Chapter Text
Every single pair of brown eyes Iwaizumi looked into afterwards were dulled in comparison. In comparison to how Oikawa's were so bright, so joyful and light. The perfect blend of hazel and almond. Even how they were teary that night.
Now, at the ripe age of twenty five, Iwaizumi can say that he's looked into a lot of brown eyes in his life. Oikawa's were always his favourite.
"I'm sorry Hajime."
The little specks of light brown that usually shone in his eyes were nowhere to be seen, Iwaizumi had found comfort in them, with them gone his safety net was ripped away from under his feet.
"I just think...it would be better if..."
The way the brown blended into the black of his pupils, an oak that Iwaizumi could find himself lost in for hours on end. Oikawa loved eye contact in a conversation, Iwaizumi loved it in the silence, but yet he could listen to Oikawa talk for days if it meant staring into those brown orbs.
"we broke up."
The whites of his eyes were reddened with tears, the brown dulled. Iwaizumi wonders what went wrong. This brown was cold, unwelcoming, unfamiliar. It made Iwaizumi's guts twist and turn, his chest turning and his throat burning with the need to sob but not wanting to be so vulnerable.
he had asked why.
"I just think, right now, we're a bit too young for this."
But Iwaizumi thought they were grown now. He had spent years longingly gazing into those amber eyes as a teen, he thought they were too young then, he had waited. He loved how Oikawa's eyes shone at twenty years old when he finally confessed.
"I still love you but..."
When he uttered those words, Iwaizumi saw a transparent white glisten over the brown, unushered tears in Oikawa's eyes, blocking out the brown, making his heart ache.
"Maybe when we're older."
When they were older, would Oikawa's eyes still be the same shade of brown? would they hold the same glimmering shade of cedar there or would it turn to Hickory in heartbreak?
Iwaizumi didn't want to find out, he decided right there and then that Hickory was a shade he hated, he cursed his mother for the Hickory floorboards in their kitchen, he cursed himself for the hickory table sitting in his apartment living room. In their apartment living room.
Iwaizumi had let himself cry then, wondering what shades Oikawa saw in his eyes, wondering if he too was sad that the tears covered them up.
"Hajime..."
Oikawa had managed to stop his tears, his eyes displaying an umber shade, dull and cold and heart breaking.
"Please don't cry,"
Cinnamon seeped in, his eyes lightening at his next words, Iwaizumi sadly loved the way his eyes would shift to copper with the evening lights cascading into their apartment window.
"We'll meet again eventually."
But would the brown be different? would it be worse if it was duller with pain or lighter with a new found love? Would it be chocolate or peanut?
"When we're older."
He'd never look anyone in the eyes again, he didn't want to see any other shade of brown until they met again. He didn't care for any other glimmering tawny or any other specks of mocha. It wouldn't be the same, wouldn't be as endearing, beckoning, wouldn't be as perfect.
Iwaizumi wondered if his eyes were as alluring, as enchanting. If they were enough to make a heart swell, to make his heart swell. He wondered about all the different shades of green that Oikawa was subjected to everyday. Basil, pine, Sacramento. Could you sink into them as much as you could with carob, syrup and pecan?
Yeah, he agreed, When we're older.
When we're older.
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