Work Text:
“We have a problem,” Kakashi grunted as Iruka’s fist hit his gut.
Iruka tried to back away, but Kakashi grappled his arm to halt his escape. He widened his stance, planting his feet, and tried to flip Iruka backward.
“What kind of problem?” Iruka asked as he jabbed two fingers up into a pressure point in Kakashi’s armpit, deadening the nerves just long enough for Iruka to free himself.
“Damn it, Iruka!” Kakashi growled, shaking the feeling back into his limp arm. “That shit hurts.”
Iruka grinned and fell back a few steps, dropping into a ready stance. “All is fair in love and war, babe!” He taunted.
Kakashi leveled Iruka with an unamused look and lifted his hitai-ate to his forehead, revealing his Sharingan.
“Hey now, we agreed you wouldn’t use that,” Iruka pouted, pointing his finger at Kakashi.
“No, you said not to use it. I never agreed to those terms.” Kakashi shot back, smirking deviously at him. “All is fair in love and war, after all. Right, babe ?”
He loved that Kakashi didn’t wear his mask while they did this, but hell if he didn’t get distracted by those stupid smirks of his.
Then Kakashi rushed him.
“Oi!” Iruka yelped as Kakashi engaged him with a barrage of kicks and punches.
Iruka dodged, blocked, and knocked each hit away as they came, but the Sharingan made it hard to repay the blows in kind as Kakashi foresaw all of Iruka’s movements and reacted accordingly.
Iruka broke away again and then jumped backward, putting even more distance between him and Kakashi. Kakashi didn’t immediately follow, allowing Iruka a moment to catch his breath.
“You’re a dick,” Iruka panted as he smoothed back hair that had fallen out of his ponytail and into his face.
Kakashi grinned, and Iruka knew he was going to say something stupid. “But you love the D.”
Iruka groaned in disgust. It was so bad . He wanted to ditch Kakashi, but kicking his ass for the offense would be more satisfying.
Feeling his second wind coming on, Iruka built up his chakra, pushed it all to his legs, and sprung forward. Kakashi adjusted his defensive stance to one Iruka recognized immediately. If Iruka charged at Kakashi, Kakashi would use his momentum against him to send him to the ground hard, knocking the wind out of Iruka to claim victory. A tactic he had fallen for one too many times.
They had been sparring on and off for months. It was part of their routine that began after they had gotten together. After many sessions of beating the crap out of each other, Iruka was intimately familiar with Kakashi’s fighting style and tactics as much as Kakashi was with his. Of course, there were times when Iruka could still catch him off-guard enough to gain an edge.
Like right now.
Iruka jumped out of his charge, veering to the right, and fell into a dead sprint to the treeline that encircled their favorite training ground.
Behind him, Kakashi swore loudly and chased after him. Iruka whooped in triumph as he hopped over a grouping of bushes and sprung up into a tree, not stopping until he felt he had adequate cover. He created a shadow clone and pulled his chakra in tightly to help mask his presence. Iruka left just enough of his chakra visible that Kakashi would eventually be able to find him.
Iruka slipped some paper seals out of his pocket and handed them to the clone.
“You know what to do with them,” Iruka whispered.
The shadow clone smirked at him and then dropped to the forest floor, where it immediately disappeared into the dense foliage.
Then Iruka waited.
But that didn’t mean he was idle.
Iruka directed some of his chakra towards his ears to amplify his hearing. It was a trick he learned as an assistant teacher, which came in handy for many situations. Iruka would have never considered using chakra to amplify his senses otherwise. With his hearing sharper now, Iruka heard some of Kakashi’s louder complaints, but Kakashi wasn’t heading in Iruka’s direction just yet.
With that said, some shinobi had good innate senses. Sometimes it was just one, and in rarer occurrences, it was multiple.
Kakashi’s senses were pretty sharp, but his sense of smell was by far the strongest. It wouldn’t be much longer until he tried to sniff Iruka out. Iruka had taken that into account, of course, when choosing his hiding spot. Their favorite training ground happened to be a short distance away from an area the Aburame clan used for their kikaichu-related research. For the time being, it was growing carrion flowers—better known as corpse flowers. They were downwind of its strong rotting flesh odor, and the breeze was light enough that the smell wouldn’t murder their noses.
