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Wu Ming was gone. Wu Ming had died hundreds of years ago.
But Wu Ming was there; Xie Lian made sure of it.
Wu Ming was in the shackle on Xie Lian’s ankle. Wu Ming was there every time Xie Lian saw someone in all black, but never looking quite as dashing as the forever smiling ghost he once knew. Wu Ming was there every time Xie Lian saw a theater mask with a similar laughing expression, but never as playful or teasing as the real one.
Wu Ming was in the red-clad youth’s cheeky smile. Wu Ming was in the one who wore maple red robes’ posture, as they both stood respectively yet comfortably and not at all indifferent. Wu Ming was in the third son’s ponytail, both were sleek and smooth as they swayed with every movement. He was found in the young man’s selflessness as he jumped into the pit in Banyue Pass.
Wu Ming was there in the raven black hair of the most powerful calamity to come out of Mt Tonglu. He was there every time the ruler of Ghost City called him “You Highness.” Wu Ming was there in the way the Ghost King would turn away shyly when Xie Lian said something a bit unexpected. Wu Ming was there in his ears, pointed and cute. Wu Ming was there in the cold touch of his skin. Wu Ming was there in the way the crimson-dressed man cradled him in his arms as they both held on for dear life in an awkward coffin.
The more of Wu Mung Xie Lian found in the interesting and handsome man, the deeper Xie Lian fell in love-
No.
No, he was not falling in love with him.
He couldn’t.
He promised this to himself ages ago and made sure that this would be the one promise he wouldn’t break.
.
.
.
Xie Lian had spotted a lone flower dancing in the wind. His most devoted follower wouldn’t leave him, he wouldn’t…right?…
Xie Lian cupped the flowy petal in his hardened and callous riddled hands.
“I will never move on from you.” His eyes squinted to stop from letting tears fall. “You’re supposedly my most devoted believer, so I will be the god you deserve. I’ll wait, I swear. Either in this lifetime or thousands more, I will make it up to you.”
He gave a pitiful smile.
“I know our paths will cross again, I just don’t know when.”
With that, the man in white walked off a little slower than usual, another shackle added to his ankle that was covered with more bandages, a new purpose to move on, and the first love in his heart.
.
.
.
Xie Lian was a monster for ever thinking this.
‘I wonder if his lips are as soft as they look.’
‘Why does my heart have to be in such a hurry around him?’
‘Why do I want to…give into this?’
Why couldn’t he do just this one thing for his believer?
God, he was a terrible, horrible, excuse for a god.
It was worsened yet made a little easier when he learned his new friend had a beloved already. Someone precious, noble, gracious, special someone, or whatever. It hurt because the man had already gotten Xie Lian’s heart all knotted up and hopeful. But, it was also easier because it meant now Xie Lian had to hold himself back from falling in love with his enticing companion.
God, why couldn’t Xie Lian be a bit more like him? He was so loyal and faithful…Xie Lian had basically given up as soon as their hands made contact in the gambler’s den.
Then…
The Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.
And…
The confession.
Xie Lian didn’t think, god, he never does!
The man in white instantly ran and embraced the other in crimson.
Xie Lian did love him, but he also felt so wrong for it.
Wu Ming was his first love, and he didn’t realize it until he died. He was supposed to be waiting, wasn't he?
But…wouldn’t Wu Ming want him to have this?
To be happy?
.
.
.
Xie Lian felt terrible.
Not only had he betrayed his first-ever love, but he was also betraying his new love, the one who had affection for him since he was 10, the one who had died in the army for him.
And he was lying.
Xie Lian knew that his beloved claimed to be loyal, even after all of that, however, who in all three realms would stay by his side if they figured out that he was almost a calamity?!
But then…
And then…
“I am forever your most devoted believer.”
Holy shit.
God was real.
It was this man in front of him, kneeling, hand holding Xie Lian’s hand tenderly, looking at him with this unworldly adoration and dedication that Xie Lian so obviously didn't deserve.
That is why he couldn't fully love Hua Cheng for all that he was because Xie Lian thought that he was in love with two people.
No, just a single, really amazing one.