Week 5

‘And you’re absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent sure that it’s mine?’

Remus gave him an unimpressed look. ‘Yes. I am one hundred percent sure that it’s yours. Who else is it going to be?!’

‘Oh I don’t know.’ Sirius looped his arms around Remus’ waist, splaying his hands across his stomach to rub gentle circles. ‘We all know you’ve got a thing for my cousin.’

Remus visibly gagged. ‘Don’t remind me. I couldn’t look Tonks in the eye for weeks .’ He gave a full body shudder. ‘Can you even imagine?’

‘What? Shagging Tonks or shagging a woman?’

‘Both. That was hands down one of the worst nightmares I’ve ever had.’

‘Worse than the one where Mad-Eye got his eyeball and jammed it up your-’ 

Remus shoved him, hard. ‘Shut up. I wish I’d never told you about that.’

Sirius just laughed and tugged Remus back against him, kissing the top of his head. ‘Show me again?’

‘Maybe I don’t want to.’

‘Please?’ Sirius tried to cajole. He dropped to his knees and pressed a flurry of kisses over Remus’ belly. 

Remus made a noise that sounded like ‘Harumph’ but Sirius could see he was biting back a smile. 

‘Please?’ He tried again. ‘When I was stuck in Azkaba-’

‘If you try the rotting for twelve years in Azkaban line with me one more time Sirius Black!’

Sirius nipped at the soft strip of skin just visible between shirt and trousers, smiling at the audible hitch of breath from above him. ‘Okay, okay,’ he mumbled and then looked up to catch Remus’ eye. ‘Please?’ He mouthed over Remus through his trousers. ‘For Daddy ?’

‘Fuck you.’ Remus bit out, his hips pressing forward involuntary. ‘I hate you.’

‘Mmm hmm,’ Sirius sucked softly, the light brown fabric darkening and then pulled away to admire his handiwork. He got to his feet and took Remus’ face in both hands.

‘And don’t think for one second that this is for you,’ Remus closed his eyes as Sirius pushed a solid thigh in between Remus’ legs and bent to lick a hot stripe up his neck.

‘Course not.’ Sirius pulled Remus forward, encouraging a slow, dirty grind. ‘This,’ he rolled his hips hard, revelling in the low groan that bubbled out of Remus’ mouth, ‘Is definitely not for me.’

‘Smug bastard,’ Remus threw back at him, leaning his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder. ‘Don’t you dare stop.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it darling.’ He ran his hands round to cup Remus’ arse and then continued the slide so they were pressed up against each side of Remus’ flat stomach. ‘Gorgeous.’

‘There’s noth- there’s nothing to see yet.’ Remus breathed out, the shudders running through him becoming more pronounced. ‘Won’t be for- for a while, oh!’

‘I wasn’t talking about the baby, my love. Just you. So soft,’ he bent to nip at the underside of Remus’ jaw, ‘So perfect,’ he pressed his knee more firmly against Remus, ‘And so good , carrying our baby so carefully.’

‘Ah!’

Remus shook as he came and Sirius helped him through it, slipping his hands round to grasp Remus’ hips pushing and pulling him against his thigh.

‘Mmm.’ He hummed as Remus slumped further against him, breathing hard. ‘Beautiful thing. Feeling better?’

‘Sticky.’ came Remus’ muffled response and Sirius laughed and with a gentle wave of his hands he heard Remus sigh. 

‘There we go.’ He coaxed Remus upright to stand on his own two feet, brushing the sweaty mop of curls off his forehead. 

‘What?’ Remus asked him suspiciously, face still flushed. 

‘Oh nothing,’ Sirius shrugged, a smirk clearly painted on his face. ‘Just that I think someone has a new kink unlocked.’

‘Oh my God, shut up!’ Remus reached out and hit at Sirius’ chest weakly. ‘No I do not.’

‘Really? Because I could have sworn that thirty seconds ago you were falling apart in my arms over some sweet words.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself.’ Remus grumped, ‘I’m pregnant and horny. And anyway before you so rudely interrupted me with your stupid thigh you were wondering whether it was yours or not!’

Sirius’ face softened. ‘I was joking, Re. You know that.’

‘Well it wasn’t a very nice thing to joke about. When you got yourself locked up in Azkaba-’

‘Don’t you try the waiting for me for twelve years while I was in Azkaban line with me Remus Lupin!’

They both looked at one another and then burst out laughing and Sirius pitched and swept Remus up into his arm, bridal style, kissing him soundly on the mouth.

‘We’ve got to stop doing that,’ Remus laughed into Sirius’ mouth. ‘It makes people so uncomfortable.’ 

‘But that’s why we do it. Making people uncomfortable is our thing .’ Sirius gave Remus one last kiss on the tip of his nose and put his down, catching his hand and walking them over to the large, crimson sofa by the window. He pulled Remus down into his lap.

‘Show me?’ He whispered, offering Remus his own wand. ‘I want to see what we made. Together.’

Remus relaxed back against him and lifted the hem of his shirt. He waved the wand in a figure of eight, catching the silvery ball of light that blossomed from its tip. He held it up, releasing it into the air and then tapped it twice. A tiny thing, no bigger than an orange pip appeared, pulsing and flickering.’

‘Oh.’ Sirius breathed, his arms wrapping around Remus tightly. ‘Oh, Moony .’

‘I know.’ Remus sighed, content. ‘That’s our baby.’

Week 13 

Remus was bustling around, definitely not nesting thank you very much Sirius, when Harry knocked on the open door. Remus smiled to himself. Harry’s visits were often the highlight of his day; he loved his teaching but spending time with his Godson topped everything. Well, pretty much everything - his mind immediately spinning back to earlier that morning when Remus had told Sirius that he thought there might be a little bump appearing and suddenly he was pressed against the bedroom door with Sirius’ mouth-

‘Moony?’ 

Remus shook his head, willing his blood back south as Harry called again and then there was the soft padding of footfalls coming down the narrow corridor that led to the main rooms. 

‘Come in Hazzie,’ Remus called back as he finished off folding a new fairisle blanket and laying it carefully in the blanket box. ‘Do you want tea?'

Harry appeared in the doorway, hair mussed from Quidditch; he was still wearing his training gear and it was splattered with mud, all up his legs and sides. Remus cringed inwardly, already mourning his cream sofa. ‘No, I'm good.’ He sat down, kicking both legs up. Remus sighed, he could already see mud on one of the cushions. ‘I just drank about a litre of water after practise.’

‘No Draco today?’ Remus asked as he batted at Harry’s legs; Harry lifted them up and Remus sat down. Harry promptly let his legs fall back heavily onto Remus’ thighs.

‘Nah. He’s gone for a shower.’

‘And you didn’t fancy helping him wash his hair?’

‘Oh my God shut up.’ Harry mumbled, and Remus could see the flush blooming on his cheeks underneath the dark skin. ‘That was one time.’

‘What was one time?’ Sirius appeared from the bedroom; he’d been on a floo call with some bigwig from the ministry. 

‘Nothing!’ Harry said, far too quickly and Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and then looked at Remus too, spotting that Harry’s legs were laying across him. 

All previous suspicions forgotten he looked directly at Remus’ stomach, which was free from any teenage gangle of legs, but Remus already knew what was coming. 

‘Harry move your legs please,’ he said. 

‘But I’m comfy,’ Harry complained, not moving a muscle and at the same time Remus said, ‘Sirius, it’s fine.’

‘Move your legs!’ Sirius demanded again but this time his voice had taken on what Remus and Harry usually joked was his Alpha tone - normally reserved for important meetings at work. Harry looked at him curiously and slid his legs off Remus, tucking them underneath him instead. 

‘Thank you.’ Sirius didn’t bother to hide his relief and he moved to perch on the arm of the sofa, placing a hand between Remus’ shoulder and beginning to rub in slow circles. 

Harry levelled him with a look and in that moment he looked so like James that Remus suddenly felt a pang of longing and he felt his breath hitch. Neither Harry or Sirius missed it. Stupid hormones Remus thought to himself. 

‘Moony?’ Harry peered at him and Remus laughed deprecatingly. 

He rubbed his eyes quickly, blinking away the wetness that had collected there. ‘Sorry, I'm being silly. You just looked so like your dad for a minute.’

