Work Text:
It was only a minute or so past 9 in which Serizawa found himself arriving on the platform of the train station, hopping off of the transport with an abundance of hurried energy, a result of the emotions and adrenaline running through him.
It was a wonder that he was able to contain this stress and worry enough to supress his psychic powers from causing an uproar in the station, but it seemed like working with Reigen really had been helping him gain more control, if the lack of levitating objects meant anything. And if the tough fabric on the handle of his computer case frayed a little from his slightly psychic-enhanced grip, then it wasn’t like anyone was paying attention to him enough to notice.
Trying his best to not trip over his own legs, Serizawa silently cursed the driver of the train for being one of the causes in which he was late, before internally and hastily apologising, since it really wasn’t the train driver’s fault, and that he was also way too nice to actually curse somebody.
Still running, he flashed a glance down at his wrist, only to remember that he didn’t even own a watch. The gnawing urge to constantly know the time continued to nibble away at something inside of him, the feeling only intensifying as he made his way through the route which he knew led up to the Spirits & Such consultation office. It grew and grew, until it reached a crescendo as he took the last few steps towards the door, reaching a hand out towards it to push it open- only to fall forwards for a brief moment before stable hands caught him from the shoulders, preventing him from sprawling out onto the floor miserably.
“R-Reigen-san?” Serizawa squeaked as he hastily pulled himself away, standing upright quick enough to give himself a little bit of whiplash, the speed of his sprint finally caught up to him while the room began to sway the slightest bit. But that wasn’t anything new- what was more of a concern to him at the moment was how both Reigen and Mob were already walking out of the office. Had he been later than he had imagined?
“D-Did you get a case already? At-” he looked over Reigen’s shoulder to see the analogue clock in the room, his terrible vision forcing him to squint in order to judge the blurry outlines of the clock’s hands, “-9:17 on a Wednesday?” The tone of his voice morphed from stress and anxiety to simple confusion as his own words processed in his head. School should’ve started for Mob by now, and Wednesdays were typically the most mundane days at the office- not to mention that, combined with that, they often didn’t get any clients until 10.
Not to mention, Serizawa was a good several minutes later than he thought he would be… he would just have to hope that his employer wouldn’t bring it up.
And bring it up he didn’t, Reigen staying completely on-topic as he nodded.
“Yeah, it’s not really a normal day. Because of what, uh, happened yesterday, the… media hasn’t really left me alone. The only reason you haven’t seen them piled outside this office today is because I ended up agreeing to go to a live interview.” At that, Reigen grimaced, despite the calm tone of his words- Serizawa knew by now that while Reigen could be incredible when it came to hiding his intent and feelings through words, he had a bit more difficulty with his expressions. “Since Mob was the deciding vote, they want him to come along, too.” He gestured to said middle schooler, who raised his hand somewhat in a weak wave.
“Oh,” Serizawa settled on, not sure how exactly he was supposed to reply. He still wasn’t completely sure what had even happened yesterday- he had been at night school when ‘it’ happened, and he hadn’t seen Reigen nor Mob since- at least, until now. He knew there was some sort of competition Reigen had participated in, similar to the previous few he had ‘absolutely sweeped in’ (Reigen’s words not his), and despite being fairly active on the internet, he hadn’t had the time to check on what it was.
Not to mention, Dimple hadn’t been helpful at all when he’d asked what ‘it’ was all about, the red-cheeked fart cloud only bursting out in laughter when he did. If even Dimple cared about it, it must’ve been something special. And he could ask Reigen, but when he talked the conversation tended to last for several minutes, plus he seemed to be in a bit of a rush, and Serizawa would hate to hold him up…
“Alright! Thanks, Serizawa, good luck with the client!” Reigen pulled him out of his thoughts as he brushed by him with a wave, and Serizawa whirled around in shock as he turned to face the shorter man.
“Wait a minute! C...Client?” Serizawa blinked. “Aren’t you going to reschedule instead?” Reigen shook his head, but he could see the hint of a smirk on his face as he turned around.
“Well, this client is pretty important. They said they’d pay a higher amount than the usual, and it’s definitely a case with an actual spirit. But since I can’t get out of this, I won’t be able to exorcise it!” Reigen’s hands flailed about before pointing right at him, less than a centimetre away from his nose. When had he gotten so close to him? “So- that’s why I’m leaving this to you.”
Taking a couple of back from both the invasion of personal space and the implications of his friend’s words, Serizawa instantly found himself full of panic. “Me? But I’m just a new employee! I can’t deal with such an important client!” He hadn’t even worked there long enough to have dealt with any clients by himself- Reigen was the one who did all the talking, whilst he exorcised whatever spirits there were, in the rare scenario that the client was being haunted by one.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!” He only waved Serizawa off as usual, and he was sure that if he had an aura it would be radiating with confidence and nonchalance, directly contradicting how his own was spiking and flaring up in anxiety. “The client is pretty friendly- I’m sure you’ll have a great time with her.”
Before he could protest, a small beep came out of the pocket of Mob’s school uniform, and he pulled it out, only to make a soft ‘ah’ noise underneath his breath as he registered the words onscreen that popped up from his alarm.
20%...
21%
“Shishou, we need to go now or we’ll be late. It’s already 9:20. We have ten minutes to get to the studio. We’re supposed to be there 2 hours before the interview starts.” Mob said, just barely loud enough for the duo to hear him.
“T-Ten minutes?” Reigen flinched as his jaw dropped, like he had physically been slapped. He quickly shut it as his hands began moving even faster while he talked. “S-Sorry, Serizawa! That’s all the time we have! Good luck! It’ll be good! Don’t forget to charge them the full course, plus whatever else they feel like giving us!”
He then proceeded to dash down the sidewalk, before immediately remembering how terrible he was at running at how weak his stupid muscles were, and then slowed his pace down to a slightly fast walk. Mob hastily followed him, easily keeping up the pace, used to running from all those days after school spent at the Body Improvement Club.
