Archive of Our Own

When Eddie called Steve, it was often without warning, and always, without fail, incredibly oblique.

“Are you parents out of town?”

“It’s your late shift tonight, right?”

“I’m parked ‘out back.”

Those were some of his most common lines. Nothing much else, more or less. An instruction, sometimes worded more like a demand. Those nights tended to be a little more heated. Usually involved a blowjob if Steve was so lucky.

Tonight was a much rarer occasion:

“Wayne’s at work.” 

That was all Eddie had said, his voice low and hesitant and the opposite end of the Family Video desk phone. 

The guy wasn’t often one for inviting hook-ups back to his place; liked to keep his personal life an arms length away from his sordid affairs. Steve was also privy to the fact that Eddie didn’t like to sleep in the trailer much anymore if he could help it; a nugget of information he’d managed to tug out of Dustin one afternoon in exchange for a ride to some dweeby bookstore the next town over.

So it was safe to say Steve was intrigued by the invitation. Enough so that he didn’t even bother to drive home to change clothes after he locked up the video store that evening.

It was 22:04 when Steve pulled into Forest Hills. He only knew that because Wayne usually worked until 22:30, and with travel time that only gave him and Eddie the better half of 45 minutes. They’d have to make this fast. 

He parked outside Max’s place a few pitches away. She always slept over at El’s house on Thursday nights while her Mom worked the night shift at the hospital. No one would ask any questions about why Steve was hanging around Eddie Munson’s place so late that way.

The smell of salt and damp clung to the humid air. It was strong, and a keen reminder that a downpour was fast approaching. Not wanting to be caught outside in it, Steve hurried his way up to the Munson’s porch. 

The light in the main room was already on, a warm orange glow slipping through the gaps of the aged net curtains. Steve didn’t bother knocking, inviting himself into the trailer and immediately being met by the vibrating echo of Eddie’s stereo down the hall.

Steve chanced a look up at the ceiling, and the ridiculous juxtaposition of fresh paint and panelling there, set against the weary circa-65 style of the rest of the trailer. 

It should have been easier to just move house after Chrissy Cunningham’s death ripped a gate right above Eddie and his Uncle Wayne’s living room. But the powers that held the Monopoly on Hawkins real estate were not kind souls. Their unjustified hatred for Eddie’s name outweighed the ample price the US Government was willing to pay to appease the Munson's for their troubles. 

With nowhere else to go, Eddie and his Uncle were quite literally tethered to their trailer park home, and no amount of fresh paint was going to take away the memories that still haunted the place. 

Eddie’s bedroom door was already open, and Steve watched him silently from the end of the hall. He was cleaning his room, rather frantically so. It was sort of cute, Steve supposed. 

After hastily tossing one last crumpled T-Shirt underneath the bed, Eddie seemed to finally acknowledge Steve, hollering down the hall over his music, 

“Manowar. 1984.” He waved his hands, gesturing to the thundering noise of which Steve had no other words to describe. 

“They broke the World Record for loudest concert ever heard.” Eddie explained, only needing to take a couple of large steps down the hall before he had closed in on Steve,

“Over 129 decibels!” He buzzed, vibrating with his usual giddiness, “But they claim they were even louder than that.” 

“I can believe it.” Steve struggled to hide his grimace, feeling his struggling eardrums begin to ache from the strain. 

Eddie’s eyes shot wide for a brief second before he darted back into the bedroom, turning down the stereo to a respectable volume. 

“How was work?” He smiled apologetically when Steve finally followed him, ears safe from any further assault. 

“Everyone and their Nana is clambering for a copy of Top Gun now that it’s on tape.” Steve sighed, slumping down onto the bed with very little grace, “So about as well as you might imagine.” 

He shrugged off his work vest, taking care to remove the name tag from the pocket and placing it safely on Eddie’s bedside dresser. 

“I hear the Dairy Queen off the 70 is hiring?” Eddie hummed, not particularly paying Steve any mind as he rummaged through the pockets of his backpack. 

He did that a lot. Ignoring Steve. 

It was hard not to take it personally, especially when it came from the guy who was so animated in every aspect of his life, including his relationships with other people. It never used to be this way, not before they started doing, well, this . 

There was a time when Eddie would look directly into Steve’s eyes as he spoke, an almost haunting intensity about him as if he would physically cease to exist if he did not ingest Steve’s every word.

Steve missed that. In fact it was one of the things that had attracted him to Eddie in the first place. All at once and without a safety net to fall into. It was somewhat painful now, the way they were. As if they were an elderly couple, married for years and fallen out of love. Maybe even like his parents. 

“I’d rather drink acid. Thanks.” Steve sighed, rubbing a weary hand across his face and wondering briefly why he was still bothering to put himself through this.

But he always remembered why. When Eddie would finally look at him, give him one of those real, youthful and delicate smiles, and make Steve feel like he was the only person in the world worth a damn. 

He’d call it love if it wasn’t such a scary word. Steve had been burnt before, and the flames that radiated off Eddie’s bloomed body were more powerful and more dangerous than anything else he had ever known. 

Eddie surely didn’t feel the same way. If he did, he wouldn’t be so insistent in what came next. Clinical, emotionless, and without any acknowledgment of their wasted potential. 

“ Annnd, there you go.” He sang, brandishing a loose collection of papers from his backpack and handing them over. 

Thus came the part of the evening Steve had formally dubbed, ‘The Transaction’. They had decided pretty early on in their whatever-the-fuck-relationship this was that if they were going to be sleeping around with other people, they needed to be safe about it. 

And so Steve and Eddie both promised that they’d go have their balls swabbed and thumb pricked every time they slept with somebody other than one-another. They’d hand over the evidence to prove it, alongside a list of whoever it was that they’d done the nasty with; just in case they felt inclined to throw eggs at said-person’s windows should they end up with a bad case of thrush. 

Frankly it was a miracle that the most progressive thing about Hawkins was its Sexual Health clinic. Not that Steve particularly appreciated being on a first-name basis with the receptionist there. He didn’t doubt that himself and Eddie were solely responsible for keeping the place up-and-running at this point. 

“Alright. Hand it over.” Eddie wiggled his fingers at Steve before holding out his palm, clearly expecting to receive his own set of results to once-over. 

Steve ignored Eddie’s demands, instead looking down at the sheets in front of him, pitifully looking for a distraction. He flipped open the test results, just to save-face and be sure. Clear. Clear. Clear. Clear. 

His hands fumbled over the neatly folded sheet of scrap paper that came alongside it. He could tell there was writing there, but frankly the thought of looking at it made Steve’s stomach twist in a manner anything-but pleasantly. 

He handed the papers back without opening up the list of former victims, something that did not go unnoticed by Eddie. Though Steve wasn’t sure whether or not he had imagined the way Eddie’s eyes fell, or how the swell of his throat bobbed up and down, a quiver of regret. 

With a deep sigh, Steve gave in, screwing up his face as he spoke, 

“I haven’t been for a test.” He said awkwardly, not-quite confident enough to look at Eddie directly.

“Oh. Well…” Eddie tried, clearly a little startled by the admission, “I guess we could use a condom. Or… maybe just, the thighs-“

“I haven’t slept with anybody else since last time.” Steve was fast to cut him off, not particularly in the mood to beat around the bush. 

“Really?”

“Have you?” He challenged, already knowing the answer. 

“I saw Devon Lee the other day.” Eddie shrugged, returning to tidying (or more appropriately, pottering around doing God-knows what). 

“Devon?!” Steve scoffed, hoping his dramatised disgust was enough of a performance to hide the real pain in his voice, “Ugh-“

“Jealous?” Eddie raised a brow, only worsening Steve’s mood. 

“He’s an asshole!” He blurted, almost every filter he’d built up immediately crumbling away. 

Eddie’s own mouth snapped shut. He disregarded the tapes he’d been shuffling around, and perched down at the very edge of the bed opposite Steve. 

The air around them grew silent, and Steve wondered for a brief moment if he had offended Eddie. It wasn’t any of his business who the other guy slept with after all, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

But when Steve heard the creak of the mattress shift under him, and he felt Eddie’s hot breath behind his ear, any and all sense of unease was washed away in an instant. 

Eddie’s hand snaked its way up Steve’s chest, and even though it was only over the top of his clothes, Steve still felt a surge rush through him like an electric current had charged his veins. 

His eyes fell closed, basking in the sensation of Eddie’s touch, however small, against him. He craved more, but was far too self-aware of their delicate situation to start begging before they’d even taken off any of their clothes.

Steve merely let Eddie toy with him, taking any ounce of attention he could get. He relaxed his back against Eddie’s chest as he leaned in even closer, lips a fraction away from Steve’s ear. 

“Maybe so,” he whispered, the air of his words sending an embarrassing shiver down Steve’s spine, “But he’s great at oral sex.”

It was a challenge, pure and simple. And one Steve was all-too eager to match. But Eddie was always going to make him wait for it. Nothing was ever simple when it came to them. 

He pulled himself away from Steve fast enough to cause whiplash. And when he spoke again his voice was boisterous and loud, 

“Look- you’ve traipsed mud all through the house.” He tutted, gesturing at Steve’s sneaker-clad feet, “Take those off already. I’m sure your Mama didn’t raise a slob.” 

Steve obliged, letting himself be tugged back to reality just enough for his labido to settle. He wasn’t about to push Eddie, or rush away their time together, as eager as he was to get to the real action of the evening. Because as embarrassed as he was to admit it, it was the mere act of being alone with Eddie that he looked forward to the most. Steve really was rather terrible at this whole ‘casual sex’ thing.

“On the topic of raising ,” Steve cleared his throat, kicking off each shoe and lining them up by the dresser, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”

“Huh?”

“Mike.” He continued, pulling off his belt and letting it fall to the floor, his jeans hanging slack, “I caught him with a snuffed out roll-up in his back pocket the other day.”

Eddie remained none-the-wiser, bewilderment written all across his face as he reclined back against his pillows to watch Steve undress. 

“Don’t look so clueless. He said it was yours.” Steve huffed, tugging off his polo and leaving him with nothing but a plain thermal T-Shirt beneath, “Come on, Man. He's only fifteen. You shouldn’t be encouraging this…”

“Maybe I look so clueless because I didn’t give him a smoke. I’m not an idiot.” Eddie retorted, seeming to struggle between his hostility and wanting to eye Steve up.

“Or at least- shit-“ he chewed at his thumb nail, doing a terrible job of masking his guilt. 

“So you did give it to him?” 

“Yes. No. He’s right, it was mine.” Eddie struggled to get the words out, “I was doing an oil change on the van. ‘Asked him to hold onto it for me. Fire hazard n’all… I must have forgotten to get it back.”

He had no reason to lie, and the troubled waver in his tone was enough for Steve to easily believe him. 

“Right…Sorry.” He apologised, feeling a little guilty himself for questioning Eddie’s moral judgement. 

Maybe he was simply trying to find faults where there weren't any? That would surely be easier than continuing to live as though the sun shined directly out of Eddie’s asshole after all.

“You really have such terrible expectations of me, don’t you Harrington?” Eddie laughed bitterly, crossing his legs in front of him.

He looked small that way, an innocence and a sadness about him that made Steve’s heart sink. 

