Work Text:
“I can’t believe you!” Karen yelled, ducking slightly as another chunk of robot was flung towards her. “You… Daredevil!” Her hair was falling out of its ponytail, and she stood in the center of the room, glaring right at Matt.
“Can we please not talk about this now?” Foggy yelled, crouching beneath her desk, hands locked firmly behind his neck, as if preparing for a tornado. “Y’know, maybe some time when the machines aren’t rising up against us.” He threw a suspicious glance towards the copy machine.
“And you!” Karen spun towards him, rage in her eyes, pointing at him with enough venom to make him flinch. “You knew about all this, and you let me worry!”
“Can we talk about this later?” Matt yelled, impaling yet another robot with his cane. His fists were bloody and bruised from punching metal, and his glasses were askew. Glass was scattered all over the room from where the first robot had crashed through the window, and the office door was hanging off its hinges. There were various robotic limbs and parts scattered all around the office, and Karen had lost track of how many of them Matt had dismembered already.
Foggy reached up and grabbed Karen’s arm, trying to pull her down. “Please, get under the desk and let the superhero punch the robots,” he pleaded, and finally, reluctantly, Karen went under the desk, cursing out Matt Murdock the whole time. The two of them barely fit beneath her desk, but they managed, while Matt continued to beat up robots.
After what felt like a lifetime, all the robots fell down, suddenly dead, and Foggy was painfully reminded of the Chitari invasion.
Matt promptly collapsed on top of the desk, knocking Karen’s laptop to one side. Foggy and Karen got out and poked him tentatively, affirming that he was still breathing. Once they ascertained that he was in no immediate danger, they quickly switched on the television to try to figure out what was happening, while Foggy called Claire.
Claire soon after, with the contents of about three first-aid kits, took one look at Matt, and quickly set to work.
“Fucking Avengers,” Matt said, holding an icepack to his head, while Karen swept the fragments of robots into a pile. The news was cheerfully reporting about the newest debacle—the phrase “rogue AI” was repeated so often that Foggy was fairly sure that their lives had just taken a sharp swerve into Sci-Fi territory.
“Amen to that,” Claire muttered, as Foggy carefully unplugged all electronics. It might be paranoia, but today had successfully proved that the machines were out to get them, so he’d rather be safe than sorry.
“I am going to sue Tony Stark,” Foggy said viciously as he yanked the cord for the copier out of the wall. “I am going to sue him so hard.”
“Can we? Please?” Karen asked, throwing a robot head into the recycling bin, and then stomping on it for good measure, repeatedly slamming the heel of her black pumps down on the Iron-Man-like-mask. She frowned down at the mess of electronics and machinery pensively. “Do you think there’s going to be a collection taken up of these things, or…?” Now that she was thinking about it, were the robots even recyclable? Had Tony Stark made his evil robots eco-friendly?
“Is suing a superhero a good idea?” Claire asked, sewing up an inch-long gash in Matt’s arm. Claire had been relatively lucky—her hospital hadn’t been targeted, and neither had her apartment. The worst she had come off with was frazzled hair and a slight bruising on one arm, where she’d banged into a door as she ran to a shelter.
Claire had brought painkillers, suspecting that Matt would really need them after punching heavy metal with his bare hands, and they were slightly stronger than the usual stuff she could get, so Matt was pleasantly fuzzy and vaguely amused by everything.
“Why not?” He said, fishing in his pocket for his spare glasses. Claire took them from him and placed them on his nose for him. “He just trashed the city.” He grinned slightly.
“And he’s still here, unlike the last guy!” Foggy said, pointing at the television screen, which showed a rather battered looking Stark standing next to the rest of the Avengers, walking into Avengers Tower, flashing a peace sign at the press.
“Were you going to try and sue Loki?” Karen asked, bent over to fetch a couple of screws from beneath the desk.
“That’s probably an even worse idea than suing Iron Man,” Claire observed, although there was a humorous angle to her smile.
