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He was going to free his father soon, in a few days. Rapunzel had promised, and while she didn’t have a great track record with keeping promises, she was trusting him after what he had done, he only thought it fair to trust her too. And he was trying, he really was. Rapunzel wasn’t forcing him to trust her, she knew she had messed up and she apologized and told him she would make it up to him. He wanted to make it up to her too. He had missed everyone. He wanted to be friends again. But it didn’t seem everyone was so willing to trust him again so easily.
Eugene was one of those people.
After the whole battle with the Saporians they had all been celebrating. Rapunzel had given him a hug, and even Lance ruffled his hair and told him ‘good job!’ But Eugene hadn’t said anything, and at first Varian was okay with that. Maybe he was just waiting for the excitement to die down. Varian thought it was strange for Eugene to be so quiet, but he ignored it at the time.
But then the excitement did die down, and it was just Eugene, him, and Rapunzel. And Eugene wasn’t shy about how he felt in the current moment.
“Can we really trust him?” He practically spat it out, as if disgusted to even have to discuss this.
It was upsetting, but Rapunzel put her hand on Varian’s shoulder in a comforting manner and smiled softly at her boyfriend, “I believe he’s realized what he’s done and he’s willing to take the steps to move forward. Right, Varian?”
Varian was nervous, wringing his hands anxiously, but he nodded, “Y-Yeah! I feel horrible about what happened, and I can’t go back to change it all, but I’d like to at least try and make it right. I want to be friends again…”
Eugene scoffed. Varian flinched.
“Friends? After everything you’ve done? You’re dreaming, kid,” He snapped, arms crossed as he closed himself off.
It hurt. Varian’s shoulders fell and he bowed his head, frowning and trying not to get upset. Crying was the last thing he needed right now, even if he wanted to cry so badly. He hadn’t cried since they had all come home. His emotions were really starting to build now, especially with Eugene basically shunning him. He had always liked Eugene and looked up to him. He was like an older brother to him. And now he wanted nothing to do with him.
“It’s been a long day and frankly a long year, so I’m going upstairs and going to sleep,” Eugene said, leaning over and kissing Rapunzel on the cheek, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Blondie. Good job out there today.”
Rapunzel smiled at him, but it seemed tight, “Thanks Eugene. Sleep well.”
“You too,” He said, smiling back at her before he turned away and left without sparing another glance at Varian.
Varian hung his head, frowning. He felt awful, but he should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. Rapunzel set her hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently to get his attention, and he lifted his head to look at her. She smiled sweetly yet sadly, “Give him some time, Varian.”
Varian’s bottom lip trembled a bit, and his voice was wavering with emotions when he spoke up, “All I’ve been doing this past year is thinking about you guys. I just want to be friends again. But I should’ve known it wasn’t going to be easy.”
“Eugene is protective of me; he thinks you tried to hurt me and he’s holding a grudge. Once he realizes—” He cut her off before she could finish.
“But I did try to hurt you! And your parents!” Varian shouted, moving away from her hand as if it had burned him. She pulled her hand back, wincing at his tone. Varian immediately regretted shouting, “I-I’m sorry. I just… I just…”
Rapunzel stepped towards him again, but she kept her hands to herself this time, smoothing out her dress, “Varian, I forgive you for what you did. You may not believe me, but I’m telling the truth. What happened to you… It was a horrible thing, and I promise to help you free your father. I’m partially to blame for this too, and I do blame myself. I’m sorry for not acting sooner. I hope you can forgive me. I forgive you.”
Varian’s fists clenched at his sides, chewed down fingernails digging into his palms harshly as he gnawed on his lip. He didn’t know what to say. Did he forgive her? He thought he did, but he wasn’t sure of it now. He’d been through something traumatic, and while he knows he was to blame for it, he still went through hell. His Dad was taken away from him and no one lifted a finger to help, and then when he retaliated, he was thrown in jail for a year with a promise to get help for his astray mental state, only for that promise to be broken too. He spent a whole year in a cell alone with someone who treated him horribly.
It might take some time to forgive.
“Why don’t we find you something clean to wear and also a room for you to sleep in?” Rapunzel suggested, and honestly the thought of those things alone relaxed him a little.
He lifted his head again, and this time he smiled sweetly at her, “Yeah, that sounds nice, actually.”
Rapunzel motioned for him to follow her, and he did. They didn’t say much to each other, both of them incredibly exhausted after the events of the night. Rapunzel, Eugene, and Lance had just returned and walked into a kingdom in chaos. Varian felt horrible about it, but once again it was something he couldn’t change. He just kept making mistakes, it was remarkable that Rapunzel was so forgiving.
She led him upstairs to the floor she and Eugene slept on, leading him down the long hall and looking for a room. Before she found him a bedroom though, she stopped by a storage room and got him some new clothes to wear considering he’s been wearing the same shirt and pants for a year. After she had the clothes, she led him down the hallway again, and eventually she stopped outside a door and opened it up, gesturing for him to step inside.
It was a small room, but big enough. It was nice and cozy, and the bed looked so soft. He’d not slept on something that fluffy in what felt like ages. He was becoming more exhausted with every second he stared at it.
