Chapter Text
Chapter 1
The contract of the god of contracts
Rex lapis sat in solitude in his office, enjoying the chimes of the wind and the melody of the birds singing songs of peace. Their songs reminded the god of his very own songbird, Xiao. When will I get to hear him sing again? He wondered, his head resting on his left hand. The god and the young Yaksha had a falling out after the war. After the losses both sides had faced back then, their relationship fell apart. He knew he needed to talk to the boy, yet neither of them volunteered to communicate. This time though, Rex lapis will fix his relationship with his most loyal soldier and it shall be his very own contract set in stone. As a first step to fulfill his contract, he summoned the young adeptus, his eyebrows frowned, surprised by how foreign the yaksha’s name felt on his tongue. His usually stable heartbeat raced, fingers impatiently tapping on his thighs in eagerness to see the yaksha.
The yaksha showed up in a swirl of blue and black. Rex Lapis raised an eyebrow at that, biting back his anger just so the young one had a chance to explain himself.
“At your service, your majesty” Xiao knelt before the god, his eyes on the floor. His body was covered in small tremors, in fear of what the god has summoned him for. After 130 years. It was an unnecessary fear, xiao knew that, yet his soul and mind were so wretched apart, they never worked together.
The god sighed at the yaksha's abject obeisance. It would have been ‘my lord’ had that incident not happened.
“You broke our contract” Rex lapis stated, as a matter of fact, stiff as a stone. Xiao did not see how his god swallowed back the sadness that was rushing up his throat, taking a silent deep breath to school his face of any emotion.
The adeptus lowered his head further. The lack of questions, shock, or confusion from the yaksha gave Rex lapis the answer he needed. The contract was indeed broken with the knowledge of the yaksha.
Now that the door for a nice chat had been closed by the broken contract, the doors for a more serious talk had to be opened. “Sit” he ordered, as he pointed towards the tuxedo he had recently purchased. He put away his paperwork and took a seat on his couch.
Xiao obediently raised and took a seat as ordered but that didn't stop his mind from screaming at him to run, to hide, to disappear. Xiao clutched his thighs as a sharp pain exploded in his head. The disappointed glare from his god, his savior was a spear to his heart. If only, the spear would kill him, devour his blood, and rip his soul apart. He stopped his hand from reaching for his wrist and instead prompted himself to pinch his arm.
“Explain yourself” Rex lapis ordered, face void of emotions but mind full of raging thoughts.
The yaksha's breath hitched in his heart, “I-” he took a deep breath before continuing “I do not have an excuse, your majesty. Please punish me as you see fit”
“I asked for an explanation” he stated, losing patience.
“I am sorry”
“That is not an explanation”
The yaksha kept his mouth sealed, refusing to answer
“Fine. Then tell me this, how did you accumulate so much karma in only 130 years?”
“I-” He started but stopped himself as a flood of images rushed into his mind. “please punish me” he requested instead
“I will punish you but I need to hear your answers first. Answer me, Adeptus” He raised his voice, cursing himself internally for not maintaining a stable conversation. He could feel Guizhong’s disappointed look from Celestia.
‘Adeptus’ the word pricked Xiao like a million thorns. Like the poison of his former master.
He suppressed a flinch and collected his thoughts, finding the right answer but it was not the answer he was looking for. “It was the punishment I deserved” he answered in the faintest of whispers
“I’m unable to understand you. Answer me properly”
Xiao could not- he will not. His answer is his failure to appreciate his god's efforts to give him peace. Unable to chase away his shame anymore, he sat on his knees, hand on his thigh, his head bowed low, and offered himself to his god. He shivered as he heard the familiar long and deep breath that his god takes to prevent himself from erupting into anger.
“ENOUGH of this, young adeptus! It's tiring to see your abject submission. Respect yourself” He paused and softened his tone before continuing. “If you had any respect for me, you would respect yourself”
Xiao’s head immediately shot up, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Your majesty, I do respect you! You know I respect you!” he defended himself, his voice cracking as he tries to wash down his disappointment in himself
“No. you don't” his god stated impassively
“Your majesty-” he started but cut himself short by the dangerous glare the older was giving him. He stared at the wooden floor again. A droplet of his escaped tear dripped onto the wood, darkening the spot.
“Your contract will be terminated temporarily”
His head shot up, once again. No- his contract tied him to his life. His god knew that, then why? Before he could even start to speak, he was cut off, again.
“If you have a fitting explanation to justify the breach of your contract, speak of it. If not, accept the wrath of the rock.”
The yaksha cried silently. His sobs shook his body but ever so slightly. He didn't answer. He did have an explanation but not the explanation his god wanted or needed to hear.
“Very well then. Go to your room. We will discuss your punishment in the evening”
Xiao was confused, first and foremost. ‘Wasnt the termination of his contract his punishment? What did his god mean by ‘we will discuss your punishment’?’
Rex lapis was quick to notice the look of confusion on his Yaksha’s face. He didn't miss the hint of fear in how the Yaksha’s sleeves shivered along with him and how his hands were clutching his thighs so tight.
He sighed and started explaining, “When a contract is breached, it is automatically followed by the termination of the contract. Your ‘temporary termination’ is a reward for your years of loyalty and hard work towards Liyue and me. Termination of a contract does not equal the wrath of the rock. You still have to pay the price of the breach of contract. Do you have any further questions?”
Xiao’s mouth and throat were completely dry and burning from his efforts to chase away his tears. “N-no, your majesty” he answered, choking on his own words.
