Chapter Text
Seana Parker left her hometown in Virginia for greener pastures when she was 19. At 22, she had made a name for herself with Napster, and so she headed west to Silicon Valley. She came ready to teach the dot-com industry a thing or two, but in the process she learned three important lessons.
1. Don’t mix business and pleasure.
Back in high school, Seana had laughed at those girls who wore cute dresses and spent an hour on makeup just for the chance to catch a lacrosse player’s eye. She had an entire network of fellow computer geniuses, almost all male (and despite the stereotype, not entirely unattractive), at her beck and call. A little exchange of code and she had a guaranteed hookup.
Palo Alto was different. Sure, it was essentially the same setup – brilliant boys who she dazzled with her technical skills and charm – but these were fully grown men with money and power. And that made all the difference.
At one of her first networking events after the move, she met Mitchell Manningham. They spent the entire event secluded in a corner table, exchanging one idea after another, dizzy from the possibilities more than the champagne.
Manningham (“call me Mitch”) invited Seana back to his place for coffee when the night was over. And they did have cups of espresso from his fancy machine – after three enthusiastic rounds of sex. Seana left the next morning with Mitch’s business card and a promise of investment in her next venture.
Three months later and Seana’s new company is poised to become the next big thing in contact management, thanks to her vision and the generous investment of Manningham’s group. They’re headed into a meeting with some potential clients when Mitch pulls Seana aside.
“Listen, I think you’d better let me handle this one. I’ll let you know if there’s anything that needs clarification,” he says quietly. He smiles benignly and turns to head in.
“Excuse me?” Seana isn’t sure why there’s a sudden change of plans; she knows how to sell her product better than anybody. “What, do you not think I can handle this?”
“Oh, sweetheart. There are just some things better left men.”
Seana is nobody’s sweetheart. She storms in to the conference room and takes the reins before the others have a chance. In just under an hour, they have a new client. She smirks triumphantly at Manningham as they leave.
When Seana is forced out the next month for “being too aggressive” with her business tactics, she knows her real mistake was going home with Manningham all those months ago. Men like that can’t separate the sexual from the intellectual; a woman who acts like one has no place in their world.
Fine, if they want to play that way, Seana can play. She splurges on the Prada blazer she’d been eying for a while, makes sure she looks fucking immaculate, because it’s all about dressing the part, right?
Besides, the Stanford undergrads are easy and plentiful when she’s looking for a quick fuck. At least that reputation stays on campus.
2. Be the life of the party, but don’t fall prey to it.
Seana’s always been a little careful of the drugs she experimented with, especially since that time with the joint when her friends decided peanut butter crackers made good munchies.
But she learns to be especially careful when she has a little too much to drink at a Stanford party one night. Her boy toy for the night (Br-something. Brian? Bryce?) has disappeared into another room to do some lines, so she’s grateful for the strong grip on her elbow when she stumbles out onto the porch. Before she can turn around to say thanks, bro, she feels the stranger’s boozy breath against her cheek and the strain of his erection against her back.
“Actually, I usually like to at least see a guy before I fuck them,” she says, aiming for a cool brush-off.
“Oh please, honey. A little thing like you stumbling out here all alone? You were just asking for it.”
She twists away and makes for the door, but her reaction time is slow and the guy manages to catch her wrist. “Where do you think you’re going? The fun was just starting.”
Seana is damn lucky that a group of sorority sisters are making their way out of the house at that moment. One of them squints in recognition at the guy, and immediately starts telling him off leaving her sister alone on the dance floor.
Seana takes advantage of the argument and slips away, decides to head home by herself instead of finding whats-his-face. She doesn’t feel like company tonight, not anymore.
Of course, both the Stanford kids and the venture capitalists still expect her to party it up with the rest of them. Seana’s not stupid, she’s seen how those few sober people are treated – passed over for opportunities because they’re “too uptight” or “uninspiring”. She has ideas, okay, good ones, and she knows how to turn them into tangible wealth if she can just make the right connections.
So Seana learns to fake being drunk, learns to accept drinks and dump them discreetly, and she learns to bring her own stash of goods, too. Nobody questions your sobriety when you’re the one handing out the coke and joints.
3. Don’t be afraid to play dirty.
From the second Seana sets eyes on theFacebook, she knows it’s something she needs to be a part of. Meeting Mark Zuckerberg in person only confirms it. The kid is fucking brilliant, willing to take risks, and best of all, he seems to genuinely admire her intelligence. For all that he blogged about his ex-girlfriend’s chest size, he doesn’t once glance down at Seana’s admittedly low-cut shirt.
Eduardo Saverin is a different story. At first, Seana thinks he’s checking her out – which, given the possessive arm he put around his girlfriend early on, is pretty sleazy – but then she realizes he’s sizing her up. At least he’s smart enough to recognize that she’s a threat.
If this were Seana’s company, she’d never have involved a guy like Eduardo. From his shined shoes to his knotted tie, he just screams future Wall Street banker with a trophy wife and two kids. He is the antithesis of an Internet startup company, and judgmental besides.
Seana brushes off Eduardo’s pathetic attempts at accusation and focuses on warming Mark to the idea of moving to Silicon Valley. It doesn’t take long to have him nodding at every other sentence she says. Hell, even Christy agrees with her. (Seana revises her earlier opinion of the girl as simple arm candy. She can appreciate women who have brains and beauty and use both to get their way.)
She doesn’t linger after dessert, just signs the check, gives her final piece of advice, and leaves. No point in trying to shoehorn her way into the company; Seana’s given them a glimpse of what she can do and that’s enough for now. Nobody’s going to buy the cow if you’re giving the milk away for free, Seana, her mother used to admonish. Marriage isn’t her thing, but it’s certainly an apt business metaphor.
