Chapter Text
Katsuki walks into his house and stops at the genkan.
Something’s wrong.
He looks down the dark hall leading into their home and finds light spilling out of their dining room. Katsuki checks the time and his frown deepens. It’s late—why is Deku still awake?
He shrugs his coat off and steps out of his shoes, the polished wood creaking loudly under his feet as he makes his way toward the light. Upon getting closer, he starts to hear music playing, and Katsuki recognizes it instantly—it’s their wedding song.
He caught it just as it was ending, the last chords fading into silence. Katsuki was just about to push the door open, when he heard the familiar sound of a CD rewinding itself back to the beginning. Then, the first chords of the new song comes in, and Katsuki quickly realizes that this was the first playlist he had made for him from back when they were still dating, and when a romantic playlist was as good a Valentine’s day gift as any.
So why is his husband listening to a fifteen-year old playlist at two in the morning?
Katsuki ignores the unease prickling under his skin as he pushes the door to the dining room open.
“Deku?”
He finds him seated at their dining table, staring quietly at an empty plate.
Then he sees the half-melted candles, the vase of orange chrysanthemums, and a spread of Katsuki's favorite dishes on their finest china, laid over a gorgeous embroidered tablecloth.
He recalls buying that tablecloth from some little store in Kinosaki, where they had their honeymoon. The old lady who sold it to them had made it by hand, and it was one of a kind, with prayers for a successful marriage stitched into the hem.
It was so beautiful and delicate that they both agreed to only use it on special occasions.
Like birthdays.
Or anniversaries.
A pit dropped in Katsuki’s stomach.
Yesterday was their 10th anniversary.
And Katsuki had missed it.
Fuck.
His hand drifts toward his dead phone. Deku had been reminding him for days before. He’s been looking forward to it all week and with good reason—this was supposed to be their first date night in almost a year.
A year ago, Katsuki got a huge promotion at work, but while his pay tripled, his workload did too. He began to manage more international accounts, which meant his work hours also changed to match their overseas clientele.
Deku would be asleep by the time he got home, and he'd be gone to work by the time Katsuki woke up. The last time their days off matched was months ago, and back then, Katsuki had been too tired to do anything more special than watch a movie on their couch.
So when he had told Deku that he could get off work early for their anniversary date, the nerd had been so excited. Hell, he even sent Katsuki several texts earlier that afternoon, reminding him, and Katsuki had promised he’d be home on time.
But that was before he was pulled into the longest overtime of his career. Some executive messed-up big time on a major deal, and the company was scrambling to fix it before they lost millions of dollars. On top of that, Katsuki’s phone died and he couldn’t find anyone with the same charger he used. And so, amidst the chaos at work, he had forgotten about their anniversary dinner completely.
He looks at the wall clock. Deku’s been waiting for nearly seven hours.
Guilt twists inside his gut as Katsuki loosens his tie nervously, bracing himself for the impending fight.
“Nerd?”
Deku doesn’t respond. Katsuki moves closer, unnerved by the closed off expression on his husband’s face.
It looks wrong on him. Deku has always worn his heart on his sleeve, ever since they were in diapers. Always the first to cry, the first to smile. Though he may try to hide it, his large, overly-expressive eyes always gave him away.
So Katsuki expected to see tears, hear hiccuping sobs, or maybe even get a furious slap to the face.
Anything but this eerie silence.
“I’m sorry,” Katsuki says, kneeling by Deku’s side and placing his hand over his. “I’m so sorry for missing our date, baby. Today was hell at work and dinner completely slipped my mind. I know I should’ve called or texted but my phone died and I—”
“Have you eaten?”
Katsuki recoils, stunned by Deku’s even tone. He still won’t look at him.
“Uh, yeah, they ordered us pizza but—”
“Okay.”
Deku gently pulls his hand away.
Katsuki watches him calmly rise from seat and start gathering the dishes without another word. He doesn’t know what else to do so he helps out instead, taking the rest of the dishes that Deku couldn’t carry and following him back to the kitchen while still bewildered by his husband’s reaction.
Instead of placing the dishes on the sink or transferring their contents to plastic containers to be stored in the fridge, Izuku suddenly and unceremoniously dumped them all in the trash.
“Deku, what the hell?!”
“It’s alright,” Deku answers coolly as he takes the remaining dishes from Katsuki’s hands. “We won’t be using them again.
The sound of shattering porcelain echoes throughout their kitchen.
