Chapter Text
Eren yawns, letting one of his hands fall down next to his chair so that his cat can rub against it. He peeks down as he feels a soft cheek slide against the back of his hand, smiling slightly as Levi glances up at him. His long tail is curved into a question mark, and he gazes at Eren for a moment longer before walking away, disappearing into the next room.
Eren chuckles and stands up, stretching. He’s gotten better at reading Levi bit by bit, and it’s mind-boggling that he’s had the cat for a year now. His neighbor Hanji had shown up at Eren’s door on Christmas Eve, the squirming cat bundled up in a blanket in her arms. After some cajoling and a whole lot of guilt-tripping (he couldn’t let Hanji just put the poor thing back in the streets… even if it had looked like it would kill the both of them once it’d figured out how to unearth its paws from the blanket), Eren had found himself with a new companion.
Initially Eren had figured he would provide a temporary home for the creature. The cat certainly hadn’t seemed happy with its new abode, often hiding underneath the couch (or the bed, or the dresser, or the table) whenever Eren would enter a room.
Hanji had insisted the poor cat was simply spooked. She had visited on more than one occasion, and Eren tried not to feel embarrassed as he’d watched her crawl around on the floor on all fours, cooing after the hissing cat.
After one particular visit, in which she’d managed to drag the cat out from under a dresser, she’d swung it around in her arms, whooping excitedly. Eren had run over in alarm after seeing the distress on the cat’s face, gently prying it from Hanji’s arms and holding it securely against his chest.
“You’re scaring him,” Eren had said, eyebrows narrowing. “It,” he’d added after a moment, unsure.
Hanji’s grin had stretched her whole face. “He’s a boy! Have you named him yet, by the way?”
“No,” Eren had replied thoughtfully, absentmindedly stroking at the soft fur of the nameless cat in his arms. He’d almost jumped in alarm as the cat started sort of… vibrating.
Hanji had explained in between squeals of laughter that the cat was purring, and that it must really like Eren. He’d glanced down skeptically, meeting the eyes of his reluctant pet. The purrs hadn’t stopped, and Eren hadn’t realized he’d been smiling until Hanji unnecessarily commented on it.
After that, Eren hadn’t really considered giving the cat away, and even ended up giving it a proper name a few days later.
Eren’s gotten ridiculously attached to Levi, and has spent more money than he’d like to admit on cat beds and interactive toys and self-filling water bowls. Despite his attempts at giving Levi only the best, the cat turns his nose up at such things, preferring to sleep on Eren’s bed while he’s at work (the patch of black fur gives him away) and to play with cardboard boxes and rubber bands (usually when Eren’s in another room, of course).
For some reason, this makes him even fonder of Levi, an emotion he attempts to convey by scooping Levi up and settling him in his lap. Even though Levi had appeared to like being in Eren’s arms the day of The Rescue, he always jumps away when Eren tries to pick him up. They seem to find an acceptable balance when Levi creeps back ten minutes later and sits in front of the couch, tail flicking. Eren keeps his eyes trained to his book (or his laptop, or the television), only glancing to the side once he feels Levi curl into a ball beside him. Some nights Levi will even rest the side of his face against Eren’s leg, and Eren will scratch the top of his head the way he likes.
Basically, Eren is completely whipped. He’d never thought he would end up being one of those crazy cat people, but he’d even bought one of those Christmas stockings for cats at the store and presented it to Levi two days ago. (Naturally, Levi had been completely disinterested in all of the toys inside, though he did bite off the price tag - after Eren had gone to bed, that is.)
Eren kicks aside one of the neglected jingly balls as he makes his way over to the tree. It’s only after he pulls the plug from the wall that he notices the eyes watching him from underneath the tree.
“Come out from there,” Eren says, squatting down and reaching his hand out. Levi stares at him, unimpressed.
Eren frowns, shifting a little. “I know you’re going to bite the tree again.”
Levi stares some more, then slowly lies down, even going so far as to shut his eyes. Eren raises an eyebrow, even as his heart warms at the sight. “You’re not fooling anyone, Levi.”