“I’ll leave you to get some sleep then,” Rapunzel said suddenly from behind him, and momentarily he forgot she was even there.
He spun around to look at her, her hands clasped in front of her. Varian nodded in understanding, “Y-Yeah, okay. It’s been a long day… Listen, I’m—”
“No need to apologize, Varian,” Rapunzel stopped him before he could go on and on again about being sorry, “The Saporians are bad people and they turned against you. You didn’t want to hurt anyone and, in the end, they hurt you.”
Varian frowned, fingers twitching against one another as he clasped his hands in front of him like Rapunzel, “Well, I hurt you.”
It was quiet for a minute and that scared him. Maybe she realized he was right, and now maybe she wanted to put him back in that horrible prison cell in the dungeon. He didn’t want to go back in there, it was too awful. It was cold and empty and despite having a cellmate he felt so, so lonely.
Suddenly there were hands on his shoulders, and it made him flinch visibly, but all he got for the motion was a concerned look, “I’m not going to say you were right for what you did, but I will say that it was an understandable action. You felt trapped. I already told you I forgive you, and that’s all I can do. Now you just have to find it in you to forgive yourself.”
That was going to be hard to do. He let everyone down and now Eugene didn’t even want to… He felt his eyes sting with emotion just thinking about how Eugene had treated him so coldly. He deserved it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Do you think Eugene will forgive me?” Varian asked, his voice small and barely above a whisper.
“He’s upset right now, but he cares about you. He’ll come around, I promise,” Rapunzel told him.
She’d promised before, and they all saw how that turned out.
He felt horrible just thinking that. He wanted to cry. Better to do it once he was alone.
“Okay… I hope so…” Varian whispered, “Thanks for the clothes and the room, Rapunzel. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
He knew she could tell he was upset, and he also knew she wanted to stay and help him. But she was tired too. He wasn’t sure what had happened while they were gone, but all of their eyes looked sad. They looked as if they had lost something.
He hadn’t seen Cassandra since they returned.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Varian,” Rapunzel said softly, concern present in her voice but he didn’t react to it, and she left.
He was alone. Again.
His eyes were burning horribly and once the door behind him clicked shut he let himself break apart. The tears began to flow immediately, and he cried audibly. He wasn’t too loud, not wanting to alert any of the guards that would surely be keeping an eye on him whether that be by Rapunzel’s orders or the King’s. His stomach and lungs hurt from trying to hold in his sobs, but it was better this way. He wouldn’t burden anyone if he just kept quiet.
His shoulders trembled and his hands were shaking, a chill running through his body. It was so cold in here, or maybe that was just his anxiety? He lifted his arms and wrapped them around himself in a pathetic attempt to bring himself some comfort. It didn’t work very well, he should’ve known that would be the case from the countless nights in an uncomfortable cot curling into himself for safety and comfort, only for his attempts to come up fruitless.
He cried for a while, standing in place and trembling. In the end all he ended up with was a tear-stained face and a headache, not even a shred of relief. He let out a deep breath, wiping his nose with his sleeve and looking towards the bed where Rapunzel had set the fresh clothes. He could at least change. He stepped over, removing his coat and hanging it on the foot of the bed before removing his old and dirty shirt, stained with dirt and dust and ruined with holes. He tossed it onto the floor, he was just going to get rid of it. He put on the new shirt, and he didn’t realize how comfortable a new shirt could feel. It was soft and warmer. Cozy. And it smelled nice. It made him smile a little, but only a little.
He changed out of the rest of his clothes, placing the ruined ones aside and setting his shoes at the foot of the bed under his hanging coat. After he was changed, he crawled into bed and got under the blankets and wow, he could almost cry against just being bundled up in this big and soft bed with this big warm blanket weighing on top of him. But he’d done enough of that for now, and his eyes were suddenly heavy. It was like he hadn’t realized how tired he was until he was laying down.
He yawned and closed his eyes, gripping the blanket tight around him and trying to relax into the softness of the bed. It took just moments for him to fall asleep.
- - -
“Andrew, it’s not that easy. Would you just listen to me and trust me? I know what I’m doing,” He said to the man following him around the makeshift lab he’d made in the castle after escaping from the dungeon with the Saporians.
“Are you sure about that, little man? Cuz you sure are going really slow,” Andrew complained as he leaned a hand on a table full of alchemy stuff he couldn’t even begin to identify.
“Well, complex solutions take more than two days to perfect,” Varian snapped irritably, his back turned to the Saporian.
“Aren’t you the best alchemist around here? Shouldn’t you be able to do this faster?” Andrew asked, sounding annoyed.
“First of all, I’m the only alchemist around here. Secondly, no. I can’t, because this stuff takes time. We’ve gone over this,” Varian said to him, pouring some things carefully into a beaker and mixing them together.
He heard Andrew’s footsteps behind him, getting closer, and his voice was low and growling, “I told you to get this done in a hurry and so far, the results have been disappointing.”
Varian sighed, “Andrew, I— Ah!”
Andrew suddenly grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around to face him and shoving him back. Varian felt his lower back hit the edge of the table harshly and he winced as Andrew became angry, “We can’t wait any longer. We need that solution now.”
