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Faye is pretty sure there’s something Fezco isn’t telling her.
She’s sitting on the couch, arms draped over the back. The streetlight outside filters through the curtains and douses the room in a yellow glow while Faye watches Fez wince over and over again. Lexi is dabbing some solution onto his skin-split knuckles with a cloth, her brow furrowed, and Faye thinks Lexi might be keeping something from her, too.
“I’m really sorry, Fez,” Faye whispers. Neither Fez nor Lexi turn to look at her, but she sees Fez’s face slightly soften.
“Got nothin’ to be sorry for, kid.” The determination that had tensed up his entire body half an hour earlier now shows in the clench of his jaw, and Faye can’t help but pout.
“Yeah, but it’s still my fault he knew where I was.”
“How’d he know?” Lexi asks.
Faye hesitates. “Uh, I think I might have texted him a couple nights ago, when I was, um… you know.”
No one responds.
This guy Faye knew from when she was living with Custer, Dave, had shown up at the store earlier that evening. He used to shoot up with Faye sometimes when Custer was out, and she can’t quite remember but she thinks it’s very possible they made out once. Or a few times. Or fooled around. Or fucked.
Anyway, he’d showed up at the store, sweaty and scabby, and insisted Faye come and speak with him outside. Faye had glanced at Lexi and Fez, both perched on the counter, and chose to ignore their quizzical looks as she followed Dave out of the store. Once they’d gotten far enough away from the store that no one could hear them, he explained himself.
He’d heard that Custer had ditched Faye, so Dave decided this was his chance to be with her now. Faye argued with him, insisting that she and Custer were still together (even if she didn’t know where he was) and that anything that ever happened between her and Dave had been a mistake. Dave got too close for comfort, pointing his dirty finger in her face and towering over her, and the second after he shoved her, Fez’s fist came swinging out of nowhere and landed a blow on Dave’s face.
The beatdown had been pretty brutal. Faye watched, mesmerized, as Fez’s fists punched a rhythm into Dave’s skull. Dave could hardly hold Fez off, head slamming repeatedly into the pavement, and once his arms went limp, Faye heard Lexi say, softly, “Fezco.”
The sound of her gentle voice was all it took for Fez to come back into himself. He was blinking, shaking his head, as Lexi wrapped her arms around his middle and soothed him, running a hand from the crown of his head down to the small of his back. His heaving chest slowed, and as they pulled apart, Faye saw a telltale shift in Fez’s eyes.
Eventually, the three of them dragged Dave’s unconscious body over to the side of the store and positioned him to look like he’d fallen asleep against the wall. Lexi insisted on driving the three of them home, which caught Faye’s attention - Lexi may not have slept at their house every night, but she was beginning to call the place home .
Now, Lexi is sitting with Fez at the table, wrapping gauze around his hand, and the look on his face almost knocks the wind out of Faye. He’s beyond fond, beyond admiration, and the expression he wears can mean only one thing:
Fezco is in love .
“Lex,” he says softly, “you ain’t gotta do all this, ma.”
Lexi just looks up at him with a knowing smile. “Stop trying to keep me from helping you, Fez.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and Faye watches as Fez’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down.
“Where’d you even find all this shit? I didn’t think we even had one Bandaid.”
Lexi blushes. “I may have restocked your first-aid kit last weekend.”
Fez groans. “Lexi - ”
“In my defense,” Lexi cuts him off and puts her hands up in protest, “Ashtray had just taped a napkin to his hand after he sliced it open.”
“So?” Fez chuckles.
“He used duct tape , Fezco.”
Fez leans forward and kisses Lexi’s forehead so tenderly that Faye thinks she might cry if she keeps watching them. Slowly, she gets off the couch and makes her way over to the table.
“Thank you for stopping him, Fez,” she says, holding her elbows.