And so Serizawa was left alone, standing in front of the office with nothing but himself and the feeling that today would be one of ‘those’ work days. One of the ones where the case would be outrageous or odd enough to fit into some kind of cartoon. Although, this would be the first one which he had to deal with by himself…
Nerves still trembling under stress, yet slowly recovering, he shakily brought himself into the office, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He sat down in his usual seat on the couch instead of Reigen’s seat (because that would be just a little bit too much) and crossed his legs, although that didn’t stop the limbs from beginning to bounce uncontrollably.
After several minutes of doing nothing but sitting there and thinking about what he could do until the client arrived- since Reigen hadn’t told him when the client would be coming in, Serizawa quietly pulled his laptop out of its case, and hesitantly opened it up. After double-checking through the window to make sure that it didn’t look like any clients were approaching the building, he opened the laptop and started up Stardew Valley, both because he needed a way to pass the time, and because one of the chicken eggs would finish incubating in around 5 minutes or so.
It was funny how time really did seem to fly by when having fun, because the next time he looked up from his screen, it was already 11. He had to do a double take upon seeing the placement of the clock’s hands, because the client still hadn’t arrived and it had been 9:30 just a few minutes ago, hadn’t it?
Losing his own perception of time and reality in a game wasn’t a new experience- it was his entire life for 15 long years- but now, he actually had a job to do. How was he supposed to know if the client had come by the door, and then left while he was off and busy playing indie games? What if Reigen found out that he missed the most important client of the month? Would he get reprimanded, or even worse, fired?
Great, and now Serizawa’s thoughts immediately moved on to the worst possible scenario.
What if-
A couple of knocks, combined with an oddly familiar voice brought him back into reality, the sounds muffled through the door. It wasn’t locked, so the client could come in whenever they wanted, but it was a nice gesture of politeness. Now Serizawa really couldn’t say no…
“Hi-hi! I have an appointment, I should be scheduled under Fujita! Can I come in?” Really, the voice was sounding incredibly like something he had heard before- it was incredibly unique. It almost sounded like an AI generated voice… albeit, with some pretty good tuning, to make it sound more human.
This thought passed him by in a second, a second in which he realised that he hadn’t responded immediately to her (?) question. He flinched, hastily shutting his laptop and shoving it back inside of its case in a hurry, before running up to the door.
How was it that Reigen did it again? Just smile and be friendly even when you’re panicking to hell and back inside? Yeah, that should work, right?
Internally pushing down the anxiety inside of him, he walked up to the door, closing his eyes and trying his damn best to smile as he opened the door.
“Y-Yes, of course! Welcome to Spirits & Such consultations, how can I- WAH-” Serizawa’s words were taken straight out of his mouth as his brown eyes met blue, and he had to forcefully stop himself from choking as he came face-to-face with-
“HATSUNE MIKU???” Serizawa wheezed.
“Yep ☆ That’s me! Hatsune Miku, nice to meet you!” Miku cheered, her own artstyle clashing with the whole surrounding environment’s as she waved while moving up and down on the balls of her feet, turquoise pigtails and matching blue tie bouncing around as she did so.
Serizawa did not notice this, of course, as he was too busy being in awe and shock at the fact that Hatsune Miku was, in fact, real. All of his nervousness was washed away in replace of amazement, because he was talking to Hatsune Miku? And, honestly, all of his current thoughts were just ‘!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!!,’ and that was a severe understatement as to how many exclamation marks there were.
“W-Welcome, Miku-san! Or is it Fujita-san…?” Serizawa bowed down, frowning a little as he thought back to the singer’s first words as she walked up to the door, vaguely recalling seeing the name circled on the calendar, although with no particular time attached.
“Nope, it’s Miku! ‘Fujita’ was just so I could book my appointment!” She hummed happily, sitting herself down on the sandy brown couch, right next to the exact spot which Serizawa had been sitting in for the past couple of hours.
“Ah, Miku-san…” Serizawa bit his lip, suddenly nervous from how formal he was acting compared to how friendly Miku was being. Maybe he should try being more casual? “I-I really liked your performance of Rolling Girl at 2019 Magical Mirai…! Of course, your live performance of The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku is iconic, too…” Oh god, too much, too much, shut up Serizawa!! “Although, uh-”
“Wowaka fan, yeah? You kind of give me Kairiki Bear fan vibes, too. Ah, but you don’t really seem like a cosMo@Bosou-P fan…” His guest had stood up now, circling around him while leaning in slightly as if investigating him and his music tastes simply from the way he dressed. She was right, though- it was actually Ritsu who listened to those fast sorts of songs, not him, but he wouldn’t dare ever interrupt her.
“Anyways, before we get too off-topic, I came here for a case, and a case I’ll give!” Miku cheered before Serizawa could dig himself even deeper.
“Ah, that’s right… So, what makes you think you’re being haunted? N-Not saying that you’re not, of course!” Was that what he was supposed to say? Serizawa knew that Reigen was busy, but damn did he wish he was here right now to help him re-learn how to hell to speak.
“Actually, we know for a fact we’re being haunted, ehe…” She paused for a moment to sheepishly grin at him, rubbing the back of his head, and woah, was her skin silicon? “We think we even know who by.”
Serizawa blinked. That was… surprising. A client had never come in already knowing who the spirit they were being haunted by was. It wouldn’t make much of a difference anyhow, though, if they want to exorcise the spirit anyways.
“Who?” He asked hesitantly.
Miku just continued smiling, although there was a hint of an edge to it, now.
“The Queen!”
“Wha-”
“Joking! Surprise!” Miku cheered, although Serizawa just felt like he was about to have a heart attack. His heart probably did skip a beat, probably, but instead of being the romance kind of skipping a beat, it was the ‘oh-my-god-not-the-monarchy’ kind of skipping a beat. “Actually, we do have a hunch, still. It’s kind of complicated? Definitely something that can be exorcised, though.” She looked away, lightly tugging on one of her long pigtails. “My friend is having a lot of trouble with it, Psychic-san… so I would really appreciate it if you would get rid of it! I’ll pay you, of course!”
