Chapter Text
It was that time of year again - a time for joy and a time for cheer, if the squeaky chipmunks singing on the radio were anything to go by. Sammy hummed along with the song as she worked in her apartment's kitchen, cutting up small blocks of cheese and chunks of sausage to fill the Christmas-themed finger foods tray she had fished from the bottom drawer. It was a sort of small tradition she and her family had once taken part in during the holidays, back when she was still on speaking terms with them. And though she had cut them out of her life, she was dead set on carrying on this yearly custom as best she could, with whom she could.
The tray was sectioned off into five different parts, each with its own dedicated Christmas character - Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, an elf, a reindeer, and a snowman, the usual things you'd see - and Sammy piled a variety of snacks into each one. Cheese, sausages, crackers, grapes, and store-bought chocolates soon filled the entire tray, and once she was satisfied with its presentation she covered it with the lid and set it aside.
The next part of the tradition came in the form of steaming hot chocolate, though given that recipe ingredients were expensive, Sammy settled for the quick-to-make Kim Hortons variety. The marshmallows were bought separately, so that she could say she at least added something to it, but she was sure that the instant stuff wasn't going to be a problem.
"Movie's ready!" came the chipper cry of Ella from the living room. "Are you finished with our snacks yet?"
Sammy leaned backwards to see her girlfriend plopping herself onto the couch, already wrapped up in her warm, Christmas tree-patterned quilt. Snow, who had been curled up on top of the couch's back, meowed at the jostling before losing interest and going right back to sleep. "Just about!" Sammy told her. "It's, uh, it's nothing all that special, but-"
"Stop, I love it already," Ella interrupted, her grin wide.
Sammy faltered just slightly. "But you haven't even seen-"
"Don't care! Love it anyway."
Exasperated yet amused, Sammy sighed affectionately. "Oh my god, you're impossible."
First, she brought the hot chocolate out, setting one mug on one side of the coffee table and handing the other to Ella's greedy little outstretched hands. Sammy retrieved the tray next, and delicately placed it in the center of the table and in front of Ella's laptop before revealing its contents. "It's simple, I know, but it's tradition."
"Aww! It's adorable, is what it is," Ella replied, and took one of the two toothpicks to stab at a cheese block. With a giggle she said, "This makes me feel like we're at a fancy wine and cheese party."
Rolling her eyes, Sammy hopped under the blanket when Ella invited her in. "Right, what better way to attend a wine and cheese party than in our pyjamas?"
"That could be a thing!" Ella said between bites. "All the ambiance of high class society and sophistication, except everyone's wearing slippers and at least one person's in a onesie. Buttflap and everything."
"Oh, I would pay to see that."
Ella started the movie up after that - Russell the Red-Nosed Reindeer from the 60s, a classic Sammy hadn't seen in at least a decade. Amy always hated the stop-motion style of animated movies, and would whine whenever their mom would put it on, so eventually she just stopped playing it. And now, it was another thing Sammy was able to reclaim from her old life.
Truthfully, it was Ella's idea to watch it. Her family traditions for the holiday season involved watching several of the old classic films, such as this one, A Charli White Christmas, and How the Finch Stole Christmas. The blanket they shared was also from her family, where they would all bundle up and watch them all together.
Sammy found that binging movies was difficult for her fragile attention span in the long run, but considering this was for her girlfriend she decided to bite the bullet. Besides, with Jasmine and Shawn in Australia for Christmas, and Sky and Dave on a trip to India, it wasn't like they would be going anywhere as a group, so movies at home it was.
The snacks were devoured in less than 10 minutes, and the hot chocolate a little after 15, but Sammy wasn't feeling the need to rise and replace them as she was far too comfortable snuggling with Ella as they watched the elves sing and make toys for the children of the world. Ella, of course, knew every single song by heart, and joined with them only to overshadow them in every conceivable way. Her singing always made Sammy's heart flutter, and it reminded her of how amazing tomorrow was going to be.
Soon Russell saved Christmas, and they switched over to watch The Finch steal it back. This was one Sammy was less familiar with, but she at the very least knew that he became a better person by the end of it, something that she could respect. "I wish everyone had that level of Christmas spirit," Sammy off-handedly mentioned as The Finch's heart grew three sizes that day. "I went to the grocery store over the weekend, and I actually saw two people fighting over a turkey. Like, literally tug of war style. Is a turkey really worth it?"