Fez shrugs. “Someone puts a hand on my people, they gon’ hear about it.” He’s staring hard at Lexi as she wraps up the remaining gauze and puts it back into a plastic bag. Faye distantly wonders if anyone has ever looked at her like that before.
Lexi turns and smiles warmly at Faye. “We weren’t going to let you fend for yourself.”
It’s funny, Faye muses, how in sync Fez and Lexi are, how they both feel compelled to keep her safe. If she’d been living anywhere else, taken in by anyone else, she’s not so sure she’d have the same protection.
Lexi reaches out and grabs Faye’s hand without a word and squeezes it. Faye’s eyes well up with tears.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
***
Lexi’s boyfriend has a beard .
Suze remembers the teenaged guys who had beards when she was in high school. All of ‘em acted like they were so mature for their age, but Suze had always known that couldn’t be further from the truth.
This kid’s wearing a polo shirt and dark-wash jeans, and Suze can see the glint of a gold chain around his neck. His appearance is incongruent with the image Suze had dreamt up for her daughter’s first boyfriend, but as she studies him over the top of her wine glass, he smiles weakly at her and rubs the back of his neck. Suze smirks; that’s more like it .
When Lexi’s boyfriend, Fezco ( what kinda name was that? ), showed up at the door for dinner that evening, he had daffodils in one hand and a board game in the other. Suze had raised an eyebrow at him as Lexi ushered him in, blushing fiercely. Suze hadn’t known what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t flowers and Monopoly.
He spoke slowly as he introduced himself, as though he were planning out the shape of every word before he said it, but Suze could tell he’s an intelligent kid. Even now, as Lexi and Cassie are bringing dishes from the kitchen to the dinner table (Lexi had insisted that, as their guest, Fezco let her serve him), his eyes are alert as they politely wander around the dining room and study all the details that make up Lexi’s home. He’s not glued to his phone, or acting bored without his girlfriend in the room.
Lexi and Cassie make their final trip into the dining room and settle into their seats. Cassie and Lexi sit opposite their mother, with Fezco at the head of the table. Lexi beams at Fezco from her spot across the corner from him, and Suze thinks her daughter might be glowing .
“ So , Fezco, Lexi tells me you’re outta school,” Suze starts, serving herself some Caesar salad from the bowl Cassie had placed before her. “What is it you’re doing these days?”
“My brother and I run the East Highland Certified Dairy, over on Las Tunas Drive,” he says, accepting the salad bowl as Suze passes it to him. “My grandma ran it before she had her stroke, and we been keepin’ it open ever since.”
“They’re the only store in East Highland that sells the Mango La Croix,” Cassie pipes up cheerfully.
Oh, Cass . “Is that so?” Suze says, humoring her eldest.
“Fez and Ashtray manage all their expenses on their own, and they’re able to make a considerable profit while keeping prices down,” Lexi declares, and Suze knows her daughter must’ve practiced that line in the mirror before Fezco arrived.
But there’s something Lexi said that doesn’t quite compute. “Fez and what ?”
Instantly, Lexi’s face reddens, and she shrinks slightly in her seat. At the same time, Fezco sits up a little straighter.
“My brother, he’s called Ashtray.” His chin juts out ever so slightly, and Suze recognizes a loyal family man when she sees one. She’s pleasantly surprised to find herself warming up to this kid pretty quickly.
“Gotcha,” she says, letting the sudden tension pass.
Dinner continues in a similar fashion, with Suze asking Fezco probing questions, Lexi trying to supply the answer her mother wants to hear, and Fezco being patient enough with Lexi to let her try while eventually giving Suze the facts. Suze learns that the scar on his head came from an accident with a crowbar, that his mother died when he was very young, and that his dad was a deadbeat. Upon hearing this last bit of information, Suze’s heart swells - no wonder Lexi likes this kid so much.
After dinner, Fezco insists on doing the dishes, and Suze sits on the couch with Cassie as Lexi joins him in the kitchen. Suze can hear the pair speaking quietly with each other, no doubt checking in on how the other thinks everything is going. She’s not going to eavesdrop on her daughter, so Suze opens up the Monopoly box and starts setting up the game on the coffee table.
