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Jaune’s body felt like lead.

His muscles burned and screamed for relief. His temples throbbed from the pumping of blood through his head. The sword in his hand and shield on his forearm hung like cement blocks that only dragged him down even more.

All he could see was the floor of the Atlasean combat training arena. Sweat burned his eyes and blurred his vision, and the pain of so many failed blocks and hits still felt so fresh…but nothing stung more the hesitant stare of his sparring partner.

Ren would never come out and say it, not when his eyes said everything. They’d been sparring together for months, and in all that time, Ren never looked at him like this…and it only made Jaune grit his teeth and clench the handle of his sword.

“…Again…” Jaune muttered quietly, and raised his blade in front of him. There was a flash of something he didn’t recognize behind the soft pink of his eyes, but it vanished as Ren dropped into his fighting stance. He gave him a nod as he raised his guns, and once more, Jaune forced himself forward.

They’d been sparring for months, for fucking months…and he still wasn’t good enough.

His swings were getting sloppier.

His stance was messy and loose.

His form still needed so much work.

All Jaune could see were his own flaws, and every time they practiced like this, it was all he could focus on. Each hit was getting harder, and every time he readied another swing that Ren effortlessly parried, his sword felt heavier and heavier.

He put all his effort into another swing as he roared and brought the blade down towards Ren, but the strain on his legs became too much. His step forward became a step out of place, his sword clattered from his hands as his grip slipped, and he felt himself falling to his knees. All at once, his own weakness overtook him, and he just let himself fall.

Finally failing almost made him feel lighter: he could stop pretending he was ready for t-

“Be careful.”

Jaune blinked himself out of his thoughts. Something was holding him up, and when he looked up, he saw soft pink eyes looking back at him. Ren was staring into his eyes with an arm on his chest and another over his shoulders to hold him up. He helped him back to his feet, picked his sword up off the ground, and held it out to him, but the unfamiliar look in his eyes remained.

The entire time, Ren never said a word. He simply stared, almost as if waiting to see what he would do next, even when Jaune snatched it out of his hand.

He just wanted to stop. To fall again, and let himself go against the mat…but Jaune lifted the full weight of his sword.

His breath was rough, but he forced the word out all the same, “…Aga-”

“No.”

Ren’s hand was on his chest again, but it was his quiet voice that made Jaune stop. For a moment, he simply froze…but his anger came roaring back.

He couldn’t stop, not when he was still not ready.

Not when he needed to be stronger.

Not when he was still so unprepared.

His grip on his sword turned his knuckles white, “…Agai-”

“Find someone else.”

Jaune’s mouth fell open. He watched, in surprise, as Ren simply sheathed his pistols, turned around, and briskly walked out of the arena, leaving him completely alone in the silence of the spacious empty room.

At his side, Jaune’s grip on his sword grew so tight it began to tremble.

---/---

He wanted the shower to help, but it never did.

It was supposed to be relaxing. He had the whole locker room to himself, for gods sakes, but even as the heat of the water rolled down his tired, aching body, Jaune couldn’t remember feeling this heavy.

He tried to let the warmth of the shower wash away everything that had clouded his mind these last few months, just like he did every time he stood beneath the water with his palms flat against the wall, and his head hung low…but it didn’t work.

It never worked.

It hadn’t worked since they day he set foot in Atlas.

If he was honest with himself, it hadn’t worked since he enrolled in Beacon.

He tried to stay focused. He tried everyday to stay focused. Some days he could. Others he couldn’t.

He thought becoming licensed would help…but ever since he saw the words ‘OFFICIAL HUNTSMAN’ printed next to his name, he felt heavy. He felt the weight of those words everyday, and it only dragged him down when he needed to stay focused, especially with such a packed schedule.

His days started at dawn, and Clover’s daily reports let him know where he was headed.

Out in the tundra? 5:00 AM

Traffic duty? 10:00 AM

Daily sparring? 1:00 PM

After that, he trained in the combat arena with the others every day, before he slipped away to train with Pyrrha’s video on his own. Finally, long after the sun had set, bedtime…provided he got his reports for Clover done.

This had been his routine since he became a full-time huntsman, and he hadn’t missed a day. He couldn’t miss a day: this is what he needed to do as a huntsman, no matter what.

That included going over the book on combat tactics Clover had assigned him.

And writing up his report on his recon mission in the tundra.

And getting his armor fixed.

He tried not to let it all hit him at once, but Jaune sighed and rubbed between his eyes: it didn’t matter how much he still had left.

He was a team leader, a warrior, a huntsman. He couldn’t let himself stop now.

He couldn’t let himself fall. Not. Again.

Once he shut off the shower, pulled on a pair of boxers and some sleep sweats, and left the bathroom, Jaune dragged himself down the hall and opened his team’s door. The room he shared with the rest of team ORNJ seemed to be empty, and as he tossed his towel on the bed, he glanced at his desk. The book on tactics from Clover sat unopened where he left it this morning. Beside that was his armor he left before he took his shower, and the crack in the middle of the chest-plate was still waiting for him.

His shoulders drooped as he shut his eyes and rubbed his neck. There was still so much that needed to get done before he could just climb into bed. How could he hardly focus on where to start when everything seemed so-

“…Is something troubling you, Jaune?”

His teammate’s quiet voice made him jump, and he whipped around to see Ren sitting cross-legged on his bed with his eyes closed, dressed in an Atlas Academy t-shirt and sweats, and still slightly wet from his own shower he’d taken in their room. For a moment, Jaune could hardly think of anything to say, considering how Ren blew right past him without saying a word in the arena, so he just laughed awkwardly.