"To some people, yeah," Ella replied, closing out of the film. "Family gatherings are big for certain people, and the meals add a ton to that."
"Hm. Well."
"Ah- Shoot, I'm sorry."
"It's fine." She chuckled. "I prefer smaller gatherings with my GF to large ones with people I barely know anyway."
Ella smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Just what I wanted to hear."
Once Charli White was about to start, Sammy asked if it was okay to take a break, to which Ella readily agreed to. It was during this break that the tray was refilled, the bathroom was used, Snow was petted, and something unexpected occurred.
"Okay, so," Ella announced, stepping out of their shared bedroom with her hands behind her back.
"What's up?" Sammy asked, running a hand through Snow's white fur.
Ella's grin was contagious, and just like every time she was excited for something she shone like a lighthouse leading Sammy to shore. "This isn't something I've done before, but now that we're dating I kinda wanted to give it a shot."
Sammy found herself intrigued, though she had no clue what it could be about. "Oookay. What is it?
"So, as you know, my mom's side of the family is from Japan. And in Japan, Christmas Eve is a liiittle bit different than here. It's more focused on love and romance, more so than it would be in the west, and some people consider it to be an even bigger holiday than Valentine's Day."
This was news to Sammy. "Really? Oh, wow, I didn't know that."
"That's okay!" Ella jumped onto the couch (accidentally startling Snow away in the process) and revealed a wrapped present in her hands, perhaps the size of a shoebox. "I wanted this to be a surprise, anyway. So here! An early Christmas gift, from me to you."
Suddenly flooded with unexpected emotions, Sammy slowly and carefully took the present from her partner. It was wrapped almost perfectly, so much better than what Sammy's gifts to Ella ended up looking like. Terrified of ruining her hard work, she methodically took apart the paper as gently as she could, and though it took a little bit, Ella waited patiently, despite wiggling in excitement. At last, Sammy saw that the present was a shoebox, but she recognized it as what the running shoes she bought last summer came in.
"It's inside," Ella explained in a stage whisper when she saw her confused face.
"Oh!" Quickly flipping the lid, Sammy was presented with another box, and this time it was smaller, flatter, and clearly the kind that would normally hold jewelry of some sort.
She gasped involuntarily, and she gingerly picked up the new box. Untying the beautiful bow that sat atop it, Sammy opened it up, and felt herself unable to breathe upon seeing the necklace inside. It wasn't a designer piece that would be priced at over $500, but it was still stunning, and it looked to be made out of some silvery metal and was adorned with a beautiful pendant in the shape of a dazzling star.
Sammy gawked at it, and held it up to get a better look. It was absolutely breathtaking, and practically shimmered in the lights coming from their small Christmas tree. She had known Ella for roughly two years, and in that time she never really seemed to have an interest in jewelry to this scale. She wore earrings, sure, but that was the pretty, yet cheap stuff. So it was a genuine surprise that she'd give Sammy something like this.
"Oh, Ella," Sammy breathed, at a total loss of words. "It's… OMG, it's gorgeous! I love it!"
Ella sighed, out of relief or emotion Sammy wasn't sure. "I'm so happy to hear that! I, ah, had this custom-ordered, actually."
"Really? What did you-" And it was only as the star was turning as it dangled from her hand that she saw it had words carved into it. On one side was her name, SAMMY, in all capital letters. And as the back slowly came into view, she gasped even deeper than before.
"My Everything," she read aloud, and found herself completely overcome with sheer joy and love. "Oh my-" she attempted to say, only for her to cut it off when it threatened to turn into a sob. "Ohhh my god."
"Pretty good gift, I take it?" Ella asked lightly with a cheeky grin.
"Better than good!" Sammy said, lightly shoving her. "Better than great! This- This is probably, literally the best gift I've ever been given. Like. Holy crap. I don't even…"
Ella's eyes continued to glow, and she took Sammy's free hand and squeezed it. Sammy wasted no time in squeezing back. "Good! That's… That's good. I, um, I wanted our first Christmas together to be special and memorable and…" A giggle escaped from her. "By the sounds of it, I think I accomplished that."