“Whaddaya think, Cass?” she asks, counting out the game’s colorful currency. Suze knows what she thinks of Lexi’s boyfriend, but it never hurts to get someone else’s perspective, especially when that someone else is so close to Lexi in just about every way.
“Huh?” Cassie is staring off into the middle-distance, and Suze feels a pang of pity for her older daughter.
Suze sighs and holds up two silver game pieces. “Boot or thimble?”
Suddenly, Lexi and Fezco’s voices get louder, signaling their return to the living room. Lexi is bouncing through the hall as Fezco follows right behind her, and they’re both laughing at something Suze didn’t hear. They might have just been holding hands with the way their wrists swing through the air to land by their sides as they enter the room, and in this moment, Suze’s heart fills with gratitude, with joy, with pride, as she watches Lexi watch Fezco grab a seat. Her daughter has found a boy who enjoys her company, who she can laugh with, and who she wants to take care of. As Fezco catches Lexi’s phone before it slips out of her shallow pocket and falls on the hardwood floor, Suze can tell that Fezco wants to take care of Lexi, too.
Lexi smiles brightly, lit from within, as the four of them begin the game. She insists that Fezco be the banker since he’s so proficient at managing money, which Suze decides not to protest, and as they all settle in to playing the game, Suze considers what this evening has meant to her daughter. There’s someone here, in Lexi’s home, who has the capacity to put her first . Neither Cassie nor Suze has been able to do that for Lexi in a long, long time.
This realization breaks Suze’s heart, but watching her youngest daughter laughing at something Fezco just said starts to mend it back together again. She can’t remember the last time she saw Lexi throw her head back like that. Suze can’t remember the last time she saw Lexi this happy .
***
Cassie can’t remember the last time she was as happy as Lexi is right now.
She’s playing Monopoly with Lexi, her mom, and Fezco, and as bizarre as it sounds in her head, she’s actually having a good time. Not as good a time as Lexi is having, though.
Lexi laughs every time Fez lands on one of her properties, teasing him when he hands over his Monopoly money. He’s smiling through it all, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. The whole thing is so sickly sweet that Cassie has the urge to fake-gag.
She won’t, though. After everything she and her sister have been through, Cassie doesn’t want to create any more bad blood between them. It took weeks for Cassie to be able to look Lexi in the eye after the play. If Cassie were to act out tonight, it would wound Lexi more deeply than any of Cassie’s offhand insults ever could, and that’s the last thing Cassie wants to do to her little sister.
But still . How is it possible that Lexi is living this life, the life that Cassie had always imagined would one day be her own?
Suze cries out as she lands on GO TO JAIL for the third time, and Cassie is brought out of her thoughts and back into the present.
“Did you bring loaded dice with your game, Fezco?” Suze says, squinting slightly at him. Cassie glances at Fez, whose grin is slowly fading from his face.
“Kidding!” Suze says a moment later, and Fez breathes out a sigh of relief. Cassie doesn’t miss Lexi covering his hand with hers and squeezing it lightly, and witnessing that intimate moment sends a pang of melancholy straight to Cassie’s heart.
“Your turn, Cassie,” Lexi says gently.
Cassie rolls the dice and moves her piece along the board, mind drifting off, back to her previous train of thought.
When Cassie had started dating boys, she’d been happy . She’d been so happy that she wanted to make each boyfriend feel just as happy, too. Her desire was rarely reciprocated, however, and as each boyfriend left her, all Cassie could do was wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” What happened to the happiness between her and McKay? Why wasn’t there any happiness between her and Nate? Why did she wake up every morning dreading what might go wrong during the day? Why did she go to sleep every night praying for the next day to bring her the happiness she craved?
