Chapter Text
“Any minute now.”
Most people who knew Tobey’s motives thought it was strange how he built intricate and gargantuan robots just for them to be destroyed, but they didn’t understand.
Crash!
They didn’t understand how his heart raced when he saw that sparkling blur of red and yellow slam into his robots, sending them tumbling towards the streets.
A manic laugh filled the air.
No one in their right mind didn’t look at her and think she was worth doing anything, even if it ended in destruction and punishment.
Wordgirl.
Tobey wasn’t sure exactly how long she’d been in Fair City, but he knew she started making herself known around 7 years ago.
She must have stayed hidden for longer, considering her fairly normal appearance, but what she was infamous for was anything but normal.
Wordgirl, as she was dubbed by the city for she had no name, was an anomaly. An alien from a distant planet with superhuman abilities and an impressive vocabulary and a monkey who clung to her back.
He remembered the day he first saw her.
Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy (he really must pick a shorter name) had been robbing a sandwich store, as usual. Tobey, impossibly bored waiting with his mother as by coincidence they had chosen that store for lunch and now had to wait even longer for the police to apprehend Chuck. “Must we stay here, mother?”
“Just be patient, dear.”
He grumbled and went back to fiddling with the remote for his latest robot.
As the police were outside discussing how to handle the situation, it seemed the world was at a standstill.
Then she appeared.
A bright light burst through the doors and in seconds, Chuck was tied up with a metal pipe and his condiment ray had been decimated. Tobey looked up and saw her floating above the counter, holding the apprehended villain, a pretty smile that screamed victory , dark eyes to match her dark glossy locks– she was breathtaking .
She left before anyone could talk to her, but Cupid tugged at his heart strings that day.
As it would turn out, the mysterious girl wasn’t exactly the hero everyone hoped she was. Just a few days later, she tore the awning off a restaurant and proceeded to melt it over the entire front of the establishment, effectively inconveniencing everyone in and outside. “That child is a menace,” the owner had grumbled as he tried to pick the melted plastic off his restaurant.
This became the norm everyone in Fair City expected. The girl would just do whatever she wanted, annoying villains because she foiled their plans and agitating civilians because she destroyed property and refused to listen to any kind of law or reason. They began to call her Wordgirl when they noticed her propensity for defining words.
Tobey didn’t feel the same way they did. She was beautiful and intelligent, far smarter than the imbeciles he was forced to attend school with, and she clearly had some kind of moral compass, even if no one could quite figure out what it was.
So no, he wasn’t really bothered when she destroyed his robots, because he got to see her again.
“You sure are trigger happy lately, Tobey, this is the third time this month you’ve attacked the city with robots,” Wordgirl said as she kicked one of the robot’s limbs off into the horizon. “Not that I mind, it’s quite titillating .”
He was swooning.
“Really? Might you even say it’s exhilarating? ”
“Invigorating?”
“Elating?”
“Electrifying?”
“Stimulating?”
“ Ew ,” she made a face before laughing, and he wanted to listen to it forever.
Her monkey companion chittered something and she took his shirt in her fist and dropped him off on the sidewalk before speeding into the distance. Wordgirl was interesting as a hero, since she never took any villains directly to the police. Maybe because she herself was something of a force of chaos and the police wouldn’t be particularly happy to see her.
He sighed dreamily as he waited for his mother to arrive.
This had been going on for years. He’d build some elaborate robot, bent on wrecking a building or maybe even the entire city, and Wordgirl would come and stop him, they’d share some witty banter and she’d leave. But it wasn’t enough. Tobey wanted to know her , he wanted to have a real conversation and sit down and talk and spend time together that wasn’t restricted to battling. He wanted to. . . invite her somewhere. And so, he turned to the only figure in his life who could give him reasonable advice on the topic.
“Hand me that screwdriver, kid.”
