Chapter Text
Chapter 1: I Don’t Want to be Famous, I Want to be Paid
“I swear if it wasn’t for the pay I would have already stolen his money, life insurance, and his identity,” Noah grumbled as he attempted to open the doors as he carried trays full of coffee. It wasn’t the worst menial task he had to do, that one went to organizing and polishing his awards, but it is one of the tedious ones with how much he had to get.
“Here you go mi cielo,” the door was held open by a tanned arm.
“Thanks, Aṉpē,” the teen walked through the doors. “So, how was your day, cause mine has been terrible as usual.”
“At least you didn’t have to sit through another rant about his rating and how he won’t be able to get a sweet new yacht until the insurance claims for his last three ones go through,” the older teen rolled his eyes as he gave a quick kiss on the smaller teen cheek and took one of the trays of coffee from his hands.
Noah had met Alejandro a few months ago during an audition. Noah, who is still, unfortunately, working as Chris's intern (he hates it, but man does it pay well and the connections he’s getting are worth it.) Alejandro had auditioned for one of Christ's crappy shows about some street racing that had a bear as its driver? Yeah, he could have told him that it would have sunk even before the pilot came out, but he did run into the Latino as he was giving him the script.
“Good luck,” Noah murmured as he handed the paper then said under his breath. “You’ll be losing brain cells over this stupidity.”
He wasn’t quiet enough apparently as his comment earned a snort from the Spaniard.
“You're not wrong,” the man said. “I don’t even need to look at the script to know how poorly this show is gonna be.”
“So why did you audition for it?” He asked.
“My brother dared me.”
“Say no more, I know a thing or two about sibling bets,” the teen empathetically said. He grew up with eight sisters, he had more than his fair share of unwanted dares. “Youngest?”
“Sí, I have two older brothers.”
“I share your burden there, I have eight older sisters.”
The man's eyes widened, “that’s like four José and four Carlos,” he shuddered at the mental image as Noah pats the admittedly hot actor to be shoulder. “My condolences.”
“Do you also share a bathroom?” He couldn’t stop a smile at the teen horror stricken face.
“If I had to share a bathroom with those two, I would have to get up two hours earlier just to get in,” then he tilted his head as he spotted a familiar book title peeking out from the intern satchel. “I see you are also a fan of Thriller.”
Noah paused before he followed the man's eyesight of his book, The Butterfly Garden. “Thought I give it a try, you read it?”
“Yes, it’s quite interesting.”
“Spoil it for me and I’ll shove that script down your throat,” the shorter teen glared, but judging by the taller one amused face it didn’t have much of an effect
“Don’t worry I don’t have loose lips, besides I’m more of a Romance book,” he grinned.
“Not really my cup of tea but being best friends with a black hole unfortunately makes me willing to try anything once, have any recommendations?”
“Sí, have you heard of Shattered Glass…Noah.” The taller teen glanced down at the lanyard hanging from the intern neck and the script long forgotten. “Alejandro.”
“Like the song?” He amusedly said.
“Like the song,” the Spaniard sighed, though his lips upturned at the cute intern laugh.
And thus the start of a beautiful friendship as while Alejandro didn’t get the audition, he wasn’t too stricken over the loss, he did get in a few more shows, some under other directors and others under Chris. The two of them manage to run into each other multiple times in the couple of months to first be considered friends as they went out on outings to bashing Chris's movies to debating over which genre, Romance vs Mystery, is better.
Noah learned as much as he was charming and funny, he wasn’t observant for nothing as saw that his friend can also be manipulative and cunning. He has seen the man subtly verbally demolish a fellow actress in the middle of a scene without even going out of script; she had previously made a crude remark about his ethnicity. The two eyes met and the Latino relaxed at the knowing look in the Indo-Canadian eyes.
The same could be said for Alejandro as he discovered that underneath the sarcastic quips and lazy persona, was an intelligent and patient teen. He once saw him quietly sit next to one of the fellow interns that were having a panic attack, horrible with words, but offered silent comfort.
Both were the exact opposite of the other, but strangely enough, despite their differences, they never deterred the other away.
This all eventually led to the Latino slyly asking the Indo-Canadian out using a pickup line. Noah laughed at the attempt, but couldn’t deny he was flattered enough that someone did find him attractive enough to ask him out. But he did agree and with an affectionate kiss on his hand, which to his dying breath he will never say that he blushed, and the rest is history.