Before Katsuki can say a word, Deku’s making his way back to the dining room, gathering the rest of the stuff set on the table.
The candles and flowers were discarded.
Katsuki snaps out of his shock just in time to grab Deku’s wrist before he could throw out their special tablecloth too.
“Are you out of your fucking mind?”
Deku shrugs. “There’s no point in keeping those anymore.”
“Ha? The fuck do you mean by that?”
“It means, I give up.”
Katsuki stops.
“… what?”
“I give up, Kacchan,” Deka declares slowly, as he finally looks up to meet Katsuki’s furious gaze. His green eyes are dull and devoid of their usual warmth. “I give up.”
“What—” Katsuki swallows harshly, heart pounding in his chest. “What the hell are you saying?”
Deku sighs. His shoulders slump and whatever mask he’s been wearing finally slips off, revealing someone who looks so… tired.
“I’m saying I’m done with this. With us.” He wrenches his hand free of Katsuki’s grip, and Katsuki feels the world tilt out of its axis.
“I’m leaving you, Katsuki.”
The silence that followed was the longest silence of Katsuki’s life. As the seconds ticked by, Katsuki saw Deku’s expression shift, his eyes heavy with a sadness so deep Katsuki couldn't understand it. He couldn’t understand anything.
“Why?” He finally brings himself to ask.
Deku drops his gaze again, and he begins fiddling with his wedding band. Every twist that loosened it felt like a noose slowly tightening around Katsuki’s neck.
“I,” he starts, after another tense silence. “I can’t remember what it feels like. To be loved by you.”
Katsuki’s thoughts screech to a halt.
What?
“I missed one dinner,” he states in disbelief.
That makes Deku look up. “One dinner?” He echoes, his expression twisting into incredulous rage. “Kacchan, the last time we spent more than an hour together was the night we celebrated your promotion. Which was a year ago. In that time, you missed your birthday, my birthday, and all the holidays. You—” He stops and takes a shuddering breath.
“You weren’t there when we pulled mom off life-support.”
Ice fills Katsuki’s veins. He remembers that afternoon clearly, the multiple phone calls he kept ignoring while he was in the middle of a meeting, and the single text from Deku afterward, with two words: “She’s gone.”
“She would’ve wanted you to be there,” Deku adds, his voice growing small. “Like she was there for you after auntie and uncle died. But you couldn't even spare a minute to send her off.”
"I," Katsuki fights against the lump in his throat. "I-I told you there was an emergency at work."
“There’s always an emergency!” Deku snaps back, his eyes now filled with tears. “These past months, you—no.” He shakes his head ruefully. “In the last five years since you got that job, you’ve grown more distant. Before I knew it, I had become just another extra in your life.”
"No, Deku, you're not—"
"Kacchan," Deku cuts him off. "When was the last time you kissed me?"
Katsuki opens his mouth, ready to answer, only to find himself at a loss for words.
He... he can’t remember.
"I thought so," Deku says, laughing bitterly as he wipes off the tears that had spilled out. “You know, a month ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this box of our old stuff. Photo albums from college. Love notes we used to pass in class. Cassette tapes from your dad’s video recorder, the one we used to make those cheesy home videos of our dates.”
Deku looks over at a framed photo propped up on the refrigerator. It was old, maybe from nine years ago, shortly after their wedding.
Back when they had still been living paycheck-to-paycheck in a tiny apartment, before Katsuki got the high-paying job that bought them their two-story house now.
“I watched one of those old videos,” Deku whispers, yet the longing in his voice rings loud and clear. “And I hardly recognized myself.” He looks back at Katsuki. “I looked so happy back then.”
A terrible realization dawns on Katsuki—there are no recent photos of them anywhere.
“And since then, every time I had to go to bed all alone, I couldn’t help but wonder—will I...will I ever be that happy again?”
Deku’s despair is palpable now, like tar slowly filling the space around them, and Katsuki reaches for him, desperate to comfort the man he loves, but then Deku flinches back, hands rising between them like a shield.
As if to say that his touch is no longer welcome.
That Katsuki is no longer welcome.
"When you said you could make time for our anniversary dinner, I was over the moon. Finally! I'm the priority again!" He lets out the same broken laugh from before. "You once said I can be too optimistic at times. You were right. I dared to hope and got burned in the end."
"Deku, Izuku, please," Katsuki croaks, still reaching for him, but Deku keeps moving out of his reach.