‘Oh.’ Harry was used to his Godfather’s saying that, although it was rarely accompanied by tears. He moved over so Sirius could move next to Remus and they immediately cuddled together. ‘You’re both being weird.’

‘What? I can’t give my Moony a cuddle now? Last week you yelled at us because you walked in on us snogging!’

‘Ergh, don’t remind me,’ Harry shivered. ‘You tongue was literally shoved down his throat.’ He pulled a face. ‘Gross.’

‘Sure you want to open that can of worms, sprog?’ Remus said with a pointedly raised brow. ‘Or do we need to revisit last Thursday’s Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson? Although it wasn’t a tongue that was shoved down somewhere, was it Haz?’

‘Oh my God, shut up Moony,’ Harry muttered, shifting uncomfortably and far too obviously avoiding Sirius’ gaze. ‘We said we were sorry.’

‘Yes, well,’ Remus started breezily. ‘Sorry doesn’t stop the nightmares Harry. It doesn’t stop the nightmares.’

Sirius looked at him alarmed. ‘You’re having nightmares?! Why didn’t you wake me?!’ He twisted round and then grabbed Remus’ hand, pulling it into the lap. Have you not been sleeping properly?! How long has this been going on for?! Do you need to see a Healer?’ He got up and began to pace, ‘I’ve got a meeting first thing tomorrow that I really shouldn’t miss,’ he seemed to be talking to himself, ‘But I'm sure I could try and rearrange it, this is far more important. Or…’ He looked at Remus, ‘Yes. We should go. Come on!’ He reached out a hand and looked expectantly at Remus, who didn’t take it. 

‘Sirius.’

‘We’ll go to Mungo’s now and then you’ll be set for tonight.’

‘Sirius. Love. I’m fine.’

‘But you said you weren’t sleeping!’

‘No,’ Remus said patiently. ‘ You said I wasn’t sleeping.’

‘I- I- Well! Er…’ SIrius stuttered, still mid-way through trying to put his coat on one handed. 

Remus looked fond. ‘Sirius, sit down.’ Sirius sat.

‘Ok. What’s going on?’ Harry, who had watched the whole exchange feeling increasingly more and more bemused, rounded on them both. ‘Even for you this is not normal behaviour.’

Remus and Sirius laughed. Full, joyful sounds that filled the space, their magic darting around, playing off each other and making the air that surrounded them sparkle. 

‘We found something out.’ Remus told him. ‘Something that surprised us both. Something that we weren’t expecting.’

There was a pause while Remus and Sirius exchanged horribly soppy looks and Harry looked at them expectantly. 

‘Annnnd?’

‘We’ll show you.’ Sirius said and he got up, walking over to the tidy row of iron coat hooks by the entrance of the room and rifling around in his jacket pocket, pulling out his wallet. He opened up the cracked leather and took out a small, white square. 

‘You keep it in your wallet?’ Remus asked, voice cracking; he sniffed once, bottom lip wobbling.

‘Uh, yeah, obviously .’ Sirius said. ‘I have to show everyone!’

‘Show everyone what? ’ Harry was beginning to look impatient. His eyes flickering between Sirius and Remus. ‘What’s that?’

Sirius puffed out his chest proudly and held out the white square for Harry to take. 

‘Oh look at him,’ Remus was looking at Sirius adoringly. ‘Ready to be a Daddy.’

Sirius handed the photo to Harry, who took it and paled instantly. ‘Oh my God.’ He looked absolutely terrified. ‘What- How- Oh fuck.’

‘Harry?’ Sirius looked worried. ‘What’s wrong? We thought you’d be happy.’

Harry’s voice shook as he answered. ‘Why would I be happy?’ He blinked back tears, grasping the back of his head, fingers tangling in the still-wind-blown mop of black. ‘I’ve fucking ruined everything.’

Sirius looked torn between chastising Harry for his language and scooping him in his arms. ‘You haven’t ruined anything, Bambi. Why would you think that?’ Sirius began to cry too. ‘We’re not going to love you any less, I promise. We have enough love for big old you and the new little one.’

Harry burst into tears. ‘You’re not angry?’

‘ Why would I be angry?’ Sirius did pull him up now, wrapping him up tight and catching Remus’ eye. He looked devastated. 

‘Remus looked at the ceiling for a moment; it looked like he was counting to ten in his head. ‘You two are such dramatic fucks.’

‘Language!’ Both Sirius and Harry snapped and glared at them.

‘It’s our baby, Harry. Not yours.’

Harry's head, which had been buried in Sirius’ shoulder, popped up. ‘What?’

'Why would Sirius have a scan photo of your baby in his wallet? You would have had to have gone and had a scan!’ 

Harry looked like he was having a hard time having some sort of painful revelation. ‘What? But- but you said-’ his face was screwed up and and his face was contorted, giving him a double chin. Remus saw the moment the light shone. ‘Oh yeh!’ He sounded incredibly relieved. ‘Sorry, panicked. I heard a question mark at the end of ready to be a daddy .’

‘You literally couldn’t be more like James right now,’ Remus told him, prising Sirius’ hands from Harry’s arm.

‘Hey! That’s mean, you always tell me that my dad was- OH MY GOD!’ Harry shouted, making Remus jump. ‘You’re having a baby?’

‘ Yes!’  

‘Argh!’ Harry did a little spin on the spot, knocking Sirius sideways. ‘I’m going to be a big brother! Oh my God! ’ He sat down on the sofa far too close to Remus, the words just pouring from his mouth in excitement. ‘When’s it coming? How are you feeling? Do you feel terrible? Shall I make you a cup of tea? Oh, oh, is it a boy or a girl? Actually don’t tell me! I want it to be a surprise. Can I name it? Can I come when you have it?’

‘Woah, calm down Hazzie.’ Remus took his hand and rubbed a soothing thumb over Harry’s knuckles. ‘June, I feel just fine - a little tired and nauseous but that’s it, i’m good for tea, we don’t know yet and we won’t tell you if you don’t want to know, you can be part of the decision, yes, and yes, if you would like to.’

‘Wow.’ Harry breathed, looking awed. ‘I can’t actually remember any of the things I just asked you but that sounds awesome .’ And he launched himself forward onto Remus. ‘I’m so happy for you!’

They hugged for a long moment, neither trying to hide the tears. Sirius was conspicuously quiet. 

‘Padfoot?’ Harry asked as he pulled away, looking up at his Godfather who was looking back at him, with narrowed eyes. 

‘Love?’ Remus asked but Sirius’ gaze didn’t falter and Harry seemed to shrink back.

‘And why would you think you were having a baby, hmmm? For you to be having a baby you would have to be having sex and we know you’re not having sex. Don’t we, Harry Potter.’

‘Erm,’ Harry reached out, patting the sofa for Remus’ arm and clutching it. ‘Remus help me.’

‘No can do, Prongslet.’

‘I’m waiting for what I am sure is going to be a very reasonable explanation that isn’t going to involve me taking my wand and paying Draco a little visit in a dark corner of the castle.’

Harry squeaked and Remus took pity on him.

‘Come on Sirius.’ He got up and propped his chin up on Sirius’ shoulder. ‘What were we doing at sixteen, hmm?’

‘We were studying for our OWLS.’ Sirius lied. Remus huffed in disbelief.

‘We were absolutely not.’

‘You told me you almost got caught on your knees in a broom cupboard.’ Harry accused, although his voice was weak. 

‘Oh so that’s where you got that idea from,’ Remus sounded like he’d worked something out. 

Sirius looked outraged, speaking through gritted teeth. ‘What do you mean that’s where you got the idea from ?’

Remus looked at Harry. ‘Run.’

Harry didn’t think twice and legged it out the room.

Week 17

‘Tell me why I'm nervous.’ Remus clutched at Sirius’ hand as they stood outside the stone Gargoyle that led up to the Headmistress’ office. He had a ball of something in his stomach, spinning like a top; it was making him feel queasy despite the morning sickness having more or less passed. 

Sirius brought their joined hands up and kissed Remus’ knuckles. ‘Pavlovian, darling. The Gargoyle equals detention, always.’

‘You’d think almost twenty years later that response would have faded.’ Remus mused. ‘But you’re right. I do feel like I'm about to be told off. I’m scared, Pads. What happens if she’s mad at us?’