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Seana’s been busy trying to stay afloat on her meager savings while finding new ventures, so she’s surprised to see Mark Zuckerberg behind the door when she and Shane decide to see what his noisy neighbors are up to.
It takes a bit of cajoling, but Seana convinces Mark to let her show him around the city that night. She decides to bring along a few of her model friends and takes them to Ruby Skye. Seana wants Mark to see what it’s like to be young and successful in Silicon Valley, wants him to know that he can have it too.
Mark doesn’t seem to care much for the club, so Seana decides to get to the point. It turns out bringing Melanie wasn’t a total crapshoot though, since Mark’s comment about her is the perfect lead-in to a cautionary tale about bad business decisions.
“Was that a parable?” he asks, squinting suspiciously.
Seana just laughs. “My friend’s a Victoria’s Secret model. Don’t be impressed by all this; I read your blog.”
It’s funny the way Mark is so modest about Facemash, the way he doesn’t seem to understand that Seana is cut from the same mold. They both grew up as outcasts, too nerdy for their peers, shoved to the side for those who fit in better. But out here, you don’t have to put on a nice suit and pander to The Man to get places. Her infamy is built on a giant fuck you to the old guard, a middle finger to the “cool kids” still stuck in Virginia.
Facebook is too good of an idea for conventional businesses; it needs a healthy amount of that anarchic attitude to keep growing. She knows that Mark can see that, so why his his CFO still running around New York looking for ads?
Seana’s never been a very moral person, but this is about as close as she gets. Short of slapping Mark across the face and yelling Get Wardo out here and make him do the job right, there isn’t much else she can do about that.
Expansion, though? Not a problem. Europe is the perfect place to bring Facebook next. And if it means they’ll need more funds, well, Seana can definitely set up some meetings with people for Mark if Eduardo doesn’t have time.
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Seana’s been staying at the Facebook house for about a week when she starts bringing some of the Stanford kids by. See, normally she’s sleeping with the guys she stays with, or the person owes her a favor. But Mark is beyond uninterested in hooking up with Seana, and he gave her a pretty scary glare when she tried flirting with Dustin to see how he took it, so that’s not an option. Still, she’s heard them all complain more than once about how hard it is to meet cute girls when it’s summer break and there are no house parties to crash.
Seana decides that her contribution to the house in lieu of rent will be to bring the party to them. She calls up a bunch of girls she knows are still around and a few guys she’s still on good terms with, supplies them with alcohol and weed, and lets them loose in the living room. Mark smirks at her knowingly the first few times, but he sits and has a few drinks before turning back to his computer, so that’s something.
It’s fun, having different people over and watching Dustin get repeatedly tongue-tied, and it seems to help spawn creative ideas for Facebook, but jesus, Seana is starting to feel a little like her mother with all the hostess duties she’s pulling.
So there she is a few weeks later, trying to have a phone conversation while making guacamole and margaritas for Chelsea and Katie, when there’s a knock on the door. Dustin has been distracted his whole shift, stealing glances at the girls instead of finishing the code Mark had been so desperate to get up before he crashed. Seana snaps at him for the fifth time to wire in and gets the door herself.
Theoretically, Seana had known that Eduardo was coming to visit. It’s still a bit of a shock to see him standing on their doorstep, though. She hangs up and greets Eduardo with a friendly, “What’s up?”
Okay, Seana would be pretty pissed too if she was left waiting at the airport for two hours, so she tries to keep her responses upbeat even as Eduardo gets increasingly hostile. She watches as Eduardo’s gaze lands on the girls giggling over the bong and knows this isn’t going to end well.
“How old are they, Seana?”
Seriously? Like she’s some corrupter of the youth now? “It’s not polite to ask.”
“Seana, how old are they?” he asks again.
Actually, asshole, they’re the same age as Mark and Dustin. Want to protect their virtue, too?, she wants to yell. But it’s no use trying to defend herself against somebody who has already painted her evil, so instead she says, “You think you know me.”
Then Mark comes down, happy to see his best friend and excited to show him what’s been happening. When he gets to the part about Peter Thiel, Eduardo goes from irritated to irate and starts laying in on Mark. Seana interrupts in the snottiest way she knows how, hoping that Eduardo will direct some of his anger at her instead, but it only makes him more determined to talk to Mark.
The living room is awkwardly silent as they shut the hallway door. Seana takes a deep breath and puts on a smile. No use scaring everyone else, right? “Uh, bong hit!”
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The next few days are absolutely insane. Peter Thiel agrees to invest half a million dollars, and that same night they find that Eduardo’s gone and froze their account. Mark and Dustin get their parents to loan them a few thousand each, and Seana convinces Thiel to fast-track the investment process. Once she’s sure they’ll be okay for the next few days, Seana breaks out the champagne.
When they officially incorporate a week later, Mark makes Seana president, which is awesome. He also asks her about dilution tactics, which is even better. She pictures the blog entry Mark’s composing in that brilliant mind of his: Eduardo Saverin is a dick.
They make another visit to Thiel’s office and hash out a special contract for Eduardo’s 30 percent. The next step is up to Seana and Mark.
Seana knows Manningham has been asking around about Facebook. This is the perfect opportunity to have her cake and eat it, too. She drives Mark into the city in his pajamas and slippers and sends him on up to the 30th floor of the building on Mission Street with strict instructions.
The investment’s in the bag. Manningham can’t so no to that kind of brilliance; he’ll be begging Mark to take the money. But first, Seana will make sure he knows that she doesn’t forget. Nobody fucks with her. Seana has the power this time, and any push out will be on her terms, not his.
It works. Mark leaves the boardmembers stunned, and they get the investment offer the next morning. Then it’s just a matter of redistributing the shares correctly.