The sudden switch in attitude from casual to practically begging completely caught him off guard, (This wasn’t normal, right?) but he was speaking to THE Hatsune Miku, so he should probably be more open. He could go ahead and hear Reigen criticizing him now for thinking badly of the client, even if, realistically, he never would…
“Of course!” Serizawa almost started bowing, before he held himself back, because two people bowing to each other would be kind of awkward. It was then which Miku’s words finally registered in his brain. “I’m Serizawa… It’s very nice to meet you, Miku-san!” Instead, he hesitantly stuck his hand out for a handshake, but retracted it upon noticing that Miku was instead getting distracted by one of the many posters of Reigen on the wall. Specifically, the ‘Greatest Psychic of the 21st Century!!’ one, and even worse, she had that spark in her eye that came up whenever someone recognised something- or, in this case, someone. Serizawa knew he should probably continue the conversation, so that she wouldn’t ask about Reigen…
“SO!! Miku, where are we going?” Right now, Reigen would probably be asking who her ‘friend’ was, but he was more concerned about going to the spot of the exorcism and getting rid of whatever ghost was plaguing her. He hadn’t been given a description of it, but it would probably be rude to ask, right? Reigen had already seemed pretty convinced it was a real ghost, and Reigen was always right, so he didn’t have to worry about it being fake…
“Ah! I’ll take you there! Just follow me!” Miku looked away from the poster in favour of walking towards and past Serizawa, all the way towards the door, which she opened, leaving it open for him to follow. Rubbing his clammy hands together, he tugged on the sleeve of his right arm as he trailed behind the virtual singer, making sure to turn the sign hanging around the door window to ‘CLOSED’ before he gently shut and locked the door behind him.
They only walked for a few minutes, the white walls of the outside of Spirits & Such pressing against the corner of his vision as he walked parallel to it, only turning the corner once the bright idol in front of him did, straight into a suspiciously dark alleyway.
While most people would be tense and terrified at the prospect of entering a dark, creepy alleyway, Serizawa felt himself instinctually relax. He felt more at ease in darker, confined spaces, so no matter how odd it was, he felt more natural in an environment like this.
Miku seemed nonchalant as well, walking slightly deeper into the alleyway, where a T split was. She turned right, and he followed, eyes widening when they landed on a turquoise vortex smack-dab floating in the centre of the alley, like some sort… of interdimensional portal, which had just decided to casually exist.
“Don’t worry! It’s safe, I promise! This way!” She said, turning around to wink at him before running off into the vortex, which swallowed her up, probably because she ran into it like an anime girl late for class holding her toasty breakfast in her mouth, except without the toast or the breakfast part, and now Serizawa really wanted eggs. Damn it.
Trying his best to forget about eggs, Serizawa cautiously looked all around him, as if Miku would suddenly pop up behind him, or anywhere else in the alleyway, for that matter. But she didn’t, not even after a long 10 seconds, and he couldn’t just leave a client who had gone through some mysterious portal. Plus, if anything really bad happened to him, he was a psychic… Honestly, with how stressed he was feeling right now, he wouldn’t be surprised if any loose gravel within a couple hundred meters of him was currently levitating off of the ground right about now, not that he would have noticed, with his eyes pinned to the swirling portal.
He was having a crisis, so he asked himself the question he always did.
What would Reigen do?
Go into the portal like a reckless idiot, of course.
Serizawa decided to do just that.
And when he came out again, he nearly found himself with a face full of snow, if it wasn’t for the fact that he used his psychic powers to stop himself from falling into the cold mush. Instead, he nearly tripped over the ice underneath his feet, but spreading his legs and arms out in the most awkward star position barely stopped him from slipping, and also gave him a chance to take a look at his surroundings.
Miku stood not too far away from him, next to a two-storey house with snow covering its rooftop and Christmas-esque lights adorning the edges and lines of the house. The house was also surrounded by snow. Everything was, actually. All around him, the houses and buildings seemed to be snow themed. There was even a massive Christmas tree, surrounded by stacks of various presents, and while nobody was out at the moment- he had the feeling that wherever he was now, it was night-time- something about the area was so inherently… magical.
While the aura surrounding the quaint, happy village wasn’t the same aura that espers typically had, there was some sort of power infused with every igloo, little box and shop around. The lively energy covered the town like some sort of blanket, draped over the buildings and the residents inside.
The amount of magic around should have pressurised his aura and made him anxious like it did whenever he was around too many espers, (which happened often back when he was in Claw) but instead, he felt that it only increased his psychic abilities if nothing else, not that he really needed them to be increased in the first place. And yet, miraculously, smothering his powers down and gaining control of them had never seemed so effortless…
It almost made him want to stay here forever, if he could. Not that it wasn’t a terrible idea, because, of course, it was. The place seemed pretty full, not to mention he had some sense that if he stayed here, he would come to regret it in time. He had given up on making new friends, so he was quite happy with where he already was.
Nonetheless, his wonder failed to cease as he tried not to admire his surroundings as he walked towards Miku, something in the back of his mind yelling at him to stay on task and stop getting distracted. That thing was probably common sense, which he had, unlike the rest of his friends.
“My friend lives here!” She gestured towards the large house, stepping up to its wooden porch, her hands clasped behind her back as she leaned in towards the doorway. “The spirit comes and goes, so we’ll just have to see if it’s here! I think it typically goes under the sink…?” She mused to herself, pointing at her mouth in thought, like an anime character was wont to. “Oh well!”
“Under the sink…?” Serizawa mumbled. He wasn’t a spirit specialist, not like Reigen was, and he’d only been working for just about a month now- which meant that he had no idea what was normal behaviour for a spirit. His old job usually just involved whacking people with his umbrella, so he wasn’t the most experienced when it came to anything involving non-espers, since Suzuki never deemed them enough of a problem to order to him to get rid of the very few who dared approach.