Varian winced under his tight hold on his shoulder, trying to squirm out of it, “I-I can’t get it done that quickly, you have to be patient.”
Andrew laughed, actually laughed at that, and it wasn’t a pleasant sound. He tightened his hold on Varian’s shoulder, threatening him, “Have you learned nothing from your time in the dungeon, brat?”
Varian felt all the blood drain from his face, and his eyes went wide with fear. He swallowed nervously, shaking his head quickly, “I-I understand. I’ll get it done as fast as I can, I promise.”
Andrew chuckled, leaning over him, towering. Varian admitted he was little even for his age, so it made Andrew look gigantic in comparison. Varian’s hands gripped the edge of the table in a white-knuckled grasp as Andrew moved his hand from his shoulder and grabbed the front of his shirt instead, yanking him up onto his toes, “And how fast is that?”
Varian swallowed again, “I-I don’t know, maybe-maybe a week?”
Andrew frowned, “Not quick enough.”
He pulled Varian forward, spinning him around and grabbing the back of his neck and forcing him towards the door, “An-Andrew, what are you—”
“You don’t want to follow directions, then you’ll learn to,” He told him simply, and Varian knew what that meant.
He weakened his knees a bit, putting more weight on his feet as he tried to fight against the man, “Wait! Wait! Andrew, don’t! Please, I don’t want to!”
“You’ve gotta learn somehow,” He snapped, tightening his grip on the back of Varian’s neck.
“No, no! Please, I’ll work faster! Please, just don’t put me back in there! I don’t want to go back! You can’t—”
“I do what I want,” Andrew snapped, then he glared, rage flashing across his eyes, “Stop squirming!”
He then threw him against the wall harshly, and Varian braced himself with his shoulder. Something didn’t hit right, and his arm was incredibly sore, and he yelped to alert Andrew of that. Not that the man cared at all. He just leaned down when Varian hit the floor and grabbed him under his injured arm, hoisting him to his feet, “Let’s go.”
Varian whimpered in protest, the pain in his arm more intense as Andrew dragged him down the hall by it. He still resisted though, because the last thing he wanted was to go back—
“What did I tell you about squirming around?” Andrew yelled again, and Varian flinched, expecting to get thrown again. But instead, Andrew grabbed him by the front of his shirt again and hoisted him off of his feet, tossing him over his shoulder, “Maybe a little solitude will do you some good.”
Varian complained the rest of the way downstairs, kicking and trying to push Andrew away from him, but Andrew proved stronger. And eventually, Varian was being thrown to the floor, and it took him a minute to realize where he was once he hit the hard ground.
Cold. Dark. Lonely.
He was back in his cell.
He heard the door slam shut, being locked and unmovable now. Varian scrambled to his feet, rushing to the door and grabbing the bars, gripping tight. He gave Andrew a pleading look, tears in his eyes as he begged for him to let him out, “Andrew, please! Let me out! I’ll do what you asked, please just let me out!”
“Try to change your tone and maybe next time this won’t happen,” Andrew said, voice lighter now and seeming amused; he looked amused too. He swung the key ring around on his finger, smiling in cocky joy, “I’ll see you tomorrow, kid.”
He started to walk away, whistling a happy little tune. Varian just continued to shout though, begging to be set free, “Wait, Andrew! Come back! Let me out! You can’t leave me here all night! Please, come back! Andrew?! Andrew!”
But nothing. He didn’t turn around, and eventually the whistling faded, and Varian was left all alone. He was crying as he fell to his knees, hands gripping the bars looser than before as the fight left him, but he whispered one last time, “Please, come back…”
His forehead hit the cold, metal bars and he cried himself to sleep that night, falling unconscious on the cold and hard floor. Alone, like always.
- - -
He tossed and turned for several minutes before he shot awake, disoriented and trembling. For a while, he didn’t know where he was. It was dark, but it wasn’t cold. He was on something soft, and he felt warm, and yet whatever was wrapped around him keeping him warm also felt suffocating. He felt trapped and he couldn’t breathe.
Where am I?
He kicked his legs, throwing his elbows around and trying to get free of the blanket trapping him. He was able to throw it off of him, then he pushed his feet onto the mattress and pushed himself against the headboard. His fingers gripped the sheet underneath him, blue eyes wide as he searched the dark room. There was little light, only the faint glow from the moon. His eyes began making him see shapes in the shadows, forming silhouettes of things that weren’t even there. But his brain wasn’t coming to that realization right now, at the moment all he could see were monsters trying to get him.
He felt pathetic. Like a little kid. But he was scared. He was confused and he wanted someone to be here with him, and he would really rather have someone else here than the horrifying shadow that was growing in the corner of the room, looming over him.
He knew that shadow. He knew who it belonged to. He felt like crying again, and he pushed himself further against the headboard as the shadow appeared to creep closer. He was waiting for it to reach out and grab him, hold him down and punch him and pull his hair and scare him. He was waiting for it to pick him up and throw him over its shoulder, taking him all the way downstairs to the dungeon and throwing him in that cell again. He didn’t want to go back there. He couldn’t.
