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Vash could feel the sweat trickling down his face as he stood, feet wide, facing-
Facing his brother.
He licked his lips, denying the urge to grimace, to break eye contact, to look away and hide from the truth in front of him.
Just one hit. Just one hit. It doesn’t have to be lethal. It doesn’t have to be lethal.
Nai probably knew he didn’t intend to kill him.
He probably knew that Vash was desperate, searching for a way out that kept all of them alive.
Nai was smart. He definitely knew.
The twin in question was smiling with a tinge of smugness. It sent a surge of regret and sorrow down Vash’s throat.
He remembered that smile. He remembered seeing it when Nai solved a particularly difficult equation, or came up with an idea and Rem joyfully clapped and sung his praises.
When did that boy Vash had called his brother sour? When had things changed?
Years and years of death and violence.
And Vash still didn’t know.
He probably would never know.
Knives finally stopped pacing, turning to face Vash, his expression clear despite his large hood.
He was excited about this.
“If you can land a single shot on my person I am more than willing to let you and your little playmates run free.”
“All of them?” Vash had gasped out.
Nai had squinted in confusion before a startled bark of laughter shattered the silence.
“You want HIM? After everything?”
“Answer the question!” Vash shouted.
As long as people were still alive, he could figure out everything later. They just needed to be ALIVE.
Nai laughed harsh and empty.
“Fine with me! If you want him you can take him, he’s more useless than a broken machine to me now.”
Vash had to resist the urge to growl at that.
“All I have to do is land a single shot?”
“Just one shot. Surely you can manage such an inane feet, dear younger brother?”
Vash found his eyes temporarily darting to the side. Roberto and Meryl were being held by Nai’s men, a little worse for wear but neither of them suffering from debilitating or deadly injuries.
They darted to the opposite where…
Wolfwood’s head hung low, refusing to look up, refusing to make eye contact with anybody.
He wasn’t being guarded. They hadn’t even bothered to take away his machine gun.
Likewise to Meryl and Roberto he seemed to be okay. Just…
“Brother dearest, its somewhat rude to ignore your opponent.” Nai said with an edge of poutiness to it.
Vash closed his eyes against the overwhelming sense of sorrow. Today he didn’t have a choice. Today he had to fight.
Just one shot. Non-lethal.
He could put it to the side for now. For now, there were other people to save.
“Now you know how I detest an uneven game.”
Vash seriously doubt he minded that much.
“So I’ve decided in the spirit of fairness, I will only use half of my arsenal.”
Saying this he bent his wrist with a flourish, and what Vash could only assume was half of his knives rapidly left his person.
Instead they began forming a large oval around the two of them, wide enough to create a fairly expansive arena. Nobody would be able to come between Nai and his game.
Vash’s heart sank. He’d hoped that he might be able to find some way to reach the others.
He’d have to come up with a new plan.
Nai had already seen through him.
“Secondly.”
Suddenly the air was filled with a tinkling noise as golden cold metal fell from the air around Vash and Nai’s feet.
Bullets.
Thousands of bullets.
“I know that little toy of yours doesn’t exactly come with an extensive magazine, so please! Feel free to take what you need, I wouldn’t want you to feel as though you were at an unfair disadvantage.”
Vash swallowed.
Nai’s eyes narrowed.
“No comments dear younger brother of mine?”
He wished he could say something.
His heart was in his throat. If Nai didn’t finally kill him for this stunt than Vash’s heart might shatter in two and finish the job for him.
It didn’t matter.
Nai wasn’t going to listen. Not today.
But today Vash didn’t need him to listen.
Something on Nai’s face shifted. Vash’s heart skipped a beat.
He seemed…
Frustrated? Disappointed? Saddened?
It was different. Different than normal, different than what Vash normally saw from him.
Vash relaxed his stance slightly, straightening.
“Nai-”
All emotion was slammed off of Nai’s face with frightening speed and skill.
“Draw your weapon so that this duel may begin.”
Vash didn’t move.
“Nai- ”
“I SAID. DRAW. YOUR. WEAPON.”
Vash flinched back. Fingers fiddling with the strap until he found his hand around his pistol.
Don’t let him get to you. Don’t let him get to you. Don’t let him get to you-
Whatever Vash had seen was gone, replaced again by the cool and confident smile he used to be so proud of.
His heart ached, and ached and ached.
Not today. Not today.
Nai raised his hand, preparing to signal the start of the duel.
But someday.
He brought it down in a sharp chopping motion.
Please, someday.
“BEGIN.”
Vash’s boots barely touched the ground as he dashed forward, all pretenses and caution abandoned to the wind.
It wouldn’t matter what anybody knew, what anybody learned, if tomorrow all that was left of them was six feet under.
He had to make a difference NOW.
He heard the tell tale clatter of Nai’s cybernetic weapon of choice and ducked out of the way before continuing his dead sprint.
He clicked the safety off his pistol and raised it.
Eyes narrowed he looked.
Waiting as he ran.
The close he got the easier it would be to shoot-
A ripple like row of knives burst forth from Nai, blocking his path and requiring him to jump over them or become half of his height very abruptly.
As his feet instinctively carried him off the ground to avoid them he saw several more waves heading his way, relentless and solid as any stone wall.
The moment he regained his footing he ducked underneath the second, jumped again over the third.
A forth came his way and he tore through it with his prosthetic arm, deflecting his breakthrough point off behind him.
“HA!! You seek to use the very arm I gave you? You should know better by now! It won’t hold up forever!”