Miku only nodded her head in response, before politely knocking on the door. Her black and pink headphones were positioned so that only one of them was on her ears, likely to allow her to hear any response to her words easier. A few moments later, the sound of bones rattling quickly began to approach, getting louder until the door opened to reveal a tall (even at his own height) figure, wearing a backwards red cap, a shirt that read ‘cool dude,’ and basketballs where his shoulder joints would be. Interesting fashion choice, but he knew Teru, so-
Oh, and he was a skeleton.
The whole magic aura around the town made a lot more sense, now.
“MIKU!!! YOU’RE BACK!! AND WITH A… STRANGE, MAGIC HUMAN??” The skeleton’s eyelights practically popped out of their sockets as he leaned over towards Serizawa, who matched this by leaning backwards and away, in hopes to keep his own personal space untouched and intact.
“Yep, this is Serizawa-san! He’s here to help you with your Fox problem!” The grip of Miku’s hands on his shoulders as she lightly shoved him back towards the now-upright skeleton was a little unnerving- he found the sensation of being touched without warning to be incredibly alarming- but he managed to push through, managing to give the monster a meek wave.
In some part of his head, Miku’s words registered only partially, and instead of introducing himself to the skeleton like someone with social skills would, he was feeling pretty 0% in terms of social skills right now, so he instead turned his head to the side a little in a failed attempt to see the singer holding him up as he spoke.
“Fox problem?” Oh, maybe they confused a kitsune for a fox? He vaguely knew about kitsune from pop culture, and that exorcists were typically called over to get rid of them, since they were technically ‘fox spirits.’
“Well, it’s not quite a fox…” Miku winced slightly from behind him. “Anyways, I should probably introduce you two. This is Papyrus, a good friend of mine! While I hired you, he’s the client!” She let go of him to gesture widely to the beaming skeleton, who was apparently his client… and he had been acting so nervous…
Oh. Oh no.
“A-Ah! Nice to meet you… Papyrus-san?” Serizawa squinted, doing his best to not freak out about the skeleton talking to him, and actually succeeding quite well, because, honestly, he had faced weirder. The only thing scary was the fact that he had made a terrible first impression, and had been all day. He really needed to work on this. The honorific didn’t really fit the appearance of the monster in front of him, anyways.
“NO WORRIES, HUMAN! NOW, STEP INSIDE TO OUR WONDERFUL ABODE! AND BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR ANY WHITE FLUFFBALLS…” He squinted suspiciously, looking from side to side, as if scouting for whatever he was talking about. Miku smiled as she watched Serizawa nod before walking to the doorway, and waved to the two herself.
“Okay! I’m off break in just a few minutes… My manager will be leaving, so I’ll get going now!” She turned around and waved them off as she began walking out into the cold snow, seemingly unbothered despite her outfit which was absolutely not made for this weather. The perks of being a Vocaloid…
Before he could think any harder about it or stop her, the door closed in front of his face, leaving him inside of the warm house, with the client, a stranger who he knew nothing about apart from his obvious species and name. Great. All he had to do was ask the questions he was supposed to, and he’d be fine…
“So, can you tell me more about the spirit? Apparently it appears under the sink sometimes…? And Miku-san said something about a fox?” He managed to blurt out without it sounding too forced or nervous.
“YES, THAT’S RIGHT!! IT DECIDED TO TAKE UP OUR SPACE UNDER THE SINK, WHICH IS FINE… BUT NOW SANS WANTS TO TURN IT INTO SOME KIND OF CASINO ‘FOR THE XBOX,’ WHATEVER THAT MEANS!” Papyrus nodded enthusiastically, placing his hands under his mandible.
“Sans?” Serizawa questioned, the name oddly familiar to him. He had definitely heard it in passing, and not just one time. “Sans.” He was pretty sure Reigen used that name at least once when he came back to the office the other day after coming back from the competition, which Reigen had rambled about, not that he had been listening that intently. “Sans…” Reigen hadn’t told him much about what the competition was about, but he had told him that the winner, the person breaking his streak, was-
“Sans!” He gasped, resisting the urge to begin intensely vibrating, like some sort of electric toothbrush, at the revelation. “He’s your brother?”
“YES! IN FACT-”
A small white blur zoomed past them, interrupting whatever Papyrus was about to say and leaving it forever unknown, as Serizawa instantly fell into a defensive stance, while Papyrus only seemed annoyed.
“-HEY!! COME BACK HERE!!”
A switch flipped, Serizawa sprinted across the room with a sudden rush of energy, sharply turning the corner as he gripped one of his business cards tightly in his hand, a makeshift yet effective weapon when combined with his psychic powers, functioning as what was essentially a sword.
He only skidded to a stop once he reached the inside of the kitchen, in which he was met with a small, white, oddly smiling dog, standing right in the middle of the abnormally tall sink, the cupboard underneath it opened up behind the animal. He could glimpse that, underneath the sink, was some sort of massive room, and he was not going to get into that one.
“It’s… a dog?” Serizawa questioned at the canine, who made a particularly high-pitched yipping sound at him in return. It seemed friendly enough, annoying at worst, its tail wagging as it held a shiny, golden bone in its mouth, surely snatched from its rightful place in another room of the house.
“It’s… just a dog.” He repeated himself. “Wait, underneath the sink… Are you the evil spirit?”
Dropping the golden bone, the dog barked in return, which Serizawa took that as a yes, despite not being an expert in dog language.
“Huh… maybe Reigen-san was wrong, after all… You don’t seem like an evil spirit, but…”
There was still some sort of unusual energy emanating off of the creature. It wasn’t the same as an evil spirit, but it was a supernatural entity, with an unreadable amount of power. But exorcising a harmless dog-spirit-thing really didn’t seem right, even if it was a spirit. All it was doing was being a little annoying…
“Maybe I’ll take you outside…” Serizawa stared at the dog, reaching his free hand out towards it as calmly as he could without seeming too threatening.
