Work Text:
Jess did not sign up for this, okay? "Just stay with her, Jess. I'll only be gone a few minutes," Luke had said. "I've just got to run to the market and get her some ice cream. I'll be gone five minutes, tops."
"Five minutes, tops, my ass," Jess mutters under his breath. It's been twenty minutes since Lorelai's startled shout of "Jess, get in here!" had rung out from the kitchen. He'd been slouched on the couch, intently reading a book -- you know, that moment when you're really in the zone and caught up in the fictional world the author had created, so caught up that your focus has narrowed to just the book and you blot everything out -- when she'd screamed, and he'd damn near jumped out of his skin.
She'd yelled for him again, and he'd yelled back, "Okay, okay!" before grumbling under his breath about the so-called joys of pregnancy and his uncle had better appreciate this. He'd bookmarked his spot and slid the book into his back pocket as he'd stood up, heading into the kitchen. He'd frozen in the doorway, eyes widening slightly, as he took in the puddle Lorelai was standing over and the growing wet spot on the bottom of her skirt.
"Uhhhh..." he'd said, vaguely grossed out. "What-"
"My water broke," Lorelai had said, a panicked note to her voice. "Where's Luke?"
Jess had merely blinked for a few seconds before tearing his gaze away from the floor and looking up at her. "Uh, he went to the store to get your ice-" He'd cut off, pursing his lips, as Lorelai had let out a string of curses that would make the saltiest sea pirate redden. "Um, he said he'd be back..."
Lorelai had frantically shook her head. "No time to wait, this baby is coming now," she'd hissed as she'd put her hand over her swollen belly. "Jess, you have to drive me to the hospital."
Jess' eyes had grown impossibly large at that, and he'd frantically shaken his head. "Whoa, hey, no," he'd said, taking a step back. "No way. I didn't sign on for this! I'm just supposed to- OW!" He'd let out a pained yelp as Lorelai's hand had suddenly latched onto his arm, nails digging into his bicep.
"Listen to me, Jess," she'd said in a low, just-barely-restrained, pissed-off sounding voice. "You are driving me to the hospital and calling Luke on the way. End of story."
The angry glare on her face had left little room for argument, and Jess had hastily helped her out to her car. Once she was safely strapped in, he'd jumped into the driver's seat and vroomed out of the driveway, bound for Stars Hollow Memorial Hospital.
He managed to leave a voicemail on Luke's phone, a short, terse "Get your ass to the hospital, Luke. Your kid is coming." Twenty minutes later, Jess is sitting in a hospital room with Lorelai, his eyes darting all around and looking everywhere but at her. They're waiting for her to dilate or the contractions to stop or something like that -- Jess was only half-listening when the nurse had given Lorelai a pep talk or whatever. He's trying his damnedest to remain untraumatized here.
The only time he does look at Lorelai is when she wearily informs him that "You'll have to come into the delivery room with me if Luke doesn't get here. No way I'm going this alone a second time."
He makes a face and starts to protest that he really doesn't think he's qualified for that, and Luke picks that exact moment to burst into the room, frantic and worried that he missed everything. Jess breathes a sigh of relief and makes a quick retreat, dropping into a seat beside a bemused Rory, who takes his hand, lacing their fingers together.
"We're never having kids, okay?" he says, looking vaguely sick, and Rory laughs.
"Agreed," she says, remembering the trauma of trying to help Sherry, her father's girlfriend, through her labor.