Work Text:
As far as interesting experiences go, Shen Qingqiu has to say: he's not a fan of being buried alive.
Especially when he can't move in order to rectify this situation.
Great Master Airplane, he fumes silently, if it was your fertilizers that did this, rest assured I'll be taking it out of your hide should we ever meet again.
They have vague plans about that, though really, it depends on when Mobei-Jun gets around to killing Shang Qinghua. Depending on how long Shen Qingqiu has been buried, that time particular foretold murder have already come and gone. If so, Shang Qinghua will be waking up in his own Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom body soon.
(Shen Qingqiu will never forgive Shang Qinghua if Shen Qingqiu died first but is the second to wake. He’s unspeakably grateful he didn’t have to relive his whole life like Shang Qinghua had when he had transmigrated, but once is enough. He can’t give Shang Qinghua anything to hang over him, because if he does, he may have to kill Shang Qinghua again himself.)
Two potential paths:
If Shang Qinghua is in his own plant body, then once he’s awake, they can meet. Maybe travel together for a little while, maybe go over the changes to the world in the time between Shen Qingqiu dying and Shang Qinghua dying, maybe simply wave each other goodbye and wish each other luck.
If Shang Qinghua is not in his plant body, Shen Qingqiu intends to steer clear of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect and Luo Binghe; no need to draw attention to the former from the latter, and he's seen quite enough of the latter recently, thanks! He'll send a letter or some kind of message to Shang Qinghua at some point, to let the man know the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom bodies work, but distance is key here.
All of this, of course, assumes he can escape his grave. Planting ground? Cabbage Mushroom patch?
At least he doesn't seem to need to breathe.
Fortunately, it only takes about a day before Shen Qingqiu is able to graduate from twitching his fingers spasmodically to actually being able to move them and scrape away enough of the dirt surrounding his hands to start digging his way out.
Shen Qingqiu breaches the surface. The sky is clear and blue; the air, as he excavates his torso, sits up, and allows himself to begin breathing, is fresh and crisp; the young man sitting patiently next to Shen Qingqiu's burial site is calm and collected.
Shen Qingqiu squawks at the sight of him. "You—what—?!”
The young man gazes placidly at him, as if it's an everyday occurrence for strange men to pop up out of the ground. "Greetings to Immortal Master Shen," he says.
Scratch that! Apparently this young man thinks it's normal for supposedly dead Peak Lords to pop up out of the ground!
Play dumb.
"Begging the young master's pardon," Shen Qingqiu says, and grimaces at how dry his throat is. He's amazed he can speak at all; did his plant body absorb enough water while it was growing to keep him hydrated even now? "This one is not sure the young master has the correct man..."
The young man keeps gazing at him. Shen Qingqiu isn't sure he's seen this guy blink. Actually, now that he's looking at those eyes—aren't they somewhat familiar...?
"This humble one is sure, Immortal Master Shen," the young man says. "This one could not mistake the man who saved him."
Shen Qingqiu really wishes they weren't having this conversation while he's naked and half-buried in the ground. He especially wishes he had a fan. Hopefully the dirt conceals whatever expression he might be making as he tries to place the man—
The eyes.
They are the same eyes as that of the creature sheltering in Bailu Forest, where Shen Qingqiu had found the Sun and Moon Dew Mushrooms, and where he had...stopped Gongyi Xiao from killing that same creature.
Well. Yes, Shen Qingqiu supposes that he had saved him, hadn't he?
...He's looking significantly more bipedal now than he was at that time. With a rather blatant demon mark on his forehead, one that Shen Qingqiu probably should have paid more attention to.
"Ah," Shen Qingqiu says. "Yes. At Bailu Mountain. If it would not offend this distinguished gentleman for me to ask...what is your name?"
"Zhuzhi-Lang," the man in question says courteously, bowing slightly over his cupped hands.
"Zhuzhi-Lang," Shen Qingqiu repeats. "This is rather far from Bailu Forest. What is Zhuzhi-Lang doing here?" It's near the Borderlands, Shen Qingqiu supposes, so he could have been traveling to or from the Demon Realm. It doesn’t take more than a moment’s contemplation for that idea to ring false.
It's not explanation enough. Zhuzhi-Lang was waiting for him.
"Immortal Master Shen saved this one's life," Zhuzhi-Lang says. "Humans have a saying: a drop of kindness should be repaid by a flood. Immortal Master Shen offered far more than a drop. I do not know how many more years I would have spent trying to reach the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom without Immortal Master Shen's assistance."