Iruka was mean, but not that mean.
After a few minutes, the memories from the shadow clone hit him. It dispelled itself when it had fulfilled its purpose, setting the trap and baiting Kakashi. It took all of Iruka’s willpower not to laugh when he heard Kakashi dry heave in the distance. The smell wasn’t too bad for him, but it would be a more intense smell for Kakashi.
So maybe he was a lot mean.
“Iruka! You asshole!” Kakashi yelled in outrage as Iruka buried his face into the crook of his elbow to smother his laughter. “We are finding a new training ground to use. Even if I have to make it myself!”
Kakashi was close now, so Iruka added some insult to injury.
“But this is my favorite spot!” Iruka yelled back in an exaggerated whine.
Kakashi whipped his head in the direction his voice came from and moved with breathtaking swiftness.
A moment passed, and then another before Kakashi yelled again. “Mother fuck! IRUKA!!!”
Iruka laughed openly this time. Once finished, he dropped out from his hiding place and sprinted toward where Kakashi had sprung the trap. Iruka giggled when Kakashi came into view, he was beating at the wall of an active barrier with one of his fists. The seal itself was Iruka’s most recent work of art. It was a barrier that filtered the air while protecting those within it from outside threats. It annoyed the shit out of Kakashi because he couldn’t escape, but it would be invaluable in serious situations concerning air quality.
As it was a testing seal, writing a chakra clause keyed to him allowed for a loophole. Iruka could still enter and leave the barrier as he wished.
And he wished.
While Kakashi appeared to look pissed, he was anything but as Iruka plowed into him, sending them to the ground, where he subsequently pinned his disgruntled boyfriend.
“Gotcha!” Iruka purred against Kakashi’s parted lips and then kissed him passionately.
Kakashi moaned, not hesitating to open his mouth to greet Iruka as he deepened the kiss.
He’d never get tired of kissing Kakashi, especially during or after a good spar. Seeing his boyfriend in action turned him on—a sentiment they both shared. Iruka rested his weight on top of Kakashi, relishing in the sensation of their clothed erections rubbing against each other. He slipped his fingers into Kakashi’s sweat-dampened hair and took control of the kiss.
Kakashi’s hands found their way to Iruka’s thighs, climbing around and up his hips to burrow underneath Iruka’s shirt. Iruka shuddered and groaned as Kakashi’s hand smoothed up the skin of his back only to drag his nails back down.
“ Iruka ,” Kakashi moaned when they broke for air.
Iruka tried to go in for seconds, but Kakashi turned his head away. Instead, Iruka trailed open-mouthed kisses down across Kakashi’s bare cheek and to his neck. He licked a long stripe up his boyfriend’s sweaty skin, startling a laugh out of Kakashi.
“That’s gross , Iruka,” Kakashi laughed as his face scrunched up in mild disgust.
“I can’t help it. You taste so fucking good when you get worked up,” Iruka whispered hotly and licked Kakashi again.
Kakashi squirmed beneath him for a moment and then rolled them over. He settled himself on top of Iruka and trapped his hands, leaving Iruka open for a sloppy kiss.
“I don’t remember you being this mean before we started dating,” Kakashi complained against Iruka’s lips when they parted, pecking them once more before leaning away. “That’s some false advertising bullshit.”
Iruka was still thankful Kakashi didn’t wear his mask when they sparred. His pout was too cute to hide.
“I definitely was,” Iruka laughed. “I don’t know how you can forget about that one time I dyed your hair hot pink. Or when I convinced Gai that you needed to be cheered up and that the only way to do it was to follow you around while singing romantic ballads.”
Kakashi let out a pained groan and hung his head as Iruka brought up his past trauma.
“People still think he and I are dating.”
Iruka grinned brightly, not at all bothered by that fact. He had a supreme appreciation for Kakashi’s friendship with Gai. He knew that Gai would never be romantically interested in Kakashi.
While Kakashi was distracted, Iruka leaned up and kissed Kakashi again, only to growl in frustration when Kakashi broke their kiss almost immediately.
“My dad finally cornered me today about me dating you. He wants to have dinner.” Kakashi told him, mouth curling in distaste as he dodged Iruka again.
Iruka smiled as he rolled his eyes, freeing a hand to pet Kakashi’s cheek. “I’m surprised he waited this long to say something.”