“So same as usual,” he joked.
“How about after this I take you to the bookstore, I know you're just about done with your newest collection of books,” said Alejandro as they helped hand out the coffee to some of the interns.
“The next book of the Maniac For You series came out didn’t it?” He grinned as he handed the latte to Beorn, the bear who is rather friendly once you get passed the fact he’s a fucking bear.
“I need to know what happened next. They left on the cliffhanger of Kiaan surrendering himself for his amor to that bastard Conquistador while Alvaro could only watch tied up above a pit of fire,” he hissed out. The two have come so far from the simple town where they both grew up in to out on the seven seas escaping Alvaro, the outgoing teacher, long lost uncle who wanted to use him as a bid for the throne as Kiaan, the shy baker, came with him and learned so many different skills to protect his secret crush. It was a tale of adventure, romance, and action and he needs to know what will happen!
“Yeah, we can stop by,” Noah snorted at his boyfriend's determined face as he had the last two drinks in hand, he handed the tray to the other. “Well, I’m gonna give these two to the Devil in Prada and the minion,” and gave a peck on his boyfriend's lips. “See you later.”
“See you, mi corazón.” Then he left for his movie, he only had a few scenes left so he had to make them count.
The genius watched until he couldn’t see him anymore before reluctantly opening the door, only to sidestep a crying intern (he thinks his name was George? Greg? Something with a G). He didn’t even bat an eyelash though, this was the fifth one that ran out this week and it was only Tuesday.
“What did this one do?” He asked Chef as he handed the man his white hot chocolate.
“Fool didn’t have the balls to tie a bow around an ostrich neck,” the man stated as he scrolled on his laptop with glasses perched on the tip of his nose and in very casual wear. Despite working under Chris and meeting Chef, or Clé but he refuses to call him that on principle, he is still ajar that this man has clothes other than his usual chef outfits and whatever Chris likes to throw him into.
“I would ask why, but I have Izzy for a friend, so I can’t question sanity,” he sighed, with all the stunts Izzy put him, Eva, and Owen through, he wouldn’t be surprised if they were immortal at that point with how they manage to survive sometimes. (It kills his mind on just how all of them are still alive when they got swallowed by that whale when paragliding. In no logical way were they supposed to survive that, but he has long gotten used to the idea that logic wants nothing to do with Izzy)
“Crazy girl is crazy.”
“I’ll have Billy do it,” Noah sighed, not even questioning why it was necessary, he shot a quick text to one of the few workers that lasted over five months beside him. Then send out new positions available on the job offerings sites that are centered in the media area.
The giant just nodded, his eyes not leaving the screen, which unfortunately meant he had to get this to the last person.
“Your drink,” he monotonically said as he handed the former host his drink.
“Is it-”
“Caramel Frappuccino with goat milk, eight extra shots of caramel, nine extra shots of espresso, and little coco sprinkles on top of the whipped cream,” he listed once again. Usually, he would be concerned about anyone's blood sugar over this kind of order, but that man deserves not an ounce of his concern. He hopes he chokes on it and collapses into a sugar frenzy.
“Good,” he snatched it out of his hand and took a content sip from it. “And have you-”
“Made sure the setup crew got here on time, took out the giant ant props for the Insecopalypse movie on lot 7, grabbed the photos from security crew from super fans and paparazzi that snuck in, fed the lions which by the way Tyra needs a check up she’s looking a little sick. Talked to the Yum Yum Candy Fish Tails, I refused to say the full name, corps and they approved the go ahead, bungee jumped off the bridge and the rotors seem to be working fine, buffed and shine all twelve of your cars that are on the lot, and put out a notice for more interns,” he gestured towards the door.
“Impressive,” he grinned. The host can safely say that despite the book's dweeb lazy demeanor, he is surprisingly productive so long as he pays him. He has lasted far longer than all of his interns, manages to pull off asks (demands) that even he knows should not be feasible to complete, and manages to keep up with him. He was more efficient than thirty of his previous and current interns combined, which gives him an interesting idea.
“I have a proposition for you,” Chris interlocked his fingers as he gave Noah a peculiar smile.
“I would say no, but you are paying me so what?” He reluctantly sighed.
“How would you like to be my personal assistant for the upcoming Total Drama show?”