‘Baby,’ Sirius cupped his face, pressing sweet kisses from brow to jaw. ‘She’s not going to be mad. She’s going to be delighted. We’re about to make her a Granny.’

‘I will give you ten galleons to actually say that to her.’

Sirius grinned, one last kiss placed delicately upon the tip of Remus’ nose and another to the small bump blossoming under Remus’ robes. ‘Bet.’ And he tapped the Gargoyle, watching as the staircase slowly revealed itself to them.

They slowly trooped up the stairs, Remus lagging behind until Sirius nipped behind him and guided him up with a careful hand pressed into his lower back. They took pause at the large, oak door which was still closed and shared a look. 

‘You ready?’

Remus took a deep breath. ‘As I’ll ever be.’

‘She’s going to be over the moon, Re. You’ll see.’ Sirius knocked on the door twice.

‘Come in Sirius, Remus.’ A familiar voice called out, muffled behind the wood.

Sirius pushed open the door. ‘How did you know it was us?’ He demanded, sloping in and bringing Remus with him. ‘This is supposed to be a surprise visit.’

McGonagall gave them both a warm smile and moved in her always so efficient grace to the other side of the room; a set of warm, burgundy sofas and a walnut coffee table ready. She flicked her wand and a tea set, complete with slices of lemon drizzle cake materialised too. ‘After a while, Mr Black, one learns a sense of when to sniff out trouble. And you two, I'm afraid to inform you, are very pungent. Now come and sit down.’

‘I’m not sure whether to be offended or not.’ Sirius said, ushering Remus over to the sofa and helping him settle, fussing over whether his back was properly supported. 

‘Sirius,’ Remus said through gritted teeth and Sirius attempted to pull the coffee table nearer and prop Remus’ legs up. ‘I’m fine.’

McGonagall watched them shrewdly but didn’t comment. She took her own seat opposite and waved a hand to get the tea pouring, instructing the sugar pot to add two lumps to a cup which then floated towards Remus. 

‘Decaf.’ She said to no-one in particular and Sirius, who at the very moment Remus’ hand touched the cup had opened his mouth to ask just that, settled back in his seat looking relieved. ‘Cake, Sirius?’

‘Ooo yum! Yes please.’ Sirius took the slice of cake McGonagall offered him. He broke off a small piece and popped it into his mouth and then broke off another. He turned to Remus, ‘Open wide!’ He held out the cake.

‘Sirius, stop it!’ Remus batted his arm away looking disgruntled. ‘I can feed myself, I'm not paralysed, I'm preg-’ he stopped talking abruptly, eyes flickering nervously towards McGonagall who, to her credit, acted like she’d heard nothing at all. 

They sat together, sipping their tea and eating their cake for a short while. The afternoon sun was getting lower, streaming in through the paned window and throwing rainbows of light onto the walls. Remus was beginning to feel slightly less worried, he’d spent too many afternoons with Sirius and James in this very room for it to be too uncomfortable a place. He figured he’d just mustered up the courage to come clean about the real motive behind their visit when McGonagall spoke. 

‘As much as I am always pleased to see you both,’ she started, ‘I take it there is a reason for your visit? And if I might be so presumptuous I presume not a work call either?’

‘Sort of a work call,’ Remus blurted out. ‘I’m leaving.’

McGonagall looked at him sharply, confusion clouding her previously open features. She slowly put down her teacup. ‘Leaving, Remus?’

‘Yes. In June.’ Remus croaked out, the feeling of nausea back twofold. 

‘I am very saddened to hear this, Remus. You will be well missed. I myself will miss your company immensely. Is this something you have been considering for a while, if I may be so bold as to inquire, or has something new and exciting presented itself?’

Remus looked at her, very much a rabbit in headlights. ‘Erm.’

‘Bloody Merlin,’ Sirius muttered, sounding exasperated and he aimed his next words at McGonagall. ‘He’s not leaving. Well, he is, but only for a bit.’

‘Only for a bit?’

‘Yes. Minnie, we have some news.’ Sirius threw an arm around Remus, looking as pleased as punch. ‘We’re having a baby!’

‘I see.’ McGonagall rose stoically to her feet, looking down to address the two men. Her face was stern, brow creased and lips uncharacteristically thin. ‘Well, boys. I can’t say I'm surprised. A little disappointed that you weren’t more cautious, but what’s done is done-’ She paused, looking at their horrified faces; Sirius looked livid and poor Remus looked like he was about to cry. Her mouth twitched, a tiny movement and only once but Remus spotted it. 

‘Cow.’ he muttered under his breath, crossing his arms and pouting.

McGonagall broke. ‘I’m sorry, gentleman, I couldn’t help myself - I overheard your conversation as your climbed the stairs, the walls are magiked to absorb what’s being spoken and to amplify it into the office, too many students formulating their last minute alibi’s i’m afraid - and then Remus you just seemed so nervous. Boys, this is wonderful news! I cannot put into words how delighted I am for you both.’ She opened her arms and took a step forward and both men rose to accept her embrace.

They all sat back down and McGonagall surreptitiously dabbed her eyes with a scrap of white silk while Sirius placed a soft kiss on Remus’ forehead.

‘Are you feeling well, Remus?’ she asked, slipping the hankie up her sleeve. ‘I must admit I have had my suspicions for some time now, helped along considerably by Mr Black’s recent behaviour.’

Sirius looked completely unabashed. ‘Need to look after my Moony, Minnie. He’s carrying precious cargo.

‘Indeed,’ McGonagall agreed. ‘But I stand by what I originally stated at the time; there was no need to burst in and offer Mr Lupin a foot massage in the middle of our faculty meeting.’

Sirius gave her a toothy grin. ‘No harm, no fowl. But we digress - the most important question now is how are you feeling about your new moniker of Granny Minnie?!’ Next to him Remus snorted but there was no denying that McGonagall didn’t look displeased at his words. 

‘As touched as I am that you wish me to play a prominent part in your child’s life, might I remind you Mr Black that I am not your mother and as such-’

‘ Twelve years!’ Sirius wailed suddenly, cutting McGonagall off mid sentence. ‘Twelve years left to rot in Azkaban and now she tells me she wants nothing to do with my baby. My yet unborn child, before they’ve even taken their first breath, spurned by the one woman I have seen fit to call Mummy -’

‘Yes, thank you Sirius,’ McGonagall looked entirely unmoved. ‘It seems you have forgotten the daily letters and monthly visits I bestowed upon you while your poor, long-suffering partner worked tirelessly to clear your name.’

‘Oh yeh.’ Sirius beamed at her. ‘Was worth a try. Come on Minnie, what do you say? Little one needs a Granny on it’s Papa’s side.’

McGonagall pursed her lips and then her face split into a wide smile, so unlike her usual demeanour. ‘I would be honoured to be Granny Minnie.’

‘Yay!’ Sirius made to move in some sort of seated victory dance, full body wiggling and jostling Remus in the process. 

Remus just moved over to give him wider range and looked at him. ‘I can’t believe you just called Professor McGonagall Mummy.’

Week 24

The rolling Welsh hills seemed even greener and Remus closed his eyes, content. They had been driving for about three hours now, having only stopped once to grab coffee and a quick snack. 

Remus was uncomfortable; he kept shifting in his seat. Sirius had noticed, of course he had, and Remus had had to have a very strong word with him when Sirius threatened to turn the car around and take him to the nearest hospital. Remus wanted to see his mother. 

Hope would be one of the last to know, something that Remus felt especially guilty about. They hadn’t put off telling, but between Sirius’ work at the Ministry and Remus’ busy teaching timetable they just hadn’t had the chance to make the trip until now. They had discussed telling her over the phone but both men decided that they wanted to see Hope’s face when they told her the news. 

‘Remus?’ Remus felt a gentle hand caress his knee; he must’ve fallen asleep. He opened his eyes and yawned.

‘Did you fall asleep?’ Sirius reached over to take his hand lying in his lap; he gave it a squeeze. 

‘Think so,’ Remus looked around, recognising the surrounding countryside. ‘We’re nearly there.’

‘Yep,’ Sirius smiled, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. ‘Are you excited?’

‘Definitely.’ Remus shifted again, a little flutter in his stomach making its presence known. ‘I still feel guilty that she’s the last to know. But she would have killed us if we’d told her over the phone, right?’

