Chapter Text
In the long list of terrible fucking situations Dave and his sister had found themselves in, Dave was willing to admit this one was the worst.
The Mojave Wasteland was an open bar of dynamite-fetishists, Old World fascists, laser-armed robots, hyper-aggressive wildlife, and landlords. Together, they'd survived it for years, greasing the edges of the world to slide out of every scrape they wound up in, coming out smeared in desert dust and smiling. They were invincible so long as they had each other's backs.
Until Dave woke up in an abandoned work tower in Quarry fucking Junction.
He knew he was in a bad place because the smell of the desert had been exchanged for the smell of chalkier sediment. The dirt was wrong here, and Dave was halfway to a panic by the time he got his hands under himself and hauled his face off the floor.
"Rose," Dave croaked. His throat was sandpaper dry. He dragged his tongue over his teeth, trying to work up any saliva. There was a vague medicinal tang; he'd been drugged. They'd been drugged. "Rose, wake the fuck up."
The small room they were in was rickety, swaying slightly in the night sky as the Nevada wind buffeted them around. Getting his hand on the edge of a window, Dave pulled himself up and peered out.
They were high. Two or three storeys up easy. All around them was white stone and machinery. Prowling around on the white stone were motherfucking goddamn deathclaws, hunched and horned with daggers for hands.
Dave's heart pounded in his chest, pushing nauseatingly against the lingering sedatives in his system. "Oh fuck, oh shit what the fuck, Rose, Rose Rose Rose." He lowered himself down to the floor again, out of view of the window and grabbed his sister, shaking her.
Rose's eyelashes fluttered and her eyes behind them rolled like a crapshoot. Something was up, and when Dave looked her over, he saw an empty syringe on the floor next to her arm.
Oh that fucking Med-X happy cattlelord. That was right, Dave and Rose were trying to pull a con on that fucker. He must've figured it out and decided to punish them by, what? Leaving them to be torn to pieces in a deathclaw den?
"Shit, shitshitshit," Dave said, sitting up with his back to the metal sheet wall. "Why the fuck did he only get you high out of your fuckin' mind? You aren't going to feel a thing. This is bullshit." He took a breath. "I could use someone to brainstorm with right now, sis."
Rose's head rolled, her eyes open. No one was home yet.
Out of morbid curiosity, Dave patted himself down and discovered his gun was gone. So that way out was off the table too.
Out of all the ways to go, Dave didn't want it to be deathclaws. Or cazadors, honestly. He didn't want to be killed by terrifying Mojave wildlife. He so preferred being shot. Or getting heat stroke. Or choking on a cherry stem. Or being run over by a security bot. Anything.
Hissing out a sigh, Dave got up and looked around. The tower they were in only had one way down, a long ramp down right into the quarry. And the way out would be probably a two minute sprint across the dusty stone.
If he were alone, anyway. Dave looked down at Rose, who wasn't up for running anywhere.
"Fuck," Dave sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. So there wasn't a ton of options here and the ones he had all sucked. A lesser man would lay down and cry.
Dave sniffled, rubbing his eyes once, then looked around.
There was a radio. It was set into the metal wall, near the console. His eyes skated over it the first time, because who cared, more Old World shit laying around.
Then, he remembered that people actually wanted to, like, get the quarry up and running again. The NCR wanted to repave some roads or whatever the fuck. It was the deathclaws that stopped the mining. Quarrying. Whatever.
Keeping his head down, Dave grabbed the mic off the hook and tentatively pressed the buttons on the radio.
With a tired hum, the display lit up.
"Oh my fucking god, yes. Lady Luck flips a face card." He got closer, hand on the dial and started turning it, listening to the dead fuzz of empty air as he looked for a useful channel, anywhere someone might be listening.
Eventually, there was a low pop, and a different type of fuzz. Pressing down on the mic, Dave said in a voice as loud as he dared, "Hello? Mayday, hello, S-O-S. Is anyone receivin'? Someone out there wanna pick up the other tin can and pull that line taut, I could use some help. I got an injured lady here and a whole mess of trouble." Nothing. Dave ground his teeth together. "If anyone is getting this, say anything. I will make it worth your while. My sis and I, our daddy's with the Gun Runners, I will get you as many caps or dollars you want—"
There was something other the line, and Dave took his thumb off the mic immediately. The voice that answered him was scratchy and tired. "I don't think that's true. Were you lying about being tragic orphans?" The voice paused for just a moment. "Wait, what the fuck am I saying, you both would have said anything you needed to. Of course you were lying about being orphans."