Still, he… he can’t yank Levi out from under the tree, it would be too mean. Eren sighs, then stands back up. He shuffles over toward the hallway, turning back to see Levi still lying innocently under the tree. Eren calls out as he makes his way toward his bedroom, “I’m not going to clean up your vomit, so you better be a good boy!”
Eren leaves his bedroom door open, as always, but Levi doesn’t come in, even after Eren’s tucked in bed - not that he usually does. Eren smiles sleepily as he thinks about playing around with Levi tomorrow and maybe trying to get some cute pictures of him for Christmas. Mikasa will probably want to come over, so she can get a shot of Levi and himself together, perhaps… if Levi will stay in his lap for at least one or two seconds.
Eren pretends he doesn’t hear the soft crunch of a tree branch being bitten, rolling over onto his side and bringing the blanket up to his chin. He sure is lucky to have such a wonderful companion.
–
One of Eren’s least favorite things is being woken up in the morning. He’s fine with the whole waking up part - his own internal clock always has him waking up five minutes before his alarm is set to go off - but if anyone or anything attempts to wake him, he will be in a fog for way longer than is probably normal.
So naturally, he’s woken up by his phone ringing shrilly on his bedside table. Eren almost believes he’s imagining the sound, because who would dare call to wake him up on Christmas morning, of all days, but then it starts ringing again.
Eren sits up blearily, jabbing blindly at the screen as his eyes are still closed. He slumps sideways onto his pillow as he croaks into the phone, “Hello?”
Mikasa. Of course it’s Mikasa.
He listens to her babbling (well, Mikasa never really babbles, but Eren has no recollection of anything she’s saying two moments after she’s said it) silently for some time, then jerks violently when she practically shouts his name.
Fuck, she knows him too well.
“I’m awake,” he lies, because he’s sort of sure he’s still asleep. She starts talking again, and Eren forces his eyes open, blinking a few times before shifting to sit up.
“You should eat breakfast, Eren.”
Ah, the first thing Mikasa’s said that hasn’t flown right out of his mind. That probably means that she’s right.
“Yeah, I’m going to do that now,” he says, standing up and shuffling pathetically along toward the hallway. It’s a good thing he lives alone.
Mikasa is going on about something, probably about what time she should come over, but Eren is too busy thinking about what he’s going to make for breakfast. He’s pretty fucking hungry, now that she’s brought it up.
He isn’t single-minded enough, however, to miss the blatantly naked man sitting under the Christmas tree.
Eren freezes in the middle of his living room, blood running cold. His fingers tighten around the phone as the man tilts his head up just the slightest bit, eyes meeting Eren’s.
Oh god.
This is how his life is going to end - killed by a naked stranger in his own home on Christmas day.
The man just looks at Eren for now, knees pulled up and arms wrapped tightly around them. His chin is nudged right into the dip between his legs, and he looks somewhat… miserable. Like he's the one who has to deal with a naked intruder.
“Mikasa,” Eren grunts, fingers tightening further. Yes, thank god he’s on the phone already, the man won’t have time to–
“What is it?”
“There’s a naked man in my living room.”
The line is silent.
The man blinks once, twice. Still he makes no move to do anything.
“Seriously, Eren?” Mikasa mutters, sounding peeved. “Okay, that’s more than I needed to know.”
“Huh?” Eren asks, distracted by the man tilting his head to the side slightly, resting his cheek on one knee. His eyes are still right on Eren, and it’s terribly unnerving.
“I do not need those visuals,” Mikasa continues, and Eren’s brows furrow, trying to keep up with what she’s saying and deal with the way his heart is currently trying to climb out of his throat.
“Well, finish up with… whatever’s going on there.”
Eren makes a sound of alarm - well, he tries to, but nothing comes out of his mouth.
“I’ll call you later. On second thought, you just call me whenever.”
“Wait, I–”
“Bye, Eren.”
Eren feels his heart sink, has she honestly just–?
“Mikasa?”
His strangled plea receives no response.
The man shifts his head a little, dark hair falling over his forehead.
