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“Anakin”
It was Anakin. Horribly, recognizably, Anakin. Obi-Wan had felt his presence, had known, but this, this was different. Anakin was scarred, but with that awful mask off, it was clearly him.
“Anakin is gone. I am what remains.”
Even his voice. It had been difficult, so difficult to fight Anakin when he had been unrecognizable. A faceless monster, a familiar force presence warped in darkness. But his voice was there, under the static. A voice Obi-Wan knew so well. A voice that had so much history behind it. It had once been the sound Obi-Wan loved the most, something he hadn’t realized before spending ten years without it.
How had this happened? How had it all come to this? He had loved Anakin. He had raised him from a boy, fought beside him as a man. Anakin had known him better than anyone, and he had thought he had known Anakin in return. All that history, all that love and camaraderie, had it truly been for nothing?
Anakin was wheezing. The lights on his chest sparked and flashed. He had done that. He had done all of it. Anakin was in that suit because of him. Anakin was struggling to breath now, because of him.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Anakin. For all of it.”
And he was. He truly was. If he could take it all back he would. He would gladly trade his life for Qui-Gon’s. Qui-Gon wouldn’t have failed Anakin as badly as Obi-Wan had. Qui-Gon could have-
“I am not your failure Obi-Wan. You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker. I did.”
For a moment Obi-Wan almost accepted it. It would be an absolution of a sort. Obi-Wan could walk away. Could know that the brother he had loved was dead. That it had not been his brother who had committed atrocities, but the monster that had stolen his face. And it was not his brother that he had left to burn, even when it would have been a mercy to kill him. He could not kill Anakin’s body, but he could accept the truth of his death. It was everything he had been taught about the dark side, about falling.
“The same way I will destroy you.”
Anakin’s face twisted in hatred. It was an expression so unlike the Anakin he had known. It was exactly Anakin’s expression. How many times had he seen Anakin do this? He had beaten Anakin, and Anakin knew it. Yet he continued his taunts, continued his insistence that he would win. Anakin’s mix of arrogance and pride had prevented him from ever surrendering. It also helped sometimes to throw the enemy off balance. Anakin was exceptionally powerful. When he made boastful claims, even in the most dire of situations his enemies often believed him. How could he believe that Anakin was gone when he was the same? Twisted and evil, more machine than man, but still under everything, Anakin. Hadn’t he recognized his tactics on Jabiim? This was still his Padawan.
“How can you say that? Anakin, you are standing right before me.”
Anakin’s face contorted further with rage.
“That name means nothing to me now.”
“If Anakin Skywalker is dead, why do you care about me? Why hunt me down personally?”
Fury and confusion swelled equally in the Force.
“You betrayed me! You left me to burn! You deserve to suffer as I suffer! I will destroy you. Slowly. I will not let you die until I have taught you the truth of pain. You are pathetic. You have lost; looking for a dead man will not save you!”
Even that, somehow strengthened Obi-Wan’s conviction. It was not the calm, robotic, register of their earlier conversation. This was Anakin’s furious shouting on Mustafar.
“Betrayed you? I never betrayed you Anakin! You betrayed me! Betrayed the order! Even the younglings Anakin. The younglings.” Obi-Wan could hear his voice breaking again, tears were dripping down his face.
“Do not remind me of my sins old man. You would be wise to remember your own.“
Obi-Wan could barely hear him anymore.
“Everything I thought you loved. You threw it away. And for what?! For what Anakin?!” Obi-Wan was screaming now, furious himself. In some small part of himself it was almost a relief. He had felt nothing but grief and despair for so long.
“What could you possibly have gotten that was worth all you threw away? Padme! Even she was not spared!”
“Do not speak of her!” Anakin screamed. Clumsily he struggled to his feet and swung his lightsaber wildly. Obi-Wan blocked the blow easily.
“Do not sully her name in your filthy mouth!” Anakin was striking furiously. The blows were sloppy, uncoordinated, and imprecise. It was unlike Anakin, even at his most emotional to be this out of control.
“Why not? You strangled her Anakin! How is mentioning her name worse than that?”