It didn’t have to hold up forever, just long enough-
Between vicious waves he cocked his gun and fired.
A distinct clink of a bullet connecting with metal.
“And here I thought with all this ammunition you’d be more spirited than normal with your use of your firearm.”
He bent backwards dodging another wave, seeing the tiniest tips of his hair severed by the blades.
He grit his teeth, straightening up and glanced another blow off his left arm.
He shot again.
“Really brother dear? Can’t you do better than that?”
Vash didn’t reply, focusing on avoiding more knives. This time as pinpoint tentacles.
He dashed out of the way.
Rolling on the floor and feeling the hundreds of bullets dig into his body he emerged on one knee and took another shot.
Nai had moved, his bullet went wide, hitting the deadly wall encasing them.
“Now now! Brother dear you’re going to hurt somebody if you’re not careful!”
Vash’s heart stuttered.
Nai-
Nai wasn’t going to let him be reckless.
Sure he blocked that bullet. And Vash wouldn’t be surprised if he blocked most of them. It’d still be inconvenient for his brother to loose his men.
But Moons , what if that had been heading for one of his friends -
He gasped in surprise pushing himself out of the way of a rapid attack with his legs, catching himself on his arms, and immediately pushing himself onto his feet under the hot pursuit of hundreds of knives.
Nai laughed, “Keep your head in the game brother dear! You know I don’t like it when you go easy on me!”
Vash panted, ignoring the sensation of warm blood running down his calf.
Nai had lifted himself into the air, hovering above him like a deadly guardian.
Vash refused to look at his face, instead avoiding the incoming projectiles and taking another shot.
He took a few more rapid shots doing his best to narrowly avoid incoming attacks.
He didn’t have to worry about hitting the others while Nai was in the air- but it wouldn’t last, he needed to use this time wisely-
A knife tentacle wrapped around his left arm, yanking him off balance and making his shot go wide.
He caught himself barely and went to slap away the appendage keeping him immobile but only whacked at air as Nai quickly withdrew it.
He growled.
Nai was going to play this as dirty as he felt like.
He just needed to hit him once, this was in his favor.
He would keep lying to himself as long as he had too.
As long as he was breathing.
He yelled, rushing at Nai.
When one of the tentacles went in for the attack he deftly stepped to the side before grabbing it with his left hand and making sure to wrap it around his wrist in the same motion.
He could hear the knives give under the pressure of his palm, not prepared or made to fight against its metal construction.
Nai sneered but did exactly what Vash wanted.
He dragged him off the ground and into the air.
Nai prepared a pincer attack, all too ready to skewer Vash in his foolish attack.
But before Vash reached that point he let go.
The speed propelled him into the air and up over Nai.
With a ridiculous amount of practice he managed to control his limbs as he flew threw the air and higher- higher-
he aimed his pistol down.
One shot
Two shots
Three-!
He refocused his gaze on the ground.
This was not going to be a fun landing-
He pulled in on himself landing hard on his metal shoulder and letting his momentum carry him into a roll. He ignored the painful jolt it sent through the core of his being.
He would feel that later, but right now he had to stay moving.
He whipped around and a row of knives ripped through his sleeve on his right arm, causing him to hiss in pain.
Nai had landed again and looked nearly furious.
Vash beat down the desire to smirk at that.
This was not a joyful moment. There was no joy in this.
“So you think you're clever?”
Vash leveled his pistol, eyes narrowed.
“Once upon a time, you said I was.” he said evenly.
Nai scoffed.
Individual knives separated from his tentacles, beginning to float in the air like a menacing hail.
Vash braced himself.
They rushed at him.
He deflected many with his arm, but he felt the results of missing many more. Ignoring the pain to the best of his ability as he began running towards Nai again.
They circled around him like an angry swarm of hornets, rapidly descending and flying at him without rhyme or reason.
His injuries were increasing by the second, he could feel the way his knees and right arm were becoming more and more exposed to the cold air.
Two could play at this game.
With one hand he continued to bat away at them as often as possible, with the other he began taking as many calculated shots as possible.
He heard the click of his empty magazine and finally brought in his prosthetic arm to scoop some of the offered bullets off the floor, barely avoiding falling down to join them as they rolled underneath his boots.
He batted away a few more knives before taking a moment to roll backwards and reload.
Having momentarily escaped the small storm he lifted his arms to aim at Nai-
Nai had disappeared.
His eyes widened, rapidly turning around-
Nai loomed over him, cold grin shadowed in gray light.
Vash yanked his gun arm away from where it had directed its barrel straight at Nai’s heart at the same time that Nai’s tentacles rammed into his chest sending him barreling backwards across the field.
He vaguely thought he heard panicked screams. He couldn’t make out the specific voices. Not as he rolled, the cylinder shape of the bullets serving to carry him all the way across until he harshly collided with a jagged wall.
Thankfully Nai apparently decided not to skewer him, but even the blunter edges of his knives were sharp, and he could feel the spots where blood was now trickling freely down his back.
“NAI STOP THIS HE’S YOUR BROTHER!”
Nai’s head shot up to stare Meryl dead in the eyes from where he stood.
“Do you dare think this is any of your business little girl?!”
Vash’s blood ran cold as Meryl yelped in pain.
“NEWBIE-”
“LITTLE MISSY-”
His head shot up, still spinning from his bad tumble.
Meryl’s eyes were wide, her shoulders heaving from panicked breathing. A sharp line of red across her cheek.
