Chapter Text
Kyungsoo enters the house. Pitch black and quiet, like it usually is. Sighing, he steps into the 3-room apartment, putting down his phone and rolling up his sleeves to prepare some food for himself. His husband had a late shift tonight, so eggs and rice it is.
If you asked Kyungsoo how life was, he’d be blunt - mundane, dull, boring, repetitive. but he’s married! Sure his life with a spouse wouldn’t be too bad!
Not if your husband is Kim Jongdae, he might say.
Never in a million years, he would ever think he’d call his college sweetheart boring. Jongdae was never like this back in school; he was fun, lively, loud - some things Kyungsoo wasn’t and that was fine. Opposites attract anyway, right?
But now? Kyungsoo thinks he’s the fun one.
Maybe adulting got tough, and it took the life out of his husband. Whatever, it wasn’t like they see each other often now anyway, so Kyungsoo thinks he can live with it. Really, his life was dull.
Maybe people were right - they did get married too young.
Jongdae only comes home at 11, Kyungsoo already asleep but temporarily woken up by the noise. Grunting, Jongdae only chuckles at the younger, kissing him on the cheek, “Sorry, baby. go to sleep, goodnight.”
And the cycle repeats.
“What do you want to do today?” Jongdae had asked one day when neither of them had work, and Kyungsoo only shrugged. “Movie?” he asked again, and Kyungsoo only replies with a ‘sure’.
Jongdae suspects that there was something wrong with his husband. He’s been distant for a while, and he thought it could be work, but Jongdae knew when he was work-stressed, and this wasn’t Kyungsoo work-stressed. He needed to do something to cheer and loosen him up.
As Jongdae searches on his phone at what he could get for the other at such short notice, flowers, food, chocolates… he hears a grunt.
“If you're not going to watch the movie, why bother?” Kyungsoo stands up and walks away, locking himself in the study. Jongdae’s heart drops at that, not knowing what just happened. They were just cuddling… Well, sort of. It was more like they sat beside each other and stared at the TV screen. He puts down his phone, still a little stunned.
‘So this is what it all comes down to, huh?’ Jongdae’s instincts were right all along, it’s not work. It's him . Kyungsoo doesn’t love him anymore. He gulps.
It was the beginning of their end.
\\
Kyungsoo meets Seungho a few weeks after. The tall man couldn’t be missed, and the way they hugged each other couldn’t be missed either., for Jongdae at least.
“Soo, who’s this?” Jongdae appears beside his husband, placing the dried pasta into the trolley.
The younger man brightens up, “He’s my childhood friend, the one I told you about. Seungho.” Jongdae tries to ignore the way Kyungsoo’s eyes sparkled at his friend and says, “Ah, I remember. Hello.”
“I hope he only says nice things about me," Seungho teases.
“Well... of course. Yes.”
“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks.
“I'll... I’ll get the eggs,” Jongdae softly informs the former, but it wasn’t like he was listening to him either, and walks away. As he took the turn, he threw one last glance at Seungho, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time they would see him.
Kyungsoo starts returning home late.
Like, 2am late.
And Jongdae would stay up each time to make sure he gets home, to him, and not stuck dead in some ditch somewhere (or to someone else). Each time Kyungsoo enters the room and says “Work”, Jongdae just hums at that, lying down for yet another restless sleep. He dreams of Kyungsoo bringing home flowers and kisses, but wakes up next to an empty space, where the man of his dreams should have been.
“Soo.” Kyungsoo hums in acknowledgement.
“Should we go on a holiday? We always wanted to go to J-”
“No. I only have a few vacation days saved and I want to use them for something else.”
“Oh, okay...?” Jongdae stops, looking hesitantly at the other.
“What, Dae?”
“Should we go for counselling?”
Kyungsoo finally puts down his phone, “Counselling? what for?”
“Marriage counselling? I feel lik-”
“There's nothing wrong with our marriage.”
“Soo, you have to hear me out.”
“Is this because I keep coming home late? I was at work, Jongdae. If you don’t believe me then you can come to my office whenever you want.”
Jongdae takes a deep breath, “I know you’re always with him.”
“And? We’re just catching up. Do you think I'm cheating on you?” Kyungsoo raises his voice, “Why would you accuse me of something like that?”
“Can you blame me? You keep coming up at 2 or 3am… you don’t eat with me anymore; you don’t even sit wit-”
Kyungsoo shouts, “Why are you so clingy?! I don’t have to be with you every single second of the day just because we’re marr-”
“I’M NOT BEING CLINGY. You’re not listening to me, Kyungsoo! You literally just admitted you were with him, right after you lied and said you stayed up for work. You're never at home, gallivanting somewhere with another guy… What am I supposed to think?!”
“That I am still faithful to you? I’ve never given any inclination that I am cheating on you. I can’t fucking believe you right now.”
“Soo, you don’t understand,” Jongdae groans in frustration. He tries to hold onto the younger's arms, “Be in my shoes for just a second, Soo. I-”
“Enough. I'm not going to sit here and let you accuse me of something as vile as infidelity. I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom.” Kyungsoo stands up and slams the door behind him, and Jongdae’s heart hurts.
The end continues, and it’s painful.
\\
Unfortunately, since they had the same circle of friends, Jongdae wasn’t the only one hurt. It’s also disheartening for their friends to see what was once the ‘happily forever after couple’ falling apart right in front of their eyes. Seungho was immediately introduced to them, Kyungsoo inviting him to their weekly dinners at the bar, and if not for Junmyeon holding him down, Sehun would’ve punched the lights out of Kyungsoo. Jongdae used to be wherever Kyungsoo was and vice versa, but now the norm is seeing one without the other.