Anakin howled. A wordless cry of rage and pain. He gave up his assault, barely standing. His yellow eye burned in the darkness.
“You know nothing Master! You know nothing of the power of the dark side. You know nothing about love, or destiny. You are foolish and short sighted, corrupt and unfeeling, just as the Jedi always were. I was only too blind to see it.”
This tirade gave Obi-Wan pause. He needed to calm himself. He was too emotional, too furious. He had been trying to reason with Anakin. Trying to get him to acknowledge his past.
“If Anakin Skywalker is dead, why do you call me Master? Anakin was my Padawan, not Vader.”
Anakin bared his teeth.
“You will not accomplish what you seek, old man. You will find no mercy invoking a dead man’s name. Anakin Skywalker was weak. He was a fool who thought he could save everyone. Instead he saved no one and his life burned to nothing. I am what rose from the ashes.”
“Thought you could save everyone? How? By murdering them?”
For the first time in ten years Obi-Wan felt the ghost of a laugh in his chest, despite his tears. He could not understand absurdity of what Anakin was saying.
“Truly the dark side has distorted your thoughts.”
Anakin was struggling to breathe. He dropped to his knees again. Obi-Wan suppressed the instinct to go help him up.
“The dark side has shown me the truth. The Jedi only knew lies and betrayal.”
“What truth?”
Obi-Wan found he was suddenly desperate to know. He had agonized over it over the past decade. What had driven Anakin to betray them.
Anakin’s presence in the force burned with hate. The viciousness of it surprised Obi-Wan. He had not thought it could get stronger.
“The truth is that salvation does not exist. There is no fighting destiny. Power is the only thing that can bring death. Death is the only thing that can end suffering.”
“Destiny? You were destined to bring balance to the force Anakin!”
“That was not my destiny. I was always meant to serve my master, from the day I was born. Anakin Skywalker was simply a fool who thought he could fight fate.”
“So that’s your excuse? No need to take responsibility for your actions? It was all destiny? Perhaps my friend is truly dead. Anakin hated being told to accept the will of the force.”
“That is why Anakin was destroyed! He tried to fight his destiny. But you all betrayed me! I was trying to save you and none of you would listen to me!”
Anakin wrenched himself to his feet again. His rage and hate propelled him despite his malfunctioning suit.
“Destiny doesn’t mean that you have no choice Anakin! The future is always in motion. Maybe there is such a thing as fate, but you can still choose how you live. You didn’t have to become a slave to Palpatine.”
“No.” Anakin attacked again, even more wildly. For all their power, his strikes were easy to dodge and block. It was as though he was not really fighting to win. “This is all there is.”
“It’s not Anakin. Please. You knew there was more once. Stop this madness.”
Obi-Wan continued on the defensive. For a few moments there was nothing but the sound of lightsabers clashing, and Anakin’s heavy breathing. In a moment Obi-Wan saw his opening and sliced through Anakin’s lightsaber. It fizzled out, and Anakin looked at the melting piece of hilt, then deliberately dropped it. Obi-Wan held his lightsaber to Anakin’s neck.
“What are you waiting for Obi-Wan? Destroy me. It is what you came here to do.”
Obi-Wan shook his head.
“No. No. It isn’t… It isn’t.”
“DO IT!”
Anakin leaned into Obi-Wan’s face, heedless of the lightsaber at his neck.
“DO WHAT YOU CAME TO DO! FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!”
“Anakin. Please. Please, just stop this.”
Anakin glared at him. He was so close now. Why was he not fighting? His lightsaber was destroyed, but Anakin was far from powerless without it.
“Why do you keep saying that? What can you possibly hope to accomplish?”
“I. I don’t know Anakin. I just. Just stop this, please. There isn’t a reason for any of this. What do you want?”
Obi-Wan deactivated his lightsaber and stepped back. He needed distance between himself and Anakin. He needed to get away.
“Revenge? Perhaps you deserve it. Perhaps I deserve your vengeance. But no one else in the galaxy deserves to suffer for my mistakes.”
Anakin smiled again. It was horrible.