Sakumo wasn’t an oblivious man—even if they were still trying to keep their relationship private. They’d been dating just shy of six months now, and every day since their first date, Iruka had been waiting for Kakashi’s father to come and give him the shovel talk or something. Yet nothing ever happened, Iruka forgot all about it, and Kakashi never mentioned it.
“It’s going to be so awkward, and I don’t trust him not to say something dumb,” Kakashi complained and sagged against Iruka.
Iruka smiled fondly, finding the irony in Kakashi’s complaint, and kissed Kakashi’s pouty lips.
“Let’s do it then,” Iruka announced.
It would be best to do it now because Iruka was serious about Kakashi. Kakashi was stuck with him, and he needed to know where things stood with Sakumo—to find out if he needed to fight to keep what he had with Kakashi.
“W-what? No!” Kakashi spluttered.
Iruka snorted. “Why not? You know this was going to happen, and I’m not insecure about dating you.” He said and rolled them again, straddling Kakashi and grinding down against Kakashi’s erection.
“B-because!” Kakashi stuttered as Iruka shifted forward and settled himself on Kakashi’s chest, deliberately wiggling and rubbing against him as he went. “ Iruka !”
“No more talk about Sakumo while I’m trying to claim my victory reward,” Iruka murmured hotly against Kakashi’s lips. “I wanna ride you fast and hard.”
“You better not break my dick,” Kakashi warned as he choked on his laughter. “We are not meeting my dad over hospital food while that evil banshee Tsunade fixes my broken penis. I’ll never see a second’s respect again.”
When they arrived at the restaurant the following evening, Sakumo was already waiting for them at a table further in the back, where there was less foot traffic. A decision he made with Kakashi in mind.
Iruka’s smile widened at the thoughtfulness. He already had great respect for Sakumo because of who he was to the village. Despite what he had gleaned from others, what he knew personally of Kakashi’s dad was only information shared by Kakashi himself, which left many blanks. Kakashi loved his father even if he complained about Sakumo giving him a hard time, that was certain. But seeing firsthand how attentive he was to his son’s quirks made Iruka feel more confident in tonight’s get-together.
The place they had chosen for their meetup was a curry restaurant that had opened last year. It toted many curry styles and flavors from all over the continent and catered to fit many diets. It had become one of their favorite places to eat when they didn’t feel like cooking.
As they approached, Sakumo spotted them and lit up. Were it not for the recognizable silver hair, Iruka wouldn’t have noticed that it was Sakumo. He wore casual civilian clothes: a simple blue t-shirt and jeans.
“Kakashi! Iruka! You made it!” Sakumo exclaimed as he stood up to meet them.
“Hey, Dad,” Kakashi said, arm raised to scratch at the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Hokage-sama,” Iruka said, giving a slight bow.
“No, no, none of that. Just call me Sakumo! Or Dad.” Sakumo grinned, reaching out to shake Iruka’s hand.
Sakumo’s grip was firm around Iruka’s and lacked negative feelings. A relief. Kakashi made a sound like a dying goose, but Iruka ignored it and pulled out a chair that sat across from Sakumo.
“Kakashi, we are having dinner. Why are you in your uniform?” Sakumo scolded him as he sat back down, but Iruka noted it sounded more like teasing. “And I thought I was married to my work.”
Iruka snickered. Kakashi didn’t own any civilian clothes.
“At least I’m not wearing the vest,” Kakashi grumbled as he sat in the vacant chair next to Iruka. He pressed his leg up against Iruka’s, which Iruka immediately reciprocated.
Sakumo shook his head and smiled. “I’m sorry it took so long for us to meet outside of formality,” he said, taking a quick sip of his water. “I wanted to wait until I was sure Kakashi wouldn’t defect from Konoha when I brought up having dinner, but then I got bogged down in bureaucracy.”
That did sound like something Kakashi might do.
“It’s not a problem. I know how busy you are,” Iruka said, empathizing. He had first-hand experience with how hellish the work in the Tower could be. When he was younger, Iruka often was punished with menial labor that sometimes overlapped things like the chuunin exams or a government scandal. It was still just as awful now that he was an adult. “I partially blame Kakashi, though.”