He didn’t want to be alone anymore.
He kicked and stumbled his way out of the bed, hitting the floor with a thud! He picked himself up though, breath heavy with panic as he reached for the door and yanked it open. The hallway had more light, and as soon as the better lit room was revealed to him, so were two large guards.
No, no, no!
“Hey, what do you think you’re—” One of them started to say something to him, and he didn’t like the tone they held. He rushed past both of them and into the hallway, booking it down the hall and hearing them call after him, “Hey! Come back here!”
He, of course, didn’t listen and just kept running. He was already out of breath, his anxiety killing him right now. His chest hurt and he was coated in a cold sweat. He needed to get somewhere safe, but where would that even be? Rapunzel didn’t trust him. She claimed she did, but he didn’t believe her. He doesn’t even know where Lance’s room was. And Eugene… Well, he was livid with him. He probably didn’t even want to look at him. So, where does he go from here?
The guards behind him were still yelling, and he must not have realized just how tired he was because he wasn’t running very well and he kept stumbling, and that gave the guards an advantage. He felt one of their large hands grab his arm, and he yelped at the contact. He tried to pull away, but the guard was holding strong.
“Hey, calm down! Why are you running? What are you up to?” He asked him, not letting up on his strong grip.
Varian was panting, eyes flicking around as he looked for some way out of here. He found a vase on a table next to them, and he reached over quickly with his free arm and grabbed it, throwing it at the guard holding him. The vase shattered against his tough armor, broken pieces hitting the floor. He released Varian, and the boy went stumbling to his knees. He caught himself on his hands, feeling shards of broken glass dig into his palms and fingers, but he ignored that and pushed himself back up to his feet and took off running again.
The guards yelled after him again, but he turned down a hall and was out of sight of them momentarily. He needed to go into one of these rooms to hide, he couldn’t let them catch him. They’d throw him back in the dungeon, and he couldn’t have that.
He looked around frantically as he ran, looking for somewhere to hide. There was a door up ahead, so he picked up the pace to get to it. He slid to a stop with his bare feet, grabbing the door handle and thanking whoever was listening that it was unlocked. He pushed it open and scampered inside, shutting it behind him and letting out a deep sigh of relief when he was finally out of reach of the guards. He leaned back against the door, trying to calm himself down, but it didn’t appear he’d be catching a break any time soon.
He felt a cool blade at his throat, and then a voice spoke low and agitated, “Who the hell are you and what do you want?”
Varian felt his body go rigid at the weapon pressing coldly against his skin, but he recognized the voice. And yet, he couldn’t say anything in response. His voice wasn’t working at the moment. Luckily, the person lit a match to bring some light to the room, the soft glowing light revealing the tired face of one Eugene Fitzherbert.
And it also alerted Eugene that the person he was currently threatening was none other than the boy he’d been ignoring and trashing all night, Varian.
“Varian?!” He questioned once he caught his eyes, “What the hell are you doing in here?!”
He pulled the blade away from his throat but kept it close. Varian felt himself shaking, still panting and his face felt wet. Eugene looked angry, but concern flashed across his eyes briefly, “What are you—”
“Eugene?” Varian finally was able to speak, voice sounding squeakier and higher than he remembers it; he almost winced at the sound.
Eugene frowned when he heard his voice, but he kept the scowl on his face. He lowered his weapon a bit more, “Why are you in here? It’s a little late, don’t you think? Or did you come in here to backstab me again?”
That hurt, and Varian was already having a hard time holding it together. He didn’t even know what happened, if he was being honest. He woke up from a nightmare and didn’t know where he was and somehow ended up here. It was starting to come back to him now, but he still was a bit confused.
“I-I didn’t want them to put me back in there,” He tried to explain, “They were chasing me. I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t want him to catch me.”
His voice was droning, as if all of what he was saying was forced. Eugene was confused, blinking a few times and furrowing his eyebrows, “What? What are you talking about?”
Varian shook his head, “Andrew, he was trying to get me. He wanted to put me back in there. And then the guards… I don’t want to go back! Don’t make me!”
None of this was making any sense, “Would you slow down? I don’t even know what you’re—”
He stopped short when he glanced down briefly and saw red dripping onto the floor. His eyes trailed upwards, and he was shocked to find both of Varian’s hands soaked red with blood.
Eugene quickly pulled his weapon back, setting it aside and beginning to panic at all of the blood he was seeing, “Varian, kid, what happened?!”
Varian flinched at the sudden change in tone, and he blinked. He was confused for a second, unsure of what Eugene was talking about. Then he looked down and saw the blood on his hands. He didn’t pass out when he saw it anymore, he’d grown past that a bit, but he still really didn’t like the look of it. He felt nauseous but felt the need to try and explain.
“Oh… D-Don’t worry, I didn’t hurt anybody… This is mine…” Varian said, staring blankly at his bloodied hands.
Eugene didn’t know how to react to that. Varian had assumed Eugene thought he had hurt someone and that’s where the blood had come from, which was already upsetting to him. But for him to think he would be less worried by telling him the blood came from his own body… Eugene swallowed the thickness in his throat, and he leaned over and lit a candle with the match. Then he reached forward and grabbed Varian’s shoulders.
