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But what if it’s too much?
What if Dazai is going to think Chuuya is being childish? Again?
When he was getting ready back at home, it seemed like a nice idea, a fun one and maybe like something Dazai would appreciate, but now that the redhead looks at his reflection in the elevator’s mirror…
Is it really okay?
It’s not a costume but he is dressed up in something he wouldn’t normally wear and he even did his makeup a bit more than usual.
Truthfully, Chuuya does think black looks good on him, Dazai said so many times already, but the clothes he picked now seem like an awkward combination of a going-out-clubbing outfit and a low budget Halloween costume.
The rips in his black jeans have a red lace inserted underneath and, in the heights of his imagination, Chuuya thought it would look like blood because why not? He also found his old, cut in random places, big blouse he once used as a ghost costume and decided it would match the lace if he wore a tight, red shirt underneath.
Halloween vibes.
Right??
And then he found a pair of black lace gloves, a matching choker and cat-ears clips that looked too cute not to buy, so the result is that…
He’s going to die from embarrassment.
He’ll combust before even reaching the door to Dazai’s apartment. Which is yet another thing making his head spin:
Dazai’s. Apartment.
Chuuya is going to visit Dazai. At home .
They’ve been on a few dates already, they’re officially dating now, but today is the first time the redhead is going to see how his, oh god, how his boyfriend is living. They made plans to watch some Halloween movies, eat snacks (Chuuya baked pumpkin shaped cookies for this very occasion) and…
Well, enjoy their date .
Because this is a date --
“Nghh--!” He hides his face in his hands, careful not to ruin his makeup, and pretends he didn’t see the angry blush blooming on his cheeks in the mirror. It’s not their first date, he doesn't need to feel awkward just from thinking about it, he’s an adult . A taken adult and--
Ping .
The doors behind him open up and Chuuya is about to start panicking because is he here yet ? Does he need to go out already? Does he need to face Dazai now?
“Oh.” Instead, he sees an older lady looking at him with surprise in her eyes. “Hello.”
The redhead looks back at her, then at the buttons to her right, then at the floor number hanging on the wall behind her:
Floor 0.
“I--” He can feel his face burning up at the realisation. So that’s why the ‘ride’ took so long “H-hi. I’m--”
--stupid and didn’t press the button .
The woman only smiles and nods at him politely before pressing the button to the second floor and standing next to Chuuya who very much wishes he could disappear. The ride is quick and spent in silence, and when the door opens again, the lady steps out, looking back at him with a visible question in her eyes.
But he’s…?
Oh.
Oh, right. He’s stupid .
“I--I’m not here.” He starts blabbering, frantically hoovering with his hand over the buttons. “I mean, not this floor--”
Closing doors are a blessing because he’s clearly making a fool out of himself already. At least now there is no one there to witness Chuuya losing his mind over his outfit and the fact that the lift is quickly approaching the top floor, where his doom awaits.
The hallway feels similar to a very fancy hotel the redhead would never visit on his own and, eventually, he arrives at the right door - Dazai’s door - now he only needs to knock .
Which is easy. Surely.
Why would it be anything other than easy?
Of course, Chuuya’s body has a very different opinion about this and it’s refusing to move. He’s on time, exactly on time, but is it okay? Maybe Dazai expected him to arrive a bit later? Is it a thing people do? And, once again, what about his clothes? Too much? Too childish? Too not-like-him??
(On the other side of the door, Dazai is already leaning against the wall. He predicted his little boyfriend would arrive on time, if not way before, and would most likely have another crisis before actually announcing himself.
And he was right.
It’s faint, but the brunette still hears quiet mumbling from the other side that makes his lips curl up. He can’t laugh, he needs to stay as quiet as possible if he doesn’t want Chuuya to notice him but…
It’s so adorable.
They’ve been going out for over a month already and he’s still this cute every time they take another step forward.
Or when they do the thing they already did before, like talking , but it only makes Dazai’s heart fill with warmth every time.)
“Okay…” Chuuya takes a deep breath, his hand has been up in the air, ready to knock for at least a minute now. “This is okay, this is nothing, everything's fine--”
Knock knock .
Oh god, he did it, he knocked at Dazai’s door and he’s about to go inside --
Wait.
Why are the doors opening so quickly?!
“Hi, Chuu…” (Dazai’s eyes look over his outfit, his smile turning more teasing than he initially planned.) “... nya? ”
Oh god, oh no, he knew it would be too much.