"I love you, Kacchan," Deku continues brokenly. "If you measured the universe end to end, my love for you would still be bigger. But even then, I can't love enough for the both of us. I shouldn't have to."
A sense of impending doom suddenly grips Katsuki's heart. Like hearing the roar before an avalanche falls or smelling ozone before a storm, somehow, he can feel it coming—the tragic end to their decades-long story.
And he doesn’t know how to stop it.
"Tell me what I need to do to make this right," Katsuki pleads, ready to get on his knees and beg if he has to because not even his pride is worth losing the love of his life for good. “Whatever you want, I’ll do it! I’ll quit my job! I’ll stay at home! Let me fix this! I love you, Izuku! I love you! So please stay! Please!”
He keeps his hand outstretched, waiting, praying that Deku will take it.
The same way he’s done ever since they were kids. Katsuki just needs him to take his hand one more time.
But Deku simply looks down at it and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Kacchan. It’s too little, too late.”
He pulls the wedding ring off his finger and Katsuki’s heart drops to the floor.
"I can't lose myself anymore than I already have."
He steps forward and presses a kiss on Katsuki’s lips. And like the selfish man he is, Katsuki pulls him closer and deepens the kiss, taking whatever he can take.
For one hopeful second, it felt like Deku was kissing him back.
But then arms slipped between them again, and Katsuki felt himself being shoved away. His eyes fly open when something cold is pressed against his palm.
"I already packed my things in the car before you arrived. I only waited because I wanted to say good-bye."
Katsuki looks down and finds Deku’s wedding ring in his hand.
"Deku—"
"Good-bye, Katsuki."
————
Katsuki doesn’t go to work the next day—his first time calling in sick in five years.
Without Deku, the rules of time seemed to change. While the clock ticked on, steady in rhythm, somehow, each hour stretched out for miles, passing like a thousand camera frames showcased one by one.
All color had faded into muted grays and blues. People around him became indistinguishable pixels, like 2D characters on low-quality TV.
Nothing made sense with Deku gone.
Then the divorce papers came in the mail a week later.
Katsuki’s heart shattered upon seeing Deku’s signature and stamped seal on the crisp white paper over his name. He called off work again and drunk himself into a stupor. And whenever he wasn’t passed out on the couch—he couldn’t bring himself to sleep on their bed—he’d wander around their big, empty house, tormenting himself with every single thing that reminded him of the nerd.
He eventually discovered the clothes Deku had accidentally left behind in the hamper. In the throes of his despair, Katsuki took them and dumped them all on the bed, creating some kind of nest for himself. It’s ironic how desperately craved Deku’s presence now, when just a week ago he could go a whole day not thinking about his husband. Ex-husband.
At first, Katsuki had refused to sign the papers, still holding onto hope that Deku would change his mind and come back.
After all, they had known each other since they were in diapers. They’ve overcome worse than this. They were Deku and Kacchan—they were endgame.
He didn't want to give him up! He didn't want to lose Deku!
And yet the whole universe seemed to conspire against him.
Katsuki had tried to track him down, only to find out that Deku had quit his job and moved somewhere else.
Their friends were suddenly tight-lipped and hostile, refusing to tell him anything about Deku's whereabouts.
Even his requests for extended PTO were denied.
Then, around two weeks after Deku left, Katsuki received a notice from Deku’s lawyer, stating that they were going to press charges if Katsuki kept stonewalling their divorce.
And that’s when the reality of their break-up truly sunk in.
People say that time heals all wounds, but even after two months already passed, the pieces of Katsuki’s broken heart continued to fester. Though he tried to bury himself in work so he wouldn’t have to think about how his entire world had shattered, no matter how busy he got, the hollowness in his chest wouldn’t go away.
He couldn’t sleep. He could hardly eat. His work performance began to reflect his deteriorating mental state, and he started getting reprimands and warnings from his superiors.
Until one day, about three months after their divorce was finalized, Katsuki messed up at work one time too many. And received a final notice later that day—he was fired.
Katsuki stares at the paper, feeling numb all over.
That’s it? After all the years he had given this company, at the cost of his own marriage, they were throwing him away, just like that?
Katsuki rises from his seat and grabs his bag. He pauses, then reaches for the one personal item he has on his desk—a photo of Deku on their wedding day.
The nerd had looked so radiant back then. So fucking happy. He had believed everything Katsuki promised him, had trusted him when he took an oath to put his husband’s happiness and comfort above everything else.
