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Kenta was in their living room, diligently working on a new place for his bears. A miniature cottage setup, with a little garden, where they could bake and pick fruit. He said it had been too long since they last had a new place to live.
He still had his apartment in Nakameguro of course, but nowadays he was round at Oji’s place more and more. He would always go back at night, as there wasn’t a spare bed for him to sleep in with Oji’s nephew Masumi still living with him, but he spent enough time around during the daytime to have started a brand new project in Oji’s living room - a new miniature cottage. He’d moved one of his more sensitive houseplants in, as well - he needed to keep a closer eye on it than he was able to in his own place. It sat on the windowsill, a welcome touch of green in the space. Even when Kenta wasn’t there, Oji liked to see it, a reminder of Kenta’s presence. And when Kenta was there, bringing his straightforward love of the same cute things that Oji liked, practically vibrating with his passion for his projects and collectibles, Oji liked that even more.
Oji silently placed the freshly brewed tea where Kenta could reach it, and then sat on the couch behind him, watching him work, nursing his own cup.
Kenta was deep in concentration, using a ruler and small knife to meticulously cut some pieces of foam board into identical miniature bricks for the outside. He was bent so close to the material, his nose was practically touching the table. When he was finished with the set he was working on, he straightened up and looked back at Oji.
“It’s going to look amazing,” Oji said to him. “You’re working so hard, the bears will love it!”
And Kenta’s face softened with genuine happiness, melting at the compliment. To cover up his pleased expression, he took the cup and had a sip, and then gave a pleased hum at the taste.
“Just how I like it,” he said, and then got a twinge in his neck. “Oh!”
Oji only hesitated a moment - he was still unlearning all his hangups, all the things that had always held him back - before he reached out to rub and soothe the irritated muscles in Kenta’s neck with his thumbs. It was only because Kenta was so keen - he held himself so stiffly in contorted positions, trying to get the parts just right. Kenta leant gratefully into the touch, and grunted lightly as Oji’s fingers relieved the knotted muscle.
“Sorry,” Kenta said.
“There’s nothing to apologise for,” Oji responded, lingering a little before realising that he’d been touching him too long. He pulled his hands back, cast around for a moment, and then patted the space next to him on the couch. “Come up here, relax for a moment. You’re too tense.”
Kenta laughed in agreement, before obeying.
“Yeah,” he said, and his eyes lit up. “I can’t help it. It’s just so exciting, seeing it all start to come together again. It’s been so long since I’ve felt… comfortable enough to give them some extra space. I always needed to hide it, before. To keep it as something that was easy to hide. Now… I have so many new techniques to explore, so many new ideas. I found a tutorial online about how to make the perfect brick-textured paint, and I can dip these pieces in that and lay them, just like real bricks. Oh, and I had a great idea today - what if I make them a working swing on one of the fruit trees? Wouldn’t that be cute? Ah! ”
His hand went to his neck again, but Oji was faster. He couldn’t help his fond smile as he cupped the back of his friend’s neck and massaged away the tension with one hand.
Kenta was looking back at him, just trusting him to do it.
“You have warm hands, Oji-kun,” Kenta said. The warmth was inside Oji, too. It was because of this man in front of him that he could even feel so comfortable.
Oji opened his mouth to thank him, but then-
“I’m home!” Masumi called from the doorway, breaking the moment.
Oji’s hand fell away from Kenta’s neck, on instinct.
“Welcome home,” he called, and Masumi came straight over to see the progress on the cottage, coming to kneel beside it and having a look.
“What are these, Uncle Kenta?” he asked, pointing at the pile of identical foam board rectangles.
Kenta grinned, and joined him on the floor next to his creation, ready to explain to a fascinated Masumi about the bricks. Oji just looked at them both and felt his heart swell. To see two people he loved this much, just honestly connecting in this way… well, he never could have dreamed he’d be this lucky. So many years of shame and hiding, and it still felt strange that he could be here, surrounded by all his treasured Pugtaro things out in the open, with people that listened when he talked about it and supported him with the things he loved so much. No pain. Only joy.
He felt almost like crying.