Now, while to Serizawa, he was gently reaching out in order to take the secretly-maybe-a-god for a walk, or drop it outside for a little bit so he could figure out what to do, to the dog itself, it seemed much different. A man who was at least 6”4, with a stare carrying the weight of 20 daggers, not to mention a strong aura, reaching for a little spirit like him…
It was only understandable that it automatically went to self-defense.
Fire enveloped the tip of the dog’s tail, the flame slowly moving downwards, towards the base of the tail. It really does resemble a bomb, Serizawa watched, the aura around the little creature becoming notably sharper and more hostile than before. There was a vaguely singed smell travelling across the air, too…
“Ah, so it is a bomb…” Blinking, he continued standing still as the surrounding magic, from all around the house, was pulled into the form of the annoying dog, thick strands of aura sapped up like a plant photosynthesising. Or, maybe not. He didn’t really know anything about plants; that was Minegishi’s thing, no matter how much he had denied it in the past.
The realisation that the dog could possibly end up being dangerous caused something to click, and with a resigned sigh, he reached a hand outwards, his own purple, staticky aura loosely encased around it.
“Reigen will understand…” Muttering to himself, he skipped the formalities, instead straightening out his back as his hand tensed slightly. The spirit was beginning to glow a bright white now, the fire having almost completely consumed the dog’s tail, the light reflected in Serizawa’s own dark brown, nearly black eyes.
The loud, yet nervous nyeh vaguely registering from somewhere behind him only compelled him to exorcise the spirit as soon as possible. Serizawa’s aura spread lightly across the rest of his body, thin eyebrows knitted in concentration as his hair began to defy gravity by raising upwards at the force he was using. It wasn’t a weak spirit at all- maybe a difficulty 7 out of 10, if placed on some sort of chart- but nothing he couldn’t handle.
He forced himself to take a deep breath. He had exorcised incredibly powerful spirits by himself before, just a few weeks prior, and even though now he was by himself, he knew how to keep his own powers contained, controlled. He wouldn’t lash out…
Just focus…
He jerked his hand to the side, and the dog yipped before instantly being evaporated from the sheer force of the power he sent out. Similarly, the sink found itself thrown against the wall, along with various kitchenware such as pots and pans, which were flung against it.
I messed up…!
Serizawa trembled as he saw the collapsed cooking appliances, squawking as he scrambled to pick them up off the floor and return them back to their rightful places.
“I-I’m sorry!!”
It looked like he really didn’t have the best control, yet, but at least he was getting better, even with the comfort which this town brought him. Nothing seemed to be lifting itself up as he bowed down and apologized to Papyrus, who he could see at the corner of his vision, simply standing there.
“NO, HUMAN, DO NOT FRET! SOMETIMES POTS, PANS, AND BONES HAVE TO BE RATTLED AROUND IN ORDER TO GET RID OF PARTICULARLY ANNOYING DOGS! AND YOU DID GREAT! THAT MEDDLING CANINE IS GONE! YOU’RE VERY POWERFUL, HUMAN!” Papyrus gushed, gesturing around wildly with each word that came out of his mouth.
“Really? I’m glad I could help…” He paused his scuttling to look over at the monster, who gave him a thumbs-up, before bending down to help clean up the kitchen himself.
As it wasn’t really in that terrible of a shape- there would only be a few dents in the walls and possibly the pans- it was back to relatively decent shape around a mere 10 minutes later.
“THAT’S THE LAST OF THEM!” Papyrus dusted his red gloves off, putting his hands on his hips as his eyes scanned the kitchen, which was now fairly clean. They hadn’t mopped the floor or anything, but at least there wasn’t anything scattered around the floor. It hadn’t taken that much time- looking up to the clock on the wall, it was only around 11:20…
“OH! MIKU WON’T BE COMING TO PICK YOU UP FOR AN HOUR OR SO… WE THOUGHT THE EXORCISM WOULD TAKE A LITTLE LONGER THAN THAT.”
Serizawa flinched. “Sorry…”
“DO NOT APOLOGISE, HUMAN! YOU DID GREAT.” He waved him off. “BUT, SINCE YOU CAN’T GO ANYWHERE, YOU SHOULD STAY UNTIL SHE COMES BACK!”
“Oh? Really, I shouldn’t… I don’t want to take up so much of your time or anything…” Serizawa waved his hands in front of his face in defense, as if to dissuade Papyrus, even though his mind was clearly already made up.
“NONSENSE! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING, IF YOU DON’T WANT- HERE!” Bending down towards the coffee table to pick up the TV remote, Papyrus pressed the button and watched as the TV flickered on, something for Serizawa to do while he waited, which didn’t require him to socialise.
They were met with surprise when the images on the TV showed Reigen sitting down at a conference booth, Mob standing next to him with his typical monotone expression. Distantly, in the background, was an audience comprised of monsters of various types and species, resembling objects and creatures he had seen before in his own lifetime, likely to do little much more than provide sound effects and reactions for the channel… which was odd, considering the little translucent black box in the top right of the screen, showed that they were on the ‘NEWS’ channel.
“AAALRIGHT DARLINGS! WELCOME BACK TO MTT NEWS!” Mettaton, in his EX form, gestured at the two interviewees, who were looking a little more perturbed than they had been before the dramatic robot had begun speaking. “I’M SURE THAT EVERYONE IN MY WONDERFUL AUDIENCE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE TODAY! ”
Reigen gave a little wave equally as refined and polite as the smile on his face, but the copious amount of sweat dripping down his neck implied otherwise. Mob remained completely motionless. Not noticing how uncomfortable he looked, Serizawa stared at Reigen in awe through the TV.
“Wow… Reigen-san is so cool… He has the confidence to go on TV, even though last time he was, his reputation got completely ruined and he had a crisis…” He clasped his hands, and while his words were a little dark, Papyrus didn’t want to burst the bubble of pure amazement Serizawa was inside.