Maybe whichever angel had been sent to deliver happiness to the Howard house got the sisters’ beds mixed up. The signs of Lexi’s newly-found happiness were very clear:
Recently, Cassie would wake up in the middle of the night to see the bluish glow of Lexi’s phone screen dimly lighting her side of the room. Her sister would stifle a giggle behind her hand or sigh softly, and Cassie would roll her eyes and be forced to cover her ears with a pillow to try and get back to sleep. In the mornings, Lexi would glance sheepishly at Cassie, who chose not to address her little sister’s late-night activities as she dressed and did her hair. On the way to school, Cassie would watch Lexi out of the corner of her eye, phone sitting open in her lap and a permanent little grin on Lexi’s face. And after school, if Cassie saw Lexi at all, it was because Lexi needed to grab something from home before she rode her bike over to Fez’s store or his house. These days, however, Fez was simply picking Lexi up from school at the end of the day.
Cassie remembers the first time she met Fez. Maddy had dragged Cassie to his store, insisting that Fez’s supply was the best she’d ever tried. Cassie didn’t know what to make of him, at first - she knew he was a grade above her in school, but hadn’t seen him around in a while. She quickly learned that he had an angry little brother with a weird name, who counted the cash she handed him like a mafia boss. Fez had been kind, though. He only looked her in the eyes, never raked his eyes down her body like other boys did, and he didn’t seem interested in smooth-talking her.
If Cassie really considers it, she supposes she might’ve hit on Fez eventually. He’s far from ugly, with crazy-long eyelashes and stunningly blue eyes, and the fact that he’s always had absolutely no interest in her is incredibly intriguing.
But there’s something tangible between him and her sister. Something invisible connects them to each other, and Cassie thinks she can hear it humming, like a live wire. And it’s not something she has any right to observe, but she can’t tear her eyes away from them.
Jealousy stirs in Cassie’s heart as Fezco laughs at a witty comment Lexi made, and it takes all of Cassie’s strength not to upend the coffee table and storm off. Instead, she inhales and exhales sharply through her nose, examining her nails to feign nonchalance.
At the end of the evening, after Lexi wins the game, finishes her awkward celebratory dance, and makes it rain Monopoly money all over her sister and boyfriend, she takes Fez’s hand and leads him over to the front door, Suze and Cassie following suit.
“Yo, it was nice to meet you, Mrs. Howard. You got a mad nice home, and thank you for the dinner, it was hella good,” Fez says, and Cassie watches his eyebrows raise as Suze goes in to give him a hug.
“So nice to meet you, too, Fezco,” Suze says warmly before pulling away. “You’re always welcome here, hun, just not past 10pm.”
“ Mom ,” Lexi warns.
Fez is chuckling to himself. “I gotchu, Mrs. Howard. No funny business gon’ happen, I promise you that.” He turns to Cassie, who’s been standing just off to the side. “It was nice to see you, Cassie, an’ I gotta say, that lasagna you made was fuckin’ fire .”
Lexi and Fez are giving Cassie twin smiles, eyes all lit up with that elusive happiness that Cassie can never seem to grasp. But as she looks between them, the jealousy that had stirred within her heart begins to fade. Happiness looks good on Fez, and it looks incredible on Lexi. Her little sister is radiant , hand tucked in Fez’s larger one, and Cassie is overcome with the need to ensure Lexi’s radiance lasts as long as it possibly can.
“It’s Lexi’s favorite,” Cassie says, shrugging, “and she said she knew you’d like it, so.”
Fez looks touched by Lexi’s thoughtfulness, and gives her hand a squeeze. “I’ll text you later, ma,” he says, other hand on the doorknob.
Lexi lifts her chin and gently kisses his cheek, saying, “‘Kay,” before releasing his hand and letting him step out of the house.
“Have a good night Mrs. Howard, Cassie,” Fez says with a final wave as he shuts the door behind him.