“We could take up a petition! Represent the whole neighborhood!” Foggy said, spreading his arms out wide. “Citizens of Hell’s Kitchen vs Iron Man! The case of the decade!”
“Can we talk about this after I get our super hero patched up and put to bed?” Claire said, dabbing the blood off Matt’s forehead with a wet cloth.
Karen spun to face her, indignant. “You knew too?”
“Oh no,” Foggy massaged his forehead to fend off the impending headache.
“Do not yell at my concussed patient,” Claire said, frowning slightly. “Yell at him tomorrow please.”
Karen slumped against the wall, groaning. “When did this become my life?”
“Not my fault the robots went evil!” Matt protested, taking up the expression that Foggy had once in college called the “kicked puppy” look.
“Shut up Murdock.” Karen muttered, not even looking at him.
“So… shall I draw up a disposition?” Foggy asked, glaring at the direction of the television, which now was showing footage of the destruction.
“Do it,” Claire said darkly, slapping a bandage over one of Matt’s cuts with slightly more force than was strictly necessary, “You should see what happened to my hospital.”
“Let’s go home please,” Matt said, slumping on the desk again.
“Your place, Daredevil,” Claire said, slipping under one of his arms, Karen under the other. Foggy followed behind them carrying their coats, cursing Tony Stark the whole way.
They deposited Matt on his bed, which he collapsed in gratefully, groaning in hopes to garner Karen’s sympathy.
“I’ve got to go,” Claire said, glancing at her phone. “I need to check in on Luke and Jessica before it gets too late.”
“Luke has unbreakable skin,” Foggy pointed out. “And Jessica’s pretty durable too.”
“Luke will get upset if I play favorites,” Claire said brusquely. “Don’t pull your stitches,” she told Matt firmly. “Don’t let him play dress-up,” she added to Karen and Foggy.
Karen threw herself onto the bed next to Matt. “Sleep now,” she muttered, draping one arm over Matt.
“You not mad?”
“I can be mad in the morning. C’mhere Foggy.”
Foggy joined them, the three of them cramming onto Matt’s bed, and they all fell to sleep within moments.
“I’m being sued ?” Tony Stark demanded of JARVIS, jaw hanging open as he stared at the ceiling.
“Don’t be so surprised,” Natasha advised him, smirking slightly. “Ultron is your invention.”
“I stopped him!”
“We stopped him,” Wanda pointed out from where she was sitting, reading a book.
“Fine. We stopped him. We saved the day, and I’m getting sued?”
“I’m pretty sure Disney made a whole movie on that premise,” Steve said, looking over Sam’s shoulder as Sam cooked. The smell of bacon and eggs filled the air tantalizingly, but it was not enough to stop a Stark on a tangent.
“Who brought you up to date on modern culture, shame on them,” Tony said, pointing at Steve, before returning to his point. “Who is suing me?”
“Couple of hot-shot ambulance chasing lawyers from Hell’s Kitchen,” Natasha said, taking a bite from her apple. “Fresh out of internships, set up a cute little practice, all idealism and pro-bono cases. They rallied their entire burrow against you, it’s great. There’s some killer graffiti in the area.” She pulled out her phone and began flipping through some defaced Iron Man helmets and a couple of large, stylized TONY STARK SUCKS. Bruce leaned over her shoulder, making approving noises as she continued to scroll.
“I saved the world! Multiple times! And this is the thanks I get? The idealist lawyers sue me?”
“Hell’s Kitchen is pretty wrecked,” Clint pointed out, rummaging through the fridge. “I mean, Loki screwed it over pretty badly, and Ultron didn’t really help anything. Katie-Kate and I crashed through it yesterday. It’s pretty beat up.”
“The fact remains, we saved the day! And now are getting sued!”
“You’re getting sued,” Pietro pointed out happily from the coffee machine, where he was preparing two espressos for himself and Wanda. “The rest of the Avengers are not.” He smirked at Tony.
“Just you, in the spotlight,” Bruce said, patting him lightly on his back. “Isn’t that exactly the way you like it?”