Kakashi, who had his face buried in a menu, whipped his head up to glare at Iruka.
“Bullshit! I just got off a two-week-long mission,” he growled.
Iruka laughed and pulled a menu out of the holder in the middle of the table. It was so easy to tease Kakashi. It wasn’t Kakashi’s fault, with the last month and a half being rough on him mission-wise. Nevertheless, the light-hearted jab at Kakashi earned an amused chuckle from Sakumo. Maybe they could bond over their mutual love of teasing Kakashi.
It wasn’t long before they all decided on what they wanted and ordered. Iruka chose a sweet iced tea and a coconut curry from Wave country that used mahi-mahi instead of chicken. Despite the meaning of his name, Iruka had no issue eating a fish that people called a dolphin-fish. It was also quite tasty. Sakumo opted for water as his choice of drink and chose a beef curry hailing a little closer to home.
Of course, Kakashi had to choose violence.
Like Sakumo, Kakashi went with water to drink but picked a dish whose recipe allegedly originated from Grass Country. It was also the spiciest dish on the menu.
Iruka gave him a side-eye, which Kakashi answered with a shrug and murmured, “Gai said it was amazing.”
Iruka rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, even though he had a lot he wanted to say. Thoughts such as ‘do you remember that one time you thought you were getting a mouthful of guacamole, except it was wasabi instead?’ or ‘Gai might be your best friend, but that man has no boundaries, and you have no business taking him at his word. Even if he is ten-thousand percent honest.’
While they waited for their supper, Sakumo lightly interrogated the both of them.
“So how did this blockhead manage to get you to go on a date with him?” Sakumo asked, watching them expectantly as he picked up his glass of water to take a sip.
“Dad!” Kakashi growled.
Iruka wasn’t sure if he was angry at being called a blockhead or embarrassed that his father was asking how they got together.
Iruka wasn’t going to answer it honestly, of course, since they ended up in bed sweaty and naked before Iruka managed to get him to go on a proper date. But even then, their first date, a picnic beneath the stars, had them naked and sweaty outside .
Iruka bit his lip to stop himself from cackling.
“I was the one that had to ask him out,” Iruka said instead. A fact. “He’s so bashful. I don’t think there’s a name for the color of red he turned.” He added mercilessly. Also true.
“Iruka!” Kakashi hissed, elbowing Iruka in the side.
Sakumo laughed loud enough that he had to cover his mouth to muffle it. “Oh, I know. When he was little, I accidentally embarrassed him one day, and he turned so red that he decided he wanted to wear a mask the following day.”
“Oh my god!” Kakashi groaned, slapping a hand over his face. “Please shut up.”
Iruka did cackle then.
Together, they needled Kakashi a bit more but eventually moved on to other topics, such as the upcoming term at the academy and Sakumo’s hatred of visiting dignitaries. Kakashi supplied some of his thoughts as their discussion evolved. The atmosphere felt comfy, and Iruka was enjoying himself very much. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a good time. All of his worries about meeting Sakumo tonight were gone by the time their food showed up.
Iruka’s curry choice turned out to be quite tasty indeed. The dish had a tame spiciness that balanced nicely with the creamy coconut milk. The mahi-mahi was perfectly cooked, and its fishiness was not as distinct, fitting perfectly with the overall mildness of the curry. Kakashi’s curry made Iruka’s eyes itch painfully just looking at the angry red dish. But he looked content enough shoveling spoonfuls into his mouth even though his face was beginning to heat up.
Sakumo wiped his mouth and asked, “How’s your food?”
His plate was already half gone.
“Amazing, as usual,” Iruka replied, taking another big bite of his curry.
Kakashi quickly swallowed down his bite of food, but it looked strained.
“It’s good,” Kakashi managed to say, but the words came out a little hoarse.
Iruka narrowed his eyes at Kakashi, scrutinizing him closely. There were very obvious blotches of red covering his cheeks and nose. Kakashi’s lips parted a little as he panted lightly. Clear signs that the spiciness was catching up with him—and fast.
“Milk or lemonade?” Iruka asked Kakashi preemptively. “And stop eating that you’re making my mouth burn just watching you.”
Iruka was genuinely surprised the smell alone hadn’t murdered Kakashi’s nose and was surprised still that he decided to eat it.