Cassie can’t stop blinking. She’s never seen such a display of fondness and mutual care before. Certainly not one that she can remember between her mom and dad, definitely not between herself and any of her exes. Probably not even between her friends and the boys they’ve dated, either.
“What’s your secret?” Cassie asks Lexi as they both jog upstairs, Cassie trailing her little sister.
“I’on know, Cass, I think we just got lucky,” Lexi says as she throws open the door to their bedroom.
Cassie thinks of the angel that she imagines gave Lexi the happiness that was supposed to go to her , thinks of how close she might have been to being as lucky as Lexi. But would she have known what to do with that gift? Would she have been open to wherever happiness led her, or would she have wasted the chance to be truly happy by chasing after guys who ultimately did not care about her?
Cassie crosses to Lexi’s side of the room and stands behind her sister, who’s currently plugging her phone into its charger on her desk. Cassie wraps her arms around Lexi’s waist and rests her chin on Lexi’s shoulder.
“If anyone deserves to be this lucky,” Cassie says, pouring her heart into every word, “it’s you, Lex.”
***
This place fuckin’ stinks .
That’s Ashtray’s first thought as he follows his brother into the rescue shelter. The concrete bricks do little to muffle the sounds of animals vying for attention from anyone and everyone who looks their way. They aren’t in cages or anything, just behind glass in these little rooms with cozy-lookin’ beds and toys scattered on the floor. Ashtray doesn’t see why these dogs and cats need “rescuing” when they’re already living the high life as it is.
“Oh my god,” Lexi breathes, peering through one of the windows, and she actually fuckin’ clutches her chest at the sight of some puppies wrestling with each other. Ashtray rolls his eyes.
A lady wearing a “Volunteer” shirt comes over to the three of them with a clipboard and has them each sign their name. There’s this small, dumb feeling in the pit of Ashtray’s stomach as he takes the pen - he hates having to write out his whole name. Avoids it as often as he can. He scribbles Ash on the line and glares at the lady, a silent dare for her to press him on providing more. She eyes him warily, but doesn’t say anything more and walks away.
Fuckin’ nosy bitch.
“Yo, Lex,” Fezco says, “come over here.” He’s got his face an inch away from a second windowed room, and when Lexi joins him, she gasps.
“Awwww!” Lexi coos, and Ashtray can’t help his curiosity from bringing himself over to investigate.
A bundle of grey fur is resting in the middle of a cushion, and if it weren’t for all the wiggling in different directions, Ashtray might not have been able to tell that he was looking at four or five different kittens all snuggled up together.
Fuck, Lexi was infiltrating his brain, makin’ him think thoughts about kittens fuckin’ snuggling .
The volunteer lady lets the three of them into the room with the kittens, and Lexi immediately drops to her knees after the door behind them closes.
“Hiiiiiii, babies!” she whispers, feather-light hands above tiny kitten heads that start to nudge her fingertips with their noses. The excitement and glee is radiating off of Lexi, and she’s trying to keep herself composed but Ashtray can tell she’s on the verge of exploding.
He scoffs and looks over at his brother, expecting to see Fezco holding back a laugh at Lexi’s unraveling.
But Fezco is doing no such thing. He’s got one shoulder propped against the wall and both hands are in the pocket of his hoodie, and there’s no smirk on his face. Instead, he’s watching Lexi play with the kittens like he’s watching a baby learn to crawl, like what he’s witnessing is creating within him a new understanding of life.
Ashtray scowls. It’s just fuckin’ cats , what’s the big deal?
“I don’t think they like you very much, Lex,” Fez quips as kittens tumble in and out of her lap.
Lexi’s grin is blinding. “I’m obsessed ,” she admits.
“Yeah, no shit,” Ashtray mumbles.
His comment does not faze Lexi. She’s got a kitten in her hands, one that’s not as wiggly as the others, and she gently lifts it towards Ashtray. “Wanna hold him?”
Ashtray rolls his eyes, and Lexi doesn’t relent. She waits for his response, her big eyes as hopeful as ever.