“Are you hurt somewhere? Where did the blood come from? Are you alright?” He searched him, making sure he didn’t have a wound somewhere but found the rest of his body clean of blood.
Varian was surprised by the concern, but he was feeling very dizzy now and kind of wanted to throw up. His knees buckled and he went toppling forward, but Eugene caught him before he could hit the floor.
“Whoa kid. Steady now,” He grabbed his arms, trying to pull him up, but Varian yelped at the pressure on one of them and Eugene quickly moved his hands and situated them elsewhere, “Whoa, are you okay?”
It was obvious he wasn’t, and Eugene felt like an idiot to keep asking, but he didn’t know what else to say.
Varian was back on his feet, somewhat steady, and he was looking at Eugene now with sad and confused eyes, “Eugene?”
Eugene raised an eyebrow, hands on Varian’s shoulders again, “Yeah, kid?”
Varian blinked and looked around, as if confused by his surroundings, and then he looked down at his hands again and his eyes widened as if he finally realized what was going on. He looked back up at Eugene, face pale and looking ill. He frowned, eyes watering again and voice wavering, “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what happened. Why am I here?”
Eugene’s expression crumbled just hearing how desperate, sad, and confused Varian sounded. He squeezed his shoulders a little, “Come here, sit down. You’re barely standing as it is.”
Varian easily let Eugene lead him over to the bed that was currently a mess of sheets, showing that Eugene had jumped out of bed in a hurry. Varian took a seat, keeping his hands away from the sheets themselves; he didn’t want to stain them. Eugene was pacing around the room, but Varian didn’t pay him too much mind, instead he tried to gather his thoughts and figure out what had happened.
He’d had a bad dream and when he woke up it was dark, and he didn’t know where he was. He had forgotten he wasn’t in the cell anymore. And then when it came back to him that he was in a room Rapunzel had given him he thought he saw someone in the shadows, that someone being Andrew. He knew Andrew had been thrown back in the dungeon now, but at the time he had been terrified. He ran out of the room, the guards chased him and he— Oh, he threw a vase at one of them. He didn’t hurt him, did he? Maybe he did. He didn’t stick around to find out, but he did hear both of them yelling at him as he ran. Even still, what if he hurt the other guy, what if he got cut on the glass? Was this blood his? What if it wasn’t? What if—
“Kid, breathe,” Eugene suddenly snapped, and Varian’s head shot up so fast it made the man wince. He saw the panic in the boy’s eyes, how fast his breath was coming in and out; he looked horrified. He stepped over to him, kneeling in front of the bed to be more on eye level with him, and he put his hands on his shoulders again, “Varian, look at me.”
Varian was trying hard not to cry but he was quickly failing in that endeavor. He was shaking under Eugene's hands; he could feel his body trembling. He was having a panic attack. Eugene had dealt with these himself before, but the manner of this one was unlike anything he’d seen before. He’d never dealt with this confusion before. Varian was making eye contact with him though, so that was a start.
“Alright, breathe with me, okay? You can do that, right?” Eugene asked.
Varian shook his head, breath hitching, “I-I don’t know… I don’t…”
“Hey, of course you can. You’re a smart kid, this is easy stuff for you,” Eugene said, scooting a little closer, “Just watch me, okay? Breathe in,” He took a deep inhale, slow, and Varian tried to follow along, “And out.”
He exhaled and Varian followed. He struggled a little, but otherwise kept up, though he didn’t seem to think he was doing so well, “I can’t…”
“Yes, you can,” Eugene said softly, remaining calm, “Keep your eyes on me. Breathe with me. It might take a couple of tries, but you’ll get it. Now, let’s try again. Breathe in…”
He inhaled again and Varian stuttered on a breath, and when Eugene exhaled Varian choked on a sob. Eugene scooted closer at that, but he kept breathing slowly and helped Varian breathe along with him. And it did take a few tries, but eventually Varian did get better at evening it out and calming down.
“Good, good…” Eugene said softly, “Are you alright?”
Varian sniffled, eyes still watery, but he nodded as he bit his lip. Eugene sighed quietly in relief, letting go of the boy’s shoulders and putting his hands on his lower arms gently, “Alright, good… Now, let me look at your hands, okay?”
Varian looked down at his bloody hands and quickly remembered, oh yeah, he didn’t do too well with blood. He whimpered and pulled his gaze away; Eugene obviously noticed his discomfort, “Focus on something else in the room, I’ll get these cleaned up in no time.”
Varian did as he was told, not that he had much choice. He felt something warm on his hands, a moist towel wiping them clean. It would have been soothing had he not been calming down from a panic attack and was still riddled with anxiety. His mind was still reeling, foggy and unfocused and yet full of unwanted thoughts.
“I threw a vase at a guard,” He admitted, voice so small and quiet; Eugene almost didn’t hear him.
He looked up from what he was doing, looking at the kid’s face. He was obviously having a hard time keeping himself together, “What?”
“They were chasing me and-and I didn’t want them to put me back in the dungeon,” He explained, “It’s awful in there… Nobody came to visit… And understandable, I did something horrible but…” He lifted his gaze to catch Eugene’s eyes, “I missed you guys.”