Now he’s just not sure what is more lethal: the heat on his face, the pounding of his heart or these eyes staring at him with amused sparkles dancing in them, right above the smirk that screams how much Dazai is enjoying this. Which is better than him not liking it, but doesn’t make it easier for Chuuya to think .
“I…” He tries to force his own voice out, staying focused proves to be too hard at the moment. “I’m here…”
Again. A fool.
But Dazai only chuckles lightly. “I can see that.” He keeps the door open with his body, head leaning against the hard surface. “And you look lovely .”
The compliment makes Chuuya’s mind go crazy because, god, it worked , Dazai likes his outfit, he said it’s lovely and that’s everything for him. His hands are playing with the hem of his blouse as he lowers his head to at least try and hide the blush on his cheeks, and that’s when he notices…
Dazai is also dressed up.
Not as much as Chuuya, but still .
It looks like a very subtle vampire costume, with a victorian-style white shirt under a black cape the redhead has never seen before, and it has no right to look this good and casual on Dazai. The man could probably go out on a normal day like this and no one would question it because god --
He looks so handsome, and he did his hair too .
Lost in the sight before him, Chuuya forgets everything else because nothing matters right now, not until he hears the brunette’s playful voice:
“Are you coming in or…” And he must be holding back laughter. “...is it just a trick-or-treat thing? Because if it is , the sight is definitely a treat for me . ”
(Maybe he’s a bit more teasing than normally, but the flustered expression with these cat ears and the pretty makeup is something Dazai cannot ignore. He knew Chuuya would do something for the night and so, to make it easier for the redhead, he also came up with a quick and subtle outfit.
Because he’s so nice , and not mean at all .
But imagining Chuuya dressing up for their date was one thing - seeing him in person is a completely different experience. Overall it’s leaning more towards the sexy spectrum but…
This blush?
The way he averts his eyes after staring at him a bit longer?
Dazai planned for today to be easy, it being Chuuya’s first time here, but he’s only a man - a man who can’t stop himself from smiling. )
“I’ll go in…” The redhead mumbles, embarrassment stealing his voice, and comes inside. He doesn’t dare look up, not when he knows he’ll be met with dark eyes staring right into his soul , instead Chuuya quietly takes off his shoes and prays for his mind to clear.
Too bad he’s always out of luck.
“Well then.” Dazai muses right next to him, slender fingers gently pushing Chuuya’s chin up until he has to look at him and--
“Welcome~”
--oh god, he’s kissing him. A simple peck on the lips but that’s still a kiss .
Not their first, that was a while ago, but it makes the redhead’s heart skip every time , no matter how many dates they go on or how many touches they share. Usually, he tries to be more responsive, but Dazai caught him off guard and now Chuuya is stuck with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, unable to even breath .
(And Dazai is loving the sight all the more.)
“Come one, I got that movie you mentioned.”
Oh, Chuuya is not getting through this night with a clear mind…
Dazai’s house, however, is more or less the way the redhead imagined - lots of space, modern furniture and many books and papers that would probably be scattered all around the apartment if Chuuya didn’t come over. There is only one thing he notices that makes him stop and just stare .
And then panic .
“Y-you…” He tries to form a coherent sentence, but his thoughts are racing too fast to focus on just one question. “This? You have…?”
“Hmm?” Dazai is already by the couch and turning the TV on when he looks over his shoulder to see what is making Chuuya speechless this time and…
(Well, it was to be expected .)
“ Oh. ” He grins as he kneels on the couch to keep facing Chuuya while sitting down. “I thought it’s too nice of a photo to keep it just on my phone.”
And the redhead recognizes the photo, he remembers how nervous he was about it when Dazai asked to take it. It’s from their second time at the cat cafe: they're both sitting on the floor, Chuuya holding up Baki and Dazai leaning against him . He knew the brunette had it on his phone, but…
He printed and framed it?
Dazai has Chuuya’s photo on full display in his apartment?
His heart is about to give up on him at any point right now.
“R-right.” It’s the only reaction the redhead is capable of as he forces his frigid body to move away from the wall and to the couch.
There is a small table in front of it, full of all kinds of snacks - Chuuya’s cookies included - and the sight of some of his favourites makes his mouth water. The movie is all ready to play on the TV, so now the only problem is:
Just where is he supposed to sit?