“Know your place. And Stay silent. I would hate to make a liar of myself.” Nai spat out.
Vash surged to his feet, a scream tearing through his lungs as he sent off three more rounds nearly blindly.
Don’t you dare touch them.
Don’t you dare don’t you dare don’t you dare.
I’M the one you hate.
His quick assault successfully grabbed Nai’s attention and he had to lift a wall of knives to block Vash’s onslaught.
Vash refused to look back to check on his friends.
He couldn't let Nai’s attention slip, to become more interested in what Vash would do if his bargaining chip wasn’t their little game.
Then again maybe Nai was tired of seeing Vash weep over dead bodies.
Nai’s mood was soured by Meryl’s shouting. He was getting more aggressive. Throwing more blades, thrashing around more indiscriminately, a frown now permanently affixed on his face.
Vash did his best to stay out of the way. Thankfully as his brother got more thoughtless it became easier to dodge, his movements becoming less and less calculated.
But Vash could feel the way breathing was becoming harder, and the way the room started to subtly spin when he moved too fast.
Nai threw him to the ground, pulling his flesh arm this time, dragging him and then releasing him with enough momentum for Vash to roll for a while.
This time he regained his footing but nearly feel over between the momentum and his growing lack of steadiness.
He got in two rounds off before he had to scoop up bullets to refuel again.
He had to duck out of the way, eyes widening before he collapsed onto his right shoulder as the bullets underneath his boots served as his undoing.
He let out a gasp of pain. The earlier damage to his body from his aerial landing plus the damage to his ribs from Nai’s shove was catching up with him.
Still he flailed his arms around until he got a grip, forcing his eyes open enough to see an oncoming attack and roll out of the way.
He took two ill aimed shots from there, just to get Nai to have to play defense before pushing himself off the ground and into a sprint, attempting to circle Nai.
Nai let him for a few seconds before Vash heard rather than saw the wall of knives behind him. Following him.
He grit his teeth and kept running, taking as many shots as he could even as he could hear the scrapping of metal against concrete catching up with him.
“NEEDLE NOGGIN JUMP FOR MOON’S SAKE!!”
Wolfwood’s screech startled him so badly he almost fell over. But in a moment of adrenaline fueled clarity he whipped around to face the incoming wall, bending his knees and leaping into the air.
He brought down his prosthetic to defend his lower legs as he failed to clear the top.
Thankfully it caught and the remainder ran into his steel toed shoes.
But the moment of relief was quickly doused when he landed hard on the floor again, unable to scream only because he choked on it.
Move, Move, Move, MOVE-
He pushed himself up, refusing to give into gravity and firing off a few more blind rounds which he heard fail to hit their mark more than he saw.
His head was spinning worse now, but he refused to give up.
He won or they died.
He couldn’t lose.
He COULDN’T LOSE.
“Getting a little tired brother dear?”
Vash blinked rapidly refocusing his eyes on Nai, who thankfully hadn’t moved this time.
His tone was no longer playful, condescending, or smug.
It sounded flat.
It sounded empty.
Vash raised his pistol. Spitting out the blood that had accumulated from him biting his tongue on that landing.
“Fine then.” Nai growled.
Their dance continued.
Nai seemed to have grasped that Vash wasn’t doing too well with breathing or getting hit in his center.
More and More of his attacks aimed for bludgeoning him around his mid drift and causing him to land harshly on the ground.
Vash could no longer hold back the pained cries when it happened.
The injuries were becoming worse and worse, and he needed to conserve his energy for beating Nai.
Soon he was hearing other screams join his own.
Very rarely could he make out who they belonged to. His ears were starting to ring and his eyes getting sand specks of black in them.
But sometimes he heard something with clarity and he grabbed onto it like a lifeline.
Just a bit more, just a bit more, just a bit more.
All it took was one shot.
Just. ONE.
Part of him distantly wondered why Nai hadn’t just impaled him already. He’d gotten so many chances at this point.
This was a losing game for him, Nai could’ve won from the start.
Vash knew that.
Nai knew that.
Vash grit his teeth and stood back up for the umpteenth time.
He fired off five rounds in rapid succession, bending to scoop up and reload, muscle memory carrying him through his blurring vision and screaming head.
“Enough of this.”
Vash nearly choked at those words.
He felt sharp pain dig into his right ankle as he was pulled off his feet again, once again landing harshly on the bullet strewn concrete with a shout he cut off by grinding his teeth together.
Nai didn’t pull him forward however, he simply released Vash’s ankle and Vash heard the sound of his tentacle retreating.
Vash tried to glance at Nai, but his vision was too impaired at the moment.
He lifted up his pistol, firing a few more rounds as he roughly shoved himself upright, placing weight on his left foot as he began to lever himself upright to stand-
The moment he put weight on his right foot he felt a bolt of searing pain that whited out his vision.
Awareness came back to him. He could hear screaming, everything else was nearly silent. He could make out the blurry edge of a bullet just in front of his nose.
“I said enough of this.”
Vash grunted, maneuvering his left arm, he could feel and hear it creaking from the damage it’d taken.
He got it underneath himself and proceeded to push himself upward, using his right arm to add to the support.
After a long, painful, slow minute he got himself sitting upright on bent knees.
Nai stood roughly ten feet away. Watching him.
His expression was blank.
He was no longer enjoying this game.
Vash slowly raised his arm.
He picked one spot, fired a round.
Moved minutely, fired a second.
Again, shifting, fired a third.