“I have been betrayed!” Tony said dramatically, pressing his hands against his heart. “My friends have left me alone in my time of need—”
“Left you with a team of perfectly capable lawyers,” Rhodey pointed out from his position across the room, where he and Thor were playing chess. “To fight off a lawsuit from a couple of kids who are probably just trying to make a point, and will probably back off if you throw some charity workers in their general direction.” He moved a knight. “Check.”
“Betrayed!” Tony continued, as if his best friend hadn’t spoken, “Betrayed and left all alone—”
“What happened?” Pepper asked, coming in, holding her tablet close to her as if it was a shield against Tony’s melodrama.
“Tony’s being sued,” Sam said. “Eggs?” He held out a plate towards her, wafting the smell of scrambled eggs towards her.
“Please. And Tony is constantly being sued. Why’s this one any different?”
“They’re suing him. Not Iron Man, not Stark Industries, him.” Natasha grinned widely, clearly amused by the whole situation. “You should read the documents they drew up, it’s pretty hilarious.”
“This didn’t get thrown out as frivolous?” Pepper said, raising her eyebrows as she accepted her plate from Sam and went to fetch a fork and knife from the drawer.
“Nope. Judge was pretty sympathetic, given the damages in Hell’s Kitchen,” Natasha shrugged, taking another bite from her apple.
Thor walked over, having won his game with Rhodey. Sam handed him a plate of eggs and bacon, which Thor thanked him for and began to wolf down happily. “Cannot you just speak to the plaintiffs involved?” He asked, coming up for air briefly. “Surely they will be reasonable.”
Tony looked thoughtful, tapping his chin. “JARVIS, what’s the address?”
The office was in a thoroughly trashed neighborhood, and, sure enough, Tony had been insulted by multiple walls on the way there.
According to JARVIS, Hell’s Kitchen was the operating zone for a number of small-time superheroes, who had taken out their own fair share of robots when the disaster had hit. The community was collecting the robots, and had been attempting to sell them back to whatever company would buy them to help cover damages. Tony sent Pepper a text to make a bid—he did not want Osborn to get his hands on mini-Ultrons, or whatever they were calling the robots.
The office that was their final destination had a small plaque outside the building that read “NELSON & MURDOCK: ATTORNEYS AT LAW” in nice, respectable lettering. Next to it, scrawled in sharpie, the word “AVACADOS” could be read, as well as a smilie face. A similar sign, also in sharpie on plain white paper, hung on the door to the office proper.
The office itself was small—painfully small, in Tony’s opinion—just three rooms, none of them that large. It was possibly the smallest law firm that he had ever had to deal with, and wasn’t that a disconcerting thought, that he’d dealt with that many lawyers. A blonde woman sat behind the desk immediately in front of the door, flipping through a large collection of papers and talking on her phone. “Look, Luke, I know you’re busy, but if you and Jess could come down to the office it would really be helpful—you’re on the committee, and the meeting is tonight, and I’ve got the preliminary figures—”
That’s when she noticed that Tony Stark and the Black Widow were in the office, because she gave a small squeak and whispered, “I’ll have to call you back,” into the handset, before she hung up and whipped her head toward them, bug-eyed, mouth forming a very small, “O”.
“Can I…” she swallowed, cleared her throat, and tried again, trying to smile. “Can I help you?”
“We’re here to see Mr. Murdock and Mr. Nelson,” Natasha said, grinning slightly.
Suddenly, a brunette head poked out of one of the offices. “Natalia?”
Natasha turned, blinking, surprised for once. “Matt!”
“Natalia!” Matt walked into the office, cane in hand. He reached out his hand, just enough to the wrong direction that Natasha had to move slightly to shake it properly. “It’s good to see you, what are you doing here?”
“You know the Black Widow?” The secretary said, looking at Matt Murdock like he’d grown a second head.
“The Black…” Matt’s face contorted in surprise. There was a pause, as Natasha just stood there awkwardly. It was around then that Tony Stark realized that Mathew Murdock, Attorney at Law, was, in fact, blind. “So. Not an art dealer then.”