Kakashi dutifully put his spoon down as he answered, “Milk.”
Iruka flagged down the waitress.
*
“I’m sorry about that,” Iruka sighed as he returned to the table alone.
The milk may have calmed the fires of hell blazing in Kakashi’s mouth and throat, but it did nothing to soothe the liquid fire boiling in his bowels. Iruka took Kakashi back to his apartment so that he didn’t have to suffer in public, while he finished up with Sakumo. He could check in on Kakashi afterward.
“It’s not a problem,” Sakumo said as he waved his hand dismissively. “Kakashi has always had digestive problems. He shat his pants once, you know.”
Iruka choked on his sip of tea.
“He what?!” Iruka managed to ask between coughs and gasps.
Sakumo looked too excited to tell the story, which meant it had to be good.
“After my wife passed, it was just Kakashi and me. I had no one I could trust to watch over him, so I took him with me on most missions.”
Iruka pulled a face, not happy someone would take their child on missions with them.
Sakumo sighed. “I know. I didn’t like doing it either, but I didn’t have a large clan to look after him. During that time, clan children were going missing, and I couldn’t risk Kakashi getting kidnapped while I was out of the village.”
Iruka nodded, filing away the missing children bit for later, and said, “I guess that makes sense.”
“Anyway, it was a B-rank reconnaissance mission. We were out in the middle of nowhere, and I had forgotten to pack his normal food like an idiot. I had to feed him some mashed-up ration bars mixed with water. Biggest mistake of my life.” Sakumo laughed. “I had Kakashi strapped to my back when it happened. Liquid shit, everywhere .”
Iruka dropped to the table and buried his head in his arms as he laughed.
“The smell was awful, and I only had one spare set of clothes for him. I had to burn the defiled set. It was a long week.”
“Oh, man!” Iruka gasped when he lifted himself off the table and wiped the tears of hard laughter from his eyes. Imagining Kakashi’s outraged face when he threw this little memory back in his face one day made him grin so hard his face hurt. Sometimes he forgot Konoha’s “Elite” we children at one time, and they had parents that made mistakes like this. Sakumo mirrored his grin, knowing full well the chaos he was sowing by sharing this with Iruka.
“My son is lucky to have someone as caring as you,” Sakumo said in the lull of their mirth.
Iruka blushed. He had been a lot more confident when he wasn’t the only one under Sakumo’s scrutiny. “I think I’m the lucky one,” Iruka countered.
“As much as he complains, Kakashi is still my boy. My little copycat.” Sakumo smiled ruefully. “He bears great weight on his shoulders, and it’s been that way since he was born. Such a sensitive, kind soul.”
Iruka was unsure how to feel about that admittance. He had no idea where this was going and had nothing appropriate to say either, so he remained silent and still as Sakumo continued.
“I never thought I’d see the day that Kakashi would find someone he wanted to fall in love with. Genuinely. As shinobi, even in our village, some hide their true selves, motives, and goals. Kakashi doesn’t trust easily, but he does trust you. To such astonishing lengths.”
“I don’t know how he can. We haven’t been together that long,” Iruka demurred, feeling embarrassed now.
“He does,” Sakumo affirmed. “If he didn’t trust you, he wouldn’t have let you handle him as you did. He was in a vulnerable position and trusted your judgment. Kakashi ten years ago would have told you to fuck off.” He grinned.
Iruka snorted. “He certainly was a brat.”
Sakumo nodded in agreement.
“The reason I’m telling you this is because, for as aloof as that brat can be, he wears his heart on his sleeve.”
‘Oh boy, here it comes,’ Iruka thought, realizing what was happening, as Sakumo leaned forward across the table.
“If one of you so much as breaks the other’s heart, you will feel my wrath. I have not survived fifty-something years to see my blockhead of a son ruin the best-damned thing he has ever had. Nor will I suffer a son-in-law that treats my sensitive child poorly.” Sakumo said in a menacing tone that brokered no argument.
Iruka should have been vowing never to kick Kakashi’s (cute) skinny ass again but instead, what came out of his mouth was: “Son-in-law?”
“I expect an invitation to the wedding.”
Iruka didn’t know what to think about that.
*
They departed from the restaurant, with Sakumo promising to bring Kakashi’s baby pictures for their next get-together.