Dr Two Brains’ lair wasn’t his favorite place, truth be told. It was rather dilapidated and messy, the constant underlying smell of cheese drifting through the air, and he would always be at risk at tripping on some rusted pipe and fall face first into a pile of broken glass (maybe he was being dramatic but still). Also the mice, that was also a factor. Nonetheless, he spent a lot of time there, helping the doctor build new rays and robots that he wouldn’t be able to get away with at home and getting some Wine-Uncle-esque advice on life.
He laughed in that mad, mad way upon finishing the task, pushing up his goggles and stuffing a piece of cheese in his mouth.
Well, now was as good a time as ever.
“Ahem, erm, Dr Two brains? There’s something I’d like to ask you about.”
“Well, go ahead, shoot.”
Tobey fiddled with his hands, unsure of what to do with them now. Ugh, this is so uncomfortable. “L-Let’s say there’s this. . . girl whom I wish to make the acquaintance of and I’m not sure–”
“Would you just spill it already?”
“I wish to invite Wordgirl to the next Evil Villains’ Association party.”
Dr Two Brains choked on his cheese. Pounding at his chest, he coughed, saying, “I cough cough should have expected this but cough i-it’ still surprising, because. . . really kid? You want to invite her to a villain party when she foils everyone’s plans?”
Scoffing, Tobey crossed his arms. “She’s not that bad. Can anyone say they honestly hate her?”
“Well, I don’t but I can’t speak for the other villains. Wait,” he slowed, his pink eyes narrowing at the teenager. “ Are you trying to date Wordgirl? ”
His face inflamed as he stuttered and stammered over a very half-hearted excuse as to why he definitely isn’t romantically interested in Wordgirl but Two Brains cut him off. “Save it for your mom, it’s obvious you’re lying.”
“R-Right. . .”
The doctor uncapped a water bottle, tossing another one at Tobey, explaining, “Listen, I don’t care if you want to bring her to the party, she can be well-behaved when she wants to, just keep your mushy crush under wraps.”
“ W-Wha–”
“Alright time to get back to work. Tighten that bolt, we can’t have this falling apart on us.”
With that, Tobey began planning.
He wrote and rewrote and scrapped and added to the cards, he set aside an outfit that he thought would be appropriate for asking a girl out on a first date (not too formal, but dressy enough to look nice and impress), he thought about gifting her chocolates or flowers but wasn’t certain if she’d be allergic (do aliens have allergies?) and thus scrapped them. He wasn’t willing to risk a disaster like that.
It was Wednesday when he decided to ask her. An autumn chill had set in, even though it wasn’t quite Autumn yet, and he felt the cool air nip at his face. He’d initially been a bit annoyed at having to wear a jacket since he worried it would affect how “cool” he’d look, but now he was grateful for it, as he tended to get cold easily.
Phase 1.
Tobey pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed the big red button, activating the robot that sat behind him. It didn’t stand up or begin to wreck buildings, just emit a small humming. To normal human ears, it was just white noise, but to someone like Wordgirl with super hearing, she was picking up the sound of a robot crashing buildings. An ideal way to call for her attention, since he wasn’t sure if simply saying her name (?) would get her to come and he wouldn’t get in trouble since he wasn’t actually wrecking buildings.
He waited for maybe 3 minutes, then she zoomed in, landing flawlessly on the rooftop and looking around, visibly confused.
“Where’s your robot?? I thought I heard a robot?”
Phase 2.
“Oh you did, darling, it just wasn’t a robot wrecking buildings like you thought.”
“. . . wait but why would you–” “Care to have a seat?” He said, patting the spot on the ledge next to him.
She complied, floating over and sitting where he had patted.
We’re so close.
“Soooo why did you make a robot that just makes noises?”
“Is it so wrong to just want to talk to you?”
“I guess not, but surely you didn’t do all this just to talk about whatever.”
“Right you are, my dear.” Tobey fished the folded piece of paper out.
He’d never been this close to her before, seeing details he normally wouldn’t have. He could see the stitching of the green knit bomber jacket she wore, little places that were damaged from her rowdy activities and dealing with villains, the stars in her eyes where a human’s irises would be. Even in the cold weather, she wore a skirt (he wondered if her stockings provided any protection from the elements, or if she wasn’t affected at all). Wordgirl was enchanting in every possible way.