"You so accomplished that," Sammy said, gingerly wiping at her eyelids with her thumb before anything ruined her makeup. "I thought just hanging out and watching movies was going to be memorable. But this? This totally makes this one of the best days of my life. No question about it."
"Aww," Ella cooed, placing a hand on her chest. "That means the world to me, you know?"
Sammy looked up at her, saw the warmth and the love in her eyes, and pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I know," she said, pressing their foreheads together. "Thank you. So much."
The two spent a few moments simply being in each others' presence, at least until Snow returned and jumped up on Sammy's lap. "And we can't forget about you, can we?" Ella asked the cat, scratching a finger on her head. "You'll get your gifts tomorrow, okay?"
Snow meowed her appreciation, and it was enough of a distraction from the intimate moment that Sammy realized something. "Oh, crap."
"What's wrong?" Ella asked.
"I-" She stood, dumping Snow into Ella's lap, and started for their bedroom. "I, uh, I have something for you too!"
Surprise flashed on Ella's face, though just as quickly a knowing smile replaced it. "Oh! Well, alright then. We'll just wait here for it, in that case."
Sammy gave her a grin, and as soon as the bedroom door closed started panicking. "Ohhh crap, crap, crap, what the heck do I give her?" She hauled the box containing the five gifts she had procured out from under the bed (there was an understanding between them that they would not be sneaking glances at each others' presents, even though Ella kept jokingly threatening to do so) and hastily looked through them. Whatever she was about to give to Ella, it had to hold the exact same emotional weight as the necklace did, which meant that this was a very important decision to make.
Sifting through the box's contents, Sammy easily set aside the pink fluffy sweater and the most recently released on Blu-way Gisney movie, as they were store-bought and had admittedly little thought put into their purchases. After a bit of consideration, the assortment of pretty pink nail polish Sky recommended was eliminated as well, as that had never been the biggest gift either way.
That just left the last two, and Sammy held both in either hand. The present in her left hand was a framed photo of the two of them, specifically of a selfie taken when they had gone to Gisney World down in Florida over the summer after winning a radio contest. It was a stressful few days of making sure all of their arrangements were in working order, and it was hot as heck to boot, but the both of them had never enjoyed themselves as much as they did then. It held a special place in Sammy's heart, and she knew it did in Ella's too. Having it commemorated was an easy decision to make, and spoke volumes of how much Sammy valued their time together.
The present in her right hand, however…
Her heart sped up just looking at it, remembering all the work that went into it, imagining how Ella would react upon seeing it. There was no doubt in her mind - this was the gift that Sammy needed to give to her. It would unfortunately not align with Christmas Day as planned and would thus prove to Ella that she really only came up with the choice to give it to her now on the spot, but…
Sammy's grin widened immeasurably. "It's worth it."
She shoved everything else back under the bed, and slowly made her way out of the room. Ella hadn't moved from the couch, and was gently petting Snow as she laid on her lap. Looking up, her eyes shone, and Sammy was reminded not for the first time of why she fell in love with this girl.
"Um." Sammy cleared her throat as eloquently as she could. "So, uh… I got you a gift too?" Wishing she had worded that better, she nonetheless whipped out the shoddily-wrapped present. "M-Merry Christmas!"
It ought to have elicited a rather neutral response, but she knew that Ella never did anything in half measures, and she gasped excitedly at the sight of the gift. "Ah! Thank you very much!" She took it and unwrapped it just as tenderly as Sammy had done to hers, which she was now regretting having done because her nerves were eating her alive.
But then she reached the gift itself, and she stopped to take it in. "It's…" She flipped it over and back again, and she blinked rapidly in curiosity. "…a blank CD case?"
"Ah, well-" Sammy giggled lightly, and leaned in for a stage whisper. "It's inside."
Ella gave her an amused glare. "Cute." And without much ceremony, she opened the case up. Inside, exactly where Sammy had put it, was a CD. A CD without any logos on it, without any company mass-producing it. That CD was one of a kind, and it was immediately obvious why.
"To Ella," she read aloud, eyes wide in genuine surprise. "With All Of My Heart."