“O-Oh, sorry. I, uh…didn’t see you when I came in.” Jaune rubbed his neck in what he hoped was a nonchalant way, but Ren didn’t give him anything more than a curt nod without opening his eyes.

“Do you, uh…” Jaune glanced around the room awkwardly, “…want me to leave…so you can finish your medit-”

“You never answered me.”

Jaune froze. “U-Um…what?”

With a quiet sigh, Ren opened his eyes and stared directly at him, “Is there something troubling you?” he asked again, just as calmly as the first time.

“Um…” Jaune eyed the book and his armor on the desk, “No…”

Ren said nothing. He followed his gaze to the desk for just a moment, but he still stayed quiet. He didn’t need to: Jaune could see in his eyes that Ren wasn’t fooled. It was a skill he had to learn when talking to Ren, since his teammate wasn’t big on words.

“Look, I…” Jaune started, before he hung his head with a long sigh, “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Is that true?”

He said so little, but Ren’s response still made him stop. Of course it wasn’t true: he’d felt rundown all week, maybe even longer than that. Being a huntsman was rewarding, even if it was also extremely tiring…but he couldn’t let it affect him. He needed to be stronger. For everyone.

“Yeah, o-of course!” Jaune forced a laugh and tried to stand up straighter, “I-I mean, why wouldn’t I be? We’re fully licensed now, we’re making a difference in Atlas, a-and I’m really coming along with my shield work, and directing traffic’s actually really fulf-”

“Jaune.”

Ren’s voice was quiet as he stood up. One word was all it took to make Jaune stop as Ren crossed the room, and soundlessly put a hand on his bare shoulder as he looked into his eyes.

“It’s…okay if you’re not.”

Jaune opened his mouth, but stopped. Despite however he’d been acting in the arena, all he could see now was his teammate who’d been by his side for years. They’d spent too much time together, and it was impossible to lie to him. He couldn’t keep this up around him even if he tried: Ren always seemed to know when something was wrong. As he sat on the bed, his shoulders dropped with a long sigh as Ren took a seat beside him. It took him a long time to find the words, but Ren patiently waited until he was ready to talk.

“We’ve…finally got our licenses…so…we should be happy, right?”

Beside him, Ren nodded, but said nothing else.

“I…I guess I am happy for that…on one hand…but…” Jaune sighed: he struggled with this for weeks, perhaps even months, but somehow, putting it into words was harder than we thought. He had to stop again to sort out his thoughts, but Ren still waited without saying a word until he could continue.

“It’s…been…” he stopped, until he could force next word out, “…harder…than I thought it would be…but…we’re licensed now. This is it, y’know? This is what we’re supposed to do, but…”

He stopped again. His hands clenched into fists as he sighed again, but Ren’s calm smile and gentle hand on his shoulder made him finally finish.

“…I…don’t know if I’m ready.”

There was a long silence once his truth came out. It sounded so odd out loud like that, but…that was it. He shouldn’t be struggling this much. He shouldn’t, no, couldn’t be this tired all the time, now that he was a huntsman. Struggling to keep going this much shouldn’t be so hard, but…he was tired for what seemed like days now. He’d wake up tired, and every day just felt like going through the motions he wasn’t prepared for, but he kept going all the same, even as part of him wondered how much longer he could keep going.

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

“Jaune…”

His name spoken so calmly made him look up. Ren was staring at the floor as he shut his eyes and finally spoke.

“Do you feel any different…now that you’re a huntsman?”

“Well…” Jaune laughed a little awkward laugh, “Aside from being a little worn out…pretty much all the time…no.”

Beside him, Ren nodded, “Then…does being a huntsman truly change things that much?”

Jaune paused. “No, I…I guess it doesn’t.”

“I don’t believe it does…” Ren smiled a small smile beside him and put his hand on his shoulder, “So…try not to push yourself so much.”

“But…what if I’m not ready when someone needs me? When you guys need me?”

“Jaune…”

Jaune opened his mouth, but stopped. All of his worries, his constant fears of not being there for his friends that kept him up at night, his frustrations at himself for simply not being better…stopped when Ren rested his hand over top of his own.

“I…don’t feel like I’m the best at being honest…but I know I can be honest with you…and I know you will listen when I tell you that you are a great leader, Jaune.”

Something in Jaune’s chest loosened as he stared into the soft pink of Ren’s eyes, “I know you will always be there for me and for all of us when we need you…”

A soft blush colored his cheeks as Ren put a hand on his cheek to hold his gaze to his as his voice turned serious, “…but I also know that you cannot keep pushing yourself like this, or else you will be of no use to anyone.”

Jaune opened his mouth with a soundless gasp. The harshness of his teammate’s words and the smoldering of pink behind his messy black hair struck something inside of him, and all the weight he’d been carrying seemed heavier than ever.

“But…” he said quietly as he put his hand over Ren’s on his cheek, “…I don’t know…how to stop, Ren. I just…want to be so much better, for all of us, for you, and Nora, and Oscar, and Pyr-”

He had to stop. He couldn’t bear to imagine what she would think of him now, struggling so much and feeling so weak doing what she never could. Hot, bitter emotion rose in his throat: what was he doing? Why couldn’t he just be good enough to just get through this and-

“She would be…so proud, Jaune.”

It was the lowest he ever heard Ren speak. He could see the same emotion, the bittersweet regret and the joy of being her friend in his eyes as he smiled, “I know she would be proud of you…and all of us…so please…” Ren whispered, “…let yourself be proud too…”

He could hear the calm in his voice, despite the melancholic truth of his words. Ren was right: he was always right, and it made Jaune cringe to admit he had truly forgotten such a simple fact. He’d forgotten how proud she was, how proud they all were when they saw his training pay off. His friends were so incredible, and it made him sick that in his blind pursuit, he’d forgotten how much they’d all put in to get to this point.