“Well, you and I have had this. . . back and forth thing going on for some time now,”
“Yeah?”
“And I figured it was ample time to get to know y- eachother outside the battlefield.”
“And?”
Tobey shoved the paper in her direction, his eyes hyperfocusing on her hands. They were so small, but he didn’t miss the claws that were just poking out of her fingertips. He wondered what they were like in action, he wondered what it would feel like to be scratched by them.
“The Evil Villain’s Association is having a party of sorts soon, and I would appreciate it if you decided to show up. If you want to, of course, totally up to you.”
She took it rather hesitantly, reading over the paper with this earnest look on her face he wasn’t used to seeing. She probably doesn’t get invited to parties, he thought, this must be a completely foreign experience to her. (But she looked so cute.)
He got lost staring at her everything, and only vaguely registered that she even said something. “What was that?”
“When’s the party? Where is it?”
“O-Oh, right. The address and time are on the paper,” he explained ( strange she missed that while reading ), “Although. . . I’d really like to take you there myself.”
“Like. . . a date?”
“Ye-ueh uh, sure, if you’d like to see it that way.”
“Okay.”
Tobey couldn’t believe his ears. She said yes she said yes she said yes.
“How about you just drop by my house on Friday, perhaps around 7 o’clock? I can write down my address if you–”
“I already know where you live.”
“What how ”
“It’s the house with the big robot head in the backyard. Kind of obvious. Anyway, see you on Friday!” She and her monkey waved goodbye and flew away.
Wordgirl wasn’t the only one who felt like they were flying, Tobey could swear he was floating on cloud nine at that moment. She said yes .
The days until Friday passed in a blur, Tobey high on his own euphoria at the memory of Wordgirl agreeing to go on a date with him. His teachers remarked how much more “pleasant” he seemed, even his mother appraised his behavior, not that it mattered to him. He had much more important things to worry about.
He’d fussed with his hair and bow tie too many times to mention in number. It’d been a few years since bow ties were once a staple of his wardrobe and he was worried about how neat it was.
Maybe he was a bit worried, but so long as she had a good time, it didn’t matter.
Speaking of whom–
“EeYEE!”
An unflattering sound left his lips as the girl in question zipped into his room far too suddenly, knocking him onto the floor with pure shock. “Honestly, don’t you know how to knock,” he griped, dusting off his pants as he stood up, no thanks to her.
“No, I lived in a place that has no doors and thus knocking would be impossible.”
“Oh well that’s just ridiculous, there’s no way,” he stopped, and saw the smug look on her face. “You’re joking, aren’t you.”
“Took you a long time to realize that, didn’t it?”
“That’s quite enough out of you!”
“A shame, really,” she grinned, not at all feeling remorse.
Tobey summoned his robot, the one he used for transportation, bringing the metal hand to his bedroom window and stepping out on it, and gesturing for her to come aboard. Wordgirl raised an eyebrow, floating next to him. (She didn’t often walk, he realized. Not unless she was causing havoc on her own) “Aren’t you going to get on the robot?”
“Isn’t it kind of pointless for me to use any kind of transportation? You know, since I can fly ?”
“It’s not about logic and reason, it’s about chivalry and being a gentleman.”
“Chivalry, the combination of ideal qualities of a knight, usually pertaining to courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and readiness to help the weak.”
“Yes dear, I know what chivalry means.”
Nevertheless, she took the hand he’d been holding out and stood by his side as the robot walked (carefully) to the other side of town, where the evil villain meetings were often held. Wordgirl didn’t let go of his hand, not holding on to him like she was afraid of falling but just holding him. Her hand felt warm in his, and he took the time to feel the tips of those claws between his thumb and index finger.
It reminded him of his father’s cat, not sharp enough to immediately prick his skin, but he knew from experience that they could be painful.
If Wordgirl noticed, she didn’t say anything.