"Holy shit, ranger man!" Dave said, then clapped a hand over his mouth. Now that he knew the frequency was good, Dave slumped down to the floor next to Rose, keeping the mic in his fist. "God, I gotta be fuckin' quiet. Hey there, you're the ranger who resolutely refused to sleep with either of us despite, I think, many very kind offers."
"Vantas," the voice said over the line. "The name was Vantas, alright, jesus."
"NCR Ranger Karkat Vantas, callsign Cancer, I remember you just fine, don't you worry about that." Dave pulled some of Rose's hair away from her sweaty forehead. "Hey, so, where you at?"
"How the fuck did you know—" Karkat sighed over the airwaves. "This is a monitored channel. I can't tell you that."
"Okay, well, are you anywhere in the vicinity of Sloan because if not, you need to break out some pen and paper, I'm gonna dictate my last will and testament before we're shredded by deathclaws. Dealer's choice."
"Death— what the fuck, where are you?"
"Sloan, the quarry, keep up."
"Why the fuck are you in an active deathclaw nest?"
"Some guy didn't like what we were sellin' and was way less polite about it than you. Nobody out here got your West Coast charms, California boy." Dave took a breath. "Rose is whacked out on Med-X, she and I are in a crane tower thing, there's claws all around. Any ideas?"
"Fuck me, goddammit. I was going to be off duty in twenty fucking minutes," Karkat said. "Keep your fucking head down and wake her up. Be ready to run when you get an opportunity."
"What kind of opportunity?" Dave asked, already starting to slap Rose's face lightly.
"I don't fucking know yet, but it'll probably be loud. Bye."
"Good luck," Dave said, unsure if Karkat was still listening. Putting the radio up, he focused on waking his drugged out sister up. He'd seen her do The Charleston after soloing two bottles of wine, Dave knew if he could get her going she could at least run in the direction he pointed her in.
He had no idea what the fuck was going to get them out of the junction in one piece. Maybe if they had, like, three rangers and some shelling ordinance, that'd do it. What one guy from out West was going to do, Dave had no idea.
Then, an hour later, there was an explosion, and a rockslide came down right on one of the big-ass meaner-looking alpha deathclaws. It roared in pain, and the rest of the nest all darted towards them, letting out their own horrible cries.
"What t'fuck," Rose mumbled.
Dave hauled her up. "Time to go."
Karkat Vantas met the twins when he was off-duty in a nothing town called Freeside. It was outside the walls of the New Vegas Strip itself, which suited Karkat just fine; inside those gates, the neon tax on everything made his salary vanish into the bottom of shallow glass. He didn't care about the slots or the tables or the dancers. He just wanted something to drink and a light to read by. That was it. The simple pleasures of a book from long ago and being off his feet for a while.
The problem was the woman who kept sizing him up from across the bar. Karkat had grabbed the furthest seat he could because the table had a lamp. As he sipped his tequila and sarsaparilla, she kept catching his eye, her own smudged dark and smoky. There were dangling earrings framing her face and they caught the dim light like distant lightning flashing through the clouds.
She looked like a night he couldn't afford even if he saved every dollar of his stipend. The third time she looked at him, Karkat frowned and shook his head as subtly as he could before pointedly looking back down at his book. Please, not right now.
He wasn't an idiot; he knew why she was trying to hook him. He was NCR, he wasn't on duty. No matter how much New Vegas people didn't like the Republic, they never turned away its money. Sitting in Freeside on his own, Karkat probably looked like a particularly perfect mark.
His internal pleas went unheard. The woman walked over to his table and sat across from him. Her nails were painted; Karkat absolutely could not afford her.
"It's dreadfully rude," she said, voice soft and genteel. "Ignoring a woman's attention so stridently." She looked at him through her lashes. "Someone might think you want to go to bed alone."
"Look," Karkat said, pained. "You're probably really nice and very good at your job. I'm just not buying."
She lifted her chin slightly and peered at him closely. "Hm. You're truly not interested? What if I were ready to offer you a steep discount?" When he grimaced and shook his head, she hummed. "Alright, you're gay. I actually am too, I'm just a very good actress and needs must. But that's beside the point. I need you to humor me."
He wasn't going to correct her; it wasn't any of her fucking business. Still, he raised his eyebrows. "And why is that?"