Eugene looked conflicted. He looked like he felt sad for him, but at the same time he was still angry. He looked back down to Varian’s hands, cleaning the other one, “Varian, this isn’t that easy.”
Varian frowned, expression falling further, “I know… I know, it’s not. But I want to try… to make things better… If you just gave me a chance—”
“You kidnapped the Queen and tried to hurt not only her and the King but had no care for Rapunzel when you forced her to use a power she couldn’t use,” Eugene snapped, lifting his head again to glare, hand tightening over the back of Varian’s.
Varian flinched at how harsh Eugene’s voice sounded and expression appeared. Eugene noticed he looked frightened, and he winced when his hand was squeezed too hard. Eugene calmed himself down, loosening his grip on the boy’s smaller hand and focusing his attention back on cleaning it, “I’ll help you bandage these and then I’ll take you back to your room, okay?”
Varian visibly shrunk at that, but he nodded in understanding, “Okay…”
It was quiet then and Eugene finished cleaning up his hands, seeing the still slightly bleeding cuts on the boy’s palms and fingers. He must have fallen onto the broken shards of the vase he smashed. He grabbed the bandage roll he had grabbed earlier while Varian was having a breakdown and began to wrap his hands in them.
He quickly worked but he was also careful. He finished the first hand, cutting the bandage and tying it off securely before moving onto the next one. They both stayed silent the whole time, but there was a very obvious tension in the room. It was almost uncomfortable. Varian wanted to say something else but was too afraid to do so.
Eugene quickly and efficiently wrapped his hand up and when he was finished, he set aside the remaining bandage that remained unused aside, “Alright kid, let’s get you—”
He stopped when he saw wetness dropping onto bandaged hands, and when he pulled his gaze up, he saw Varian with his head bowed and tears falling down his face. He was trying to be quiet, and he had been trying to stop himself from crying, but he was failing incredibly in that endeavor.
“Varian?” Eugene said his name quietly, trying to catch his eyes.
Varian sniffled, clenching his now bandaged hands against his legs despite how sore they were, “I’m sorry, Eugene… I don’t know what else to say…”
Eugene sighed through his nose, hardening his expression. He sat back and stood up, crossing his arms and looking down at the kid. He looked so small. Was he always this small? He was a little taller actually, but other than that he looked thin and sick. But he was also in the midst of some sort of breakdown, so that wasn’t helping with how pale he looked.
Even in his current state though, Eugene stood his ground.
“Varian, I can’t forgive you that easily,” Eugene told him, motioning around with a finger, “Shedding a few tears and storming into my room isn’t going to cut it.”
Varian shook his head, looking up at Eugene with a pleading gaze, “Th-That’s not why I’m here! I didn’t mean to storm in, I just— I was trying to hide! They were chasing me!” He bowed his head again, lifting his hands to his hair and tugging on the black locks not harshly but not necessarily gentle either, “I’m trying not to cry… I’m sorry… I’ll stop…”
He was talking… weird. The Varian Eugene remembered wouldn’t apologize for crying, and he wouldn’t flinch away every time someone tried to touch him. Granted, the kid’s been through a lot, but even still…
Eugene stepped forward carefully, reaching out a hand and letting his fingers brush Varian’s upper arm gently. Varian immediately flinched away. Eugene retracted his hand as Varian snapped his head up to look at him with wide eyes full of fear. Eugene had dropped his hardened expression, looking at the kid with concern now, “Varian, what happened to your arm?”
Varian lifted a hand to grab at the arm Eugene had just touched, whether that be on purpose or subconsciously, Eugene couldn’t be sure. Varian was barely touching it, as if putting pressure on it hurt, “N-Nothing.”
That wasn’t very believable.
Eugene shuffled forward, reaching out his hand again but he stopped shortly before touching the kid again, waiting for permission. Varian looked at him with a fearful look, but he sighed and dropped his hand back into his lap, silently giving Eugene the go-ahead. So, he grabbed Varian’s wrist with one hand, lifting his arm and pushing his sleeve up carefully, revealing a rather bruised upper arm; it looked as if he’d been thrown into something.
“Varian, who—”
“Andrew,” He quickly ratted him out, “He was my cellmate in the dungeon, but this happened after we escaped. I wasn’t working fast enough apparently and when I got mouthy with him, he shoved me into the wall. I thought I broke my arm, but it’s just a bad bruise.”
Bad bruise? His arm was black and purple. How hard did Andrew shove him?
Eugene stared at the horrible mark, and he wondered if he had other injuries he wasn’t telling him about. He seemed to be getting around pretty well, but the kid had proved to be a pretty good liar.
“I’m gunna kill him…” Eugene muttered in his sudden anger.
Varian heard him, and it was surprising to see the protectiveness wash over him considering how angry he was at him right now. Varian gnawed on his lower lip, reaching his opposite hand over and grabbing onto Eugene’s wrist to get his attention off of Andrew and back to him.