Sirius huffed a laugh. ‘She absolutely would have. You couldn’t have paid me to be on the receiving end of that phone call.’ He glanced in the rear view mirror as they turned onto the pretty country lane that led to Hope Lupin’s cottage and Remus settled a little, a hand coming up to caress his ever growing bump as the car jostled over the uneven road. 

‘I always expect it to look different.’ He commented as he looked out the window. ‘But it looks the same.’

‘I always think it looks beautiful.’ Sirius said Remus couldn’t deny him that; the hedgerows were a riot of colour as the spring flowers made themselves known and on the gust of a breeze, the blossoms rained down on them like snow. 

They pulled into the drive.

‘Uh oh. Someone’s been waiting.’ Sirius nodded towards the house and Remus looked over to see his mother standing at the open front door waving, her face lit up with a smile. She looked a little older, but then again, he supposed, so did he. He unclipped his seatbelt as Sirius shut off the engine. 

‘Alright then.’ He took a fortifying breath. ‘You ready?’

‘Yep,’ Sirius gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘I can’t wait.’ And he opened his door.

Hope was already hurrying down the path towards the car, breaking into an almost jog as Sirius stepped out and opened his arms. Hope wrapped him up in a hug the moment she reached him and Remus watched, his heart melting as Sirius kissed both her cheek and Hope said something that must have been to do with Sirius’ hair if the way he laughed and then ran his fingers through it was any indication. 

Remus opened his own door and heaved himself out, the sound of it slamming making both Hope and Sirius look over. 

‘Hello Ma.’ He called over as he made his way round the car. Hope gave Sirius’ cheek one last pat and started towards him. 

‘My darling boy-’ She stopped, looking at him and then, ‘Oh Remus!’ She rushed towards him. ‘I can’t believe it!’ Remus was confused for a moment, but opened his arms for his mother but as she reached him, rather than stepping into a hug like he thought, instead she knelt in front of him, knees on the cold ground, and placed both hands on his stomach. 

‘Oh my baby,’ She said, tears streaming. ‘Well hello there little one!’

Remus looked down at her, shocked. ‘What- How?’

Hope looked up at him. ‘You are glowing, my lovely boy. Even silly old muggle me can feel her magic and oh, it’s beautiful!’

‘Her?’ Remus tipped his head to one side and reached down with both hands to pull his mother up. 

‘Yes I think so.’ Hope said as she cradled his face. ‘Are you happy?’

‘So very happy.’ Remus told her, his own eyes pricking with tears. ‘I’m sorry it’s taken so long to get here to tell you.’

‘No this was perfect.’ Hope told him, taking his hand and leading him back towards the house, scooping Sirius up on the way. She turned to him. ‘Clever, clever boy,’ she said. ‘Together you’ve made me the very happiest I think I could be. Come and tell me everything.’

It was warm and cosy inside the house and it smelt of the incense Hope was always burning. Remus took a deep breath, letting the familiar scent wash over him. It smelt like home. They made their way together into the kitchen where lunch was set out waiting for them. Hope smiled and as she watched Sirius fuss over Remus as he sat down at the table and then laughed as Sirius began to load up a plate for him.

‘There’s no point trying to stop him,’ Remus told her, exasperated. ‘He’ll do it anyway.’ 

Hope ruffled his hair. ‘He’s looking after you, cariad. Let him.’

‘Thank you, Hope.’ Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus. ‘He’s always fussing.’ He told Hope this as if it were a secret. ‘It’s almost as though he doesn’t want a husband who dotes on him.’

Both Hope and Remus froze at the word husband but Sirius didn’t give any indication that what he said was noteworthy, now breezily loading up his own plate with ham and salad. 

Hope looked at Remus who shrugged. ‘This is news to me.’

‘Sirius…?’ Hope said and she sounded hopeful.

‘Don’t start, Ma.’ Remus said warningly. ‘I don’t know what he’s talking about.’

‘Yes you do,’ Sirius said as he shovelled a buttered new potato into his mouth. ‘I remembered in the shower a couple of days ago that we’ve been married for almost twenty years now.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Remus was desperately trying to ignore his mother’s gleeful expression. ‘No we haven’t!’

‘Have to,’ Sirius said, ‘And I have to say, Moony, I’m feeling quite aggrieved that you don’t remember.’

‘I think I would remember my own wedding! Ma, please can you sit down!’

‘But-’ Hope started but Remus interrupted. 

‘He’s gone mad.’ He waved a hand in Sirius’ general direction. ‘We're best off ignoring him.’

‘Rude.’ Sirius waggled his fork at Remus. ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember.’ He closed his eyes with a nostalgic sigh. ‘It was a glorious summer’s day. The swallows were swooping, the breeze was breezing, the willow was willowing-’

‘Oh my God,’ Remus looked at him in disbelief and turned to Hope. ‘He’s talking about the time James fake married us in seventh year.’

‘Less of the fake, thank you very much.’ Sirius said haughty. ‘I think you’ll find that James had a certificate.’ 

‘I think you’ll find,’ Remus countered, ‘That James made that certificate and he used the back of my potions homework to do it!’

‘Eh.’ Sirius shrugged. ‘Still counts.’

Remus scooped up a forkful of watercress. ‘Right. Of course it does.’ 

‘It does sound like it counts,’ Hope chimed in. ‘If he had a certificate.’ 

Remus glared at her. ‘Don’t encourage him, Ma,’ he scolded.

‘It doesn’t sound like he needs any encouragement dear,’ Hope said and Sirius nodded in agreement. 

‘Thank you, Hope,’ He narrowed his eyes at Remus. ‘At least I have someone's support on this matter.’

‘You’re ridiculous,’ Remus told him. ‘If I remember correctly I have a vivid memory of you divorcing me not long after the marriage ceremony when I refused to let you borrow and copy the aforementioned potions homework.’

‘Yes, but did you actually ever sign anything to finalise the divorce?’

‘No of course I didn’t!’ Remus threw his hands up, scattering peas all over the table. ‘And I also never signed anything at the wedding either!’

‘Ah ha!’ Sirius crowed triumphantly. ‘So you do admit that we got married!’ 

Remus held his hands up.’ Nope. I don’t know what to do anymore. If this is your weird Sirius-esque way of asking me to marry you then I am very, very confused.’ 

Hope actually clapped her hands together, looking at Sirius who winked at her. ‘Oh Sirius! Is it?!’

Remus looked at them both. ‘You’ve both gone mad.’

‘Sad.’ Sirius said and Hope patted his back consolingly. 

‘Don’t worry dear, he’ll come round.’

‘Oh I know,’ Sirius told her. ‘He’s just holding out until he sees the ring.’ Hope squealed as Sirius pulled a black, velvet box out of his pocket, tapped it once and then squirrelled it back away. 

‘What- Padfoot- I-’ Remus began, staggered, but Hope waved him off. 

‘Eat your lunch, Remus John. That baby isn’t going to grow itself.’ She poured him another glass of elderflower cordial and then finally took her seat between him and Sirius. ‘Now, boys. Tell me, what do we think about a summer wedding?’

Week 30 

Five minutes. That was all the time it had taken for Remus to lose Sirius and Harry. It didn’t matter that they had both sworn to stay by his side, big pleading eyes looking imploringly at him, promising him that they’d behave but could they please go and pick out some things for the baby. Remus had agreed, of course he had, on the proviso that they would also look practical items, like a pram. 

He puffed out his cheeks and let out a breath, looking around once more. Still no sign. He leant against the rack of baby-gros he had been looking at and rubbed his belly, feeling a couple of answering kicks in return. He smiled; he had an idea. He pulled out his phone. 

To Padfoot

Baby is kicking

He hit send and waited. A few seconds later there was an excited yelp from somewhere across the shop and then Sirius was barrelling towards him, Harry close on his heels. They both ground to a halt in front of Remus. 

‘Let me feel! Let me feel!’ Sirius reached out, trying to slide his hands up Remus’ shirt. 

‘Hey! That’s not fair’ Harry was trying to barge him out the way. ‘You got to spend all morning having a feel. It’s my turn!’

They tussled for a moment until Harry managed to twist Sirius’ hand up behind his back. He grinned and stuck his tongue out at him. 