“You know I’m not even surprised you're making a third season,” he snarked before processing the rest of his words. “Wait, personal assistant? Like as a staff instead of a contestant? Why?”
“Well, I’m finding out that there is indeed a limit to how many interns you can ‘fire’” Noah knows full well his definition of firing, “and well I might be running low on them. You, on the other hand, manage to not only stay the longest but have the experience and strange capabilities to keep up with my demands. So, what do you say?”
The book lover quietly contemplated his options, on one hand, he will be stuck on the show and be in close contact with many people he rather not be around, setting up the challenges and whatever their ridiculousness entails, and worse still having to follow Chris's orders.
“I’ll double your pay,” the host enticed.
On the other hand, the pay will be fucking amazing. “That and I want my own bathroom away from the contestant, not being on bathroom duty (he knows for a fact Owen will most likely be on the show due to his popularity and he is not cleaning up after him), being served actual food other than the crap Chef likes to sabotage to make us miserable, and my safety guaranteed.”
“Restrooms will be with the rest of the staff as well as sleeping quarters, don’t worry I’ll have some unlucky intern for the bathroom,” he smirked knowing what the teen was thinking, “food is no problem we only do that to torture the contestant, and safety? Well you have to sign the contract first,” he grinned as he slapped down the stack of paper and held out a pen.
“I’ll do that,” he brought the papers closer and took the pen, before throwing the pen behind him, “right after I go through with this with a fine tooth pen. I’m not an idiot, I refuse to be tricked a second time McLean.” He may not be Courtney and her speed demon reading and analyzing every crook and flaw within the pages, but he is adequate enough to read between the lines and has a sister that is finishing up the last years of her Criminal Justice degree. She wanted to become an attorney after years of winning Taekwondo championships, she said she wanted to beat down people in a legal way now.
“Fair enough,” he held his hands up and leaned back in his chair. “Now call the editors and tell them about the upcoming show and set up a meeting then get back to lot 7 and make sure they are working and not fucking around like last time.”
‘If by fucking around you mean running from the scorpions you released,’ he thought but kept a straight face. “Got it,” he took out his phone to shoot a mass email to the editors. He can already hear the moans of agony, out of all the shows they hated to edit, the Total Drama series have so far been the worst. They had to cut out so much inappropriate humor/language, cut out any LGBTQ+ that was shown due to the Board and the Network demands, blur out any nudity or offensive motions, and worst of all they had to go through each and every disgusting thing for hours on end. Now usually this wouldn’t be bad, they were used to this kind of stuff, but not when it’s by a whole bunch of teenagers who have been cranked up to twenty then it’s nightmare fuel. He heard some of them say that they rather do a repeat of Wet n Wild: The Nasty and The Gruel, he doesn’t even want to know what that movie entailed.
It was after he got home and sat down with his second eldest sister, Viba, who pointed out an interesting line that made the teen laugh.
“HA! Okay if for nothing else I’m just glad I won’t have to do that,” Noah grinned as he saw what she was pointing to. There goes a point to the pro side of being Chris' assistant, he will not have to sing in the show. “Man, so many people are gonna hate this.”
And later when he points it out after he signs the contract, the host laughs.
“I know! It’s gonna be awesome! Now for your first assignment, negotiate an offer to get us to rent out the Taj Mahal,” he smiled as if it was easy.
“…just what exactly is this season?” He sighed as he pulled out his phone.
“A World Tour!” He dramatically announced as he handed him a list of potential challenges. “Also when you're done, see how many of these you and your team can accomplish without sustaining too many injuries.”
He only took a glance at the paper and he saw sledding down the German Alps to fist fighting a Panda bear to even climbing up the side of the Statue of Liberty.
‘I’m really happy I’m not a part of this,’ he thought as he went over the list and quickly went through the list, not even noting the fact that his boss had called the interns his team now.
“Did I not tell you about all the dangerous shit that happens on the show?” Noah deadpanned with crossed arms as he looked at his boyfriend's unapologetic face. “And yet you still agree to sign on for the upcoming season?”
“I know it sounds out of character for me-”
“Did you not see Cody get mauled by a bear or any of the episodes?”
“Very out of character, but you are gonna be gone for almost the entire summer, mi sol, and I couldn’t bear to be without you for that long of a time. At least this way we’ll be together, even if it’s within a death defying show,” he clasped his hands together and gently kissed them with an affectionate gaze in his eyes.