"Because I've been out all evening looking for a mark, and there's a gang member who's been shadowing me for hours. No, don't look," she said, holding Karkat's gaze. "I thought I'd lost him before I returned here, but apparently not. I don't know him personally, but he doesn't seem the paying type, and I don't want to lead him right to my room."
That… was a situation. Even though Karkat was off fucking duty and was supposed to be relaxing for once, he could feel the curl of concern start to pace in his chest. "Okay. That does sound bad. Do you want me to arrest him?" Or he could try a more permanent solution. If he was the type who thought this woman was fair game, the Mojave wouldn't miss him.
"No. The last thing I want is a reputation for getting clients in trouble with the NCR. However." She glanced over at Karkat's gear, at the heavy mantled coat draped over the chair. "If a ranger was seen following me to my room for the evening…" The woman leaned on the table, lowering her voice further. "Come upstairs. I have an above-average bottle of wine. I also have an above-average brother, if that's more to your tastes. Either way, just come and spend the night."
It sounded very reasonable. And honestly, Karkat didn't like the idea of letting her walk away without something to protect her.
She continued staring at him. "Also there's a bathtub."
"Fine," Karkat said, and finished his drink. "Only for the bath. And… to keep you from getting hurt." Shaking his head, he folded the corner of his page and grabbed his gear. "God, I fucking miss California."
"If you think people in my profession don't have to navigate dangerous people in your golden promised land of democracy and paper money, I have news for you. But that's fine." She stood with him, and said, "My name is Rose, by the by. Let me introduce you to Dave."
"I'm not—" Karkat inhaled through his nose. "Whatever. Karkat. I'm Karkat. Lets go."
Rose slipped her hand through Karkat's arm, and led him upstairs.
At the door, Rose stepped away and rapped on the door in a very particular way: three taps with her nails and two knuckle-knocks.
It swung open, and a tilted mirror image of her stood in the way. "What the hell took you so long, you were gone—" Her brother, Dave, stopped and looked at the shadow standing behind Rose. "Sis, you gave me the all-clear knock, not the entertainin' knock."
"Inside," Rose said, and nudged Dave back. "Come in, Karkat."
The hope that maybe he could just walk her to her suite and leave evaporated. Karkat looked down the hallway to ensure no one was watching, then followed them inside.
"Wait, are you a ranger?" Dave flicked a finger against the ranger helmet under Karkat's arm. "Rose, why are you pullin' a ranger?"
"I was being tailed. I tried to legitimately seduce him, but he was unmoved."
"Oh," Dave said, and looked Karkat over. "Hi."
"Look," Karkat said, mostly tired. "I'm not really, uh, interested in that kind of company. Your sister was in trouble and she said you had a bath. That's it. I just want to actually relax during my few measly fucking hours of leave and read my book."
"Well aren't you just full of that California sunshine." Dave shrugged and loped over to the bed, tossing himself onto it and rolling onto his back. "Sure, whatever. I'm not gonna complain about it. Love when I don't gotta put on a show."
Rose was taking off her shoes and earrings. "Through there," she said, pointing to a door.
Back in California, there were water heaters in the nicer hotels. In the Mojave, they blissfully didn't, which was perfect, honestly. Karkat hadn't wanted to be exposed to additional heat since he arrived in this fucking desert. The only tenable times were the cold nights, and he tended to travel from evening to dawn before finding a place to settle into to rest. He'd always been kind of nocturnal, always taking the night watch, but being out here really drew that out of him.
Locking the door, Karkat put down his bag and rifle in the corner and got his armor off. The water was cold enough to bite his skin, and he laid in it for longer than he'd usually dare before scrubbing up. Watching days of sand and gunpowder come off him was more refreshing than any drink the Strip had to offer. He'd had yet to meet a bathtub that could hold him, but it was still satisfying to nearly hook his legs out and submerge himself from head to hips and just lay there under the water for a while, breathing out a long slow stream of bubbles and waiting until his chest started to pang with a protestation for oxygen.
Cleaning up, he dug some civvies out of his bag and got dressed before putting his ear to the door and listening. It was fairly quiet out there, with only a soft punctuation of, "Oh, knock it off, David," and "Don't David me, shut up," in the soft tones of sibling familiarity.
He couldn't stay in here all night. Sighing, Karkat unlocked the door and stepped out.