‘Loser.’ He cried, triumphant and he reached out to place a hand on Remus’ stomach. 

‘Baby’s stopped now.’ Remus told him and Harry made a slight noise of outrage. ‘And moving swiftly on,’ Remus continued before Sirius could wind Harry up further, ‘You both promised you’d stay with me.’ He went for the jugular. ‘What would’ve happened if I’d come over feeling poorly?’

Sirius and Harry both looked exceedingly guilty. ‘Sorry Moony,’ they both said earnestly.

‘That’s ok.’ Remus had to work hard to suppress a laugh at their matching puppy-dog faces; there was no mistaking that Harry had learnt from the master, Sirius’ eyes were so wide Remus wondered if it might hurt. ‘Come on, I want to go and see if we can pick this pram out.’

The prams were on the upper level of the department store and to no-one's surprise it was taking far longer to get up there as both Harry and Sirius lept stopping to point things out. Even Remus would admit that various bits and pieces had caught his eye on more than one occasion. 

‘Oh Godric, look .’ Harry gushed, holding up the tiniest pair of Quidditch leathers Remus had ever seen. ‘Please Moony!’

‘What would they even be used for?’ Remus said, taking them. They were exceedingly cute. ‘It’s not like they can actually play Quidditch.’

‘They could wear them when they come and watch my matches!’

‘They just seem impractical,’ but Remus was wavering as his brain supplied an image of him and Sirius standing in the stands cheering Harry on, a baby wearing miniature Quidditch leathers strapped to Sirius’ chest. 

‘Let’s get them,’ a voice breathed in Remus’ hear and he jumped. Sirius had come up behind him, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder. ‘Please baby?’

‘Yeh, alright.’ Remus dropped the outfit into the basket and both Sirius and Harry cheered, making Remus smile. Harry bounded off to the next aisle, leaving Sirius and Remus standing together. ‘But nothing else, okay?’ Remus said sternly as he looked into the basket. So far they’d picked out a pair of booties shaped like polar bears, a large stuffed dog, an all-in-one pumpkin costume and a woolly hat, complete with antlers sticking out the top. ‘We need to get actual baby stuff, like vests and socks and-’

‘Don’t worry about it, love,’ Sirius took his hand. ‘We will. We’ve got time.’

‘You’re being uncharacteristically reasonable about all of this today,’ Remus noted and it was as he said it that he spotted the scanner held in Sirius’ other hand. 

‘Sirius?’ He pulled the hand up. ‘What’s this?’

‘Erm,’ Sirius looked sheepish, ‘A scanner.’

‘Yes, I know that.’ Remus said. ‘But what is it for?’

Sirius was saved by Harry’s reappearance. ‘Padfoot!’ He was holding a large, navy blue blanket, silver embroidery mapping out the constellations. It looked expensive. ‘This is perfect.’ He held out the scan expectantly and Sirius quickly reached out the scanner and beep, the blanket was scanned. 

‘Yay!’ Harry disappeared, presumably to put the blanket back on the shelf giving Remus a chance to look up at Sirius with a raised brow. 

‘What?’ Sirius shrugged, obviously trying to go for nonchalant. ‘It’s a good idea. You scan it, you pay for it and then they deliver it to you!’

‘You said we were going to be sensible about what we bought!’

‘We are!’

‘How much was that blanket? Give-me-that-’ Remus tried to grab the scanner out of Sirius’ hand. He managed finally and looked down at the screen.

‘Sirius!’ Sirius was suddenly very interested in a nearby breast pump. ‘Sirius Black! That blanket is almost five hundred galleons! Oh my God, it’s made from unicorn hair?!’

‘It’s soft on the baby’s skin!’ Sirius argued.

‘You didn’t even feel it! You just scanned it!’ Remus continued to scroll. ‘This is already over four figures Sirius and we haven’t even got the big stuff! There are three, no, four different types of baby wrap on here!’

Sirius looked defiant. ‘Well we don’t know which one they’ll prefer.’

‘Merlin,’ Remus rubbed his belly. ‘Padfoot-’

‘Why are you so worried about this?’ Sirius took the scanner back and put it down on the shelf next to them. He cupped Remus’ face with large hands. ‘We have the money, we have the space. Let me do this. Please. There was a time when I never thought I'd get to.’

He tipped Remus’ face up and Remus felt his resolve crumble as he looked into silver eyes. ‘God dammit, Sirius Black,’ he said, pitching forward to rest his head on Sirius’ chest. ‘At least let’s try and be sensible about the pram.’ 

Sirius kissed the top of his head. ‘Promise.’

—-------

‘This costs more than our car did!’

‘It’s top of the range, Remus! It’s the very best out there!’

‘We don’t need the very best out there!’

‘I’m sorry, are you saying that our baby doesn’t deserve the best?’

‘ No, that isn’t what I'm saying at all!’

‘Well that’s what I'm hearing!’

Remus' patience was waning. ‘I’m just trying to point out that there are so many others that are hundreds of galleons cheaper that do exactly the same job!’

‘Well I like this one.’ Sirius turned his back and addressed the sales assistant who had been watching the altercation with a bored expression. ‘And you’re able to attach a car seat to the frame?’

‘Yes,’ the assistant perked up at the potential of yet another thing to add to her commission. ‘You just need the relevant adapters.’

‘And let me guess, those are extra?’ Remus deadpanned. 

The assistant ignored him, Sirius was already nodding. ‘That sounds great. And you were saying earlier that the covers are interchangeable?’

‘Yes, that’s right. It comes with the charcoal here as standard-’

‘The charcoal is great,’ Remus said quickly but Sirius had got in there first. 

‘Is there a lighter grey, maybe more of a silver?’

‘ Whhhhhyyy?’ Remus groaned. 

Sirius pretended he hadn’t heard. ‘Or a sage green?’

‘If you come over to the desk I can look on the database for you.’

They walked over to the desk, Sirius pushing the display pram. Remus was momentarily distracted from his general grump by how natural Sirius seemed to look pushing it. He was steering it one-handed, weaving through the other pieces on the shop floor. Sexy, Remus’ brain supplied, the traitor. 

‘You want a go?’ Sirius let go of the handle while the sales assistant began to type into the computer. ‘It handles nicely.’ 

Remus took the pram and pushed it back and forth. It was smooth. Bugger , he thought. I like it.

‘Now it looks as though there is a sage green in the single, but the only silver covers that are coming up are for our double model.’

‘Your double model?’ Sirius' ears partially perked up. ‘I don’t think I saw that.’ 

‘No,’ the assistant gestured over to the left of the shop. ‘It’s in the area for those looking for a double stroller.’

‘Interesting.’ Sirius pondered for a moment. ‘Would we be able to take a look at it?’

‘What? Why?’ Remus said. ‘We don’t need a double.’ He poked his stomach. ‘There’s only one in here!’

‘I know that, Re.’ Sirius placed a hand on the bump and gave it a rub. ‘But we don’t know when the next one might come along. We might as well be prepared.’

‘The next one,’ Remus spluttered. ‘Give me a chance to get this one out of me first before you start talking about sticking another one in there!’

Sirius just laughed. ‘You’re so funny, baby.’

He turned his attention back to the sales assistant. ‘So could we take a look, please?’

Week 37 

‘Yes,’ Remus breathed, rolling his hips grinding down as Sirius slid a strong thigh in between his legs. ‘More.’

‘That feel good, baby?’ Sirius gripped Remus’ hips, simultaneously pushing him back against the door and dragging him forward so Remus could ride his thigh. 

‘Ah-! So good,’ Remus stuttered, pushing down harder to get more of that delicious friction. He’d been horny for days , but too uncomfortable to do anything about it until the feeling had bubbled over and he had to get Sirius’ cock in him now.  

Sirius sucked on his neck but made no further move. Remus knew how this was going to go. With a monumental effort on his part he pushed Sirius away, immediately mourning the loss of the pressure between his legs. 

‘Please, Pads.’ He almost whined. ‘I want to have sex. Actual sex.’ He added quickly as Sirius opened his mouth to speak. ‘As in your cock in me sex.’

‘Um,’ Sirius' eyes flitted over him. ‘Yeh, yes okay. Course.’ He grabbed Remus by the hand and dragged him over to their bed. He sat down, yanking his shirt over his head. ‘Come sit.’ He patted his lap and Remus snorted, coming forward to situate himself in Sirius’ lap, straddling him.