“That’s not true-“ He tried to defend, but Eddie was quick to brush him off,

“Sure. Whatever. ‘S not like it’s anything new.”

Steve wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He stretched his arms above his head, letting his back fall against the mattress and doing little else but looking at the ceiling. 

The old ceiling. The normal one. No horrible history there. Everything was fine. 

He risked a glance at Eddie, recognising the aged pain etched into the darkness circling his eyes. There was no getting rid of that sort of horror, no matter how much he might try.

And it hurt Steve too, that he couldn’t help Eddie find the happiness he needed. It took Steve the longest time to realise that was what he truly wanted, to see Eddie happy. But now that he did, everything else seemed inconsequential by comparison. 

But finding the courage to voice that want was a different entity entirely. It was why Steve was so self-destructive in how he handled Eddie’s companionship, whether he realised it or not. 

It was easier to let Eddie take charge and keep things moderated and without any real feelings because the fear of losing him completely was much greater.

All that trouble was obviously written across Steve’s face, he could sense it in the dip of his brows and the sharp jolt of pain he felt when he bit at his lip too harshly. 

Eddie had seen it too, because the next thing Steve registered was the other young man looming over him, long loose curls tickling at his face. 

They only regarded one another for a moment longer before muscle memory took over. Steve didn’t know who leaned in first, not that it mattered. 

His lips found Eddie’s slowly, moving with delicate ease and breathing in every inch of him that he could in the process. 

The faint scent of tobacco clung to his hair, harsh yet familiar. And then there was the aftershave, which was new, unexpected but welcome all the same.

Had he put it on especially for Steve’s arrival? No. Don’t think like that. 

Steve figured vaguely that he ought to move his hands, that he should actually hold onto Eddie some way. Maybe brace himself at his forearms or tug at the small hairs at the back of his neck. But at the same time he feared that any sudden movement might end it all. 

He just wanted to be there, kissing Eddie slowly, softly, without rushing breaths or wet tongues or the urgency to get it all out of their systems and be done with it. He just wanted to stay like this forever. 

And so naturally it was Eddie who pulled away first, a toying grin on his face as he spoke, 

“Don’t pout. It isn’t cute.” He pecked at Steve’s lips again and again, and drunk on it all Steve couldn’t help himself but mumble,

“Yes it is.”

That made Eddie laugh. For a short, wonderful moment at least. 

But soon enough his smile faded, and that bleak melancholy returned once more. 

“Tell me. What’s the matter?” Steve tried, surprised by his own boldness. 

Eddie raised a brow, leaning back onto his elbows, 

“Besides you accusing me of giving the kids a taste for tobacco?” There was no real malice there, but he was obviously deflecting. 

“No. You were already in a weird mood when I got here.” Steve said, more firmly this time, “What’s wrong? You can… I dunno… talk to me?”

He gestured between the pair of them, half-dressed and still red-lipped, 

“‘S not like we don’t share enough already…”

Eddie breathed out another laugh, reaching out to tug the hem of Steve’s undershirt. 

“It’s nothing. ‘Just having a bad day.” 

“So you want me to leave?”

“No. Actually.” He pulled a little harder then, “I’d prefer it if you stayed. We can still do this.”

Steve wasn’t entirely convinced. He wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of being used as stress relief, not when Eddie was anything-but for him. 

“You’re sure?” He frowned, reaching his hand around the small of Eddie’s back and just holding him, “I don’t want you doing anything when you’re not in your right head.”

Eddie leaned into the touch, which immediately did nothing good for Steve’s self-control. He peppered some kisses along Steve’s jawline, and Steve let his eyes close once more, shakily breathing through his nose. 

“I’m a big boy. It’s fine.” Eddie spoke between kisses, “In fact I think it’ll do me some good. Get some shit out of my system.” 

His head dipped lower then, lips exploring the long lines of Steve’s jaw, down to the scar that had wrapped itself around his neck. Yet another lingering sign of their shared horror. 

“Don’t worry I won’t get rough with you. Not unless you want me to anyways.”

Any last threads of hesitation Steve might have had crumbled away. If physical touch was all he could get, he’d sure as hell take it. He’d craved that for long enough as it was. 

Maybe love was simply not suited to him. His parents didn’t raise him on it, nor were they before him. Perhaps Steve was predisposed to be used; whether that be beaten or fucked, laboured or even chewed apart by inter-dimentional demon bats. 

“Well, we can do whatever you want.” He gave in easily, baring his neck so that Eddie could reach more of him, “Just- no biting. I’m playing ball with Lucas tomorrow. Don’t want him asking questions.” 

That was a lie. He kind of did want the questions. If other people talked about it more than maybe it would finally become something real.

He wished Robin were close by. She’d know something was going on between him and Eddie immediately. He craved her teasing. It was a great motivator. Without her around Steve was stunted, too emotionally docile to act on his feelings for Eddie. 

Though, last he’d heard Robin had actually plucked up the courage to ask out a girl in one of her classes. So maybe she’d stolen all of Steve’s bravado for herself and whisked it away to college with her; grown up just like everybody else had except for him. 

“Ay ay Captain.” Eddie pulled himself up just long enough to offer Steve a small salute before their mouths were back on one another.

Their hands roamed aimlessly, Eddie’s fingers finding their way to Steve’s shoulders and massaging his thumbs into the muscles there.

“You’re tense.” He hummed with observation, working to relax the joints. 

“Am I?”

Steve could hazard at least a handful of guesses why. Almost all of them rhyming with Teddy and ending with heartache. 

“Mm. That stressful selling tapes to horny teenagers, is it?” Eddie raised a brow, and Steve once more felt it necessary to brush off his true longing sentiment.

“Keith’s been on my ass ever since Robin left.” He covered haphazardly, “He’s looking for any excuse to have me fired.”

Eddie’s hand shot down to Steve’s backside, groping at him with one sharp squeeze that almost made Steve jolt out of his skin. 

“Another guy after this ass? I have competition.”

As much as the appeal of what Eddie was implying was strong, almost unbearably so, Steve was very-much of the mindset that his ass was reserved for a real relationship.

The mere thought of Eddie fucking him was at the very top of Steve’s wank-bank inventory. And it wasn’t as if he hadn’t ever experimented with his own fingers every now and then. 

But as lame as it sounded, Steve knew that if he let Eddie take him like that then it really would be all over for him. Steve would fall in love. Deep enough (no pun intended) that there would be no coming back from it.

Sure, it still hurt now. But this sort of misery was nothing new to Steve. He was used to pining, he’d suffered through it with Nancy Wheeler for long enough. 

“On the topic of ass…” Steve ignored the look of pure revulsion Eddie offered him for that terrible segway, instead focusing his attention on unclasping his own jeans,

“Do you need any prep yourself?” 

“I’m fine.” Eddie shrugged, finally starting to remove layers of his own clothes. 

He pulled his T-Shirt over his head, wincing slightly as it snagged over his scared torso. The majority of the wounds had healed well, especially the chunk taken from beneath his chin, which had been reconstructed with a skin-graft taken from Eddie’s already mangled stomach. 

It was his chest that caused the most discomfort. Where his right nipple used to be, now a twisted pattern of red slashes overlapping one another. 

“The fuckers took one of my tits!” Eddie had complained, loudly, for months after the Gates had closed. 

Whether or not that was another one of his countless coping mechanisms remained a bit of a mystery. Though Steve figured that as long as Eddie was willing to sleep with him to, quote, ‘let loose a few demons’ , then he would probably remain ever-as sarcastic.

Steve knew that Eddie’s chest embarrassed him. Made him feel as though he was somehow less desirable for having such scars. He would never take off his shirt around anybody else except for Steve, probably because he was about the only person alive who could relate to the trauma of it all. 

But Steve didn’t mind the marks at all. The fact that they were both living in spite of them was reason enough to remain joyful. Besides, Eddie still had one other ‘tit’, and Steve was more than happy to give that twice as much attention. 

He pulled Eddie up into his lap, his hips raised and knees either side of him. Steve dropped his head low, kissing his way down Eddie’s neck until he reached his chest. He let his tongue brush over Eddie’s nipple, licking and sucking until it was flushed pink and glistening. 

Eddie was breathing heavily, clearly working hard to suppress any sorts of real noises of pleasure. He seemed adamant on keeping quiet most of the time, something which only encouraged Steve further to try and draw those sweet sounds out of him. 

“Did it earlier?” He smirked, using his thumb and forefinger to continue to tease at Eddie’s nipple, “Were you excited to see me?”

Eddie tried to speak, immediately snapping his mouth back closed in annoyance when his voice rang high and broken, 

“I’m- just not a blushing virgin.” He tried again through gritted teeth. 

“That’s a shocker.” 

“If you’ve quite finished mouthing off,” Eddie huffed, raising a hand and pinching at Steve’s cheeks, his thumb teasingly prodding into his mouth, “you could put this to better use?”

The anticipation of it was enough. Steve felt the swell of his erection against the fabric of his boxers. He pulled himself free, rubbing slowly until he was completely hard. 

Meanwhile, Eddie had unclasped his own tight jeans, shucking them down below his hips and freeing his own hardening cock. Steve rested back on his forearms as Eddie raised his hips further until the tip of his dick hovered a fraction from Steve’s bottom lip. 

*

Steve and Eddie’s first venture into the realms of sexual explorations with one another had been blowjobs. Lots of blowjobs. 

It had all sort of happened by accident. A self-inflicted accident, mind you, but it had still been unexpected all the same. 

After Robin, Nancy and Jonathan had waved goodbye to Hawkins and sprouted their wings at college, Steve found himself growing lonely incredibly fast. He sought comfort in Eddie’s company in a way he hadn’t ever thought possible. Him, friends with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson? It was a complete slap in the face to every law of human nature that Steve had known to be true. 

But much like the seasons, reliable, constant, and set in stone, Steve’s relationship with Eddie fast became a grounded staple of his life, and one he couldn’t imagine ever having lived without. 

One of their favourite activities had rather rapidly become smoking. On the hood of Steve’s car by the quarry or in the peaceful security of Eddie’s bedroom when Wayne was busy at work. It was a past-time Steve had almost forgotten how to love, far too deeply involved with maintaining a steady minimum-wage job to appease his parents, or taking on a begrudging father role just to keep the likes of Henderson alive long enough to make it to college. 

He and Eddie had been high out of their minds on some special green Argyle had scored from the Gold Coast. They spent a whole afternoon spread out across Eddie’s bed sheets tracing the pattern in his wallpaper.

For some long-lost reason they had been daring one another to do stupid shit, like prank call random folks they found in the phonebook or do backwards rolls down the corridor. 

It was when Steve bet Eddie 6 Reese's Pieces and a stray five dollar bill that he could shove his whole fist into his mouth, that they figured out Steve didn’t have a gag reflex. 

They’d been flirting before that, profusely. But it was only when Eddie made some spaced-out comment about sucking dick that Steve had actually suggested it. They settled on not acting on anything that same night, because even though they were both stoned, they still wasn’t that stupid. 

Only when Steve admitted the next morning that he was still curious about the idea of it did they actually proceed. 

He was a natural, through-and-through. And that wasn’t just Steve blasting his own trumpet, that was Eddie- so-called connoiaaeur of gay sex- admitting it freely. 