Noah wasn’t affected.
“Nice monologue, now tell me the real reason.”
“Fine,” he dropped the act, “José bet that I wouldn’t have the balls to compete on the show and I wasn’t about to let him win,” he growled.
“Wasn’t this after you bet him that he couldn’t stay in an underwater cage in shark infested waters?” The bookworm raised his brow.
“Yes?” Alejandro said.
“And you wonder why Carlos moved out,” he pinched his nose before sighing, “I assume you at least went over the contract first before signing it?”
“Of course I did! You know papa has lawyers on standby for these kinds of things,” he said with an offended tone. His father was a diplomat, so he had no shortage of people trying to snare him within the prettified trapped words written in ink. Mama was no slouch either, she was the CEO of her own skincare line that she founded herself. There were all kinds of snakes underneath all those shiny scales.
“You're still such a dumbass,” Noah sighed as his boyfriend wrapped his arms around him.
“But I’m yours~” he sing songs as he kissed the smaller teen's shoulder.
“You do know that we won’t be able to tell anyone about our relationship until the show is done right?” His question was answered by a morose head thumping on his shoulder with a groan.
“Unfortunately, the torturous host is talking about me playing some kind of act during the duration of it,” Al tentatively said.
“Act?”
“He mentioned something about me playing up the charming, flirtatious man who is secretly a villain role to counteract Heather's evilness, his words not mine.”
“And?” He prodded at what he wasn’t saying.
“Theywantmetohavearomanticinterestinher,” he blitzed out.
“Say again, but more slowly this time,” the Indo-Canadian pulled away from the Spaniard, but still kept his hands on his shoulder.
“Haaa, they want me to have a romantic interest in her,” he said more slowly with a cringe as he lightly tugged on his necklace. He is no cheater, he would rather scratch his precious face than ever cheat on his boyfriend. Mama had especially beat it into his and his brothers' heads.
Noah was silent.
“I tried to say no, but he kept on insisting stating how it could help me make it to the last five. I know it sounds so bad, but I would never-” Alejandro stopped when his partner kissed his lips.
“You know I trust you,” said the bookworm once they were apart then he smirked. “I just wanted to see you sweat a bit.”
“Cerebritoo,” he pouted.
“I trust you,” Noah said once more. “I know you wouldn’t do something like that and judging by what you said, you’ll not only be flirting with Heather?”
“No, but I swear-”
“I know-”
“No listen,” Alejandro cut him off, took his hands in his grasp once more, and looked steadfastly into his eyes. “They only asked me to flirt with them and that is all I will be doing. I will not hold any romantic feelings towards them nor will I ever give into them asking me to kiss any of the contestants. My lips only belong to one and that’s you, mi Joya,” he brought the smaller hands up to his lips once again and gently kissed them.
“You know you didn’t have to say that aṉpu,” he sighed, but his smile showed his true feelings.
“I know, but I want to say it,” the Latino said with a firm look in his gaze.
“I think all those romance books have corrupted your brain Ale,” Noah teased.
“I could say the same for your mystery books, you tend to be a cryptic little shit at times,” Al teased back. “I did mean what I said before, I didn’t want to be apart from you for so long.”
“Even with the challenges?”
“I’m sure they're not that bad,” he paused at the humorous look in his eyes. “Mi Amor?”
“Whatever you say,” he grinned as he let go and began to walk away. “Not bad at all.”
“Mi Amor, what do you mean?” He began to follow as he felt a dread forming in the pit of his stomach.
“I’ve seen the challenges and well, just get ready for this season,” he cryptically said.
“What does that mean Noah?”
“Confidentiality~”
“Noah!”
“And made each of those giant statues in the likeness of the list of people I sent you with holes and small openings embedded in all of them,” Noah, who was wearing a buttoned-up red shirt and black pants, said as he got out of the limo and proceeded to walk the red carpet and past the familiar jabbering news reporter and the crowd of teenagers on the floor. “Did I stutter? I meant exactly what I said and I need them done in two months' time.”
“Wait,” Beth narrowed her eyes then widened when she saw who it was. “Is that Noah?”
“It is! Hi Noah!” Lindsay waved as she was still laying down.
“How is it that you can recognize someone who has a new hairstyle, yet can’t remember your own boyfriend's name,” Heather asked.