His bump was huge now and Sirius couldn’t get enough of it. He was always touching and stroking and bending down to kiss it. Now he ran his hands up Remus’ loose shirt and caressed it reverently over it over and over.

‘You’re so fucking sexy,’ he growled and Remus hummed happily, leaning forward for a kiss.

‘Ow!’ He pulled back with a wince.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ Sirius’ hand were immediately back on the bump. 

‘Nothing,’ Remus said, grasping Sirius’ hands and guiding them lower. ‘Just baby moving.’

‘But it hurts?’

‘Sort of. I’m fine, Padfoot.’ Remus reqached to pop the button on Sirius’ jeans and then slipped his own shirt off. ‘You gonna let me ride you?’

‘Fuck yes.’ Sirius’ eyes were blown wide. There was a moment of awkward manoeuvring, Remus really was very big now, but finally they were both naked and Remus was perched atop Sirius who was lying propped up against the pillows. 

‘You need me to…?’ Sirius ran his hands down Remus’ back until he could grab his arse, helping him rock against his cock. 

Remus groaned. ‘No, i’m good. I’m so wet already.’

‘Ngh!’ SIrius threw his head back. ‘God I love you.’

‘Love you -uh- too,’ Remus lifted himself up ready to sink down, feeling Sirius brush against him. Ow!’

Sirius sat up so fast Remus almost fell sideways. ‘You okay?’

‘I’m fine Sirius!’ Remus attempted to push him back down.

‘But thats the second time you’ve-’

‘I’m fine !’ Remus told him, repositioning himself. ‘Please, baby. I need this. I need you.’ Got ya, Remus thought, as Sirius hesitated a moment longer and then went pliant under him. He lined up Sirius cock, so nearly about to get what he wanted-

‘Stop!’ Sirius actually rolled out from under him. 

‘Noooo.’ Remus said, desperately, flopping onto his side and pawing at Sirius to come back. 

‘It’s just-’ Sirius was twisting his hands together. ‘I’m worried about the baby.’

‘The baby is fine.’ Remus said.  ‘The baby is having a lovely time, eating, peeing and kicking to it’s hearts content. It’s your very horny, very irritable, very horomal fiance you should be worried about! .I swear to Merlin Sirius Black if you don’t get back here and get you cock in me then I will lie here and finish myself off in front of you.’

‘That isn’t the threat you think it is,’ Sirius pointed out, eyes darkening but then he shook his head slightly. ‘I just don’t think its a very good idea Re.’

‘What? No! It’s a very good idea. It’s the best idea since ideas began!’ Remus tried to arrange himself on the bed to look alluring but he lost his balance of tipped forwards. ‘Bloody bump,’ he muttered. Although he was no less turned on. 

‘Pomfrey said that the baby was head down when we saw her on Wednesday. What if- what if-’  Sirius looked down at his cock which was making a valiant attempt to stay interested despite his reservations. ‘What if I hurt the baby?’

Remus burst out laughing. ‘That is literally impossible Padfoot.’

‘Hey!’ Sirius actually looked a little offended. ‘You’re always telling me how big it is!’

Remus schooled his expression and dropped his voice. ‘You’re right. Actually, why don’t you come and remind me just how big it is.’

‘I’ll tell you what,’ and Remus knew he wasn’t going to like whatever Sirius was about to say. ‘Let’s just pop and see Pomfrey, you know, just to double check.’

‘What? No! Remus attempted to pull his knees up. ‘What are we supposed to say? Oh hi Poppy, we’re just about to fuck but we want to check Sirius Black’s massive inbred cock isn’t going to jab the baby in the head?’

‘Yeh, pretty much.’ Sirius said.

‘And you’re really going to refuse me until we’ve checked?’ Sirius shrugged but looked determined. 

‘Sorry, but I’d rather be safe that sorry.’

And that is how Remus found himself waddling through the halls of Hogwarts, half dressed in a dressing gown that didn’t quite do up anymore and his maternity leggings. Sirius seemed non plussed. Rabbiting away about this and that. He held the door to the infirmary open and Remus scowled at him as he passed through. Sirius patted his bum in response. 

The infirmary was quiet, there didn’t seem to be any students occupying any of the beds and they found Pomfrey sat in her office, reading a book. Sirius knocked on the open door. 

She jumped up when she saw who it was. ‘Remus?’ She pushed past Sirius ‘‘Is everything ok?’

‘Why do people keep asking me that?’ Remus grumbled, as she waved her wand and caste a couple of diagnostic spells. ‘I’m fine.’

‘You should be resting,’ Poppy told him, ushering into the room and knocking Sirius out the way. ‘Sit.’ Remus sat. 

‘Hello Poppy,’ Sirius said loudly. ‘It’s very nice to see you.’

‘Yes, yes Mr Black,’ she waved a hand over her shoulder. ‘Now, Mr Lupin, what can I do for you? Do you need a potion? A muscle relaxant. Have you been having pains?’

‘Only the pains in my arse,’ Remus muttered, aiming the comment at Sirius. ‘It’s not me who’s come to see you, it’s him.’

‘ Oh,’ Madame Pomfrey spun to look at Sirius.

‘ Now she pays me some attention,' he said, grumpily. 

‘Oh calm yourself Mr. Black. It’s not good for the baby.’

‘But he’s not even carrying- You know what, i give up!’ Remus slouched down in his chair. ‘I’m hungry.’

‘Here!’ Both Sirius and Pomfrey produced a packet of biscuits out of thin air and then proceeded to have a bit of a face-off in order to be the first to give them to Remus. 

‘I’m his fiance!’  Sirius said, trying to whack the biscuits out of Poppy’s hands, 

‘And I’m his caregiver!’ Pomfrey argued back. 

‘Just give me the fucking biscuits!’ Remus snapped, holding out his hand. Two packets were dutifully held out. ‘Thank you.’ He looked at Siirus, ‘Now ask your stupid question so we can go back to our bed.’

‘You have a question, Sirius?’ Pomfrey now seemed interested. ‘About the baby?’

‘Yes,’ Sirius nodded. ‘We were just wondering-’

‘ You were just wondering,’ Remus interrupted him. ‘Don’t bring me into this nonsense.’

‘Ok, yes. I was wondering, at this stage in the pregnancy, is it safe for us to be, erm, participating in, er-’

‘You’re wondering whether you can still have sex, Mr Black?’

‘Yes.’

Madame Pomfrey huffed. ‘I thought we had covered this in earlier sessions. It is perfectly safe to engage in intercourse, even in the latter stages of pregnancy, as long as Remus is comfortable and feeling well.’ She turned to Remus. ‘Are you comfortable and feeling well?’

‘Yes.’ Remus told her, stuffing another biscuit into his face. ‘But try telling him that.’

‘I am sure he is just looking out for your well being, dear.’ Pomfrey told him and then returned her gaze to Sirius. ‘I hope that has reassured you, Sirius?’

‘Yes. Well, no. I just have one more thing.’

‘Spit it out then.’

‘It’s just that during our last appointment you told us that the baby was head down and I just have some concerns that while engaging in - erm - intercourse , that it might, I might-’

‘He’s worried his massive dick is going to spear the baby’s brain.’ Remus said and Sirius glared at him but then looked back at Pomfrey. 

She didn’t say anything, just looked back at him. Her mouth twitched once and then she was laughing. Peels of laughter that bounced off the walls and echoed through the empty infirmary. 

‘It’s not that funny,’ Sirius muttered, cheeks pinking and Pomfrey doubled over, clutching her stomach. ‘I was just checking.’

Pomfrey patted his cheek clumsily, tears streaming down her face. ‘Oh I can’t wait to tell Minnie this. Even after all that’s happened, Mr Black, it’s good to see one’s ego has not diminished.’  She dropped her gaze to his crotch and waggled her eyebrows. ‘Even those blessed with such a huge endowment have no need to concern themselves. Any sexual activity that doesn’t harm yourself or Remus, won’t harm the baby as they’re protected in the womb the the amniotic fluid. They may feel the movement, and indeed Remus may feel increased movements after orgasm, but they won’t be harmed.’ She took a deep breath, trying to get control of herself. ‘I trust that answers any concerns you might have?’