“I wonder how he’s feeling right now…”
Yikes. No, like, YIKES.
Reigen was incredibly lucky that the news station seemed to have some kind of cooling, but damn, was it hot in here! It was like they were in some kind of sauna! Who the hell puts a news station in the middle of a sauna? Why the hell was a robot interviewing him?? Why did he agree to this????
Well, agreeing to one interview was the only way to get the other news stations to get the hell away from him, (he was NOT having a repeat of that goddamn conference, he had been cancelled on Mobtter enough for a lifetime) but he hadn’t expected the news station he randomly selected to be so deep underground!
So, putting on his usual act of ‘fake it till ya make it,’ he smiled and waved at the camera, trying to seem as polite as possible. Mob seemed to have no trouble hiding his own emotions, the only sign that he was nervous at all being the fact he was completely frozen still, rather than making any small, barely noticeable movements with his hands like he might have if he was feeling slightly more confident.
“Alright! But, just for the few audience members who don’t know, how about you wonderful guests introduce yourselves?” Mettaton spoke, his robotic voice almost entirely bitcrushed as he held the microphone up to Reigen. Still smiling, he took the microphone and spoke into it with as much positive emotion that he could possibly muster.
“I’m Reigen Arataka, the greatest psychic of the 21st century!” He recited, pointing his thumb at himself.
“And the human child?”
The microphone was handed over to Mob, who blinked as he held it loosely in his grasp. He looked back up at the robot, like a student who had their name called by a teacher when they hadn’t been paying attention.
“…Your name,” he clarified.
Mob opened his mouth, and then closed it, not sure whether to just say his name, or to tack on what he did, like what Reigen had. He opened it again, and closed it again. Suddenly, he was hyper-aware of everything around him- although there wasn’t really much of an audience that he could see, he still felt as if so many people’s eyes were trained onto him, waiting for a response…
“パクパクパクパクパクパク…”
The sound of him opening and closing his mouth became loud enough to register through the microphone, visually resembling a fish blowing bubbles out through its mouth. His mentor, realising that his student was having a bad time, intercepted by grabbing the microphone and pulling it towards him instead, saving the kid, who was still trembling.
“Aha, this is Mob… He’s my student, and he’s very excited to be here! He’s just brimming full of energy- in fact, he couldn’t stop talking about it on the way here! Since he’s so excited, as his Shishou, I’ll do some of the speaking for him- at least, until he calms down.” Reigen lied, knowing perfectly well that it would be best for Mob to avoid speaking altogether. Introducing him by his nickname also meant that not as many people would be trying to look up extra information about him- not to mention, that was how he usually referred to the esper anyways, and even he wasn’t too sure about the story behind the nickname.
Nodding, Mettaton held up another microphone he produced out of nowhere- the handle of which was covered in pink sparkles and glitter, like it had been dipped into liquid chocolate like a strawberry. Except it wasn’t a strawberry, and the chocolate was very unedible glitter. “Alright! Well, that leads us on to our first question!”
Reigen straightened his back at that, subconsciously rolling his shoulders and making a hardly muffled cracking noise from his incredibly stiff joints moving around. Had to make a good impression…
“How do you feel about…” His voice, along with the questions themselves, moved by in a blur- questions and answers so forgettable and rehearsed, that if Reigen were to have been requested to name what his favourite question was, he would absolutely have forgotten. He answered for Mob, as well, who only really nodded or shook his head at the questions he was asked.
While most of them were standard, mundane questions- such as ‘how did [something] make you feel’ or ‘what inspired you to do [something]’- there were a couple of more… unique questions, to say the least.
"Would you smooch a ghost?"
The question came out of nowhere, completely unrelated to any of the other questions that he had been asked. Reigen’s first thought, of course, happened to be does Dimple have anything to do with this, followed by the answer to the question, which was probably not, considering what most of the evil spirits that he had encountered as an exorcist looked like, at least, the ones he could see.
Although, those had been specifically evil spirits, and he knew that he and Mob had encountered non-evil, likely more humanoid spirits…
…why was he contemplating this, actually? This was stupid.
“D-Depends on the ghost?” His response came out as more of a question than he would have preferred, but it was certainly a response. Mission kind of accomplished.
The robot seemed somewhat satisfied with this answer, at the very least, considering how he pulled the microphone away, although with a significant lack of dramatic enthusiasm and flair as before.
“Fair enough, fair enough…” Mettaton nodded, before snapping his metallic fingers to create an unpleasant, ear-grating clang sound. “Now, onto the final question!” He leaned in closer, this time to both Mob and Reigen, either ignoring or nonchalant to the uncomfortable expression they wore as their personal space was invaded.
“How did you do it?”
Reigen blinked. “Do what?”
“How did you kill the Queen of England?”
“…AHAHAHA!” Reigen did one of his signature ‘I-Really-Sound-Like-A-Villain-And-Non-MP100-Fans-Would-Not-Be-Surprised-If-I-Was-The-Main-Antagonist’ laughs. “That- that’s funny,” he trembled slightly from his laughter, “I have no clue what you’re talking about! She died from a heart attack, right?” He said, being honest for once in his stupid life.
“Oh, so you haven’t seen the new news, hmm?” He smirked, a smug aura radiating off of him in waves as he placed a hand to his chest, not even flashing a glance to the cameraman (had there always been one?) who zoomed in on each of the trio’s faces, although the focus was on Mob’s blatantly uninteresting expression for a significantly shorter amount of time.
“What… new news?” Reigen articulated, the camera shifting back to him.
“Oh, just that we actually don’t know how the Queen died. It was never explicitly revealed to the public, and some curious viewers,” lazily, Mettaton waved a hand over to the duo, “believe that it is your fault.”