Rain started to patter against the windows, softly at first, but swiftly harder and harder until it was clear that there was a full-blown storm outside. They all stopped and listened as the first roll of thunder broke.
“You did well to get home when you did, Masumi-kun,” Kenta observed.
“You shouldn’t go out in that either,” Masumi said. “Uncle, can’t he stay the night?”
It was late already. It was clearly the right thing to do. But still, Oji hesitated, not sure if he could really extend the invitation. Kenta would have to share his bed, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t that seem… strange?
Kenta saw his hesitation, and as always, stepped in with his smoothing-over smile.
“I wouldn’t want to impose myself,” he assured Masumi. “But thank you for thinking of me. I’m tough, I can survive a little rain.”
Lightning flashed, right outside the window. Masumi jumped, and then looked back at Kenta, concerned.
Oji came to a resolution within his mind.
“You’re never an imposition,” he said. “I have a double bed, and spare pyjamas. Please sleep here.”
Kenta looked at him for a moment to check that he was sure, and once reassured, he beamed.
“OK. That means I can stay up late to work on the cottage!”
----
Oji stood by his wardrobe, hesitating.
He had two choices - he could either wear normal pyjamas, very sensible, plain blue and conservative, or… his Pugtaro onesie was also an option. He pictured the bright yellow fabric and the cute face on the hood, looking back at him.
It wasn’t that he wore the Pugtaro onesie every night - far from it, in fact. He didn’t want to damage it too much from over-washing, so he mostly wouldn’t sleep a whole night in it, just try it on every now and then. Besides, he knew how ridiculous he looked in it, as a middle-aged man, ugly and not fitting with the image of someone with a Pugtaro onesie at all. However, if Kenta was staying… he kind of wanted that radical statement. Something he would never feel comfortable wearing in front of anyone else. Just to get that confirmation that Kenta accepted him. It was addictive.
He spent entirely too long worrying at the implications of it, and suddenly startled back into awareness, not knowing how long he’d really been standing there, paralysed with a strange mix of anxiety and longing.
Inwardly trembling, he took the onesie off its hanger, and pulled it over his body, closing his eyes against the image in the mirror.
----
It wasn’t until much later that Kenta came in, being as quiet as possible to not disturb what he thought was a sleeping Oji. He took the pyjamas that had been left out for him, and changed swiftly with his back turned. He then crept up to the bed, and Oji heard his footsteps stop just short of it.
Oji had his eyes screwed shut, but his heart was pounding so fast from nerves. Was this too far? Was Kenta looking at him thinking he looked like a sad, creepy old man at last? He let his eyes open, looking up at Kenta in fear.
But Kenta was looking back at him with the same expression he reserved for the cute things he liked, that intense captivation, a slight smile on his face. Somehow that made Oji’s heart beat even faster.
"It was a limited edition item," Oji said rapidly, trying to quell his nerves. "Pugtaro with Sleepies Bed Company, made from 3-layered fuzzy cotton for extra padding… it's really soft and comforting. I pre-ordered it 5 months before the release date." Kenta was still looking at him, the way he always did when Oji needed to gush about things, just absorbing what he was saying, except this time… he didn't seem to be responding as usual. Oh no. This was weird, right? Oji had made a mistake wearing this, right?
Oji gulped nervously.
"Wh-what… do you think?" he asked Kenta.
“You look… so adorable ,” he replied, emphatically.
“Really?” Oji squeaked.
“Yes, really,” he said. “I’ve never seen you in that. It suits you so well, it’s like it was made for you.” He lifted the duvet and slipped into the bed next to him, reaching out to touch the ears on the hood, flicking them gently.
Oji wanted to hide his face, all of a sudden.
“You don’t…” he gulped, “you don’t, um, think I make it look bad?”
Kenta stopped.
“Never,” he said, meaning it. “Hey. Look at me.”
Oji was still burying his face in his hands. Kenta reached out to pull them away, and that somehow resulted in a very juvenile scuffle, with Kenta trying to pull his hands away and Oji trying to keep them in front of his face.
“I said look at me!”
“No!”