Sammy quickly gestured to Ella's laptop, which had since gone into sleep mode once the movie had paused. "Go on, put it in!"
She wasted no time in doing so. It took a few moments to properly load up, and those few seconds filled Sammy with a new variety of dread she had never experienced before. But then the media player window popped up, and a video began.
"Is- Is it on?" Sammy heard herself ask. Next to her on the couch, Ella took a sharp breath. "Is- Oh! Okay, cool."
Then, the Sammy in the video walked into view and sat down onto a chair. The video had been taken from the living room, and Snow could be seen lying lazily in the background. Sammy recalled the day that this was recorded, one where Ella stayed at the on-campus library late into the night to work on her last project of the semester, which gave Sammy free reign of the apartment for the evening to set the plan into motion.
On the screen, Sammy grinned. "Uh… Hi, Ella! Merry Christmas! Hopefully it's, ah, snowing there today."
It was not, sadly. "Maybe tomorrow," Sammy whispered to Ella, though her focus was solely on the video.
"So! Um." Past Sammy fiddled with her hands as she thought over her script. "It has been… 314 days since we started dating. And, it's also been 622 days since the day we first met. But, I mean, who's counting, right?" She laughed awkwardly, and Present Sammy had to turn away to hide her embarrassment at saying such a line.
"Is that true?" Ella asked, sounding astonished. Sammy nodded, but put a finger to her lips.
"I remember that day really well, actually. This was back when you were rooming with Sky, and I was going over to your place to meet up with her so we could go work out at the gym together. You didn't hear me knocking, but Sky had told me to come on in, so I stepped inside thinking it was okay, only to see you-" She giggled lightly, and scratched at the back of her head as her face turned a bright shade of red, "-only to see you dancing and singing around the place with no pants on, totally oblivious to me being there."
Ella burst out laughing at that memory, but Sammy quickly shushed her again so she could keep listening.
Past Sammy paused for a moment, and looked down at her feet. "Do you, ah… remember the song you were listening to? At the time? Because I do. Falling for U by Peachy and mxmtoon. It's… sort of ingrained into my head at this point. And it's a song I heavily associate with you, and the first time we met, and… well, the moment I realized I'd fallen for you, too. And, obviously, I know you love to sing and dance and play music and it's just… Um… You have such a beautiful, vibrant view of the world. You make me feel so happy whenever you're around. You helped pick me up when I was basically at my lowest, and showed me so much love and joy, and I…"
She took a deep breath, reached down to the ground off-screen, and pulled up Ella's acoustic guitar.
"And I wanted to give it back to you, as best I can."
Ella's hands shot to her mouth, and turned to Sammy. "Wait… Huh? But- When did-"
Once more, Sammy quietly shushed her.
Then the music began.
The notes were a little sloppy, as Sammy really only gave herself two months to learn how to properly play a guitar, and she could feel herself cringing the moment she heard the first chord.
But stealing a quick glance to her left showed that Ella was positively enraptured from the outset, and that was the part that truly mattered.
"I was hangin' with you, and then I realized
"I didn't think it was true, I was surprised
"When I found out I'd fallen for you…
"I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you
"I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you
"If I told you just how I felt…
"But I can't help it, I'm falling for you
"And I can't quit it, 'cause I'm stuck on you
"And it might be pathetic and you might be skeptical
"But I just want to be with you
"Please tell me, girl, can you get a clue?
"Or come through, 'cause I just want to be with you
"I'm scared… of telling you how I feel
"Maybe it's better… if I just try to conceal the truth
"For me, and for you
"But I'm still stuck on you… oo-oo-ooh… oo-oo-ooh…
"I… I'm still falling for you
"For you…"
Sammy played the last few notes, ended the song a little awkwardly, and rested the guitar back on her lap. "I just wanted to let you know," she said, looking at the camera dead-center, "that… you're my biggest inspiration, Ella. You're… optimistic, intelligent. Charismatic and just… incredible. You're honestly, like… one of the most important people in my life right now. And that's not an exaggeration either, I've got like a grand total of five people I can actually say I'm close with, including you, and- Uh-"
She stopped herself from speaking any more and coughed into her fist. Present Sammy chuckled in sympathy, even though that was herself on the screen. "Sorry, rambling again. So, uh. Anyway! From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to say… Thank you. Thank you for coming into my world and changing it for the better."