“Very well. I will discuss this with the older adpeti and we will decide on a punishment well suited for you. At the moment, I want you to go to your room and rest. Your karma has grown wild and you need treatment. Ganyu will see to your needs and you will listen to her. Do you understand?”
Treatment, again! How pathetic he was to worry his god over him. Why could he never be strong enough? Strong enough to hide from the world and hide from the demons that chased him through his mask.
He snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his throat, “I understand your majesty”
✰ ✰ ✰✰ ✰ ✰
Xiao’s legs led him to his room while his mind wandered elsewhere. The overwhelming scent of wood and petrichor in his room brought him back to the present. Something within him, an unworthy part of him felt loved, seeing his room maintained despite his 130 years of disappearance. His plain white bed, his knitted blanket, his table full of colorful books, and even his plushies were left intact and looked to be cared for.
He was suddenly drowning. Memories of the past, of Guizhong, of Sky bracer, of his siblings, of his master, of his commander, they all swirled in his head creating a spiral of pain. He didn't want to think, he would rather feel empty. If only his memories were ripped from him like he ripped the dreams of the innocent, how great would that be?
He pulled himself together and instead focused on his plushies. The urge to cuddle with them and hide them raced against each other in his heart. In the end, he decided against cuddling them and opted to hide them instead. He stored the smaller ones away under his bed and moved on to his giant dragon plushies and his huge deer plushie when he heard a knock on his door
“Come in,” he answered the knock, assuming its Ganyu.
The blue-haired qilin sheepishly came in with a large bag of supplies and anxiously greeted him, “Umm..uhhhh…good to see you again, general”
“Just ‘Xiao’ will do,” he answered, although he knew it was impossible to convince Ganyu to call him by his name. He had been asking her for centuries now
Ganyu conveniently ignored him and started unpacking her bag. “Take a seat, please. I was ordered to give you a full checkup”
Xiao was too tired, so he obeyed without any coaxing. He set his plushies aside and took a seat next to them
Before he could inquire about her, the qilins hand was against his forehead, checking for a fever. She studied a few of his pulse points and wrote down something on her mini notepad.
She stretched her hand out, three black pills were sitting on it. “Take these first and I will administer a shot after you are done”
He did not suppress his flinch on time. The hairs on his neck stood up straight, vigilant and fearful, as he processed the word.
“oh ..don't worry. I got anesthetics and numbing cream with me. It will be over in a second” Ganyu consoled, trying to ease the aura in the room. The qilin was familiar with the yaksha’s past. The look on his face, it awakened something in her. Something of a tragic nostalgia. She heard the screams, his screams, loud and clear like it was of the present.
It's not the pain I am afraid of Xiao thought to himself. Rex lapis ordered you to listen to her he reminded himself, ignoring his desire to run. “I understand” he responded to her efforts in comforting him. He was grateful, incredibly so but he wished she wasn't so kind, wasn't so giving, wasn't so caring, wasn't so understanding towards a monster such as himself. If only she would view him as the monster he is. He suppressed a sigh and took the medicine, trying to strengthen himself for the upcoming shot in the process.
Ganyu’s eyes flew back and forth from the yaksha to the injection, trying to figure out if he was ready. He was not but he will not show that. “Go on…” he said with a barely concealed fear
Ganyu was now, just as panicked as xiao was. Fix it, fix it now her inner voice urged her but ganyu was lost. What was she supposed to fix? Despite being lost, she tried. She closed her eyes, glad to see the pitch black, and prepared herself. “General, I will tell you exactly what I will be doing so you are prepared for what’s coming next” she comforted him in her professional tone
He only nodded, even though he was tremendously grateful to her.
“Keep your left hand on the table, palm out” she instructed
He obeyed
“Now I am applying a numbing cream over your median cubital vein”
That did not make sense but he didn't say that. Just hearing her talk, hearing her calm voice was comforting.
“We will wait for 3 minutes until the cream takes effect and then I will administer your shot”
He held his breath, praying that the 3 minutes never come to an end,
But it did,
And the qilin was filling the injection with some weird blue liquid.
Xiao’s face was stoic, denuded of any fear but his heart was racing. He needed to breathe but could not- would not breathe. He feared breathing, he didn't know why, but he feared it. Cold, it was very cold. His free hand was clenching his thighs with all its might, he kept his eyes on the floor refusing to look up. She is dead, xiao. This is not her. Ganyu is not her. Xiao repeated these three sentences in his mind, over and over again.
“Alright, I will administer the shot now” Ganyu announced, snapping him out of his mini-mind chant.
His body was fully shaking now, his legs tapped against the wooden floor in a comforting rhythm.
“Uh..general…..”
He looked up, a little annoyed that Ganyu was not getting on with it quickly
“It's dangerous to administer it when you are not still” She did not believe for a second that her words will calm the yaksha down
And it did not. “I am trying,” he said, his voice faint and small, so very unlikely of the general yaksha
Ganyu’s eyes were misty. He needed comfort but she could not offer it. She was too shy, too panicked, too anxious. she was of no help, to the humankind or the adpeti
“Is it okay if I try to hold your hand down?” she asked, blinking away her tears, biting her inner cheeks.
He nodded, eyes back on the floor
Xiao’s arm was firmly held down by Ganyu. Being an archer, her hands were incredibly strong but he could feel it. He could feel the sharp needle getting closer to his skin and he pulled his hand back.
“I can't! I am sorry. I can't….please. Please don't” the yaksha sputtered out his desperate pleas. His cold sweat only made him shiver more