His trigger clicked.
He opened the barrel, scooped bullets off the floor. Ignored the way his ankle screamed at him from only supporting some of his weight. Ignored the way his head swam from the motion of even bending over slightly to scoop up bullets.
He deftly slipped each one into a slot and snapped the barrel back in place.
He raised both is arms, using his unstable left to steady his right.
Another round.
Another round.
Another round.
He kept firing, picking different spots each time, ignoring the chorus of clinks when metal hit metal and he wasted another piece of precious ammunition.
Again he bent over, again he reloaded. Again he shot.
Shot.
After shot.
After shot.
“I said.”
Another shot.
Another clink.
Another shot.
Another clink.
“Enough.”
Nai was standing right in front of him, chest right in front of Vash’s smoking pistol barrel.
He was out of bullets.
Vash felt every bone in his body shift as he kept breathing, eyes trailing up from where he uselessly held his pistol at his brother's mid drift, to meet eyes with Nai.
They were cold. Empty. Joyless.
Vash didn’t move.
Didn’t even lower his pistol.
I couldn’t hurt Nai anyways.
Not anymore.
He supposed it just brought him some silly comfort to put something between himself and Nai.
Between himself and what had replaced the brother he knew.
“Nai.” He gasped out, feeling the adrenaline fueling his body begin to bleed out.
He-
He needed to try again-
Just one more shot. Just one more shot.
“Nai.” He gasped out, not moving. The mantra in his head sounding more and more like a fairy tale.
A foolish child’s wish.
“Nai what happened to you?” He said between breaths, his need for air nearly stealing away the words along with the oxygen his lungs screamed for.
Nai’s expression shifted slightly. Something… something was there.
What was it?
It look- it looked a lot-
It looked a lot like regret.
Nai’s hand grabbed his pistol by the barrel, and slowly, gently, pulled it from his hands.
The sound it made falling to the floor was more deafening than anything Vash had ever heard.
“You lose, younger brother.” Nai said tonelessly.
Vash’s lungs constricted and he made a choked noise.
No.
No.
No.
No. No.
No. No. No. No.
No. No no no nononononononONONONONONONONONONO-
“Nai- Nai- Nai wait, Nai-”
Nai turned his back to him, the thousands of knives that had formed the barbed fence for their pointless duel receding to float around him.
It was as if the barbed fence had come around him, to protect him from something.
He stared back over at Vash, his expression once again a nearly perfect mask.
Nearly.
There was something there, there was something there-
Vash could see it. He could SEE it.
He just had to- he needed to-
“Nai, Nai, please Nai-!”
Nai continued to stare at him, unmoving, unchanging.
“It’s over brother.”
“NAI-” Vash screamed.
Nai turned away.
NO.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!
Glass shattered.
An abundance of noise filled the choking silence and Vash heard several voices raise in an incoherent cacophony.
He jerked his head upwards, nearly falling backwards.
Back up.
Between all the noise as he heard the tell tale whistle of Nai’s knives flying through the air, he briefly glanced back and saw them retreat back into his cloak form in order defend himself from an onslaught of bullets.
Meryl! Roberto! Wolfwood!
His rapidly deteriorating eyesight sought them all out, he saw Roberto his his feet, yelling something at somebody as he seemed to be standing guard over Meryl who was herself trying to rise to her feet.
He couldn’t find Wolfwood and that immediately made him panic-
A tell-tale beam of green energy cut the room near in half with its blinding light.
He was blinking stars out of his vision but he couldn’t be more relieved.
He needed to get up- to join the fray- they were going to need all the help they could get against Nai-
He tried to shift a leg and hissed, nearly toppling over with the effort. A thousand cuts burning for his attention now that the adrenaline and fear had run its course.
That didn’t matter right now! He needed to move! Everybody was at risk with Nai out there-
He gasped and coughed when a warm hand grasped his arm.
“Sorry! Sorry Sweetie!”
He knew that voice-
The hand shifted slightly and a warm arm wrapped around his back and a warm smiling face- Pinched with an amount of worry he hardly saw on on her face- came into his vision.
“Millie?” He gasped out.
She hummed, nodding her head with enthusiasm, “Yeah! It’s me Vash. You doin’ okay?”
He grunted something he intended as a yes, trying to use her supporting arm to help leverage himself up-
“Hey! Hey hey hey, take it easy okay?” Millie said insistently, the worry seeping into her voice now.
Vash’s panic rose.
“I need to help,” He said, getting past the way his chest ached for long enough to speak again, “You- You need help- Nai he-”
Millie shushed him, pulling him closer so that his head fell on her shoulder unintentionally.
“No Sweetie- No we got this. We brought help. You need to rest right now. Can you do that for me?”
Vash shook his head, Millie didn’t understand- they didn’t understand-
“I promise Sweetie, we’re okay, we’re going to be okay-”
Her attention shifted from him for a second to yell something to- to somebody probably- he couldn’t hear it past the rush in his ears and the way his vision was fading despite his best efforts.
“Millie, Millie-! You need to listen!”
“I’m listening Sweetie, but you’re almost bled dry. We need to get YOU out of here.”
Vash shook his head again- No, no, no he lost . Nai was going to kill them-!
“We got them Vash, they’re okay Vash I promise, I promise.”
No, no she didn’t understand-!
A voice hushed him in his ear, and a large warm hand continued to gently rub his back in one of the only places that wasn’t covered in bleeding cuts.
“I promise Vash, I promise.”