“I’m really, truly sorry, Eugene,” He said to him, lifting his gaze to look into the taller’s eyes, wanting him to see that he was being genuine, “You don’t have to forgive me now or ever, but I want to be friends again. All I thought about for a year was getting to see you guys again and now that you’re all here…”
He trailed off briefly, but he shook his head to clear his head and continued.
“I know it’s hard to forgive me and asking to be friends again is asking a lot, and maybe I deserve to feel alone,” He bit harshly into his lip when he felt tears burning his eyes again before he went on, “But I don’t want to be alone! I know I’m selfish, but I can’t do this anymore! I’ll prove that I’ve changed and that I’m better, I swear! Just please… Don’t hate me…”
Eugene frowned. It hurts to listen and to watch this. He slumped his shoulders, and he shook his head, “Kid, I don’t hate you. I never hated you.”
Varian actually seemed surprised by that. He blinked his wide eyes, “Y-You don’t?”
Eugene forced a chuckle, “No, I don’t. Listen,” He let go of Varian’s arm, moving to sit on the bed beside him, “You broke my trust and threatened people I care about, and despite all of that I can’t bring myself to hate you. It’s almost hard for me to even be mad at you.”
“Really?” Varian questioned, tilting his head a little in curiosity, “Well… Why? I hurt people you love, I don’t—”
“I care about you, kid,” Eugene explained to him, and Varian went incredibly quiet, “When I watched the guards put you in that carriage… It was horrible. I didn’t want you to go to the dungeon, and when we left Corona, it was our understanding that you would be getting help, but… You didn’t, did you?”
Varian shook his head, looking down at his bandaged hands, “No… Nobody ever came to see me…”
Eugene frowned, “What you did… It wasn’t good. You did a bad thing, but you didn’t deserve what you got. You deserved better; you deserve better. You’re a good kid, you’ve just got a few screws loose, but we’ll help you put them back in place, alright?”
Varian was looking at him with anxiety and curiosity. He looked hopeful when he started to ask, “Does that mean…”
“I haven’t forgiven you, but I accept your apology,” Eugene said to him with a genuine yet tired smile; it conveyed what it needed to nonetheless.
Eugene really wasn’t expecting it when Varian rocketed himself into his side, wrapping his arms around him and whimpering at the pain in his injured side. He was hiding his face against him, and Eugene couldn’t help but smile. He returned the hug, his own hold gentle so as not to jostle the boy’s injured arm.
Varian felt safe here. Warm and protected. It’s the first time he’s felt like this in over a year. He cherished every second of this embrace.
Which just so happened not to last very long, because the door was suddenly being thrown open.
Varian yelped and held tight to Eugene, trying to hide behind him and peering towards the door with a startled expression, big blue eyes partially hidden by disheveled hair. Eugene looked towards the door, seeing two guards standing in the walkway, “Jeez, that’s a bit of a rude awakening. Ever tried knocking? It’s a real handy trick, you just—”
“There he is! We’ve been searching everywhere for him!” The guard shouted, pointing at Varian, “Eugene, are you alright?”
“I’m fine. What do you want?” He snapped, irritated.
“He threw a vase at me and was trying to escape! We were trying to—”
“Escape? He’s not a prisoner,” Eugene said to them, “All you’re doing is taunting a kid with some obvious PTSD symptoms. What I would suggest is leaving him alone.”
Both guards looked surprised by his words; they recognized that he seemed angry at Varian earlier, “But—”
Eugene wrapped an arm around Varian’s shoulders to try and calm him down, “We’re fine in here. He didn’t want to be alone, so he’s staying with me tonight.”
Varian peered up at Eugene at that, not expecting him to say that. The guards shuffled awkwardly, as if they weren’t comfortable leaving the kid alone with Eugene. Varian could see that, and he looked at the guard who he threw the vase at. He did feel bad about that. He pulled away from Eugene a little, trying to push his fear down.
“Are you okay…?” He said it quietly, but he was sure he was heard.
The guard looked at him, seeming startled, but he answered the question, “Y-Yes, I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry for throwing the vase,” Varian apologized genuinely, “I had a bad dream, and I woke up somewhere different than usual, so I was confused. When I left, I saw you guys and thought I was in trouble, so I panicked. I’m sorry… I hope you’re not hurt.”
The guard was taken aback by the apology, but he seemed genuinely touched by it. He relaxed, letting out a deep sigh of relief, “I’m not hurt. But you appear to be. There was a trail of blood that led us here. Are you alright?”
Varian smiled a little at him and nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine… I cut up my hands, but Eugene bandaged them.”
He lifted his hands wrapped in clean white bandages to show them as proof. Both guards nodded, “That’s good… Eugene, are you sure you’re alright?”
Eugene smiled at them tiredly and nodded, hand on Varian’s shoulder, “Yeah, I’m fine. We’re gunna try and get some rest now though, if you don’t mind.”
“Yes, of course. Sorry for the hassle,” He apologized before turning his attention to Varian, “Sorry to you too, son. I hope you rest better here.”
Varian smiled a little bigger at the well wish, “Thank you.”
The guards silently bid the two farewells before leaving the room and giving the two boys some peace. Eugene sighed a breath of relief, “Jeez, those guys always make everything such a big fuss.”