“Then….maybe…we could, um…both…be proud…” Jaune whispered as he smiled, “…so for both our sakes…how about we try to just…I don’t know…relax a bit, I guess?”

Ren laughed quietly and sighed, “I agree, but I…fear we may be equally stuck on that part.”

“Heh, yeah,” Jaune laughed as he blushed, “You got me there…”

“Then…” Ren turned even redder than before, “May I…try something?”

“Of course…” Jaune smiled warmly, “What did you…”

He trailed off as Ren drew closer to him on the bed. He could feel his heart skip as Ren glanced at him nervously before slowly leaning in. From this close, he could hear how quick his normally calm breathing had become, but when he was only a breath away from his lips, he stopped.

“W-Would you…um…f-find this…relaxing?” he asked with a tremor in his voice Jaune had never heard before. Ren was so nervous, so out of his comfort zone to be so close and to ask something like this of him, but his apprehension seemed to loosen when Jaune took his hand in his and beamed at him.

“Of course I would…” he laughed quietly, before gently placing his hand on Ren’s blushing, bright red cheek and drawing him into a kiss. His lips were so soft, and the slight tremor in his hand went away as Jaune held him tight. Even now, Ren was so nervous to be this close to him, to be vulnerable around him after he himself had helped him more than he would ever know.

He was so quiet, so closed in that it was hard to discern how he truly felt…but here, in his arms with his lips pressed to his so softly, Jaune felt all of it. Through his kiss, he could feel Ren’s apprehension to be this close, to let himself simply let go and give in to this moment, to forget everything they’d been through the past few months and just enjoy this time with one another. The look of quiet hunger in his hot pink eyes, the way Ren’s lips softly trembled as they kissed…they were fueled by a warmth that Jaune wanted more of.

When Ren finally timidly pulled away, he almost seemed to shrink, like he was afraid he’d pushed himself to far or misread his intentions. His cheeks were still beet red, and his eyes kept glancing back to Jaune’s lips before darting back to the floor.

“What about you?” Jaune asked quietly as he placed a hand on Ren’s thigh, “Would you, um…a-also find this relaxing?” he laughed nervously, but his heart surged with warmth as Ren smiled a small, embarrassed smile.

“I…don’t know if relaxing is the right word, b-but…I’d enjoy it all the s-same…”

He laughed again as Ren drew close again, this time a little more boldly. His fingertips brushed against his cheek before his lips met his once again, this time more slowly and deliberately, as neither of them wanted to rush this time both of them craved.

Ren’s touch was slow at first, cautious even, as he splayed his fingers across Jaune’s chest and explored the broad muscle he had spent years honing. His fingertips were soft enough to make Jaune shiver as he trailed long, tender caresses against his chest and the gentle grooves of his abdomen. It was enough to stir a hunger of his own, and they broke off only long enough for Jaune to yank Ren’s shirt over his head. The moment the shirt he pulled free landed in a pile on the floor, Jaune laughed as Ren pulled him back into another kiss with a need that matched his own.

Everywhere he touched, Ren shivered. From a simple hand on his stomach to a playful squeeze of his ass, Ren delighted in every little touch he blessed him with. Wherever his hands went, he was met with toned, lean muscle, a whimper of surprised pleasure, and a soft moan for more. Each time they broke off for a moment of reprieve, Ren’s breath was shaky and quick, and his nerves seemed to fade each time they returned to each other’s kiss.

When Ren finally pulled away long enough to actually catch his breath, he glanced at the bed with a small smile. He was still so reserved with his words, but his small, excited smile told Jaune everything he needed to know.

“You wanna keep going?” Jaune asked carefully with his hand in his own, and Ren turned even redder as he nodded slowly. With an anxious smile, he leaned into another kiss, but Ren stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“What is it?” he whispered, and Ren seemed to blush even harder. As carefully as he could, Ren slowly climbed into his lap and set his hands behind Jaune’s neck. He looked so anxious to do this, but his eager eyes kept flicking to his before darting away as he sat awkwardly in his lap, as if waiting for him to ask what he was doing.

“You…wanna keep going like this?” Jaune asked with a smile, and his teammate smiled a sheepish smile as he nodded. If this was how Ren could comfortably communicate what he wanted, he could be there for him the way he had been for him so many times before. When he couldn’t talk to anyone else, he could always talk to Ren, and know he would listen.

When there was no one else…he always had Ren.

With a warm smile and a comforting hand on his cheek, Jaune kissed him again, and Ren seemed to tremble less in his lap. His hands returned to his bare chest, and it wasn’t long until Jaune found himself flat on his back, with Ren’s bare chest pressed against his. When he wrapped his teammate in his arms and explored every inch of his lean, muscular back, he felt Ren shiver against his lips for only a moment before he came back with a hunger that bordered on reckless.

Ren was always so deliberate with his words, so careful and thoughtful, but here, wrapped in his arms, he was unsure in the best possible way. His tongue cautiously met his, until Jaune urged him for more. His hand was so careful as it reached between his legs, until Jaune groaned into his mouth as Ren softly stroked him over his pants.

Every gentle caress left him worked up even more, and he could feel Ren’s hardness pressing against his leg. They were both in need of so much more, but neither one of them wanted to be away from the bliss they found in each other’s arms long enough to stop. When a quick pause for breath took longer than they both thought, they were afforded a moment to sit up and slip out of the rest of their clothes. Jaune’s leg got stuck on the end of his grey sleep sweats, and he had to hop up on one leg to finally free himself, which only made Ren stifle a laugh as he climbed back into bed in only grey boxers.

