was reported as “misbehaving.” Added that he was only fourteen, Techno did not have any easy way to start himself fresh. Especially not when–
“Techno?! Techno!! Phil, I found him!!”
Techno was jolted from his thoughts as he was assaulted by a small child. Limbs went flying, a pained cry, and both were sprawled out on the ground. From the brief flash of red and yellow in his vision, Techno needed no more to identify this nuisance.
“Hello, Tommy,” Techno greeted dryly while he pried the claws from his neck and arm. The child, like Techno, was a hybrid but of the house kind. He was a pixie bomb, one of the breeds who did not have to worry for their tail’s safety.
Tommy’s smile grew, “Technoblade, Technoblade!! Guess what? Guess what?!? They have a candy store here!!”
“Oh, I thought it was something important.”
Tommy pouted, his ears folding with irritation. Techno fought back a smile, turning his eyes back to the park. He had thought his spot under the oak tree’s shade would have been enough to keep him undisturbed, yet, once again, he had underestimated the younger boy.
From behind, Techno heard a twig snap, and from the twitch of Tommy’s tabbied ears, he had heard it too. Both boys lifted their gazes in time to watch a human step around the trunk of the tree. His clothes disheveled and his long, blond hair tangled Techno would hazard a guess the adult had just chased Tommy across the park. Still, the man put on his best face for the boys. Techno would give him credit, he was trying really hard to be a good foster dad.
“PHIL!!!!” Tommy screeched and jumped back to his feet. The little hybrid ran to the man, wrapping himself around the taller’s leg. Techno watched from his seat, silent.
“Phil, Phil! I want candy, Phil!” Tommy pulled on the adult’s hand, dragging him closer to where Techno sat. “Please?! Techno wants some, too!!”
“Heh?” Techno blinked.
“Tommy,” Phil, before Tommy could realize what was happening, picked up the hyper little boy. “You’ve had plenty of sugar for today. Besides, Mumza has dinner planned at home, remember?”
Techno sniffed, turning back to watch the world. He ignored the look Phil gave him.
“But Phiiiiiiiiil,” Tommy leaned backward, pulling Phil with him. “I have low blood sugar, remember? Do you want me to die?!?”
“Shut,” Phil put Tommy down much to the child’s immediate disapproval. “You’re not going to die. Besides, you’re banned from most stores.”
“Am I, though?”
“Yes.”
Tommy huffed, folding his arms and glaring at the ground. Techno snickered, he had seen many of Tommy’s confrontations and they always played the same. He wondered if Tommy would spice it up in some way.
“What if Techno got it?”
He shouldn’t have asked.
“What?”
Tommy nodded ecstatically, pointing directly at Techno as though there could be some chance of confusion, “Techno can get it, right? Right?!”
“Well,” Phil bit his lip, mulling the idea over, “I suppose he could.”
Phil had hardly finished talking before Tommy was dashing back to the cougar under the tree, apparently intent on keeping Techno from his thoughts. The wildcat jerked in response, shoulders bunching and fangs bared in a warning. Tommy grinned, either oblivious or stupid.
“Technoblade!” The twelve-year-old pressed his face into Techno, cheek-to-cheek, “My pal, my friend, my brother! I need you to do something super, very important. The fate of the world depends on it. Will you help me?!”
“Absolutely not.” The words were on Techno’s tongue, ready and willing to be used. Technoblade did not run errands, especially not for candy, let alone random assignments from the pixie bob. Yet he could not get his tongue to work, his parted lips allowing short squeaks of vocal participation. He didn’t want to do it.
Tommy pushed himself closer, his chest beginning to rumble with a purr, “Pleassssssssssssse? You’ll be even cooler than Wilby! Even better than Philza Minecraft!!”
Now that was a tempting thought. To best the smug little brat that was Phil’s son would be a very rewarding accomplishment. However, he would have to socialize with the mortals. The idea made him sick.
“I can’t go,” Techno pushed Tommy away, using the first excuse to come to mind. “I don’t have money. I’m not goin’ to jail for a Hershey’s bar, Tommy.”
The boy huffed, ears folding only to spring back a moment after. He ran back to Phil, grabbing their foster father’s arm and giving it a firm tug, “Give Techno your money, bitch.”