On the couch, obviously, but how close to Dazai would be acceptable? How close would be too close? Is there a rule about this? One that’s not from his fics?
“Chuuya?” Dazai’s voice reaches him from the couch.
“Yeah?” He didn’t even notice he’s been staring at the couch for that long, but the other man doesn’t laugh at him.
“Come on.” Dazai only stretches his hand to Chuuya with a gente smile on his face and there’s no way the redhead wouldn’t take it. “Just sit here.” He makes the other man come closer and sit down, they’re legs almost touching. “This okay?”
Yes, god, they’re so close--
“Yep.” His answer is fast because he needs to say something and his mind is not in the right state to elaborate. “Perfect.”
Now, if only he can stay focused on the movie and not on every little move of Dazai’s body next to him,that would be fantastic . Of course, it’s only wishful thinking in this situation.
(Dazai is only partially focusing on the movie - it’s quite good actually - because a big part of his mind is occupied with the shy, little redhead fidgeting next to him, clearly wishing to come closer.
It’s something Chuuya used to do a lot in the beginning, trying to suppress his desire to reach out to him, or simply not knowing how to ask for it.
Which is cute , but it was still a relief when the redhead learnt to be more forward recently. When he started being more open and trusting towards him. But now, Dazai supposes, it may be a bit too overwhelming.
It’s Chuuya’s first time here.
And, remembering their first meeting again, Dazai understands .
So, without thinking too much of it, he wraps a hand over the smaller man’s frame and pulls him closer until Chuuya’s head is resting in his chest, and the smell of his shampoo fills Dazai’s lungs.)
Suddenly, Chuuya is very glad for all the self-control exercises he’s been doing for the last month because without them he’d be gone right now.
There’s so much going on at once.
He’s in Dazai’s apartment, sitting on his couch while the man has his arm around him , and is letting him lean against him. And it was Dazai who reached out first.
God , it’s so warm.
Is this heaven? Can he stay like this forever ?
How many movies do they have? Will they last for the whole night? Chuuya needs it.
The scenes in front of his eyes and the sounds coming from the TV are like a 2-hour-long blur, but the redhead doesn't mind. He’s seen this move before, a long time ago, and even if he was excited to show it to Dazai - he has his priorities.
Which is the hand tracing slow circles on Chuuya’s arm.
And the hot breath in his hair.
And the body he’s pressing into.
It’s not even the first time they’re this close, they’ve already had some makeout sessions (nothing too crazy, because Chuuya’s heart is very fragile about all the embarrassing stuff), but it gets him every time.
The fact that he can have this, that he can feel this way and not just imagine it…
“Chibi?”
...and that he can have Dazai call him--
Huh?
“Huh?” He comes back to reality, eyes blinking and confused when they see the black screen. “Me? Yes?”
Oh, the eloquence of an engineering major…
Dazai chuckles at the response before repeating his question. “I asked if you wanted to take a break between the movies or not?”
A break? Is it finished already ?
“I…”
Well, now Chuuya has a dilemma: if he says they don’t need a break, Dazai will have to get up and change the movie because the redhead only proposed very old ones and they’re not available online, which means letting go of him. So, not a very good option.
Or he can ask for a break and hope the burnette won’t move away - the preferable solution - but if he does, then Chuuya will probably end up clinging to him in desperation like an overeager puppy…
So, a terrible opton. Again.
He really should have thought it through better.
“I… em… sure?”
(Is the response making Dazai want to laugh out? Yes. But is the way Chuuya’s hand keeps holding onto his shirt unbelievably adorable and worth everything in this world?
Also yes.)
“Sure...?” He repeats after him, his voice trembling with suppressed laughter and it makes Chuuya want to hide. Answering a simple question is not supposed to be this hard!
“I mean.” He clears his throat and takes a deep breath to calm himself and--
Oh my god, is Dazia wearing cologne ? This is not helping.
“Sure, we can…” The best option would be… “take a break?”
The brunette hums into his hair in agreement, not even trying to move away - on the contrary, his other arm also wraps around Chuuya in a gentle embrace. His touches are featherlike, but they still send electricity down the redhead’s body.
He’s working on getting used to this, he will get used to it one day.
After all, Dazai is so patient with him, his presence is so reassuring and--
“And what kind of a break does Chibi want?”
--scratch that. This man’s words should be illegal .