When Jaune returned to his arms, now wearing a small pair of black boxers and a smile, Ren stopped him again with another hand on his chest, “What is it?” Jaune asked again, unable to keep the excitement out of his whisper, but Ren was as still as a stone. He could feel his hand trembling against his chest so softly, and Jaune had to smile at his teammate’s bashfulness.

“What do you want, Ren?” he asked so carefully with a warm smile, and he was delighted to see a tiny, quiet smile cross Ren’s face.

“C-Could…could I…” he had to stop to steady his voice, but his cheeks were still beet-red, “…take care of you?”

Jaune’s eyes widened as he laughed, “W-Well, yeah…I mean, um…i-if that’s what you want…”

“You wouldn’t…think it’s strange?”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Jaune shook his head and took his hand, “I just…wanna make sure y-you’re, uh…y’know…comfortable with it.”

Ren smiled again and squeezed his hand before leaning in close. With his hands splayed across his chest, Ren leaned him back until he was flat on the bed once again. He carefully slung a thigh across his waist, and leaned in for another kiss that both calmed and excited him more than anything else. It seemed like Ren was content to stay there, laid across his broad chest as he drank in his kiss with his fingers nestled in his short blonde hair…until Jaune gave him a playful squeeze of his ass that elicited a soft moan and brought his focus back.

“S-Sorry…” Ren whispered with an embarrassed smile that made Jaune laugh quietly. When he returned, Ren’s kisses were quicker this time as he worked his way down, but the longing for more was strong in each one. Down his neck and along his collarbone, Ren descended with kisses laid along his body, and each one left Jaune on edge for more. When he slipped low enough to slide down his waist, Jaune gasped softly as Ren carefully hooked his thumbs into his boxers and pulled them off.

Jaune’srigid cock, already slick with pre-cum, sprang loose as Ren drew his trail of soft, exploratory kisses down his hips. He stopped just above the small shock of blonde hair above his cock, and Jaune sucked in a wince as Ren drew close enough to tickle the underside of his hardness with his breath. He grit his teeth with a smile as Ren wrapped his hand around his cock and tentatively tugged.

Each stroke was bliss, and the softness of Ren’s hand sliding up and down his full length with cautious strokes that grew bolder and bolder stole his breath.

Each moan made Ren stroke him faster and longer, until he finally leaned close the slickened head of his cock. He hesitated for a moment, before the tip of his tongue tentatively flicked the underside of Jaune’s cock. Jaune’s head shot back with a gasp of anticipation as the small, shy touch left his gasping for more…which Ren delighted in giving to him.

With a small, excited smile, Ren took the tip of his cock into his mouth. Jaune thought his body would catch fire the moment he took him between his lips: all Ren’s nervous excitement meant he was slow at first, savoring every inch he could take as he bobbed on the end of his length. His shyness was renderedinto careful flicks of his tongue and soft moans as he gently sucked Jaune’s cock. When he needed a breath, he’d release him with a damp pop for a moment before taking him in again. He loved hearing Ren’s soft, quiet grunts as he pushed himself to take more of his cock, and the way his smoldering pink eyes turned up to him as he ran his fingers through his pitch-black hair to slowly guide him deeper.

Just as Jaune closed his eyes to lose himself in the sensation of Ren’s mouth…he felt Ren’s other hand slip even lower. Ren stopped halfway down his cock, and looked up to him beneath his messy bangs and waited for a nod. He gave it to him, and lifted his hips so it was easier for Ren to reach what he was after. Before he went any further, Ren paused for a moment only to reach over to the nightstand beside the bed, retrieve a small bottle of thick, clear liquid, and pour some onto his free hand.

One finger was all he used at first, but Jaune still clenched his jaw with a gritted moan as Ren pressed firmly against his asshole. His legs began to tremble as Ren massaged him from below, just to understand his comfort before he carefully pressed a slick finger into him. His whole body went tense from the sudden, pleasant pressure, and Jaune couldn’t stop his moans from becoming more erratic. Every bob of his head and flick of his rough, wet tongue against his cock sent a fierce shiver of relief through him, and they burned even more deliciously now that Ren was tending to him both above and below.

Jaune’s trembling moans were punctuated by a long, blissful groan as Ren worked in another finger. Two fingers spreading him tight and working him from within left him even closer to the edge than before, with shaky breaths and a white-knuckled grip on the sheets.

“R-Ren…I…” Jaune managed to get out amidst sharp, quiet moans and grunts of pleasure. Halfway down his cock, Ren stopped and glanced up at him, but all Jaune could do was nod to let him know he was close. He almost seemed to hesitate for a moment before his eyes narrowed, and the graceful, rhythmic bobbing of his head sped up.

With his free hand resting on Jaune’s thigh, Ren took him faster and deeper. His lips tightened around his spit-covered cock as he pushed himself to take Jaune’s entire length into his mouth. It took him a few tries, but each time Ren came back with an grunt of exertion and sunk down even farther, Jaune couldn’t stop his own startled, laughing moans from filling the room.

He was so close now. His body was flush with a delicious heat and trembling on the edge, but Ren didn’t slow. Amidst his own shortening gasps of utter bliss, Jaune reached down to take Ren in his hand. Ren stopped for a moment at this, but it was only to guide him to the pace he loved, the rhythm of his mouth on his throbbing cock he craved. An ache stoked by Ren’s mouth, and his finger’s caress within his asshole, began to spread and warm every muscle in his body. Tension Jaune didn’t know he’d been carrying for so long seemed to melt away as the warmth overtook him and curled his toes into the sheets.

