Chapter Text
You dragged me down to a hole so deep.
I’m crawling out on my hands and knees.
The end of me – Billy Talent
The difference between honesty and lies fizzled as time ran its course. And yet, he wondered if other creatures had similar worries. The universe answered him a resounding no , as this black cat kept purring and drying its fur against his chest. As cute as this distraction reminded him of the warmth of home, Danny forced himself to return to the urgent matters at hand.
He wasn’t sure what day of the week was, nights and days blended together and the concept of time was out of his grasp. It didn’t help that Gotham seemed to be in a perpetual raining season. Danny had come to find some strange comfort in the sounds of storms pounding every surface available, despite he had, until not long ago, been afraid of the rain.
He let his fingers run in the fur of his new friend, as he tried to remember all the details of the last time he’d been with Jaz. The cold sensation came to the forefront in his memories, as he remembered the beginning of December. Yes, December 10th. He and Jazz were finishing touches in the Christmas tree, when it all came down.
“I know you’re deep down still a little Grinch, but I truly don’t care. You and I are having a proper Christmas. A family Christmas” Jazz gave Danny a soft smile and stopped him on his tracks as he prepared a witty comeback at her. “It’ll be better, since it will be just the two of us”.
Danny was truly grateful his parents were out of town for the holidays. He had given up trying to keep a loving relationship with them. As time passed, he understood that it didn’t matter how much his parents loved him, they would always hate Phantom more. His best shot at keeping Jazz and himself safe was keeping the secret and pretending his dreams weren’t plagued with nightmares of his parents fulfilling their threat of tearing him apart molecule by molecule.
It felt natural to give in to the intrusive thoughts. Jazz, however, always found a way to make him snap out of it. This time, she softly threw at him a box full of Christmas tree décor to clean and place in the tree he had gone out to get for her.
Feeling safe, Danny didn’t give a second thought to going ghost and started to place the ornaments on top of the tree, every now and then stopping to get his sister's approval. He absolutely still didn’t care about Christmas, but he cared for Jazz, and if this meant she was happy, he was going to love Christmas until it hurt his bones.
He didn’t notice how his parents, for the first time in their lives, entered the room in silence.
His memories after that seem blurry.
Trying to remember made him wince in pain.
The black ball of fur snuggled against him, searching for a more comfortable position. Maybe the small cat wasn’t thrilled, feeling Danny’s bones almost piercing his skin. Taking care of this cat seemed to ease his obsession just enough to close his eyes and try to catch some sleep. He maybe couldn’t protect him as he used to, but thinking he was a life savior and the world for this kitten felt like a victory, a small one, but victory nonetheless.
His fragile sleep was interrupted by a metallic crash. He couldn’t see clearly in the darkness, but he knew someone was inside the abandoned building he used as a temporary shelter. He curled deeper into the floor hugging the now alert feline. The cat jumped from him as he barely turned invisible and faded into a humid corner. In another moment, the filth would have icked him, but he truly couldn’t remember the last time he took a bath, felt clean or had a set of clean clothes. Each day hiding in Gotham humanity slipped away from him.
He kept still. He heard the voices and identified a man and a child were inside, searching for a third one according to their conversation. A couple of gunshots led them to the third floor. Danny felt a strange combination of relief and emptiness. Even in brief strokes of light shining in between cracks in the windows, he couldn’t catch a clear glimpse of the vigilantes.
Laying low was his top priority. He had one, and only one goal for the foreseeable future: stay alive. He had promised Jazz they would reunite and she promised that she would find him once it was safe. Jazz was always right, and this time would not be the exception. She would come for him; it didn’t matter in what disgusting corner of the infinite realms or earth he would have to hide. It was just a matter of time. It was his only certainty.
He closed his eyes, letting himself become visible again. He tried to mold himself into the corner and rest. He had not returned to his human form since escaping from Amity Park. He has barely had any meal or water since, and he had the feeling that transforming will kill his human form. His many scars had semi healed in his ghost form, which probably meant the human flesh would still bleed. He tried not to dwell on it, not until Jazz could find him.
His dreams and day to day were all in hold, until Jazz could find him.
Time was paralyzed, until Jazz could find him.
Until Jazz could find him.
His days followed the same routine: Opening his eyes, walking or floating on the 2nd floor of the Gotham clocktower, away from windows, and at dawn, finding a nice corner to try to sleep. He had given up fairly quickly on any sense of normalcy. He was missing man, unable to get a job, to earn money, and he refused to rob anyone. He couldn’t risk blowing his cover returning to his hero routine, not until he finished healing.
That particular topic was one of the many things he constantly pushed to the back of his mind. He usually healed quickly, either in human or ghost form. It was one of the perks of accelerated metabolism and infinite internal production of ectoplasm.
Or at least it had been.
The many scars in his chest, arms and head felt tender, like any stretch could open them again. While he absolutely feared what it would feel to bleed out ectoplasm, he feared more a second death in human form.
Find me. Trust.
A whisper reverberated in the air. He swore he was beginning to lose his mind. The sensation permeated through the walls and a sudden impulse urged him to obey. He heard this voice, but knew it was more of a core translation of some sorts. It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the pleas. All his energy was devoted to surviving and there was not room for more.
Especially now that Danny was becoming blind.