The kitten in question yawns, and a tiny flame is lit inside Ashtray’s chest. “How you know it’s a boy?” he asks, suspicious.
“I don’t,” Lexi shrugs. “Just a guess.”
Ashtray looks back at Fez, who has chosen this moment to be an appropriate time to smirk. At him .
“Fuck you lookin’ at?” Ashtray says, a trace of venom in his tone. He holds his hands out, not breaking eye contact with his brother.
“You gotta get closer to the ground, bro,” Fez says, clearly amused by the situation.
“Man, shut the fuck up.” Ashtray crouches next to Lexi, careful to look as unbothered as he possibly can. Lexi sets the little furball into his palms, and Ashtray nearly falls over.
It’s warm . A lot warmer than he figured it’d be. And there’s a fluttering pulse under all that fur, beating so fast that he briefly worries the thing’s gonna explode. The kitten is so light, virtually weightless, almost like fluffy glass…? Ashtray shakes his head as the thought comes to him. How the fuck did all these dumbass thoughts enter his mind all of a sudden?
Just then, the little guy has the balls to fuckin’ purr . The tiny rumbles are all that it takes for Ashtray to decide that he’s gonna spend the rest of the hour with him.
And he does. He finds a toy on the floor in the shape of a worm and wiggles it in front of the kitten’s face, and dude is obsessed with it for the next five minutes. Then he wanders over to some other kittens and starts whackin’ them for no good reason. Then he comes back to Ashtray, who’s sitting on the floor at this point, and starts pushing his tiny paws into Ashtray’s leg. It’s nice for literally one second until his little claws start poking holes in Ashtray’s track pants, and he almost pushes the fucker off of him.
But before he can, Lexi says, “That’s his way of bonding with you.”
“The fuck you mean?”
“Kittens do that to their mothers when they’re trying to stimulate the milk flow. It’s his way of saying he’s comfortable around you.”
Ashtray opens his mouth to retort, but notices what Lexi is doing, and stops.
Lexi has an adult cat resting in her lap, and Fez is crouched next to her, scratching the cat behind its ears. They’re both looking at the cat with the same expression, kind of like the look they get on their faces when one of them helps the other in the kitchen, or one of them suggests they order the other’s favorite take-out for dinner.
Ashtray sneaks a few glances over at them as the hour passes, and they’re so wrapped up in each other and that cat in Lexi’s lap that he knows they don’t notice him. At one point, he even hears Lexi whisper to Fez, “I always wanted a cat, but we couldn’t have one in our house. Too much drama for three people who could barely take care of themselves.”
“I get that,” Fez says. “Grandma always said we couldn’t be spendin’ money on no one who ain’t makin’ it themselves, not even no fuckin’ fish.”
Lexi rests her head on Fez’s shoulder, and they continue to peacefully pet the cat in her lap.
Ashtray considers what it might be like to bring a kitten home, and finds he can hardly imagine it. Between all the randos that visit and the potential for danger (including his own near-death experience that he doesn’t wanna think about right now), his and Fez’s house was no place for an innocent animal to live.
But Ashtray can read his brother’s face like no one else can. He can tell there’s a plan cooking in Fez’s mind, and as the three of them leave the shelter after their hour is up (not without Lexi lingering by the door as the cats she’d been bonding with carried on as if she hadn’t been there, not without Lexi’s lower lip trembling slightly as Fez took her hand and led her to the main entrance, not without Ashtray struggling to detangle his little friend’s tiny claws from his pants), Ashtray’s heart feels heavy.
Fez has his arm around Lexi’s shoulder, walking ahead of Ashtray, and he kisses the top of her head before they part ways to get into the Cadillac. “Someday, Lex,” Fez promises.
When we’re outta the game , Ashtray thinks as he slides into the back seat. Lexi will lead us out, and we’ll have as many fuckin’ cats as we want. Someday.