And it was a good thing too, because Steve quickly learned that he enjoyed doing it. Watching Eddie above him come undone, muscles tensing and mouth hanging slack; it was without a shadow of a doubt the most attractive thing Steve had ever seen. 

Their sexual codependency only blossomed from there. And while Steve had never done anything with a guy before, what grew between the pair of them was nothing to do with experimentation or secretive relief.

He couldn’t scream from the rooftops that he and Eddie were fucking, obviously, but that didn’t mean that Steve was ashamed of it either. 

Being with another man was something Steve had hardly even considered possible until Robin came into his life. His only understanding of queer people had been what he’d seen on the news, equally terrifying and distant, and surely none of his concern.

Robin had shown Steve that queerness didn’t just exist inside the box of his television screen or his Father’s newspapers or even his own imagination. It was real, living, breathing, and all around Hawkins. And not only that but it was a part of himself too. That gnawing, ever-present fear that he somehow didn’t fit the mould expected of him. And that terrifying and guilty pang of desire he had felt when he saw Michael  Gray in Shazam! or Toby Krasinski from his 8th Grade gym class in his soccer shorts. 

*

Steve met Eddie the rest of the way. He took one last deep breath , inhaling him , a scent that was as powerful as it was carnal. The rush of erotic energy that spread through Steve’s veins shred away any last stray thoughts that might still have circulated around his mind. 

His lips parted, and he took Eddie’s tip into his mouth, sucking with a practised and yet still deeply urgent need to please. 

Eddie was quick to bite back a curse, his hand snatching at the back of Steve’s hair. Steve liked it when he did that. Liked being pulled around and guided, but also fighting back against Eddie’s grip, demanding to pleasure him the way that he wanted to. 

Steve let his jaw fall slack as Eddie pushed himself in further. He kept his tongue busy, swirling it around the head and knowing that Eddie got off on it more when Steve was messy. 

When Eddie’s cock reached the back of Steve’s throat, some of those natural bodily responses began to kick in. His eyes stung, enough so that he felt dampness begin to stick to his lashes. 

Steve groaned at the sensation of feeling so helplessly full, and his hands reached up to claw at Eddie’s hips when the other man began to thrust against his throat. 

And while he mostly tried to remain quiet, the noises Eddie did make were something unique, somewhere between a whine and a chuckle of laughter. He was enjoying himself, enjoying seeing King Steve below him, having his mouth fucked and doing it well.

Though as much as Steve enjoyed that too, he wasn’t about to give Eddie all of the satisfaction of being in control. His hands, busy groping at every inch of Eddie he could reach, snaked their way around his ass and dug in at his cheeks. There was little resistance when he tested a finger inside of Eddie, already near-knuckle deep before Eddie could so much as take a breath,

“I-” The other man scrambled above him, pulling himself off Steve’s lips, “I said I don’t need prep.”

“What,” Steve smirked, taking the opportunity to wriggle around his finger some more, “am I not allowed to do it just for fun?”

“Fun?”

“I like to see you get worked up.” And with that, Steve focused his attention back on Eddie’s dick, licking and sucking up his length, all the while massaging his finger inside of him.

“F-fuck…” Eddie preened, his grip on Steve’s hair tightening.

“That good?”

“What?” He gasped, brows tight with an annoyance Steve found utterly charming, “Y-you looking for praise?”

“It wouldn’t kill you.” Steve hummed, adding a second finger before licking his way up the entire length of Eddie’s dick- all so agonisingly slow- only to hollow out his cheeks and take the tip back between his lips when he reached the top.

“But you- you might.” Eddie grunted, seeming to struggle whether to snap his hips back into Steve’s mouth, or push down onto his fingers. 

Though clearly not one to have much in the way of patience, that little to-and-fro didn’t last very long. He swatted the hand away from his ass, and begrudgingly Steve obliged, removing his fingers. 

“Don’t tease. Do it properly.” Eddie demanded, and Steve couldn’t help but pull back up just to laugh,

“ Properly … since when were such a stickler for the rules?” 

Eddie didn’t bother answering him. Instead he readjusted both of his hands in Steve’s hair, thrusting back into his mouth with a new degree of ferocity. And God, it felt good . 

Steve groaned around Eddie’s cock, the vibrations of it only seeming to spur the man above him to drive his hips harder, knocking against Steve’s throat with each thrust. And when things grew messy again, a trail of saliva leaking from Steve’s lips, Eddie reached out a hand to wipe at it, his thumb pressing against the corner of Steve’s mouth, teasing to stretch him even wider. 

The sensation was too much for Steve not to do anything about it himself. His own cock was hard and leaking against his stomach, and so he reached a hand down and grabbed hold, moaning loudly as he squeezed at the base. 

Steve matched each one of Eddie’s thrusts with his hand, and after a while found his own head moving back to take Eddie as deep as he could without even needing to be told. 

He rubbed at himself, faster and faster, and whether or not Eddie had realised what he was doing hadn’t entirely registered. Steve was far too busy moaning around his cock, utterly beside himself as he let his mouth be fucked. 

He came without much warning, groaning loudly as he rubbed himself frantically through it. He spilled over his own hand, all the while Eddie was still pushed against his throat.

“Y-you-” Eddie almost choked himself, on air of all things, “You better not be done for the night…”

He pulled himself free from Steve, giving the man a chance to come to his senses. 

Steve took a deep breath, and then another. The high still simmering in his chest and groin, even as sensation began to return to his throat, hoarse and spent. 

“I can go again.” He gasped, blissed-out and collapsing back against the mattress. 

Gradually Eddie began to settle himself, his eyes still slightly wide with disbelief. 

“Better than Devon?” Steve chuckled, earning himself a half-assed slap on the forearm. 

“Shut up.”

“You didn’t say no.” He carried on teasing, seizing hold of Eddie’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

It probably seemed silly, after what they’d just done. Maybe a little too sentimental in fact. But if Eddie had a problem with it he didn’t say so. And even through shining eyes Steve could see that Eddie was fighting back a smile. 

“God you’re pretty.” He breathed, not even having meant to. 

For a painful moment Steve figured Eddie might tell him to stop then. Even worse that he might ask him to leave all together. Eddie seemed to contemplate him for a long while, though Steve doubted in reality the look between them lasted any more than a second. 

Steve licked at his lips, and readied to speak, hoping to recover some of his dignity. But before he could Eddie reached behind him, and took Steve’s cock into his hand, rubbing at it with a surprising degree of gentleness. 

He was still sensitive, and Steve winced slightly at the touch, but it was bearable. And it didn’t take long until he was hard enough once more for Eddie to reposition his hips over the top of Steve’s. 

“Is this way gonna be okay?” He asked, beginning to rock his ass back against Steve. 

“Y-yeah.” Steve swallowed, nodding a little too frantically, “You look good.”

“Full of compliments tonight. ‘Making up for accusing me of drug-pushing children?” Eddie smirked, removing his hand from Steve and bracing himself against the flat of his stomach. 

“No.” Steve admitted, still feeling bold, “I’m just quite fond of you.”

Eddie wavered for a moment then, his eyes casting downwards. 

“My charm will wear off eventually.” He spoke quietly, “It always does.”

Steve didn’t have much opportunity to contemplate those words, not before Eddie raised his hips and guided himself until the tip of Steve’s dick pressed against him. 

He slid down onto Steve with practised pace, eyes falling closed as he breathed in deep through his nose, willing himself to stay calm. 

“God- Ed-“ Steve groaned, entirely the opposite. On instinct his hips bucked up into the tight warmth of Eddie, causing the other man to hiss, 

“Don’t move-“ he shifted a hand to grip onto Steve’s hipbone, holding him firm, “you trying to break my pelvis?”

“S-sorry. You’re just- God-“ Steve threw his head back, neck craning as he let out a guttural groan.  

That seemed to make Eddie lighten up fast, not even bothering to suppress his delight. 

“I’m God?” He raised, rolling his hips in a way that had Steve seeing stars, “That’s new.”

“Fuck. You’re so tight! I-I feel like my dick is going to snap off!”

Eddie really laughed then, the ripple of it rushing through his entire body and straight into Steve. It was infectious, pure bliss. Steve never wanted the sensation to leave him. 

Eddie sank lower and lower still, letting out a trembling breath as he finally sat firmly in Steve’s lap,

“T-there.”

“You okay?” Steve placed his hands on each of Eddie’s calves, loving the sensation of everyone one of his rough curves and edges. 

“I’m fine.” Eddie huffed, his entire chest heaving, “Fuck, you’re big.”

“Heh-“

“Don’t let it go to your head.” He cut off Steve’s laughter fast, but the other man’s smile remained, 

“Too late.”

With a roll of his eyes, Eddie focused back on the task at hand. And he raised his hips again, lifting himself off of Steve around half-way before dropping back down. 

He repeated the motion over and over again, the small back room of the trailer fast becoming filled with their warm panting gasps. 

There was no rush to be had in Eddie’s movements. And while Steve had lost track of the time somewhere along the way of having Eddie’s dick in his mouth, the other guy seemed completely unconcerned by the prospect of his Uncle Wayne coming back home. 

In considering his surroundings a little more, Steve began to recognise the music still vibrating through Eddie’s speakers. In spite of himself he grinned, and his fingers drummed at Eddie’s hips in time with the beat of the tune. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Eddie mock-gasped, halting his movements, “am I not entertaining enough for you?” 

“It’s catchy-“ Steve defended, before letting loose, unashamedly humming out the lyrics, “ Psycho Killer! Qu'est-ce que c'est? ”

He rocked his head from side-to-side, mouthing along with each, 

Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-

“Urgh, I hate this one.” Eddie groaned, settling back down onto Steve’s cock, looking rather humorous in his apparent misery. 

“It’s your mixtape.” Steve snorted, teasingly slapping at Eddie’s ass. 

“I only put this one on because you kept nagging for some of your own music.” Eddie matched his mocking tone, leaning down close so that his long curls fell either side of Steve’s face. 

“ Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là- “ Steve continued to sing, craning to get closer to Eddie’s lips. “ Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là .” 

Eddie bit back a smirk, his mouth a mere fraction from Steve’s own. 

“ Réalisant mon espoir… ” Eddie whispered the next line, and Steve’s entire body burned with a warm, joyful sort of desire. 

“ Je me lance vers la gloire…” Steve joined again. And hardly able to contain their giddy laughter, the pair of them burst, chanting loudly, 

“ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah !” 

Eddie finally kissed him, deep and open-mouthed and wanting . And in doing so his body rolled against Steve, grinding his hips down onto his cock and then not stopping. 

They found a fast, focused pace, their skin slapping against one another, wet and loud. 

Steve’s hands gripped tightly at Eddie’s hips, pulling him down against him with each rocking motion. Any sense of remaining composure left Eddie not long after that. He got loud, which wasn’t typical of him, groaning fiercely, any words completely incomprehensible. 

Watching Eddie’s mouth hang slack, breathy moans catching on his lips, the way his pale hips rolled back and forth, and how his own swollen hard cock rubbed between them; it was obscene in the best possible sense of the word. 

“I’m close-“ Steve admitted, gasping with every tight movement of Eddie against him. 