When with a sudden effort, Kenta pinned his wrists either side of his head with his hands and just looked. With no barriers, he just looked at Oji in the Pugtaro onesie.
“There,” Kenta said, satisfied. “Now I can look at you.”
Oji’s mouth was dry. His heart was beating hard from fear of judgement, more vulnerable than being naked, feeling the fuzzy yellow fabric wrapped around him. He looked up at his friend, hovering above him in the semi-darkness. Kenta’s eyes were searching his face. Neither spoke for a few moments.
“Cute,” he repeated, in an almost-whisper, just for Oji’s ears to hear. “You’re so cute. Even from the moment I first saw you celebrate when you won that rare Pugtaro, I couldn’t help but think that. You’re cute. You always have been.”
Tears sprang unbidden to Oji’s eyes, and all of sudden, they were hugging, clinging onto each other as Oji cried and Kenta shushed him and rubbed his back.
They weren’t sad tears. He was feeling overwhelmed, because his heart was so full with love for this person who had come into his life and totally changed everything, while at the same time changing nothing at all. Oji didn’t need to be someone else around him. He could just be , and that was something he’d come so close to forgetting how to do, for years and years.
This gift was beyond comprehension. Still, Kenta needed to know how he felt, that these weren’t sad tears. That what he’d said was OK, that he didn’t need to worry.
“I’m just happy,” Oji explained, sniffling. “So, so happy.”
“Me too,” Kenta said, sounding a little overwhelmed himself. “I’m so blessed to have found you. My cute Oji-kun.”
“Thank you for finding me,” said Oji. “Thank you for persevering, and showing me how I could feel this way. I’m the one who’s blessed. Thank you.”
“Thank you,” Kenta echoed.
----
They woke up the next morning in a tangle of limbs. Oji’s eyes slid open to find that Kenta was already awake, and on his phone in the bed next to him.
“Mm, good morning,” Oji said, wiping sleep from his eyes.
Kenta looked down at him, and gave him a soft smile.
“Good morning,” he said. “I was online shopping. What do you think about this?”
He held the phone in front of Oji’s face, and Oji blearily took it. He saw a listing for a onesie of one of the bear characters Kenta especially liked, and couldn’t help the fond smile that twisted his features as he handed it back to Kenta.
“I think it looks good,” Oji said.
“It’s because you look so cute in yours,” Kenta said. “It made me think… maybe I could look cute, too?”
He said it nonchalantly, as if he didn’t care, but Oji saw the telltale signs of anxiety as he said it, that familiar reflex of waiting for rejection. Oji flung an arm around him, squeezing his shoulders and pressing their foreheads together, wriggling into position so he could also see the phone screen.
“I think you’d look very cute in it,” he assured him. “Are you going to buy it?”
He saw Kenta’s finger hover over the button, fighting with himself a little. Kenta looked up at him.
“If I buy this…” He said, and then cleared his throat, fidgeting with Oji's onesie material. “I was wondering… if I buy this… could I keep it here?”
Oji’s mind raced at the question. Undoubtedly, he’d loved having Kenta here overnight. It was a very meaningful experience for him, and he definitely loved being so close to him all night. Also, he knew that Kenta was still careful about how much he kept back at his own apartment.
But he was worried about agreeing, as then of course it meant that Kenta would have his own pyjamas at his house, and planned to sleep over more often. Maybe even when he didn’t need to. What would people think? What would his nephew think? Wouldn’t it seem weird?
He looked up at Kenta’s face, and saw reflected back at him so many familiar emotions. He imagined Kenta in the onesie. He imagined doing for Kenta what Kenta had done for him last night, and realised that he wanted to do that. He would look so cute, and Oji wanted to tell him that, to tell him over and over again until these stupid fears were chased away.
He wanted Kenta here. Him, and his models, and his houseplants, and his unconditional companionship. They just fit together. There was no better way to explain it, and Oji needed to stop fighting that and just embrace it. Kenta felt like he belonged here.
“Yes, OK,” Oji nodded. “We can wear them together.”
Kenta’s excited grin was worth it, and he pressed the button to buy it.