Phil’s face twisted at the obscenity, a disgusted expression Techno was familiar from his time with former caretakers. It was never a good look. Taking initiative, the cougar stood up with his eyes trained on the adult for sudden moves. His tail twitched, indicative of his readiness to escape if the moment went south. Phil looked from Tommy to Techno; their eyes locked, and the world stood still.
Phil tilted his head, “Techno? Are you alright?”
Tommy followed Phil’s example, turning to the older boy with confusion. Techno swallowed, but held his place under the scrutiny of their gazes. It was an odd question to be asked, certainly out of the norm, but he would not let himself be seen off guard. Techno pulled back, his ears flattening against his head.
“Blade?” Tommy pulled Techno’s sleeve.
Great, now the kid was using his emotions against him. Techno shook his hand free, giving Tommy a nasty look, “’M fine. I’ll get the candy. Just need a way to pay.”
The return of topic was enough to shift Tommy back into a beaming puppy, running back and forth while muttering back and forth to himself. At least he was distracted, but Phil still held his furrowed expression. He leaned forward, placing a hand on Techno’s shoulder.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Phil spoke softly.
Techno sniffed, brushing the hand away, “He’ll be a pain if I don’t. Might as well buy some and ration it off.”
Phil hesitated, and Techno knew the man didn’t trust him––the fosters rarely did––but Tommy’s return to pestering was enough to convince the adult. Phil reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a couple of notes, handing them to Techno, “Get something for yourself too, okay?”
Techno took the money carefully, the most he had ever held in his hand, “‘Kay.”
Techno looked to Tommy, warning him to behave, before setting set off for, where he assumed, was the correct direction. The park they were in was set by the side of a row of stores, and if it was dealing with sweets then it was going to be obnoxious and bright for attracting children. It wouldn’t be hard. As he made his walk towards the paved walkway, he ran through the calculations in his head, estimating all that he needed to be back at his spot in ten minutes.
Stepping into the row of other pedestrians, Techno had been fine at first. He had already spotted the store and from there he fixed the best path to the neon-lit doors, but then something changed. Halfway through, his thoughts, which had once been soft whispering, grew louder and his pace slowed. He knew what they were, it wasn’t their worst, but the whispers of doubt were still an overwhelming growl. The cougar stopped, staring at the shop as his anxiety wormed into his head.
“You’re going to mess this up.”
The thought, the image, of him failing was convincing enough to turn around. He didn’t want to do this, and he wasn’t being forced to do this. The voice grew quiet, pleased, only for a second to rise from the soils of his mind.
“But Tommy wants candy.”
That was true, Tommy did want candy, and he was counting on Techno to deliver. The boy stopped, half-step, knowing he had to turn back. Except, his mind pointed out how many more figures there were than before, a forest of legs and bodies that constantly moved. His thoughts were quick to butt in, pointing out how stupid he was for standing there in the middle of the path.
“Everyone is staring.”
Techno shook his head, but the thoughts remained. They told him to go back; they told him to do the job; they told him to stay still. Without thinking, Techno began walking, fighting the confused tears that stung in the corner of his eyes.
“Don’t cry, not in public. Don’t be selfish.”
Techno agreed. How could he not? He had to focus on the objective; he need not let weakness take over. He closed his eyes, if only to make sense of the situation, and he made the mistake. He collided with something, someone, as evidenced by the noise they made. Techno’s eyes snapped open and he looked up, immediately locking eyes. There was no discernable emotion behind stranger’s eyes, yet Techno knew he was in trouble.
He had stepped out of line; he had made a mistake. Techno turned tail and ran without a second thought, his instincts flaring. He knew that they were looking at him, multiple eyes that watched him as he ran through the crowd. Gazes that had seen what he had done. All at once, people were turning to judge the boy who had interrupted their peaceful afternoon, tearing him apart little by little. It was so much, too much, and in the end Techno could only do what his instincts told him: find a small, dark place and hide.
So he did; he found an opening within the area, squashed between two buildings, and hid. It wasn’t the best place, his instincts reminded him of as much, but it was better than being in the open. There wasn’t much else he could do other than sit still and hope they forgot. He would450al,n’t move.
Techno hadn’t been keeping track of the time, but he knew that it had been some time since he had left Tommy with Phil. He knew that it had been far longer than ten minutes. He knew that he should have been back by this time, a bag of candy in one hand and a screeching Tommy at his heels. It was such a simple task, and he had messed it up so bad Tommy was probably worried about him. They would come looking for him, Tommy wouldn’t shut up until they did, and then he would have to admit to his failure.