***
Rue missed this.
She can’t remember the last time she sat dangling her feet off the roof of the store with Lexi, soft music playing out of phone speakers, a bag of Sour Patch Kids in her lap and the sun dipping low in the sky. Lexi’s hair might be straighter, and Rue might have grown a few inches, but it still feels like they’re on the edge of high school, contemplating their place in the world.
Rue nudges Lexi’s shin with her toe. “Sooooo,” she begins, dragging out the word for dramatic effect, the way she knows Lexi hates. “You and Fez, huh?”
Instantly, Lexi’s cheeks redden as a slow smile grows on her face. “Yeah,” is all she says.
“Don’t leave me hangin’, Lexi, spill!” Rue bounces a piece of candy off Lexi’s cheek.
“Hey!”
“Yeah, well, that’s what you get! Sneakin’ around with my friend, practically my brother , telling me absolutely nothing !” Rue’s grinning, teasing Lexi like usual, even if there’s some truth to her words.
“We didn’t mean to keep it a secret, Rue, you were kinda wrapped up in your own thing,” Lexi says, plucking another piece of candy out of Rue’s fingers and popping it in her own mouth.
A remnant of the heartbreak Rue experienced with Jules zips through her chest, sudden, but not debilitating. “When am I fucking not , Lex,” Rue sighs. “For real, though, I’m happy you have each other. My two favorite people being together feels like a good omen, you know?”
“Mmhmm,” Lexi hums, nodding. She’s fiddling with her necklace, and Rue notes the pendant is new, can’t quite make out what it is, but the setting sun is glinting off the surface and creating a glow near Lexi’s heart.
Fuckin’ precious .
They both sit in comfortable silence for a while, Rue’s R&B playlist creating a chill vibe for their chill hangout. She remembers when climbing up to the roof once felt like escaping the shitty reality down on the ground. Now, it kinda feels like coming home.
“Senior year starts next week,” Lexi says after a bit, like she and Rue haven’t already discussed it.
“Yeah,” sighs Rue, “I’m not feeling particularly sentimental about it, though.”
Lexi shrugs. “Gonna be a lot of ‘lasts’, you know.”
“Huh?”
“Like, ‘last first day of school’? ‘Last picture day’? ‘Last school dance’?”
Rue thinks about that for a second. “Eh, I’on know if I’m gonna care about that shit.”
Lexi’s eyebrows furrow in response.
Suddenly, a hand grabs onto the roof next to Rue’s knee.
“Jesus fuck!” Rue cries.
Fez’s face appears immediately, his goofiest grin spreading across his face. “‘Sup, Rue?” As he hoists himself into a seated position next to Rue, he glances across her to look at Lexi, and his face drops. “What’s wrong, Lex?”
Lexi shrugs again. “Just feeling kinda nostalgic, I guess.”
“She’s getting prematurely emotional for all the things we’re gonna do for the last time in senior year,” Rue explains, dismissively kicking out her feet to the beat of the music coming out her phone’s speakers.
“Aw, Lex,” Fez says, leaning forward to look at his girlfriend on the other side of Rue. “You gon’ have a lotta shit to be happy about, too.”
Lexi smiles a bit at this. “Like what?”
“Well,” Fez continues, “you gon’ have your own bedroom, your own bathroom, for the first time in your life. And don’t they still do them senior privileges? Like you can leave school for lunch and whatnot?”
“I’ve been leaving school for lunch since freshman year,” Rue mumbles.
“Plus, ain’t you goin’ to your senior prom? That’s like a big deal an’ shit,” Fez says, ignoring Rue’s comment.
“I guess so,” Lexi sighs. Her hand goes up to her pendant again, and Rue thinks she feels Fez lean in closer to Lexi, his shoulder nudging into Rue’s personal space.
“ Anyways ,” Rue says after a beat, “if all that shit’s important to you, Lex, you and me can make every ‘last’ hella fuckin’ special, okay?”
