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Summary
Thor makes a hard choice. He lives with the aftereffects.
So, eventually, does Loki.
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Thor ignored that. “What do you mean, unnecessary? You died because I-”
“Made the sensible choice,” Loki interrupted, though Thor thought he saw him twitch. His stomach started to ache. “It was a sound calculation. My life or the lives of trillions - more than that - of others. In the balance…”
Thor took several deep breaths before he spoke. “Your life is not - a thing that can be placed on a scale.”
Loki cocked his head a little to the side. “Isn’t that what you did?”
The Tesseract or your brother’s life. The two set against each other, and he had made the choice that seemed the wiser.
A stone dropped heavily into Thor’s stomach. He stared at Loki, unsure how to articulate what was wrong about…all of this. About how easily Loki justified the choice Thor had hated himself for making. How easily Loki justified his own death as a sensible choice, a sound calculation.
“I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” Loki said, one corner of his lips twitching up. “That’s what it means to be a hero, isn’t it? To make the hard choices?”
At least, a voice murmured in Thor’s head, he acknowledges that it was difficult. At least he doesn’t think it was easy for you.
But I wouldn’t have expected anything else.
“Would you have done the same?” Thor blurted out. “If our positions had been reversed, and you held the Tesseract - would you have watched me die before handing it over?”
Loki hesitated. His eyes skated a little away. “I am more selfish than you are,” he said, at length. Another stone joined the first in Thor’s stomach.
“But you expected that I…” Thor inhaled, and let it out slowly. “And you would not hold this against me?” His voice sounded small. Never before, Thor thought, had he wished for Loki to be angry with him.
“No,” Loki said simply. “Why would I?”
.
“It is just what needed to be done.”
“You wouldn’t have!” Thor said, his voice rising. “Do you think I love you less?”
Loki’s hesitation was a punch in the gut. Thor pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, bending forward. Oh, yes. This was much worse than Loki’s anger.
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