Techno bit into his lip, his sharp canines burrowing into the supple flesh. The idea of Tommy’s disappointment for his blunder was enough to draw fresh tears to his eyes. The knowledge that he had promised yet was unable to carry through stung deeper than he would have liked.
“Stupid,” Techno hissed under his breath, pulling the money closer to his chest. The word repeated like a mantra in his head, matching the movement of his lips. He knew he had to stop crying; he had to do something other than sit on the dirty ground and wait until someone came to investigate. But just thinking of either outcome would send another spike of anxiety through his body, and he was left frozen in place. A loop. He was stuck in a loop. “Stupid, stupid, stupid….”
A noise, one so distant but he knew as familiar, pulled him briefly from his attack to look over the real world again. It wasn’t difficult to find the sound’s source; the curly brown hair and comically nerdy glasses were enough for Techno to recognize Phil’s son, Wilbur. He was also a cat-hybrid, a rare brown breed with round, fuzzy ears and a matching slim tail.
How Wilbur had gotten so close without being noticed, Techno wasn’t too keen on finding the answer. If he was being honest, Techno wasn’t fond of Wilbur; he was too extroverted and not in the charming way that Tommy was. However, he couldn’t lie; the sight of Phil’s son was the best thing he had ever seen at that moment.
“Techno!” Wilbur beamed, his tail wagging lazily behind him. He reached out to grab Techno’s shoulder, but the wildcat moved back. Wilbur was undeterred, “What are you doing here? Dadza’s been really worried, we’ve been looking all over the place. Well, I have…Dad had to take Tommy away from here because he was trying to break windows and was ‘harassing the public.’”
Techno snorted as he pictured the small pixie-bob running around the square threatening people with rocks. That certainly would get his attention, and Techno was surprised he didn’t notice when it occurred.
“Oi, Techno!” Wilbur had grabbed him, giving his shoulders a shake, “Are you okay? You’re crying….”
Realization hit him like a truck. He was still crying, and even more so since Wilbur had arrived. Ashamed, he jerked from Wilbur’s grasp with a growl.
“Go away! I don’t want you here!!”
Techno’s growl deepened, a warning, hoping that Wilbur would take the hint and leave. Well, it wasn’t much of a hint, but for someone as thickheaded as Wilbur, it was. The wildcat knew the older boy would just get Phil, and then Techno would be in a worse situation, but he would just fight then, too. He didn’t want to be seen like this, and the fact he had already been found this way wasn’t ideal.
But Wilbur did not go away.
Techno growled, spinning around to face the boy with teeth bared, “Are you deaf?! I don’t want you here!”
Wilbur stared, blinking once, twice, and then he was laughing, “You’re terrible at lying.”
Techno’s face fell, and he squeaked, “Wh-what?”
Without invitation, Wilbur took a seat beside Techno, where he reclined against the brick wall, “You’re trying too hard; it gave you away. Take it from me; it’s all about composure.”
Techno continued to stare.
Wilbur continued by placing his hand atop Techno’s head, “I’ll give you credit; it was kinda cute watching you try.”
“...What.”
Wilbur’s grin grew, “I can see right through you, Techie. No point in trying to lie, so why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“Don’t,” Techno glowered, “call me Techie.”
Wilbur ignored the threat, “Look, either you tell me what’s going on, Techie, or I’ll start singing a song all about you. Right here, right now, really, really loud.”
Once again, Wilbur had Techno’s attention, a pair of red eyes that screamed, “don’t you dare.” But Wilbur would dare, he would not falter in his stance, and he did not bluff. Wilbur didn’t care even if Techno were dangerous by society’s standards, by every standard brought up by adults when talking about Techno. Perhaps because he didn’t understand, or maybe because he was just stupid. Techno would hazard it was the latter. All Techno knew was he had a record, documented by law and explained to every foster home he was put in. He was dangerous.
So when Techno took too long to respond, Wilbur jumped to his feet and cleared his throat. And in a cadence much too lovely for the circumstance, he began to sing, “OoooooooooH!!! Technoblade~ You are my Techie-blade!~ My itty-bitty little-baby Techie-bla–”
“SHUT UP!” Techno dragged Wilbur back to the ground, snapping his fang millimeters from the elder’s face. Wilbur only grinned, absolutely relaxed with his situation.