He sobbed.
“Just rest for me Vash, okay? Okay? You’re going to be okay I promise.”
He wasn’t sure he’d been okay in a long, long time.
The gentle voice broke slightly, before it returned to soothing, “I know Vash. I know. I know.”
His consciousness faded away under the endless soothing tone.
*
Rem sighed, bending down on her knees, trying to look Vash in the eyes.
He looked away, too angry and too ashamed to make eye contact.
“Vash… Your brother loves you, sometimes he has a hard time saying that, but you have to trust that it’s true.”
“Then why does he hurt me?” Vash said, letting the ugly bubble of anger run freely in his chest as he snapped at Rem.
But when he looked up at her she was smiling sadly.
The bubble popped and turned into shame.
“Sometimes we hurt the ones we love. And it isn’t fair. It shouldn’t happen.”
“Why does it then?” He whined, wiping at his eyes.
Nai was right, he was such a stupid cry baby.
Rem laughed sadly, gently pulling him into a hug. He sobbed into her shoulder.
“I know it hurts, and I’m sorry it hurts Vash. Just try to remember he loves you. Always remember he loves you. Okay?”
*
Vash gasped.
Pain there was so much pain-
Where was he? What was he doing?
NAI.
WHERE WAS NAI-
Something grabbed onto him and he recoiled, running into something hard-
It HURT- it hurt-!
Where was he what was that WHERE WAS NAI-
“VASH!!”
He blinked hard, trying to focus, trying to make something out-
that was his name, somebody was saying his name-
A woman- Rem?
“Vash it’s me, Millie!”
Millie?
He waited out the wave of pain, all of his attention fixed on trying not to pass out-
Nai was still here- Nai was still here he could still kill somebody-
“Vash! Vash! Nai isn’t here! Nai isn’t here Vash!”
Nai wasn’t-
Two warm hands gently hovered over his shoulders, causing him to stutter to a pause.
Slowly, gently they settled, a thumb running circles on his left, right above where his prosthetic started.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay, Nai’s gone for the moment, we scared him off.”
Vash blinked hard.
Nai was gone? Scared off?
Millie was here, she was alive… she didn’t seem worried.
Mille worried a lot about other people. She wouldn’t be so calm if Nai was around.
“That's it Sweetie, there you go, just breathe, okay?”
A deep pain in his chest started to disappear as he followed Millie’s instructions. Trying his best to breathe deeper and slower, in cadence with her verbal cues.
It was harder than normal, his ribs aching with almost every inhale. He felt like he’d been hit by the van. Was this how Wolfwood felt?
The thought of Wolfwood made his breathing hitch painfully, so he pushed it to the side.
Later. That was for later.
“It’s okay Sweetie, you're doing great.”
His vision was coming into focus the more the panic receded. He saw a rough olive green blanket, distorted by the shape of his knees, he saw Millie’s legs, hanging off the side of the bed he was sitting in.
Sunlight fell across his lap and his heavily bandaged right arm. The bandages were pure white, probably recently changed.
Slowly he looked up, meeting Millie’s eyes.
“There we go,” She said, a bright smile spreading across her face.
But- she had bags under her eyes, and her eyebrows were creased deeply.
His heart sank at the sight.
“Oh, oh Vash sweetie what’s wrong?” her smile fell.
He looked away from her face, “I’m, m’sorry for causing you to worry.”
Millie laughed. It was gentle and slightly sad.
“Oh sweetie, no. I’m happy to worry, you know that.”
Vash did know that. She told him a lot. It still didn’t sit right with him.
“How are you feeling Sweetie?”
Vash tried not to grimace at the question.
Physically he was. In pain. Milie probably knew that just by looking at him.
Now that he wasn’t on high alert for Nai he could process every remaining bruise and cut from their duel. It wasn’t the worst pain he’d been in. He doubted he was just sleeping this off. Someone had probably given him some form of pain killer at this point.
He vaguely wondered how long he’d been out of it. Millie’s state didn’t give him many clues. Her eye bags were a familiar sight from whenever anybody in their small party got injured, it could’ve just been a night.
He probably didn’t want an answer to that question. At least. Not now.
He-
Nai-
Nai was gone again.
To who knows where, doing who knows what, for who knows what reason.
Once again, he’d seen his brother. Once again, he failed to stop him.
Why.
Why did Nai keep doing this?
Why couldn’t they just talk? Why did he keep hurting people, why did he keep sending others he hurt to hurt Vash?
Why Nai?
Why?
A hand brushed his cheek and he startled.
Millie looked surprised before smiling apologetically, “Sorry- sorry, you’re-”
She paused, considering her words.
“Vash can I-” She paused, humming again.
He waited, patiently, all of his focus on her.
He- he didn’t want to think about Nai anymore. He didn’t want to think about Wolfwood. He didn’t want to think about the corpses upon corpses that’s blood coated his hands-
Millie’s face saddened deeply.
“Oh Vash.”
She telegraphed her movements as she reached forward, slowly circling her arm behind his back and reaching the other around his left shoulder behind his head.
And slowly she pulled him forward, settling his head against her shoulder.
“Oh Sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
Vash froze.
He-
He couldn’t-
He didn’t-
No-
A large, warm, gentle hand rubbed up and down his back, the motion careful, running over layers upon layers of bandaging.
An equally warm hand kept a firm hold on the back of his head, refusing to relent in holding him close.
“I’m so sorry Vash. I bet that was terrifying, and heartbreaking, huh?”