Immediately, one of the duo whistled at him. When he turned to glare, both of them looked identically innocent. They had to be twins. A pair of New Vegas twins felt dangerous.
They were sitting on the bed with a card game laid out between them on the comforter. "Hey, ranger, you play?" Dave asked.
"I'm okay with reading," Karkat muttered.
"Damn, for real? Like." Falling lazily onto his side, Dave rolled onto his back, looking upside-down at Karkat. "You got me or Rose or both if that's your thing, lots of people dig that option, and you want to read?" His brow furrowed. "Oh, damn, do you just not at all? Like, categorically thanks-but-no-thanks?"
Rose rolled her eyes and assailed Dave with a card from the deck, whipping it at him with speed. "That's too personal by half. Even if you figure it out, don't say it out loud, it's uncouth."
"I'm not—" Karkat rubbed his face. "Both of you, I— Goddammit, I know this is your job, but I just don't… really do the casual thing, alright?"
"That's very sweet," Rose said, and Karkat felt himself flush darkly. "Consider it an open offer regardless. And here is another: drink?"
Yeah. Yeah, Karkat could use a fucking drink.
Down the road from the quarry, Dave was set upon by a man in black.
The full NCR ranger regalia was a fucking sight to behold. That mantle was like death's own cloak, and the faint glow of the red lens stood out vividly in the Mojave night, a unique color smudged across the blue-ink dark. It got something in the hindbrain raising its hackles.
Dave watched the ranger approach and held out a canteen. "Drink?"
There was a slightly metallic, filtered sigh before Karkat reached up, letting his rifle swing from its strap across his shoulder, and did something to his helmet. It released, and a mildly handsome face emerged. The moonlight was real kind as it shone over his dark skin. "Thanks," he said, and took the canteen, taking a huge swallow.
"Much obliged for the rescue, ranger man. That was some dynamic thinking."
From where she lay on Dave's lap, her hands pressed to her face, Rose moaned. "Why are you shouting?"
"Is she alright?" Karkat asked.
"Uh, probably." It was hard to see in the thin light of the crescent moon, so Dave leaned down closer. Rose groaned and pushed his face away. "Rose's got a high tolerance but I think they had to stick her with an extra dose to knock her out." She'd already thrown up once after their run out of the quarry, but Dave was a good brother and wasn't going to rat her out.
That made Karkat sigh, and stow his helmet into a loose pouch that was clipped into his vest. "Where's the nearest doctor?"
"Probably gonna have to head back up the hill to Goodsprings, but I don't think she's up for it yet," Dave said.
"Move," Karkat said curtly, and bent to pick Rose up. She made a low, wavering noise as she was set against his shoulder. It was like lifting a bag of casino chips; there was no resistance, just her head lolling. "You're going to have to carry my gear bag, I can't handle it and her and my rifle."
"Oh shit," Dave said, and moved to take the pack from Karkat. It was not light by any fucking means, but it was lighter than a full grown sister. "Check out mister knight in shining armor. Or in matte black armor. Hell yeah, lets go."
"I will endeavor not to throw up on you," Rose said weakly.
"Are you two just always in trouble?" Karkat asked as they started off along the road.
"Usually we're making it, not getting made," Dave said. "This was an exception."
"What was the con?"
"Convincing some cattle baron with more caps than sense we were good for land expansion, and that we had contacts at the Luxe for easy sales." Dave shrugged. "We thought he took the bait, but woke up in that fucking deathtrap."
"Guess your sister didn't see that one coming," Karkat muttered.
Dave shook his head. "Yeah, I guess fuckin' not. Given how bad it broke, I'm gonna forgive her, though. She's already been through a lot. Had to sleep with that asshole twice." Dave wrinkled his nose. "Might be why he took it so damn person'ly."
"Yeah, maybe," Karkat said in a tone that implied this was a phenomenal understatement.
The walk back to Goodsprings took until the first peek of sunlight started to creep over the tops of the hills. The heat would be coming on soon, which would have been bad for Rose for sure.
Instead, they made it up the hill to the doctor's house. Walking up the ramp, Dave reached the door first and knocked as loud as he could.
After it was quiet. Karkat shifted. "Knock again."
"Nah," Dave said, waiting patiently.
It took time for the door to open, and the doctor rolled out. "Hey, Nitram," Dave said. "Long time no see."
"Oh, uh, hey there, Strider," Doc Nitram said with a small smile. "I think I'd say it's, uh, nice to see you, but if you're here…" His eyes slid over to Karkat and followed all the way up. "Oh, is she alive?"