“Tell me the truth,” Wilbur spoke far too sweetly.
Techno’s body seized, the notes Phil had given him crushed under his palm. He was running out of options, and his most potent tactic, intimidation, wasn’t working. Logically, violence would come next, but Techno couldn’t bring himself to for some reason. No matter how annoying Wilbur was, he was Phil’s son and, therefore, the favorite. Techno would be punished, probably thrown in a cage like most did when he misbehaved. They would call child services and take him away, and Tommy would follow regardless. He couldn’t do that to Tommy; he couldn’t fail him worse than he already had.
“T-Techno?” Wilbur’s voice cut through his thoughts. It was much softer this time, “You’re crying again.”
Wilbur was right. Abandoning his purpose, Techno let go, hurrying to wipe away the stinging tears on his cheeks. He swore, this time unable to stop them. He couldn’t, it was falling too fast, and it hurt so much. Why did he have to lose control again?!
Idiot. His mind whispered. Why do you have to be so stupid? Why did you bother trying to fight Wilbur? Why did you think you could get away with this?! Tommy was going to lose his home because of him.
“Techno, Techno,” Wilbur grabbed both of Techno’s arms, pulling him to stand and look at him. “Tell me what’s going on. Do you want me to get Dad?”
Techno shook his head, “No, please don’t. Don’t…Don’t get Phil.”
“Okay,” Wilbur whispered, “Okay, okay. I won’t get Dad, but you need to tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you, Techno, but I need to know what’s wrong.”
“T-Tommy,” Techno said before he could stop himself. “Tommy wants candy.”
“Sorry?”
And as though a dam had been broken, Techno broke down, “T-Tommy wanted candy, and he..he wanted me to get him some, I said I would. I promised!”
Why did he have to be so pathetic?
“For Tommy?” Wilbur repeated. Even through his emotions, Techno could hear the skepticism in his voice. “Techno, you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to….”
“But I do want to!” Techno cried, pulling at the arms that held him still. “I said I would; I wanted him to be happy. But then–then, there was so much going on. There were so many people, and I got confused. Then I ran into someone, and suddenly everyone was watching. Wilbur, Wilbur, people were looking at me. I messed up, and Tommy…I can’t get him what he wants.”
Wilbur was staring at him; Techno knew without looking. He was judging him. Wilbur was realizing how pathetic the cougar-hybrid was. How weak the predator really was, and Techno wished he could disappear there and then. Wilbur would tell Phil and Kristin, and he would be made fun of and looked down upon. It was over.
“Let me go,” Techno muttered, pressing his hands firmly against Wilbur’s chest. “Just leave me alone.”
“But, Techno,” Wilbur blinked.
“It’s stupid, okay?!” the wildcat screamed. “What more do you want me to say?!”
“...I want candy.”
“Heh?”
Wilbur smiled, tilting his head slightly and letting his ear twitch, “I want some candy, but I don’t really feel like going alone. There’s safety in numbers you know.”
Techno stared; surely this was some ploy at humiliating him further, right? Wilbur didn’t seem like the guy who would pass up such an opportunity to mess with Techno’s life. Was he this willing to extend this act just to humiliate Techno further?
“Well?” Wilbur prodded Techno’s shoulder. “Will you come with me?”
Techno hesitated, the words lost in his throat. He wanted to hiss and growl again, tell Wilbur to off himself, but he didn’t. Because there was no point, Wilbur would tell Phil, and he and Tommy would be taken away. It was no small matter for a wildcat to attack a domestic, and they wouldn’t want him anymore. He might as well get Tommy the chocolate he had been promised.
With a wavering hand and tears still slipping down his face, Techno nodded his head. With a grin that Techno knew could only be conniving, Wilbur took Techno’s hand in his and towed him along towards the sweets shop.
C:C:
“Techno!” Tommy screeched upon spotting the pair of boys. “Did you get the candy?!”
Without waiting for an answer, Tommy was clawing at Techno’s leg, attempting to scale the limb to reach the bag of assumed candy. Techno, too used to the behavior, relented the bag to his companion, watching with amusement when Tommy immediately ran off. Phil’s curse under his breath only sweetened the deal.