“Already?” Eddie retorted, not that Steve was in much of a position to defend himself, 

“You’re insane-“ he struggled, his hips thrusting up into Eddie with an unfiltered urgency, “I can’t-“

Eddie sat back up on his heels fast, pushing back against Steve’s dick, 

“Fuck! S-Steve-“ 

There was no holding it back any more, not after hearing Eddie whine like that. And with one last gasp of his name, Steve bucked his hips up into Eddie as he came. 

And that should have been it. They should have settled down, let the fire simmer and cool. 

But Eddie didn’t stop. Instead he only moved faster. 

He raised himself off of Steve’s cock, cum leaking out of him and all over Steve, only to slam himself back down.

Steve scrambled hold of whatever he could, his nails digging into Eddie’s hips and dragging along the skin when the other man moved again, bouncing back down onto Steve’s spent cock, up and down, up and down- 

“Ahh- again!” Eddie cried out, completely beside himself. 

“W-what?” Steve blinked rapidly, hardly even able to process his surroundings, nevermind Eddie continuing to ride him like a God-damn animal. 

“Again, ‘want you to cum again!” Eddie whined, guttural and desperate.

Steve felt as though his dick was on fire. Hell, his whole body in fact, 

“I-I can’t!”

“You can-“

“Ed- shit-“ Steve really did wince then, and immediately Eddie slowed, 

“You okay?” He asked, breathless but still sincerely concerned. 

“It’s just-“ every slight movement sent a sharp jolt through Steve’s entire nervous system, and he trembled, “ah- sensitive…”

Yet in spite of it all, he still hadn’t asked Eddie to stop, or even tried to pull himself free…

“In a good way or a bad way?” Eddie dared to ask, granting Steve the opportunity to really consider it.

“G- it should be bad…” Steve bit back a groan, his hips involuntary bucking back up into Eddie, seeking the rush, seeking the ache of it. 

“But it’s not?” Eddie continued to quiz, struggling to keep his own cool as he rolled his ass onto Steve. 

“It hurts-“ Steve cried out, because it was true. It was so true . 

“Want me to stop?” 

Steve knew that Eddie was serious. He knew that he would end it, without a second delay or cause for questioning. He could trust him, with his body above all else. 

But Steve didn’t want Eddie to stop. It hurt, yes. But he didn’t want him to stop. 

“N-no!” Steve screwed his eyes shut, relinquishing his entire body over to Eddie, “Keep going!”

He had never felt so overstimulated in his life, never thought it possible for something to ache and to burn and to feel so amazing all at once. 

Steve couldn’t spare a moment to consider how ridiculous he probably sounded, yelping out nonsense and moaning loud enough that the entire trailer park probably knew what was going on. 

“Shit- Steve-“ Eddie continued to praise, bouncing up and down onto Steve frantically, each movement sounding utterly filthy of the slick between them, “you’re so good- so good for me-“

Steve thought he might black-out, repeatedly. Every press and squeeze of Eddie enough to completely ruin him. 

It was only when Eddie brought a hand to his face and swiped under his eyes, did Steve realise they were damp, 

“You’re crying?” Eddie cooed, his hand shifting from Steve’s face and resting lightly at his neck, gripping, though not too firmly, “‘S that good that you’re in tears?”

“Fuck- fuck don’t stop! H-hurts so good-“ Steve whined, no energy or integrity left to do anything other than reveal the most carnal desires that had invaded every corner of his mind. 

And so rather than try, Steve gasped and cried and trembled with every movement Eddie made. 

“You look so perfect like that Steve.” Eddie panted, finally closing in on his own climax, “You look like that for everybody?” 

The praise didn’t help matters either, and Steve choked back a sob, nodding pathetically, 

“J-jus- just you. Only you.” 

At that, Eddie made a frantic shout of noise himself, throwing his head back as he moaned. 

“T-touch me!” He pleaded, and by some miracle Steve managed oblige, clutching hold of Eddie’s leaking cock and squeezing, 

“That’s it!” Eddie was a complete mess, hair wild, mouth agape, 

“Cum in me again! Cum inside me!” He cried, slamming back down once more onto Steve’s cock and holding himself there.

The force, his determination, his desire… it was everything. Steve existed for Eddie alone at that moment. And so when Eddie told him to cum, he did, far more powerfully than the first (or even the second) time. 

The sensation of being filled up yet again was what sent Eddie over the edge, spilling over Steve’s hand and onto his stomach. 

Steve could hardly feel his legs. And from the shaky movements Eddie made as he pulled himself off Steve only to collapse beside him, he no-doubt felt exactly the same way. 

It took a long time for either one of them to come to their senses. Chests heaving, tired gasps mirroring one another. 

The tape had long since finished, and a low hum of static buzzing throughout the room. 

Steve licked at his lips, still plump and sore, 

“Ah- shit… that was…” he breathed, running a hand through his hair and quickly noticing how damp with sweat it had become. 

Eddie sat up fast, so much so that it practically gave Steve a headache himself just watching. Haphazardly Eddie rummaged the floor until he found a towel and wrapped it around his hips to try and catch some of the mess. 

“Sorry.” He huffed, turning his attention to his bedside drawer, pulling out a box of cigarettes and a lighter, “Got a little carried away.”

Steve couldn’t even begin to comprehend the contempt in Eddie’s tone.

“I liked it.” He grinned from ear-to-ear, far-too enthused with riding off the high of it all. 

Not just the orgasm, but of Eddie too, his words, how he said them. As if for the first time since they had began sleeping together, Eddie had actually matched Steve’s desire, his craving for more than just sex.

“We should do that again.” Steve nodded, confident and sure. 

“No.” Eddie spoke, the cigarette between his teeth as he lit it up, “I don’t think we should.”

That time Steve really was listening. His smile fell, frowning at nothing in particular because he didn’t think he could bear to look Eddie in the eye just yet. Not until he was sure of what he heard. 

“What do you mean?”

“This. We shouldn’t do this anymore.” Eddie affirmed, gesturing between the pair of them before taking a long, shakey drag, “At least not without setting up some ground rules.”

“More rules?” 

“I mean about feelings.” Eddie sniffed, doing a pretty terrible job of masking his disinterest from Steve, “Best for neither of us to get the wrong idea about any of this…”

Steve was stunned. He sat up, ignoring the throb in his hips and glaring at the back of Eddie’s head. 

“Why?” 

Eddie said nothing, only frustrating Steve further. 

He reached out a hand, grasping at Eddie’s shoulder,

“Ed?” But even when he pulled Eddie to face him, the other man’s gaze remained firmly trained on some distant space Steve couldn’t reach.

His eyes were red-rimmed, pupils blown out. And if that was pain on Eddie’s face then Steve wanted to understand it. Whether or not it would end up hurting him too was inconsequential. 

“I meant what I said.” Steve soothed, shifting his hand to cup at Eddie’s cheek, “I’m not sleeping with anybody else. I don’t want to.”

He could feel Eddie’s jaw wobble beneath his fingertips, fighting back every urge to- to- well Steve didn’t even know what. 

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” He tried once more, so close to pleading, “What I want-“

“I don’t care what you want.”

And in an instant Steve withdrew. Eddie’s words stung like venom, the glare in his eyes even more-so. 

“But I thought-“

“You’re just… cum drunk.” Eddie scoffed, shrugging himself free from Steve’s grasp and taking another long inhale from the bud between his fingers. 

“The fuck does that mean?”

“You’re not thinking straight… ha…” Eddie shook his head, finding the time to laugh at his own joke even when angry, “you don’t want this.”

Steve was not nearly as amused.

“How is it that you know what I want?” He hissed, hands digging into the sheets atop the bed. 

“Because I know guys like you. I’ve been with them before.” Eddie spoke as if it were the most simple, God-written law of the Earth, “It’s like I said. The charm will wear off soon enough.”

Steve screwed up his nose, a sour bile invading every one of his senses. 

“You’re a jerk.” He spat, folding his arms around his legs and burying his face in his knees.

So Steve was no better than any other guy Eddie had ever known? Was that it? Nobody special. Nobody different.

He felt like a fool. Lovesick and stupid. He’d only gone and done it again; fell too hard and too fast. And now the impact crumbled away at his heart. 

At least with Nancy he could understand it. He was no good for her back then, and even when he was it still wasn’t right. They were too evenly matched in a lot of ways. It was all too easy. Steve knew that if they ever tried to pursue anything again that they would just be giving up, settling because it was the most simple thing to do and it was what everyone else around them would have expected.

But Nancy didn’t deserve a boring life like that, and frankly neither did Steve. He hadn’t spent years trudging through Upside-Down shit and getting the crap knocked out of him only to end up miserable now. 

Which was ironic, because that was exactly what Eddie had just done. Fucked Steve until he was stupid, fucked him until he was in love . Then just tossed him out to dry. 

The clouds must have let out, because Steve heard the distinct rattle of rain thrashing against the tin roof over his head. Pathetic fallacy if he had ever known it. Robin would have been proud of him for remembering such a fancy word. 

Eddie must have mistaken Steve’s silence for understanding. He nudged lamely at his arm, holding out a fresh cigarette as a peace offering. 

“I’ll call you.”

In a storming hurry Steve stood up, slapping Eddie’s hand out of his way as he did. 

“Fuck off.” He grunted, searching the carpet for his jeans and tugging them back up. 

“Maybe when you’ve calmed down a little we can-“

Steve didn’t even let Eddie finish. As soon as his shirt was back over his head he snatched up his sneakers and carried them under his arm, storming out the bedroom door. 

There was no point hesitating, pondering hopefully over whether or not Eddie would chase after him. Steve knew that he wouldn’t. 

*

Despite only being a short march back to the car, Steve already felt uncomfortably sodden by the rain clinging to the tips of his hair and neck. 

He wiped his face dry, letting out one final angered groan before starting up the ignition. 

Not that he made it very far beyond that. 

Steve’s windscreen wipers may have been working double-time to keep the rain at bay, but he could still hardly see a few feet ahead of him. 

Not only that, but his headlights struggled to cut a glowing path through the darkness of the storm. There was no chance in hell Steve could have seen the sharp, jarring pothole etched into the dirt-track road out of the trailer park. 

Feeling his suspension buckle under him, Steve slammed onto the breaks, skidding into the grass verge with an unsophisticated thud . 

“Shit!” He hissed, swiftly turning off the engine and unbuckling his seatbelt. “Shit shit shit!” 

The moment he stepped out of the car he was assaulted with violent, thunderous rain. It was dark, freezing, and the wind rattled against his face from every-which direction. 

Steve crouched down at his front left tire, feeling around the wet, muddy rubber blindly and sensing the problem immediately. 

“Fuck…” he swallowed. A puncture. 

It was rather stupid of Steve to even attempt to change the flat in the dark of the storm, but in his heightened frustration he was determined to try regardless. 

He stomped over to the trunk of the BMW, pushing his baseball bat aside to find his torch, both items he still refused to leave the house without. 

Steve racked his brain for the minimal car-fixing knowledge he had picked up caring for his ride over the years, none of which seemed particularly useful to him now. His father sure-as-hell never taught him how to change a tire. They were Harringtons. They didn’t change tires. They paid people to do it for them.