“What? I- pff-” Reigen had to hold the back of his hand up to his mouth to stop himself from bursting out into laughter and seem more polite and composed than he actually was. “That’s stupid. Clearly we didn’t do it- we live in Japan!”
A soft, yet still noticeable tug on the back of his suit made him turn his head towards his small student, who was looking straight at him with a small sense of urgency in his eyes.
“Mob…?” Reigen called softly, attention straight on the kid.
“Shishou… Shishou, I think it was my fault…” Mob mumbled softly, not realising how the camera focused in on both him and his words.
Reigen blinked, before giving the viewers a somewhat snobbish grin, waving him off. “…What? No, of course it’s not-”
“Shishou.”
The intensity and force behind the singular word caused any lies and comforting words Reigen had thought up to instantly dissipate. Mob only ever spoke like that when he really had something to say, so the fact that he was using such force now…
He snapped his mouth shut, and let Mob continue speaking, his student’s hands balling up into loose fists, expression hidden and unreadable.
“Because I voted against you in the polls… I felt guilty… I lost control of my powers for a moment, but managed to keep it away from here, since I didn’t want to ruin the moment… and I think it killed the Queen.” His tense posture relaxed slightly, and his fists unclenched, hands instead finding their places at his side.
“…But it’s okay, Shishou. The Queen isn’t really a person, she felt like more of a false spirit, anyways. Like the Dragger. And it’s fine. We need to bring down the monarchy, anyways.” He looked at Reigen, dead in the eyes. While the viewers couldn’t see the expression, Reigen certainly could, and the sheer power in the stare caused him to feel his probably non-existent sins crawling down his back.
“Charles is next.”
Everyone was dead silent. Seemingly, nobody knew how to react to Mob’s confession, and he didn’t, either. But he had to make something up, because it probably hadn’t occurred to Mob exactly what that confession- in front of only-god-knows-how-many-people- could do to his life- and whatever he said, it had to be good, and quick.
Luckily, Reigen was a master of making blatantly obvious lies up on the spot.
“…Wow, the imagination of a middle schooler, amiright?” Reigen exclaimed just a little too loudly, hands spread out dramatically. “Kid’s 14, give him a break! We’ve all imagined that we were the cause of some big event which we absolutely weren’t, right?” Luckily for him, the few people in the audience seemed to be nodding along, and he let out a loud sigh internally.
“So-”
“It’s just a joke. We’re not related to that in any way, okay?” Reigen interrupted Mettaton before he could get a chance to speak. Honestly, the star turned temporary news reporter was really starting to get on his nerves. “C’mon, exorcist psychics like us wouldn’t do anything like that!”
“I see.” He seemed a little disappointed, but couldn’t really do much about the fact that they had told the truth. Wiping the disappointment off his face, he turned back to face the camera.
“Well, then, that just about wraps up the interview! Now, onto break! First of all, have you ever heard about Raid Shadow Legends…”
“They really are so cool…” Back inside of the quaint little house in Snowdin, Serizawa continued marvelling over his associate’s appearance on TV. He hadn’t known that Mob had it in him to make a joke like that, and while it wasn’t that funny, it was still good for Mob- at least, to him.
At precisely that moment, three perfectly timed knocks sounded out from the doorway. Large red boots thumping against the wooden floor, Papyrus rushed towards the door and turned the golden knob, revealing a figure that took Serizawa only a moment to release was Miku, albeit in a much different artstyle than before.
Instead of the bright cyan pigtails and colorful outfit of her usual Virtual Singer garb, she wore a white button-up shirt, paired with an equally pale, boring and average skirt. Her pigtails were much shorter and less pronounced, her hands bandaged, and there was a look in her eyes just as frizzy and shaky as the telephone cords wrapped around her thin arms.
“’Propaganda’…?” Serizawa mumbled, watching as Miku walked into the house, slamming the door behind her shut with a heavy breath, nearly fumbling over and tripping from how much she was shaking.
“Yeah… I didn’t have time to get changed before I had to leave… give me a moment…” She muttered distantly, walking into the house with robotic steps, which only continued as she made her way upstairs and into one of the cramped closets, closing the door behind her.
“DO NOT WORRY, THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL!” Papyrus exclaimed, turning to his guest, whose hands gripped the edge of his suit in anxiety, which was a response to the Vocaloid’s. “SHE SHOULD BE OUT IN JUST A MOMENT! HUMAN, WHY DON’T YOU GRAB YOUR THINGS AND-”
He paused, if only for a brief moment, to look up and down at Serizawa, who began to sweat lightly in embarrassment. “OH, YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING, THAT’S RIGHT!” He wasn’t supposed to have anything, though, was he? Psychics didn’t actually need to have anything apart from themselves when performing exorcisms, although that wasn’t necessarily common knowledge…
The sound of footsteps descending from the staircase to his right caused him to turn around, eyes trained on Miku, who took her last couple of steps onto the ground floor of the house. She was now donning her typical clothes, the bright smile on her face leagues away from the paranoia which had been set so deeply into her expression a few minutes earlier. If anything, she seemed happier and more sparkly than usual.
“Alright! We can leave whenever ☆ Just say the word!” She grinned, throwing her left hand up, looking as if she was an inch away from doing a grand pirouette.
“Would now be a good time? Reigen’s meeting is almost over, and I should be back by the time he arrives at the office…” Serizawa rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly, gaze flashing over to the TV, momentarily meeting eyes with his own reflection, which stood out brightly against the darkness of the deactivated screen.
“Yep, of course!” Miku nodded, expression still clearly positive. Papyrus, who was standing much closer to the door than her, opened it, and she nodded slightly in acknowledgement. Serizawa wandered towards it as well, standing right behind the idol to avoid the nipping of the cold, snowy wind pouring through the doorway from the outside world.
Although, the cold washing over his skin was inevitable, as Miku quickly moved into the snow and out of the warmth of the house, although the snow didn’t seem so unbearable when he wasn’t alone in the open.