The bookworm's hair had grown to his upper back and it wasn’t gelled in the slightest as it was poofy and tied in a ponytail. Al had convinced his boyfriend not to gel his hair and he didn’t feel like arguing with him, so he just let it happen.
“Of course I know Vinny's name.”
“I rest my case.”
It wasn’t until they saw Noah handing Chris a tablet with some digital paperwork to sign did they talk to him again and understood that he was now working for him.
“Your Chris assistant,” Gwen amusedly asked as Duncan laughed.
“You’d kiss Chris's butt, for money,” Cody smirked as almost everyone shared the exact face.
Noah didn’t say anything as he simply tapped his phone and then showed his bank account.
Everyone's jaw dropped at the amount of money, even Duncan choked in the middle of laughing.
“Whoa,” Sadie and Katie simultaneously said.
“That’s a lot,” Tyler gaped.
Geoff whistled.
“So that’s how you've been paying for Owen's meals,” Eva said. She along with Team Escope, she will never fully understand why that name, went out to eat one day and when the bill came back everyone at the table was more than shocked to see their string bean casually pick up the bill.
“You know it,” he nodded in her direction, before facing Cody, “You were saying?” Noah said as he swiped off the account.
“I take back what I said,” he blinked. He didn’t even get that kind of money when he was still with the Drama Brothers band, albeit no matter how short it was
“Money may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell helps putting some of my sisters through college, giving my mom a nice vacation, and giving me nice books to buy and that makes me happy,” he finished.
“Amen to that,” Leshawna nodded.
“Now then,” the host handed the tablet back to Noah, who then began to tune out the rest of the conversation as he continued to type away on his phone. He did look up when he heard questioning remarks/gasps and looked up to see Alejandro making a scene by going through the crowd of teenagers instead of around. He should be glad the sunglasses are covering his amused eyes as everyone would have seen his eyes trailing after his boyfriend. He did have to suppress a smirk when the Spaniard sent a wink his way, he could hear someone near him faint.
“Like I was saying, out with the old and in with the new,” Chris smirked as he took a sip of his latte then, Noah instinctively ducked, and spat it out in the face of a disgusted Trent.
“Gross man!”
“That was cold,” he looked around for the intern that gave him the cup before his assistant spoke up.
“Just put her on bathroom duty,” he said as he scrolled through available boat listings in New York that were suitable for sewage water. “Too close to take off to hire anyone new.”
“Good point, at least she’ll be suffering,” he evilly grinned.
Noah sent a quick message to Sandra, who was both relieved she still had a job and disgusted at her punishment. He was so engrossed in his phone that he didn’t even realize he had walked through the doors, tuning out the angered teenagers, and was now backstage until a muscular arm pulled him to the side of a dimly and rarely used room, and kissed him deeply. He knew even without looking who it was as he wrapped his arms around him.
“I have missed you, mi amor,” Alejandro said just a hair breath away from his lover's lips.
“We literally saw each other not even two days ago,” he hummed.
“And yet my heart yearns for you,” he dramatically said.
“It’s corrupting you I swear,” the bookworm murmured as he kissed him once more before fully stepping back. “Now you better get out there before your adoring fans miss you too much,” he already knew of the ruse that Chris put on with the Total Drama Dirtbags.
“Ah yes, the enthralls of people who don’t see me as a sex symbol,” he sarcastically drawled out.
“Well you are very pretty,” he stated.
“Only for your eyes only mi sol,” the taller teen fixed his boyfriend's headset.
“And the millions of people that will be watching,” the assistant pointed out as he adjusted his partner's collar
“But I will only think of you,” and with that, he gave him one last peck on the cheek before putting on a fake smile and walking back to the bustling crowd of people.
“Here’s first aid kit if anyone needs it,” Noah said as he emerged from the back of the tent with the medical kit once everyone finished cheering for the chance at winning the million. He was dropped off by one of the crew ahead of time, and he had some alone time with Alejandro before they had to get into character, to set up.
“Over here!” Katie waved as he walked over to Sadie, who was sporting a blistered knee.
“Were you here-”
“The whole time yes,” Noah cut off Justin as he knelt down and applied the bandage, and set out a cream for her head. He figured out that she was the one that fainted when Alejandro winked, so she must have stayed behind on the bus. And obviously wherever she goes her twin follows and the two got Justin to join them to ‘comfort’ them (Chris had one of the interns follow behind the racing buses and recorded the whole scene) Either way it worked out in all three of their favors. “I work for him after all.”