After fishing the wrench and jack out of his trunk, Steve plodded through the mud back to the front of the car. He shone the torch light at the busted tire, yep, well-and-truly fucked. The spare tire was back in the trunk too, and he was hardly able to keep his grip on the ring as he heaved it out, the rain leaving his fingers ice cold and slippery. 

With a thud Steve let the tire drop to the ground, rolling it the rest of the way. He was soaked, T-Shirt clinging uncomfortable to every inch of his torso. Worse yet was the water in his eyes, dripping from his nose and even pooling on his lips. He spat it away and took a hasty swipe to clear his face before picking up the wrench to remove the first of the wheel nuts.

A flash of light broke through the tree line above Steve’s head, almost immediately followed by an echoing roar of thunder. He couldn’t remember a time he’d been caught in a storm this intense, so fierce it was almost scary.

Steve shook off those gnawing jitters and focused his attention on unscrewing the nuts. One, easy. Two, his hands grew slippy. He tried it again, and when it finally sprang free it disappeared under the car, lost in the dark dirt.

“No no!” Steve whined, scrambling helplessly, laying on his chest and searching under the car. But between the rain and the dark it was impossible, there was no chance of getting it back.

Relax. He told himself, taking a frustrated breath. He could still do this. All he needed to do was, uh… remove all the nuts. Yeah, he could do that. Steve focused on each one in turn, taking time to blow into his hands and warm them up after every nut was unscrewed. 

With all bolts loose, next he needed to remove the busted tire. But how? He needed something to hold up the car, something… someone- fuck-

“FUCK!” Steve barked, slapping himself in the face, “SHIT!” 

Steve could hardly find the energy to move from the floor. He was wet. He was cold. When he finally pushed up onto his feet, he paced up and down the car, his legs shaky. 

“Useless pile of shit!” He snapped, pathetically kicking at the metal body of the car. Though in hindsight, the outburst was most-likely in self-reflection more than anything else.

Steve turned around, taking in his surroundings (or what he could make out of it anyways). He was quite-literally in the middle of nowhere, a dirt road on the outskirts of Hawkins that was hardly ever ventured, nevermind in the middle of a torrential storm. 

He needed to get inside somewhere, dry off before he caught hypothermia. Besides, Steve wasn’t a fan of being out in the dark alone at the best of times. It was kind of a principal after everything he’d seen.

There was Family Video? He still had his shop keys on him. But Town was still so far away, and worse yet it was a good five miles or so back to his own house. 

Steve looked behind him, following the road in the opposite direction, back where he had just driven from. Back to warmth. And security. And a giant raging asshole who had ruined his whole night. Fuck it.

*

Steve tried not to make a habit of breaking into places. But when he finally trudged back up the steps onto Eddie’s porch, only to find the door locked, he had little in the way of options. 

“Ed? Ed?” He tried, rattling the handle to no avail. 

Hell, with all the cracking thunder and rain outside, it would’ve been a miracle if Eddie heard him anyway. 

Steve eyed up the small square window beside the front door. It was plastic, the sort that could be popped open by a little rubber clasp. Nothing too strong at all. Steve smacked his first against the window, once, twice, that was all it took for the clasp to spring free. 

He awkwardly wormed an arm inside, feeling around the wall to try and reach the door lock and silently praying that no one else was crazy enough to be outside to see him quite literally busting into the Munson’s front room.

“Eddie?” Steve called once more as the trailer door sprung open. But the living area was completely devoid of life. 

Steve closed the door behind him and shook off what rain he could at the welcome mat. He kicked off his sodden sneakers and paddled barefoot through the home, arms wrapped tightly around himself. 

It took a moment longer to discern the difference between the rain thrashing outside and the shower running in the bathroom, but when he did Steve followed the sound down the hall.

“Ed?” He tried one last time, knocking his knuckles against the bathroom door. No response.

Too cold and fed up to really think much of it, Steve opened the door. He walked in, pulling back the curtain in one swift motion-

“JESUS- SHIT!” Eddie squawked, naturally petrified out of his own skin.

“It’s just me!” Steve raised both hands in surrender, not that it succeeded in calming Eddie the slightest.

“God I thought I was about to be MURDERED!” He gaped, one hand clutching at his heaving chest, the other over his groin. 

“Stop yelling, would you?” Steve winced, wiggling a finger in his waterlogged ear.

“What’re you doing back here?” Eddie continued, angrily turning off the shower faucet, “‘You forget to pick back up heterosexuality at the door?” 

“I’ve got a flat tire.” Steve grumbled, too exhausted to even bother biting back at that comment.

He couldn’t stand being stuck in his wet clothes a moment longer, and so he hoisted up his shirt, peeling it off of himself in the most uncomfortable fashion. 

“The storm’s too crazy. I can’t see enough to change it.” He shuddered, immediately even colder now his chest was bare. 

“What’re you doing?” Eddie eyed him up and down, still no-less startled. 

“I’m soaked-“

“I’m kind of preoccupied here!” He cut Steve off, twisting his nude body away to better hide his junk. 

“We literally just fucked!” Steve gawped as he tugged off his jeans and kicked them aside, completely bewildered by Eddie’s sudden modesty. 

“I wasn’t- flacid- then…”

“You’re insane.” Steve rolled his eyes before suddenly feeling another bone-trembling shudder overwhelm him, “Shit-“

Eddie seemed to calm then, finally realising just how uncomfortable Steve truly was. 

“Just- get in there.” He ushered, stepping out of the tub.

And in the brief moment before Eddie wrapped a towel around his waist, Steve caught a glance at the marks scratched across his hips and calves. Steve’s marks. 

“Warm up.” Eddie instructed, “I’ll leave some dry clothes at the door.” 

Steve could do little else but nod. He stepped under the shower and turned the faucet back on, unable to stop the groan of bliss that escaped his lips as the hot water hit him. 

Though whether or not Eddie had hung around long enough to catch that was a mystery to him. 

Steve spent a long time in the shower, scrubbing every inch of dirt and grime and sweat from his skin until he felt fresh and new. 

Eddie had left him a pair of grey sweatpants at the door. They were a little too snug for Steve’s hips, not that there was much to do about it. And then he saw the T-Shirt, 

“Dick.” Steve scoffed, no real malice to his words as he pulled the Hellfire Club tee over his head. 

Out in the living room, Eddie was hovering over the phone at the wall, pressing buttons and tugging at the cord of the receiver. 

“What’re you doing?” Steve asked, still scrubbing a towel through his damp hair. 

“‘Lines are dead.” Eddie sighed, hooking the phone back up on the wall, “Wayne should be back by now.”

The sleeves on his sweater were worn and baggy, most likely the result of pulling at the fabric just as Eddie was doing right then. He had nothing on his bottom half, save his boxer shorts, and Steve wondered briefly if Eddie had sacrificed his only casual slacks to him. 

Eddie was anxious, scared even, Steve knew that look on the other guy’s face well enough, it was one of the strongest images etched into his brain. Eddie- his eyes wild and shining- holding that glass bottle to Steve’s throat-

“He’s probably held up by the storm.” Steve reasoned, shaking off the memory, “He’ll just stay at work ‘till it passes.”

Eddie remained unconvinced. 

“He can’t know you were here…” he said under his breath, which annoyed Steve more than he cared to admit. 

“Why not? He knows that your gay, right?”

“Sure, but not that I’m inviting guys over to hook up with.” Eddie clicked his tongue, shaking his head, “He’s still my Da- whatever.”

That seemed to only embarrass him further, and he turned his head away, looking out the rain-splattered kitchen window, 

“You wouldn’t want your parents to know about everybody you sneak up into your room, right?”

“Point taken.” Steve settled, resting against the wall.

He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. There was no point in leaving now, he’d just end up stranded and soaking wet all over again. 

On the other hand, Eddie still wasn’t exactly enthused to see him. And frankly after their spat Steve was inclined to share in the sentiment too. 

Yet in spite of it all, Steve still wanted Eddie to be happy, rather frustratingly so. He cared about his well-being, and his opinion, and his, well, his everything. 

Whether or not Eddie wanted him in return was benign. Steve couldn’t simply turn off his feelings. Much like how he couldn’t force Eddie to adore him the way he already did. 

“He’ll be fine.” Steve smiled painfully, swallowing down the pang rising from his chest, “It’ll just be the storm holding him up.”

Eddie didn’t answer him, maybe didn’t even hear him at all. 

He paced across the room to the small television set by the couch, flicking it on and watching the screen turn to struggling static. 

“Piece of junk…” Eddie huffled, rattling the machine and pushing at various buttons, all to no avail. 

“Are you not hearing me?” Steve tried again, his annoyance quick to return, “Storm. Thunder. Lightning. A massive downpour of rain? Practically a monsoon!”

“This is Indiana. It isn’t a monsoon.” Eddie replied lamely, not pulling his eyes away from the television set.

“I said practically .”

It was hopeless. Steve let out a final huff of frustration before collapsing down into one of the little chairs by the breakfast nook.

He traced the grain and scratches carved into the plastic table top, aged by so much use over the years. The Munsons, Wayne and Eddie, eating meals together, talking about their days, enjoying one another’s company. 

Steve couldn’t remember the last time he ate at a kitchen table, nevermind with his parents. That thought was a sour one. It was a feeling Steve didn’t often have, but a flaw he had little control over suppressing when it did take over. 

He should have been happy for Eddie, and in a way he was, truly. The spark in his eye when he looked at his Uncle was a special kind of joy. And while Steve loved that Eddie had that to hold on to, it was hard not to be a little jealous.

Jealous not only because he never had that sort of bond with his parents, and easily never would; but also, regrettably, jealous that Eddie wouldn’t give Steve that same kind of love and attention too, no matter how much he craved it.

It was as though Eddie was holding back, always. Never wholly revealing himself. Never daring to bare his soul in front of anyone other than Wayne. 

And it frustrated Steve to no end because he could see something, right there in the deep black swells of Eddie’s eyes. He knew he felt something else, something he wasn’t bold enough to really acknowledge. 

Steve didn’t know whether or not it concerned him, he didn’t feel lucky enough to presume. But it was that not knowing , that’s what ate at him. What fueled his rage and what made him lash out the way he did next,

“Would you quit messing with that?” He slammed the towel down against the kitchen table (as much as you can slam a towel anyways), “God forbid you actually talk to me instead.”

Eddie’s hand froze over the television dials. 

“You seemed happy enough to be in my company, what, an hour ago?” Steve continued bitterly, folding his arms over his chest. 

And then it was Eddie’s turn to bark back-

“Fine.” He near-shouted, standing up swiftly and marching over to the kitchen table,

“You wanna talk? Let’s talk.” He sat down opposite Steve, splaying his hands out against the table, “Go on.”

Steve was a little bit taken aback. With Eddie close now he could see the seriousness in his eyes, the burning mix of rage and something unusual he couldn’t quite place. 

It was attractive, Steve hated to admit, and he swallowed down his nerves, finding his mouth had turned incredibly dry. 

Say something . Anything! 

“Did you catch the Pacers game on Saturday?” He blabbed, immediately humiliated by his own idiocy. 

The look that Eddie gave him only proceeded to match that sentiment. He blinked, once, twice, before sighing and leaving the table. 

Steve’s patience dwindled, and he snapped back once again, 

“What exactly is your problem?”