‘Yes, thank you.’ SIrius pulled himself up to his full height, trying to look aloof. ‘We shall leave you to your evening.’

‘You’re a good boy,’ Pomfrey told him as she stepped aside to let them leave. ’This little one is lucky to call you Daddy.’ Sirius' expression softened. 

‘Thank you, Poppy.’

‘Be off with you then,’ Pomfrey waved them out.  ‘I think I can deduce that you two have plans for a, shall we say, romantic evening?’

‘Nah,’ Remus hauled himself up off the chair. ‘The moment’s passed now.’

‘What?’ Sirius looked dismayed. ‘No! We can get the moment back!’

‘No point, I’m good now.’ Remus told him as they left the infirmary. ‘What do you think I was doing in the loo before we came up here?’

Week 41 

Remus woke suddenly, disorientated at first. He’d been having one of his increasingly bizarre pregnancy dreams; this time he’d been going down a waterslide, naked, when there had been an unexpected ‘pop’ and he was in a big pearly bubble, floating away into the ether. 

He lay there for a moment, uncomfortable as the pressure from his bump made his back twinge, and then he realised what felt different. He reached down to feel the wetness spreading onto the sheet below, a slow leak that seemed beyond his control.

‘Oh fuck!’ That would explain the popping sensation in his dream then. He sat up -  as quickly as  was able at 41 weeks pregnant. ‘Sirius! Sirius!’ He reached over to shake him awake. 

‘What s’matter?’ Sirius rolled over to face him, bleary eyed as he waved a hand to turn on the bedside lamps. 

‘I think my waters have broken.’ Remus said, carefully shuffling to the edge of the bed and standing up slowly. He expected something else to happen; maybe another gush of water, a pain of some sorts. But there was nothing. He made a confused noise in the back of his throat, rubbing at a tight spot on his bump and then he realised that Sirius hadn’t said anything either. He craned his neck to look at him - he was fast asleep, mouth open and snoring.

‘Argh!’ Remus cried, deliberately loud and pained and Sirius sat bolt upright, eyes wide and terrified. He took one look at Remus and threw himself bodily out of bed, already fully dressed (despite Remus’ protests he’d been going to be in full dress for the past month and a half.)

‘Right!’ He began to pace. ‘The plan! Oh my God, I've forgotten the plan. Remus! What’s the plan?!’ and he looked at Remus with wide, slightly deranged eyes. 

Remus felt slightly guilty. ‘Stop panicking,’ he tried to keep his voice low and soothing. ‘I think my waters have broken but I’m not having contractions and I feel fine so I think what we need to do is just sit and wait and see what happens.’

‘Erm, I think absolutely fucking not!’ Sirius hurried to Remus’ side of the and began pawing at him; feeling his forehead, checking his pulse, kissing his belly. ‘We need to go to Mungo’s. Now.’

‘If we go now I can guarantee that they’ll just send us home.’

Sirius ignored him, pulling a jumper over Remus’ head and then another. 

‘What- I only need one jumper on Sirius.’

‘You might get cold on the way to the hospital,’ Sirius told him, now helping Remus into his favourite pair of maternity leggings. ‘Do you feel okay? Do you need anything?’

‘I need you to calm the fuck down and listen to me when I say I want to go downstairs, sit on the sofa and have a cup of tea. Can you do that?’

Sirius clearly hadn’t heard a word Remus had said. ‘Yes, yes.’ He was currently helping Remus into a pair of socks. ‘We can do that as soon as the baby’s come. Right,’ he got up and took Remus’ hand, hauling him back off the bed. ‘Let’s go.’ He started pulling him (gently) out of the room and Remus figured he might as well accept his fate for now and let himself be guided down the stairs. 

They reached the drawing room with much fuss, just the continuous stream of nonsense coming out Sirius’ mouth as he talked to himself. He also seemed to have been overcome by some sort of hopping jinx, bobbing from side to side and making Remus feel dizzy.

‘Okay, okay,’ he was now muttering. ‘Got the hospital bag, got the notes, got the baby blanket, got the- oh no! The snacks! I haven’t got the snacks!’ and he rushed out of the room. 

Leaving Remus stood there, alone. ‘Excellent,’ he sat down gingerly on the sofa, feeling a twinge in the lower back that seemed out of the ordinary. ‘I’ll just wait here then shall I?’ Although he was only waiting another few seconds when Sirius returned, barrelling into the room, ladened with bags.

‘Did you want your big pillow or shall I go and get your pillow from upstairs? I’ll go and get the upstairs pillow, it’ll help you relax more when you’re in the hospital.’

‘I don’t think anything is going to help me relax more while I'm in the hospital, Padfoot. I’m about to push a baby out of me.’

‘What?! Right, right, yes of course.’ Sirius dropped his many bags. ‘Oh my God. A baby. Oh my God you’re about to have a baby. My baby. The baby I put in you, oh fuck, what was I thinking?!’ He ran his hands through his hair and tugged. ‘I can’t have a baby , Remus! I don’t even know what sort of pillows they like!’

‘Sirius, you’re spiralling.’ Remus reached out a hand towards him. ‘Just come and sit down for a moment. We can have a cuddle.’

‘A cuddle? ’ Sirius looked aghast. ‘There’s no time for cuddles , Remus!’ He actually turned full circle, losing his balance and stumbling. ‘Fuck! Harry!’ He pulled out his wand and closed his eyes. A burst of silver erupted from the end of his wand and an enormous dog burst into existence. ‘Tell Harry it's time!’ Sirius told the dog, which gave a solitary bark and whooshed out the room.

‘Okay, it’s go time!’ Sirius said, and he began to collect up the bags, tongue between his teeth and he tried to balance the final one on his little finger. He took one last look at Remus and nodded briskly at him - Remus gave him a little wave - and he rushed forwards into the fireplace. He dropped the bags as he bent down to grab a handful of floo powder from the large terracotta pot on the hearth. ‘St Mungo’s parental ward!’ he roared and Remus watched as he whizzed out of sight. 

Remus let out an exasperated breath, giving his belly a little pat. The room was blissfully quiet now Sirius had gone, and the residual flames the floo powder had left behind were enough for the old embers to set light, casting the room in a calming, orange glow. Remus withdrew his own wand and conjured himself a cup of tea. He reckoned he had five minutes. 

And indeed, five minutes later the fire burst back into life and Sirius appeared, looking sheepish.

‘Hi.’ He stepped out and brushed the soot from his clothes. ‘Erm, they told me to come back and bring the person who’s actually having the baby.’

‘I thought they might.’ Remus finished his tea. ‘Did you tell them I'm not actually in active labour yet?’

‘I did not. I just told them that you were having a baby. And now they’re all waiting for you.’

‘ All?!’  

‘Just one or two. Or five. Don’t be cross!’ Sirius rushed on as Remus opened his mouth, absolutely to yell at him for being ridiculous. ‘What happens if the first four midwives are rubbish?!’

‘For God’s sake, Sirius.’ Remus tried and failed to get up, huffing and he toppled back on to the sofa. ‘Is there any way you’re going to let me just sit here until I feel I need to go in?’

‘There is not.’

‘Right. Looks like I'm going then, doesn’t it.’

—-------

‘I told you,’ Remus said, an hour later as they walked through the front door. ‘I knew they’d just send me home. I’m not even having contractions yet.’ Behind him, Sirius slammed the front door shut, looking mutinous. 

‘Completely unacceptable!’ He threw Remus’ hospital bag down by the umbrella stand. ‘They didn’t even check to see how dilated you are! How do you know the baby isn’t coming within the next couple of hours if they don’t even know how dilated you are?!’

Remus rubbed his shoulders soothingly. ‘I know,’ he cooed. ‘You must be feeling very frustrated.’

‘I am!’ Sirius took a deep breath as Remus continued his ministrations and he seemed to relax a little. ‘I just want to know everything is alright!’

Remus slid his hands down Sirius’ back, round his waist and then turned him round to face him. ‘It’ll be fine.’

‘But can you promise? If only there was some way that I could check…’ he trailed off, and Remus’ stomach dropped. He knew the look on Sirius’ face all too well. That look never ended well, especially for Remus. 

‘No, Sirius.’

‘I could though,’ Sirius took a step towards and Remus took a step back.