“Nope.”
“Not Spanish?”
“Nope.”
“Ah.”
“Ah.” She paused slightly, then offered up, almost guiltily. “I was undercover. For SHIELD.”
“So that’s why you never called,” Matt gave her a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Dude, the Black Widow? Seriously?” A second man, this one with longer, blondish hair appeared, looking like he was trying to contain a laugh.
“Natalia—” Matt began, before she cut him off.
“Natasha.”
“Natasha, this is Foggy Nelson, my partner and friend,” Matt said amiably, gesturing vaguely in Foggy’s direction. “Who’s your friend?”
“Tony Stark, nice to meet you,” Tony said, extending his hand.
That was the first time he got punched. Foggy Nelson had a surprisingly good right hook, and it caught him right on the cheek. “Ouch!”
“Asshole!” Foggy yelled, shaking his hand slightly—he had been refusing Matt’s offers of lessons, and was currently regretting it, because ouch his hand hurt from that. Faces were bony, and not very good for punching.
“Don’t assault the—” Matt tried to say, but Karen had clearly decided that Foggy had the right idea, and quickly followed suit, her fist colliding with his solar plexus, knocking the wind right out of the superhero.
“That was for my apartment,” Karen said stiffly, before quickly returning to her desk, eyes wide as if she couldn’t believe what she had just done.
“Okay, I deserved that,” Tony said, after he could breathe again. He turned to Matt, grinning sardonically, spreading his arms out wide. “Want a shot? No charge.”
Matt Murdock stood very still for a moment, as if considering his options, and then his fist flew out, catching Tony Stark beautifully on the jaw with a boxer’s precision, sending Tony flat on his back, sprawling to the ground.
It was about at that time when Natasha narrowed her eyes slightly as she spotted the bruising and scabs on his fists. Matt clearly had a lot of experience punching people, to be able to lay Tony out like that without shattering his jaw. She knew it wasn’t shattered because Tony wasn’t whining nearly enough.
“Ouch,” Tony whimpered from the floor.
“Go whine to Pepper,” Natasha said, laughing. “I want to catch up with Matt.”
“Catch up,” Tony muttered, rubbing his jaw as he got to his feet. “Sure.” He left the building, grumbling and moaning overdramatically.
Natasha turned to Matt, and quickly threw Tony’s wallet at him, aiming right for his face. Matt caught it automatically, and then froze as he realized what he’d done.
Foggy and Karen stared anxiously at Natasha, waiting for a reaction.
“Daredevil, huh?” Natasha crossed her arms, grinning.
“Black Widow, huh?” He retaliated, even imitating her voice. It was a good imitation, too.
Natasha tilted her head slightly, and then threw a pencil at him. Matt caught that too.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” Matt asked, grinning as he dangled the pencil between his fingers.
“That’s how it’s going to be,” Natasha confirmed before charging him.
“Is the Black Widow beating up our boyfriend in the office?” Karen asked Foggy, watching with wide-eyed wonder.
“I think it’s sparring…” Foggy said, although it was definitely more of a question.
“Should I call Claire?”
“Nah, she won’t get here in time.”
They continued to watch, wincing every time Matt or Natasha made contact with the walls or furniture.
“Should we make them take this outside?” Foggy said, worried. “We only just cleaned up in here!”
“I’m sure Matt won’t let them take it too far,” Karen said, propping her head up on her hands. “Besides, he’s having fun.”
“Fun,” Foggy muttered. “We’re dating a menace, Karen.”
“We’ve known that for a while,” Karen said, smiling before pecking Foggy on the cheek. “… do you think she’d…?”
“Maybe?” Foggy couldn’t help but look interested. “I guess we’ll have to ask once they’re done.”
They watched as Natasha slammed into Matt, throwing them both onto the floor.
“… maybe you should call Claire. And Danny. And Luke. And Jess. This is something that should be shared.”
Karen was already reaching for the phone.