Varian chuckled, “I mean, I was recently considered a criminal and traitor to Corona, they have a right to be suspicious of me.”
“Still,” Eugene motioned to himself, “I’m Eugene Fitzherbert. I got this.”
Varian laughed a little, shoving him a little, but he quickly apologized thinking he’d gotten a little too comfortable, “Oh, um, s-sorry.”
Eugene just smiled at him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders again and pulling him into a hug. He put a hand in the kid’s hair and leaned his own head against Varian’s, “That’s enough apologizing out of you tonight, Goggles. You should get some sleep now.”
Goggles. He finally used one of his old nicknames on him. He’d been calling him kid or by his name all night, and Eugene rarely ever used his name, only in serious situations.
“Alright, come on,” Eugene pulled away from the hug, getting to his feet, “Sleepover time! Pretty boring sleepover since we’re just, well, sleeping, but technically still a sleepover.”
Varian got to his feet too, letting Eugene fix the blankets in the bed before he got in it, “I’ve never even had a sleepover before, so this will be the best sleepover in my book no matter what.”
Eugene raised an eyebrow, “What?! You’ve never had a sleepover?”
Varian yawned and shook his head, “No, the other kids in Old Corona always thought I was weird, so I was never invited to one…”
“Hm,” Eugene hummed, actually kind of surprised by that, “Well… I think you’re the coolest kid around.”
Varian chuckled, amused by that, “Thanks, Eugene.”
The kid looked like he could barely even stay upright, so Eugene patted the spot next to him, “Come on, hop in. You’re shivering.”
Varian blinked, “What? Are you sure? The floor looks comfy enough—”
“You’ve been in jail for a year, you are not sleeping on the floor. This bed is big enough for two grown adults, I would know, Lance has been in here with me before,” Eugene said, then he blushed and pointed a finger at Varian, “That didn’t come out right, that is not what I meant—”
Varian laughed suddenly, delirium setting in, but Eugene’s beet red face wasn’t helping with how hysterical this whole thing was. And Eugene’s face just burned darker the more Varian laughed, “Hey, c’mon. I’ll make you sleep on the floor for real if you keep this up.”
“No, no! Sorry!” Varian apologized fakely through laughter.
Eugene rolled his eyes. Varian was never going to drop this now. He prayed that he didn’t bring this up to Lance at any time in the future.
But in classic little brother fashion, Eugene knew he would.
“Just get in here already! I’m tired and would like to get at least a few hours of sleep!” Eugene demanded.
Varian chuckled and then cleared his throat to stop the laughter, “Alright, alright, fine.”
Varian shuffled forward, crawling under the blankets next to Eugene. Once he was laying down and under the blankets, he felt so much warmer and suddenly the exhaustion that’s been hanging over him became ten times as intense. Eugene shifted next to him, getting comfortable and Varian resisted the urge to lean closer.
“Comfy?” Eugene asked.
Varian nodded, gripping the edge of the blanket in his hands gently, “Mhm.”
Eugene peered down at the boy, seeing his eyelids falling heavy; he was barely keeping himself awake. Eugene had always had a soft spot for kids despite trying to play the tough guy back in the day, and since he’d known Varian, he’d taken him under his wing as a sort of younger brother figure. Varian liked to throw around the term ‘Team Awesome’ when talking about their friendship, which was sweet. Eugene was hoping he’d hear that term come up again here soon.
Eugene wrapped an arm around Varian’s shoulders, understanding the kid was probably still feeling on edge; he wanted to let him know he was here for him now. He wouldn’t be going anywhere this time.
“You okay?” Eugene asked after a minute of quiet.
Varian didn’t reply for a moment, and Eugene thought he might’ve fallen asleep, but then he answered, “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Your hands feel alright?” He asked directly after Varian answered his first question.
Varian shrugged a little, “They sting a little, but I’ll be fine.”
Eugene hummed, fingers drumming against the kid’s shoulder where his hand resided currently, “Are you sure you’re—”
“Eugene, I thought you wanted to sleep,” Varian cut him short.
“Oh. Yes. Right,” Eugene said in return, “Sorry.”
Varian snickered, “It’s okay. I’m just glad I’m out of the dungeon and back with my friends… I missed your obsessive concern.”
Eugene smirked, “Well, I missed your know-it-all attitude. I better hear you correcting me on your chemistry stuff soon.”
“It’s alchemy,” Varian corrected.
Eugene smiled, “There we go. Just like old times.”
Varian smiled too, and then he yawned and leaned his head against Eugene’s shoulder, “Hey Eugene?”
“Yeah, Goggles?” He hummed, beginning to fall asleep.
“Thank you for helping me tonight,” Varian’s voice was becoming slow and sluggish, words molding together with his sleepiness, “I’m glad you’re willing to try to forgive me…”
He trailed off, voice getting quieter towards the end there. Eugene peered down at him, seeing his eyes were closed now and his mouth slightly agape to show off his prominent tooth gap, his breathing finally even. He had fallen asleep.
Eugene smiled and closed his eyes as well, “No problem, kid. Anytime.”
His breathing slowed as well, and he fell asleep not long after.