“Wait, are you gonna be joining us?!” Owen excitedly asked.
“As a staff big guy,” he smiled at his friend, who pumped his fist in the air.
“Awesome!”
“Too bad you're not gonna have a chance at the prize money,” Gwen joked, “I guess you’ll be our servant.”
“One, you don’t sign my paycheck so I’m not your servant,” he held up one finger then added a second. “Two, with what I went over for this season, I’m glad I’m not in your shoes.”
“Uhh what do you mean by that?” Bridgette hesitantly asked as everyone shared a concerned look.
“All I can tell you is that if you thought last season was bad, that had nothing compared to this upcoming season,” he then clicked the kit shut and stood up. He took one last look at the crowd of nervous teens, “good luck, you're gonna need it.”
StickWorm: Are you sure you don’t want to win the chance to get the mil? I think I could pull some strings and persuade the devil host to let you join?
ButchBitch: I would rather go head first in a pit of spikes than take a foot back on jobbie show!
StickWorm: U don’t have to convince me, only reason I’m going is because I’m getting paid
Keep me updated, pretty sure Chris will have some kind of aftermath. Make sure to squeeze out all the money you can out of him if he makes you host
ButchBitch: like two pairs of a boot we are, don’t worry I will 😈
StickWorm: Nice to see the emoji lessons have paid off, so proud of you 🥲
ButchBitch: 😎
Noah smirked at Eva's texts before pocketing his phone when he heard the door slam open. He straightened his face when he saw a scowling Heather stomping in.
“Why am I here,” she irritably asked.
“Please come in,” the teen sarcastically said as he closed the door behind her.
“Can it nerd, why did Chris call me,” she crossed her arms.
“He’ll explain more when he’s finished with his meeting,” he said as if he didn’t know the man wanted to make a deal with the Queen Bee. Just like with the previous ones that came in before, he made a deal with Duncan to make a dramatic exit in beginning with the promise of a free ride of coming back in the middle of the show and bypassing a lot of the challenges, getting Dj to play up a superstation with the promise to give his mom a new car, and even getting Ezekiel to play a feral gremlin monster that haunts the show (which he had to do a double take on that one, but just rolled his eyes at the homeboy enthusiasm. He likes horror movies and their monsters), and even Tyler had to up his clumsiness. The latter two agreed at the promise of money being paid so long as they appear on the show. “Coffee?” He gestured to the machine.
“I’m not drinking coffee from a-”
“It’s the rich people kind,” he bluntly stated.
She took a glance at the very expensive looking machine built into the wall before conceding. “Medium. Five french vanilla and four sugar.”
“How do you want your coffee beans grinded,” he sarcastically asked as he used the touchpad.
“Grinded? How am I supposed to know,” she sputtered before she saw him already finishing her order.
“I know, I was just fucking with you,” as he handed her the cup.
She took one look at it before taking it out of his hands and giving the tiniest nod of thanks. She despises most of the teenagers on the Total Drama set, but she will admit that Noah is one of the tolerable ones. Not overly dramatic, not overly sensitive, not overly cheerful or loud that makes her want to cut off her ears, he’s just there and quiet and she can appreciate that at least he doesn’t give her migraines. She then took a sip and suppressed a content moan of delight at the beverage as she covered it with a sneer. “Fucking rich people.”
“You should see his fridge then. If you think that was rich then the food he has in that thing looks just as expensive,” Noah checked the buzz on his phone and then looked up. “He’s ready to see you now.”
Heather didn’t say a word as she stood with her coffee and slammed the door opposing door open once more, leaving Noah to close it as he heard Heather angered yell.
“You better have a good reason why I’m here Chris!”
“Heather, my evil villainess, let’s talk.”
He sat back down at the desk as he continued where he last left off on his book about the locked room murder and how it was deduced to not have been a suicide in the first place as the victim always curves the lowercase t. Ten minutes later, when he was at the part where they are chasing down the supposed murderer who jumped out the window right after they killed another, he felt his phone buzz and checked it.
IagoRipoff: Come in
He clicked his teeth in disappointment as he bookmarked the page, grabbed the contract in the drawer, and walked through the same door Heather had entered and saw her and Chris alongside Alejandro, whom he was talking to beforehand.