“R-R…R-Ren!” he cried out as his grip on Ren’s hair tightened. The ache at the base of his cock was building uncontrollably, and his end was inevitable. He released Ren to let him pull back, but to his surprise (and delight), Ren stopped with half his glistening, aching cock still in his mouth and jerked him off at the base. Pleasure engulfed him, and Jaune involuntary tightened around Ren’s fingers as heat burst from his cock. Wave after wave was met with a soft moan from Ren as he pulsed between his lips and down his throat. Jaune shuddered through every breath, moan, and sigh in the bliss Ren had guided him to, but his hand never left Ren’s hair, even as Ren softly tugged him and touched him until he could give him no more.

He grunted softly one last time as Ren released him with damp pop, removed his fingers, and climbed back on the bed. He sat beside Jaune on his knees, watching his soft panting without saying a word.

“G-Gods, Ren…” Jaune laughed quietly as he caught his breath, and seeing Ren blush with a small, prideful smirk made him smile.

“I t-t-trust…y-you’re r-r-relaxed now?” he stammered through a whisper, and Jaune laughed again.

“I mean…” Jaune rubbed his neck semi-awkwardly and blushed, “…Y-Yeah, thanks to you…”

“O-Oh…” Ren whispered quietly as he whipped his gaze to the bed in front of him, “G-Good…”

For a long time after that, Ren didn’t say a word, leaving Jaune with his own soft, ragged breaths as the only sound in the quiet dark room. While he’d rather not push Ren to say something…he’d been quiet for a long time now, and when Jaune finally sat up on his elbows, he looked over and saw why.

This was supposed to be a time for both of them to help the other relax…but Ren was looking more tense than ever. His shoulders were hunched and tight and his hands had balled into fists against his thighs. Beneath pitch black bangs, his eyes kept nervously darting over to see if he was staring. When he caught him, Ren almost seemed to shrink beside him and blush even harder.

For a moment, he thought something was wrong…until he noticed Ren’s small, embarrassed smile and the rock hard tent in his boxers with a wet spot at the tip.

“Want me to, uh…help you r-relax, too?” Jaune asked with a small, nervous smile. He wasn’t sure what he would do, let alone what Ren would even ask him to do, but he wanted to do whatever he could to make Ren feel as good as he made him feel. His question only seemed to make Ren blush harder, but Jaune just laughed quietly.

He took Ren’s hand as he sat up beside him, and smiled as Ren stared at his hand over top his own before returning to his eyes, “It’s okay, Ren…” he whispered as he squeezed his hand, “…You’ve, uh…already helped me relax, so…I c-can, um…do the same for you…i-if you want…”

He could feel Ren’s hand tense beneath his palm, but he slowly turned over his hand and squeezed him so tight as he whispered what he wanted in his ear. The heat of whisper tickled his ear, but it was his request that left Jaune blushing and his heart racing.

“I…I t-think I can work with that…” Jaune nodded and squeezed his hand gently. He nodded at Ren, and Ren gave him a small nod back. His whole body was so tense, and it was only when Jaune leaned in and kissed him again did he finally move into position.

With trembling, nervous, excited hands, Ren slipped off his boxers. It was hard to ignore how hard Ren had become while sucking his cock, but when Ren caught him staring, Jaune blushed and laughed awkwardly.

“S-Sorry…” he stammered with a small smirk, but to his surprise, Ren actually laughed quietly as he rolled over and bent over before him. The tension that had gripped him only moments ago seemed to wane with his laugh…but it came roaring back all over again as Jaune put his hands on his lower back. He winced away from him with a small gasp, but when Jaune tried again, he only shook slightly.

“It’s okay…” Jaune whispered as he trailed his hands down the toned muscle of Ren’s back. He could hardly keep his own hands from shaking as he reached Ren’s bare ass. Firm, curved muscle filled his hands as Jaune knelt down behind him.

Ren was trembling now that he was close enough to tickle him with his quick, excited breath, but it seemed to slow when Jaune would rest his hand on his back. He wanted Ren to feel comfortable with this, so he started slow.

His lips met the soft curve of his ass with a kiss he hoped would loosen the nervousness that had gripped his teammate. He worked his way to the center with a hand on each cheek, until he spread Ren apart to place one last kiss. Ren winced in delighted surprise at such a small touch somewhere so sensitive, but when Jaune treated him to a cautious press of his tongue, Ren gasped through gritted teeth.

“You o-okay?” Jaune asked with concern, and didn’t continue until Ren bobbed his head with quick, shaky nods. With his confirmation, Jaune spread him once again, and teased his ass with small, firm circles until Ren was groaning into the sheets.

What was once a tense tremor became a fierce shiver of want as Jaune’s mouth drove moan after soft, gasping, muffled moan from his lips. Each time he hit just right with a tentative lick or press, Ren’s cock twitched between his thighs as he gasped from the sheets. Hearing every little moan and wince of relief and feeling every blissful shiver want made Jaune’s heart surge in his chest.

It filled him with a small, secret pride that he could do this much for his teammate…but he wanted to give him so much more.

When he was sure Ren had lost himself in the rhythm of his tongue, Jaune slipped the bottle of lube off the bed. Without breaking the stride of his mouth, he coated one hand and let his now-slick fingers trail up the inside of Ren’s thigh. His whole body hitched with a gasp as Jaune’s hand went higher and higher up his thigh, until he grasped Ren’s throbbing, twitching cock and began to tug.