“You and I,” Fez interjects.
“Huh?”
“Nothin’,” Fez says, kicking his feet together.
Next to Rue, Lexi blushes.
Lexi and Fez take turns stealing Rue’s Sour Patch kids as the setting sun dyes the sky darker and darker shades of periwinkle. Their conversation flows, and covers topics such as: will Rue ever return the clothes she’s borrowed from Fez? (answer: No.); how’s Gia doing?; how’s Cassie doing?; what colleges will Lexi apply to in the fall? (answer: Only the good ones, says Fez. Only the preppy ones, says Rue.); what colleges will Rue apply to in the fall? (answer: Fuck off).
“If, and I fuckin’ mean if , I apply to any colleges, they’re gonna be community colleges ‘cuz you know my mom’s not letting me move out any time soon,” Rue says matter-of-factly. “It’s a fuckin’ miracle I can even think about going to college, man.” Rue tries not to let her shame show on her face.
Fez nods. “You come so fuckin’ far, kid,” he says with a gentle shove to Rue’s arm.
“I’m really proud of you, Rue,” Lexi says softly as she rests her head on Rue’s opposite shoulder.
In that moment, a warmth falls over Rue. Here are her two favorite people, sitting on either side of her, expressing how they feel about her after all she put them through. She’s already done the apologies, already cried to each of them about how ashamed she is of how she treated them, and yet she still feels undeserving of the love they’re showing her.
The warmth of their affection isn’t shrouding her like a blanket over her shoulders, Rue realizes. The love they have for her is flowing between them and through her. She couldn’t have predicted it, but Lexi and Fez are two magnets, drawn together by their opposite poles, pulling each other closer no matter what lies between, even if what lies between is her .
Lexi takes Rue’s hand, and as Rue glances at her best friend, she takes note of the pendant around Lexi’s neck. A golden ribbon tied into a bow, like the ribbons Lexi will sometimes wear in her hair. Rue wonders if this is something Fez got for Lexi, and decides she’ll ask Lexi about it later.
A couple of brighter stars fight the city lights as they begin to shine weakly over Fez’s store. A light breeze blows, Lexi shivers, and without missing a beat, Fez says, “Prob’ly time to get you both home. It’s fuckin’ cold out here, for real.”
The three of them climb down from the rooftop, and as her feet hit the pavement, Rue watches Fez and Lexi instantly gravitate towards each other. There’s a weird pang of sorrow in her chest, but it dissipates quickly as Lexi wraps her arms around Rue.
“I really love you Rue, you know that, right?”
Rue hums. “You gettin’ sappy on me, Lexi?”
Lexi shakes her head no, her chin bumping into Rue’s jaw.
Fez, who had gone into the store, comes back out with a yellow packet in his hands. “Ash’s closin’ up so I can drive y’all home. Here,” he says as he tosses Rue the packet. It’s another bag of Sour Patch Kids. “Since we ate all’a yours.”
Rue and Lexi follow Fez to the Cadillac, and Lexi slides into the back seat behind the driver, silently offering the front seat to Rue. As Fez drives them through the sleepy streets of East Highland, Rue glances back at her best friend, and is pleasantly surprised to see Lexi resting her hand on the junction of Fez’s neck and shoulder, fingers playing idly with his chain. Fez is uncharacteristically relaxed, and Rue realizes she’s never been in his car when he wasn’t on his way to re-up or otherwise deal with his business. It’s nice to see him genuinely chilled out.
Rue thinks about what Lexi had said, about the many ‘lasts’ that lie before them. She seems to remember some line from some song talking about how every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end, and thinks she might share that idea with Lexi in a day or two. For now, Rue will just let Lexi feel her feelings, whatever they might be, because Rue is starting to learn that emotions aren’t worth pushing aside. Emotions are what allow Rue to bask in the glow of her friends’ love for her and for one another, and she wants to feel her own feelings for as long as she can.