‘Come anywhere near me with those grubby fingers and I'll bite them off.’

As anticipated, his words did nothing to deter Sirius. ‘You won’t feel a thing,’ he began unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling his sleeves up in a move Remus found to be vaguely threatening. ‘Just think how much more informed we’ll be if I have a quick look. And you know what all those baby books said about being informed. Come on, let’s go into the drawing room and you can lie on the sofa.’

‘No!’ 

‘Why not?!’ Sirius almost whined. ‘I know what I'm doing. I read that whole pamphlet they gave you at the birthing plan appointment. I know all about the different stages of dilation and how you can compare them to different fruits! In actual fact I think Harry has already had a practice with a grapefruit.’ And before Remus could get a word in edgeways he was stomping towards the bottom of the stairs. ‘Harry!’

There was an answering crash (that definitely came from the nursery) and then Harry appeared at the top of the staircase.

‘What? Why’re you back?’ He started hurrying down the stairs. His hair was streaked in paint and he had a split lip. He was also holding a muggle hammer. Remus’ stomach dropped even further, and not from labour pains.  ‘Is there something wrong? Why aren’t you in the hospital? Remus! You should be lying down! Would a cup of tea help? Let me make you a cup of tea.’

‘No time for that, Harry!’ Sirius met him at the bottom of the stars and clutched at his arms. ‘need you in the drawing room, and bring the grapefruit!’

—-------

‘Oww! That was a bad one.’ Remus breathed heavily through his nose, wincing as the pain shot up his spine, leaving what felt like white hot burns in its wake. 

Sirius looked worried, bent over Remus. ‘Time, Harry?’

‘Time between, five minutes, thirty-eight seconds. Length of contraction, sixty-four seconds.’ Harry clicked the stopwatch to restart it. ‘I think it’s time to go back.’

‘You might be right,’ Remus reluctantly agreed. ‘They do seem to speeding up and fuck me do they hurt.’

‘Right then.’ Sirius jumped up, the wet flannel he has been annoyingly dabbing Remus’ forehead with for the past hour and a half falling to the floor with a wet thwap . ‘Are you still alright to floo, baby?’

‘Yes, I think so.’ Remus made to get up and then stopped as another lick of tight, hot flame engulfed his lower body. He closed his eyes, trying to find Sirius’ hand.

Sirius caught his hand up and squeezed. ‘Breathe, sweetheart. Well done. You’re doing so well. That’s it, nearly over.; He looked at Harry who was focussed intently on the stopwatch and thirty seconds later it was over. 

Remus slumped back onto the cushions, exhausted. ‘Can’t I just have the baby here?’ He looked at Sirius imploringly. ‘I promise not to make a mess.’

‘Of course!’ Sirius leapt up. ‘Harry, get the towels! And the big sponge from the cupboard under the stairs!’

On second thought,’ Remus remarkably managed to get himself upright in seconds, ‘I think we should go to Mungo’s after all. Can you help me walk please?’

Both Sirius and Harry lurched forward, taking an arm each. They walked together towards the fireplace which, as they approached, Harry shot an enlarging spell at so the three men could comfortably stand side-by-side.

‘Okay?’ Sirius asked Remus, voice laced with concern. 

Remus nodded. ‘I think we’re good. I think we’ve got about two or three minutes before the next one.’

‘Let’s go then.’ Sirius reached up his closed fist and opened it up, the green glittery powder raining down on them as the flames roared. ‘St Mungo’s parental ward!’ he boomed, and the three of them vanished out of sight. 

—-------

‘Ahh, back again are we Mr. Black, Mr. Potter,’ a midwife greeted them as they stepped out the fireplace in the brightly lit parental ward of St. Mungo’s hospital. ‘And have you remembered to bring Mr. Lupin with you this time or does Mr Black have another quick question he must have answered immediately?’

‘I don’t, actually,’ Sirius started. ‘And Remus is with us, I think it’s about time we-’

The midwife ignored him, not hesitating to shove him out the way so she could get to Remus who was leaning heavily on the fireplace behind them. ‘Mr. Lupin,’ she said appraisingly, looking at him, with particular focus on his face. ‘Yes, I think you better come with me.’

‘Thank God,’ Remus sounded relieved and still with enough spirit to shrug Sirius off as he tried to pick Remus up bridal style to carry him down the corridor. ‘All I want to do is lie down.’

'I know, Remus dear,’ the midwife said kindly, ‘But really being upright in some capacity, squatting, kneeling, even bent over will be far more beneficial.’

‘Bending over is how this fucking thing got into me in the first place.’ Remus mumbled, hissing as another contraction began to bubble. ‘Sirius!’ He grabbed Sirius hand, yanking it hard. Sirius took a sharp intake of breath at the pain but to his credit didn’t make a sound. 

The midwife waited until the contraction had passed, watching fondly as both Sirius and Harry fussed over Remus, telling him what a good job he was doing and how proud they were of him. ‘We’ll do a quick examination and then we can get you into as comfortable a position as we can. From the way things are progressing I don't think it will be too long now.’

‘Yes, Sirius agreed as they continued the slow walk towards their room. ‘Harry and I estimated that current dilation is around the size of a-’

‘Say the word grapefruit again, Black, and I swear I’ll tell them I want you both banned from my hospital room.’

‘Bless you, dear.’ The midwife said, trying not to laugh. ‘And here we are.’

Remus looked around the room in amazement. It was nicer than their bedroom at Grimmauld and infinitely nicer than his quarters at Hogwarts. There were wide, shuttered windows, a large oak dresser, the biggest television Remus had ever seen, not to mention the clawfoot bathtub and the cleverly disguised double hospital bed. 

‘What the hell?’ He looked at the midwife. ‘I’m here to have a baby, not on holiday! I’m going to get gunk all over the carpet!’

‘This is the room your partner requested.’ She told him. ‘It isn’t usually used for births but when you have your name splashed over a wing of the hospital it’s usually pretty easy for a few choice people to pull some strings.’ She winked at Sirius, who winked back. 

‘For fucks sake,’ Remus started but his breath was taken as yet another contraction built steadily. He looked at Sirius, ‘Remind me to yell at you after this one is over.’

‘Of course, darling.’ Sirius dashed forward as Remus grunted in pain. ‘You can yell at me about anything you like.’

—-------

‘She’s perfect.’ Sirius said, his tear streaked face lit up, pure joy radiating from him. ‘She’s perfect. ’ 

‘She is, isn’t she.’ Remus was exhausted. Nine hours of labour, two and a half hours of pushing and a second degree tear will do that to do but he already knew that he would do it all again to watch Sirius cradle the tiny bundle in his arms. Their daughter, he reminded himself.

She’d arrived into the world bawling her little lungs out, masses of dark hair and dark eyes, which Sirius was already convinced would turn green and weighing in at a perfect seven pounds. The three men in the room had been instantly besotted. 

Sirius had wept, bent over Remus, words of wonder and thanks tumbling from his lips as Harry had, with shaking hard, cut the umbilical cord. A quick clean up and a solid 10 on the Apgar Score and she had been placed back on Remus’ chest, wide awake, the midwife slipping from the room to allow the new family of four time to get to know one another properly. 

‘I can’t believe yesterday she was in your tummy,’ Harry said in awe as he reached out, gasping as a tiny hand wrapped around his finger. 

‘I can’t believe I managed to push her out of me,’ Remus countered. ‘I’m pretty sure my insides have become my outsides.’

‘You were incredible, Re,’ Sirius kissed his forehead and brushed a lock of still sweaty hair to one side. ‘Absolutely unbelievable.’ He placed a gentle hand on the baby’s head, thumb brushing her plump cheek. ‘Look what we’ve made, my Moony.’

‘What should we call her?’ Harry was still wiggling his finger, watching besotted as she refused to let go. ‘She’s so tiny! She’s like a little teddy bear.’

Remus looked at him and smiled. ‘Haz, that’s it.’ He looked at Sirius too.

‘Bear?’ Sirius asked, although he sounded like in that moment he would let Remus call her whatever he wanted. 

Remus laughed. ‘No, Teddy.’

‘Teddy Lupin-Black,’ Harry said, as though testing the name out.

‘Teddy,’ Sirius repeated and you could hear the love as he spoke her name.

‘Oh Remus, it’s perfect. ’