He thought Ren’s knees would give out beneath his combined effort. Even his head buried in the mattress couldn’t mask how blissful his moans had become, and each one Ren gave him only made Jaune hungrier for sounds of his pleasure. With every flick and tug, Jaune learned what made Ren shiver, what he loved and what drove more shuddering moans from his lips. The rhythm of his hand stroking Ren’s cock and the teasing of his tongue at the tight hole above began to synchronize, until Ren was becoming a trembling mess in the best possible sense.

The temptation to treat him to a climax his body was screaming for was so strong…but Jaune still forced himself up after spreading him to give him one last kiss. It took Ren a moment to sit up, given how much his knees and arms were trembling, but when he finally sat up, Jaune couldn’t help but grin. His teammate, normally so calm and composed, was now grinning bashfully and breathing hard, shuddering breaths through beet red cheeks. His eyes flicked between the soft pink of Ren’s eyes now lulled over with lust and the twitching head of his slick, throbbing cock.

“Y-You…you s-s-still wish…t-t-to continue?” Ren stammered, but his politeness was underscored by pure want.

“Of course I do, Ren…” Jaune laughed an excited laugh and took his hand, “…Do you?”

After Ren bobbed his head in quick little nods, he returned the nod, “So…how…do you wanna do this?” Jaune asked, unable to keep his own breathing calm. Beside him, Ren smiled after retrieving a condom, reached out, and guided him by the shoulders as gently as his hunger would allow him. When Jaune’s back was to the bed, Ren reached between his Jaune’s thighs to help rouse him once again, but Jaune hardly needed more than a few strokes to coax his cock back up. Once he was hard, Ren smiled and blushed as he slipped the condom onto Jaune’s cock and coated it with lube until it was glistening in the moonlight.

“I-Is…this acceptable?” Ren asked with a quiet, hungry whisper.

“Y-Yeah, I m-mean…s-s-sure…o-of course…” Jaune blushed through his stammering, excited whispering. He felt a little embarrassed to be rambling like this…but he couldn’t help but grin as Ren’s nerves broke with a quiet laugh.

All Jaune’s breath left him as Ren split his thighs across his waist. With short breath and as steady a hand he could have given the state he’d left him in, Ren took hold of Jaune’s cock and aligned himself over it. Despite the excitement in his small, bashful smile, his breathing was so quick and shaky.

“It’s o-okay…” Jaune whispered with a smile as he took his hand, and gave it a comforting squeeze. His reassurance took off enough of Ren’s nerves for him to take a few deep breaths before he began to sit back. Jaune sucked in a sharp gasp as the tip of his cock pressed against Ren’s ass, but it was nothing compared to how shaky Ren’s breath had become. With one hand steadying Jaune’s length, Ren slowly sank himself down onto his hardness.

Their moans intertwined as two became one. With every inch Ren took in, he shivered atop Jaune’s waist with soft, hungry moans. His hands, splayed flat against the firm, broad muscle of Jaune’s chest, curled and scratched soft red lines down his pectorals as the exertion lightly dug his nails into his skin. It was a gentle pain, one Jaune would’ve felt had his mind not gone soft to the indescribable pressure wrapped around his twitching cock.

When Ren could go no further, he stopped. His breath was ragged, but his eyes were burning with want. Through gritted teeth, Ren moaned as he tentatively rose up his cock, and sank back down. His pace was slow and hesitant at first, until Jaune set his hands on Ren’s hips to help guide him. Once more, Ren rocked in his lap, but with Jaune’s touch to steady him, he shivered through a sigh as he found a comfortable pace.

With every thrust, Ren’s cock twitched with desperation. The head of his length was already slick with pre-cum as it bounced in time with his thrusts, and Jaune could hardly resist such a tantalizing sight. He kept one hand on Ren’s hip, but the other took hold of his glistening hardness, and Jaune grinned as he stroked Ren from base to tip as he rode in his lap.

Each tug stole more of Ren’s breath, until all he could give him were shuddering, grinning gasps. Spurred on by Jaune’s hand wrapped tight around his quivering cock, Ren pushed himself to speed up. The slow rhythm of his hips bouncing in his lap sped up as his basest need began to overwhelm any semblance of embarrassment that once gripped him. He pressed against Jaune’s broad chest and grinded himself even more hungrily against Jaune’s aching cock so deep within him.

Ren’s mouth opened with words that never came, as his attempts at speech were warmed into a groaning sigh as his head lulled back. Seeing Ren, his friend, teammate, and shoulder when no else could, lost in a bliss he had worked so hard to stoke in him filled Jaune with a warmth he couldn’t hope to contain. It overwhelmed him, left him numb to all of Ren’s little sighs and moans, and burned him every time he felt Ren twitch and tighten around his cock.

All of Ren was becoming too much for him. His hands firmly splayed across his chest, the small look of utter bliss he caught in the soft pink fire of his eyes, the greedy rhythm of his thrusting hips: all of it was pushing Jaune closer and closer to another brink…but given how slick with pre-cum his hand had become, Ren wasn’t far behind.

They both moved with a burning need, his to last long enough to make sure Ren could fully enjoy himself, and Ren’s to reach an end of his own so his teammate could reach his. The bed creaked in time with the two of them, but it was slowly being overwhelmed. Their moans, warmed into rising, shortening gasps, became as intertwined as their bodies as each worked to take the other to the end.

Heat flushed through his whole body, but Jaune grit his teeth through groan and gasp alike: Ren had driven him so close, but with everything he had, he held himself back. Every time Ren’s ass smacked against his thighs or his quiet moans of utter relief grew louder, what little control Jaune still had over himself was threatened, but he would not yield.

Not yet, not when he could do this one thing for a friend and teammate who had already done so much for him.

