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Yaz had always felt a special connection with the Doctor. Ever since she met her on that fateful night, she had been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. She loved everything about her: her intelligence, her courage, her compassion, her humor, her smile. She loved traveling with her across the universe, seeing wonders and facing dangers. She loved being by her side, holding her hand, hugging her, kissing her.
She knew the Doctor loved her too, in her own way. The Doctor was always kind and gentle with her, always attentive and supportive. The Doctor had told her many times that she was her favorite companion, that she was glad to have met her, that she cared for her deeply. The Doctor had also kissed her back, many times, with passion and tenderness.
But Yaz also knew that the Doctor was not like her. The Doctor was a Time Lord, an ancient and mysterious being who had lived for thousands of years and seen countless worlds. The Doctor had a past that haunted her, a future that scared her, a destiny that called her. The Doctor had secrets that she kept from Yaz, secrets that sometimes made her distant and sad.
Yaz knew that one day, the Doctor would leave her. She knew that one day, the Doctor would find a new adventure, a new challenge, a new reason to go on without her. She knew that one day, the Doctor would say goodbye to her, and never come back.
She dreaded that day. She feared that day. She hated that day.
She wished it would never come.
She wished she could stay with the Doctor forever.
She wished she could be like the Doctor.
She wished she could be a Time Lord.
She wished she could regenerate.
She wished she could change.
She wished she could escape.
She wished she could forget.
But she couldn't.
She was human.
She was mortal.
She was fragile.
She was broken.
She was alone.
And she was afraid.
One day, Yaz decided to tell the Doctor how she felt. She decided to tell her that she loved her more than anything, that she wanted to be with her always, that she couldn't bear the thought of losing her. She decided to tell her that she wished she could be a Time Lord, that she wished she could regenerate, that she wished she could change.
She waited for the right moment. She waited for a quiet and peaceful time, when they were alone in the TARDIS, after a long and exciting day. She waited for the Doctor to look at her with those hazel eyes that made her heart melt. She waited for the Doctor to smile at her with that grin that made her feel warm. She waited for the Doctor to say something nice to her, something sweet, something funny.
She waited………………..and waited………
And then she spoke.
She told the Doctor everything. She poured out her heart. She bared her soul.
She hoped for the best.
She feared for the worst.
She waited for the Doctor's response.
The Doctor was silent.
The Doctor was still.
The Doctor was shocked.
The Doctor was hurt.
The Doctor was angry.
The Doctor was disappointed.
The Doctor was disgusted.
The Doctor was appalled.
The Doctor was horrified.
The Doctor was furious.
The Doctor spoke.
She told Yaz that she had misunderstood everything. She told her that she didn't love her like that, that she never loved her like that, that she couldn't love her like that. She told her that she was just a friend, just a companion, just a human. She told her that she was sorry, but she had to go. She told her that she had to leave her, that she had to forget her, that she had to erase her. She told her that she wished she had never met her, that she wished she had never taken her, that she wished she had never kissed her.
She told her goodbye.
She pushed a button.
She opened a door.
She threw Yaz out.
She closed the door.
She left Yaz behind.
She left Yaz alone.
She left Yaz broken.
I don’t know why the Doctor did that. Maybe she was afraid of her own feelings. Maybe she was ashamed of her own actions. Maybe she was haunted by her own past. Maybe she was scared of her own future. She was definitely not the definition of 'stupidity'. Maybe she was just being the Doctor.
In this context, a human might say that the Doctor was a coward, a liar, a hypocrite, a monster, a villain.
But I don’t know.
How might Yaz handle that rejection? Maybe she would cry. Maybe she would scream. Maybe she would run. Maybe she would fight. Maybe she would give up.
In this context, a human might say that Yaz would be heartbroken, devastated, shattered, crushed, destroyed.
But I don’t know.
Might the Doctor change her mind? Maybe she would be regretful. Maybe she would apologize. Maybe she would return. Maybe she would explain. Maybe she would ask forgiveness.
In this context, a human might say that the Doctor would be sorry, remorseful, guilty, repentant, contrite...
And full of herself.
But I don't know.
And what if Yaz walked away? Distraught. Disillusioned ………..
Maybe she would survive. Maybe she would heal. Maybe she would grow. Maybe she would learn to love a human. Maybe she would live.
A human might say that Yaz would be strong, resilient, brave, hopeful and truly happy.
I don't know.
I don’t have all the answers.
I'm just trying to be creative.
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