“Are you deaf?” Eddie turned back to look at him, face screwed up in a bewildered grimace, ”This needs to stop!“

“ This , this, what is this ?” Steve flayed his arms about himself, feeling slightly hysterical at this point. 

Eddie was no better, so angry and confused that he seemed to be shaking with the conflicting weight of his emotions. 

“ This- feelings- b-bullshit!” He spat out each word in a stammer, “It’s too much! This was supposed to be a casual thing! That’s all!”

Oh, so they were doing this? Because Steve had known casual. Better yet, he was Mr. Casual for a long, long time. But that wasn’t what this was, and Steve was ready to die on that hill if he had to. He wasn’t going to give up Eddie, not without a fight. 

“I don’t buy into that crap!” Steve stood, almost knocking over the entire kitchen table as he did, 

“What?” 

“ Oh please come over Steve!” He whined, full of over-exaggerated, needy pleading, “ You’re so good to me! Don’t you look so perfect for Eddie? Here, I made a mixtape for you, let's listen to Billy Joel while I suck your dick ! Yeah, real fucking casual Ed!” 

Eddie’s mouth dropped open, which would have been utterly hilarious if Steve wasn’t so damn pissed off. 

The other guy didn’t quite seem to know what to do with himself. It was if he had been winded or lost the ability to structure a sentence entirely. 

“Was that supposed to be me?” He croaked, utterly dumbfounded, “Talking about myself in the third person?”

And when he put it that way, well it did sound completely ridiculous. 

“Well I- um-“ 

“I have never done that in my life.” He cut Steve off, and it was then that the corners of his lips began to tug upwards. 

He was smiling . 

“That was terrible. That was so so bad!” Eddie shook his head, a hiccup of laughter escaping him. 

It was as infectious as it was unexpected. 

“Okay okay!” Steve doubled over, hardly able to suppress his own embarrassing snort of laughter, “It was pretty terrible…”

The moment didn’t last long, and soon enough their faint laughter died down entirely, silence overcoming them. 

Eddie dropped down onto the couch, pulling his legs up onto the cushions. He took a breath,

“I’m sorry for what I said before.” He spoke gently, twirling the rings on his fingers round and round, “That was… mean.”

He looked smaller then somehow. The sleeves of his sweater slightly too big, bunching up at his wrists. His legs bare and curled up to his chest, toes wiggling anxiously with every word he said. 

Steve couldn’t stay mad at him. As much as it would probably be easier, probably help him get over these feelings a whole lot quicker. 

“I guess I just hadn’t expected to be rejected so… viciously…” He struggled, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck.

Because all Steve could really do was tell the truth, and hope Eddie took as much comfort in that as he did. Maybe then they could move on. 

“It wasn’t a rejection.” Eddie said, so quietly that Steve was sure he’d misheard it, “It’s just- I don’t know how to handle that sort of thing.”

It wasn’t a rejection . 

“Why?” Steve asked, not daring yet to approach that first part. 

“Because that just doesn’t happen to people like me.” Eddie turned to look out the window, tracing a finger over the raindrops running down the glass. 

It wasn’t news to Steve that Eddie was, well, insecure. He put up a great front, sure. But a lot of that bravado was a sort of armour, a shield to keep him from getting hurt. 

Being the town pariah was never going to be easy. Even after clearing his name, the mantle of Freak hadn’t quite escaped Eddie. Better yet, trying to find love (or meaningful connections at the very least) as a queer man living in the backwash Midwest was all-but impossible. 

But even so, Steve didn’t mind his odds. He wasn’t often a gambling man, but when it counted, really counted, then there was no doubt about it: he was all in.

“Says who?” He hummed lightly, not even entertaining the idea of the hundreds that would no-doubt do Eddie wrong. 

“Says everything. Everyone.” Eddie sniffed, a pained smile on his face, “You’re Steve Harrington for God’s sake.”

Steve took the few steps across the room needed to meet Eddie, and dropped to his knees in front of him. 

“That means nothing.” He breathed, hesitating a moment before touching a hand to Eddie’s ankle, a small but sincere gesture to let him know that he was serious. 

“Not to the people out there.” Eddie shook his head, and up close Steve could see the slight watery glisten in his eyes, “And not to me.”

“Well, what does it mean to you?”

“ Ha… a lot of things.” Eddie bowed his head, bashful and unsure.

It was dark out, and with only the weak light of the ceiling lamp overhead, Steve might well have mistaken the pink tint in Eddie’s cheeks. But if he had ever thought there was a chance for them, it was now. A chance that Eddie might feel the same way. That they might work. 

He wet his lips, and opened his mouth to speak-

But the ring of the phone at the wall beat him to it.

Eddie offered Steve a truly apologetic smile as he stood, hurrying over to the landline, 

“Hello?” He spoke hurriedly, his face immediately screwing up in struggling understanding. The line must have still been patchy from the storm.

“Yeah I hear you.” He nodded, holding the receiver incredibly close, “Yeah… okay. Are you- yeah. I’m fine.”

Steve couldn’t make out a word of the exchange from the other end. But given how Eddie’s shoulders had relaxed, that intense worry fast to leave him, Steve assumed that it was good news.

“Okay… love you too.” Eddie finished up the call rather timidly, casting a quick glance to Steve before hanging the phone up. 

He rubbed at his face, a pretty poor attempt at masking his sniffling, though Steve wasn’t about to embarrass Eddie by commenting on it. 

“Told you he’d be alright.” Steve smiled, standing up from the floor and lounging against the couch. 

Eddie was no closer to being cheered up.

“…Yep.” He said slowly, still toying with the phone cord.

Something was still obviously wrong. Then Steve remembered what Eddie had said, about Wayne seeing him here at the house, 

“You good? Do I need to go?” He asked in a worry, already preparing to take his leave. 

“No I- uh- it’s fine.” Eddie shushed him, and Steve remained still, sinking back down onto the couch as Eddie continued to speak, “He’s gonna stay in Indy tonight ‘til the storm passes.”

“Indy?” Steve frowned, not catching on, “I thought he was at work?”

But had Eddie ever actually said that? Steve couldn’t remember. 

“No… no he, um, he went to see his brother.” Eddie said then, and it was so full of shame and full of heartache that it made even Steve feel a little weak himself. 

“His brother- but isn’t that your-“

“No.” Eddie near-snapped, a fierce look about him, “He doesn’t get to use that word. He’s never done anything to deserve it.” 

Steve didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say. None of this was any of his business, and was clearly the cause of a lot of deep-rooted trauma for Eddie. 

But Steve couldn’t just leave it at that. He couldn’t bear to see Eddie suffer through a pain that he didn’t understand. 

“I didn’t realise your Uncle still talked to him… I thought he was in-“

“Prison? Used to be. He’ll probably end up back there sooner or later.” Edddie shrugged, “Wayne went to go settle some cash.”

“Cash? For what? To look after you?”

“Ha… no.” Eddie shook his head, and when standing seemed to become too much of an effort he slumped back against the kitchen counter, “No it’s not like that.”

“I don’t understand?”

Eddie took a breath then, the air seeming to rattle against his chest with the way he shuddered,

“Wayne is giving him money… to keep him away from Hawkins. To… to keep him away from me.”

Steve caught Eddie’s eye, only for a moment, though it seemed to be enough to set the other man on edge. He didn’t want the sympathy Steve had to offer. Or rather, he didn’t know how to take it.

“I honestly thought that he’d forgotten about me when he got out.” Eddie brushed off, lamely pottering around the kitchen, reorganising mugs and sifting through drawers just to give himself something to do, 

“But I think… after seeing everything in the news… about Chrissy and the rest of it, I guess he wanted- someone to relate to, maybe? I dunno… It’s fucked.”

“Eddie…” Steve tried, not sure at all of what he could really do to help.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Eddie blagged, shaking off Steve’s worry as if it were little more than a casual occurrence,

“If a couple of hundred is all I’m worth then that’s great. Keeps him away and it’s cheap in the long run. It’s a win-win.”

There was clearly more that Eddie wanted to say. Whether or not he could find the words was a different matter, and one Steve doubted they would conquer over the course of one night.

“It’s not like I even want him back… it’s just- I wanted to feel-“ Wanted. That’s what Eddie had tried to say.

‘You are. More than anything else you could possibly imagine.’

If Steve had the strength, he might have told Eddie that. It was the truth after all.

“You hungry? It’s way past dinner.” Eddie hummed, already opening the kitchen cabinets. 

“I could eat.” Steve conceded. There was no good to be had in forcing the conversation out if Eddie wasn’t ready.

“Hows about spaghetti-Os. This one’s got sausage.”

“I am rather partial to a good sausage.”

“Never say that again. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“I am completely innocent of all accusations put onto me.” Steve raised his hands in defence, making his way over to the kitchen.

“Mhm. There’s some bread up in that cupboard there. Put on some toast would you?”

Steve obliged and the pair of them set to work, easily manoeuvring around one another in the small kitchen. 

As the scent of rich tomato sauce filled the air, Steve breathed out a content sigh, leaning over Eddie’s shoulder to watch the pasta bubble.

“My Mom would never let me have this stuff growing up. Called it Lazy Boy Food.”

“Well, not all of us can afford to be stay-at-home Mom’s with rich husbands, Carol.” Eddie snorted, stirring over the sauce.

“My Mom’s name is Tracy.”

“It is?”

“Yes!”

“Then who’s Carol?”

“To hell if I know.”

Eddie fetched them both a beer and they toasted to that, clinking their bottles together in a fit of unadulterated laughter.

Only a minute or two later and the pasta was ready. Eddie spooned each of them a portion into a couple of the larger and less hideous mugs from the Munson’s egregious collection. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Steve asked, blowing over his food once the pair of them had settled around the dining table.

“Shoot.”

“What’s with all of the mugs?”

Eddie looked up from his toast, which he had been strategically cutting all of the crust edges from. He admired the collection for himself.

“Call it an old hyperfixation of mine. Sweet little me couldn’t go any place without picking up a new coffee mug for Wayne. Didn’t matter that I hadn’t a dollar to my ten-year-old name. Some of these are literally just from trips to the grocery store.” 

He blew onto his spoon, steam still rising and tickling at his cheeks,

“Yup. Crazy that the Hawkins District School Board didn’t want to consider autism...”

Steve dropped the corner of (Eddie’s) toast he’d been dipping into his mug. 

“You’re autistic?” He stared wide-eyed, genuinely a little bit startled.

“Potentially. I think so. Pretty hard to get tested for it. But it uh, it makes sense. Though most people just think I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” Steve was quick to retort, “You’re one of the smartest people I know.” 

“I thought you were popular?” 

“Shut up. I’m serious.” 

Eddie did settle then, taking Steve for his word. He prodded around at the pasta shapes at the bottom of his mug for a quiet moment, until he finally spoke again, 

“…I’ve never told that to anybody before.” He whispered, a whole lot quieter then. 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” Steve smiled. 

He was proud, insanely so. But he also figured the last thing Eddie would want him to do would be to make a big deal out of it. 

Even so, he was still curious,

“How did you know?”

“What?” Eddie frowned, seemingly taken aback by Steve’s enthusiasm to know more. 

“That you were autistic? Was it like how you always knew you were gay? Or different?”

Eddie regarded Steve for a moment longer, as if he was still trying to unravel why Steve would want to know about such a thing. 