He had a cute photo of tiny Kakashi pretending to be the Hokage, wearing a colander for a hat and a big fluffy towel for robes.
*
Iruka returned to his apartment, finding Kakashi curled up under the covers on his bed. He was glad to see that he wasn’t a prisoner of the toilet.
“I’m back,” Iruka announced, perching himself on the edge of the bed. He petted one of the bumps in the covers, which he hoped was Kakashi’s head, soothingly. “Did you take the medicine that I gave you?”
Kakashi’s answering groan was muffled by the blankets. He’d take it as an affirmative.
“I don’t know why you were worried. I’m disappointed you didn’t get us together sooner.”
“It was so embarrassing,” Kakashi whined as he struggled to pull the blanket off his head, only to get it down to his nose.
Iruka bit the inside of his cheek hard to keep himself from cracking up. Kakashi had no idea just how embarrassing it could have been.
To distract himself, Iruka leaned down and kissed Kakashi’s forehead. “I had a good time. Your dad promised me baby pictures next time we get together. I’m looking forward to it.”
Kakashi whimpered. “You should have left me to die by curry. It would be a more humane way to go.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Iruka complained as he gently tugged at Kakashi’s hair. “It wasn’t that bad. And he only threatened me a little. I like him.”
Kakashi poked a hand out of the blankets to grab Iruka’s and tugged it back into the safety of the blankets. “I’m glad. I was afraid he wasn’t going to approve.”
“Was that your lack of faith in your dad or me?” Iruka questioned, using his index finger to pet Kakashi’s cheek as Kakashi nuzzled his hand.
“He’s overprotective.”
Iruka smiled, knowing full well that Kakashi was overprotective too.
“Well, you ought to know, we’re getting married now. He wants an invitation to the wedding.” Iruka announced.
“If he shows you the pictures, he’s not invited. As a shinobi of Konoha, I have a right to bar terrorists from public gatherings.” Kakashi said gravely. “It’s my duty as a jounin to keep the peace.”
Iruka rolled his eyes. “You’re not protecting anyone from anything right now. No more recommendations from Gai.”
“Fine,” Kakashi grumbled. “Now come cuddle me, I’m in pain.”
“Drama queen,” Iruka muttered as he stripped down to his boxers and buried himself underneath Kakashi’s nest of blankets, pulling his boyfriend close.
“I expect a marriage proposal in six months.” Iruka teased.
“I already want a divorce.” Kakashi shot back.
Bonus:
1 Week Earlier
Kakashi was sprawled out on one of the couches in the jounin-ready room, bored out of his mind, when Sakumo walked in unannounced. Usually, such an event would garner more urgency, but his father didn’t seem troubled.
“Kakashi,” he said in greeting, “When were you planning to introduce me to Iruka?”
Kakashi shot up so fast he almost fell off the couch. “Planning to what?!”
Sakumo smirked at him. “Son, I’ve got eyes and I’m not stupid. I would very much like to meet your boyfriend, ah-ah!” he waggled his finger at Kakashi in a scolding manner when Kakashi tried to protest, “Next week. That will give you enough time to tell Iruka and prepare yourself. We’ll go to that curry place you like.”
“Absolutely not!” Kakashi growled. “How did you even find out?!”
His father laughed menacingly. It was just a little creepy.
“A Hokage never reveals his secrets, Kakashi,” Sakumo tutted disapprovingly.
Kakashi had a few solid ideas of how he got his intel. He would have to torture Tenzou later.
“Bribery is unbecoming of a Hokage, you know,” Kakashi snarked back. Sakumo scoffed.
“I’ll see you for our usual dinner tomorrow,” Sakumo said, finally turning to leave. Before he exited the ready room, he looked over his shoulder at Kakashi and added, “I don’t think it has to be said what I’ll do to you if you hurt Iruka. Just know that you will live to regret it.”
“You’re not supposed to give the shovel talk to me, Dad!” Kakashi shouted at the back of Sakumo’s head. Fruitless as the endeavor was.
“Oh, I know! But I also know what you’re like, brat!” Sakumo shouted from further down the hall.
Kakashi groaned and flopped back down on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes in despair.
He desperately tried not to think about the hell that would ensue when his father and Iruka finally met.
Fuck.