Well. No good deed goes unpunished, Shen Qingqiu supposes. Though really, Shen Qingqiu is terribly vulnerable right now, as was his plant body before he had finally woken up in it. If Zhuzhi-Lang truly had some nefarious purpose—unlikely, given how sincere every word out of his mouth has been so far—he would have attacked long before now.
Maybe this can be a good thing?
Disappointing that all of his plans have so immediately been disrupted, though. Hopefully this is only a short divergence—
Shen Qingqiu frowns.
"But...why are you here? I died. How did you even find this place, or know what to—?”
Look for, dies in his throat.
Zhuzhi-Lang was seeking the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom when Shen Qingqiu came across him. Shen Qingqiu rescued him from Gongyi Xiao’s blade, and shortly thereafter had shared his hoard of seeds.
Shen Qingqiu had been so assured that no one would know how he’d decided to cheat death and Luo Binghe's revenge. The Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom was a rare and obscure treasure, one few knew of and even fewer attempted to seek. Gongyi Xiao had clearly not known anything about the plant, nor had Shen Qingqiu offered an explanation. The only other people there were Shang Qinghua, already in Shen Qingqiu's confidence...and Zhuzhi-Lang, patiently trying all that time to retrieve even a single seed.
You fool, Shen Qingqiu castigates himself. How could you have never realized the danger?
He hadn’t considered it. No, he had dismissed Zhuzhi-Lang and gone on his merry way.
Shen Qingqiu runs his eyes over Zhuzhi-Lang. He looked significantly better than he had when they met in Bailu Forest—had he used the Sun and Moon Dew Mushrooms for himself?
"I heard about Immortal Master Shen's death," Zhuzhi-Lang says, big eyes mournful as he answers Shen Qingqiu’s question. He still hasn't blinked. "I was too late to get to Hua Yue City to save you. I had thought to make use of the Heavenly Mausoleum with my uncle's permission”—what the fuck? Shen Qingqiu thinks hysterically—“but I recalled that Immortal Master Shen had retrieved the Sun and Moon Dew Mushrooms, and hoped that he might have prepared a body for himself. I searched for a long time, desiring the opportunity to repay my debt to Immortal Master Shen."
His head tips slightly, a faint blush rising in his cheeks. "This one would have gladly helped Immortal Master Shen with anything he asked for; if he originally sought the seeds as a cure for his poisoning, then this Zhuzhi-Lang would have offered himself as that cure, so that Immortal Master Shen was able to remain in his original body."
Shen Qingqiu BSoDs.
He cannot have heard or understood that correctly. Zhuzhi-Lang would have fucking what?!
First of all, Shen Qingqiu once again wishes he wasn't naked and half-buried in dirt while having this conversation. This has been a repeating thought throughout this conversation, one that has become steadily more important to him. For what it's worth, the dirt is doing a decent job of preserving his modesty, but clothes! Would! Be! Nice!
Second of all, and more importantly, the only cure for Without-A-Cure is dual cultivation with a Heavenly Demon, and those are in rather short supply—
Shen Qingqiu's eyes are drawn back to the demon mark on Zhuzhi-Lang's forehead. He had been thrown off by his memories of the deformed creature in Bailu Forest, by the little scales scattered across Zhuzhi-Lang's skin, by the vivid green of the demon mark, but...
...doesn't it look like a sacred flame huadian?
"Zhuzhi-Lang is a Heavenly Demon?" Shen Qingqiu asks, holding onto calm with his fingertips.
"Half," Zhuzhi-Lang says. "If Immortal Master Shen is concerned, the cure would have still worked—“
"That's not my concern right now!" Shen Qingqiu says, blushing furiously. He knows that the cure would work with a half-demon! He read 6000+ chapters of dogshit to that effect! "This one was under the impression that Heavenly Demons were all but extinct."
The only two named in the book were Tianlang-Jun and Luo Binghe, after all. Tianlang-Jun had never even made it onto the page; he was mentioned off-handedly, a background character of no importance to Luo Binghe's life. He had been imprisoned beneath a mountain by the cultivation sects, never to be freed.
"Mn," Zhuzhi-Lang says. "My lord uncle was very surprised to find out about Luo Binghe. He had thought we were the only ones."
Oh, Shen Qingqiu has a terrible feeling about this.
Hey! Maybe Zhuzhi-Lang and his uncle are two totally random Heavenly Demons that had somehow escaped Airplane’s outline and made it into the story. Maybe they are completely unrelated to Luo Binghe, except via a common ancestry. Maybe Shen Qingqiu is actually still buried beneath the earth and he’s having a horrible, surrealist nightmare.