When he found his answer, he masked the rose-tinted smile on his face with the palm of his hand, 

“Different. And the same. I used to think everybody thought about things the way I did. When I figured out that they didn’t I felt so isolated, even more so than when I figured I was into guys.-

“It was Wayne who brought the idea of it up. One of his cousins had been… different… too. The doctors said so. Or… the word they used for people like us back then anyways. You done with that?” 

Eddie stood, taking his and Steve’s empty mugs over to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry.” Steve spoke softly, toying with his hands, “That can’t have been easy to deal with as a kid.”

“Don’t be.” Eddie shrugged, entirely indifferent, “It’s not as if it’s a bad thing. Actually, there was something kind of therapeutic about understanding everything a little bit better.”

He filled up the sink with soapy water only to leave the dirty mugs to soak, 

“Anyway, why am I the only one bearing their heart and soul tonight? It’s your turn.”

“I’m an open book.”

“Okay you most-definitely are not . I hardly ever know what it is you’re thinking.”

“Maybe that’s just the autism?” 

“Fuck you. Oh- shit- wait- you’re right.” 

Steve stood, pacing the living area a little before his eyes fell onto a beaten up book by the couch, 

“Is this yours?” 

“You’re deflecting.” Eddie smirked. 

“I’m curious.” 

“Yes. It is.”

Steve picked up the book, turning it over in his hands as he fell back against the couch,

“The Myth of Sissy- Sis-a-“

“Sisyphus.” Eddie corrected, joining him, a lot closer than probably necessary. 

“Is this another one of your Dragons and Dingbats things?”

“You’re a pain.” Eddie scoffed, knocking his knee against Steve’s, “It’s a Greek Tragedy. About this guy who pisses off the God Hades. Ended up with a curse on him to push this great big rock up a mountain over and over again for the rest of time.”

“Sounds like a real riveting read.”

“It’s not actually about that. It’s a philosophy book.” Eddie carried on, taking the book from Steve and flicking through it. A lot of the pages were folded over and even scored with hastily written notes, 

“You see, Albert Camus, he’s all concerned about the meaning of life. Why we are here. Existential shit like that.” Eddie found the page he was looking for, “Here,”

He sneaked silent permission from Steve, who let his body fall against Eddie’s, his back near-enough flush to his chest. And with the both of them comfortable, Eddie cleared his throat, and read, 

“These scents of grass and stars at night, certain evenings when the heart relaxes - how shall I negate this world whose power and strength I feel? Yet all the knowledge on earth will give me nothing to assure me that this world is mine.”

With each word that slipped by Eddie’s lips, Steve felt the heat of it at the back of his neck. Eddie’s breath, tickling at his skin, nerve-wracking and enticing in equal measure. 

“You describe it to me and you teach me to classify it. You enumerate its laws and in my thirst for knowledge I admit that they are true. You take apart its mechanism and my hope increases. At the final stage you teach me that this wondrous and multi-coloured universe can be reduced to the atom and that the atom itself can be reduced to the election.”

If it were anybody else, Steve doubted he would fully comprehend the words spoken to him. But with Eddie- complex poetry though it might have been- Steve found himself utterly captivated, bound completely by the low baritone and levelled passion of Eddie’s voice. 

“All this is good and I wait for you to continue. But you tell me of an invisible planetary system in which electrons gravitate around a nucleus. You explain this world to me with an image. I realise then that you have been reduced to poetry: I shall never know.”

Eddie closed the book, settling it down in his lap. 

“That’s…” Steve tried, but words soon failed him. 

“A lot?”

“So life is meaningless? Is that what he’s saying?”

Steve wasn’t sure whether or not to be comforted by it. The way Eddie spoke those words into existence had made him want to be, full of a wise sophistication well beyond anything Steve could ever compare to. 

But at the same time it made him feel sad. Mournful of an existence he couldn’t possibly hope to understand. 

“Not meaningless… just, complex.” Eddie hummed, “It can’t be pinned down.”

“Can’t it?” 

Steve turned around, nothing but mere inches between their faces now. 

“No. It cannot.” Eddie said slowly, and Steve was sure he saw his eyes cast downwards to his lips. 

But almost as soon as it happened, Eddie spoke again, leaning backwards, a darish grin on his face, 

“Now it is definitely your turn for a question.”

“Alright, fine. What is it that you want to know?”

Eddie’s eyes widened. 

“And you’re gonna tell me the truth?“

“Why wouldn’t I?” Steve shrugged, shifting away from Eddie to face him head-on, “I trust you.”

Eddie rubbed at his chin, the shit-eating smirk on his face only growing, 

“Alrighty then. Did you ever have a crush on Robin? Before you knew she played for the Lebanese national team I mean?” 

“She’s a knockout. Any girl would be lucky to have her.”

“Is that a yes?”

Steve raised his beer to his lips. 

“It so is. What about Wheeler?”

“What about her?” Steve frowned, already dreading the thought of unearthing that whole saga once more. 

“‘You still got a thing for her?”

“I’m sort of preoccupied these days.” Steve deflected, turning the question back on Eddie, “You’re not subtle. What’s with the interest?”

The metalhead remained unfazed, and he buried his bare toes under Steve’s legs to escape the cold. 

“Just warming you up. ‘You ready for the real one?” Eddie wiggled his feet, tickling at Steve’s thighs. 

Steve nodded, and while he saw Eddie try to keep the smile on his face as best he could, the was a pain there too, an anxiousness, 

“Would you prefer it if I were a girl?” He said, so incredibly small, anticipating the worst already. 

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly, actually.”

Steve didn’t even have to think about his answer. 

“No.”

“No?” Eddie looked away, rubbing tiredly at his face, “It would make your life a helluva lot easier.”

“Maybe so. But where’s the fun in that?” Steve smirked, taking the opportunity to snatch at one of Eddie’s ankles and run his finger over the sole of his foot. 

With an ungraceful yelp, Eddie was quick to kick himself free. Though Steve wasn’t about to let him go that easily. Instead he settled for lunging forward, trapping Eddie beneath him, arms pinned at either side of his head. 

“I’m not wife material.” Eddie near-croaked, chin dipped to his chest to try and mask some of the blush blossoming over him. 

Those intimate, passion-driven nerves only charged Steve’s courage further. 

“I disagree.” He smiled, taking the time to admire the way Eddie’s long curls of hair spread out from under him, “You cook. You dry my clothes.”

“Fuck off.”

“And if it wasn't glaringly obvious already…” Steve dropped his face to Eddie’s ear, whispering delicate and sultry, “I fucking love your pussy.”

Eddie made a noise as though he’d been winded. He shoved Steve lightly, far back enough that he could look at him properly, 

“Idiot.”

“You’re bright red.” Steve beamed at the sight of Eddie flustered. 

“It’s the light.”

“No it’s not.”

“Then it’s the storm.” Eddie rolled his eyes, folding his arms tight over his chest, “I’m cold.”

“Want me to warm you up?” Steve hummed, worming his arm between Eddie and the couch, hugging around the small of the man’s back and holding him close. 

Eddie let out a shaky breath, his eyes casting downwards to Steve’s lips once more. 

This time Steve didn’t write it off. He knew what it meant, or at the very least, what he hoped for. He closed the gap between them, careful not to rush, capturing Eddie’s bottom lip sensitivity between his own. 

Eddie returned the pressure only for a moment before he pulled away, turning his cheek to Steve. He let out a slight pained breath, and screwed his eyes shut. 

“Ed…” Steve whispered, desperate.

“We don’t do this .” Eddie strained, seeming to battle every urge he had, all of them aching for Steve, “Not when we’re not…”

“Why?”

“Because it’s different.”

“I want things to be different…” Steve swallowed the last of fears. To hell with the prospect of rejection, he simply couldn’t bear the thought of not trying. 

He lifted a hand to Eddie’s cheek, 

“And… I think that you do too.”

Fresh tears swelled in the whites of Eddie’s eyes. He laughed, scared and delighted all at once,

“You’re a smartass.” He grinned, jaw wobbling as he bit back his tears, 

“Is that a no?”

“No. It isn’t.” Eddie shook his head, and in all of his unchecked joy, Steve thought he might implode right then and there.

He kissed Eddie again, quickly this time, peppering his lips and cheeks and chin with swift notes of affection. 

“I’ve never done this before Steve.” Eddie breathed him in, burying his nose into Steve’s hair.

“I’ve never done this well .”

“Great. So our chances of lasting are slim?” He felt Eddie chuckle under him, his whole chest warm. 

“But not impossible.” Steve corrected, kissing Eddie’s temple, “I’m an optimist.”

“So does this mean no more steamy jerk off sessions? Do we revert back to First Base?” Eddie raised a teasing brow, coming back into his usual self. 

“Not unless you want to. I’d like to consider us more like a Triple Play. Super rare. And real fucking cool.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Steve rubbed his thumb against Eddie’s cheek. Slightly rough, worn both by a violent history and his natural imperfections. Eddie was not soft like typical romance would have it, but Steve loved him all the more for it. 

“It means I’ve cared for you longer than is probably wise to admit.” Steve breathed, losing himself a little bit as he searched Eddie’s face, drinking in every inch of him, “And that I think about you. Morning…. Noon… And night.”

Eddie kissed him first then, and soon the pair of them were breathing deep through their noses, unwilling to let one another go.

Their mouths opened under one another, all wet tongues and knocking teeth, unorganised and untrained. They knew one another's bodies so well, and yet this all felt so different, fresh and exciting in a way neither of them could quite get enough of. 

Steve grabbed at every piece of Eddie he could, hands rubbing up and down his chest, his arms, and the tops of his bare legs. And even then he wanted more, needed to be closer, closer-

“I want you.” He gasped against Eddie’s mouth, rolling his entire body against the other man’s, hips grinding together, slow, burning-

“How?” Eddie bit at Steve’s bottom lip, his own hands having found their way into Steve’s hair, threads entirely disheveled. 

“Huh?”

Eddie pulled away from Steve, eyes dark and full of possibility.

“How do you want me?” 

Steve knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted it for the longest time, and yet was always too afraid to act on those feelings. Too afraid to expose himself to the vulnerability of it all when he knew it would be the end of the straight-faced, boy-next-door facade still tethered to him. 

“Really?” Steve wet his lips, voice trembling slightly, “I want you to make love to me.”

If Eddie was surprised he said nothing. Though Steve could see the ever-so subtle raise of his brows, and the way his jaw set firm. 

“I want you to treat me nice.” Steve continued, tracing a finger down the length of Eddie’s neck, over the scarring there and down to his collarbone, “Make me feel…”

He stopped himself. Too much, he figured, ever-cautious of scaring Eddie away. 

But Eddie seemed to read Steve’s mind all the same, and he breathed, small and startled, 

“Loved?” 

“Loved.” Steve nodded, unable to lie. “Sorry. I know that’s sort of sudden- I just-“

“I want that too.” Eddie was quick to cut him off, and in the second that he did, Steve felt a throb of immense desire thunder beneath his ribcage. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

Their kisses grew even messier from there. Neither of them seemed eager enough to take the lead, merely rolling around the couch, curling into one another and feeling every inch of skin that they could. 