She kept looking up at the sky, observing the few stars they could see from the city, her face reading as. . . disappointed?
Maybe it was because of her alien origins, disgusted with humanity’s light pollution so she couldn’t see where she was born among the stars, or maybe it was her birth planet that disappointed her. He hadn’t a clue about it.
The monkey on her shoulder chirped and patted her head.
Before long, they arrived at the shady motel where the party was. He noticed her flinch out of the corner of his eye, likely being sensitive to the noise as a result of her super hearing. “I hope you know you don’t have to stay if you’re uncomfortable. If it’s overwhelming, I understand if you choose to leave.”
“I know.”
They jumped down from the robot hand and Tobey parked it (“Is that really parking?” “I call it parking.”), the metal contraption stiffening and its eyes turning dark. “How come you don’t try to make something that’s actually vehicle shaped?”
“You’re asking a lot of questions today, aren’t you?”
“And you’re not giving a lot of answers.”
He sighed, “If you must know, it’s because I don’t want the police giving me a ticket for not having a license plate or a registered vehicle.” Then quietly muttered, “ And I don't have my driver’s license. ”
Wordgirl snickered.
Tobey just grabbed her hand and led her to the motel. She used her other hand to unwrap a candy that was in her pocket and gave half to her monkey. It sounded like broken glass in her mouth, crunching and crunching.
The sounds and smells that they had caught hints of outside became magnified upon entering. Villains of every variety filled the room, mulling about eating, drinking, talking and singing on the karaoke machine on the far left. Tables filled with processed snack foods, sandwiches, and treats wafted savory and sweet scents through the air, and he didn’t fail to notice Wordgirl sniffing at it, not unlike how Two Brains would sniff the air when he was hungry or detecting cheese. The room was rather dingy as it always was, with somewhat poor lighting and cracks in the walls that were probably crawling with insects. This motel was one of the few locations that would allow an organization of villains to rent out a room, since most weren’t exactly eager to let known criminals into their property.
Oh well, not much they could do about that.
By the time he came back from his reflection, Wordgirl had already left his side and was at the buffet table, picking around the various dishes, occasionally taking a piece and eating it, her eyes darting around as if she was trying to analyze the flavors and textures (or at least that’s what he hoped she was doing).
(He wondered how often she actually got to eat, or if she had a home to go back to)
“Are you enjoying the selection, darling,” Tobey asked. “I’m not much for the more processed foods but to each their own, I suppose.”
“What’s this green stuff in the bowl,” she pointed at a small bowl, containing a creamy green substance. “It tastes like a smell.”
“Oh that’s pesto,” another voice butted in.
Of course. Behind her, Chuck had walked up with a friendly smile, clearly overhearing their conversation. “It’s a condiment made of basil, garlic, salt, pine nuts, cheese, and olive oil. I’ve been trying to expand my, oh what’s the word? When you have a lot of stuff you can do or have?”
“Arsenal? Or maybe even repertoire, meaning a collection of items or skills a person habitually uses or is available to them, the former mostly being used in the context of military weaponry.”
“That’s the word! Thanks!”
“You’re welcome!”
“Would you like to try some of the other foods I made? I usually put a hard rule to put everything on a sandwich, but I’ll make an exception since you don’t know much.”
“Okay!”
As Chuck went from dish to dish, giving her little spoonfuls of whatever condiment or ingredient and explaining the recipes and processes for making them, Tobey observed the other villains in attendance. To his surprise, no one really noticed Wordgirl. He’d expected a commotion to go up considering her infamy among them.
“ Wordgirl?! ”
Ah. There it is.
The Butcher had said it, spotting her from a few feet away and successfully drawing the attention of pretty much everyone, gasps erupting from their mouths. And Chuck, who’d been looking directly at her and talking to her, dropped his tongs in shock, making a clanging noise and exclaimed, “Wordgirl?!”
Meanwhile, Wordgirl just stood there licking her spoon, seemingly oblivious.
Then her face shifted, expression becoming confused.
“Who’s Wordgirl?”