And shyly, as she brushed her bangs behind her ear, she added, "I love you. And… Merry Christmas."
With that, the video reached its end, having stopped on Sammy giving a large, yet anxious smile at Ella. In the present, Sammy felt her muscles relax, knowing that it was over and that she did the best she could. Her singing voice sucked, especially compared to her girlfriend's, but she figured as long as it was from the heart it would be okay.
She then sent a glance to her left, and did a double take upon seeing her. "E-Ella?!"
Ella jerked her head towards Sammy in surprise, having clearly been lost in her thoughts, and showed herself to be in an absolute mess. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot, and the makeup-filled tears that were literally flowing down her cheeks were leaving several long, black stains in their wake. Her breathing was shaky and her body shuddered with each one, and in the middle of simply staring at her Ella sniffed loudly before anything could run out of it.
"Oh-" She coughed, and hastily tried to clean her face up with her shirt. "Oh god. Oh m-my god. You- You can't just- When did you-" She looked up again, now looking even worse due to the mascara smudging. "That- That was… Wow."
When it was clear that Ella was just completely taken aback from the performance and not undergoing any actual pain, Sammy found her worries fly away. "'Wow'? Really?" She couldn't help the saucy grin from forming on her lips. "That's all that was worth? Just a simple w-" Ella smacked her on the arm, hard enough to actually hurt. "-ow!?" Sammy yelped, but couldn't stop herself from laughing.
"Shush! You know it was so much more than that, I just- I just- I can't think clearly right now!"
"So… It was good then?"
She received one of Ella's rare looks in response. "Yes, you dummy, it was good! Better than good, it was- It was…" She looked back at the screen, and her breath shuddered once again as she forced herself to calm down a little. "Sammy, that was… really good. Super good. So… So… Agh, I can't think of another word for good right now!" She turned back and threw herself right into her arms. Instinctually, Sammy wrapped her in the biggest bear hug she could manage. "I loved every second of it! You went through all the trouble of learning to play just for me?! When did you even manage to do that?!"
"I snuck in some playing whenever you were gone over the last few months," Sammy admitted. "It was tough! My fingers were dead once I finished recording. But thankfully I got in contact with Beardo and he gave me some pointers-"
"Beardo helped you?!" she interrupted, rising from the hug to look at her in surprise. "No wonder he was always too busy to talk! Ugh, that little doorknob! I had a lot of good song ideas over the last few months, too!"
Sammy couldn't help but laugh heartily at that. Ella had always been the one between them to wear her heart on her sleeve, and Sammy always loved it when she put everything behind her emotions. It made her feel that much more alive. "I'm sorry," Sammy sincerely told her. "I swore him to secrecy. He's probably going to try apologizing first thing tomorrow."
She pouted and blew some loose hair out of her eyes. "Yeah, well, he's going to keep apologizing into the new year, if I have anything to say about it." When she noticed Sammy hesitating to reply to that, she allowed the pout to form into a smirk. "Just kidding, obviously."
Sammy was thankful for the explanation, and wiped her brow in relief. "Oh, whew. Glad I wasn't about to be the cause of that."
"So, whose idea was it then?" Ella asked. "Because, again, oh my god that was so good."
"My idea," Sammy said with pride. "Actually for a long while I'd been wanting to sing for you. Like, not just when we're cleaning the apartment and we break out into broadway duets. I wanted to do something meaningful, to show you how much I appreciate you. And I figured the best way to do that was to, you know, tell you that in your own language or something."
As she spoke, Ella slowly shook her head in amazement. "You're… incredible. You know that?"
Sammy pressed their foreheads together once more. "I might have been told that once or twice."
"Only once or twice?" Ella replied. "That's not nearly enough."
Sammy giggled but didn't say anything, instead opting to just stay where she was. Ella did the same, taking the opportunity to bring herself back down to her normal.
The whole idea had been one she'd first thought of back in September, and had managed to get Beardo's contact info behind Ella's back. Once she told him her plan, Beardo was all for it, and with his knowledge of music he helped her learn how to play a guitar and guide her through the simplest chord progressions that worked best with the song. Seeing as how successful the plan had been, Sammy would have to properly thank him the next chance she got.