There was no talk of moving things to the bedroom, no need for the distraction of leaving one another's lips untended, even for a moment. 

Eddie had been sucking and nipping his way along Steve’s jaw when he tugged at the Hellfire shirt hanging off his shoulders, 

“Let’s get this off.” 

“You picked it out.” 

“Because you look cute when you’re annoyed.” Eddie kissed the pout off Steve’s lips. 

“I like wearing your clothes.” Steve admitted shyly, recalling how he would search out Eddie’s scent in his denim vest long after he should have returned it.

“I like to see you wearing them.” Eddie loosened his hands on the shirt, letting Steve keep it on. 

He focused his attention lower, mouth grazing down Steve’s chest, eyes fluttered closed. He wasn’t exactly kissing him, but rather breathing him in, nurtured as if he were as important as oxygen. 

When Eddie reached the hem of the grey sweatpants bunching tightly around Steve’s hips, he hesitated a moment, searching for approval.

Chewing at his bottom lip, Steve nodded, hardly able to suppress the sigh of relief that escaped him when his erection sprang free. 

But Eddie didn’t focus his attention there, not at first anyways. He sat up just long enough to use the hair tie at his wrist to pull back his curls before he dipped his mouth to Steve’s stomach. He kissed his way down Steve’s hips, then in between his thighs, nipping and sucking at the skin all the while. 

Steve was a gasping wreck, trembling with excitement beneath Eddie’s touch. He jutted his hips up on instinct, which Eddie promptly ignored, lightly forcing Steve to be still with the palm of his hand. 

“Ed…Eddie… come on…” he whined, desperate for more contact. 

“Steve… you’re gonna drive me crazy sounding like that.” Eddie near-gasped against Steve’s thigh, before urgently shifting to Steve’s balls, taking what he could into his mouth.

“Oh God oh God-“ Steve cried, a hand gripping tightly into Eddie’s tied curls of hair, the other bracing himself at the couch, fearful he was somehow about to sink inside of the cushions forever. 

Eddie was messy, obscene noises leaving him as he licked and sucked at Steve’s balls and around the base of his cock, his entire mouth wet. 

Without warning he tucked his hands under Steve’s hips, hoisting them off of the couch. He pulled the down sweatpants to Steve’s knees and hooked both legs over his left shoulder. Before Steve could even process what was happening Eddie licked a long trail up the cleft of his ass. He pulled Steve’s cheeks apart as best he could while supporting his weight, and shoved his face inside.

“FUCK- OH FUCK-“ Steve yelped, his entire body burning red. 

Eddie’s mouth, his tongue, Steve was utterly bound by it. He could process little else, and doubted he would want to even if granted the choice. 

Eddie worked frantically, he licked around and darted inside of him, essentially fucking Steve with his tongue. 

Steve had little comprehension of how long it lasted, too busy feeling as though he was on a different plain existence entirely. But when Eddie pulled away there was an immediate absence there. Steve looked down to see Eddie’s chest heaving, his lips plump, cheeks pink: It was the most beautiful Steve had ever seen him. 

“You’re gonna wake the entire trailer park.” Eddie laughed, breathless and ecstatic. . 

“P-please-“ Steve panted, his entire body quaking, “please fuck me…”

Eddie didn’t need asking again. He drew himself up to Steve’s face, kissing him fiercely before he stood, 

“Let me just grab some lube.”

In the moments Eddie was gone Steve kicked off the sweatpants the rest of the way, leaving them in abandon on the floor. He took hold of his leaking cock, wincing slightly at the sensitivity of it, still feeling slightly overused. 

When Eddie returned he stopped dead in his tracks at the end of the corridor, mouth slightly agape.

“What?” Steve huffed, rubbing at himself lazily. 

“Just you. It’s like you're some nudest model lounging there like that.” Eddie mused, making a frame with his fingers and thumbs and bringing it up to his eyes, “Like a ‘70s pin-up.” 

“Get over here already you dork.” Steve snorted, opening his arms wide for Eddie to fall between, squeezing one another in a tight hug. 

Eddie sat back on his heels as he poured some of the lube over his fingers, 

“You’re sure you’re okay with this now?” He asked, eyes wide with worry.

“Please. I want you so badly.” Steve nodded frantically, keeping his arms hung around Eddie’s neck. 

With a bob of his throat Eddie hardened his resolve. He dropped his slicked hand between Steve’s legs, stroking his way around before his fingers eventually pressed inwards. 

Already worked open by Eddie’s tongue, two of his fingers slipped into Steve with relative ease. Eddie pushed in all the way to his knuckles before holding still to give Steve a chance to get used to the sensation.

It wasn’t much different to Steve’s own, deeper by far, but the burn of being stretched was similar. He moved his hips onto Eddie’s fingers slowly until he felt comfortable, and finally urged him to move. 

Steve’s light breaths grew rhythmic, his bottom lip trembling each time Eddie’s fingers moved in and out of him. Eddie captured the noises with his own mouth, moving against Steve’s with a slow, gentle pressure. 

“I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up any second…” Eddie whispered against Steve’s lips. 

“What?”

“If I’m dreaming, would you let me know?” His eyes peaked open, glowing in a way that made Steve’s legs feel weak, “Because I can’t quite believe I’m so lucky right now.” 

Steve pulled Eddie’s face down his neck, and buried his own into his dark curls, Eddie’s scent overwhelming every inch of him. 

“Well believe it.” He said firmly, “This is real. ”

Spurred on by Steve’s words, Eddie’s fingers moved faster, curling up into Steve until he found the spot that lit Steve up like a match, 

“YES- THERE -“ he gasped, clawing at the back of Eddie’s sweater. 

Eddie rubbed his fingers there a little more frantically, causing Steve to yelp out the most insane noise he figured he’d ever made. Though before Steve could lose himself completely, Eddie seemed to find the will to stop, pulling his fingers free. 

“Steve… shit…” he breathed, grasping at the front of his boxer shorts, a wet patch forming at the tip of his stiff erection. 

Steve could hardly bear it, he needed Eddie inside of him. Now. He reached out blindly to find Eddie’s hips, tugging him as close as he could. Eddie appeared to get the message well enough. 

“I’ll go slow.” He nodded, tugging his briefs down just as much as necessary, “Just tell me to stop.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Steve nodded, finding Eddie’s dick and rubbing at him rather frantically, causing the other man to grunt, his head hanging low as he let out a guttural moan. 

Eddie snatched hold of Steve’s hips, tugging him down and raising him up, encouraging Steve to wrap his legs around his waist. 

Without even meaning to Steve took a sharp intake of air, holding it in his mouth and screwing his eyes closed as the tip of Eddie’s cock lined up with his ass. 

Eddie leaned close to Steve’s ear, catching his lobe between his teeth lightly before he whispered, low and commanding,

“ Breathe .” 

And as Steve did just that, Eddie thrust his hips forward. Steve choked on air, his eyes shooting wide as he felt himself be pushed open, clenching desperately around Eddie.

“Ed- ED-“

“You alright?” Eddie asked instantly, reaching a hand to cradle at Steve’s cheek and searching every corner of his face for discomfort. 

“Y-yes!” Steve leaned into Eddie’s touch, kissing at his palm, “Move- you- can move!”

Eddie drew back almost completely before pushing into Steve again, a chorus of moans leaving the both of them as he did. He found a rhythm easily, not too fast, but deep, only pulling out of Steve a little before rutting back into him. 

Steve’s heels dug into the small of Eddie’s back, his whole body rocking with each thrust. 

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” He blabbered on, barely comprehensible, “I want you to feel good too.”

Eddie’s forehead fell against Steve’s own, his eyes sparkling, 

“Oh I feel so good!” He laughed, the most ecstatic Steve had ever seen another human being. 

Steve joined him, giggling against Eddie’s lips when they next kissed. He let his mouth venture further, no stone left unturned. He kissed Eddie's cheeks, his chin, his jaw, and when he reached his neck his teeth nipped at his skin, smoothing over the bites with his tongue when he’d finished. 

“Fuck- Steve!” Eddie groaned, each stroke of his tongue fueling him further, more intensely, more urgently- 

“Ah- ah- there! Right there!” Steve cried out when Eddie hit his prostate again, and from then on it was relentless. 

Eddie snapped his hips up into Steve with frenzied strength, and as best he could Steve matched that pace, grinding back onto Eddie’s cock as if it were made for him. 

“God- I can’t-“ Eddie gasped, his movements fast turning uneven, “I’m close Steve!”

“Let me feel you- wanna feel you-“ Steve clung to Eddie’s neck, overcome by all that he felt, love, passion, release, “I just want you…”

And while Steve never used to believe so much in powers of the mind, of thought and of feeling, he had lived an existence that completely tore any natural laws he once understood to shreds. He didn’t know if Eddie understood what he was really thinking, not truly. Yet somehow he had managed to say exactly the right thing-

“You have me! I’m yours- I’m all yours-“

The words Steve needed to purge his own self-doubts, and to understand, finally , what it meant to adore and be adored with equal measure. 

When Eddie came it was mostly silent, his hips snapping up into Steve one last time, burying himself deep as the shockwaves of his climax rippled through him. His shoulders strained, arms tensed, and Steve watched as a couple of stray beads of sweat ran down the back of his neck, disappearing under the collar of his jumper. 

Eddie wasted no more than half a minute before he licked at his bruised lips, and reached out to grab hold of Steve, 

“Here- let me-“ but Steve placed a hand over Eddie’s, gentle to tug him away. 

“I’m okay! I-I’m okay…” he panted, lost for breath himself. 

Steve felt as though he climaxed, he really thought he had . Except-

“I think… I think I just ran out of cum...” he mumbled awkwardly, a struggling smile on the corner of his lips.

Eddie huffed out a laugh, dropping his head to Steve’s shoulder with a groan, 

“God. You’re so lame.” 

“Wow.” Steve answered, hardly having the energy to fake offence, “Love you too.”

He realised what he said not a second later. Idiot .

Steve felt his entire face flame, not exactly sure how it was possible to be even more flustered than he already was. 

He opened his mouth to protest his own words, but nothing more than a meek stammer left him,  

“Sorry-“ he tried, eyes immediately casting downwards. 

But before Steve could entirely process his shame, Eddie’s hand was at his chin, tugging him back up. His lips caught Steve’s own, earnest and easy. There was no hesitation between them, not in the slightest. 

When he pulled away Steve had to force himself not to cry, something that would have been utterly humiliating had Eddie not already seen him sobbing over dick a mere two hours ago. 

“Never apologise for that.” Eddie demanded, a fierce sort of certainty in his eyes, one Steve could not hope to refuse. 

He settled, secure in the knowledge that his love was cared for.

It didn’t matter if Eddie didn’t say it back, if he didn’t feel ready just yet or if he never would. Steve knew that his heart was in safe hands, and that there was no shame to be had in falling hard or falling first. 

The moment passed when Eddie finally pulled out of Steve. He cringed at the sensation, wet and sticky and kind of gross, all things considered. 

“Now, uh-“ Eddie croaked, looking down between them, “how do we get cum stains off of the couch?”

Steve racked his brain, trying and failing to keep his hips elevated and avoid making more of a mess on the cushions. 

“Baking soda?” He suggested. 

“I thought that was for wine?”