Of course, the moment could not last. Phil looked away from the ecstatic boy to stare Techno down, an unknown emotion on his face. “Techno, where have you been? I was worried, mate.”
Techno sniffed, knowing that it was a lie. They were only empty words meant to make him relax enough to admit his deeds. Anyways, it was useless to reply, not when Wilbur was already butting into the conversation.
“He got lost,” Wilbur beamed up at his father, his tail lashing contently. “Decision-wise, that is. He wanted to get the best candy, but he couldn’t decide, so I helped him. Right, Tech?”
“Oh, uh, yeah….”
Philza eyed the boys, expression narrowing in search for, Techno was sure, lies. However, he was surprised when the adult smiled and nodded at his son. Then blue eyes were on him.
“Regardless, it’s good to know you’re safe, Techno.”
Techno stared, again wondering if this were some strange joke, but if it was, the punchline was interrupted by Tommy’s screeching. Phil ran after the youngest who had angered a gang of geese.
“See?” Wilbur leaned into Techno’s space, “that’s how you lie.”
Techno eyed the brown cat, lips curling at the smug smile, “What do you want?”
Wilbur blinked, “Why, Techno, whatever do you mean?”
“I mean–”
“Oh! That’s right!” Wilbur clapped his hands. Techno, more confused than angry, watched Wilbur rummage through the bag of candy he had collected. From it, he draws an obnoxiously bright, red package from within. It was shaped into a heart, the words “I LOVE YOU!!!” written in cursive gold. How Wilbur had managed to buy it without Techno noticing the wildcat wasn’t sure. All he knew was he hated the box.
And as soon as he had decided he hated it, the box pressed it into his hands.
“There we go!” Wilbur beamed, looking over the stunned Techno like an artist surveying their work. “You touched it last, so it’s yours now. No pass backs~.”
Techno faltered, “I-uh, no thanks. I really don’t–”
Wilbur shrieked, “Techno Blade! Are you rejecting my love already? I spent my own money on that, and you’re just going to throw it away?”
“Well, I–“ Techno snapped his mouth shut. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pulled the box closer, “Thanks.”
Techno stared down at the box, his mind turning and attempting to make sense of the situation. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been given gifts before; it was just that a caretaker’s child hadn’t given him gifts. Not like this, not from the other’s first sacrifice. There had to be some sort of catch.
“Hey, Techno?”
Ah. There it was.
“Yeah?”
Wilbur appeared…nervous. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was, but the Cheshire grin had disappeared, and he looked much tenser. With a deep exhale, cold brown eyes turned to face him.
“Look, I won’t sugarcoat this. What happened back there was a mess.”
Techno dipped his head. Here it was.
“So promise me this,” Wilbur catches the younger’s hand in his, jerking his attention up, “next time you feel that way, if you get overwhelmed, let me know? I-it doesn’t have to be a huge show, just tug my arm, o-or we could make a secret code word. Just, please, Techno, at least let me know. Can you promise me that much?”
Techno seized, a million thoughts running through his head at once. This was a new request that went against every response from the past. And Techno wasn’t sure if he liked it. At least with demands of “get over it,” there was some kind of familiarity. Here, he wasn’t sure how to take it.
He knew how he would have answered. He would have jerked his arm from Wilbur’s grasp, hissed at him, and reminded the elder boy that they weren’t family. They had no ties past the paperwork. Yet the harsh words were lost on his tongue, his mind rearing on the fact that Wilbur’s fingers were clutching to his sleeves. That no matter how much he searched, there was not an ounce of deceit in them. How at that moment, Wilbur indeed looked desperate. The way the boy had not budged since his demand, unwilling to look away from Techno.
Techno knew his answer; he had promised himself he wouldn’t get close to another again. Yet at that moment, seeing his rival, a person who should hate him for taking his family, be so rigid in his stance changed him.
Techno couldn’t let himself get close again, yet he bowed his head and pressed his forehead into the shoulder of a boy he had known for only a few weeks. He was falling, yet he whispered soft confirming words just so that Wilbur could relax. His persona was cracking, and when Wilbur brushed his hand over pink hair, the noise that bubbled in Techno’s throat shattered his mask. In the arms of a kid only a few months older than him, he allowed his weakness to show.
Wilbur shushed him softly, nuzzling into the mop of wild hair, “Don’t worry, don’t worry, Techno. We’ll do it together. Together.”
And for the moment, Techno believed him.