The edge of his vision whitened as he teetered on the brink…but then he heard Ren. With a strained, groaning cry of release, Ren’s back arched as his head fell back and his cock began to throb in Jaune’s grip. Heat splashed up Jaune’s chest, and each pulsing wave elicited another groan from a shivering, sheepishly-grinning Ren. His whole body trembled in his lap, and beneath the erratic tightening of his ass around his cock, and seeing Ren overwhelmed with bliss, Jaune felt himself give in.

He lost count of how many times they came between the two of them. Groans fell into gasps that fell into more shuddering, wincing moans as they lost themselves intertwined with the other. They cried out so loudly for so long, until the peak of their shared climax began to pass.

Once he fell limp against the bed, spent in the best possible way, Ren gently eased himself off his cock. With what little strength he could find amidst his afterglow, Jaune disposed of the condom and helped Ren lay down beside him. Ren was about to rest his head on his chest with a small sigh…before he realized how much he had coated Jaune’s chest.

“O-Oh…” Ren said plainly, almost as if he’d awoken from a dream, “S-Sorry…” he added with a blushing smile as Jaune laughed tiredly. After Ren sat up and slipped a cloth from the nightstand, he gingerly cleaned up Jaune’s chest, beet-red and smirking sheepishly the entire time. When he was finished, he laid back down beside him stiffly. His arms sat rigidly at his sides, unsure of what to do next as his nerves crept back in as he came down from his blissful high, but it was no matter to Jaune.

“You, uh…feeling more relaxed now?” he asked with a grin as he took Ren into his arms again, and beneath his pitch-black bangs, Ren’s cheeks turned a soft crimson.

“Y-You could say that…I suppose…” he laughed quietly, before he glanced down at the bed, “Would it…be alright if I showered?”

It only now occurred to him that he probably needed one too, but he didn’t want to make Ren uncomfortable, “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll go after you.”

He leaned back against the bed to himself rest…but Ren didn’t move, aside from the small, bashful smile that slowly crossed his face. He could feel Ren’s hand began to tremble against his chest, and only when Jaune took his hand into his once again did Ren finally get out each quiet, excited word.

“W-We…c-c-could s-save s-some t-t-time…i-i-if we…”

He couldn’t finish before his cheeks burned bright red, but Jaune’s heart skipped in his chest as he grinned and squeezed Ren’s hand.

He got the gist of it.

---/---

Jaune was roused from his restless sleep by a soft buzz.

It was muffled, almost barely audible in the completely dark room lit only by moonlight, but he felt the buzzing in the pocket of his sleep sweats.

He slipped out his scroll and unlocked it. A message blinked across his scrolls screen: ‘hiya jaune! Sooooo oscar and I got roped into some overnight project with ruby. We won’t be back til late tomorrow Seeya then!’

In his haze, he blinked his eyes and rubbed between them to lessen the sting of the bright blue screen. He’d have to let Ren know that-

Ren.

Everything about their evening together roared back into his thoughts. He looked to his side…and saw only the sheets: Ren was gone. After they shared a shower and cleaned up after their evening together, he definitely remembered drifting off with Ren still wrapped in his arms. As he sat up, the grogginess of sleep was sharpened into a mild panic, but it didn’t last long.

Ren was still here with him…but he was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from him with hands on the edge of the bed. His shoulders were hunched, and his grip was so tight on the sheets his knuckles were white. His messy black hair was still wet from their shower, and every so often, his body would hitch without a sound.

The sight of his teammate just looked…wrong. It felt so out of place, like he was stuck in an peculiar dream. His mouth opened, then closed: what would he even say? What could he even say considering how…odd this felt?

For what felt like a long time, Jaune just stared at him, until he finally forced himself to break the silence.

“…R-Ren?”

As soon as the word left his mouth, Ren’s whole body froze. If anything, the tense grip on him only seemed to tighten as Jaune sat up. The only movement left was a small tremor that had slipped into his white-knuckled grip on the sheets.

A long, eternity-like silence passed. Ren said nothing, and Jaune didn’t dare move from his propped up spot on his elbows.

“…I…” Ren finally said with a voice more quiet than he’d ever heard, but he stopped afterwards, and went silent for a long, long time.

“…I…” he finally tried again, “…I…didn’t want you to see this…”

His voice was calm, but it was wrong, like the stillness just before thunderstorm. When he finally sat up, and joined him on the side of his bed, Jaune’s mouth fell open with a soundless gasp. Ren, his teammate and friend for so many, many years looked…tired. He looked so tired, so drained of anything else but exhaustion.

The corners of his eyes were wet, and the soft pink color had dulled. His shoulders were slumped with weariness and somehow clenched tighter than he’d ever seen. His body shook with each quiet, wet breath. All of it was just…not Ren. It wasn’t the quiet, dependable ally he’d fought and cried beside for years. It was a side of him that he’d never seen before…and Jaune had no idea what to do.

He could see Ren’s body begin to tremble, more fiercely than any other time he’d seen tonight. All he could think to do was put his hand on his shoulder.

“…Ren…” he said quietly, still unsure of what else to say. He didn’t know if it was such a small touch, or if there was something in the way he said his name, but something made Ren grip the sheets even tighter.

“I…I c-can’t sleep…Jaune…”

That was all he said, but it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t be why he looked so exhausted, so unlike his friend he’d know for years, but Jaune didn’t want to push him. He wanted all this to just be a strange dream, but the fear in Ren’s voice was all too real.

“…Ren…” Jaune tried again with a soft squeeze of his shoulder, “…How long has…this…been going on?”

It took him a long time, but Ren turned away and answered him.

“I-I…” he stammered in a shameful whisper, “…I h-haven’t s-slept in months.”