"Your uncle," Shen Qingqiu says leadingly.
"Tianlang-Jun."
Yep, that's about what Shen Qingqiu had thought.
Fuck.
The mountain Tianlang-Jun had been trapped beneath—it must be Bailu Mountain. Zhuzhi-Lang was in Bailu Forest because he was staying near his lord and master and uncle, Luo Binghe's father.
"My lord has been very excited to meet you," Zhuzhi-Lang says. "When we return to the Demon Realm, I'm sure he will have many questions, and he will answer any you have in turn."
"I beg your pardon?" Shen Qingqiu says, thrown for yet another loop in this incredibly confusing conversation. "When did I say I wanted to go to the Demon Realm?"
"This one could not safely move Immortal Master Shen's replacement body while it was still growing. It was too delicate. Now that Immortal Master Shen is awake, matters can proceed. We can leave soon," Zhuzhi-Lang says earnestly.
That's not an answer to the question I asked! Shen Qingqiu thinks.
He really, really could do with some clothes right now. Obviously, he won't have time to dig up the cache of materials that he and Shang Qinghua had buried here, so in all likelihood he's going to have to flee in the nude.
Assuming that his stupid, defective plant body will let him. When digging himself out, he hadn't only stopped while still partially buried because he had noticed Zhuzhi-Lang, but also because the strength of his replacement body had inopportunely abandoned him again.
Ugh. Shen Qingqiu had truly thought his days of running away from Heavenly Demons were going to be left behind him after Hua Yue City.
The System isn't up and functional, but if it was, he's sure it would be laughing at him.
"Thank you," Shen Qingqiu says, slow and cautious. "I understand this may be your way of repaying me, but it's unnecessary—”
One of his hands had been questing along the dirt still covering his legs, as he had tried to decide the right amount of spiritual energy to use to free himself from the earth without damaging himself. That hand bumps against something slimy, soft, and icy cold. Definitely not grass.
Shen Qingqiu chances a look downwards.
A jade-green snake stares up at him and placidly flicks its tongue out in his direction. Its companions, slithering out of the grass surrounding Shen Qingqiu, ignore him completely, though Shen Qingqiu is sure that the moment he tries to run—or attack—they will be paying very close attention to him indeed.
"This one sincerely wishes to pay his debt to Immortal Master Shen," Zhuzhi-Lang says. "You will be safest in the Demon Realm."
"This master supposes Zhuzhi-Lang will not take 'no' for an answer," Shen Qingqiu says drily. "Half-Heavenly Demon—the other half is of the snake race?"
"My father was from the southern border," Zhuzhi-Lang says, all agreeability.
"Your mother?" Shen Qingqiu asks, for the sake of his own curiosity.
"Tianlang-Jun's younger sister."
Luo Binghe's aunt fucked a snake. Sure, why not? This world is absurd; that might as well happen.
Aaand now Shen Qingqiu is back to wondering if Zhuzhi-Lang used one of the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom seeds to grow himself a bipedal body. It seems rude to ask him that. Probably it was some Heavenly Demon bullshit that allowed him to look like this now. If Shen Qingqiu had to guess, he would say that Zhuzhi-Lang had probably used the seeds for Tianlang-Jun.
Actually, yes, that seems quite likely. They’re going to meet Tianlang-Jun in the Demon Realm. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t think Zhuzhi-Lang would have been so desperate to get the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom seeds if there were any other plan in the works to let Tianlang-Jun escape his mountain.
Heavenly Demons can take a lot of damage, but even Shen Qingqiu isn't sure how well a Heavenly Demon could have survived his sealing. For a Heavenly Demon to be sealed in the first place must have taken an incredible effort, wearing him down enough that not even a Heavenly Demon’s healing abilities could keep up; then there were whatever seals had been placed on him, which may well have interfered with his natural healing; then, of course, they had dropped a mountain on him.
It would almost be more surprising if Tianlang-Jun had managed to escape Bailu Mountain in his original body.
And more terrifying.
Truly, to survive something like that...Shen Qingqiu might admit that he understands why Airplane would cut such a figure from the narrative. Too OP, even compared to the OP Protagonist! Luo Binghe couldn't be overshadowed! Or defeated!
...Hm. Now that’s a thought.
Technically, Tianlang-Jun would be able to protect him from Luo Binghe, wouldn't he?