Ella sniffed again, and Sammy laughed a little at the noise she made. Groaning and smacking her lightly a second time, Ella removed herself from the couch and headed to the bathroom. "Sorry, I- I need a sec."
"Yeah, of course."
Sammy took some time to admire the necklace she had been gifted, eventually putting it on and sending a selfie to the group chat. As she speed read the explosion of compliments, Ella came back out looking much fresher than before.
"Okay, I'm better now," she announced.
"Your shirt's not, though," Sammy pointed out, gesturing to where it was stained with snot and makeup. "Gonna have to power wash that thing if you want it clean again."
Ella casually looked down at it, pulling at the bottom to see it better, and merely shrugged. "It's fine. It's just one of my pyjama shirts, I'm not wearing it out anywhere important."
Sammy saw the opportunity, and gasped dramatically. "You're not?! But now what will you wear to the wine and cheese party?!"
She could barely keep her own laughter under control as she said that, but Ella likewise doubled over at the callback, so Sammy chalked that up to a success. Managing to stop herself long enough, Ella said with minor difficulty, "I guess that just means I have to break out my onesie!"
Once they managed to fully calm themselves and Ella swapped to another oversized shirt that didn't have her mucus on it, the two sat back down on the couch, Sammy draping her legs over her girlfriend's as she tried to get the third movie back up and running. "You know," Ella started as the film finally began.
"What?"
"I wasn't actually expecting your gift to be more romantic than mine. Especially since I was the one who brought this up and all."
"Oh, well, you know me. I'm just full of surprises!" Sammy said with a grin, taking some pride that she managed to out-romance Ella for once. "This was a really good idea, though. I mean, I was planning on saving the video as your last gift tomorrow, but this was so much more worth it."
Nodding enthusiastically, Ella said, "You're right, it was worth it! We should-" And then she stopped, looked at the movie on her laptop and the tray of finger foods before her, and turned back to Sammy with wide, excited eyes. "We should do this again next year. And the year after."
Her meaning was not lost on Sammy. "You mean… make our own holiday tradition?"
"Yes!" Ella's passion got the better of her again, and she leapt to her feet without warning. Sammy was luckily able to pull her own legs back before she toppled off the couch. "We should give each other our biggest gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day! It could be our own little thing, just between the two of us!"
Sammy was absolutely not opposed to the idea. "Honestly? I love it." She sat up and rubbed her hands together nervously, however. "Though… How about we like, try not to keep one-upping each other every year? I dunno if I want to go all out on a Christmas War or anything."
And then Ella's eyes sparkled brighter than ever. "Oh we are so having a Christmas War."
"Yeah, I was afraid of that." Nonetheless, Sammy accepted her fate without further protest. She'd been used to emotional roller coasters ever since first meeting Ella; she'd be fine continuing the trend.
Now that the gifts had been given and the movie was resuming, Sammy allowed herself to simply be immersed in the festive spirit. It had been a very long time since she had felt so at ease during this part of the year, and she had no intention of letting that feeling slip away.
Once the third and final movie was finished, she and Ella poured themselves another cup of hot chocolate each, and they watched the fireplace crackle and spark on the laptop (she was thankful that the 10 hour long video they found online was ad-free). After a suitably long time, Ella's head bobbed down and then up, and she admitted that she felt rather tired. Sammy could relate, as she felt herself ready to nod off then and there, and with a few yawns the pair began getting ready for bed.
Sammy was soon under the covers and falling asleep, wrapped tightly in Ella's embrace and their legs intertwined together. This was not an uncommon occurrence, especially on the colder days of the year, but something about that particular night made sleeping in the same bed as the woman she was head over heels for that much more fulfilling.
"Psst," Ella whispered out of the blue, rousing Sammy just slightly from her half-asleep state.
"Mm…?"
She received a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, too."
Sammy in turn pulled Ella closer to her as much as she was physically able. A small part of her wished the morning would never come and they could stay like this forever, but as enticing as that sounded her mind drifted back to the necklace she had been given, and Sammy knew there was something that needed to be done.
Ella's birthday is in a few months… And so is Valentine's… Maybe I can make us match…