“What is he doing here?” Heather asked when she saw the lazy teen walk in and placed the paper on the desk.
“You wanted to know why he was insistent on no romantic touch, so here’s your answer,” Chris grinned at his camper/contestant confused face.
“Wha-” she started out before seeing the amorous look on the Latino's face as it then clicked when he got up and wrapped an arm around him. “Wait him?!”
“We’ve been dating for a few months now,” Noah was used to his boss' dramatic self, so he didn’t even blink at why he was called here. He could already guess that Heather wanted confirmation that Alejandro wouldn’t try to put any real romantic advances towards her with the whole charade they wanted to pull.
“And yet you still want me to play his love interest?” She questioned as she shot the host a glare. She might not care for breaking relationships, but she had never once been a homewrecker before. She didn’t even kiss Trent, she put her hand over his mouth for the illusion, she just wanted to get him out and to spite Gwen. She is still pissed at the ants that were dumped on her, she can still feel the ghost legs crawl all over her body at times.
“The Network wanted some new romance mixed in and what better way than one between two sworn villains,” he gestured towards the two, who did not look eager in the slightest. “And I couldn’t swing a gay couple 'cause it’s the Network.”
“Homophobic as shit,” Noah did have to agree with the host on that one. While Chris is many many things, what he is not is a homophobe. He does have a husband after all, which he totally called him being married to Chef when he was at Playa Des Losers.
“So that’s why it hasn’t aired that I’m a lesbian,” Heather noted. She made no effort to hide it, she did state that she found any boy on that island and lot utterly repulsive.
“To be fair, I still don’t think anyone here knows that,” Noah pointed out.
“Idiots all of them, but you’re okay with this,” she raised her brow.
“Pretty much, I know Ale is not that type of person and besides it's gonna hurt him more than me,” he smirked at his boyfriend.
“Mi Joya,” he shot him a betrayed look.
“Sorry aṉpē, but this is gonna be hilarious,” he had to withhold widening his smirk as he felt a small pinch on his waist. It seemed that his partner didn’t find this situation funny in the slightest.
“You two are nauseatingly cute,” she commented. She didn’t think that the nerd would have a relationship, and by the looks of it so far a healthy one, better than most of the cast there. She is still fifty/fifty Geoff and Bridgette, those two seem close but they are all make out and no actual talking, but she tries not to actively be in their presence most of the time, so that’s iffy. But Courtney and Duncan? Oh yeah, that trash fire has been ignited multiple times, now she’s just waiting for that last explosion. She doesn’t know when, but she knows the gut feeling of a relationship about to reach its peak and its approaching.
“I know right, so gross,” Chris then pushed forward the contract.
She narrowed her eyes at the host before reading over what was listed and nodded as she got to the end. “So, not only will I be getting paid for this, but this is a guarantee I’ll be in the last five.”
“Correctamundo,” the host grinned as he saw the greed in her eyes. “So what do you say? We got a deal?”
Heather didn’t even glance at the man as she grabbed the pen and signed the contract then with a flick of her hair she walked out, coffee cup in hand and all.
“They really don’t read the contracts,” Noah muttered. He took a quick look at it before and he already noted down several things that he would have definitely wanted to not be/be included. Like for example, compensation for any acts of violence that will occur against her in the matter of jealousy, envy, greed, etc that stemmed from any romantic occurrences.
“I know, isn’t it awesome! Now get your teenage hormones out of my sight,” he shooed them away.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Alejandro said as he ushered his boyfriend away.
“And don’t forget-”
“The plane is fully stocked and ready for take off, we just need to grab extra cushions in case the ones in first class tear as well as double checking that each of our stops has fuel tanks and supplies at the ready,” says the assistant.
“Then as you were,” the host leaned back as he watched the two exit his office. It felt really good not having to worry about all the unnecessary crap for once, he should have found an assistant ages ago. Well, he supposed he could have had one if they had the courage to actually do all the crazy stuff he wanted.
“Here we go,” Noah heard Billy say as he and the rest of the crew glanced out of the plane and saw Chris stepping forward with a smile on his face, and a bus full of teenagers behind him, as the cameraman started to count down.
As the cameraman reached one, Noah had one thought in his mind.
‘This is gonna be one long ride.’