He is doing this on purpose because he knows Chuuya is about to combust and he enjoys teasing him. Frankly, the younger man doesn’t hate it, far from that, but it doesn’t mean his heart can play this game and not jump out of his chest.
Is that even physically possible? Because Chuuya is pretty sure that for him it would be .
“W…” He’s pretty sure he knows what Dazai is asking about, but his mind needs to make sure. And, preferably, not be the one to actually say it. “What options do I have?”
“Well~” Oh god, he is going to make it difficult, isn’t he? “There’s a toilet break.”
Meaning: needs moving away.
Meaning : hard no.
“There’s a snack and drinks break.”
Also requires letting go, so another pass.
“And there’s a fun break.”
Okay, there it is, now Chuuya only needs to breathe and stay calm and not pass out on top of Dazai just because he insinuated they could do something more entertaining than just sit around.
Easy. Very easy.
Also very fucking hard when Chuuya’s mind is about to explode with ideas . Why did he have to post that spicy, vampire fic for Halloween? Why did he have to write it?
Remembering it now , while Dazai is kind of dressed as a vampire, is not helping.
“Chibi?”
“Yes.” He blurts out without thinking, his mind still occupied with too many scenarios playing out at once. “Sure. Break. Fun.”
He’s only lucid enough to thank every deity there is that he’s still leaning against Dazai’s chest so the other can’t see his face right now - how flustered it is and how his eyes keep looking around for anything to focus on.
“As you wish~”
(As much as Dazai did enjoy teasing the redhead, he knows the real fun is still waiting for him. He won’t push, he’ll be patient and caring --
But he really wants to see Chuuya’s face right now.
He wants to take in all of him - the blush, the freckles, the endless skies shining with so much life. Holding him in his arms is like holding the most important part of his life, but it also hides Chuuya from his gaze.
And that needs to change.
Fortunately, there is a perfect solution~)
When one of Dazai’s hands slips from Chuuay’s arm,the redhead forces the whine down his throat - he will not sound desperate, not any more than he already does anyway - but then something that makes his mind go completely blank happens.
Dazai’s hand.
On his thigh.
Pulling him closer.
“Come here then~” He doesn’t even need to say it, Chuuya’s body follows the instructions on its own - there’s not a single coherent thought left in his mind. It’s a rumbling mess of ‘oh god, oh no, oh yes, oh my god ’--
And then Chuuya is sitting on Dazai’s lap .
With his hands on the man’s chest and wide eyes staring at the satisfied expression on the brunette’s face, and there are arms around his waist .
That’s it.
Chuuys is gone .
“You still with me, Chibi?”
He is, but he’s not, but at least he can hear Dazai’s voice through the fire going on in his mind and the blood ringing in his ears, so that’s good enough.
That’s progress .
“Mhm.” The redhead only manages a very awkward, confirming sound because using actual words is too hard, especially right now, especially in this position.
Dazai chuckles at the response, but it’s not pure teasing - his expression is soft, full of affection. “Are you sure ?”
Yes. No. Yes?
God, he’s a writer , he should know how to speak --
“Y-yeah.” The hands on his waist are both soothing and very distracting but, with a bit of time, Chuuya finds his voice again. “I’m sure.”
A month ago, this much would be more than enough to have him see black again, but present Chuuya has already had some practice and time to get used to these situations. Obviously, he’s not quite there yet, but he can stay awake and that’s a huge step for him.
And for his heart that would not be able to take the embarrassment this many times in a row.
Besides, being this close to Dazai may be nerve-racking but it’s also... the best feeling Chuuya could ever ask for. His gentle yet straightforward touches, his teasing smirk and eyes full of tenderness, how warm he feels whenever the brunette closes the space between them.
It’s perfect.
Probably much more than he deserves but he’ll always take it.
“Hmm, so my trick worked, then…” Dazai leans a bit closer, his eyes getting darker and Chuuya’s heart starting to pound . “...can I have my treat now?”
Oh god.
Yes, please .
Of course, now is the perfect moment to forget what words are again, forget about anything other than Dazai and how close his boyfriend’s face is to his own. But at least Chuuya has enough control left to nod .
(And after knowing the redhead for over a month, Dazai knows it’s enough.)
The brunette leans closer, closer, closer--
And Chuuya’s eyes finally fall shut when their lips meet.
This is the best Halloween he’s ever had.
(The best one for them both .)