“So you would let me kill you Obi-Wan? In exchange for what? The return of your Padawan?”
“Yes.” Obi-Wan couldn’t help how desperately he said it. How many times in the last decade had he had that same thought? How he would trade anything to save Anakin? He would give up his own life gladly. He would give up a great deal more than that.
Anakin turned his head away. It was such a distinctly Anakin gesture that for a moment Obi-Wan felt transported back in time. Anakin had not needed to hide his face when it was behind the mask.
“It is too late for me, Master.”
“It’s never too late, Anakin.”
Anakin laughed. It was a bitter thing, it sounded choked and painful. It was clear his suit had not been designed for laughter. Obi-Wan wondered if it was the first time his Padawan had laughed since Mustafar.
“So what Obi-Wan? You would take me back? You would fight by the side of a child killer?”
“Yes.” Obi-Wan could not help it. He loved Anakin too well, he could not forgive him, but he could not stop loving him either. “Yes, I would take you back Anakin. Join me. We could destroy the Emperor. With our combined strength we can bring peace and democracy back to the galaxy.”
For a long moment there was silence. Obi-Wan stared at Anakin’s expressionless face, searching for something, some unknown sign. The force swirled with pure shock. The rage and hate had faded into the background.
“Then you are truly a fool. There is no turning back from the dark side. If you ever truly loved me, Obi-Wan. Put me out of my misery.”
With terrible clarity, Obi-Wan realized why Anakin had stopped fighting after his lightsaber had been destroyed.
“No.” He whispered.
Rage swelled again, knocking Obi-Wan back a few steps.
“WHY?” Anakin roared “WHY? The galaxy would be far better without me in it! Do you hate me so much Obi-Wan? How much agony must I endure until your revenge is complete?”
“The galaxy would be better, but I could never do it Anakin. Maybe I am weak. I know attachments are forbidden, but I was never the perfect Jedi you thought I was Anakin. And after I have lost everything, would you make me destroy the only thing left from my old life? I can not kill someone I love.”
As he spoke the words he knew the truth of them. Obi-Wan had tried not to think of Mustafar, had not examined why he had left Anakin to burn. It had not mattered because he had thought those injuries impossible to survive.
Obi-Wan was surprised to find himself crying again. Perhaps he had never stopped. How he had failed. He had failed everyone he had ever loved, and yet he was still unable to learn. He had failed the Jedi, Anakin, Ahsoka, even now he knew he was failing Luke and Leia. He had the opportunity to kill the most feared man in the galaxy, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
I’m sorry Master. He thought. I’m sorry for everything. How can I kill the boy I raised? He was so small. So precious. I’m sorry.
Anakin stared at him.
“Love?” He asked.
“What?”
“You said you can not kill someone you love. You love me? Still?”
For a moment Obi-Wan opened his mouth to deny it. But he couldn’t. He was furious at Anakin, he hated what he had become, he pitied him. But he could never truly hate him.
“Yes Anakin. I do. You are my brother.”
For a breath, there was stillness. Then the force sang.
The gold in Anakin’s eye melted away, leaving a familiar blue in its’ place. The force still raged with hate and anger, but louder then that was love and loudest of all, hope.
“You are a fool, Obi-Wan.” Anakin said again, but it was soft this time.
“Come with me Anakin.” Obi-Wan said. He extended his hand.
“Please, we can figure something out.”
“I will join you Master.” Anakin said, “Together we can bring peace and order to the galaxy.”
Anakin took his arm, and stumbled a few steps forward. Without the hate fueling him, it seemed his failing life support was taking its’ toll. Obi-Wan slung his arm over his shoulder. The two of them limped back towards Obi-Wan’s ship.
“Do you have any sort of plan?” Anakin asked, “This decision will surely cause chaos in the Empire. And I doubt your rebel friends will welcome me.”
“When have we ever had a plan Anakin? We will figure it out as we go. As long as we are together.”
“Yes.” Anakin said, “Together.”
As they neared the ship, Obi-Wan could see the sun rising over the horizon. It was beautiful. For the first time in a decade, he felt a new hope rising in his chest.