Something in Vash shattered.
His right hand flew up to clutch and Millie’s shirt, grasping onto it like a lifeline, fingernails digging into the fabric until he felt them against his own palm.
His left arm didn’t move at all but he barely noticed with the overwhelming build of emotion forming in his throat.
He sobbed.
He choked.
He screamed.
Millie’s hands didn’t move away from him.
He had been so scared. So so scared. Meryl was almost killed on his behalf. ALL OF THEM were almost killed because he’d been so stupid. So so stupid to hope, to dare, to try to be close to others, to try to fill the void in his heart that Nai had left hundreds of years ago-
He was an idiot, he was just as foolish and naive as Nai said.
And it was heartbreaking. After all these years, every time he tried, every time he faced Nai-
And still, still, Nai walked away.
Turned his back and threw Vash into the dirt.
Like he didn’t matter.
Like he never cared.
And Vash ached.
Had Nai never cared? Had it always been an act? Was all the time they spent growing and laughing together just another game to him? Was Vash just some toy he found entertaining? Or an eternal playmate who never had the chance to say yes or no to his games?
Did Nai ever love him?
Because Vash had.
Vash had loved him with every fiber of his being. He still did. Every day of his life he loved him. He loved him so much.
And it hurt.
It hurt so much.
He screamed again.
He couldn’t understand what she was saying, but he heard Millie’s voice float near his ear somewhere, and felt her voice rumble through her chest.
He sobbed harder. He couldn’t pull away if he wanted too. Millie was already strong, and he was very, very weak.
And he knew Millie wouldn’t let him go.
After everything she wouldn’t let him go.
She’d seen what Nai could do.
What he did.
And she was still here.
Still sitting by this Humanoid Typhoon.
What did he do?
Why were these people still here? Still beside him? After all this time?
After all the horrors and the bloodshed and the pain?
He was used to being cast aside. He understood. He didn’t hold it against them.
So Why?
Why were these people so different?
He didn't understand. He didn’t understand.
“I-” He gasped for air, not bothering to raise his head from Millie’s shoulder, “I don’t understand.”
“Understand what, Sweetie?” Millie asked.
He could hear in her voice that she’d been crying too. His chest ached with guilt but he pressed forward.
“Why are you still here? After everything I- I wouldn’t blame you if you left.” he said, his heart falling to pieces.
But he had to say it, he had to say it.
“Nai could kill you, you could die, just because you know me. Just because you don’t leave. Why? Why do you stay? Why don’t you hate me too?”
Why don’t you hate me like all the rest of them do?
Millie chuckled, it was wet, and she sounded sad, but there was something else-
“Vash, Sweetie, we love you. That’s all there is to it.”
Was that it?
Rem smiled at him, pushing his hair back behind his ear, “Because you love him. I know its easy to be angry. But I think you will find in your heart the way to forgive.”
Oh.
“We don’t care if it hurts us, because we love you more.”
Oh.
In his minds eye he saw Nai. Nai when he was still young, and short, and the two of them would hide in the control room to scare Rem. Nai when he would scoff at Vash’s fantasies only to see if they were physically plausible. Nai when he found Vash, sitting in his room, crying on his bed, and walked up to sit with him.
I’m sorry Vash. I won’t do it again. Promise.
In his minds eye he saw the Nai he remembered… and next to him he saw Meryl.
And Roberto.
And Millie.
And Wolfwood.
Oh.
They loved him. The same way he loved Nai.
Oh.
He-
“Oh, shhh, shhh Sweetie, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”
He wasn’t sure why he was crying harder. Something in him seemed to be broken open, like a pipe somebody took a crowbar too.
He tried to open his mouth to apologize to Millie but all that came out was a sob.
“It’s okay, Vash. It’s okay. I’m content to sit with you until you’re done.”
He sobbed harder.
He didn’t think he’d cried this hard or this long in a long, long time.
But-
But for once something inside him was warm. Jagged and fragile, and warm.
*
He lost track of time as he let himself just keep crying on Millie.
He’d have to apologize to her later, he was probably soaking her shirt, but she didn’t make a move to leave, or change positions. No. She seemed happy. Happy to just sit there and hold him.
A mix of guilt and gratitude swam in his stomach and he decided to settle on the latter out of respect for Millie.
He trusted her.
Moons knew he’d seen her speak her mind to many individuals before, she wouldn’t have an issue politely chewing him out if he did something out of line.
So he let himself just exist, feeling worn and empty in ways he was intimately familiar with. But also surprisingly whole.
It was nice.
He stiffened.
The sound of heavy boot fall echoed up to the room. Booming rapidly to meet his ear drums. His sense rocketed on high alert, attempting to pull away from Millie to reach for-
“Oh! Oh dear that sounds like-” Millie started.
The door was abruptly (and loudly) thrown open and a disheveled and distraught Roberto stood where it had once remained closed.
Vash’s high alert began to dissipate immediately. Being replaced by relief which melted the stiffness in his posture and caused him to sag forward.
Meryl was right behind Roberto, peering anxiously around her peer’s battered jacket to try her best to see into the room. And further past them he could see-
Wolfwood.
Relief battled with a torrent of emotions at seeing him-
“Millie is everything alright?!” Roberto burst out, more panicked than Vash had ever heard him in his life.
Which felt impressive given how often he kept Meryl from getting shot-
Millie laughed, “Yes, Uncle.”
“The lady at the desk heard screaming-”
Vash flinched at that.
Oops.