No! No, bad thought! Slippery slope! He's not interested in getting in the middle of a fight between the Protagonist and his father! He doesn't want to go to the Demon Realm! He wants to peacefully live his days as a rogue cultivator, where no one cares who he is or what he does! He never wants to see anyone from his previous life again, not Liu Qingge or Yue Qingyuan or Ning Yingying or especially Luo Binghe—
For fuck’s sake! Did Airplane's stupid fertilizers somehow give this body heartburn?!
Zhuzhi-Lang takes his long silence as a lack of follow-up questions. "We are already in the Borderlands; we can set out in the morning. Would Immortal Master Shen like assistance in washing up?"
Shen Qingqiu wants a fucking fan is what he wants. Fortunately—
"Unnecessary," he says. "However, if Zhuzhi-Lang would be so kind, this master has supplies buried beneath that tree there." He points at it.
Zhuzhi-Lang obediently wanders off to dig up some clothes for Shen Qingqiu, who—while Zhuzhi-Lang’s busy with that—works on excavating his legs. He starts near his feet, carefully avoiding the snakes that slither off the earth he's buried under. They move to circle Shen Qingqiu with the rest of their brethren. He gets it, he's still a captive!
Anyway. He starts with his feet, tossing dirt to the sides, steadily working his way up his legs. He digs around his hips, loosening the soil there so that he should be able to stand up easily once Zhuzhi-Lang returns. Not that he's going to do that until he has something to cover himself with.
Like fuck is he showing his kidnapper his dick!
It doesn't take long at all for Zhuzhi-Lang to return with a dirt-encrusted qiankun pouch. Shen Qingqiu gratefully roots around in it until he finds a sufficiently plain robe that he doesn't mind getting dirty.
"Turn around," he says imperiously.
Zhuzhi-Lang obediently does so. A very obedient demon in general, is Zhuzhi-Lang. At least in certain matters.
Shen Qingqiu stands as well as he can on unsteady, uncooperative legs, and at least manages to wrap the robe around himself before he falls back to the ground.
Airplane...!
Zhuzhi-Lang helps Shen Qingqiu make his wobbly way to the river. He even helps him into the water, but that's where Shen Qingqiu draws the line. Shen Qingqiu settles himself in a place that is comfortably chest deep when he's sitting, and then he sends Zhuzhi-Lang back to shore.
"And close your eyes!" Shen Qingqiu calls after him, before wondering if that’s something Zhuzhi-Lang can even do. He has eyelids in this form, so...probably?
Shen Qingqiu peels himself out of his now-sodden robe and tosses it onto a nearby, conveniently placed boulder. He'll turn it inside out and use it as a towel before getting dressed. For now...Shen Qingqiu doesn't have any soap or hair supplies, so he simply does his best to scrub at his skin and finger-combs his hair, dunking his head multiple times in the process. Blegh. The mud is absolutely caked in.
He doesn't bother with something stupid like swimming for the opposite shore and trying to make a break for it. He's already spotted multiple snakes in the river. Zhuzhi-Lang is polite enough to respect Shen Qingqiu's privacy, but he's no fool.
Instead, as Shen Qingqiu washes himself, he contemplates his options.
There aren't many.
Conceivably, Shen Qingqiu could play up the Original Goods' reputation and demand Zhuzhi-Lang take them to a brothel. From there, if he has access to realgar wine, he could overwhelm Zhuzhi-Lang's senses, drive him away…
The problem with this plan is that they're in the Borderlands. He and Shang Qinghua had specifically chosen this location because it was so out of the way. The nearest village is miles away from here. Assuming that Shen Qingqiu does convince Zhuzhi-Lang to take him to that village in the hopes of finding a brothel, there's no guarantee that there is one there, or that they will have what Shen Qingqiu needs. They're too far out on the edges of civilization.
On top of that—Zhuzhi-Lang might simply have Shen Qingqiu wait until they're in the Demon Realm before allowing him to "sate his pleasures."
No, that plan isn't going to work.
What he needs is a fully-functioning body and a distraction. Which means...he needs to go along with Zhuzhi-Lang for now.
Oh, I hope I don't regret this.
He regrets it.
Shen Qingqiu had taken the opportunity, after his bath, to shave off the ugly beard. He had nearly slapped it right back on when he realized how damnably similar he still looked to the Original Goods—but it would have been a rather pointless gesture while he was in Zhuzhi-Lang's company. Shen Qingqiu would simply have to find a good disguise for himself once they, ah, parted ways.