Why the hell is he sitting there, acting so innocent? Eren wracks his brain wildly, trying to remember if he’d consumed an exorbitant amount of alcohol last night, or if he’d been in a situation where he could’ve accidentally been drugged, but he can’t come up with anything. In fact, he remembers quite clearly saying good night to Levi and heading straight to bed.
Wait.
Eren feels his skin prickle uncomfortably.
Levi. What if something’s happened to him?
“Levi?” he whispers frantically, eyes darting around the room. Levi hates being held, but Eren is prepared to snatch him up and run from the apartment as soon as he catches sight of him. Luckily this intruder seems a little weird, even aside from the obvious not-wearing-any-clothes thing.
He inches sideways, heart thundering in his chest as he calls out Levi’s name again.
Eren almost jumps three feet in the air when the man shifts beneath the tree. His eyes look bright, interested, and Eren’s hands scrabble uselessly against the wall as he gasps in a panic, “Levi!” He won’t leave Levi behind, not with this madman– this madman who is unfurling his legs and starting to stand up–
“Jesus, what the–!” Eren’s voice cracks as he forces his gaze away from the newly exposed skin. He whirls around and blindly races to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. There’s no way he could have made it to the front door before the intruder.
And seriously, why the fuck isn’t he wearing any clothes? What the fuck is he, the Bare-ass Bandit?
Eren shakes his head, placing a hand over his racing heart. He has to figure something out.
He could call the police, but would they believe his tale? Well, he’d definitely have to leave out the part about the intruder being naked, that’s for sure… but to Eren, that kind of adds to the urgency of the situation.
Shit.
Levi’s still out there.
Eren can’t abandon him. And he certainly can’t leave him out there to fend for himself until the police potentially get here. He wonders absentmindedly how many officers are working on Christmas before deciding that’s really not the point.
The point is, he has to go back out there. He must outsmart this… man. Intruder. Freak.
Eren closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before bellowing, “Levi!”
He hopes desperately that the cat will come. Please, please come, then I can grab you and jump out of the window and maybe land on a bush or something–
He takes another deep breath before turning around, a trembling hand wrapped around the doorknob. Please, please–
When he swings open the door, he’s unable to hold back a blood-curdling scream. Right there before him is– the fucking– intruder, the Buck-ass Bandit himself, and Eren’s frozen, another scream caught in his throat as the man leans forward, presses his forehead against Eren’s shoulder and–
Eren’s eyes squeeze shut, mind racing - there’s so much he’d wanted to do with his life, but this, this is how it’s going to end. He waits for the killing strike, some kind of knife, maybe, this guy looks like he would be a knife person, but then, where would he keep it if he has no clothes?
His eyes slowly creak open when a familiar sound reaches his ears.
Some kind of… vibration. A content hum.
It’s…
It’s coming from the man.
The naked man who’s leaning against Eren and rubbing his face into his shoulder.
“L-Levi,” Eren whimpers, the only word left in his vocabulary at this point, and–
The man moves just slightly and tilts his head back, eyelashes fluttering beneath his dark hair as he gazes up at Eren, and oh–
“Levi,” he repeats.
A blink, a head tilt to the side, and Eren could almost laugh, almost cry, because well.
He’s obviously lost his mind.
There are a few things he could do. He could try to assess this situation, as brain-breaking as it would probably be. He could still call the police, or Mikasa, or throw the man back and run and jump out the window.
But all he really wants to do is go back to sleep.
Yes.
This is all just a dream. A vivid one, as he can count each of the man’s dark eyelashes and see the flecks of color in each eye, eyes that resemble Levi’s–
Eren feels faint.
Yes, going back to sleep is the only option.
Actually, it’s going to be taken out of his hands anyway. The fuzzy, light feeling in his head and the whooshing in his chest is getting to be too much, and he knows a few moments before it happens that he’s going to pass out.
He only hopes that when he regains consciousness, things will make more sense.
–
He wakes up to the familiar feeling of something resting on his leg, but a quick glance down has Eren almost passing out again.
Needless to say, things are not making any more sense now than they had earlier. And, as a soft sigh warms his thigh and sends a strange jolt through his belly, Eren thinks they may never make sense again.