“Vash, are you okay?!” Meryl shouted around Roberto, still trying to get a better view into the room.
Vash saw Wolfwood lean in more out of the corner of his eye at Meryl’s question.
Vash opened his mouth to reassure but Millie beat him to it.
“He’s doing alright, sorry about the noise!”
Roberto seemed to deflate a little and Meryl finally shoved past him into the room.
Vash felt the guilt bubbling up again as he saw the large white bandage plastered on her face.
“Vash!” She said, open relief clear on her face, “Vash you’re awake!”
He nodded numbly, a small smile sliding across his face.
“Yeah, I’m awake.” he said, pulling the smile a little harder, before letting it drop, “Are all of you okay?”
There was a silence so complete you could hear a pin drop.
“Good grief kid.” Roberto said, slapping a palm across his face with a strained laugh.
“Vash, I care very deeply about you,” Meryl said slowly.
Vash nodded, ignoring the way that made his heart warm the same way it had earlier with Millie.
Also because Meryl didn’t seem finished...
“But if you ask if I’m okay one more time in the next week without there being extenuating circumstances that make that question completely, and entirely, fair and understandable, I will punch you in the face.”
Vash drew back slightly from the amount of fierce venom contained in that declaration-
“Ah, ah-ah-” He chuckled nervously, unsure exactly what he did to tick off Meryl so badly.
“Kid, you were probably about two minutes from reaching critical blood loss by the time Millie got you to any kind of ER.” Roberto said dryly.
Vash’s blood ran cold.
“O-oh.”
He- He hadn’t-… Nai had… Nai had hurt him a lot. He hadn’t really thought about the… the after.
Nai never killed him. It was almost like an unspoken rule. A Mutual agreement. Nai would and could kill anybody else.
But not Vash.
Had this time been different.. or…
This was the first time that people had shown up to save him…
“Oh.” he said.
What, what did he say to that?
Thankfully nobody pressed him for a better answer.
Meryl sucked in a sharp breathe and Vash’s head shot up to stare.
OH-
Oh Meryl was definitely crying now-
Oh no what did he do wrong?
He raised his one working arm, unsure even what he was trying to do with it, something? Anything? Meryl didn’t really cry a lot so this was strange territory and it sounds like it was probably his fault so how could he fix it-
Meryl rubbed her sleeve across her face, her eyebrows descending and her expression becoming resolute.
She marched up to Vash and he found himself instinctively leaning back-
But Millie’s hand was still on his back so he couldn’t really lean back that much-
Meryl’s arms reached up and wrapped around him as she buried her face in his shirt.
Oh.
His good arm slowly, carefully, as if he was handling glass-
Meryl was by no means fragile, he just hadn’t- he hadn’t-
It’d been a long time since he’d really hugged somebody.
Well he just did with Millie a second ago but he wasn’t thinking about it then.
But-
Slowly he placed his hand on her back and began rubbing up and down the way Millie had.
The way Rem used to.
He felt the tears coming back to his eyes and he tried to blink them away.
“I’m okay Meryl,” He said shakily, unable to control the tears as one slowly slid down his cheek, “I’m okay, I promise.”
Meryl half sobbed half laughed in his shirt, “You better be, I still gotta prove you innocent.”
Vash chuckled wetly in response.
Roberto walked over, settling on the edge of the bed on Vash’s left and gently reached out, cupping Vash’s head and pulling it down into the crook of his shoulder.
“You really scared us there kid, we thought that might've been the last of you.”
Vash blinked through more tears, marveling at Roberto’s gentle tone. It was strained with worry and relief in tandem and carried a softness to it that undermined the scolding words he used.
Unsure how to process all this, he found his eyes making contact with Millie’s. She’d let Roberto pull him away from her, letting her supporting hand slide from his back to his right shoulder.
The moment she caught his gaze she smiled softly, something knowing in her gaze. She gently rubbed his arm.
“We know you’re a scrapper, but you don’t need to prove anything to us, ‘kay?”
We love you, no matter what.
Vash nodded numbly, the warmth in his chest growing, and growing.
And for a couple of minutes they just stayed that way. He felt so warm, and so- different.
It’d been so long since he’d felt this warm.
This.
Loved.
Sighing long and hard Meryl drew back.
Vash’s worry and fear spiked. Had he done something wrong? He didn’t want Meryl to leave- not yet- he’d like to stay this way forever actually-
She gave him a small smile before it melted into a deadpan frown as she turned to stare at the doorway.
“There's no easy way to do this so the band aid's coming off. Wolfwood, get in here. Stop sulking in the hallway.”
He heard a choked noise which turned into a grumble.
Wolfwood entered the room slowly, making brief eye contact with everybody except Vash. He looked at the floor instead.
Despite the mix of emotions he felt crashing through his core upon seeing Wolfwood again he found himself looking him over for injuries.
Wolfwood seemed fine. He spotted a swath of bandages on his left hand, a band aid was slapped on his jaw, some more bandages were slightly visible underneath the collar of his shirt, but he had walked in steadily enough and didn’t seem to be in any visible pain.
Relief flooded his veins, temporarily silencing the other emotions warring in him.
He was okay.
Vash felt what remaining tension he was carrying dissipate.
It didn’t matter how Wolfwood felt about him, or how Vash felt about Wolfwood.
Right now, Wolfwood was okay.
“Right, so. Um.”
Wolfwood shifted awkwardly on his feet. It reminded Vash of a little kid in ways that were very, very uncharacteristic of the snarky undertaker.