Shen Qingqiu had spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening stretching his limbs and practicing walking. Zhuzhi-Lang gallantly offered him an arm to lean on when he started, though Shen Qingqiu had quickly figured out how to maintain his own balance. Admittedly with a humiliatingly stiff gait at first, the same arm and leg moving simultaneously, but every little bit was progress! By the time Shen Qingqiu had gone to sleep, even that had eased, his body finally moving (mostly) like it should.
True to his word, Zhuzhi-Lang had had them set out in the early morning. Almost immediately, they ran into a small group of demons, and they would have passed them by, except—
"Where did you get that?" Shen Qingqiu had demanded coldly, staring at Liu Mingyan's sword tassel tied to the smallest demon's waist.
"I-I-I didn't steal it!" the demon said, gaze darting back and forth between Shen Qingqiu and Zhuzhi-Lang. "I found it! I found it!”
"Where?"
The demon folded immediately.
Shen Qingqiu had stalked away after he had all the information he needed. Zhuzhi-Lang had followed behind him. If he tried to stop Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu was going to see just how well a Heavenly Demon could heal from Plucked Leaves, Flying Flowers when the attack was bolstered by this plant body's excessive qi.
"Honorable Zhuzhi-Lang," Shen Qingqiu had said, not pausing. "You understand debts and loyalty. I hope you will understand that I cannot leave my shizhi in the situation she has found herself."
Zhuzhi-Lang considered that carefully.
"Junshang will want to know of this," he had said finally.
Absolute chaos had followed Zhuzhi-Lang's acceptance of their mission, not least of which involved Shen Qingqiu learning that Liu Qingge has taken on a direct disciple (?!), and realizing that there was a very important question Shen Qingqiu had neglected to ask upon his immediate resurrection.
Five years?! What do you mean I've been dead for five years? Airplane, you said the bodies were ready, so why did it take so long to actually wake up?!
Worse than all that—
Luo Binghe was in the area. Shen Qingqiu had guessed as much from the small demon's report, but Sha Hualing was working directly for Luo Binghe, gathering sacrifices for him.
Zhuzhi-Lang and Shen Qingqiu have, as of the moment Shen Qingqiu realizes this, freed all of Luo Binghe’s captives, but now Shen Qingqiu is frozen in place, the System's dial-up [Reconnecting] noises and Liu Mingyan's wide-eyed, whispered "Shibo?" ringing in his ears—
Zhuzhi-Lang turns into a fuck-off huge snake and eats him.
Shen Qingqiu regrets everything.
When Zhuzhi-Lang spits him up who-the-hell-knows-how-long later, Shen Qingqiu just lies there and pretends to be dead.
"Is he all right?" an unfamiliar voice asks. "Zhuzhi, you didn't kill him, did you? I thought you were fond of this one."
A foot nudges his side. Shen Qingqiu sighs and opens his eyes.
"Don't mind me. I'm simply updating the rankings on my list of 'worst experiences,'" he says.
"Ooh," the man standing over him says appreciatively. "Where does this one rank?"
Shen Qingqiu gazes at the man. Demon. There are no prizes for guessing who he is. His face is unfamiliar, but his eyes—
Shen Qingqiu had had to take a moment to identify Zhuzhi-Lang, to dredge the depths of his memories to figure out when they had met each other. He needs to do no such thing for this man.
He would know those eyes anywhere.
They’re Luo Binghe’s.
"Worse than being buried alive," Shen Qingqiu tells Tianlang-Jun, after a moment’s contemplation. Being trapped inside a snake’s—throat? stomach? was more viscerally upsetting than waking up to find himself buried underground. "Better than the nightmare Meng Mo once tossed me into." As if Shen Qingqiu had needed any reminders of the fate he was running from. As if he had ever wanted to experience the Original Goods' torture firsthand, years before he had expected to have to.
(What Shen Qingqiu doesn't say: it was better than dying. Either time.
The first time, Shen Qingqiu prefers to ignore, because he doesn't like thinking about it. He hates thinking about how he had died scared and alone, how he could feel the warmth leaving him as his life slipped away, how his sister was probably going to be the one to find his body.
The second time...
The second time hurts too much. The grief and the guilt are too much for him. The look on Luo Binghe's face, madness and agony that Shen Qingqiu had put there—
Detonating his core had been one bright, brief burst of pain, but then he was gone. He hadn't even felt himself hit the ground. Luo Binghe, though.
Luo Binghe sticks with him.)
"You have lived a life, haven't you?" Tianlang-Jun says more than he asks, and, smiling faintly, adds, "Please, tell me more. I'm so very excited to meet you at last, Qing Jing Peak Lord."
I should have gone with the brothel plan after all, Shen Qingqiu thinks resignedly.