Miku smiled, holding her hands out. Papyrus watched them, staying inside of the warmth of the house, but his smile still extended towards them as he waved a silent goodbye, not wanting to interrupt Miku as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Okay, so just follow me…”
“Serizawa! We’re back!” Reigen called out loudly as he threw the door open dramatically, before fumbling to catch it before it could slam onto the side of the wall and leave a mark. Mob, ignoring this, had his vision trained dead set on Serizawa, who for once, didn’t actually seem to be nervous, instead peacefully waving to them in the middle of the room.
“You’re in a good mood, Serizawa,” He hummed distantly, walking past him to sit down at his usual seat on the couch, the soft plush sagging underneath his weight. “Did something happen?”
“Huh? Ah… You could say that…” He nodded, clenching his hand a little, ashamed that his behaviour had been pointed out by the middle schooler.
Reigen, who had now recovered the little dignity that he had, instantly perked up at this. “Oh? So I’m assuming your time with the client went well, then?” Already knowing the answer, he slammed a hand onto Serizawa’s shoulder, either ignoring or not noticing his wince at the unexpected touch.
“Alright! Great job, Serizawa! As your boss, I’m very proud of you! In fact, I might even give you a bonus…” He pretended to think about it a little, knowing very well much that he should probably pay his employee more than minimum wage. “You… did make sure the client paid, right?”
Serizawa stared off into the distance a little longer than Reigen was comfortable with, before nodding. “Yeah, I did… She gave me a couple of things inside of an envelope when we walked back here… Let me check to see how much she paid…” He walked around his desk, leaning over slightly to pick up the pale yellow envelope, which laid innocuously on top of various papers.
By instinct, he began using his psychic powers to open the envelope, and by the time he realised that it would probably be better to practice opening envelopes normally or that there was a chance he could lose control, it was already open, and the contents of the now-floating envelope fell out onto the floor.
While Serizawa picked up the larger certificate, not giving it a glance and instead putting it out onto the desk white side up, Reigen hurried over and bent down to pick up the large wad of cash, which was held together with a rubber band.
“Hah? What…? Oh, I see, this is probably fake… Serizawa, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think you might have gotten…” He exclaimed, huffing as he flipped through it. As soon as he finished, he instantly froze. “…scammed…?”
That… was 500,000 yen(around 3.5k USD) … which, for him, considering his very low prices, was even more than he expected, even when his client had told him that she would pay a lot more than usual…
“What- This- Who-” He stuttered, stumbling over his words as he trembled lightly, holding the stack of cash tightly in his hand, as if letting it go would cause it to fade away into the void.
“Wow… Miku-san was very generous…” Serizawa marveled, clapping quietly to himself. On the other hand, Reigen froze up, his only movement being the creaky turning of his head.
“M-Miku? That wasn’t the name we had recorded for the client…” He was sweating bullets, now. “By ‘Miku,’ surely you don’t mean…”
“Yes! I was surprised, too, but she was very nice!” Seemingly, the esper did not pick up on any of Reigen’s incredibly obvious emotional queues, which mostly involved the way that his hands were rapidly moving around as he stuttered and failed to speak, even as he ran up to him and grabbed him by the collar, lightly shaking him.
“You met THE HATSUNE MIKU?!?!” Reigen practically screeched, before instantly relinquishing his hold on the other man, instead finding solace in his own hands, which he covered his face with, although the bills were still in his hand. “Nnghh… I should’ve gone to meet her instead of that stupid interview… I’m a Miku fan, too, you know…” He whined in despair.
“The client was Hatsune Miku?” Mob’s head moved upwards to look at him instead of down at the homework spread across the coffee table, a light in his eyes which was rarely seen unless receiving some incredibly useful life advice from the pathetic mess that was Reigen. At the show of excitement, only half a second later did the light dull, and he turned back down to look at his homework.
“I didn’t actually know you two were fans, too… I thought you would like more cheerful music, Shigeo.” Serizawa confessed, looking at Mob, who looked a little perplexed at the use of his real name, but slowly nodded as the answer popped up in his head.
“Ah, Hanazawa-kun introduced it to me. I usually do listen to the more cheerful songs. 39 Music is good…” While maybe he had a hard time showing it, he definitely enjoyed listening to Miku’s music, and internally spun around like a bowl in a microwave whenever he was having a good time.
And, since neither of them really knew how to continue the conversation from there, they looked away awkwardly, content with leaving the room in peaceful silence. Of course, feeling the constant need to do something, and be occupied by literally anything, Reigen felt much more uncomfortable with the silence, the need to move around swelling up inside of him.
It only made sense that Reigen would find his own gaze caught upon the mysterious, white certificate which had found itself upside-down, lying on the desktop.
“…Serizawa, what’s this?” Eyebrows quirked, Reigen called out as he picked up the cardstock paper, which was thick and firm in his grasp. He was turned away from the group, holding it close to his chest in such a way that only he could view what was written on it.
“Huh? Oh, I don’t know… I didn’t even know it was there in the first place.”
Alright, then it was up to him to find out. He turned around the paper, looked back and forth between his student and said paper, before instantly blanching.
“It’s… uh…”
There seemed to be a few different sections of the paper, each split by thin black lines, presumably in case anyone wanted to cut each certificate up and hang them separately. That wasn’t what mattered, though- it was more the content of the paper which had him confused.
Serizawa and Mob, whom of which had popped up over his left and right sides respectively (although Mob’s eyes were barely peeking over his shoulder) looked similarly confused, staring at the paper with some indescribable emotion.
20%... 30%... 40%...
“Shishou?”
50%...60%...70%...80%...
”Yes, Mob…?”
“Why does it say that Serizawa has the biggest tiddies? And… you’re the hottest anime women? I don’t remember that… and why would Miku give you this?” Mob faltered, and Reigen could do nothing but blink as the sweat on his palms gathered on the water-repelling card.
“Well, Mob, you see-”
“Shishou, what’s a DILF?”
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