"Yeah. Some assholes drugged her real bad. You got anything for that?"
"Oh, yeah, sure." He tilted his head and rolled his wheelchair back. "You can bring her this way, thanks. Didn't think you, uh, worked with the NCR."
"We don't," Dave said, following along with Karkat's heavy tread behind him. "This one's special as a sunset star cap."
The mention made Doc Nitram spin around, eyes on Dave. "Oh yeah?"
Everyone in the Wasteland had their thing. Keeping track of what each person obsessed over was powerful. Dave reached into his secret pocket sewn into his pants and took out three bottlecaps.
Tavros took them and ran his thumb over the stars emblazoned on the underside of each one. "Oh, nice. Yeah, I'll, uh, take care of her. We'll get some fluids in her and let her sleep through it."
Karkat put Rose down on the exam table outside the kitchen and backed away. "You just gave him three caps," he whispered. "I know the inflation on NCR money is high, but what the fuck."
"They're not those kind of caps," Dave said. "You know about the Sunset Sarsaparilla treasure?"
"The what?"
"Nevermind, tell you later." Stepping up, Dave took Rose's hand and squeezed it. "Hey."
She squinted up at him. "Are we safe?"
"Yep."
"Good. I will pass out now. Please don't get us into any more trouble," she said, and shut her eyes. As if she'd spent the last few hours just barely holding onto consciousness, she let it go all at once, slumping.
Dave blew out a breath. Another bullet dodged. Add it to the collection.
"Uh, do you know what's in her system?" Tavros asked as he tipped over the IV pole and hooked a bag onto it, righting it again.
"Mentats, some whiskey, and at least two doses of Med-X, maybe more. Enough to sedate her."
"Not the best news, but that's okay." He cleaned a spot on Rose's arm and got her properly stabbed and all. "Uh, this is the boring part, I'm just going to make breakfast and watch her for the next few hours." Lifting his head, he eyed Dave. "You've been up all night, so do you want, uh, to sleep for a while?" His eyes darted briefly to Karkat, nervous.
Dave took out another star cap and handed it over. "He's with me, and I think he's house trained."
A flash of a grin lit up Tavros' face as he put the cap away with the rest; he had a big mason jar of the things. Dave knew it was his finest possession. It was also why Tavros had a gun holstered on his chair, a shining revolver loaded and ready at all times. "I'll wake you up when Rose is good to go."
"Thanks, Doc," Dave said, lowering his shades enough to give him a wink. Payment conferred, Dave turned on a toe and walked down the hall, catching Karkat by the coat and pulling him along.
"I should get back to my post," Karkat said.
"You wanna? You want to go sleep in some NCR bolthole on a regulation cot? Or you want to sleep in a real fuckin' bed for a few hours?" He drew Karkat into the bedroom and pushed the door shut before Karkat could protest any more. Dropping the heavy gear bag by the door like a stopper, Dave finally stretched, groaning. "Fuck, that thing is heavy."
"There's only one bed," Karkat pointed out.
"Tavros lives alone. And hey, there was only one back in Freeside," Dave countered. "What, you worried your safety catch is gonna slip and you're gonna ravish me? 'Cause I'm game."
"You and your fucking games," Karkat said quietly, pained.
"So, in the interest of making conversation, who'd you piss off?" Dave asked as he shuffled cards.
Karkat's head jerked up from where he was trying and failing to read his book. He'd probably reread that last page four times now. He considered the question. "Recently?"
Rose let out an inelegant snort, turning her face away for a second. "What he means is we're been in the company of many NCR soldiers, politicians, and contractors. None of them wound up in New Vegas at their own volition. Thus, he is inquiring what terrible fate let you here."
"Oh, that." Closing his book felt like some kind of admission of defeat, so Karkat kept his finger hooked on his page. "I was— wait, why are you asking?"
"Oh my god," Dave groaned. "Sitting here quietly is gonna kill me, we ain't rolling you, come on." Rose nodded in agreement, sipping her wine.
"Fine. I was a ranger back out on the Coast. I didn't piss anyone off, I just…" He frowned and looked down at his hands, dragging his thumb along the worn old pages of the novel. "They made it sound like a promotion. That only the best were being sent out here."
"Oof. Rough."