Jaune’s mouth fell open with a silent gasp. He needed this to be a dream, a nightmare gone horribly wrong. How could he miss something like this? How could he be so oblivious to whatever this was that Ren was going through? Any ideas of what to say next vanished as his mind went completely blank.

“R-Ren…” he gasped quietly, but his alarm only made Ren seem to shrink even more. Even with his hand on his shoulder, he could feel Ren begin to tremble again, even more fiercely than before. He waited for Ren to say something, anything about what this was, what he could do, what he should do to help him, what h-

It hit him so suddenly it stole his breath, and Jaune forced himself to stop.

They’d all been pushing themselves so hard since they arrived in Atl-no, since Beacon fell. All of them had been under so much stress and endured so much…how could he be so fucking stupid to just assume Ren was fine after everything they’d been through?

He’d been through just as much as everyone else…but he never showed it. Not like this.

For as long they’d been teammates, Ren had always been so quiet, so reserved with his feelings and choice with his words that everyone, including himself, assumed he chose to be this way. Only now that he was confronted with this side of his teammate, this frustration and sheer fear of being so open with himself and another…Jaune realized it might not be his choice.

Maybe he wanted to share his feelings so badly it hurt him, and he didn’t want anyone else to know how much it pained him.

Maybe he couldn’t fathom the words and ways to tell someone he needed help.

Maybe he didn’t want to bother anyone with a harm he’d been carrying for gods knew how long.

Maybe he wasn’t ready or even capable of talking about whatever this was…but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be there for him the way Ren had been for him countless times before.

With a warm, comforting smile, Jaune took him into his arms and hugged him tight. He felt the tension and frustration that tightened his whole body, and he felt it all give way as Ren collapsed in his arms. He buried his head in his shoulder, but did nothing else and said nothing else as Jaune put a hand behind his head.

“I…I don’t know if I’m the best at it…” Jaune whispered to his friend, “…but…you can, uh…you can talk to me, if you…if you need someone…”

Ren still said nothing, but wet warmth began to flow against his shoulder as Ren’s body softly hitched with quiet, shaky breaths.

“…I don’t know if I’ll be the greatest listener, but…I…I’m here…a-and…” Jaune’s shoulders dropped with a tired sigh, “…I think…I needed tonight…needed you…more than I thought I did…”

Ren began to tremble again, so Jaune hugged him tighter.

“…Just…being with you…helped me kind of…put things into perspective, and helped me…um…” Jaune shrugged, “…let go a bit, I guess, i-if that makes sense… and…I want…to be able to do that for, uh…for you, too…i-if you need it, o-of course”

More wet warmth soaked his shoulder, “…so…I’m here for you…if you need me…to just…be with you…w-whenever you’re ready…”

For a long time, Ren was quiet. Hearing his teammate’s quiet, barely audible crying broke Jaune’s heart as he held him. As long as he’d know him, Ren had always struggled with opening up. Even after being together, on the road, fighting side by side, and being there for him, it was still so hard for Ren to talk like this, and whenever the time came for him to try, he struggled so hard.

How long had he been keeping this in? How long had Ren felt so…lost? He had felt like this for so long… but he still gave so much of himself to everyone around him. How could he be such a source of comfort for his own troubles, while grappling with thoughts like this all alone?

He hugged Ren even tighter. More than ever, Jaune just wanted to be there, just once, in the way Ren had been there for him.

With his arms still wrapped around him, Jaune helped him back onto the bed. As he helped him lay back down beside him, Ren was still trembling and hiding his eyes from him.

“…It’s okay…” Jaune whispered as Ren pressed his head to his chest, and more quiet, wet tears warmed his chest. His body began to shake as more tears began to well up, and his breath began to tremble…until Jaune took his hand.

It just felt like the right thing to do. He did almost out of instinct, as he recalled all the times his touch seemed to help him tonight. Once his hand found his own and squeezed, Ren went still. His breathing became less erratic, and became calmer and calmer with each breath. Slowly, his body began to relax, and his already barely-audible crying somehow became quieter and quieter.

He couldn’t understand why this touch seemed to calm him, to silence whatever he was struggling with, but if he could do this one thing for a friend who’d done so much for all of them, he would do this for him. He wrapped Ren tight against him, not once daring to let go of his hand for even a second. Ren’s grip on his hand was tight, but even when it began to loosen, he never let go.

After a long period of silence, Ren was finally still within his embrace. His quiet, wet breaths went silent, and his body began to slowly rise and fall with a sleep he didn’t know he been missing. Even still, Jaune held him, and kept his hand wrapped in his own, knowing that it was providing Ren a comfort he hadn’t known in gods know how long.

It still made him sick: how long had Ren felt like this? How many nights had he spent, all alone with his thoughts in the dark? How could he not see how much Ren needed him? How could he be so fucking ignorant when someone so close to him was hurting? What was he supposed to do n-

“I know…you will always be there for me…and for all of us…when we need you…”

Ren’s words, spoken so calmly from the start of their evening suddenly flashed through his mind. It was meant to be comforting to him, but…

Hot, wet tears burned his eyes as he clung to Ren in the dark: he trusted him. He knew this, deep down. No matter what how hard he fell, no matter how weak he felt, Ren trusted in him to be there for him…so he would trust in Ren.

Whenever Ren was ready to talk about this side of himself, he would be there for him. Even after giving so much of himself, it was still so hard for Ren to ask for help…but he would wait until he was strong enough.

He held in his sobs as to not wake Ren, but Jaune clung to his friend and teammate even tighter.

“It’s going to be okay, Ren…” Jaune whispered in the dark as his quiet tears soaked his cheeks, “…I promise…”

…End.