Watching your relationship fall bit by bit into many pieces is probably the most depressing thing Jongdae has ever had to experience in his life. No amount of home-cooked meals, handmade gifts, spontaneous outings to places they loved, could ever make Kyungsoo smile the same way he does with Seungho anymore. Jongdae knows how that feels; Kyungsoo looking at you like you’re the most amazing person in the universe.
Kyungsoo used to look at him like that.
Just three months since they reunited and a month since Jongdae consulted a divorce attorney, he sits stiffly at the dinner table, waiting for Kyungsoo to come home.
1.45am and the said person walks in, shocked that his estranged husband was sitting at the table waiting for him.
“Here,” Jongdae greets, going straight to the point and passing Kyungsoo the papers, “I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom tonight, and move out tomorrow.” The younger man didn’t have to read it to know what it was. He stood still watching his soon-to-be-ex-husband leave him without turning back.
“Don’t even try and stop me.” Chanyeol, with determination in his eyes, slammed open the door to what was once, the Kim-Do household, and pushed the bedroom door open, “Where the hell is that bastard?”
Kyungsoo woke up to the noise, which was very much unwelcomed and saw 5 of his friends - Chanyeol, Sehun, Junmyeon, Jongin and Yixing - there.
“W-what the hell is going on?”
“Where the fuck is that Seungho bitch? Fucking homewrecker is what he is.”
“I... I wouldn't know where he is. Why do you even want to know anyway? damaging my door like this.”
“Soo,” Junmyeon starts gently, “Why… Why did you do it to Jongdae?”
“Do what?”
Sehun snorts, “Cheat on him, asshole.”
“Do not fucking call me that. I did not cheat on him. If you’re going to accuse me of things like this and causing disturbance this early, I suggest you leave before I call the police.” Junmyeon stares at him wide-eyed and pulls his boyfriend away, leaving Chanyeol, Jongin and Yixing to deal with him.
“Soo. Have you read the papers?” Yixing starts gently, sitting down on the edge of the bed with Jongin. Chanyeol stands near the door, ready to bolt if Kyungsoo said something stupid.
“The divorce ones? Yeah, irreconcilable differences. We don’t love each other like we used to anymore.”
“Did hyung say that? Sure doesn’t sound like him,” Jongin pipes in.
“He doesn't have to show it. I just know. We both do.”
Yixing and Jongin looked at each other and the older of the two spoke up, “Is it true he tried to get you to couples’ counselling?”
“Yeah. Told him we don’t need that stupid bullshit.”
“Kyungsoo… Jongdae has been going to counselling by himself. He thinks it’s his fault for the failure of your marriage," Yixing explained.
This was the first time he had heard of Jongdae going to counselling, but ignores how his heart constricts at the statement. “It’s not. We just don’t love each other anymore, it’s as simple as that.”
“Jongdae-hyung... he thinks you cheated on him. Please tell us it’s not the case.”
“I…” Kyungsoo swallows, “I didn't cheat on him…”
“Are you telling us the truth?” Yixing prompts.
“Yes! We may not love each other anymore but I would never cheat on anyone, ever.”
“Did Jongdae-hyung explicitly tell you he doesn’t love you?”
“He doesn’t have t-”
“Just answer the question directly, Soo. Did he or did he not?” Chanyeol sterned.
“No.”
“So you really don’t love Jongdae-hyung anymore?”
“No... No, I guess I don't. I don’t love him anymore,” Kyungsoo admits reluctantly, a little relieved to get that off his shoulders, and a heavier feeling of something else.
\\
He didn't want anything, so Kyungsoo gets to keep everything they own, which makes the latter really confused. The divorce was finalised as fast and fuss-free as possible, and Kyungsoo walked out of the office. relieved, he thinks.
“So this is it?” Jongdae asks, and Kyungsoo nods.
The former smiles genuinely, “Thank you for the past 6 years together, the last 3 especially. I've never been happier, thank you.”
“Me too.”
“I want you to be happy, Soo. Even if it’s without me, that’s more than okay. I hope Seungho-ssi makes you happy the way I couldn't,” Jongdae pauses, wiping his nose a little. “Ilove you, Do Kyungsoo. and I always will. Goodbye.” Kyungsoo watches him walk away, wishing he didn’t feel as shitty as he felt then.
“Hey, Soo. Been waiting long?”
Kyungsoo shakes his head, downing a shot of soju, “Divorce is finalised.”
“I'm sorry, I know how hard it was for you to maintain the relationship.”
“Yeah.”
“But since you both don’t love each other, it should be fine, right? How much did he take?”
“nNthing. He took nothing.”
“He... gave you everything? Wow, he must want an out in the relationship more than you do,” Seungho snorted.
“Shut up, it’s not like that. Don’t speak about Jongdae like that," he unconsciously defends his ex-husband.
“Why not? It’s just that with all the problems, and you actively avoiding him at home, I'd think that both of you wanted the relationship to end.”
Problems? What problems? Kyungsoo had wanted to ask. Were there any to begin with? Kyungsoo downs another shot, signaling for the ahjumma to give him another bottle. She does and he forgoes the shot glass altogether and drinks straight from the bottle.
“Whoa, slow down, Soo.” Kyungsoo suddenly turns around, looking in the direction where he hears it, or thinks he hears it.
But no, it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his laughter he had heard. He downs the soju once more.
“Sleep with me. please, Seungho,” Kyungsoo begs, once they stepped into his house, just his.
“You’re drunk,Soo, and you just got divorced. Not yet.”
“Please, Seungho. I need this, you know I do. I won’t...” he burps, “Regret it… Seungho please,” he begs.
“No, Soo. I'm not going to take advantage of your state like this. Please go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up.”
“Okay. Jongdae, I lov-”