"It's fine." He missed his friends and missed the ocean and the small luxuries of living in the heart of the New California Republic, but. "There's a lot of work out here that needs to be done. They don't even give us explicit missions out here, just… point us in a direction and tell us to go fix shit. You can't take ten steps in Vegas without running into five fucking problems." Karkat glanced up at them. "What about you? Are you locals?"
"It's the same story as everyone else out here," Rose said.
"Orphaned and left on our own," Dave said.
"Nothing but our names and the clothes on our back."
"Gettin' an early education in the school of hard times."
"Doing what it takes to survive."
"Us versus the world, et cetera."
"Und so weiter und so fort." Rose sighed loudly. "It's so boring."
"Gotta make your fun out here. Hey, do you play cards?" Dave asked.
"No," Karkat said, with deep suspicion.
"Well, you can't live in Vegas without knowing. Like, I'm not even joking, there's times when not knowing how to run the house will get you thrown out naked into a radscorpion pit." He shuffled some more. "Come on, we're probably the safest bet to learn the basics. You don't want to walk into any joint in town and learn on the fly."
"Karkat," Rose said, when Karkat didn't exactly jump at the opportunity. "Let us repay you in some way, or we're likely to hold a grudge."
"Everyone in this wasteland is a sundrunk lunatic," Karkat said, standing up and walking over to the bed. "Fine."
"Fuckin' finally. Time for poker."
"I'm not playing for money, caps or otherwise," Karkat said immediately.
"Then what's the forfeit?"
"Clothes," Rose offered.
"Deal," Dave said.
"What, no! Not deal! Don't deal."
"You're more dressed than we are," Rose told Karkat reasonably. "It seems like a fine enough handicap. And you may stop before full frontal if you like."
He was right. New Vegas twins were dangerous. "I'll stop as soon as I want to," Karkat told her, and settled in on his corner of the bed. "How do I play?"
It turned out: Karkat played… okay. Not great, but it was all just lining up cards and ignoring the twins' attempts to fluster him. That part was going pretty well for a while. Karkat lost his shirt and his undershirt, and figured out Dave was the wolf-whistler; it was the exact same sliding tone as before.
"Damn, California, what did that?" Dave said, and reached out to touch two fingers to the scar that wrapped around Karkat's ribs.
"Feral ghoul pack," Karkat said. "Most of them back West have been cleared out, but there was a particularly large colony left over from this place called the Necropolis."
"Oh, lovely," Rose opined, idly fanning herself with her hand of cards.
"Right? They were starting to wander further and further out, so there was a large operation to push them back and scorch the entire settlement. Had about seventeen rangers working on that. I got grabbed and they started to drag me off. Someone pulled me back, but I lost some skin in the process." He took a swallow of wine. "The ranger who pulled me back was a ghoul herself. Said I looked better with less, uh, smooth skin."
Dave and Rose immediately shared a look. "How long ago was this?" Rose asked.
"Oh, fuck, like… eleven? Maybe? It was one of my first big operations."
"Do you recall her name?"
Did he? He had to think about it. "I… don't think I ever knew. Her callsign was Vodka. She claimed it was part of the NATO alphabet and laughed any anyone dumb enough to believe her."
The twins each smiled. "About six foot, carries the meanest anti-materiel rifle you ever did see?"
"Yeah," Karkat said slowly.
"Aw, Mom," Dave said with a grin. Karkat only knew it then, that all his previous smirks and smiles were in some way false, because this one was bright and real.
"How— what, how is a fucking ghoul— most of them are at least a century old now."
"Oh, yeah, not like." Dave waved a hand, as it that explained it.
"She's not our biological mother, obviously," Rose said. "We're orphans, remember? But Roxy— that is the name we know her by, she helped us out for a while and was happy to wear the moniker after Dave slipped up and called her 'mom' over dinner one night."
"I refuse to feel weird about it. Roxy's badass." He pointed to Rose. "You took her fuckin' name!"
"Yes. A less Freudian tribute." She bowed slightly, as much as she could while seated cross-legged on the bed. "Rose Lalonde."
"I'm stickin' with Strider. It's nice. It suits a fucking desert wanderer."
"Vantas," Karkat said, because some fucking reason it felt right.
"A pleasure." She smiled warmly at him. "Your deal, Ranger Vantas."
The next two hands, Rose lost, and solemnly divested herself of her shirt and brassiere. There were suddenly tits out, and Rose did a showy stretch as she tossed her clothes off the bed.