Vash waited with baited breath. Catching every little movement as Wolfwood sorted through what was going through his head.
The suspense was almost as choking as the damage to his ribs.
“I’m sorry.” he said quietly.
Vash sucked in a quiet, sharp breath.
“I’m sorry.” He said again, louder and with more certainty, “After everything, you… all of you, did for me. Watching my back, and… and all that. I betrayed you.”
Wolfwood bit his lip.
“I came clean to… well, everybody here, except you Nee- Vash. But um. Knives sent me as a plant.”
It wasn’t surprising information. But it hurt all the same.
Nai… why?
The normally confident man crossed his arms tightly, looking almost as though he was hugging himself as he stared intently at the ground.
“My job was to buddy up to all of you. He- He wanted me to break you. To break you, Vash.”
Vash’s heart sank.
He had thought about why, even pretty much guessed as much, but hearing it confirmed was…
“He needed you to break, for some reason. He didn’t explain why to me, I- I’m sorry. I should’ve kicked him to the curb instead of turning on you like that.”
Silence fell.
Vash looked at him closely.
For once, Wolfwood had forgone his typical shades. His eyes were bare. They stared at the ground, unfocused, his eyebrows creased.
His shoulders were curved inward, and his torso bent forwards ever so slightly, making him look small. Smaller than Vash had ever seen him.
An image flashed in his eyes of Nai standing over him. The Nai of the now, with his cruel blades and his cruel smile. The air echoing with laughter as he ordered this young man off to do his bidding without a choice in the matter.
Something in Vash twisted.
“What would’ve happened to you? If you’d stood up to Nai, I mean.” he asked.
He knew the answer… he already knew.
Wolfwood finally looked up, startled eyes finally making contact with Vash’s.
They were watery, and somewhat red.
Had… had Wolfwood been worried too?
“...He woulda killed me probably.”
Vash’s heart sank, breaking eye contact first to look at the floor.
Of course.
“But I should’ve done it anyways.”
What?
He stared back up at Wolfwood.
Something in his eyes had hardened, but for once it wasn’t cold and cutting, hopeless and dry as a desert.
“After all this time, I finally found something worth dying for.” He said slowly, a weight to each word carried in his tone, “I’m gonna die someday anyways, better to have been for that than… than for him.”
Oh.
The warmth came rushing back into his veins just as quickly as it had left, even if it was tainted by the sadness that came with Wolfwood’s cynical view of himself.
But that conversation could wait for another day. Right now he was glad.
Right now he saw the man he had met all that time ago in that worm.
A man full of kindness.
He reached out his good hand and motioned for Wolfwood to come closer.
Wolfwood looked confused but slowly made his way over. Vash had to gently pat Meryl on the shoulder to get her to scoot to the side and out of the way. Which she did, but not without grumbling a little bit.
He appreciated the sentiment, but to be fair, despite everything Wolfwood never actually shot any of them.
Not even once.
Wolfwood reached the edge of the bed and stopped, looking more awkward and out of place than Vash had ever seen him.
He withheld the desire to laugh bubbling in his core, it was important that Wolfwood understood.
Vash kept motioning for him to come in closer.
His visible confusion grew but he followed Vash’s instructions and continued to slowly bend down. His expression shifting as if to brace for impact.
Vash didn’t let the way that made his gut twist with sorrow and guilt run across his face, but he held onto it, he’d need it soon.
When Wolfwood was pretty much at face level with Vash, he reached up and wrapped his good arm around the undertaker’s shoulders in a fierce embrace.
He felt Wolfwood stiffen like a board underneath his arm, but just like Millie he didn’t let up, just started rubbing at his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Vash whispered, releasing the regret and sorrow and guilt he felt into those words.
“I'm sorry about what Nai has done to you. It should’ve never happened. He shouldn’t have forced your hand, he shouldn’t have made you into a weapon for him.”
He heard Wolfwood’s breathing hitch, but the undertaker remained motionless.
“And thank you.” he said, letting a smile creep onto his face.
A choked noise, confused.
“Thank you for being my friend, and for protecting everybody.” His voice was filling with emotion and he could feel the tears building up again, even as he tried to hold it together for Wolfwood.
“I’m so grateful I met you, and that you’re alive and with us, okay?”
Wolfwood remained silent. Vash continued.
“I forgive you.” He emphasized his statement with a gentle squeeze to Wolfwood’s shoulder.
“I hope you’re okay still calling me Needle Noggin?”
Wolfwood made a noise that was half snort, half sob, half chuckle- wait that was too many halves-
His voice was hoarse and ragged, and so full of emotion.
“Moons - Needle Noggin this was supposed to be my apology not yours.”
Vash laughed.
It hurt his ribs, it hurt almost every single inch of skin he had on his body.
Wolfwood’s arms came up to return the embrace Vash started, his hands grasping at Vash’s shirt like a drowning man.
“I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” he choked out between desperate breaths, “I promise I’ll make it up to you all, I promise-”
And maybe Vash was crying too at this point as he kept chuckling and rubbing Wolfwood’s shoulder.
As Millie scooted in closer and added one arm to Vash and the other to Wolfwood.
As Meryl reached under Millie’s arm to put a hand on Vash’s arm and her other hand on Wolfwood’s shoulder.
As Roberto huffed fondly and wrapped his arm around Vash’s back and placed a gentle palm on Wolfwood’s head.
“I love all of you,” Vash whispered, “I love all of you so much.”