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When Jack was invited for dinner “with me and the missus” by his commander he didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the asset greeting him at the door.
“Come in”, the asset says, and moves aside to let him in.
The door closes behind him. The asset is standing to the side, blankly staring ahead.
“Rollins, glad you could make it!” Rumlow walks forward and drags Jack into a one armed hug. When he steps back, Jack lifts up a bottle of whiskey he’s brought with him. A good and expensive one, perfect to get into commander’s good graces.
“This is for you, sir.” He says, while Rumlow checks the bottle and makes a low, impressed whistle. He lifts the flowers he brought in the other hand and says “And these are for your…”, just as Rumlow hands the bottle to the asset and says “Take it to the kitchen, honey.”
Oh. So there’s no wife.
Rumlow must think his expression is funny, cause he starts laughing and claps him on the back a bit too hard.
“Yeah, you got it, it’s just me and the asset here. Come on, let’s sit.” He says, grabbing Jack by the shoulder and leading him to living room.
Soon after the asset returns with two plates and gently places them on the table. He moves to return to the kitchen, but Rumlow’s hand on his wrist stops him.
“Look, honey.” He says lightly. “Our guest brought you flowers. What a gentleman, right?”
Rumlow nods at him, so Jack awkwardly thrusts the flowers at the asset. The asset takes them and then returns to staring ahead.
Rumlow tightens his grip on the asset's wrist. “Say ‘thank you’”.
“Thank you.” the asset repeats mechanically.
“Good boy.” Rumlow releases his wrist and gently pats it. “Now go and put them in a vase or something. Don’t forget to pour in water first.” The asset nods once and leaves.
“It really is nice to have someone to come home to.” Rumlow says to Jack. He must sense Jack’s question, so he elaborates. “They let me keep him between the missions as a reward for a job well done. Working for Hydra really has its perks, let me tell you.”
“So, did he, uh, cook this?” Jack asks, pointing to his plate.
“Nah, he’s too stupid for that. I ordered it earlier, he just plates it.”
They eat in relative silence. The food is barely passable, but Jack tries to focus on it to ignore the wrongness of the situation.
When they finish, Rumlow relaxes in his chair and calls out to the asset “You can take the plates now, honey.”
So. The commander programmed the world’s deadliest assassin to act like a 50s housewife.
After the asset collects the plates and turns, Rumlow slaps him on the ass. The asset jumps slightly, but otherwise doesn’t react, and walks back into the kitchen. Rumlow laughs and shouts after him “And bring the bottle and two glasses!”
Rumlow gets up, walks to the cupboard and comes back with an ashtray. The asset puts the bottle and two glasses on the table and then stands to the side. Rumlow pours them both a double and then turns to Jack. “But really, he is the perfect housewife. Doesn’t bitch, doesn’t nag, just does what he’s told. Isn’t that right, honey?” the asset just looks at him blankly. Rumlow laughs. “Sure, he’s dumb, but I don’t need him for the brain, you know?”
Rumlow lights a cigarette. “They fry his brain a lot, so he’s not exactly a genius, but he can follow simple orders. Most of the time I only say three things to him, anyway: ‘lie back, spread your legs, and hold still.” He laughs and downs his drink. Next to him, Jack thinks he can see the asset flinch slightly, but when he turns to look, the asset is blankly staring ahead.
Jack feels a little sick. Something must show on his face, cause Rumlow’s eyes narrow suspiciously.
“Something you wanna say?”
Jack swallows. “No, sir.” He replies quickly. Rumlow’s faux-relaxed demeanor suddenly feels dangerous.
Rumlow shakes his head, as if disappointed. “Look, Jack, can I call you Jack? I appreciate your work, I do, but it would do you well to remember who’s in charge here.” He says, voice still light and friendly, but his eyes carry an implicit threat. “You are a promising member of the team, and that is why I invited you here today, but I don’t appreciate the judgement I’m sensing here.” Jack feels a bead of fear-sweat slide on the side of his neck.
Rumlow turns to the asset.
“Soldier, say you like being with me.”
“I like being with you.” the asset repeats in a monotone voice.
“See?” Rumlow grins at Jack, but it’s certainly not friendly .”No issue here.”
He takes one last drag, takes the asset’s hand and holds the still-lit cigarette by the back of it, almost but not quite touching.
Jack can see the slightest tremor in the asset’s hand, but looks back at Rumlow. Rumlow is staring at him with a nasty expression on his face, as if daring him to object. Jack stares back and stays quiet. Eventually Rumlow laughs, releases the asset’s hand and puts the cigarette out in the ashtray.
“Hey, wanna see how nice it is to have him here?”
Jack nods, not trusting his voice just yet.
“Usually I come back after a shitty day, and say ‘honey, I’m home!” He chuckles and turns to the asset. ”Soldier.” he says mildly. “What do you say after that?”
The asset looks over to him and replies “Welcome home. How was your day?” He says with no inflection. Rumlow nods, satisfied.
“And now for the good part. I’ll probably say something like ‘I had a shitty day.’”, and then, soldier, you say...”
“I know how to make it better.”
“And then?” Rumlow prompts.
The asset only hesitates for a second before going down to his knees and going for the zipper on Rumlow’s pants.
Jack coughs. “With all due respect, sir, I don’t want to see your dick.” he says, hoping it’s a reasonable objection.
Rumlow laughs and tells the asset to stop. He stops, looking almost confused.
“Relax” Rumlow says, nudging Jack with his elbow. “I’m just fucking with you. I wanted to see if you being here would stop him. Guess not.” He looks down at the asset. “Go back to the kitchen and do the dishes.”
The asset nods, stands up and leaves. Jack might be imagining it, but for a moment his face seemed almost relieved. Could’ve been a trick of light.
They polish off a couple more glasses of whiskey and then it is finally time to leave. Jack is still feeling anxious, but the alcohol took a bit of an edge off it.
Rumlow walks him to the door. The asset hasn’t returned, and Jack is grateful that he doesn’t have to look at him right now.
“Thank you for the uh, lovely dinner, commander.” he says, standing just outside the door.
“Thanks for coming, Jack. Hope you’ll keep our conversations in mind. You do that, and you might just be my right-hand man yet. And now, if you don’t mind, I have to attend to the wife.” He says with a wink, and closes the door.