Her eyes tilted drowsily towards Karkat. He met them evenly, then looked away.
"Hm." Rose flicked her bangs to the side and looked across at her brother. "Mmhm."
Dave sighed, and proceeded to lose the next three out of five hands.
"Lose it," Rose told him sternly.
"Yeah, yeah. I don't know why you're havin' it at me when there's fresh meat right next to us." Still, he threw down his cards and reached for his sunglasses.
"Dave," Rose said warningly.
"Oh fine." Throwing down his glasses onto the cards, he pulled off his undershirt.
There were two sets of tits out. Dave slouched with a weary sigh, everything just… there. His cheek propped up on his fist, Dave looked over at Karkat, face very carefully blank. Waiting.
Karkat could feel the heat in his face. So, okay. He'd being doing well so far being completely fine with all this. There were limits though. So, throwing his curiosity a bone, Karkat stopped and looked at both of them, a long sustained assessment.
That done, he swallowed the rest of his drink and gathered up the cards, starting to shuffle.
"A blush is a fetching look on you," Rose offered sweetly.
"Are we playing or what?" Karkat said. He wished he was better at shuffling. He couldn't do that thing where he did the half-circle with is hands and all the cards flicked rapidly together.
"Very cute," she told him.
"I've killed more raiders than you've had hot meals," Karkat groused. "Let's play."
"Look at him, he's like stone," Dave said.
"I'm going to beat both of you, and that'll be a blight on your record, since I'm a fucking California boy and you're tragic Vegas orphans."
"Oh, will you? And what do you want me to take off next?" Dave asked him.
Karkat's entire face and neck were hot. Rose laughing softly did not help. "A chaste NCR soldier is something like a unicorn."
Dave nodded. "Yeah, I thought you all had a girl in every port or whatever."
"I guess I failed that part of basic training," Karkat mumbled.
"A tragedy, to be certain," Rose said.
"You gotta loosen up. You get off duty and all you want is to read old books," Dave was saying. He reached out and took the cards from Karkat, who was still shuffling them uselessly. Immediately, he did the fast arch with his hands, and the deck combined musically. "Wanna go and get quick married? There's this guy called the King who owes me a favor."
"Not funny," Karkat said.
Strangely, that made Dave lift his head and really look at him. It was like watching dawn slide over a mountain. "Oh my god, you're like… legit about this. You're a bleeding heart. A true post-world romantic."
"So fucking what." Was it possible to pass out from blushing too hard? He felt like it might be.
"Nothin'. It's… new." He started to deal, his eyes on his hands, blissfully releasing Karkat from his gaze. "Forgot that could happen. Finding new things out here in the Mojave. You get used to the same old."
The most important skill that kept you alive in this desert was getting reads on people. Dave needed to be able to tell from a glance how drunk someone was. He needed to learn a secret about them from their drink order. He needed to know their life story from a look in their bag.
When he and Rose had pulled this ranger back in Freeside, the second Karkat had hit a REM cycle, they'd slipped off the bed and padded over to his bag.
Rose had settled in on the floor and hummed softly, creating a veil of noise as she unzipped the bag.
All that Karkat carried was: three old world books, five ammo clips, two pistols, rations for a week, two changes of clothes tightly rolled up, one bottle of tequila, NCR identification papers, a heavily annotated map, and a packed first aid kit with a suspicious lack of chems.
Rose had picked up one of the books. It was a romance. She'd silently lifted her eyebrows at Dave.
"So either he's boring or he's a serial killer," Dave had whispered, barely any noise, trusting Rose to read his lips.
"He's a romantic with top class armor and weaponry," Rose had said, equally quiet. "Useful."
Now, in Goodsprings, Dave watched Karkat divest himself of most of that top class armor, and thought about how this guy had gotten them out of a deathclaw pit just because he happened to be in the neighborhood.
Out here, you had to be be a survivor. You never left chips on the table, never left caps in a pocket, never settled for good enough when every little advantage could be the thing that kept you alive another day.
That was why when they got into bed and Karkat happened to glance over at Dave with those midnight eyes gleaming, Dave curled a hand along his rough jawline and kissed him.
Karkat let out a yelp and fucking rolled back, right off the side of the bed to land on the ground with a loud thump.
Dave eased back. "Okay. Alright. I think I'm a little offended, to be honest."
"You fucking surprised me," Karkat said from the floor.
