Chapter Text
A lot had happened in that cave, the days spent with adrenaline induced fights, fever induced confessions and fear of death that seemed inevitable.
When Wei Ying settled into the thought that he will not come out of the cave alive and had confessed to Wangji that he had feelings for him he doesn't understand and believes them to not be reciprocated, he had thought he will either die of the rejection that will come, or at peace that he had finally gotten the weight of his shoulders.
What he had not expected in 9 lives was Wangji crying and hugging him, repeating his words to him as if he was praying to the heavens for it to not be a dream and kissing his chapped lips like his life depended on it. He had certainly not expected the things to escalate till where they did passing out and then wake up alone in Lotus Pier.
He felt very bitter, having been separated after not a word after their.... Intimacy. It had been hard for him to be so open about his true feelings and not just the smile he wore for the rest of the world hiding the little kid so afraid to be close to anyone he could lose. The loss of parents scars a child far deeper than is visible. Just because they don't understand the concept of death, doesn't mean they don't mourn the loss.
He remembers his days on the dirty streets, even after all these years he couldn't quite forget his early ages. He remembers bein lost with no one to go to. He remembers the feeling of fear amongst strangers with creeping demeanors. He remembers the dogs, the insects, the dirt on his scratches and gashes, their burning sensation. He remembers the people who had tried to abuse him for young kids are a vulnerable victim to vile souls.
The harsh words of those around who thought of him as nothing but a beggar. But he also remembers the few times he had met kindness. She felt foreign but she felt like mother. He remembers the people who saved him from dogs and cats, and...people, he remembers their protection, it felt unreal but it felt like father.
He was still in shock after realising his feelings and desires were most definitely reciprocated. Warm at the thought that there was a chance of there being something akin to love between them. Maybe, just maybe, he could have a happy life.
A love not tainted like the ones he was seeing since coming to the big world of Clans, but the love that he saw on a dusty street sitting on a donkeys back, surrounded by nothing grand but the grandest of homes that was the world itself.
He didn't get to live his life of bliss for long anyway.
The Wens arrival, the burning of lotus pier, the fight with Jiang Cheng, the loss of a core and then the fear of losing a brother.
The things that led to his most excruciating nights, made the days of wishing for a domestic life unimaginable to him. He didn't want power, he was a free soul that just wanted a family like the one he had lost. The one that wore simple clothing and never stayed at the same place more than a few days. The one without the show off of clans and sweet lies through clenched teeth. Where laughter was free of a limit to it's frequency and volume.
He wanted a life like his parents. Free of facades and richness in hearts.
His downfall towards the burial mounds was his end of hopes, he gave up. Almost. The dark fog took him to the worst night of his life, the disgusting smell of flesh and blood reminding him of his injuries as a child and the dead bodies of the two people who loved him unconditionally. The hunger felt like the days he went on without food for what felt like centuries to a toddler. The available edibles that shall remain unmentioned were worse than the rotten food of the streets.
He came out, crawling through hell at last after all. He didn't feel human anymore. He didn't feel alive anymore. He didn't feel anymore. But then again he thought 'War makes monsters... And monsters make wars". And so he left to win the fights that will paint eons red.
We hadn't expected to see his brother and lover? Friend? He doesn't know. Let's stick with Lan Zhan. When Jiang Cheng hugged him, for a moment he felt like he had been pieced together. And when he said they had looked for him for three months, he had felt like maybe he had a heart.
The War raged on and people died. Wei Ying continued to become iller by the day. His health continued to deteriorate. And during a conference, his high temperament got him in trouble. The War was won through his Demonic cultivation which became Crafty tricks the moment the last enemy fell. He felt like the air was punched out of his lungs when Lan Zh- Hanguang jun asked him to return to Gusu with him.
So it was true. He was loved as long as he was useful. And he is hated because he is now powerful. God the power dynamics. He hated them from the bottom of his core. Oh wait.... What core? He gave it away. And honestly he would do it again if he had to. His brother had become a sect leader too soon, he was young, mistakes were eminent. It was fine. Till it wasn't.
When he took the wens and left the world had been nothing but chaos behind him. Pointed fingers and criticisms towards him became the new normal instead of the endless complements he was given. The prodigy first disciple of Lotus Pier became it's biggest darkest spot on it's reputation.
