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Ruby told them what happened while they were in their little dorm room at Shade. The remarks, the voices, the faces of the dead Neo used to torment her, to break her down and crush her soul into tiny pieces. Pieces perfect for a tea cup to hold.
With every word she got smaller, curling in on herself more and more until she was practically in a tight ball. Her face was pressed into her knees, trying to hide any quiet cries that slipped through past her shaky voice. Her team refused to leave, not wanting their leader to be alone for another moment more. And with how tight Ruby was holding Yang's hand, they doubt they could leave if they wanted to.
The words tumbled out her mouth quickly, like she was trying to push past it. Names came out as Ruby got into what happened to her before they arrived through the hole in the wall.
Ironwood, Lionheart, Ozpin, Clover.
Pyrrha…
Penny.
Oh, how sick Neo is. All for a death that wasn't even Ruby's fault.
But… Yang knows there's something missing. Something Ruby is purposely leaving out. The light in Ruby's eyes flickered for a moment before she continued on to explain about how Neo gave her that tea cup.
She was leaving something out. And with what Neo did, who knows what it could be.
But the slow squeeze Ruby gave her hand Yang can guess she'll know sooner or later.
-
"Yang?" Yang opened her eyes slowly and glanced up with a small yawn. Ruby was standing above her, her arms wrapped around herself tightly. The other two were fast asleep just beside them.
The four of them tried to sleep in separate beds the first night they were in Shade but when Ruby woke up nearly sobbing, her hands reaching towards her sister desperately as she trembled they changed their sleeping arrangements that night. Or, well, Yang did. Blake and Weiss were busy with their crying leader.
The four mattresses were lined on the floor in a row on the floor with the largest blanket they could find laid over it. With Ruby in between Weiss and Blake and Yang behind Blake, it was nearly impossible for Ruby to wake up from nightmares without waking one of the others up.
Except tonight. She must've used her Semblance to get out to not wake Blake or Weiss.
"Rubes..?" Yang whispered back, rubbing her eyes and slowly sitting up as she carefully moved her other arm out from under Blake. Waking up Blake was not on her list right now.
"I need to ask you something." Yang glanced at the other two that were thankfully still asleep before she looked back at her sister. "Please. I can't… I can't sleep without asking you this and-"
"Ruby." Yang gently interrupted. "It's okay. Give me a second, alright?"
"Okay." Ruby whispered as she stepped back from her team. After successfully getting out from under the covers and giving them a quick look-over, the sisters left the room with a quiet click of the door closing.
They walked off to an empty room, not too far from their little dorm room but far enough that no one would hear them.
"What… What did you want to ask me?" Yang quietly said, looking at Ruby to her side.
She shouldn't be so apprehensive to talk to her. Ruby's her sister, her life.
Yang knows why. She just doesn't want to say it to herself. Because if she says it, it's true. It's true that Ruby didn't want to…
"There was something else Neo did." Thank the Brothers for the interruption. Yang doesn't know if she could survive being with her thoughts for a moment more. "Before she gave me the tea."
"Yeah?" Yang asked quietly. "What was it?" Ruby looked at her from the corner of her eye before wrapping her arms around herself tightly.
The silence was almost suffocating but Yang didn't say a word. She wanted Ruby to say it.
Oh how she wished what Ruby was about to say wasn't true.
"Neo used you guys to hurt me. Weiss, Blake and- and you." There was another silence that filled between them. It was heavier.
Neo used them. Blake's eyes, Weiss' face, Yang's voice; used to torture her little sister. Used to break down and destroy her, mentally and physically and emotionally and-
Yang felt like sobbing. Tortured. That word crossed her mind once or twice after she watched Ruby drink that tea but it got swept up in the tornado of her other thoughts of grief. But now there's nothing stopping that horrible word from crawling into her mind and ripping in, biting and scratching at any chance of something happy being in there.
She's never regretted letting Neo go more than right in this moment. They just let her go after what she did. Is she really this big of a fuck up of a sister that she couldn't even get back at the person that hurt Ruby?
"Yang?"
She was supposed to protect her. She's Ruby's big sister; her closest family and she was supposed to look after her. Ruby's her world and has been since she was born and Yang didn't protect her.
She couldn't protect her. The one time Yang lets herself be selfish and love someone else and look their way instead of Ruby's way and everything goes wrong…
"Yang…"
Yang raised her. Yang looked after her. Yang helped train her and teach her and prepare her for the world and yet that wasn't enough. Why didn't she do more? Ruby was all she had for so long, Ruby was the one that kept her happy and motivated growing up and yet she couldn't give anything back for that.
A hug doesn't fix things, Yang, you know this. It didn't work with you and dad, so why would it work with you and Ruby-?
"Yang, you love me right?" Yang's eyes snapped to Ruby, wide with surprise. She was so deep in her self deprecating thoughts that the sound of her sister calling for her went unheard.
But before she could apologise for ignoring her again, Ruby continued. "You- you don't hate me?" Ruby finally looked at her, those sweet silver eyes full of tears and fear. "Please-"
Within a second, Yang had her arms around her little sister, holding her close. A flood of tears and sobs ripped from Ruby's throat almost immediately as her hands clung tightly onto Yang's loose shirt.
"Please- Please don't hate me, Yang… I'm sorry-" Ruby could barely get two words out before more cries tore out her mouth. She pushed her face into Yang's shoulder, holding onto her for dear life. "I- I know I wasn't the best sister or leader or daughter but-"
"Ruby, no." Yang whispered as her right hand gently tangled in the back of Ruby's hair to hold her closer. "I would never, okay? I could never hate you. Don't ever say that." The dam holding back Yang's tears was rapidly cracking but she couldn't cry now, not when it's Ruby that needs to be held.
"I'm sorry-"
"Shh… It's okay. I don't hate you. You're not a bad sister. You're not a bad leader. And you're not a-" It's only now that Yang realises what Ruby said.
A bad daughter.
"No, no…" Yang muttered as she moved her hands slowly. She pulled Ruby's face back slightly before cupping her cheeks to wipe her tears.
(For a moment, it reminds Yang of when she did this when they were kids. Ruby had tripped over in the garden and scraped her knee. She ran to Yang with tears in her eyes. She went to Yang- not anyone else- to patch her up and wipe her tears away.
Because she knew that, even back then, that Yang would be there to help her.
No matter what.)
"She- Neo- She said that-"
"Ruby…" Who knew something could hurt this bad? Losing an arm? Facing Adam again? Being held down by Salem herself? No. Those things felt like nothing compared to Ruby's pain in this moment. Ruby's sobs alone felt like knives in Yang's chest and her shaking feeling a punch to the gut.
"You- Yang, she used you to tell me that-" Ruby got cut off by another choked sob before she pushed her face back into Yang's shoulder. " You said that- that you and mom hated me -"
It broke. One sentence- just eight words- broke that reinforced dam behind Yang's eyes that she tried so hard to keep stable.
Within a second, both of them were clinging to each other and sobbing, unable to let any legible words. Quiet babbles of "I'm so sorry" and "It's not true" were muttered between them, neither sure of who said what through their tears.
Yang didn't even realise that she had started rocking Ruby back and forth in her arms, whispering any soothing thing she could think of to help stop the tears coming from those silver eyes she loved so much.
(Summer did this to Yang, too, from what she remembers.)
They were tired and hurt and so scared of the future but at least they had each other. No more secrets, no more hidden feelings, no more this. This wouldn't happen again, so long Yang is Ruby's big sister.
Her family is never gonna get hurt again.