"No. No, I got that, Vantas, believe it or not. I did catch on." Letting out a sigh, Dave rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. This was not how things tended to go. Rose was better at this, but Dave was just as skilled. He knew what he was doing. Why wasn't it working?
"You didn't hurt yourself down there, d'you?" Dave asked.
Karkat's hand landed on the mattress as he hauled himself up and to his feet. He'd gone all flushed again, like a vault boy getting sun for the first time. "Look. It's not you."
Fucking ouch. "Oh god, can we not."
"I'm serious, okay? It's me, it's…" Tentatively, Karkat sat on the edge of the bed and dragged a hand through his soft black cloud of hair. "It's just not a good idea. I get attached to people way too fucking easily, it's a terminal issue in every sense of the word, and I don't want it to get anyone killed." His eyes slid over to Dave, his gaze touching Dave before he jerked away, like it was too much. "So I just think it's a bad idea, though I appreciate the offer."
"Well. This sure is awkward." He propped himself up on his arm, absorbing all that. He'd known Karkat had survived playing strip poker with two part-time prostitutes without getting any, and he was a romantic, but having it said aloud like that.
He got attached.
Dave could practically feel Rose tapping him on the shoulder.
"Yeah," Karkat was saying. "I do usually make shit painfully fucking awkward, like the conversational equivalent of stepping on a fucking nail. This is why I travel alone. That and it's my fucking job, I guess."
The possibilities were spinning in Dave's head like a safe lock, the tumblers lining up. "Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy though, right? You're a ranger."
"I… yeah." Karkat rubbed his jaw, against the stubble. His thumb traced over his lip for just a moment.
"So… Can I still crash here? This town's the size of a bottle cap and I don't want to hunt for another spare bed." He sat up and caught a lock of that curly hair, giving it a gentle tug. "You can even put your rifle between us, you know. All symbolic and shit."
A hoarse laugh escaped Karkat. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. I'll just." He settled back down on the bed, firmly on his side, turned in towards Dave. "If you're doing this because I helped you, you don't have to. It's my job. And for some fucking stupid reason, I want to help."
Dave lay himself back down. "You want me to keep owin' you a favor, California?"
He could tell that sunk into him like a hook in the sternum. Karkat's lips parted as his eyes flicked around Dave's face.
So he was a good man. Dave hadn't dealt with many of them before, but improvisation was an important part of his life. And Dave was real good at it.
He tipped forward on one arm, watching the way Karkat's pupils blew out wide. "Goodnight, Karkat," Dave murmured, and pressed his lips against the corner of Karkat's mouth.
Unlike Karkat, Dave wasn't a good man.
It was perfectly measured, long enough to linger, not so long that Karkat would think to pull away. When he drew back, Dave kept the movement going and rolled over, facing the faded paint of the wall, tucking the pillow under his head.
A moment later, he heard Karkat say very softly, "Goodnight." Only then did he shut his eyes and let himself sleep.
In the morning, Karkat followed the twins as they checked out of their room. Their nicer clothes, what Karkat assumed was their entertaining outfits, were packed away, and they were each dressed for travel. Rose had a hat to shield her eyes. Dave was wearing his sunglasses.
Stepping out into the sun, Karkat looked down at them. "Well, this was an experience." He was clean and well-rested, so his voice softened. "Thanks."
"No, California, thank you," Dave said, his hands in his pockets. "'preciate you getting Rose out of a jam."
"It is, unfortunately, what I do, even when I'm supposed to be on fucking leave."
"Back to McCarran?"
Karkat nodded. "Then wherever they want to send me, yeah. But it was nice to meet you both."
Rose touched her hand to the brim of her hat and gave him a gentle smile. "Don't worry. We'll meet again."
His eyebrows lifted. "Uh, yeah?"
With a shake of his head, Dave said, "Sorry, left that out. Rose is a forecaster. Sees things."
"Feels them," Rose corrected. "And I am quite sure we will cross paths again, Ranger Vantas."
It was hard to gauge how serious she was. It was in fact hard to tell how serious either of them were being any given moment. But Rose gave him a sly wink and bent into a swift, tidy bow before walking off. "Come along, brother."
"Right behind you," Dave said, and gave Karkat one wave before falling into step with her.
Karkat watched them go for a while, until they turned down a street and vanished from his line of sight. He was fairly certain they were just messing with him.
But there weren't enough familiar faces in Karkat's life. Maybe… maybe it would be nice.