When did Katsuki forget?
When did his promises turn into lies?
He feels so lost and alone, completely stripped of purpose. Katsuki drives out of the company’s parking lot with no clear destination in mind. Outside, a storm is raging. Rain pelts against his windshield in a torrential downpour. The world fades to gray.
As he makes his way back home to a house too big for one person, Katsuki sends a prayer out to the universe.
He asks to see Deku again. Just one more time to properly apologize for everything.
His phone suddenly rings. Katsuki’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest. It’s the All Might ringtone, the special one he assigned to Deku’s number years ago. Katsuki takes one hand off the wheel to dig the phone out of his bag. It’s stuck between some folders. He turns his head for a second to fish it out and…
…he doesn’t see the truck coming.
All Katsuki saw was a blur of colors as his car flew into the air. There was a moment of weightlessness, glass shards floating around him, his bag tossed and its contents spilling out.
Then came the drop.
It takes a moment before his vision clears and he realizes that he’s upside down. Blood drips to the ceiling from a wound on his head. His chest, his stomach… Everything hurts. He looks around him and catches sight of something green.
It’s Deku’s picture from his desk.
Katsuki barks out a bitter laugh, blood spraying from his mouth.
How cruel that the last thing he’d see before he dies is Deku’s smile, and it isn’t even the real thing.
But after making the love of his life endure a shitty marriage for years, this is all Katsuki deserves.
His vision begins to blur. He coughs out another spurt of blood. As cliche as it sounds, Katsuki’s whole life flashes before his eyes.
And unsurprisingly, every important moment and memory he has include that familiar shade of green.
Ah. Well.
Maybe in his next life, he’ll be a better husband.
“Hello? Are you okay?”
Katsuki’s eyes fly open.
A shadow blocks the light from the outside. A part of Katsuki wonders when it had stopped raining. Then, his car door suddenly disappears.
“Hey!”
Katsuki gasps.
Green.
“D-Deku?”
“Oh my god.”
Deku’s here. He’s actually here. Those wild green curls, freckled cheeks, and big, green eyes are unmistakable.
Except… he’s dressed weird.
He’s wearing some kind of dark green bodysuit, with long white gloves and a red utility belt. Did he come from a costume party or something? And, wait… is that green electricity sparking around him?
Oh.
Maybe this is some kind of death vision. Or it’s a shinigami, taking the nerd’s form to make Katsuki’s passing easier.
“How is this possible?” He hears Deku muttering under his breath. Katsuki can’t understand most of it, but he catches strange words like “quirk accident” and “doppelgänger”.
Fuck, this death vision really sounds like the nerd. He even got the muttering right.
“Deku.” Katsuki reaches for his hand and this time, Deku doesn’t stop him. Instead, the nerd gasps, panicked.
“Don’t move!” He shouts, staring at Katsuki’s stomach as if he was looking at their tax returns. “You’ve been impaled!”
“Huh?” Katsuki follows his gaze and discovers a piece of metal jutting out of his abdomen.
“That doesn’t look too bad,” he jokes weakly. His pain is actually fading now. Everything’s going cold and numb.
He looks back at Deku and sees his face pinch into that familiar look he gets when he encounters a difficult problem, like how much detergent to load, or which All Might merch he’s going to buy. Katsuki can’t stop himself from snorting fondly at it. God, he missed this nerd so fucking much.
He probably won’t make it, but it’s okay. He’s glad he got to see Deku one last time, even if it is most definitely a hallucination.
“I love you, Izuku,” Katsuki whispers, and Deku’s jaw drops in shock. His lips curl into a sad smile as he weakly squeezes his hand. “I’m so sorry for being such a shitty husband.”
“H-Husband?” Deku sputters, his shock shifting to confusion. “You’re not my—”
“Oi, nerd! What the hell is taking you so long?”
Deku jumps back to his feet. “Kacchan!”
Kacchan?
Another pair of boots join Deku’s.
Katsuki can’t see who it is, nor can he hear what Deku was saying to this other person who he also called… Kacchan?
“No way!” Is the one thing he catches before another shadow falls over him. Katsuki looks over and finds… his own face staring back.
Besides the strange mask, the neon-orange X on a black tank-top, and the cool-looking grenade-inspired gauntlets, this guy looks exactly like him.
Same spiky ash-blond hair and red eyes wide with disbelief.
“Holy shit” they both gasp right before Katsuki’s vision fades to black.