During the first health checkup (he was forced to take, courtesy of Wen Qing the queen) a revelation came through that no one was ready to hear. Wei Ying was pregnant. He knew who's child it was. He knew who the father was but he could no longer be with him. He refused to tell anyone who the other parent was. He cried and wailed till he passed out. Ayuan, the only child there was the one who could cheer him on, shouting around being so excited to have someone to play with again.
The days after the revelation were hectic. His mood swings were more frequent and his cravings extremely weird. The current environment was not healthy for anyone let alone a child. Both the one currently planted in the radish field and the one growing inside the womb.
No one could've expected Lan Wangi to visit Yiling. And no one thought he would come to the Mounds with Wei Ying. Wen Qing came to them after supervising the duties and her eyes fell on the two figures standing inside the fave with a child attached to one's leg. The scene had looked so serene.
She saw how Wei Ying looked at the twin jade and immediately realised. Oh. She was silenced immediately from revealing anything by Wei Ying making her promise on her life that she will not tell anyone. And she was under enough favours of the demonic cultivator, she yielded, on the condition he tells her what happened.
Wei Ying was somehow happy amongst the wens. Farming and helping around with chores, eating bland yet tasty food. Being chastised for working too hard and going to Wen popo to complain about Wen Qing. Wen Ning the feared Ghost General running around to get Wei Ying the food he craved at weird hours of the night. Calming down his sister in the name of not cursing at the pregnant patient because the child can hear. Ayuan would sometimes lay his head against the still very small bulging tummy to hear a heartbeat.
But then again, when did peace ever not invite war. Jiang Wanyin arrives at the doorsteps to their little settlement demanding Wei Ying returns with him.Jiang Cheng insists that Wei Wuxian forsake the Wen remnants, as society is determined to hate them, and says that he cannot protect Wei Wuxian if he refuses.
Wei Wuxian could feel himself getting nauseated, feels his little one getting uncomfortable but he couldn't say anything. Not to his brother who would then try to protect him even more. He couldn't ask that of him.
They argue and fight both having bad temperaments, one born with it and one reborn through it. The moment he tells Jiang Cheng to show the world they've thrown Wei Ying out he immediately refuses, Wei Wuxian insists on leaving the Yunmeng Jiang Clan to protect them from trouble. Jiang Cheng had no words and resorted reminding him if his promise to remain with him as his right hand when he becomes the sect leader.
He leaves after seeing Wei Wuxian's determination to save the wens. He saw they were elderly, but his position as the sect leader was still new and with Jins playing with the strings with the position of Chief Cultivator. His insecurities were being used against him and he couldn't bear to lose what little was left of his family. He could not let go of his brother, he and his sister was all that was left after all.
Three days later however Jiang Cheng returns to duel with Wei Wuxian. Thinking if he wins he can have his brother back. They fight like skilled cultivators forged by war do. Wei Wuxian had just not expected a sword through his belly. The world seemed to have stopped. He looks down, blood gushing out of the wound. His heart falls in a pit as he realises, the sword has gone through from the middle of his stomach.
With no reaction he falls as the hand holding the sword is broken by Wen Ning, and Jiang Cheng is thrown back a mile. He gets up cursing and leaves getting the message that he can no longer do anything, his brother was no longer a part of the Jiang.
Wei Ying is rushed to Wen Qing. The cave's path red with the amount of blood the black robes had been hiding. Long hours go by and he was still unresponsive. He was still at a loss at what had happened. Hours go by, her hands drenched in blood, buckets of water turned crimson. She let's go of a breath she didn't know she was holding. He was stable, but she had no idea when he would wake up.
She comes to know how the jins want their life. And who was the one to stab the man she now considered her brother. She couldn't bring herself to reveal the truth to him. And so comes to the conclusion, their life for his, as he had given his for theirs. She will avenge what her brother lost. She will not go down without a fight. She went to the Wens to tell them her decision. And non of them disagreed, with the condition they will go with her.
They all agreed to leave Wen Yuan behind. The child did not deserve to die. They were likely to leave the young one, fevered from the tension of the environment with someone from Yiling. But they knew when Wei Ying wakes up he will tear the world apart for them. And Ayuan was the safest with him anyway.
They wait till Wei Wuxian was awake, cohesive that is. Laying the young child next to him. She puts a needle in him so he couldn't move and tells him their plan, he cries and begs to not be left alone again, he couldn't lose his family again. His conditions got the better of him and as his consciousness faded he heard the words "Thank you and I'm sorry".